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1
00:00:00,581 --> 00:00:02,383
Saturday she's got a recital at noon.
2
00:00:02,417 --> 00:00:04,787
Well, it might be hard to get
to your parents by four.
3
00:00:04,819 --> 00:00:06,020
- Hmm.
- Mommy?
4
00:00:06,054 --> 00:00:07,055
Yeah, lovey?
5
00:00:07,089 --> 00:00:09,058
I forget... did you say babies
6
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:13,261
come out of your tushie or your vagina?
7
00:00:13,295 --> 00:00:15,731
Vagina... why?
8
00:00:15,764 --> 00:00:19,734
- Well, my vagina hole is so small.
- Yeah.
9
00:00:19,767 --> 00:00:22,637
How could a baby even come out of there?
10
00:00:22,670 --> 00:00:25,273
Well, that is a very good question,
11
00:00:25,307 --> 00:00:27,075
something that you do not
need to worry about
12
00:00:27,109 --> 00:00:29,144
for a super, super, super long time.
13
00:00:29,176 --> 00:00:32,747
But your body, it's magical,
14
00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:35,616
and when there is a baby
in there and it's all grown
15
00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:37,085
and ready to come out,
16
00:00:37,118 --> 00:00:40,322
your body knows to make your vagina hole
17
00:00:40,355 --> 00:00:43,459
get really, really, really big,
18
00:00:43,492 --> 00:00:46,929
and then the baby can just shoot out!
19
00:00:46,962 --> 00:00:48,296
Isn't that cool?
20
00:00:51,266 --> 00:00:53,936
- I think we can make Saturday work.
- Yeah, we can make Saturday work.
21
00:00:53,969 --> 00:00:58,073
So, you have a huge vagina?
22
00:00:58,105 --> 00:01:00,074
No, no, oh, no, no, no.
23
00:01:00,108 --> 00:01:01,176
No, it, it...
24
00:01:01,209 --> 00:01:05,817
It, it, like, snaps back into place.
25
00:01:06,981 --> 00:01:10,786
I mean, it's enough
back into place for me.
26
00:01:10,819 --> 00:01:12,954
There's no complaining from this guy.
27
00:01:12,987 --> 00:01:16,181
Kind of like a cork
being put back in a bottle.
28
00:01:17,659 --> 00:01:19,127
Almost too small.
29
00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:21,329
30
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:26,331
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
31
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:34,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
32
00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:40,683
Well, it's not malignant, but
I'm still glad they took it out.
33
00:01:40,716 --> 00:01:42,951
My granddaughter had
her bat mitzvah last weekend.
34
00:01:42,983 --> 00:01:44,652
I mean, look, isn't she gorgeous?
35
00:01:44,686 --> 00:01:46,955
How are you on match.com?
36
00:01:46,987 --> 00:01:49,323
Tell me how it is after
going through menopause.
37
00:01:49,356 --> 00:01:53,228
Okay, ladies, let's go,
we're starting with the cha-cha.
38
00:01:53,862 --> 00:01:55,564
Cha-cha, one, two, three.
39
00:01:55,596 --> 00:01:57,298
Cha-cha, one, two, three.
40
00:01:57,332 --> 00:01:59,201
One, two, three, cha-cha,
41
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:01,035
one, two, three.
42
00:02:01,069 --> 00:02:03,706
[birds chirping]
43
00:02:06,047 --> 00:02:07,508
Okay, very good.
44
00:02:15,617 --> 00:02:17,786
[beep, rumbling]
45
00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:22,691
I'm sorry, it's just
summer in the valley.
46
00:02:22,724 --> 00:02:24,827
Why don't you go yourself?
47
00:02:24,859 --> 00:02:26,928
Uh, uh...
48
00:02:26,962 --> 00:02:29,998
I just, um, if it's hitting you
too strong... I know this, like,
49
00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:33,000
shoots out... maybe you can stand
further down, like on the other side.
50
00:02:33,062 --> 00:02:34,364
Don't tell me where to stand.
51
00:02:34,396 --> 00:02:36,999
I've been coming to
this class for eight years.
52
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,903
Okay, um, well, it's really hot
53
00:02:39,936 --> 00:02:43,173
and I think people want the air on.
54
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:46,409
Why don't you ask the rest of the class
if they want the air on?
55
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,383
[man] Two, three, four, cha-cha.
56
00:02:53,415 --> 00:02:55,752
One, two, three, four, and five.
57
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,686
Very good, ladies, good job.
58
00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,623
Catch your breath because
now we do the Paso Doble.
59
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,061
Hi, excuse me, sorry.
60
00:03:05,093 --> 00:03:07,062
Before we "Paso,"
I just want to say we have
61
00:03:07,096 --> 00:03:10,200
a little bit of an air
conditioning situation.
62
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,168
I turned the air on and, uh,
63
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:17,206
that woman in the class told me
to go myself, so...
64
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,777
I just didn't know where
the rest of the class landed
65
00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:22,444
on, uh, you know, air.
66
00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:27,183
I think we all, you know,
want the air on, so...
67
00:03:27,216 --> 00:03:30,620
- You yelled [bleep] at us?
- No, no, no... I was just quoting.
68
00:03:30,652 --> 00:03:32,254
She said [bleep], I just...
69
00:03:32,288 --> 00:03:33,356
No, I didn't, no, I didn't.
70
00:03:33,389 --> 00:03:34,523
Are you serious right now?
71
00:03:34,556 --> 00:03:36,058
You were bombing all the place.
72
00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:37,227
She said it again!
73
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,894
Because I needed you to hear
what she was saying.
74
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,062
Why do you think
we need air conditioning?
75
00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:42,731
Because it's hot! It's nine a.m.
76
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:46,069
Of course it's nine a.m.,
that's when the class is.
77
00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:47,370
I know that's when the class is.
78
00:03:47,372 --> 00:03:48,390
- Why are you taking this class?
- Because I like to.
79
00:03:48,403 --> 00:03:49,538
What are you insinuating here?
80
00:03:49,572 --> 00:03:53,075
Well, especially for
people that are... older.
81
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,210
Okay, there it is.
82
00:03:54,242 --> 00:03:56,245
No, you're one of the younger ones.
83
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,913
- Thank you?
- Everyone looks great!
84
00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,148
[man] Listen, listen,
85
00:03:59,181 --> 00:04:01,216
if you want to fight
and you got a problem,
86
00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:04,120
turn around and dance.
87
00:04:04,153 --> 00:04:06,923
- One, two, three, four...
- Well, I think we...
88
00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,057
And five, six, seven... two more.
89
00:04:08,091 --> 00:04:10,060
And one, two, three, four, Paso Doble.
90
00:04:10,093 --> 00:04:12,963
91
00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,129
So, what did you do?
92
00:04:14,163 --> 00:04:15,598
I Paso Doble-d.
93
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,467
I thought I was gonna
get jumped in the parking lot.
94
00:04:17,499 --> 00:04:20,103
Oh, jumped by... I'm sorry...
a group of elderly women.
95
00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:21,771
You were, you were fearful
of the elderly women?
96
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:22,905
They were mad.
97
00:04:22,939 --> 00:04:25,108
I'm still confounded
98
00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:27,110
by why did you take an exercise class
99
00:04:27,143 --> 00:04:29,579
with elderly Jewish divorcees.
100
00:04:29,612 --> 00:04:31,348
Because, Kyle, I am a dancer.
101
00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:33,116
- Nope.
- My body was made to move.
102
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:35,584
Why does it need to move
like an elderly person?
103
00:04:35,617 --> 00:04:37,653
- You can... you do more arms...
- What message are you sending?
104
00:04:37,687 --> 00:04:41,356
Today I found out
that a woman I work with
105
00:04:41,461 --> 00:04:42,629
is a former porn star.
106
00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:45,598
- Really?
- Like a well-known porn star.
107
00:04:45,632 --> 00:04:48,434
- Well, well, wah-wah.
- Yes, Sienna Sparkle.
108
00:04:48,468 --> 00:04:50,604
Wait, shut up, shut the
up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
109
00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,139
- I'm not talking...
- Shut up!
110
00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,273
- Are you serious?
- I...
111
00:04:53,305 --> 00:04:54,574
You do not know Sienna Sparkle.
112
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:57,009
- Of course Kyle knows...
- She is like my favorite porn star.
113
00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:59,079
She was Miss Howard Stern in 2009.
114
00:04:59,112 --> 00:05:02,449
She was AVN Best Anal
four years in a row.
115
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:03,484
Oh, is that a hard record to get?
116
00:05:03,516 --> 00:05:04,617
That's huge.
117
00:05:04,651 --> 00:05:06,487
She works almost
exclusively out of her butt.
118
00:05:06,519 --> 00:05:09,589
Wouldn't that be works
exclusively "in" her butt?
119
00:05:09,622 --> 00:05:11,457
No, if you saw it, it would make sense.
120
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:12,468
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
121
00:05:12,492 --> 00:05:13,927
What's so cool?
122
00:05:13,959 --> 00:05:17,196
Oh, a real estate agent
Paul works with turns out to be
123
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,499
- a former anal porn star.
- Oh.
124
00:05:19,533 --> 00:05:21,802
She's, like, the Sandra
Bullock of butt porn.
125
00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:23,936
She works exclusively out of her butt.
126
00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,806
Wouldn't that be "in" her butt?
127
00:05:25,838 --> 00:05:27,139
- No.
- Thank you!
128
00:05:27,172 --> 00:05:29,309
See? Married, barely friends.
129
00:05:29,341 --> 00:05:31,043
- Okay, that's why you're married?
- Yeah.
130
00:05:31,076 --> 00:05:32,845
- 'Cause you both think like that?
- Yeah.
131
00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:34,213
All right, you ing dummies,
132
00:05:34,247 --> 00:05:35,549
you're about to see
what I'm talking about.
133
00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:37,483
Uh, who, who is it?
Is it the person you work with?
134
00:05:37,516 --> 00:05:39,519
No, her real name is Melissa Waters.
135
00:05:39,552 --> 00:05:43,023
- Melissa Waters?
- That is Sienna Sparkles.
136
00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:44,524
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
137
00:05:44,557 --> 00:05:47,159
My... that is Maddie's mom.
138
00:05:47,192 --> 00:05:48,228
- What?
- What?
139
00:05:48,261 --> 00:05:50,230
That is Amelia's friend's mom.
140
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,998
I would like to volunteer
to Amelia's school.
141
00:05:52,031 --> 00:05:54,367
She was prolific.
142
00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:55,869
- Oh, yeah, she's done a lot.
- Oh!
143
00:05:55,901 --> 00:05:58,471
I could tell by the audio that
it's "Three Dicks One Butt".
144
00:05:58,504 --> 00:06:02,009
I can tell by the video that it
is "Four Dicks One Butt".
145
00:06:02,042 --> 00:06:05,512
- That's the sequel.
- Oh, you know what?
146
00:06:05,545 --> 00:06:08,181
Now I do see what you mean that
she works out of her butt.
147
00:06:08,213 --> 00:06:09,716
Oh, you do, do you?
148
00:06:09,749 --> 00:06:12,052
That's why you're my writing
partner, you get nuance, bro.
149
00:06:12,084 --> 00:06:14,020
Mm-hmm.
150
00:06:14,054 --> 00:06:15,188
- That was a terrible high five.
- Oh, my God.
151
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:16,782
It's my left hand.
152
00:06:16,915 --> 00:06:19,920
I still can't believe Kyle
watches that stuff.
153
00:06:19,952 --> 00:06:21,253
I can.
154
00:06:21,286 --> 00:06:22,955
Oh, what am I saying?
Of course I can believe it.
155
00:06:22,988 --> 00:06:24,723
We are going to see Melissa today.
156
00:06:24,757 --> 00:06:26,293
Is there a plan in place?
157
00:06:26,326 --> 00:06:29,629
Ah, this is... this is
so hard for me because
158
00:06:29,661 --> 00:06:31,230
as a comedy person, it's, like,
159
00:06:31,264 --> 00:06:33,133
obviously I could be very
immature about this.
160
00:06:33,165 --> 00:06:34,401
- I...
- Hmm.
161
00:06:34,434 --> 00:06:36,136
... literally couldn't sleep last night.
162
00:06:36,168 --> 00:06:37,903
She's got two kids...
163
00:06:37,937 --> 00:06:41,140
Clearly Melissa's put this behind her.
164
00:06:41,174 --> 00:06:42,242
- Uh-huh.
- Pun intended.
165
00:06:42,274 --> 00:06:43,476
- Yeah, I got it.
- Okay.
166
00:06:43,509 --> 00:06:44,677
- I'm not telling anyone.
- Good.
167
00:06:44,711 --> 00:06:48,081
Because, you know, who cares?
She's pulled her life together.
168
00:06:48,113 --> 00:06:49,515
- Oh... oh, crap.
- What?
169
00:06:49,548 --> 00:06:52,419
I missed a call from Dr. Katzberg.
My phone didn't even ring.
170
00:06:52,451 --> 00:06:53,752
Why is she calling you on a Saturday?
171
00:06:53,786 --> 00:06:54,987
She does half day Saturdays,
172
00:06:55,021 --> 00:06:57,090
it's just the results from my physical.
173
00:06:57,122 --> 00:06:58,591
Oh, it's so annoying!
174
00:06:58,624 --> 00:06:59,992
The second you walk away from your phone
175
00:07:00,026 --> 00:07:01,761
- is when the doctor calls.
- Yep.
176
00:07:01,793 --> 00:07:03,128
[woman on phone] Dr. Katzberg's office.
177
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,431
Hi, it's Andrea Warren
calling Dr. Katzberg back.
178
00:07:05,464 --> 00:07:06,765
I'm sorry, she's with a patient.
179
00:07:06,798 --> 00:07:08,767
Wow, already?
180
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,803
What, is she like an Olympic sprinter?
181
00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:14,975
- She'll call you back.
- [phone beeping]
182
00:07:15,007 --> 00:07:17,978
Great, now I'm gonna be keeping
this out again all day.
183
00:07:18,011 --> 00:07:19,679
You don't think it's
anything bad, do you?
184
00:07:19,711 --> 00:07:24,149
No, it's probably just
my raging chlamydia.
185
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,218
I saw you... I could see
the smile in your eyes.
186
00:07:26,222 --> 00:07:27,230
Mm-mmm.
187
00:07:27,252 --> 00:07:29,788
- But, on a serious note.
- Yeah.
188
00:07:29,822 --> 00:07:31,156
Have you been itching?
189
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:33,158
'Cause this is like a really
burny, burny bout of it.
190
00:07:33,192 --> 00:07:34,793
All right.
191
00:07:34,826 --> 00:07:37,663
If you have any discharge,
don't tell me, call the doctor,
192
00:07:37,697 --> 00:07:38,999
I'm not interested in hearing that.
193
00:07:39,031 --> 00:07:40,633
You are somebody's mother.
194
00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:43,136
Sorry, I forgot.
"Mom's aren't supposed to be funny."
195
00:07:43,168 --> 00:07:46,338
Right, you watch TV.
Get more harried and tired, lady.
196
00:07:46,372 --> 00:07:47,574
That's what she said.
197
00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:51,511
No, no.
198
00:07:51,543 --> 00:07:54,079
- That doesn't make sense.
- Yeah, it does.
199
00:07:54,112 --> 00:07:56,249
- No.
- Think about it.
200
00:07:56,281 --> 00:07:58,519
Who wouldn't want their lady
to be more tired and harried?
201
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:02,155
- Magic puts stuff inside...
- Ooh...
202
00:08:02,187 --> 00:08:04,978
- And that's what makes it fly.
- Are we close?
203
00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:06,699
Rainbow power. Yeah, we're close.
204
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:08,995
I've been here before.
Oh, that's it, on the left.
205
00:08:09,028 --> 00:08:11,031
Who does that? Who parks like that?
206
00:08:11,064 --> 00:08:12,766
That's Melissa's car.
207
00:08:12,798 --> 00:08:15,834
Why does she have
a handicapped placard?
208
00:08:15,868 --> 00:08:17,537
What? What is that look?
209
00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:20,206
I'm just... I'm just sayin'.
210
00:08:20,239 --> 00:08:21,508
What?
211
00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:24,744
Maybe she can't walk very far.
212
00:08:24,777 --> 00:08:26,446
Maybe her butthole fell out.
213
00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:28,682
- Jesus!
- What? It happens!
214
00:08:28,715 --> 00:08:30,016
It happened to my stepmom!
215
00:08:30,048 --> 00:08:32,918
- That is not a true story.
- I protected you from that.
216
00:08:32,951 --> 00:08:35,187
It is a serious condition, okay?
217
00:08:35,221 --> 00:08:38,390
It happens... there's, like,
repeated trauma in the area.
218
00:08:38,423 --> 00:08:40,459
- Mmm...
- I mean, hers wasn't that trauma,
219
00:08:40,493 --> 00:08:43,797
but, like, babies, but it's
called a rectal prolapse.
220
00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:46,600
It's very common
for women in their 50's.
221
00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:49,436
Listen... in ten years
my butthole could fall out.
222
00:08:49,469 --> 00:08:51,471
And that's when I'm gone.
223
00:08:51,504 --> 00:08:53,239
- [chuckles]
- Mommy...
224
00:08:53,272 --> 00:08:55,908
What are you talking about?
225
00:08:55,942 --> 00:08:59,696
Just a pretend person from an old book.
226
00:09:00,245 --> 00:09:04,783
[kids shouting and laughing,
party music playing]
227
00:09:04,817 --> 00:09:08,555
Whoa! I think we went under the sea!
228
00:09:08,587 --> 00:09:10,122
- You guys made it!
- Hi!
229
00:09:10,155 --> 00:09:14,226
Oh, my gosh, Chelsea's so
excited that Amelia could come!
230
00:09:14,259 --> 00:09:16,895
- She looks ecstatic.
- Yeah.
231
00:09:16,928 --> 00:09:18,230
And where do I put this?
232
00:09:18,264 --> 00:09:21,067
The gift table... honey,
get up and enjoy your party!
233
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,403
Get in the bounce house.
234
00:09:23,436 --> 00:09:25,105
Go in the bounce house.
235
00:09:25,138 --> 00:09:26,906
Jesus! Do you want to take
your purse inside?
236
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:29,442
Oh, I'll keep it.
I'm waiting for a call from my doctor.
237
00:09:29,475 --> 00:09:31,411
- Ooh, what's wrong?
- Nothing.
238
00:09:31,443 --> 00:09:33,078
Hmm, it seems weird for a Saturday.
239
00:09:33,111 --> 00:09:35,748
It's just results from my physical.
240
00:09:35,782 --> 00:09:37,582
What do you think they're calling about?
241
00:09:37,609 --> 00:09:39,578
AIDS, cancer, diabetes.
242
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:42,047
- Wow.
- Wow, oh, I don't know,
243
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,517
I don't think so.
I appreciate the concern.
244
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,152
Well, I want you guys
to enjoy yourselves.
245
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:48,820
[whispering] Molly's mom has bruises
246
00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,889
on her chin from filler.
247
00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:54,160
You're gonna want to check that out,
but don't stare, okay?
248
00:09:54,192 --> 00:09:56,494
Have fun, there's wine inside.
249
00:09:56,527 --> 00:09:58,697
Wine... its ten a.m.
250
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,569
There's Melissa.
251
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:06,871
Oh, there she is... in all of her glory.
252
00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:08,674
She looks smaller in person.
253
00:10:08,706 --> 00:10:11,042
What does... how much
of that stuff did you watch?
254
00:10:11,075 --> 00:10:14,212
I like, scanned it,
you know, for research.
255
00:10:14,245 --> 00:10:16,614
Really? Research.
256
00:10:16,647 --> 00:10:19,118
A-ringa-dinga-ding, right?
257
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,686
This is why I don't tell you stuff.
258
00:10:20,719 --> 00:10:23,689
I mean, it's just surprising,
it's a little spicy.
259
00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:25,757
But you know I'm never doing
that in the butt, right?
260
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,294
- Not until you're 78.
- What?
261
00:10:28,326 --> 00:10:30,361
When we were dating you said
you would do it in 50 years...
262
00:10:30,394 --> 00:10:32,530
- No.
- 12 down, 38 more to go.
263
00:10:32,564 --> 00:10:35,434
Well, first of all, how did you
even remember that?
264
00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:36,701
You don't even remember
your mom's birthday...
265
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:38,236
this you can't get out of your mind?
266
00:10:38,269 --> 00:10:39,671
Some stuff sticks more than others.
267
00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:45,311
You know what?
268
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:48,580
I'm starting to see why
she went all butt all the time.
269
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:51,316
She doesn't have a lot to work
with on the top floor.
270
00:10:51,349 --> 00:10:53,885
- So?
- So, if she's choosing porn
271
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:56,955
as her profession and she
doesn't have the boobs for it...
272
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,724
- What?
- It's like a champion swimmer
273
00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:00,892
who's got strong legs and weak arms.
274
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,161
They bank on the legs.
275
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,597
- That makes sense.
- Yeah.
276
00:11:04,629 --> 00:11:05,830
Oh.
277
00:11:05,864 --> 00:11:07,733
Oh, this is a nice bag.
This looks like a...
278
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:10,002
I think I've seen this
at Target, this bag.
279
00:11:10,035 --> 00:11:11,270
They just don't
prepare you for this stuff
280
00:11:11,302 --> 00:11:12,504
in the parenting books.
281
00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:14,639
No, they do not.
282
00:11:14,672 --> 00:11:17,176
[kids shouting and laughing,
party music playing]
283
00:11:20,445 --> 00:11:23,415
Obviously, I like
Cinderella too, who doesn't?
284
00:11:23,447 --> 00:11:24,782
But I just wish, you know,
285
00:11:24,816 --> 00:11:27,253
maybe if she had stood up to her
stepsisters and stepmother
286
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:31,090
and said, "Hey, you can't
talk to me like that."
287
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:33,258
- Nope.
- Oh.
288
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,426
I like princesses 'cause they're...
289
00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:38,030
- 'cause they're pretty and...
- Uh-huh.
290
00:11:38,062 --> 00:11:41,099
They have pretty dresses and...
291
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,768
[whispering] ... take whatever you want.
292
00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:44,903
What?
293
00:11:44,936 --> 00:11:47,205
[whispering] Take whatever you want.
294
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:48,773
[whispering] Get whatever you want?
295
00:11:48,806 --> 00:11:52,211
- Mm-hmm.
- Cool.
296
00:11:52,217 --> 00:11:55,814
We already started putting
money aside for Izzy's therapy.
297
00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:58,383
- Uh, mermaid tears?
- No, thank you.
298
00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,118
- Appreciate it.
- Uh-huh.
299
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:01,619
- [phone buzzing]
- Hey, someone's phone's buzzing.
300
00:12:01,652 --> 00:12:03,489
- Who's got a phone?
- Oh! That's me, that's me.
301
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,291
I'm playing phone tag with my doctor.
302
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:06,926
- On a Saturday?
- Yes.
303
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:09,128
Shoot.
304
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:10,796
- Hey, is everything okay?
- [call ringing through]
305
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:13,965
Yes, Brian, it's not abnormal
for a doctor to call
306
00:12:13,998 --> 00:12:16,034
with positive to neutral news.
307
00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:17,468
[woman on phone] Dr. Katzberg's office.
308
00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:19,638
Hi, yes, it's Andrea Warren.
The doctor just called?
309
00:12:19,671 --> 00:12:21,073
I'm sorry, she's with a patient.
310
00:12:21,105 --> 00:12:23,474
Oh, God, you guys have a busy practice.
311
00:12:23,508 --> 00:12:25,811
What, are you giving out free OxyContin?
312
00:12:25,844 --> 00:12:27,246
If you are, save me one.
313
00:12:27,278 --> 00:12:28,746
Are you looking for OxyContin?
314
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:30,049
I'm... I was just joking.
315
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:31,482
Would you like me to tell the doctor
316
00:12:31,516 --> 00:12:33,352
that Andrea Warren called
for OxyContin, is that...
317
00:12:33,384 --> 00:12:36,054
No, no, no, no, I was
making a... I was just, like,
318
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,424
it's so popular, you know, like "ha-ha".
319
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,558
I know it's a controlled
substance and I don't,
320
00:12:40,591 --> 00:12:42,260
I don't take that kind of thing lightly.
321
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:44,562
- Is that the doctor?
- No, the nurse.
322
00:12:44,595 --> 00:12:47,332
Can't she tell you what's wrong?
323
00:12:47,365 --> 00:12:50,002
Um, I know the doctor's just calling me
with my physical results.
324
00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,537
Can you just give them
to me over the phone?
325
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:54,073
I'm sorry, I'm not authorized
to divulge that information.
326
00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:56,341
- She's not authorized to give it.
- Ask her if you sign something...
327
00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:58,009
- Well, how am I...
- ... if you sign something.
328
00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,844
- Listen, I...
- You can sign something
329
00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:02,448
and send it over,
I have an app on my phone.
330
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,849
Seriously?
331
00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:05,217
- Authorize...
- Why don't you hold for the doctor?
332
00:13:05,249 --> 00:13:06,451
She'll call you back.
333
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,854
- She'll call me back.
- That's not good.
334
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:12,056
- [scoffs]
- You should drive there.
335
00:13:12,090 --> 00:13:13,691
- What?
- Yeah.
336
00:13:13,724 --> 00:13:14,892
Not a terrible idea.
337
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:17,195
Oh, thank you, Brian, for chiming in.
338
00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:19,764
I'm gonna wait for her call.
I'm going to get some water.
339
00:13:19,797 --> 00:13:20,932
- Mermaid tears!
- Nope.
340
00:13:24,168 --> 00:13:27,639
[kids shouting and laughing,
party music playing]
341
00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:36,008
- Hi.
- Okay, you better stop.
342
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,542
I know, I know, I'm sorry.
343
00:13:37,576 --> 00:13:40,546
I'm just... I'm fascinated by it.
344
00:13:40,578 --> 00:13:42,881
- I have so many questions.
- Okay.
345
00:13:42,914 --> 00:13:45,050
I mean, you've seen the videos,
346
00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:49,255
apparently quite a few of them,
but the shape she must be in.
347
00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:51,023
She seems agile, though, right?
348
00:13:51,055 --> 00:13:53,525
And she's wearing a white pant,
I mean, that's a bold choice.
349
00:13:53,558 --> 00:13:55,861
- I wouldn't even wear white pants.
- You are a child.
350
00:13:55,894 --> 00:14:00,366
Oh, well, that makes you a pedophile.
351
00:14:00,399 --> 00:14:01,866
Should I call
Child Protective Services...
352
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,202
- Okay, okay.
- ... 'cause this doesn't seem
353
00:14:03,235 --> 00:14:04,971
safe for you.
354
00:14:05,004 --> 00:14:06,906
Oh, my God, what is she doing here?
355
00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:10,174
That's the lady who yelled at me
for swearing at dance class.
356
00:14:10,239 --> 00:14:11,307
Diane?
357
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:12,642
- Who?
- It's Opal's grandma.
358
00:14:12,674 --> 00:14:13,809
- You never met her at drop-off?
- No.
359
00:14:13,842 --> 00:14:15,677
She's the sweetest
lady in the world.
360
00:14:15,711 --> 00:14:18,815
- Hi.
- Huh.
361
00:14:18,847 --> 00:14:20,883
Oh, my God, this is so stupid.
362
00:14:20,917 --> 00:14:22,119
I'll be right back.
363
00:14:26,022 --> 00:14:27,523
Hi, it's me.
364
00:14:27,557 --> 00:14:29,225
Dance class potty mouth.
365
00:14:29,258 --> 00:14:31,594
- You're Opal's grandma?
- Yes.
366
00:14:31,627 --> 00:14:32,896
Wow, small world.
367
00:14:32,928 --> 00:14:34,430
Hi, Opal!
368
00:14:36,099 --> 00:14:38,435
Listen, um, I just wanted to say
369
00:14:38,467 --> 00:14:40,437
that I'm so sorry about what
happened the other day.
370
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,839
It was hot, I was trying to be nice.
371
00:14:42,871 --> 00:14:45,507
Why did you use that language?
372
00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:48,744
Well, again, and I'm not
making any excuses,
373
00:14:48,778 --> 00:14:50,413
but she was the one
who used the language,
374
00:14:50,446 --> 00:14:54,617
I was just quoting her, so, you
know, people knew what was...
375
00:14:54,649 --> 00:14:57,187
I would never even talk like that.
376
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,522
- I don't talk like that.
- Hmm.
377
00:14:59,555 --> 00:15:02,025
I'm really sorry if I offended you.
378
00:15:02,057 --> 00:15:05,528
Well, that's okay.
379
00:15:05,561 --> 00:15:07,230
Thank you for apologizing.
380
00:15:07,263 --> 00:15:09,032
Well, thank you for
accepting my apology.
381
00:15:09,065 --> 00:15:11,701
Mm-hmm.
382
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:13,136
'Cause it was pretty hot in there.
383
00:15:13,168 --> 00:15:14,937
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
384
00:15:14,970 --> 00:15:17,539
- People were sweating.
- Oh.
385
00:15:17,572 --> 00:15:19,608
- You were sweating.
- Hey, Diane!
386
00:15:19,642 --> 00:15:20,910
- Hi.
- I'm so glad you could make it.
387
00:15:20,942 --> 00:15:22,544
- Could I steal her for a second?
- Sure.
388
00:15:22,577 --> 00:15:23,712
- Okay, we'll be right back.
- I'll be right back.
389
00:15:23,745 --> 00:15:24,746
All right.
390
00:15:24,779 --> 00:15:25,881
What, what, what?
391
00:15:25,914 --> 00:15:30,586
What has happened?
Are you okay?
392
00:15:30,619 --> 00:15:34,389
[whispering]
Maddie's mom was a porn star.
393
00:15:34,422 --> 00:15:36,091
[whispering] Oh, yeah, I know.
394
00:15:36,124 --> 00:15:38,260
- You know?
- Yeah, I knew before.
395
00:15:38,293 --> 00:15:40,596
- You've known and you didn't tell me?
- No, I didn't.
396
00:15:40,629 --> 00:15:41,730
Why wouldn't you tell me?
397
00:15:41,764 --> 00:15:44,299
Do you hear the glee
in your voice right now?
398
00:15:44,332 --> 00:15:47,169
- Yeah!
- That's why I didn't tell you.
399
00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:48,670
Wait... how do you know?
400
00:15:48,704 --> 00:15:51,174
Someone just sent an email to
the entire class outing her...
401
00:15:51,206 --> 00:15:52,609
- What?
- ... saying that it goes
402
00:15:52,642 --> 00:15:55,311
against our family values
and that we should all boycott
403
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:58,648
the school picnic if Melissa's
gonna be there... it's amazing!
404
00:15:58,681 --> 00:16:00,517
- This is bullshit.
- I know.
405
00:16:00,549 --> 00:16:03,085
What, are they worried she's
gonna use our kids for fluffers?
406
00:16:03,119 --> 00:16:05,754
Yeah... I don't... yes.
What's a fluffer?
407
00:16:05,788 --> 00:16:07,257
What if her kid's here?
408
00:16:07,289 --> 00:16:09,491
Well, the sex talk will be easier.
409
00:16:09,524 --> 00:16:10,860
- Oh, will it?
- 'cause they can just play
410
00:16:10,893 --> 00:16:11,961
a video of mom.
411
00:16:11,994 --> 00:16:13,595
Who sent that email?
412
00:16:13,629 --> 00:16:16,865
It's an anonymous email,
a fake person... Horselover3000.
413
00:16:16,898 --> 00:16:18,268
They're outing her
414
00:16:18,301 --> 00:16:19,802
but they don't even have
the balls to sign it themselves?
415
00:16:19,835 --> 00:16:21,437
You make a good point.
416
00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:22,805
Who in our class is into horses?
417
00:16:22,837 --> 00:16:24,773
if I know. I've been thinking about it.
418
00:16:24,807 --> 00:16:27,710
Sarah had that party with those
mini ponies, like, a year ago.
419
00:16:27,743 --> 00:16:28,778
But that's a pony...
420
00:16:28,811 --> 00:16:31,881
Chelsea! Chelsea!
421
00:16:31,913 --> 00:16:34,449
Why do I even throw you a party?
422
00:16:34,483 --> 00:16:36,887
Get up and play.
423
00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:44,527
Has anyone here seen "War Horse"?
424
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,629
I heard it's a very
provocative film, you know,
425
00:16:47,662 --> 00:16:49,298
a lot of horses, real horses.
426
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,300
Hey, Andrea.
427
00:16:50,332 --> 00:16:51,466
I have to run to the bathroom.
428
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,869
Could you just keep
an eye on Maddie for me?
429
00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:53,902
Yeah.
430
00:16:53,936 --> 00:16:56,206
Hey, take your time in there.
431
00:16:56,238 --> 00:16:58,408
Whatever you need, I've got Maddie.
432
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,009
Cool, thank you.
433
00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:03,979
Did any of you watch the Triple Crown?
434
00:17:04,013 --> 00:17:07,149
I mean, a Clydesdale,
that is a majestic animal.
435
00:17:07,183 --> 00:17:09,752
We're thinking of sending Amelia
to a horse camp this summer.
436
00:17:09,784 --> 00:17:11,353
Is that something
you guys have ever done?
437
00:17:11,387 --> 00:17:13,656
So I heard that horses
have the largest eyes
438
00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:15,190
of any land mammals.
439
00:17:15,224 --> 00:17:18,227
Does that seem right to you?
440
00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:20,830
[phone dinging]
441
00:17:20,862 --> 00:17:21,863
I can't talk.
442
00:17:21,897 --> 00:17:23,398
Wait, wait, wait... is she there?
443
00:17:23,431 --> 00:17:25,167
Yes, there's a whole situation
and it involves horses.
444
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,268
Wait... what?
445
00:17:26,302 --> 00:17:27,869
Oh, my God, I should be at this party.
446
00:17:27,902 --> 00:17:29,271
Literally no one agrees
with that statement.
447
00:17:29,304 --> 00:17:30,672
I have to go.
448
00:17:30,706 --> 00:17:32,274
No, no, no, hang on, hang on,
hang on, it's important.
449
00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:33,509
What?
450
00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:34,843
How does she look?
451
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:36,546
- Like a mom.
- Gross.
452
00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:39,182
- Where are you?
- In my bed.
453
00:17:39,215 --> 00:17:41,551
Oh, my God, it's 12:30, Kyle.
454
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:44,953
Yeah, on Saturday, the day for beds.
455
00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:47,090
Oh, is that the new
slogan for Saturdays?
456
00:17:47,122 --> 00:17:49,859
- Either way, it should be.
- You know what, I have to go, okay?
457
00:17:49,891 --> 00:17:51,126
I'm waiting for a call from my doctor.
458
00:17:51,159 --> 00:17:53,528
All right, I'll talk to you later.
459
00:17:53,562 --> 00:17:56,298
You're not concerned that a
doctor's calling me on a Saturday?
460
00:17:56,331 --> 00:17:58,467
She's probably just calling to
tell you you started menopause.
461
00:17:58,501 --> 00:17:59,636
- What?
- Yeah, what did they do,
462
00:17:59,668 --> 00:18:00,802
about your hormone tests?
463
00:18:00,835 --> 00:18:02,204
Yeah.
464
00:18:02,237 --> 00:18:05,574
A hormone panel at your age
means menopause.
465
00:18:05,608 --> 00:18:07,076
At a certain point your uterus
466
00:18:07,109 --> 00:18:09,779
will fall out of your vagina,
you'll get hot flashes.
467
00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:11,781
I've never had a hot flash!
What are you talking about?
468
00:18:11,813 --> 00:18:13,148
Your whole thing will dry up,
469
00:18:13,181 --> 00:18:15,550
you'll need to use those
special salves to get wet.
470
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:17,619
- I'm hanging up!
- Oh, I thought you already
471
00:18:17,652 --> 00:18:21,290
- hung up, I was just...
- [phone dinging]
472
00:18:21,323 --> 00:18:23,725
[beep, phone rings]
473
00:18:24,213 --> 00:18:25,348
Dr. Katzberg's office.
474
00:18:25,382 --> 00:18:27,952
Hi, it's me again.
475
00:18:29,052 --> 00:18:30,554
I'm sorry?
476
00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:33,190
Uh, it's Andrea Warren,
calling for Dr. Katzberg again.
477
00:18:33,222 --> 00:18:34,424
We spoke earlier?
478
00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:36,227
Oh, right, you called
looking for OxyContin.
479
00:18:36,259 --> 00:18:40,196
I wasn't call... calling about
OxyContin, but I, I...
480
00:18:40,229 --> 00:18:41,531
Is Dr. Katzberg available?
481
00:18:41,565 --> 00:18:43,901
I just really want to
connect with her today.
482
00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:44,934
Well, she just called you.
483
00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:45,969
What?
484
00:18:46,003 --> 00:18:47,037
It went to voicemail.
485
00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:48,139
I... no.
486
00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,440
We do close at 1:00 today
487
00:18:49,472 --> 00:18:50,574
so you really should stay by your phone.
488
00:18:50,606 --> 00:18:52,108
Wait, wait, wait...
489
00:18:52,142 --> 00:18:54,711
I know that you said that
you can't divulge anything,
490
00:18:54,745 --> 00:18:57,046
but is that because that's just protocol
491
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,949
or because there's something to report?
492
00:18:58,981 --> 00:19:01,719
Again, I can't divulge
that kind of information.
493
00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:04,087
You know, when you say "divulge"
494
00:19:04,121 --> 00:19:07,190
it makes it sound like
it's something bad.
495
00:19:09,159 --> 00:19:10,194
She'll call you back.
496
00:19:15,465 --> 00:19:16,600
Whoa, hey, hey, hey.
497
00:19:16,632 --> 00:19:17,934
Is that the doctor?
498
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,170
No, I'm still waiting
for her to call me.
499
00:19:19,202 --> 00:19:20,503
Oh.
500
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:22,338
Brian, why are you so involved in this?
501
00:19:22,372 --> 00:19:24,175
I like to be involved.
502
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:26,911
I don't think it's a good sign
that she keeps calling you.
503
00:19:26,943 --> 00:19:29,245
Or it's just the true
definition of phone tag.
504
00:19:29,278 --> 00:19:30,314
I'm trying to help you.
505
00:19:30,346 --> 00:19:31,815
- No, that...
- The whites of your eyes
506
00:19:31,849 --> 00:19:33,617
seem a little yellow,
which could be what,
507
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,652
- like, a kidney thing?
- Yeah, that's all kidney.
508
00:19:35,686 --> 00:19:37,254
But you know what,
your breath smells weird.
509
00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:38,756
- Not bad, not bad...
- That could be an intestinal...
510
00:19:38,788 --> 00:19:41,090
- ... it just smells weird.
- ... or a stomach.
511
00:19:41,123 --> 00:19:44,761
- Oh, my God!
- Do you taste what we smell?
512
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:45,765
No.
513
00:19:45,795 --> 00:19:48,498
What's your bucket list?
514
00:19:48,532 --> 00:19:51,101
Your bucket list?
515
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:53,938
Excuse me, I'm going
to the bathroom, okay?
516
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:55,472
I think it's diabetes.
517
00:20:06,048 --> 00:20:08,484
- [phone clatters on floor]
- Shit.
518
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:10,353
- [thud]
- Ow!
519
00:20:10,386 --> 00:20:11,688
[bleep]!
520
00:20:11,721 --> 00:20:15,291
Ow... ow, ow, ow... me, motherless.
521
00:20:15,324 --> 00:20:17,961
Shit, that hurts!
522
00:20:17,995 --> 00:20:19,030
Ah!
523
00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:27,203
Diane, I know that I said
that I don't talk like that...
524
00:20:27,237 --> 00:20:29,305
Hey, Andrea, if you
have a problem with me,
525
00:20:29,338 --> 00:20:31,007
you can say it to my face.
526
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,575
What? No, I don't have
a problem with you.
527
00:20:32,609 --> 00:20:35,478
Really? You don't think
I've noticed you acting weirdly
528
00:20:35,511 --> 00:20:37,981
and staring at my butt
this entire party?
529
00:20:38,015 --> 00:20:39,315
Oh, and everybody's been telling me
530
00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:42,152
about your obsession with horses.
531
00:20:42,184 --> 00:20:44,053
Oh, no, no... I didn't write that email.
532
00:20:44,086 --> 00:20:46,356
Nobody else liked "War Horse"... fact.
533
00:20:46,390 --> 00:20:48,158
I was actually trying to find out
534
00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:51,428
who the horse person was for you.
535
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:53,329
Personally, I don't even like horses.
536
00:20:53,363 --> 00:20:54,931
I don't care if they're used for glue.
537
00:20:54,965 --> 00:20:56,333
- Oh.
- Or maybe I do, I don't know,
538
00:20:56,335 --> 00:20:57,335
I just didn't think that through.
539
00:20:57,366 --> 00:20:59,269
Oh, my God. Is that my phone?
540
00:20:59,303 --> 00:21:00,536
- Oh, yeah.
- Are you holding my...
541
00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:02,006
what are you doing
with my phone?
542
00:21:02,038 --> 00:21:03,339
You left it in the bathroom.
543
00:21:03,372 --> 00:21:05,775
Did you follow me to the bathroom
and see if you could grab it from me?
544
00:21:05,808 --> 00:21:08,077
- No, I just...
- Did you want to look at my pictures?
545
00:21:08,111 --> 00:21:10,948
I... looked at the screen saver
just to see whose phone it was.
546
00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:13,284
- So you can scroll on through, right?
- [phone ringing]
547
00:21:13,316 --> 00:21:15,786
And see if I had dirty
pictures on there.
548
00:21:15,818 --> 00:21:17,353
- I...
- What are you doing?
549
00:21:17,386 --> 00:21:18,955
Are you kidding?
What... what are you doing?
550
00:21:18,988 --> 00:21:20,556
- Seriously?
- I just...
551
00:21:20,590 --> 00:21:22,860
It's my doctor and
she's been calling all day,
552
00:21:22,892 --> 00:21:25,362
and you know how hard it is
to get a doctor on the phone.
553
00:21:25,394 --> 00:21:26,529
Seriously, one second.
554
00:21:26,563 --> 00:21:28,065
Hi, Dr. Katzberg?
555
00:21:28,097 --> 00:21:29,767
Uh-huh, hi.
556
00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:33,970
Oh, I'm good, how are you?
557
00:21:34,004 --> 00:21:35,039
Actually, you know what?
558
00:21:35,072 --> 00:21:37,842
I'm in the middle of something here.
Is everything okay?
559
00:21:39,942 --> 00:21:41,778
Thank you, I will call you Monday.
560
00:21:47,284 --> 00:21:49,386
So...
561
00:21:49,419 --> 00:21:52,222
everything's good.
562
00:21:52,255 --> 00:21:54,123
Yay?
563
00:21:54,157 --> 00:21:56,060
I... my cholesterol got down to 80
564
00:21:56,093 --> 00:21:57,961
and we've been working on that.
565
00:21:57,995 --> 00:22:02,266
She just wanted to tell me personally.
566
00:22:02,298 --> 00:22:04,767
At least it wasn't menopause.
567
00:22:04,801 --> 00:22:05,970
I mean, not that menopause
568
00:22:06,003 --> 00:22:07,938
isn't actually
a fully natural process...
569
00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:10,440
You are unbelievable.
Of course you wrote that email.
570
00:22:10,474 --> 00:22:12,142
- I did not!
- You think you're better than me?
571
00:22:12,175 --> 00:22:13,243
- No.
- You think you don't have
572
00:22:13,276 --> 00:22:15,112
any secrets? Because I know that you,
573
00:22:15,144 --> 00:22:17,747
against school policy, used
artificial food coloring
574
00:22:17,781 --> 00:22:19,984
in Amelia's birthday cupcakes
even though you said
575
00:22:20,018 --> 00:22:21,519
they were from Whole Foods.
576
00:22:21,553 --> 00:22:25,357
First of all, I don't think
those are comparable secrets.
577
00:22:25,390 --> 00:22:27,960
But, I would like to say
that I don't agree
578
00:22:27,992 --> 00:22:29,627
with the school's communist policy
579
00:22:29,661 --> 00:22:31,263
when it comes to birthday treats.
580
00:22:31,296 --> 00:22:33,632
Sarah is not allergic
to artificial colors.
581
00:22:33,664 --> 00:22:35,466
Her mom just doesn't
want her to have them,
582
00:22:35,499 --> 00:22:38,005
and then the rest of us have to suffer!
583
00:22:39,838 --> 00:22:43,475
There's no world where I think
that I am better than you.
584
00:22:43,508 --> 00:22:45,979
I look normal... I'm disgusting.
585
00:22:46,011 --> 00:22:47,379
- Mike, tell her.
- She's an animal.
586
00:22:47,412 --> 00:22:49,316
I just yelled in front
of her granddaughter.
587
00:22:49,348 --> 00:22:52,218
- Jeez, my God...
- Sorry, Diane.
588
00:22:52,251 --> 00:22:58,390
Melissa, I actually knew what
you used to... do before.
589
00:22:58,423 --> 00:23:00,192
And I did not tell anybody.
590
00:23:00,226 --> 00:23:02,095
Yeah, it was annoying.
591
00:23:03,563 --> 00:23:06,333
I am so sorry that
this is happening to you.
592
00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:09,334
It is not fair.
593
00:23:12,204 --> 00:23:15,008
Thank you, that makes
me feel a little...
594
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,909
- I'm sorry I snapped at you.
- No, no, oh, my God.
595
00:23:16,942 --> 00:23:19,345
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have looked at your butt.
596
00:23:19,379 --> 00:23:21,614
That was on me.
Your butt is your...
597
00:23:21,648 --> 00:23:22,949
- Okay.
- ... property,
598
00:23:22,981 --> 00:23:25,618
and I'm sure it's doing great.
599
00:23:25,652 --> 00:23:27,854
[chuckling]
600
00:23:27,886 --> 00:23:29,422
It's just been a really hard week.
601
00:23:29,454 --> 00:23:31,056
Oh, I'm sorry.
602
00:23:31,089 --> 00:23:33,025
Yeah, a lot of shit's been coming out.
603
00:23:33,058 --> 00:23:34,893
Mm-hmm.
604
00:23:34,927 --> 00:23:37,030
Mmm, yeah.
605
00:23:37,063 --> 00:23:38,732
- We can't even imagine.
- No.
606
00:23:38,765 --> 00:23:41,601
Yeah. Hi, by the way.
607
00:23:41,633 --> 00:23:43,702
Hi, Mike.
608
00:23:43,736 --> 00:23:45,104
We didn't get to say hi earlier.
609
00:23:47,839 --> 00:23:48,974
I just can't believe anyone in our class
610
00:23:49,008 --> 00:23:50,610
- would write these things.
- I know!
611
00:23:50,643 --> 00:23:53,647
It's just... and to be anonymous,
it's just so... cowardly.
612
00:23:53,713 --> 00:23:55,183
Thank you guys.
613
00:23:55,215 --> 00:23:57,150
Come on, dear.
614
00:23:57,184 --> 00:23:59,521
Andrea did ask me about a horse, though.
615
00:23:59,553 --> 00:24:00,787
Oh, my God.
616
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:03,357
Some people can't clean up their act.
617
00:24:05,059 --> 00:24:06,194
- Oh, my God.
- No.
618
00:24:06,226 --> 00:24:08,662
- But...
- No.
619
00:24:08,695 --> 00:24:11,065
[tight lipped] Just shut your mouth.
620
00:24:13,568 --> 00:24:16,371
So your vagina hole gets
bigger and bigger
621
00:24:16,404 --> 00:24:18,406
and bigger and bigger,
622
00:24:18,438 --> 00:24:21,875
and just snaps back into place.
623
00:24:21,908 --> 00:24:23,243
Hey.
624
00:24:23,277 --> 00:24:25,847
Can I talk to you for a second?
625
00:24:25,879 --> 00:24:27,381
Yeah.
626
00:24:27,415 --> 00:24:28,683
Yeah, you can.
627
00:24:28,685 --> 00:24:30,085
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629
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