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1
00:00:02,897 --> 00:00:04,896
(children coughing)
2
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:15,429
Oh, Christ, does every single
one of these kids have the flu?
3
00:00:15,464 --> 00:00:16,197
Seems like it.
4
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:18,168
All right, now I bet you guys
are wondering what's going on
5
00:00:18,204 --> 00:00:20,203
- with this racing suit, huh?
- No, not even a little bit.
6
00:00:20,238 --> 00:00:21,672
You're like,
"What's that rascal Charlie up to?"
7
00:00:21,705 --> 00:00:23,705
"What's he up to this time?"
Right, right?
8
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:24,805
- I'm not thinking that at all.
- Yeah, yeah, well,
9
00:00:24,842 --> 00:00:26,973
it's an issue of aerodynamics, really.
10
00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:28,411
You see, every second counts
in the water park.
11
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,037
- Right.
- And we plan to ride
12
00:00:30,037 --> 00:00:31,376
- every single ride in there today.
- Yup.
13
00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:32,977
Yeah, the brochure says three days.
14
00:00:33,013 --> 00:00:33,979
We're saying bullshit to that.
15
00:00:34,013 --> 00:00:35,379
- We're gonna get it done in one.
- One day.
16
00:00:35,413 --> 00:00:37,112
All right, well, good luck
with that 'cause you got, like,
17
00:00:37,149 --> 00:00:38,783
ten minutes of clean water and
then every slide's basically
18
00:00:38,815 --> 00:00:40,148
a urine delivery system.
19
00:00:40,184 --> 00:00:41,382
- Yeah. - (laughs)
- MAC: We're not gonna get
20
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,816
- drenched in piss.
- No.
21
00:00:42,852 --> 00:00:44,452
We're gonna go in there,
find our favorite ride,
22
00:00:44,486 --> 00:00:45,986
- bomb down it once,
- Yeah.
23
00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:48,488
then sit by the pool the
rest of the day disease-free.
24
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,820
Don't kid yourself about the water,
buddy.
25
00:00:49,856 --> 00:00:50,821
You're not gonna be disease-free;
26
00:00:50,856 --> 00:00:51,954
this water's already infested
27
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:53,189
with every parasite on the planet.
28
00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:54,491
And I, for one, have no intention
29
00:00:54,526 --> 00:00:55,826
of stepping foot in any of it.
30
00:00:55,859 --> 00:00:57,359
So what do you come to a water park for?
31
00:00:57,394 --> 00:01:00,627
Hot food, cold beer,
bikini'd women seeking relief
32
00:01:00,663 --> 00:01:02,529
from the insufferable
prison of motherhood.
33
00:01:02,564 --> 00:01:04,030
Yeah, lot of pleasures to
be had at the park, Frank.
34
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,664
- None of which involve piss.
- Hmm.
35
00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:07,497
And it's all free, too,
if you know how to get it.
36
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,133
Well, it's not free,
you got to pay to get in.
37
00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:11,534
Not me, I had my bracelet
laminated in the '90s.
38
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,502
I haven't paid to get
in here since I was 14.
39
00:01:13,538 --> 00:01:14,940
- Nice!
- Nice, nice.
40
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,870
- Oh, smart.
- Oh, shush! Shush, shush, shush, shush,
41
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,372
- they're about to open!
- Why do we have to shush?
42
00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:19,907
Oh, guys! I almost forgot.
43
00:01:19,942 --> 00:01:21,708
Do not go near the pool drains,
44
00:01:21,741 --> 00:01:24,139
no matter how good you might
think they feel on your butt.
45
00:01:24,175 --> 00:01:25,742
- What? - Huh?
- What?
46
00:01:25,779 --> 00:01:27,212
You do not sit on those!
47
00:01:27,246 --> 00:01:28,845
You know, because of the suction
on your butthole?
48
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,413
- No one's thinking about that, man.
- (all disagreeing)
49
00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:31,712
No one's thinking about that at all.
50
00:01:31,748 --> 00:01:33,746
Oh, good, 'cause it is bad news.
51
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:35,847
Those things will suck the
intestines right out of you.
52
00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:38,216
Like it did to that one kid back in '96.
53
00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:39,819
Now, she had to chew
through her intestines
54
00:01:39,853 --> 00:01:41,318
- just to get free.
- CHARLIE: When I see the drain,
55
00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:42,720
I'm not gonna go try and sit on it.
56
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,086
- Oh, here we go.
- Okay, here we go! Here we go!
57
00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:45,886
We got to go! Get in there!
58
00:01:45,922 --> 00:01:47,656
- Go! Go! Go!
- Christ!
59
00:01:47,689 --> 00:01:49,689
60
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,970
Kiddie Twister
61
00:02:11,106 --> 00:02:13,125
Kiddie Twister
62
00:02:14,841 --> 00:02:17,083
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
63
00:02:17,206 --> 00:02:19,940
- Yeah, Kiddie Twister!
- I'm so excited.
64
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,172
- It's been, like, 20 years.
- What's that?
65
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,641
Uh, it's a urine tester.
66
00:02:23,675 --> 00:02:25,207
Just want to be 100% sure.
67
00:02:25,243 --> 00:02:27,642
It turns light red at the
slightest hint of piss.
68
00:02:27,677 --> 00:02:30,042
- And I think we're good.
- Let's roll.
69
00:02:30,078 --> 00:02:31,312
Hey, guys, guys, guys.
70
00:02:31,345 --> 00:02:32,619
Slide's for kids only.
71
00:02:32,975 --> 00:02:34,265
Size requirement.
72
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,722
Shut up, nerd!
73
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,277
- (laughs)
- (whoops)
74
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,388
Kiddie Twister!
75
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:40,893
(whoops)
76
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,526
Screw you, nerd!
77
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,525
You're gonna get hurt
78
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,127
Uh, come on, nerd.
79
00:02:45,161 --> 00:02:46,594
(laughs)
80
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,363
Whoo-hoo! Kiddie Twister!
81
00:02:48,398 --> 00:02:50,562
I don't give a shit.
82
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,466
MAC: Kiddie Twister!
83
00:02:52,499 --> 00:02:54,098
(whoops)
84
00:02:54,134 --> 00:02:56,434
Kiddie Twis... Oh, shit!
85
00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,768
- Kiddie Twister!
- Wait, Dee, no!
86
00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,636
- No, I'm stuck, wait!
- (Dee yells)
87
00:03:00,672 --> 00:03:02,737
BOTH: Ow!
88
00:03:02,774 --> 00:03:04,040
- Shit!
- (Dee yells)
89
00:03:04,073 --> 00:03:05,573
Ow! Ow, Dee, I'm stuck!
90
00:03:05,608 --> 00:03:06,974
Yeah, no shit!
91
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:08,707
- Dee, you got to move.
- Me move? You move.
92
00:03:08,743 --> 00:03:10,408
You're blocking me.
93
00:03:10,443 --> 00:03:12,708
Your stupid wrist band
got us all jammed up.
94
00:03:12,745 --> 00:03:14,379
- It's not just that.
- (grunting)
95
00:03:14,412 --> 00:03:17,079
The slide's too small,
the nerd was right.
96
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:18,946
Shit, what are we gonna do?
97
00:03:18,982 --> 00:03:21,080
Uh... okay. Just remain calm, all right?
98
00:03:21,116 --> 00:03:22,816
Do not panic,
that's the worst thing you can do.
99
00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:24,651
Okay, but we got to get unstuck
before they send another kid
100
00:03:24,686 --> 00:03:26,485
because... oh, God,
101
00:03:26,519 --> 00:03:28,485
some big, fat kid's just gonna
come blasting down on us.
102
00:03:28,521 --> 00:03:31,422
- MAC: You're gonna be fine. Trust me.
- (thud, both yell)
103
00:03:31,455 --> 00:03:33,288
- Shit!
- Goddamn it!
104
00:03:33,324 --> 00:03:34,625
Jesus Christ!
105
00:03:36,025 --> 00:03:37,258
FRANK: This is slow, Charlie.
106
00:03:37,293 --> 00:03:38,793
I'm never gonna get through this crap.
107
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:41,014
We should've gone down
the first slide we saw.
108
00:03:41,014 --> 00:03:43,405
I know, I know, but we needed
to start at the northmost point
109
00:03:43,405 --> 00:03:44,152
- of the park, right?
- (groans)
110
00:03:44,152 --> 00:03:45,169
- Then we work our way south,
- Yeah.
111
00:03:45,169 --> 00:03:46,610
and that cuts back on the excess
112
00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:48,618
- running back and forth.
- Oh, yeah.
113
00:03:48,618 --> 00:03:50,101
You know, that said,
I'm sorry I got us so lost.
114
00:03:50,101 --> 00:03:52,800
I can't ever tell which
way is north on a map.
115
00:03:52,834 --> 00:03:54,401
It's at the top.
116
00:03:54,437 --> 00:03:56,803
- I thought north was, like, up.
- "Up"?
117
00:03:56,839 --> 00:03:58,904
Yeah, like if I turn the map this way,
now where is north?
118
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,572
- Still at the top of the... no.
- Down?
119
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,972
- Now, come on, Charlie, this is ridiculous.
- It's confusing, right?
120
00:04:03,008 --> 00:04:04,408
We got to get going here.
121
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:06,342
- I know, goddamn it.
- Where's he going?
122
00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:08,411
- Coming through. Excuse us.
- What, what?
123
00:04:08,443 --> 00:04:09,943
How come he can cut to the front?
124
00:04:09,979 --> 00:04:11,612
Oh, Ethan is here with a special program
125
00:04:11,648 --> 00:04:12,948
for children with leukemia,
126
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:15,412
so he skips to the front of the line.
127
00:04:15,448 --> 00:04:17,246
Thank you! Coming through.
128
00:04:18,951 --> 00:04:20,684
FRANK: AIDS!
129
00:04:20,717 --> 00:04:22,782
AIDS, I got AIDS.
I got AIDS, we're coming through.
130
00:04:22,819 --> 00:04:24,917
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.
- Cutting through.
131
00:04:24,955 --> 00:04:26,319
I'm his doctor, my patient's got to get
132
00:04:26,319 --> 00:04:27,439
- to the front of the line
- Yeah.
133
00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:28,854
- Because he has AIDS.
- I got the AIDS.
134
00:04:28,890 --> 00:04:30,922
He got it from a gay guy in the '80s.
135
00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:32,157
- I'm not gay, I didn't... but...
- Well...
136
00:04:32,193 --> 00:04:33,758
There's two kind of AIDS...
137
00:04:33,792 --> 00:04:35,792
there's the vagina AIDS and
then the needle-based AIDS.
138
00:04:35,828 --> 00:04:37,694
I-I'm a vagina guy.
139
00:04:37,729 --> 00:04:39,761
- Well, no, actually my test results show
- I got... sorry, I'm... AIDS.
140
00:04:39,797 --> 00:04:40,996
that it was the gay AIDS.
141
00:04:41,032 --> 00:04:42,332
- All AIDS are bad.
- Well...
142
00:04:42,364 --> 00:04:43,597
That's... no good AIDS.
143
00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:45,265
But I'm telling you, like I said,
144
00:04:45,299 --> 00:04:46,765
this is not the gay AIDS.
145
00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:48,699
(indistinct chatter, splashing)
146
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,338
Lie back down.
147
00:05:05,044 --> 00:05:07,342
One of these little stinkers yours?
148
00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:08,612
My son.
149
00:05:08,647 --> 00:05:09,845
This one here?
150
00:05:09,879 --> 00:05:11,213
- WOMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah,
151
00:05:11,248 --> 00:05:12,515
- he's adorable.
- (chuckling)
152
00:05:12,549 --> 00:05:13,513
You?
153
00:05:13,549 --> 00:05:15,515
Oh, daughter, yeah.
154
00:05:15,552 --> 00:05:17,650
I try to take her to
fun places like this.
155
00:05:17,686 --> 00:05:19,319
Let a little sunshine back into her life
156
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:21,018
ever since her mom...
157
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,955
Oh, my God. Did she...
158
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,824
Die horrifically?
159
00:05:26,857 --> 00:05:28,156
Yeah.
160
00:05:28,191 --> 00:05:29,791
Drowning. Kind of ironic,
161
00:05:29,826 --> 00:05:30,958
us being at a water park,
162
00:05:30,992 --> 00:05:32,626
but, you know, you got to...
163
00:05:32,662 --> 00:05:34,494
you got to roll with the punches,
you know?
164
00:05:34,527 --> 00:05:36,128
Got to get back out
there and live life...
165
00:05:36,164 --> 00:05:38,463
Daddy, Daddy, can I borrow $20?
166
00:05:38,499 --> 00:05:39,696
What?
167
00:05:39,732 --> 00:05:41,665
Oh, hi there, what's your name?
168
00:05:41,698 --> 00:05:42,898
Abby.
169
00:05:42,934 --> 00:05:44,166
I'm hungry, Daddy.
170
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,000
Can I please have $20?
171
00:05:47,604 --> 00:05:49,137
Well, I think you can get
something to eat
172
00:05:49,169 --> 00:05:50,869
for a lot less than that, hon.
173
00:05:50,905 --> 00:05:52,205
Dad!
174
00:05:52,241 --> 00:05:53,707
I'm hungry, I'm starving,
175
00:05:53,739 --> 00:05:55,838
and you haven't given me any money.
176
00:05:56,777 --> 00:05:59,209
(sighs) Yeah.
177
00:05:59,244 --> 00:06:00,477
What the hell?
178
00:06:00,511 --> 00:06:01,677
(chuckles)
179
00:06:01,713 --> 00:06:04,044
Anything for my little...
180
00:06:04,078 --> 00:06:05,446
- Abby.
- (chuckles)
181
00:06:10,585 --> 00:06:12,584
Interesting.
182
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,986
What's interesting?
183
00:06:16,018 --> 00:06:17,652
Nothing.
184
00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:18,886
I'm done with you.
185
00:06:18,922 --> 00:06:20,189
Keep up.
186
00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:26,548
- Aah! Jesus.
- You'd think all the pressure
187
00:06:26,548 --> 00:06:27,577
would blast us through.
188
00:06:27,613 --> 00:06:30,045
No, it's just squeezing
me further into the stuck!
189
00:06:30,081 --> 00:06:31,547
Okay, well, get-get the bracelet off.
190
00:06:31,579 --> 00:06:33,378
- Just rip it off.
- Dee, I'm trying.
191
00:06:33,413 --> 00:06:35,214
I can't get any actual leverage on it.
192
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:36,482
Besides, it's triple-laminated.
193
00:06:36,516 --> 00:06:37,816
- It's not just gonna rip.
- Oh, no.
194
00:06:37,851 --> 00:06:39,218
- I think someone peed.
- What?!
195
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:40,483
Sherman, did you pee?
196
00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:42,217
- No.
- Sherman, my vial
197
00:06:42,254 --> 00:06:43,653
- is turning light pink.
- MAC: Ugh...
198
00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:46,187
goddamn it, Sherman,
I ordered you not to pee!
199
00:06:46,221 --> 00:06:48,154
- Sorry!
- Oh, disgusting!
200
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,489
Sorry's not gonna cut it, Sherman,
201
00:06:49,524 --> 00:06:50,924
- it's not gonna cut it.
- Nobody else pee!
202
00:06:50,959 --> 00:06:52,192
Ah, the sun's just blasting me
203
00:06:52,226 --> 00:06:53,425
right in the face.
204
00:06:53,461 --> 00:06:54,827
Why does it have to be right there?
205
00:06:54,860 --> 00:06:56,860
Dee, if God put the sun there,
206
00:06:56,896 --> 00:06:58,430
there's probably a reason, okay?
207
00:06:58,463 --> 00:06:59,929
Don't question him; we need God!
208
00:06:59,964 --> 00:07:01,930
God didn't put the sun anywhere.
209
00:07:01,966 --> 00:07:04,567
The sun stays still;
the Earth moves around it.
210
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,033
(all scream)
211
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:07,500
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Okay. All right.
212
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:09,533
We gotta get these kids out of here.
213
00:07:09,569 --> 00:07:11,502
All right. I'm going for it.
I'm just pulling on one of 'em.
214
00:07:11,538 --> 00:07:14,605
Come on. Ah, this friggin'
dome's like a magnifying glass.
215
00:07:14,639 --> 00:07:15,906
(groaning)
216
00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:17,706
MAC: Get him through, I can get him.
217
00:07:17,742 --> 00:07:19,342
(Mac grunts)
218
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:21,439
- DEE: Get help.
- Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
219
00:07:21,478 --> 00:07:23,444
Kid, kid, kid, listen. Come here.
220
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,109
Before you go,
221
00:07:25,146 --> 00:07:27,411
no matter how alluring it is,
222
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,247
do not put your genitals
or your butthole
223
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:30,781
near the pool drain. You got it?
224
00:07:30,814 --> 00:07:32,414
- In fact, cover your butthole.
- DEE: Okay, go.
225
00:07:32,449 --> 00:07:34,415
- Okay, kid. Go, kid, go!
- Come on. Go.
226
00:07:34,449 --> 00:07:35,682
Cover that butthole, kid!
227
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:37,351
Mac. Stop talking to children
228
00:07:37,387 --> 00:07:38,584
about their buttholes, okay?
229
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:39,786
- It's not appropriate.
- Okay.
230
00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:41,120
Okay.
231
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,555
Uh, I think we gotta get
another kid out.
232
00:07:42,589 --> 00:07:43,855
You know what?
233
00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:45,522
What about this one?
234
00:07:45,555 --> 00:07:47,055
That kid looks passed out, Dee.
235
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,558
Yeah, he's out cold, but I think
236
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,127
I can maneuver his body pretty easily.
237
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,026
Yeah, but if we send him down there,
he might drown.
238
00:07:52,062 --> 00:07:54,896
Guys, I gotta take a poop.
239
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:57,663
(Mac and Dee grunt)
240
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,268
241
00:08:09,471 --> 00:08:11,137
- MAN: I see you stealing.
- ABBY: I wasn't stealing them!
242
00:08:11,173 --> 00:08:12,573
I just forgot I was wearing them!
243
00:08:12,606 --> 00:08:14,106
Let go of me!
244
00:08:14,141 --> 00:08:15,439
My dad's a cop!
245
00:08:15,475 --> 00:08:18,143
Abigail! What is going on in here?
246
00:08:18,176 --> 00:08:19,875
Where have you been?
I've been worried sick about you.
247
00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:21,443
- This your daughter?
- Yes.
248
00:08:21,478 --> 00:08:23,045
Officer Dennis Reynolds.
249
00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:24,445
Hi. Off-duty, of course.
250
00:08:24,479 --> 00:08:26,312
This is your jurisdiction.
251
00:08:26,348 --> 00:08:27,748
- Look, I caught her stealing sunglasses.
- Yeah?
252
00:08:27,784 --> 00:08:29,616
- No, I didn't! I was just...
- Abigail,
253
00:08:29,648 --> 00:08:31,315
I gave you $20 to buy
whatever you wanted.
254
00:08:31,352 --> 00:08:32,619
What happened to that?
Do you still have it?
255
00:08:34,618 --> 00:08:36,151
Yes.
256
00:08:36,188 --> 00:08:38,287
Well, then you need to
pay for these sunglasses.
257
00:08:40,756 --> 00:08:41,954
Actually, no. You know what?
258
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,455
On second thought, no.
259
00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:45,157
You don't get the sunglasses.
260
00:08:45,193 --> 00:08:47,425
- You need to be taught a lesson.
- I think that she gets...
261
00:08:47,462 --> 00:08:49,062
I really appreciate
everything that you do.
262
00:08:49,094 --> 00:08:51,393
Real police officer to security guard,
263
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,063
honestly,
I want to thank you for everything.
264
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,929
- Thanks.
- This little girl,
265
00:08:54,964 --> 00:08:56,264
she's gonna be grounded for a month.
266
00:08:56,299 --> 00:08:57,799
Come on, Abigail, let's go.
267
00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,800
Try to touch me, and I'll scream "rape."
268
00:09:00,835 --> 00:09:02,168
Please.
269
00:09:02,204 --> 00:09:03,503
I see the road you're headed down:
270
00:09:03,537 --> 00:09:04,970
the lying, the stealing, all of it.
271
00:09:05,005 --> 00:09:06,238
And as somebody who's
been down that road,
272
00:09:06,271 --> 00:09:07,504
let me tell you something:
273
00:09:08,496 --> 00:09:09,738
you've got real talent.
274
00:09:09,773 --> 00:09:11,173
Okay...
275
00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:12,641
Mmm.
276
00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:13,907
That ought to work.
277
00:09:13,941 --> 00:09:15,174
What are you doing?
278
00:09:15,209 --> 00:09:16,609
Oh, it's a simple lunch play.
279
00:09:16,646 --> 00:09:18,279
I tell the burger stand
280
00:09:18,311 --> 00:09:20,010
some hyperactive brat knocked
my food on the ground,
281
00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:21,512
they replace it, no questions asked.
282
00:09:21,546 --> 00:09:23,180
I usually just swipe a burger
283
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,180
off some dumb-ass family
while they're not looking.
284
00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:26,848
Well, that begs the question, Abigail:
285
00:09:26,883 --> 00:09:29,518
you want to be a thief or
do you want to be an artist?
286
00:09:29,553 --> 00:09:31,186
You see, an artist takes whatever
287
00:09:31,218 --> 00:09:33,651
he wants when somebody's
looking right at him.
288
00:09:38,357 --> 00:09:39,856
- These are too small for me.
- Yeah.
289
00:09:39,891 --> 00:09:42,757
- You get the point.
- Yeah.
290
00:09:42,794 --> 00:09:44,992
-
Here comes the hot stepper
-
Murderer
291
00:09:45,029 --> 00:09:47,161
-
I'm the lyrical gangster
-
Murderer
292
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,627
-
Pick up the crew in-a de area
-
Murderer
293
00:09:49,664 --> 00:09:51,664
-
Still love you like that
-
Murderer
294
00:09:52,965 --> 00:09:55,031
No, no, we don't die
295
00:09:55,068 --> 00:09:57,199
Yes, we multiply
296
00:09:57,236 --> 00:09:59,202
- I got AIDS, AIDS.
- AIDS! Guy with AIDS, coming through.
297
00:09:59,236 --> 00:10:01,269
AIDS, coming through. AIDS, AIDS...
298
00:10:01,305 --> 00:10:02,527
- AIDS!
- Hey, man, go through.
299
00:10:02,527 --> 00:10:03,339
Hey, go for it, go, go, go!
300
00:10:03,373 --> 00:10:05,007
No, you need a raft! You need a raft!
301
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,105
- (whooping)
-
I know what Bo don't know
302
00:10:07,141 --> 00:10:10,008
Touch them up and go, uh-oh
303
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:11,841
Ch-Ch-Chang-chang
304
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:13,042
-
Here comes the hot stepper
-
Murderer
305
00:10:13,076 --> 00:10:14,041
I'm the lyrical gangster...
306
00:10:14,078 --> 00:10:16,444
(both shouting excitedly)
307
00:10:16,479 --> 00:10:18,711
-
Excuse me, Mr. Officer
-
Murderer
308
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,281
-
Still love you like that
-
Murderer
309
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,214
- Ah! Ah!
- Ow!
310
00:10:22,249 --> 00:10:23,549
-
Extraordinary
- Go.
311
00:10:23,584 --> 00:10:26,617
-
Juice like a strawberry
- Go.
312
00:10:26,652 --> 00:10:28,552
- My camera!
- Oh, great, your camera.
313
00:10:28,588 --> 00:10:29,954
I was really worried about that.
314
00:10:29,987 --> 00:10:31,653
This is my watch.
315
00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:35,623
Cut to fade is me,
fade to cut is she
316
00:10:35,657 --> 00:10:39,692
Come juggle with me,
I say every time
317
00:10:39,725 --> 00:10:41,990
-
Here comes the hot stepper
-
Murderer
318
00:10:42,027 --> 00:10:44,194
- Go.
- (screams)
319
00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:46,061
- Go.
- (screams)
320
00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:48,529
- My sunglasses.
- Oh, all of our chains!
321
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,731
You know how hard it is
to get all of our chains.
322
00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:50,731
- AIDS...
- AIDS, AIDS!
323
00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:52,199
Na, na-na-na-na
324
00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:54,165
Na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
325
00:10:54,201 --> 00:10:56,134
Na-na-na-na
326
00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:57,470
KID: Ow!
327
00:10:57,506 --> 00:10:59,904
Stop sending kids, nerd!
328
00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:02,071
- You goddamn nerd!
- Go.
329
00:11:02,106 --> 00:11:03,740
- We're making good time.
- We're doin' it, Charlie.
330
00:11:03,776 --> 00:11:05,309
We're pretty much...
we're pretty much caught up.
331
00:11:05,343 --> 00:11:08,010
Whoa, hey, hey, guys!
332
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,975
What are you guys doing?
You guys doing a AIDS thing?
333
00:11:10,012 --> 00:11:11,210
- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah.
334
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:12,545
I gave Frank a couple hickeys
335
00:11:12,579 --> 00:11:14,012
- to sell the lesions.
- Sucked on 'em.
336
00:11:14,045 --> 00:11:15,479
Yeah, yeah.
337
00:11:15,515 --> 00:11:16,881
You doing a fake daughter thing?
338
00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:19,248
- Yeah.
- Cool. All right, man, see ya.
339
00:11:19,282 --> 00:11:21,048
- See ya.
- (starts fake crying)
340
00:11:21,084 --> 00:11:23,483
-
I'm the lyrical gangster
-
Murderer
341
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,486
-
Excuse me, Mr. Officer
-
Murderer
342
00:11:25,521 --> 00:11:29,256
-
Still love you like that
-
Murderer
343
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:30,523
(thud, screaming)
344
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:37,161
Act like you know, G go
345
00:11:37,194 --> 00:11:39,228
I know what Bo don't know
346
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,428
Touch them up and go, uh-oh
347
00:11:41,464 --> 00:11:44,233
Three, two, one, go!
348
00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:46,834
(whooping)
349
00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:48,733
I got AIDS!
350
00:11:48,766 --> 00:11:49,866
(whooping)
351
00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:53,769
Yeah! (whooping)
352
00:11:58,348 --> 00:11:59,914
- Frank, we did it, man!
- Charlie!
353
00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:01,249
- With time to spare!
- Charlie! We...
354
00:12:01,282 --> 00:12:03,580
- Every single ride in here!
- We won!
355
00:12:03,618 --> 00:12:04,984
CHARLIE: Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
356
00:12:05,018 --> 00:12:06,150
Hey! Suck on that, river rat!
357
00:12:06,186 --> 00:12:07,418
- Every ride!
- (laughs)
358
00:12:07,454 --> 00:12:09,552
(both laughing)
359
00:12:09,589 --> 00:12:10,787
- We did it.
- Oh, shit.
360
00:12:10,822 --> 00:12:12,855
Frank. Look at this!
361
00:12:15,358 --> 00:12:16,891
- Oh.
- Oh...
362
00:12:16,927 --> 00:12:18,427
What... what is that?
363
00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:20,258
I don't know.
364
00:12:20,293 --> 00:12:21,927
I mean, that-that's not on the map...
what ride is that?
365
00:12:21,962 --> 00:12:23,094
Excuse me?
366
00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:24,261
- Excuse me, ma'am?
- Yeah?
367
00:12:24,297 --> 00:12:25,663
What is this ride over here?
368
00:12:25,697 --> 00:12:26,730
Oh, that's our new slide.
369
00:12:26,765 --> 00:12:28,131
It's, uh, Thunder Gun Express.
370
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:29,465
We just finished construction.
371
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,966
It'll be open in a few weeks.
372
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:31,965
- A Thunder Gun ride?
- Yeah.
373
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,133
Like the movie?
374
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:34,667
Yeah, but there's no water
or anything yet,
375
00:12:34,702 --> 00:12:36,169
- so we still have to test it.
- Oh, yeah.
376
00:12:36,202 --> 00:12:37,635
It's totally dry.
377
00:12:37,672 --> 00:12:39,004
- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's not, it's not...
378
00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:41,137
no, but it's not, it's,
it's not open yet.
379
00:12:41,172 --> 00:12:42,471
It's Thunder Gun, man. No hesitation.
380
00:12:42,507 --> 00:12:44,306
- No, no, no.
- No surrender. No man left behind.
381
00:12:44,341 --> 00:12:45,841
We got to get to the top of that slide.
382
00:12:45,874 --> 00:12:48,408
And raw-dog the shit out of it!
383
00:12:48,442 --> 00:12:49,942
(indistinct chatter)
384
00:12:49,979 --> 00:12:50,978
(huffs)
385
00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:52,177
- Mac?
- Yeah?
386
00:12:52,212 --> 00:12:53,845
My vial is blood red.
387
00:12:53,882 --> 00:12:55,482
That's because the water's not
even running through anymore.
388
00:12:55,514 --> 00:12:56,981
It's just pooling up.
389
00:12:57,015 --> 00:12:58,581
- Well, I got to tell you something, though, I...
- Huh?
390
00:12:58,618 --> 00:13:00,584
I don't know if I'm gonna be
able to hold it much longer.
391
00:13:00,616 --> 00:13:02,482
- What?!
- I-I've been in here for so long, I-I...
392
00:13:02,519 --> 00:13:04,318
Don't you do it, Dee! Don't you do it!
393
00:13:04,353 --> 00:13:05,653
The problem is it's already happening.
394
00:13:05,686 --> 00:13:07,119
I'm peeing on your shoulder right now.
395
00:13:07,156 --> 00:13:09,089
- But I don't mean to, I'm sorry.
- (groaning)
396
00:13:09,123 --> 00:13:10,121
- It's warm.
- You bitch!
397
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,657
When we get out of here,
I'm gonna kill you!
398
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,324
What am I supposed to do?
How are you even holding your pee?
399
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:14,792
We've been stuck in here forever!
400
00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:16,427
Oh, I peed as soon
as we got in the slide.
401
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:17,500
- Me, too.
- What?!
402
00:13:17,501 --> 00:13:18,301
(laughter)
403
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:19,629
- Ew!
- What?!
404
00:13:19,662 --> 00:13:20,962
These animals are, they're laughing!
405
00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:22,162
Of course they are!
406
00:13:22,197 --> 00:13:23,664
I think they're actually
enjoying this shit!
407
00:13:23,699 --> 00:13:24,830
Oh, they love every second of it!
408
00:13:24,865 --> 00:13:26,030
- They're just pissing all over us!
- Goddamn it.
409
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,499
We're gonna die in here with them!
410
00:13:28,534 --> 00:13:30,101
Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Dee.
411
00:13:30,134 --> 00:13:32,167
- I've got an idea!
- What?
412
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:33,669
If we can get Sherman's mouth
413
00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:35,802
to this bracelet,
we can get out of here.
414
00:13:35,839 --> 00:13:36,804
You said you couldn't rip through it.
415
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:37,805
No, I can't.
416
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,706
But Sherman can chew through it!
417
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:41,706
Like the girl in the pool drain
418
00:13:41,743 --> 00:13:43,941
when she got her anus stuck,
she chewed through
419
00:13:43,978 --> 00:13:47,045
her prolapsed anus and
chewed herself to freedom.
420
00:13:47,079 --> 00:13:48,712
- What are you talking about?!
- Sherman!
421
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,511
Get your mouth to this
bracelet and chew!
422
00:13:50,547 --> 00:13:51,645
Aw, screw it. Try it.
423
00:13:51,681 --> 00:13:52,948
Chew like you've never chewed before.
424
00:13:52,983 --> 00:13:54,383
Go, Sherman, chew!
425
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,816
(indistinct chatter)
426
00:13:58,753 --> 00:13:59,752
Whoa!
427
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:02,852
Whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
428
00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:04,355
I got some boy to give me this.
429
00:14:04,388 --> 00:14:06,888
I said I'd kiss him if he
met me in the parking lot.
430
00:14:06,922 --> 00:14:09,556
Then I swiped his wristband,
so he can't get back in.
431
00:14:09,590 --> 00:14:10,656
(laughs) Nice.
432
00:14:10,691 --> 00:14:12,557
Thanks. Well, I got to roll.
433
00:14:12,594 --> 00:14:14,128
What do you mean? Where you going?
434
00:14:14,161 --> 00:14:15,560
We're just getting started.
435
00:14:15,595 --> 00:14:18,028
Yeah, but my mom said
it's time to leave.
436
00:14:18,063 --> 00:14:20,361
DENNIS: Wow.
437
00:14:20,398 --> 00:14:22,662
That's a disappointing
glimpse into your future.
438
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:23,799
Now, why don't you tell your mom
439
00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,066
you want to stick around
for a little while?
440
00:14:25,101 --> 00:14:26,133
That won't work.
441
00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:27,734
She never listens to me.
442
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:29,834
Oh, now, see, no. That bothers me.
443
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,871
A genius whose fate is
controlled by an idiot?
444
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,338
You think I'm a genius?
445
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,907
Yes! Yes, I think you're a genius.
446
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,242
Are you kidding me?
447
00:14:38,276 --> 00:14:39,842
When I was your age,
I couldn't have accomplished
448
00:14:39,877 --> 00:14:41,344
half the things you did today.
449
00:14:41,377 --> 00:14:43,010
See, this is why the
Chinese are destroying us.
450
00:14:43,046 --> 00:14:44,345
If you were born in China,
451
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,014
you'd be the head of
some factory by now.
452
00:14:47,114 --> 00:14:48,880
Or they would've thrown you in a river,
453
00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:50,517
'cause you weren't a boy.
454
00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:51,983
All right, it's not a great analogy,
455
00:14:52,018 --> 00:14:53,250
but you get my point.
456
00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:54,517
A-Abby...
457
00:14:54,552 --> 00:14:56,251
you deserve better.
458
00:14:56,287 --> 00:14:59,355
Here, I... I want you to have it.
459
00:14:59,388 --> 00:15:00,654
No, what do you mean? You earned that.
460
00:15:00,688 --> 00:15:02,055
No, please, take it.
461
00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:04,691
So you never forget me.
462
00:15:06,725 --> 00:15:08,525
Thanks, Dennis.
463
00:15:08,561 --> 00:15:11,796
For being the first adult to
actually give a shit about me.
464
00:15:17,731 --> 00:15:18,898
DENNIS: You!
465
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,533
Yes?
466
00:15:20,566 --> 00:15:21,697
We need to have a conversation.
467
00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:22,865
Your daughter is a special kid.
468
00:15:22,901 --> 00:15:25,436
A gifted child who should be treasured.
469
00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:27,701
If she were born in China, she...
470
00:15:27,738 --> 00:15:29,504
Wait, I already did that.
471
00:15:29,539 --> 00:15:30,538
Didn't work.
472
00:15:30,572 --> 00:15:32,337
If she were born in...
473
00:15:32,374 --> 00:15:34,540
What country treasures their women?
474
00:15:34,576 --> 00:15:36,841
- What are you talking about?
- What am I talking about?
475
00:15:36,878 --> 00:15:38,877
Mom, can I have a slushy?
476
00:15:38,911 --> 00:15:40,344
Yes, in just a minute.
477
00:15:40,378 --> 00:15:41,576
Is that Abby's brother?
478
00:15:41,613 --> 00:15:42,710
I don't have a daughter.
479
00:15:42,745 --> 00:15:44,047
Yes, you do. The girl that was just...
480
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:49,481
ABBY: Please take it.
481
00:15:52,153 --> 00:15:53,851
So you never forget me.
482
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:57,320
DENNIS: See, an artist
takes whatever he wants...
483
00:15:58,556 --> 00:15:59,655
...when somebody's looking right at him.
484
00:16:05,893 --> 00:16:07,759
What is wrong with you? Why are you...?
485
00:16:07,797 --> 00:16:09,230
(shushing)
486
00:16:12,398 --> 00:16:14,831
(quietly): Huh.
487
00:16:15,999 --> 00:16:17,932
(Charlie whistles)
488
00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:19,701
How would you even describe
something like that?
489
00:16:19,736 --> 00:16:21,136
It's so beautiful.
490
00:16:21,171 --> 00:16:22,970
They should've sent a poet.
491
00:16:23,004 --> 00:16:25,103
- All right, let's go, let's go.
- Okay.
492
00:16:25,139 --> 00:16:26,270
- All right, all right.
- Okay.
493
00:16:26,306 --> 00:16:28,907
- Here we go.
- (laughing)
494
00:16:28,941 --> 00:16:30,139
Oh, oh.
495
00:16:30,176 --> 00:16:31,576
All right.
496
00:16:31,609 --> 00:16:32,773
This should be good, right?
497
00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:33,808
Oh, that's great.
498
00:16:33,844 --> 00:16:34,943
- That'll do it.
- Oh!
499
00:16:34,979 --> 00:16:36,278
Who's going first?
500
00:16:36,311 --> 00:16:38,779
Well, it should be you, right?
501
00:16:38,813 --> 00:16:40,146
I mean, you pulled off the AIDS thing.
502
00:16:40,181 --> 00:16:42,147
Oh, Charlie! Charlie!
503
00:16:42,183 --> 00:16:43,249
All right!
504
00:16:43,284 --> 00:16:44,382
Let's go before we get caught.
505
00:16:44,418 --> 00:16:45,383
Let's go before we get busted, okay?
506
00:16:45,416 --> 00:16:46,381
- All right, here we go.
- All right.
507
00:16:46,416 --> 00:16:47,783
- All right.
- Ready, Frankie!
508
00:16:47,818 --> 00:16:49,550
- I won't let you down!
- All right!
509
00:16:49,586 --> 00:16:51,818
- I like the spirit here.
- Oh!
510
00:16:51,855 --> 00:16:54,055
- (squeaking)
- Oh, it burns! It burns! It burns! It burns!
511
00:16:54,091 --> 00:16:55,890
Aah!
512
00:16:55,923 --> 00:16:58,022
(shouting)
513
00:17:01,461 --> 00:17:02,626
(shouts)
514
00:17:02,662 --> 00:17:04,229
My back!
515
00:17:04,264 --> 00:17:05,329
That guy has AIDS!
516
00:17:05,364 --> 00:17:07,461
Aah! Aah, my back!
517
00:17:07,497 --> 00:17:08,997
(crowd clamoring)
518
00:17:09,033 --> 00:17:11,567
AIDS! Everybody out.
519
00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:13,068
Aah! Aah!
520
00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:14,999
- (Frank grunting)
- (crowd clamoring)
521
00:17:20,605 --> 00:17:21,569
We're free!
522
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:22,570
Oh, my God!
523
00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:23,571
Ah, we're free!
524
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:24,840
My God!
525
00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:26,174
Is that blood?
526
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:27,675
There's AIDS blood in the pool!
527
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:29,008
That's goddamn AIDS blood?!
528
00:17:29,044 --> 00:17:30,576
(crowd screaming)
529
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:32,443
Has anyone seen my son?
530
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:33,746
Goddamn it!
531
00:17:33,779 --> 00:17:36,248
I hate this goddamn water park!
532
00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:38,680
(dramatic music playing)
533
00:17:55,746 --> 00:17:57,746
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
534
00:17:57,796 --> 00:18:02,346
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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