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1
00:00:01,517 --> 00:00:04,553
You know those kids that are,
like... like, if he was like one.
2
00:00:04,621 --> 00:00:06,088
I.Q. Smaller, he'd get benefits,
3
00:00:06,156 --> 00:00:09,983
but do you remembr that fat doum
ugly boy who coulden't have catch a ball,
4
00:00:09,994 --> 00:00:10,593
right?
5
00:00:10,661 --> 00:00:11,593
[Laughter]
6
00:00:11,662 --> 00:00:15,530
That kid was told he
could achieve anything.
7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,699
[Laughter]
8
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,133
Right?
9
00:00:18,202 --> 00:00:20,635
You know what they should
have done with that kid?
10
00:00:20,704 --> 00:00:23,305
They could have gone, "oy,
Kevin, you fat prick."
11
00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:24,106
[Laughter]
12
00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:26,441
"Dig a hole, you dumb kid."
13
00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:29,811
All right, you... That up, as
well, but no one else wants to
14
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,647
"do it, so you got
the gig, big boy."
15
00:00:32,716 --> 00:00:35,850
So, you want to be
a better brother?
16
00:00:35,919 --> 00:00:37,251
800,000 hits.
17
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,322
Most of those are kids that
hit on that, so they like me.
18
00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:45,227
Do you have any children
of your own, Mr. jefferies?
19
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:45,794
No.
20
00:00:45,863 --> 00:00:46,695
No, no, no.
21
00:00:46,763 --> 00:00:48,297
No, the occasional scare.
22
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:51,499
You know, you leave it in, you
wonder for a week or two, but I
23
00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:54,669
do have a disabled friend that
I live with, and he's severely
24
00:00:54,738 --> 00:00:57,105
disabled... not just a little
bit "mm," but, like, you know,
25
00:00:57,174 --> 00:00:59,007
like Stephen Hawking
without the intelligence.
26
00:00:59,076 --> 00:01:02,110
Although his intelligence isn't
affected, but he's not that
27
00:01:02,191 --> 00:01:04,253
bright.
28
00:01:04,254 --> 00:01:10,308
Sync & corrections by No1
www.addic7ed.Com
29
00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,554
Can you believe they rejected me?
Me!
30
00:01:12,623 --> 00:01:15,257
No, Jim, I'm not surprised
that an organization that
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00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,026
dedicates itself to enriching
the lives of disenfranchised
32
00:01:18,095 --> 00:01:19,261
youth has rejected you.
33
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,328
That hurts, Steve.
34
00:01:20,397 --> 00:01:20,795
Ramona.
35
00:01:20,864 --> 00:01:22,130
I'm with Steve on this one.
36
00:01:22,198 --> 00:01:22,663
Billy.
37
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:24,098
You've enriched my life, Jim.
38
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:24,532
See?
39
00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:25,633
Billy... life enriched.
40
00:01:25,702 --> 00:01:26,467
Thank you. Boom!
41
00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:27,335
You're welcome.
42
00:01:27,404 --> 00:01:29,003
Anyway, your
daughter loves me.
43
00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:29,738
That's true.
44
00:01:29,806 --> 00:01:31,139
Emily does love her Uncle Jim.
45
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:33,441
That's because she only has to
deal with him in small doses.
46
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,076
And because her dad's
a complete tool.
47
00:01:35,145 --> 00:01:35,610
Whatever.
48
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,744
Ramona doesn't think I'm a tool.
49
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No comment.
50
00:01:37,414 --> 00:01:37,779
What?!
51
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,914
Just because she doesn't call
you a tool doesn't mean she
52
00:01:39,983 --> 00:01:40,949
doesn't think you're a tool.
53
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,986
Then why did Ramona ask me to
speak at her nephew's career
54
00:01:44,055 --> 00:01:45,788
day, Jim?
55
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,122
I was desperate.
56
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,290
Yes, she was.
57
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:49,992
You chose him over me?
58
00:01:50,061 --> 00:01:51,360
Oh, yes, she did.
59
00:01:51,429 --> 00:01:53,129
Stop trying to
be black, Steve.
60
00:01:53,198 --> 00:01:54,096
It's embarrassing.
61
00:01:54,165 --> 00:01:56,999
Clay goes to school in Compton,
Jim, where there are gangs and
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00:01:57,068 --> 00:01:57,867
metal detectors.
63
00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:00,469
You chose an encyclopedia
salesman over a comedian?
64
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:01,937
It's an online law library.
65
00:02:02,006 --> 00:02:03,439
What's the difference, Steve?
66
00:02:03,507 --> 00:02:06,108
Why don't you come to career
day with me and find out,
67
00:02:06,177 --> 00:02:06,642
dickhead?
68
00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:08,344
Yeah, that's
what I'm gonna do.
69
00:02:08,412 --> 00:02:10,613
I'm gonna go to career day and
listen to you talk about the
70
00:02:10,681 --> 00:02:12,915
exciting life of an online
encyclopedia salesman to a bunch
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00:02:12,984 --> 00:02:15,351
of black... - hey, Jim.
72
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:17,686
African-American
gangbangers from Compton.
73
00:02:17,755 --> 00:02:20,789
I prefer the term "black" to
"African-American," and they're
74
00:02:20,858 --> 00:02:23,125
all not gangbangers, dickhead.
75
00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:28,197
So, my company, cyber
law libraries, allows you
76
00:02:28,266 --> 00:02:32,768
and your law firm to access all
those law digests right on your
77
00:02:32,837 --> 00:02:33,536
laptop.
78
00:02:33,604 --> 00:02:38,641
I know you all know
what a laptop is.
79
00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:41,578
It's the machine that you look
at porn on, the porn machine.
80
00:02:41,647 --> 00:02:43,413
Oh, yeah, the porn machine.
81
00:02:43,482 --> 00:02:44,081
Okay.
82
00:02:44,149 --> 00:02:44,948
[Moans]
83
00:02:45,017 --> 00:02:46,116
That's enough.
84
00:02:46,185 --> 00:02:48,285
Calm down, please.
85
00:02:48,354 --> 00:02:50,287
Please continue, Mr. nugget.
86
00:02:50,356 --> 00:02:51,388
It's... it's nugent.
87
00:02:51,457 --> 00:02:52,156
[Laughs]
88
00:02:52,224 --> 00:02:53,057
And that's it.
89
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:54,358
I'm... that was everything.
90
00:02:54,427 --> 00:02:57,261
- I'm done, so...
- That's it?
91
00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:58,562
That's it.
92
00:02:58,631 --> 00:03:01,332
That's all you've got?
93
00:03:01,401 --> 00:03:04,903
Yep.
94
00:03:04,971 --> 00:03:06,871
[Laughs]
95
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:12,866
Well, we still have 15 more
minutes before the bell rings.
96
00:03:12,935 --> 00:03:15,302
I can talk about
our online forms.
97
00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:17,204
No, thank you.
98
00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:20,907
Uh, does anyone have a
question for Mr. nugent?
99
00:03:20,976 --> 00:03:22,042
Anyone?
100
00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:22,709
Clay, yes.
101
00:03:22,778 --> 00:03:23,843
You have a question.
102
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:28,581
Do you know, like, where,
uh, arby's is around here?
103
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,549
[Laughter]
104
00:03:29,617 --> 00:03:32,418
Class, that's enough.
105
00:03:32,487 --> 00:03:33,285
Clay Thomas.
106
00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:34,487
Yes, miss Clark?
107
00:03:34,555 --> 00:03:37,323
Do you think you owe
Mr. nugent an apology?
108
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:42,462
I'm sorry for making fun of you, Mr.
New-nut.
109
00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:43,163
[Laughter]
110
00:03:43,232 --> 00:03:44,631
I already said "quiet down"
111
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,031
once.
112
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,735
You want to see what happens
if I have to say it again?
113
00:03:48,804 --> 00:03:51,605
Does your friend work with
you selling encyclopedias?
114
00:03:51,674 --> 00:03:54,942
It's an online law library, so...
But, no, he's... he's a
115
00:03:55,011 --> 00:03:56,845
- comedian, so...
- A comedian?
116
00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:57,912
You're a comedian?
117
00:03:57,981 --> 00:03:59,380
Yes, I'm a comedian, yeah.
118
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:02,383
Does anyone want to hear
Mr. nugent's friend Jim tell us
119
00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:03,518
about being a comedian?
120
00:04:03,587 --> 00:04:04,118
Oh, no.
121
00:04:04,187 --> 00:04:04,652
Yeah!
122
00:04:04,721 --> 00:04:05,320
Yes, Jim.
123
00:04:05,388 --> 00:04:05,820
Come, Jim.
124
00:04:05,889 --> 00:04:06,521
Please, come up.
125
00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:07,488
You can go sit down now.
126
00:04:07,557 --> 00:04:07,989
Thank you.
127
00:04:08,058 --> 00:04:08,389
Please.
128
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:08,990
All right.
129
00:04:09,059 --> 00:04:09,758
Thank you.
130
00:04:09,826 --> 00:04:10,825
Riveting, Steve.
131
00:04:10,894 --> 00:04:11,993
Very good. You killed.
132
00:04:12,062 --> 00:04:15,363
Could I please have a round of
applause for Mr. Stevie nuggins,
133
00:04:15,432 --> 00:04:16,031
everyone?
134
00:04:16,099 --> 00:04:17,399
He was great, wasn't he?
135
00:04:17,468 --> 00:04:18,733
Uh, my name's Jim jefferies.
136
00:04:18,802 --> 00:04:20,402
I'll tell you about
being a comedian.
137
00:04:20,471 --> 00:04:22,137
You don't really have
to go to school.
138
00:04:22,206 --> 00:04:23,672
It has nothing to
do with grades.
139
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,808
I never went to university
or anything like that.
140
00:04:25,876 --> 00:04:27,510
In fact, I didn't
finish high school.
141
00:04:27,578 --> 00:04:28,778
You work 20-minute days.
142
00:04:28,847 --> 00:04:30,780
Sort of Thursday
through to Saturday.
143
00:04:30,849 --> 00:04:33,816
So, it's about an hour every two
weeks, but that's when you're
144
00:04:33,885 --> 00:04:34,617
starting out.
145
00:04:34,686 --> 00:04:37,687
And since then, my career's
really, fwoo, skyrocketed.
146
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,522
And now I do an hour a night.
147
00:04:39,591 --> 00:04:43,192
And so, I've tripled my work
load, so it's like a madhouse.
148
00:04:43,261 --> 00:04:43,993
Yes, Clay?
149
00:04:44,062 --> 00:04:44,727
Yeah.
150
00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:46,529
You bring home the cheddar?
151
00:04:46,597 --> 00:04:48,864
Yes. What? Cheddar. What?
152
00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:49,565
Scrilla.
153
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:50,900
You know, stack and racks.
154
00:04:50,969 --> 00:04:52,368
You know, Benjamins. Serious.
155
00:04:52,437 --> 00:04:53,369
Oh. Money. Yes.
156
00:04:53,438 --> 00:04:54,771
I bring home a lot of money.
157
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:58,675
I can purchase as many rats or
as much cheese as I wish with my
158
00:04:58,744 --> 00:04:59,476
Benjamins.
159
00:04:59,545 --> 00:05:00,877
So, what do you do?
160
00:05:00,946 --> 00:05:03,313
You just, you know... you
just tell stories, do what I'm
161
00:05:03,382 --> 00:05:03,847
doing now.
162
00:05:03,916 --> 00:05:04,881
You just talk to people.
163
00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:06,116
You try to make things funny.
164
00:05:06,184 --> 00:05:08,218
Okay, for example, this is
off the top of my head.
165
00:05:08,287 --> 00:05:10,420
Like, uh, if you want to
talk about slurpees, right?
166
00:05:10,489 --> 00:05:13,023
You go to buy a slurpee, and you
pull out the cup, and then you
167
00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:15,425
think to yourself, "wow, for
four cents more, I could get a"
168
00:05:15,494 --> 00:05:17,227
cup that could fit
over my head."
169
00:05:17,295 --> 00:05:20,263
So, you think, "I'd have to be a
dickhead not to get that cup."
170
00:05:20,332 --> 00:05:20,964
[Laughter]
171
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:22,932
All right? So, you
pull out that one.
172
00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:24,801
You put six flavors into it.
173
00:05:24,870 --> 00:05:25,835
You taste it.
174
00:05:25,904 --> 00:05:27,203
It tastes horrible.
175
00:05:27,272 --> 00:05:31,140
But the value is just
outstanding, and, you know...
176
00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:33,176
So, you get to your car
with your slurpee.
177
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,812
You're as happy as a pig in
shit, and you put the slurpee
178
00:05:35,881 --> 00:05:36,680
down next to you.
179
00:05:36,748 --> 00:05:38,481
And here's your first
hurdle, right?
180
00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:40,583
Your cupholder's not big
enough to hold this.
181
00:05:40,652 --> 00:05:43,620
You need a cupholder like
a hula-hoop to hold this.
182
00:05:43,688 --> 00:05:45,855
So, you put it on
the passenger seat.
183
00:05:45,924 --> 00:05:50,259
The only way you can do it is a
drive, bend, drink, get up, hope
184
00:05:50,328 --> 00:05:52,094
for the best, right?
185
00:05:52,163 --> 00:05:53,462
You got to get into a rhythm.
186
00:05:53,531 --> 00:05:54,596
Up, hope for the best.
187
00:05:54,665 --> 00:05:57,432
Then you get up one time, you
see a Bentley in front of you.
188
00:05:57,501 --> 00:05:58,566
You slam on the brake.
189
00:05:58,635 --> 00:06:01,402
Your slurpee goes up into the
dash and screws up all the
190
00:06:01,471 --> 00:06:03,171
electronics in your orange dodge
191
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,541
challenger, and you have to take
it to the shop and you haven't
192
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,042
seen it for a couple weeks.
193
00:06:08,111 --> 00:06:08,810
[Laughter]
194
00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:12,013
And, you know, all that
cost you was four cents.
195
00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:13,148
What a bargain.
196
00:06:13,216 --> 00:06:15,249
[Laughter]
197
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,302
Oh!
198
00:06:20,371 --> 00:06:21,137
Hi, Clay.
199
00:06:21,205 --> 00:06:22,038
Hey, man.
200
00:06:22,106 --> 00:06:24,273
I'm sorry, but
Clay got suspended.
201
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,274
[Chuckles]
202
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,010
And since the little shit
can't be trusted by himself or
203
00:06:28,079 --> 00:06:30,779
with his hoodlum friends for
five minutes, I decided to bring
204
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:31,980
him with me to work today.
205
00:06:32,049 --> 00:06:32,948
[Vehicle revving]
206
00:06:33,016 --> 00:06:33,648
Don't stare.
207
00:06:33,717 --> 00:06:34,650
It's okay, dude.
208
00:06:34,718 --> 00:06:35,751
I'd stare at me, too.
209
00:06:35,819 --> 00:06:36,918
Don't encourage him.
210
00:06:36,987 --> 00:06:37,452
Damn.
211
00:06:37,521 --> 00:06:39,388
And you're not
wearing your oxygen.
212
00:06:39,457 --> 00:06:41,457
Yet somehow I'm still
able to breathe.
213
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:42,858
What'd you get suspended for?
214
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:43,926
For not showing up.
215
00:06:43,995 --> 00:06:46,529
So, to punish you, they're
gonna make you not show up to
216
00:06:46,598 --> 00:06:46,997
school.
217
00:06:47,065 --> 00:06:48,532
Geez, that'll teach you.
218
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,367
Sit your little ass down.
219
00:06:50,436 --> 00:06:51,068
And you!
220
00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:52,469
Ow! What was that for?
221
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:53,971
You bored him to death.
222
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,106
Turn off this game.
223
00:06:55,175 --> 00:06:57,242
He's not allowed
to play any games.
224
00:06:57,311 --> 00:06:58,410
He's being punished!
225
00:06:58,478 --> 00:06:59,611
No, I can play games.
226
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,479
I haven't been punished.
227
00:07:01,548 --> 00:07:02,447
[Vehicle revving]
228
00:07:02,515 --> 00:07:03,615
[Television turns off]
229
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:05,984
Can I talk to you
for a minute, Jim?
230
00:07:06,053 --> 00:07:09,121
Now!
231
00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:11,189
So, Clay, how are the honeys?
232
00:07:11,258 --> 00:07:12,457
Don't do that.
233
00:07:12,526 --> 00:07:14,158
Why not?
234
00:07:14,227 --> 00:07:14,659
What?
235
00:07:14,728 --> 00:07:17,161
That boy can't stop talking
about how you made the whole
236
00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:18,162
class laugh last week.
237
00:07:18,231 --> 00:07:18,563
So?
238
00:07:18,631 --> 00:07:21,065
He thinks that you're
some kind of Jesus.
239
00:07:21,134 --> 00:07:24,435
Not the kind of Jesus "thank
you, lord" that walked upon the
240
00:07:24,504 --> 00:07:24,969
water.
241
00:07:25,038 --> 00:07:28,373
No. Not the kind of Jesus "thank
you," that miracled the loaves,
242
00:07:28,441 --> 00:07:30,241
that fed the
multitude with fish.
243
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,944
But the kind of Jesus that
stands up on stage with filthy
244
00:07:33,013 --> 00:07:34,346
trash coming out of his piehole!
245
00:07:34,415 --> 00:07:36,848
Okay, I didn't even know
there was that type of Jesus.
246
00:07:36,917 --> 00:07:39,651
If I did, I would have
been on board years ago.
247
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,952
What was that for?
248
00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:41,987
Blasphemy.
249
00:07:42,055 --> 00:07:42,787
Jesus.
250
00:07:42,856 --> 00:07:44,555
Okay! All right!
251
00:07:44,624 --> 00:07:47,158
That boy don't know his
daddy, and his mama got more
252
00:07:47,226 --> 00:07:48,359
problems than I can count!
253
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:49,760
Come on. Like he can count.
254
00:07:49,829 --> 00:07:52,062
Okay. That's good.
255
00:07:52,131 --> 00:07:54,665
Uh... What would you
like me to do?
256
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:55,599
Fix it.
257
00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:56,800
What? Me? How?
258
00:07:56,869 --> 00:07:58,468
This started with you.
259
00:07:58,537 --> 00:07:59,803
And he's starting to get noticed
260
00:07:59,872 --> 00:08:02,472
by the wrong kind of people, and
that could get him killed in my
261
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:03,140
neighborhood.
262
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:06,877
It's just a couple
of days off school.
263
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,379
Okay.
264
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,181
It's time for
your sponge bath.
265
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,183
You want to give
me a happy ending?
266
00:08:13,252 --> 00:08:15,452
Do you want a slap
upside the head instead?
267
00:08:15,521 --> 00:08:16,253
No, ma'am.
268
00:08:16,322 --> 00:08:17,688
Get that out of his hands.
269
00:08:17,757 --> 00:08:19,957
Get bloody hell, Clay.
270
00:08:20,026 --> 00:08:20,424
Steve!
271
00:08:20,493 --> 00:08:22,259
He said he had
a prescription.
272
00:08:22,328 --> 00:08:25,229
Clay, all the things I said
in the school the other day,
273
00:08:25,298 --> 00:08:26,330
they all aren't true.
274
00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:28,266
You got to work
really hard in life.
275
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:29,267
But you didn't.
276
00:08:29,335 --> 00:08:30,101
Yes, I did.
277
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:32,170
You didn't finish school.
278
00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:34,672
That doesn't mean that
I didn't work hard.
279
00:08:34,741 --> 00:08:35,873
I stayed in school.
280
00:08:35,942 --> 00:08:37,241
Look where that got you.
281
00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:38,409
Selling encyclopedias.
282
00:08:38,478 --> 00:08:40,378
Man, they're not
encyc... whatever.
283
00:08:40,447 --> 00:08:43,314
What I'm trying to say is,
anything worth getting in life
284
00:08:43,383 --> 00:08:44,615
is worth working hard for.
285
00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:46,517
You think this all
just came to me?
286
00:08:46,586 --> 00:08:49,220
I busted my hump to get
to this stage in life.
287
00:08:49,288 --> 00:08:50,421
[Scoffs]
288
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:52,990
What? You think I came
from some type of privileged
289
00:08:53,059 --> 00:08:53,658
background?
290
00:08:53,726 --> 00:08:56,561
Growing up on the mean streets
of Sydney, I used to have to get
291
00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:59,564
on the 207 and change to get on
the 44 just to get to the bloody
292
00:08:59,633 --> 00:09:00,031
beach!
293
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,867
Transit system in
that country sucks.
294
00:09:01,935 --> 00:09:04,202
Yo, why would anyone
want to go to the beach?
295
00:09:04,271 --> 00:09:06,338
Why wouldn't you want
to go to the beach?
296
00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:07,172
It's the beach.
297
00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:09,775
You know, where the sand hits
the water and the water...
298
00:09:09,843 --> 00:09:11,643
there's girls there.
299
00:09:11,712 --> 00:09:13,278
Wait, you've never
been to the beach?
300
00:09:13,347 --> 00:09:14,813
Nah. I never
been to the beach.
301
00:09:14,882 --> 00:09:18,584
You live in L.A. and you've
never been to the beach?
302
00:09:18,652 --> 00:09:20,519
No.
303
00:09:20,588 --> 00:09:21,687
Yo, I ain't riding in that.
304
00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:23,455
Yeah, I'm not going
in that, either.
305
00:09:23,524 --> 00:09:24,022
Come on.
306
00:09:24,091 --> 00:09:25,090
My car's in the shop.
307
00:09:25,159 --> 00:09:26,258
Let's just take Todd's car.
308
00:09:26,327 --> 00:09:28,861
No, I'm only supposed to turn
it over twice a week while he's
309
00:09:28,929 --> 00:09:29,494
on vacation.
310
00:09:29,563 --> 00:09:32,031
Well, let's turn the engine
over while we go to the beach.
311
00:09:32,099 --> 00:09:32,898
I don't want to.
312
00:09:32,967 --> 00:09:33,499
Come on.
313
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:38,270
You got to see the beach once.
314
00:09:38,339 --> 00:09:40,406
Hi.
315
00:09:40,475 --> 00:09:44,109
[Mumbles]
316
00:09:44,178 --> 00:09:45,778
It's nice down here, huh?
317
00:09:45,847 --> 00:09:47,279
Yeah. No shit. Heh.
318
00:09:47,348 --> 00:09:50,149
So, why have you never
been here before?
319
00:09:50,218 --> 00:09:52,818
My friend said this is
what rich white people do.
320
00:09:52,887 --> 00:09:55,588
They do know
it's free, right?
321
00:09:55,657 --> 00:09:57,256
Listen, Clay.
322
00:09:57,325 --> 00:09:59,191
It's important who
you hang out with.
323
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,993
People judge you
by your friends.
324
00:10:01,061 --> 00:10:03,995
Hang out with stupid people,
they'll make you do dumb things.
325
00:10:04,064 --> 00:10:05,630
Take Steve, for instance.
326
00:10:05,699 --> 00:10:09,567
What?
327
00:10:09,636 --> 00:10:13,671
Think I should probably
get this car back.
328
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:15,673
Hey, Steve.
329
00:10:15,742 --> 00:10:17,041
Yeah?
330
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:20,544
II think this is a
picture of your ex-wife.
331
00:10:20,613 --> 00:10:21,612
Oh!
332
00:10:21,681 --> 00:10:23,548
Oh, my God!
333
00:10:23,617 --> 00:10:24,682
On the kitchen table?
334
00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:26,751
That's my kitchen
table where I eat!
335
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:27,986
Well, he is eating.
336
00:10:28,055 --> 00:10:29,020
Son of a bitch!
337
00:10:29,089 --> 00:10:30,155
Wait, wait, wait.
338
00:10:30,224 --> 00:10:33,058
So, the guy who car this is
has been nutting your wife?
339
00:10:33,127 --> 00:10:38,530
Rich white people can
suck my big, fat dick!
340
00:10:38,599 --> 00:10:39,131
What?
341
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,668
What are you doing,
you little psychopath?
342
00:10:42,736 --> 00:10:45,504
Give me that.
343
00:10:45,573 --> 00:10:46,672
Good work, Steve.
344
00:10:46,741 --> 00:10:48,840
Georgia, I hope
you die, you whore!
345
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:52,644
You ruined my life, you bitch!
346
00:10:52,713 --> 00:10:54,846
Nice, slaphead.
347
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:55,981
Thank you.
348
00:10:56,049 --> 00:10:57,883
Do you feel better now?
349
00:10:57,951 --> 00:10:59,184
Not yet.
350
00:10:59,253 --> 00:11:00,752
[Tires screech]
351
00:11:00,821 --> 00:11:01,720
All right.
352
00:11:01,789 --> 00:11:03,722
- Oh, my...
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
353
00:11:03,791 --> 00:11:05,557
Suck my toe!
354
00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:11,129
Oh, you slut.
355
00:11:11,198 --> 00:11:13,132
Oh, you dirty whore!
356
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,168
Clay, do you remember what I
said about friends getting you
357
00:11:16,237 --> 00:11:16,936
into trouble?
358
00:11:17,004 --> 00:11:18,003
Oh, come on, man.
359
00:11:18,072 --> 00:11:20,506
He's just mad aggro 'cause some
fool went and macked on his
360
00:11:20,575 --> 00:11:20,940
woman.
361
00:11:21,008 --> 00:11:21,774
Son of a bitch!
362
00:11:21,842 --> 00:11:22,441
I feel it.
363
00:11:22,509 --> 00:11:25,010
This is a great example of
someone getting angry and doing
364
00:11:25,078 --> 00:11:25,810
something stupid.
365
00:11:25,879 --> 00:11:26,845
Steve! Steve?
366
00:11:26,913 --> 00:11:28,713
Steve, you got to slow down.
367
00:11:28,782 --> 00:11:29,847
Dirty whore!
368
00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:31,215
Do it, slaphead!
369
00:11:31,284 --> 00:11:32,216
Slow down!
370
00:11:32,285 --> 00:11:33,184
Slaphead!
371
00:11:33,252 --> 00:11:34,518
Okay, Steve's angry now.
372
00:11:34,587 --> 00:11:35,652
You see how he's angry?
373
00:11:35,721 --> 00:11:36,887
He's driving erratically.
374
00:11:36,956 --> 00:11:37,487
Bitch!
375
00:11:37,556 --> 00:11:40,057
When your friends get dumb
and mad, you can get caught up
376
00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:40,457
in it.
377
00:11:40,526 --> 00:11:41,792
Yeah, but what if it's fun?
378
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:44,195
Yeah, but first,
is it stupid?
379
00:11:44,264 --> 00:11:47,198
Yo, my homies get angry all
the time over some dumb shit.
380
00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:48,499
And then they shoot them.
381
00:11:48,568 --> 00:11:50,702
Sounds like a good idea.
382
00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:52,904
No way to resolve
an argument, Clay.
383
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:56,074
Son of a bitch! Bastard!
384
00:11:56,143 --> 00:11:58,043
Jesus Christ, Steve!
385
00:11:58,112 --> 00:11:59,178
Son of a dick licker!
386
00:11:59,246 --> 00:11:59,678
Okay.
387
00:11:59,747 --> 00:12:00,512
What about drugs?
388
00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:01,413
What about them?
389
00:12:01,482 --> 00:12:03,115
Do any of your
friends take them?
390
00:12:03,183 --> 00:12:04,750
Oh, that ain't
no biggie, man.
391
00:12:04,818 --> 00:12:06,084
I know where to get some coke.
392
00:12:06,153 --> 00:12:06,652
Do you?
393
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:07,152
Yeah!
394
00:12:07,221 --> 00:12:09,822
Okay, well, maybe we should
go get some of that, and I can
395
00:12:09,891 --> 00:12:10,990
tell you why that's wrong.
396
00:12:11,058 --> 00:12:11,724
[Laughs]
397
00:12:11,792 --> 00:12:13,793
Yeah, yeah! Go, go!
398
00:12:13,861 --> 00:12:14,493
[Laughs]
399
00:12:14,562 --> 00:12:15,294
I got it!
400
00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:18,164
When your friends act
stupid, you do dumb things.
401
00:12:18,232 --> 00:12:19,765
Oh, shit!
402
00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:21,634
You're judged by the
people you hang out with.
403
00:12:21,703 --> 00:12:23,169
[Siren wails]
404
00:12:23,237 --> 00:12:24,570
Yo! 5-0!
405
00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:26,505
Move, move, move!
406
00:12:26,574 --> 00:12:27,073
Clay!
407
00:12:27,141 --> 00:12:28,407
Not if I ain't here.
408
00:12:28,476 --> 00:12:29,008
Clay!
409
00:12:29,077 --> 00:12:30,242
Clay, where are you going?!
410
00:12:30,311 --> 00:12:32,878
[Tires screech]
411
00:12:32,947 --> 00:12:33,746
Hey, hey, hey!
412
00:12:33,815 --> 00:12:36,682
You two in the car, step out
of the vehicle with your hands
413
00:12:36,751 --> 00:12:37,717
on top of your heads!
414
00:12:37,785 --> 00:12:39,118
Now!
415
00:12:39,187 --> 00:12:41,821
Hands on the hood!
416
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:45,158
Passenger, hands on the hood!
417
00:12:45,227 --> 00:12:47,027
That's the hood.
418
00:12:47,095 --> 00:12:49,129
There you go.
419
00:12:53,311 --> 00:12:55,612
You two guys want to tell me
what the hell is going on here?
420
00:12:55,681 --> 00:12:56,813
We were just driving around.
421
00:12:56,882 --> 00:12:58,949
Wait, wait. Wait a second.
422
00:12:59,018 --> 00:13:00,150
You're Jim jefferies?
423
00:13:00,219 --> 00:13:00,784
Yeah.
424
00:13:00,853 --> 00:13:01,785
The comedian?
425
00:13:01,854 --> 00:13:02,352
Yeah.
426
00:13:02,421 --> 00:13:03,153
Oh, man.
427
00:13:03,222 --> 00:13:04,521
I loved your hbo special.
428
00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:05,388
Thank you.
429
00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:06,523
"Up, gunta! Up!"
430
00:13:06,592 --> 00:13:07,357
Hear that?
431
00:13:07,426 --> 00:13:08,725
He loved my hbo special.
432
00:13:08,794 --> 00:13:09,993
Whoa.
433
00:13:10,062 --> 00:13:10,560
Who's she?
434
00:13:10,629 --> 00:13:11,494
It's my ex-wife.
435
00:13:11,563 --> 00:13:12,829
And the guy on top of her?
436
00:13:12,897 --> 00:13:13,796
My neighbor, Todd.
437
00:13:13,865 --> 00:13:15,599
Todd's actually a
pretty good guy.
438
00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:16,232
Shut up.
439
00:13:16,301 --> 00:13:17,967
Yeah. It seems like it.
440
00:13:18,035 --> 00:13:18,901
Is that his car?
441
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:19,735
Damn right.
442
00:13:19,804 --> 00:13:22,771
That is why we were banging
into shopping carts, officer,
443
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:23,138
sir.
444
00:13:23,207 --> 00:13:24,573
Well, I don't blame you.
445
00:13:24,641 --> 00:13:25,841
You will fix the car.
446
00:13:25,909 --> 00:13:26,775
[Scoffs]
447
00:13:26,844 --> 00:13:27,442
Sure.
448
00:13:27,511 --> 00:13:28,777
Right?
449
00:13:28,846 --> 00:13:33,649
You will fix the car.
450
00:13:33,718 --> 00:13:34,150
Yeah.
451
00:13:34,218 --> 00:13:35,318
All right. Let them go.
452
00:13:35,387 --> 00:13:36,986
You seen the one
in the hammock?
453
00:13:37,055 --> 00:13:37,987
Which one is that?
454
00:13:38,056 --> 00:13:38,655
All right.
455
00:13:38,723 --> 00:13:39,556
Keep going through.
456
00:13:39,624 --> 00:13:40,991
There you go.
457
00:13:41,059 --> 00:13:43,160
Wow.
458
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:45,229
[Door opens]
459
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:50,534
Billy's room.
460
00:13:50,603 --> 00:13:52,202
Damn it, you two.
461
00:13:52,271 --> 00:13:53,437
Where's Clay?
462
00:13:53,505 --> 00:13:56,473
Uh... we lost him?
463
00:13:56,541 --> 00:13:58,709
You did what?!
464
00:13:58,777 --> 00:14:01,177
What happened was, we got
pulled over by the cops.
465
00:14:01,246 --> 00:14:01,912
Oh, my God.
466
00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:03,380
Clay is running from the police?
467
00:14:03,449 --> 00:14:05,248
Well, it's not as
bad as it sounds.
468
00:14:05,317 --> 00:14:06,916
It's a... oh, it's
a funny story.
469
00:14:06,985 --> 00:14:08,184
You're gonna laugh at this.
470
00:14:08,253 --> 00:14:09,052
You're gonna laugh.
471
00:14:09,121 --> 00:14:11,354
Um, we take him to the beach
like you asked us to do.
472
00:14:11,423 --> 00:14:11,889
Uhhuh.
473
00:14:11,957 --> 00:14:14,224
And no one wanted to be in
Steve's car, so we had to
474
00:14:14,293 --> 00:14:14,891
borrow a car.
475
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,092
You know Todd over the road?
476
00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:16,960
Oh, I like Todd.
477
00:14:17,029 --> 00:14:17,661
I love Todd.
478
00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:18,962
Yeah, everybody loves Todd!
479
00:14:19,031 --> 00:14:20,130
Todd's a great guy.
480
00:14:20,199 --> 00:14:20,931
But he has flaws.
481
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,333
We were in the car, and we
opened the glove box, and there
482
00:14:23,402 --> 00:14:24,301
was a camera in there.
483
00:14:24,370 --> 00:14:25,169
Remember the camera?
484
00:14:25,237 --> 00:14:26,870
He's got... - yeah.
I got the camera.
485
00:14:26,939 --> 00:14:27,337
Yeah?
486
00:14:27,406 --> 00:14:30,540
On the camera, there's literally
hundreds of pictures of Steve's
487
00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:32,141
wife having sex with Todd.
488
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:33,876
Oh, damn, baby. I'm sorry.
489
00:14:33,945 --> 00:14:34,710
Awesome.
490
00:14:34,779 --> 00:14:37,280
Understandably,
he got very angry.
491
00:14:37,349 --> 00:14:39,549
Um, lost control, I'd say.
492
00:14:39,618 --> 00:14:42,419
And I thought at that stage,
what a great lesson for Clay,
493
00:14:42,487 --> 00:14:43,019
you know?
494
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:44,454
I was like, "look at Steve."
495
00:14:44,523 --> 00:14:45,555
He's a bad influence.
496
00:14:45,624 --> 00:14:48,825
This is what happens, Clay, when
you hang around with the wrong
497
00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:49,326
"crowd."
498
00:14:49,394 --> 00:14:51,562
And I think that really,
really hit home.
499
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:53,164
And where the hell is Clay?
500
00:14:53,232 --> 00:14:54,332
We did lose Clay.
501
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,099
He just ran.
502
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:57,102
Look, you should
be proud of him.
503
00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:59,437
He's very fast, athletic,
like a whippet.
504
00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:02,407
What the hell, Clay?
505
00:15:02,476 --> 00:15:03,875
Sorry.
506
00:15:03,943 --> 00:15:09,280
Jim, hit him.
507
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:10,482
What was that for?
508
00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:13,752
For being stupid and running
from the police while being
509
00:15:13,821 --> 00:15:14,253
black.
510
00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:17,356
Lesson to be learned there.
...Never run and be black.
511
00:15:17,425 --> 00:15:18,824
Steve, would you do that?
512
00:15:18,893 --> 00:15:20,526
Not not while black. No.
513
00:15:20,594 --> 00:15:21,160
Shut up!
514
00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:23,863
You need to get the hell out
of here before I start getting
515
00:15:23,932 --> 00:15:24,564
really angry.
516
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,434
Don't wreck anything,
and don't get arrested!
517
00:15:27,503 --> 00:15:29,269
Holy shit. Look at this.
518
00:15:29,338 --> 00:15:31,237
Looks like she's in Hawaii.
519
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:34,207
[Laughing] Oh, he
took her to Hawaii.
520
00:15:34,276 --> 00:15:34,841
Great!
521
00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:36,643
I never took her to Hawaii.
522
00:15:36,711 --> 00:15:37,544
Oh!
523
00:15:37,612 --> 00:15:39,746
Therein lies the rub, man.
524
00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,414
Yo, man, can I
ask you something?
525
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,282
Yeah. Ask away.
526
00:15:42,351 --> 00:15:44,885
You make a lot of cheddar
standing up in front of people
527
00:15:44,953 --> 00:15:45,819
and cussing at them?
528
00:15:45,888 --> 00:15:48,321
I do all right at it, but
it's not just swearing, Clay.
529
00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:49,155
It's... I'm a storyteller.
530
00:15:49,224 --> 00:15:50,256
I tell stories to people.
531
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,858
What kind of
stories you tell?
532
00:15:51,927 --> 00:15:54,260
Stories about your life,
stories about what you've been
533
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,729
up to, stories about your
trials, your tribulations, your
534
00:15:56,798 --> 00:15:57,964
family, girls you've slept with.
535
00:15:58,032 --> 00:16:00,766
Just stories, you know? Stories.
536
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,769
Can you take me someplace?
537
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,971
[Sighs]
538
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,105
Okay.
539
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:10,107
We'll get some coke, but
this is one-off thing.
540
00:16:10,176 --> 00:16:11,943
Man, I don't want no coke.
541
00:16:12,011 --> 00:16:18,149
I don't think I've ever heard
anyone say that sentence.
542
00:16:18,217 --> 00:16:19,717
Skiing?
543
00:16:19,785 --> 00:16:20,551
Man, come on.
544
00:16:20,619 --> 00:16:21,685
What are you doing?
545
00:16:21,754 --> 00:16:23,053
I'm doing you a favor.
546
00:16:23,122 --> 00:16:24,321
What are you doing?
547
00:16:24,389 --> 00:16:27,423
Oh, come on!
548
00:16:27,492 --> 00:16:29,425
Let's sit down.
549
00:16:35,232 --> 00:16:38,902
Clay, you get why white people
go to the beach now, right?
550
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,237
This isn't without its charms.
551
00:16:41,306 --> 00:16:43,339
Got entertainment over there.
552
00:16:43,408 --> 00:16:44,674
[Mumbling]
553
00:16:44,743 --> 00:16:45,909
Fighting with a trash can.
554
00:16:45,977 --> 00:16:46,509
[Laughs]
555
00:16:46,578 --> 00:16:47,076
Shut up.
556
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:48,378
It looks like she's losing.
557
00:16:48,447 --> 00:16:49,179
Give it back!
558
00:16:49,247 --> 00:16:50,246
She's doing her best.
559
00:16:50,315 --> 00:16:51,915
Hey, shut the
hell up, all right?
560
00:16:51,983 --> 00:16:53,216
You don't know shit about her!
561
00:16:53,285 --> 00:16:54,985
She probably left
her baby in there.
562
00:16:55,053 --> 00:16:55,719
[Both laugh]
563
00:16:55,787 --> 00:17:00,924
Dude, that's my
mom, you assholes!
564
00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:01,658
Sorry, Clay.
565
00:17:01,727 --> 00:17:02,926
We don't know that's your mom.
566
00:17:02,995 --> 00:17:04,261
How do we know that's your mom?
567
00:17:04,330 --> 00:17:05,096
It's just a joke.
568
00:17:05,164 --> 00:17:06,297
It's nothing personal, Clay.
569
00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:06,998
I'm a comedian.
570
00:17:07,066 --> 00:17:07,665
I make jokes.
571
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:10,334
It doesn't mean that I hate the
world or I think everyone's bad.
572
00:17:10,403 --> 00:17:11,969
I'm just making
jokes about things.
573
00:17:12,038 --> 00:17:14,404
Remember how I told
you I tell stories?
574
00:17:14,473 --> 00:17:15,172
Yeah. So?
575
00:17:15,241 --> 00:17:16,673
I'm gonna tell you a story.
576
00:17:16,742 --> 00:17:18,742
I'm gonna tell you
the story of gunta.
577
00:17:18,811 --> 00:17:19,877
Yeah? Who's gunta?
578
00:17:19,945 --> 00:17:23,014
Gunta's my mom, all right?
579
00:17:23,082 --> 00:17:25,716
When I was a young boy, my
mother took me and my two older
580
00:17:25,785 --> 00:17:27,618
brothers out to see
the moscow circus.
581
00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:30,454
Now, there was an elephant in
the moscow circus called gunta.
582
00:17:30,523 --> 00:17:33,290
Now, the circus master used to
stand in front of gunta and go
583
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:34,124
"up, gunta! Up!"
584
00:17:34,193 --> 00:17:36,293
And the elephant used
to rise onto its legs.
585
00:17:36,362 --> 00:17:37,361
Great bloody show.
586
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:40,831
From that moment on, me and my
brothers referred to my mom as
587
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:41,398
gunta.
588
00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:44,902
Never to her face, but we'd start
sentences as "when's gunta"
589
00:17:44,971 --> 00:17:45,736
coming home?
590
00:17:45,805 --> 00:17:47,538
What's gunta making for dinner?
591
00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:48,472
Don't do that.
592
00:17:48,541 --> 00:17:49,807
"Gunta will catch you."
593
00:17:49,876 --> 00:17:51,642
One time, my mother
was in a chair.
594
00:17:51,711 --> 00:17:54,445
The movie we were watching is
"the blob," the old one with
595
00:17:54,514 --> 00:17:55,246
Steve McQueen.
596
00:17:55,315 --> 00:17:58,016
Now, you know the scene where
the blob's oozing out of the
597
00:17:58,084 --> 00:17:58,650
cinema?
598
00:17:58,718 --> 00:18:01,986
My brother turns to my mother
and goes, "that's you, mom."
599
00:18:02,055 --> 00:18:02,854
That's you."
600
00:18:02,922 --> 00:18:05,390
And me and my brother laugh like
it's the funniest thing that's
601
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,892
ever been said, because at the
time, there's a good chance it
602
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:08,226
was.
603
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,595
My mother looks over at my
brother and goes, "think you're"
604
00:18:10,663 --> 00:18:13,164
too old for a smack across the
head, you little bastard?!"
605
00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:16,067
And then she tries to get out of
her chair, but she's so fat and
606
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,770
so angry, she can't get any
purchase, so she's just rocking
607
00:18:18,839 --> 00:18:21,773
from side to side going,
"I hate you, kids."
608
00:18:21,842 --> 00:18:26,111
My brother knows that he has so
much time to run away that he
609
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:30,983
gets up, turns to me and winks,
and goes, "up, gunta! Up!"
610
00:18:31,052 --> 00:18:32,351
[Both laugh]
611
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:34,620
That's the story of gunta.
612
00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:37,023
It's a lot better on stage.
613
00:18:37,091 --> 00:18:38,524
Yo, man, that shit for real?
614
00:18:38,593 --> 00:18:39,892
Yeah, it's a true story.
615
00:18:39,961 --> 00:18:40,760
That's for real.
616
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:41,995
Your mom crazy, man.
617
00:18:42,063 --> 00:18:46,498
That's why I'm a
comedian, you see?
618
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,967
Because your mom's crazy,
that's why you're a comedian?
619
00:18:49,036 --> 00:18:50,536
That's why
anyone's a comedian.
620
00:18:50,604 --> 00:18:54,206
All the good comics have had some
type of tragic life to them.
621
00:18:54,275 --> 00:18:56,875
You know, you see this
situation here, right?
622
00:18:56,944 --> 00:18:58,510
This isn't your fault, Clay.
623
00:18:58,579 --> 00:19:00,679
That's... that's
out of your hands.
624
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:01,981
You got a few choices.
625
00:19:02,049 --> 00:19:05,351
You can get angry at this...
you can... and lash out at the
626
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:08,054
world, or you can
just laugh at it.
627
00:19:08,122 --> 00:19:13,092
You know, crying or laughing.
That's all you got.
628
00:19:13,161 --> 00:19:15,161
Why'd you bring us
out here, Clay?
629
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:16,596
Do you live around here?
630
00:19:16,664 --> 00:19:17,463
I used to.
631
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,565
I now live with Ramona.
632
00:19:19,634 --> 00:19:22,869
Why did Ramona take you?
633
00:19:22,938 --> 00:19:27,940
'Cause of this.
634
00:19:28,009 --> 00:19:28,341
Oh.
635
00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:31,377
It's a bullet wound
from a drive-by.
636
00:19:31,446 --> 00:19:33,012
I got you beat, man.
637
00:19:33,081 --> 00:19:34,747
See this?
638
00:19:34,816 --> 00:19:35,514
[Laughs]
639
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:37,416
I got that from
adrive-through.
640
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:38,183
[Laughs]
641
00:19:38,252 --> 00:19:39,618
A repeat offender.
642
00:19:39,687 --> 00:19:41,219
I got you both beat.
643
00:19:41,288 --> 00:19:43,922
Check this out.
644
00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:44,456
See it?
645
00:19:44,524 --> 00:19:45,890
No, I don't see nothing.
646
00:19:45,959 --> 00:19:48,660
It's a broken heart
from my bitch ex-wife.
647
00:19:48,728 --> 00:19:49,761
[Sighs]
648
00:19:49,829 --> 00:19:50,662
Mm-hmm.
649
00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:52,430
Clay, that wasn't
funny, either.
650
00:19:52,499 --> 00:19:54,266
No. Not at all.
651
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:57,969
Sometimes pain plus
pain equals Steve.
652
00:19:58,038 --> 00:20:00,272
[Laughs]
653
00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:05,911
So... it's lonely growing
up with a single mom.
654
00:20:05,979 --> 00:20:07,179
I'm really nervous.
655
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,580
But luckily my mom's a
656
00:20:08,649 --> 00:20:11,950
schizophrenic, so it's
like having nine of her.
657
00:20:12,118 --> 00:20:12,884
[Laughter]
658
00:20:12,953 --> 00:20:14,686
You know, my mom loves to argue.
659
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:18,724
She'll argue with just
about anybody or anything.
660
00:20:18,793 --> 00:20:21,293
Like, uh, invisible people that
661
00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:24,597
only she can see or a trash can.
662
00:20:24,666 --> 00:20:26,767
You would be surprised how long
663
00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:28,869
she can argue with a trash can.
664
00:20:28,938 --> 00:20:29,870
And she loses.
665
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,204
[Laughter]
666
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,640
I'm living with my aunt
Ramona right now, right?
667
00:20:33,709 --> 00:20:35,175
And she took me to this Russian
668
00:20:35,244 --> 00:20:36,710
circus the other day, and there
669
00:20:36,779 --> 00:20:39,546
was this big, fat-ass
elephant named gunta.
670
00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:41,081
"And I was thinking, like, " she
671
00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:42,516
kind of looks like my aunt.
672
00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:44,418
"I'm gonna start
calling her gunta."
673
00:20:44,487 --> 00:20:45,586
[Laughter]
674
00:20:45,655 --> 00:20:46,954
That's my bit.
675
00:20:47,023 --> 00:20:48,188
So, she's sitting in this
676
00:20:48,257 --> 00:20:49,523
chair, right, the other night.
677
00:20:49,592 --> 00:20:51,659
She's sitting down, and
she's trying to get up.
678
00:20:51,727 --> 00:20:53,694
But she weighs so much...
He stole my bit.
679
00:20:53,763 --> 00:20:55,129
"- ...that I'm like, " up, gunta!
680
00:20:55,198 --> 00:20:55,730
Up!"
681
00:20:55,798 --> 00:20:56,997
[Laughter]
682
00:20:57,066 --> 00:20:57,832
Right?
683
00:20:57,900 --> 00:20:59,533
I'm looking at her.
684
00:20:59,602 --> 00:21:03,003
I was just dying, and
she don't even know...
685
00:21:03,004 --> 00:21:12,984
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www.addic7ed.Com
686
00:21:13,034 --> 00:21:17,584
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