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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,467 --> 00:00:04,537 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC) 2 00:00:12,745 --> 00:00:15,915 (MELLOW GUITAR MUSIC) 3 00:00:19,424 --> 00:00:24,424 Subtitles by explosiveskull 4 00:00:28,060 --> 00:00:28,892 RADIO ANNOUNCER: In the West, 5 00:00:28,894 --> 00:00:30,659 the Royals can clinch that division 6 00:00:30,661 --> 00:00:32,095 with a win over the Angels. 7 00:00:32,097 --> 00:00:35,565 Last night's one-nothing squeaker game, the Royals. 8 00:00:35,567 --> 00:00:37,868 HOST: And once you get a good rub on that loin, 9 00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:39,035 it's all about smokin' it. 10 00:00:39,037 --> 00:00:41,170 And how long do you normally smoke it? 11 00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:44,007 CHEF: Well, I smoke it till it can't smoke no more. 12 00:00:44,009 --> 00:00:44,974 COMMENTATOR: One, nothing lead. 13 00:00:44,976 --> 00:00:46,977 Good morning, Los Angeles 14 00:00:46,979 --> 00:00:49,413 and welcome to the Mystic Morning Show. 15 00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:50,679 As always on Saturday mornings, 16 00:00:50,681 --> 00:00:53,916 we have The Amazing Fabular in studios 17 00:00:53,918 --> 00:00:56,886 taking your calls and enlightening us all 18 00:00:56,888 --> 00:00:58,989 with his psychic powers. 19 00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:02,024 First up, we have Chaz from Mar Vista. 20 00:01:02,026 --> 00:01:03,459 Good morning, Chaz. 21 00:01:03,461 --> 00:01:04,728 Mornin'. 22 00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:06,695 DEEJAY: What can Fabular do for you? 23 00:01:06,697 --> 00:01:09,698 Well, I'd just like to know where my dog Petey is. 24 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:14,706 He went missin' about three weeks ago and I really miss him. 25 00:01:17,443 --> 00:01:18,845 I'm seeing a dog. 26 00:01:20,545 --> 00:01:23,079 A medium-sized dog. 27 00:01:23,081 --> 00:01:25,781 CHAZ: Oh, he was pretty big, actually. 28 00:01:25,783 --> 00:01:29,554 Yes, a medium large dog. 29 00:01:32,458 --> 00:01:34,191 Who's the B? 30 00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:36,126 (STAMMERS) 31 00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:38,127 I'm getting a strong sense of B. 32 00:01:38,129 --> 00:01:39,028 Who's the B? 33 00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:39,995 CHAZ: My wife! 34 00:01:39,997 --> 00:01:41,498 My wife's name is Barbara! 35 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:42,101 Yes. 36 00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:46,035 She is upset that the dog is lost. 37 00:01:46,037 --> 00:01:49,972 CHAZ: Oh, no, she didn't like the dog at all. 38 00:01:49,974 --> 00:01:51,775 And by that, I mean she is upset 39 00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:55,078 with you that the dog is lost. 40 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,813 Yep, she wants me to give up on him. 41 00:01:56,815 --> 00:01:58,081 THE AMAZING FABULAR: But you mustn't. 42 00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:00,183 No, no, that's right. 43 00:02:00,185 --> 00:02:03,990 (THE AMAZING FABULAR MOANING) 44 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:08,023 I've got great news for you, Charles. 45 00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:09,158 CHAZ: Chaz. 46 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,027 Charles, Petey is on his way home to you right now. 47 00:02:12,029 --> 00:02:12,862 CHAZ: Really? 48 00:02:12,864 --> 00:02:13,796 That's great. 49 00:02:13,798 --> 00:02:16,932 Thank you, thank you, Fabular! 50 00:02:16,934 --> 00:02:19,201 I don't create what I see. 51 00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:21,003 I am merely the messenger. 52 00:02:21,005 --> 00:02:22,171 CHAZ: I'm comin', Petey! 53 00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:25,140 Thanks for the call, Chaz, and good luck with Petey. 54 00:02:25,142 --> 00:02:29,145 Next up we have Tim Tai Choi from Monterey Park. 55 00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:31,781 What can Fabular do for you? 56 00:02:31,783 --> 00:02:33,216 TIM: Yeah, hello. 57 00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:36,520 I want to ask, Mr. Fabular. 58 00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:41,126 Where you get off telling my wife that I am cheating on her! 59 00:02:41,626 --> 00:02:45,628 The truth is liberating but also very painful. 60 00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:46,263 TIM: Liberating? 61 00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:48,598 What liberating? 62 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,567 You ruined my wife, 63 00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:52,269 - you ruined my life... - Let it out. 64 00:02:52,271 --> 00:02:54,069 - Let the pain out. - And my marriage! 65 00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:56,840 All right, next up on line three, 66 00:02:56,842 --> 00:03:01,711 we have Josephine from Rancho Cucamonga! 67 00:03:01,713 --> 00:03:04,717 JOSEPHINE: Good morning, Fabular. 68 00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:07,283 Fabular? 69 00:03:07,285 --> 00:03:08,119 Fabular? 70 00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:12,123 JOSEPHINE: Hello? 71 00:03:13,791 --> 00:03:15,057 Maybe now might be a good time 72 00:03:15,059 --> 00:03:17,159 to take a short commercial break 73 00:03:17,161 --> 00:03:21,900 while Fabular takes a meditation. 74 00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:24,099 You okay, buddy? 75 00:03:24,101 --> 00:03:26,135 (TENSE MUSIC) 76 00:03:26,137 --> 00:03:26,973 You okay? 77 00:03:29,607 --> 00:03:30,242 Mason. 78 00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:34,146 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 79 00:03:44,155 --> 00:03:45,588 She's all yours, Jimmy. 80 00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:46,855 Sure thing, Mr. Pearson. 81 00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:48,692 And thanks for that tip last week. 82 00:03:48,694 --> 00:03:50,794 Did I give you a big tip last week? 83 00:03:50,796 --> 00:03:52,162 Oh, the advice. 84 00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:53,028 How'd that go? 85 00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:55,365 She broke up with me. 86 00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:56,167 I see. 87 00:03:58,202 --> 00:03:59,304 Keep the change. 88 00:04:01,072 --> 00:04:01,706 Thanks. 89 00:04:05,309 --> 00:04:07,310 Hey, it's the I Hate Kids guy! 90 00:04:07,312 --> 00:04:08,547 My god. 91 00:04:09,247 --> 00:04:10,980 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's me. 92 00:04:10,982 --> 00:04:12,147 This is so cool! 93 00:04:12,149 --> 00:04:14,283 I have been waiting here all day. 94 00:04:14,285 --> 00:04:15,618 Will you sign this for me? 95 00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,386 Yeah, of course. 96 00:04:17,388 --> 00:04:19,855 Man, you are a total genius. 97 00:04:19,857 --> 00:04:21,091 Oh! 98 00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:24,026 It's like you're inside my head. 99 00:04:24,028 --> 00:04:26,629 When I found out I was gonna have that one, 100 00:04:26,631 --> 00:04:30,199 I sat in my garage and tried to think of ways to end it all. 101 00:04:30,201 --> 00:04:31,668 Well, the book's really more tongue in cheek 102 00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,269 for those who choose not to have kids. 103 00:04:33,271 --> 00:04:34,704 Exactly! 104 00:04:34,706 --> 00:04:36,338 You totally blew my mind! 105 00:04:36,340 --> 00:04:38,074 I was like, if I ever meet this guy, 106 00:04:38,076 --> 00:04:40,076 we are gonna be best friends 107 00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:44,014 'cause having kids is beyond life ruining 108 00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:45,247 and you get it, bro. 109 00:04:45,249 --> 00:04:46,151 You get it! 110 00:04:47,319 --> 00:04:48,321 Here ya go 111 00:04:51,122 --> 00:04:52,422 FAN: Oh, yeah! 112 00:04:52,424 --> 00:04:53,259 Wow. 113 00:04:54,158 --> 00:04:55,124 That's enough. 114 00:04:55,126 --> 00:04:56,158 Thanks, buddy, that's enough. 115 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,596 Okay, I gotta. 116 00:04:59,364 --> 00:05:00,396 Great meeting you. 117 00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:01,701 Take care, kids. 118 00:05:05,136 --> 00:05:06,435 Hey! 119 00:05:06,437 --> 00:05:07,403 You know who that is? 120 00:05:07,405 --> 00:05:08,607 You know who that is? 121 00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:12,809 A little late, aren't we, Nick? 122 00:05:12,811 --> 00:05:14,076 Yeah, I'm a little late, Walter. 123 00:05:14,078 --> 00:05:15,278 I'm a little late. 124 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,881 I'm gonna need a shot of liquid courage. 125 00:05:17,883 --> 00:05:19,348 What do you suggest? 126 00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:21,785 Well, if you were 15 minutes late, I'd say wine 127 00:05:21,787 --> 00:05:24,386 but since you've crossed over the lateness equator, 128 00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:26,923 I think we're looking at bourbon. 129 00:05:26,925 --> 00:05:29,225 It's your professionalism I admire, Walter. 130 00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:30,262 Bourbon, it is. 131 00:05:31,696 --> 00:05:32,331 Perfect. 132 00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:35,331 You know, I finally finished your book 133 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:37,966 and I caught you on Kelly and Ryan the other day. 134 00:05:37,968 --> 00:05:39,302 You're making quite a stir with this whole 135 00:05:39,304 --> 00:05:41,271 I Hate Kids thing. 136 00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:42,439 Mm-hmm. 137 00:05:42,441 --> 00:05:44,440 Kelly wasn't having any of it. 138 00:05:44,442 --> 00:05:45,408 No, she certainly was not. 139 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,046 No, she wasn't. 140 00:05:48,213 --> 00:05:49,144 Luckily I have a woman back here 141 00:05:49,146 --> 00:05:51,650 who is more than okay with it. 142 00:05:53,218 --> 00:05:55,354 Better not keep her waiting. 143 00:05:57,021 --> 00:05:58,089 Wish me luck. 144 00:05:59,391 --> 00:06:00,256 (KNOCKS ON WOOD) 145 00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:01,160 Good luck. 146 00:06:02,059 --> 00:06:05,064 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 147 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,262 Sorry I'm late, folks. 148 00:06:07,264 --> 00:06:09,932 You know how these book tour press junkets go. 149 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,302 Hey, Mom, hey, Dad. 150 00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:13,970 Hey, bro. 151 00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:14,803 Hi, Kelly. 152 00:06:14,805 --> 00:06:15,439 Oh. 153 00:06:19,311 --> 00:06:20,242 You're lucky I love you. 154 00:06:20,244 --> 00:06:21,511 You do know what will happen 155 00:06:21,513 --> 00:06:22,812 if you're late to the actual wedding, right? 156 00:06:22,814 --> 00:06:24,012 Of course. 157 00:06:24,014 --> 00:06:27,516 That's why I had my lawyer make you executor of the will. 158 00:06:27,518 --> 00:06:29,886 Well, I know that we just wanna thank you all 159 00:06:29,888 --> 00:06:32,756 for being here with us on this special occasion. 160 00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:37,363 I wanna make a toast to the bravest woman I have ever met. 161 00:06:38,429 --> 00:06:40,129 Anyone who can get hitched 162 00:06:40,131 --> 00:06:44,434 to such a humongous bag of hot air is truly one of a kind. 163 00:06:44,436 --> 00:06:46,468 (GUESTS LAUGHING) 164 00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:48,437 So here's to Sydney's mom. 165 00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:51,908 (GUESTS LAUGHING) 166 00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:54,076 Sorry, Phil, I couldn't resist. 167 00:06:54,078 --> 00:06:55,545 Jeez! 168 00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:56,646 Reverend! 169 00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:58,514 And Nick does not consider the evening a success 170 00:06:58,516 --> 00:07:01,985 unless bourbon comes out of Reverend McGooley's nose. 171 00:07:01,987 --> 00:07:04,254 Sorry, reverend, it's the good stuff. 172 00:07:04,256 --> 00:07:06,221 We're off to a great start. 173 00:07:06,223 --> 00:07:07,557 Here we go, folks. 174 00:07:07,559 --> 00:07:08,891 - Hang in there. - Are you okay? 175 00:07:08,893 --> 00:07:10,459 All right. 176 00:07:10,461 --> 00:07:11,394 He's good. 177 00:07:11,396 --> 00:07:14,264 (GUESTS LAUGHING) 178 00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:17,266 Okay, my turn. 179 00:07:17,268 --> 00:07:24,275 When I first met Nick last year, I was moderately impressed. 180 00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:28,478 He is clever, he is devilishly handsome 181 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,280 and handsomely devilish. 182 00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:33,516 He keeps me laughing and he is smart enough to know 183 00:07:33,518 --> 00:07:36,019 when he has lost an argument. 184 00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:39,055 But I knew that he was the man of my dreams 185 00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:43,158 when he spoke these three precious words to me. 186 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,593 I hate kids. 187 00:07:44,595 --> 00:07:47,432 (GUESTS LAUGHING) 188 00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:49,064 What? 189 00:07:49,066 --> 00:07:52,037 Well, we're having a baby, so. 190 00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:56,271 And since my brave and very beautiful sister Kelly 191 00:07:56,273 --> 00:07:59,108 is handling the creation of grandchildren, 192 00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,944 it frees Nick and I up to pursue 193 00:08:00,946 --> 00:08:03,612 a much less complicated life together. 194 00:08:03,614 --> 00:08:06,249 Besides, over the years I've managed to kill a hamster, 195 00:08:06,251 --> 00:08:09,519 a gerbil, two turtles and a horse. 196 00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:10,886 A horse? 197 00:08:10,888 --> 00:08:12,422 That was a joke, the horse. 198 00:08:12,424 --> 00:08:14,260 I didn't kill a horse. 199 00:08:15,292 --> 00:08:17,994 But my record as a care provider is less than stellar 200 00:08:17,996 --> 00:08:21,531 so here's to a lifetime of adventures. 201 00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:23,233 Just the two of us. 202 00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:24,600 GUESTS: Cheers! 203 00:08:24,602 --> 00:08:25,437 Cheers! 204 00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,545 Can I help you, sir? 205 00:08:35,146 --> 00:08:37,046 I think I need a drink. 206 00:08:37,048 --> 00:08:38,183 What'll it be? 207 00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:43,620 Something sweet with bubbles and a splash of grenadine. 208 00:08:43,622 --> 00:08:45,187 Sounds serious. 209 00:08:45,189 --> 00:08:47,356 It's very serious. 210 00:08:47,358 --> 00:08:49,057 Do you wanna talk about it? 211 00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:51,326 It's family stuff. 212 00:08:51,328 --> 00:08:52,397 Here ya go. 213 00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:04,673 Thanks. 214 00:09:04,675 --> 00:09:06,542 It's okay. 215 00:09:06,544 --> 00:09:07,442 It's on the house. 216 00:09:07,444 --> 00:09:09,077 Thanks. 217 00:09:09,079 --> 00:09:11,214 Do you know where the Pearson party is? 218 00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:12,447 Yeah, it's down the hall, 219 00:09:12,449 --> 00:09:15,220 first set of double doors on the left. 220 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:18,089 Wish me luck. 221 00:09:19,491 --> 00:09:20,492 Good luck. 222 00:09:21,693 --> 00:09:24,994 Okay, I will start the ceremony 223 00:09:24,996 --> 00:09:27,429 with a little introduction like, 224 00:09:27,431 --> 00:09:29,365 dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 225 00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:34,202 in the presence of God to join Nicholas Buchanan Pearson 226 00:09:34,204 --> 00:09:35,138 That's me. 227 00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:37,673 and Sydney Dell Bartlett in holy matrimony. 228 00:09:37,675 --> 00:09:39,374 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 229 00:09:39,376 --> 00:09:43,078 Di da di da, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 230 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,682 And then I'm required by the collar to ask 231 00:09:45,684 --> 00:09:49,519 be there anyone here today who knows of any reason 232 00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:53,623 why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? 233 00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:57,897 Speak now or forever hold your peace. 234 00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,631 Excuse me. 235 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,664 Can I help you, young man? 236 00:10:02,666 --> 00:10:03,666 I do. 237 00:10:03,668 --> 00:10:05,033 You do what? 238 00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,970 (GROUP LAUGHS) 239 00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:07,703 Well, I mean, this seemed like 240 00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:09,572 the perfect moment to say it 241 00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:12,475 since you asked the question, right? 242 00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:13,408 What's goin' on, buddy? 243 00:10:13,410 --> 00:10:16,012 What are you talkin' about? 244 00:10:16,014 --> 00:10:17,583 You're my father. 245 00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:22,085 It was just one night. 246 00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:23,119 Not you, sir. 247 00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:24,957 No, him. 248 00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:28,390 He's my father. 249 00:10:28,392 --> 00:10:30,360 I'm your dad? 250 00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:33,062 Yes, you're my father. 251 00:10:33,064 --> 00:10:34,934 Who is this, Nick? 252 00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:37,133 Who is this? 253 00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:38,134 Oh, ha, ha, ha. 254 00:10:38,136 --> 00:10:41,004 Very funny, hilarious! 255 00:10:41,006 --> 00:10:44,773 Whose inappropriate little caper is this, Larry? 256 00:10:44,775 --> 00:10:45,741 Brian, you do this? 257 00:10:45,743 --> 00:10:47,342 No. 258 00:10:47,344 --> 00:10:48,344 Simon? 259 00:10:48,346 --> 00:10:49,578 - No. - Not me. 260 00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:51,179 Was it any of these guys 'cause... 261 00:10:51,181 --> 00:10:53,682 I don't know who these people are. 262 00:10:53,684 --> 00:10:55,751 Ooh, is that cake? 263 00:10:55,753 --> 00:10:57,253 I love cake. 264 00:10:57,255 --> 00:10:59,054 All right, son. 265 00:10:59,056 --> 00:11:01,523 You've had your little joke. 266 00:11:01,525 --> 00:11:03,359 Now just move along. 267 00:11:03,361 --> 00:11:05,394 It's not a joke, ma'am. 268 00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:06,696 He's my dad. 269 00:11:06,698 --> 00:11:09,499 All right, well, in typical fashion, 270 00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:11,701 my ingenious friends at The Jonathan Club 271 00:11:11,703 --> 00:11:14,537 just don't know when to end the sketch. 272 00:11:14,539 --> 00:11:15,738 I'm just gonna take a moment 273 00:11:15,740 --> 00:11:19,542 to tip this little thespian for his stirring performance 274 00:11:19,544 --> 00:11:23,314 and I'll be back before you finish your cake. 275 00:11:24,681 --> 00:11:27,182 All right, I'm afraid I'm unaware of the protocols 276 00:11:27,184 --> 00:11:29,818 when it comes to gratuities for embarrassment 277 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:31,155 so bear with me. 278 00:11:32,424 --> 00:11:34,190 50 gonna do it? 279 00:11:34,192 --> 00:11:35,224 What are you talking about? 280 00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:36,392 I am talking about your tip. 281 00:11:36,394 --> 00:11:37,726 Just take it and tell whoever sent you 282 00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:39,662 that you did an absolutely smashing job 283 00:11:39,664 --> 00:11:41,197 of disrupting my evening. 284 00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:42,465 I don't want your money. 285 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:43,432 Look, kid, take it. 286 00:11:43,434 --> 00:11:45,067 I'm not usually this generous. 287 00:11:45,069 --> 00:11:48,203 Listen, I need you to find my mom. 288 00:11:48,205 --> 00:11:49,471 Buddy, I don't know you 289 00:11:49,473 --> 00:11:50,673 so I wouldn't know who your mother is. 290 00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:53,809 Well, you must have known her, at least a little bit. 291 00:11:53,811 --> 00:11:54,644 Why? 292 00:11:54,646 --> 00:11:55,677 Because you're my dad. 293 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:56,578 Look, stop saying that. 294 00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:57,312 I'm not your dad. 295 00:11:57,314 --> 00:11:57,980 - But you are. - No, I'm not. 296 00:11:57,982 --> 00:11:58,847 - Yes, you are. - I'm not! 297 00:11:58,849 --> 00:12:00,649 - Yes, you are! - Stop contradicting me. 298 00:12:00,651 --> 00:12:01,451 See? 299 00:12:01,453 --> 00:12:02,284 You sound like a father. 300 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,251 I do not. 301 00:12:03,253 --> 00:12:03,852 - Yes, you do. - I do not. 302 00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:05,120 But really, you do. 303 00:12:05,122 --> 00:12:06,721 Look, this is ridiculous. 304 00:12:06,723 --> 00:12:08,124 No, thank you, we're all set. 305 00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:08,857 What does he want? 306 00:12:08,859 --> 00:12:09,792 He wants to give us a towel. 307 00:12:09,794 --> 00:12:10,625 Why? 308 00:12:10,627 --> 00:12:11,860 'Cause it's his job. 309 00:12:11,862 --> 00:12:12,562 Well, why don't you take a towel and let him do his job? 310 00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:13,361 'Cause I don't want a towel! 311 00:12:13,363 --> 00:12:14,163 I wanna get rid of you and get back 312 00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:15,798 - to my wedding rehearsal. - Thanks. 313 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,166 Can I keep this? 314 00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:17,866 No, yes, whatever, I don't care. 315 00:12:17,868 --> 00:12:19,268 I don't care at all. 316 00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:20,870 Just take the money, kid, and get outta here. 317 00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,404 Nick? 318 00:12:22,406 --> 00:12:24,273 What's going on? 319 00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:25,107 Is she supposed to be in here? 320 00:12:25,109 --> 00:12:26,308 NICK AND SYDNEY: No. 321 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,243 Don't worry, Syd, I'm handling it. 322 00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:28,711 Everyone's waiting for you. 323 00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:29,846 Did you know this man gives free towels to people? 324 00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:31,880 Oh, hi, thank you. 325 00:12:31,882 --> 00:12:33,648 Nick, do you have a...? 326 00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:34,749 Yes, here, thank you so much. 327 00:12:34,751 --> 00:12:36,751 - Gotta go, coming through. - That's for the towels. 328 00:12:36,753 --> 00:12:39,221 Look, Syd, I'll be right there, okay? 329 00:12:39,223 --> 00:12:40,456 I'm just wrapping things up 330 00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:41,657 with our wonderful performer there. 331 00:12:41,659 --> 00:12:42,825 Okay, please hurry. 332 00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:43,893 Yeah, two minutes, love. 333 00:12:43,895 --> 00:12:44,730 I promise. 334 00:12:47,131 --> 00:12:48,663 So what's the plan, Dad? 335 00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:49,499 Stop calling me that, all right? 336 00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:50,600 I'm not your dad. 337 00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,869 Where'd you get that stupid idea from anyway, huh? 338 00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:54,637 From him. 339 00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:55,741 How do you do? 340 00:12:57,842 --> 00:13:00,375 I am The Amazing Fabular. 341 00:13:00,377 --> 00:13:02,144 What is that, a service rat? 342 00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:03,812 Mr. Sparkles is a dog. 343 00:13:03,814 --> 00:13:05,447 He is my portal to other dimensions 344 00:13:05,449 --> 00:13:06,749 of sight and sound that provide me 345 00:13:06,751 --> 00:13:09,284 with the gift of clairvoyance. 346 00:13:09,286 --> 00:13:11,921 Oh, you're a fortune teller? 347 00:13:11,923 --> 00:13:12,754 (LAUGHS) 348 00:13:12,756 --> 00:13:15,557 I am a world-class psychic, sir. 349 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,426 I have clients among persons 350 00:13:17,428 --> 00:13:19,828 of the most well-known celebrity and high society. 351 00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,831 Yeah, and here you are in the men's room. 352 00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:24,866 Hmm, as unaccustomed as I am 353 00:13:24,868 --> 00:13:26,701 to having to avouch my credentials 354 00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:28,504 within earshot of a public commode, 355 00:13:28,506 --> 00:13:30,907 I can tell you that unequivocally, this boy tells the truth. 356 00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:32,508 You are his father. 357 00:13:32,510 --> 00:13:33,341 Oh, yeah? 358 00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:35,811 What makes you so sure? 359 00:13:35,813 --> 00:13:38,313 Mr. Sparkles told me. 360 00:13:38,315 --> 00:13:40,182 (GIGGLING) 361 00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:42,618 Oh, excuse me, let me get this straight. 362 00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,486 You want me to believe that this man-child here 363 00:13:44,488 --> 00:13:45,855 is the fruit of my loins 364 00:13:45,857 --> 00:13:49,392 because you received a cosmic message 365 00:13:49,394 --> 00:13:50,625 through the strange little rodent 366 00:13:50,627 --> 00:13:51,726 that's tucked in your armpit? 367 00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:52,727 Is that it? 368 00:13:52,729 --> 00:13:54,429 Precisely, ruff! 369 00:13:54,431 --> 00:13:55,965 Excuse me, I'm due back on planet Earth. 370 00:13:55,967 --> 00:14:00,769 Uh-uh, perhaps, these DNA results will convince you. 371 00:14:00,771 --> 00:14:01,672 DNA what? 372 00:14:08,846 --> 00:14:10,712 Nicholas, Nicholas! 373 00:14:10,714 --> 00:14:13,749 What is this crap about me gettin' cut off, huh? 374 00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:15,585 It's humiliating. 375 00:14:15,587 --> 00:14:17,852 Nicholas, what has gotten into you? 376 00:14:17,854 --> 00:14:19,688 I mean, what in the world is going on? 377 00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,490 I am very disappointed in you. 378 00:14:21,492 --> 00:14:22,658 Tell Syd 379 00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:23,525 - that I will be right in. - And by the way, 380 00:14:23,527 --> 00:14:25,794 who the, is that kid? 381 00:14:25,796 --> 00:14:27,395 - I will be right back. - Money into this... 382 00:14:27,397 --> 00:14:28,397 Take the reverend with you. 383 00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,869 Get him a drink, get me one, too. 384 00:14:32,536 --> 00:14:34,971 All right, I don't know what to make of this. 385 00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:38,874 And you've kind of caught me at an awkward moment so just 386 00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:40,909 meet me at this address at 11 p.m. tonight. 387 00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:42,278 Can you do that? 388 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,312 Sure. 389 00:14:43,314 --> 00:14:44,779 All right. 390 00:14:44,781 --> 00:14:46,014 Why don't you take that towel and get rid of that thing 391 00:14:46,016 --> 00:14:48,753 that's hanging from your nostril, kid? 392 00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,622 Thanks, Dad. 393 00:14:52,689 --> 00:14:53,889 (FAKE LAUGHING) 394 00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:55,394 See you tonight. 395 00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:58,927 I see good things in your future. 396 00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:00,929 Bye, Mom, bye, Dad. 397 00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:03,666 - Goodbye, cake eater. - I love you so, so much. 398 00:15:03,668 --> 00:15:04,966 Thank you for everything. 399 00:15:04,968 --> 00:15:06,001 I'll see you Sunday 400 00:15:06,003 --> 00:15:07,370 - at the wedding. - Love you, honey. 401 00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:09,304 - I love you, Dad. - Bye, dear. 402 00:15:09,306 --> 00:15:10,605 Oh, bye, bye, guys. 403 00:15:10,607 --> 00:15:11,440 SYDNEY: Hey. 404 00:15:11,442 --> 00:15:12,374 Sorry. 405 00:15:12,376 --> 00:15:13,408 What was that all about? 406 00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:14,342 What? 407 00:15:14,344 --> 00:15:15,977 The whole kid prank thing? 408 00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:17,013 Who would do that? 409 00:15:17,015 --> 00:15:17,913 That's not cool. 410 00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:19,548 I know, it was so tasteless, right? 411 00:15:19,550 --> 00:15:21,049 And that kid wouldn't tell me who hired him. 412 00:15:21,051 --> 00:15:23,318 He must have been paid a lot of money. 413 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:23,952 He's a good actor. 414 00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:25,388 Yeah. 415 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,322 Anyway, it's an awkward memory now. 416 00:15:27,324 --> 00:15:29,357 Hey, this book publicity has just got me exhausted. 417 00:15:29,359 --> 00:15:30,993 My bed is calling me. 418 00:15:30,995 --> 00:15:32,628 Oh, yeah, honey, I understand. 419 00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:33,663 Why don't you go get some sleep? 420 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:34,596 - Okay. - I'm gonna stay 421 00:15:34,598 --> 00:15:36,065 and have a drink with Kelly. 422 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:37,966 I'm gonna drink, she's gonna eat cake. 423 00:15:37,968 --> 00:15:39,302 NICK: Okay. 424 00:15:39,304 --> 00:15:40,302 Hey, Syd? 425 00:15:40,304 --> 00:15:40,936 SYDNEY: Yes? 426 00:15:40,938 --> 00:15:42,304 I love you. 427 00:15:42,306 --> 00:15:43,639 You'd better, there's no going back now. 428 00:15:43,641 --> 00:15:44,874 But I will see you tomorrow. 429 00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:46,008 We've gotta go over music for the band 430 00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,777 and seating arrangements. 431 00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:48,677 Can't wait. 432 00:15:48,679 --> 00:15:50,046 Mwah, 10:15! 433 00:15:50,048 --> 00:15:50,913 With bells on! 434 00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:51,750 Okay. 435 00:15:55,053 --> 00:15:56,085 He seems in a hurry. 436 00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:57,720 SYDNEY: He's dead tired, Kelly. 437 00:15:57,722 --> 00:15:58,921 Uh-huh. 438 00:15:58,923 --> 00:16:00,089 SYDNEY: What's that supposed to mean? 439 00:16:00,091 --> 00:16:02,557 Uh-huh, from the Latin. 440 00:16:02,559 --> 00:16:04,360 Uh meaning he's acting fishy, 441 00:16:04,362 --> 00:16:06,328 and huh meaning he's up to something. 442 00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:08,029 Okay, spare me your paranoid fantasies. 443 00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:10,466 I know you don't like Nick but you gotta get used to him. 444 00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:12,067 As of Sunday, he's family. 445 00:16:12,069 --> 00:16:13,668 I like him fine. 446 00:16:13,670 --> 00:16:16,004 He's just, you know, he's a little, 447 00:16:16,006 --> 00:16:17,673 a little too perfect. 448 00:16:17,675 --> 00:16:18,974 You talking about in bed? 449 00:16:18,976 --> 00:16:20,011 What? 450 00:16:21,612 --> 00:16:25,581 - Don't hit my belly! - I didn't mean to! 451 00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:26,548 Can I have your wine? 452 00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:27,383 No, you can't have wine. 453 00:16:27,385 --> 00:16:28,017 Can I have a sip? 454 00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:29,788 No wine, no sips. 455 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:36,926 First of all, absolutely no one 456 00:16:36,928 --> 00:16:38,594 can know about this meeting. 457 00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:40,096 Is that clear? 458 00:16:40,098 --> 00:16:41,663 Perhaps we should talk in code 459 00:16:41,665 --> 00:16:43,065 in case your house has been bugged 460 00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:45,033 by the secret paternity police? 461 00:16:45,035 --> 00:16:47,036 I'm so glad you're amused by this. 462 00:16:47,038 --> 00:16:48,604 You have no idea what this could do to me. 463 00:16:48,606 --> 00:16:49,941 Oh, yes, I do. 464 00:16:50,942 --> 00:16:52,174 Scandal! 465 00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:55,043 Man who makes fun of people who have children for a living 466 00:16:55,045 --> 00:16:57,145 doesn't know he has one of his own. 467 00:16:57,147 --> 00:16:58,547 Tabloids love that kind of stuff. 468 00:16:58,549 --> 00:17:00,482 It's not just that. 469 00:17:00,484 --> 00:17:01,116 It's Sydney. 470 00:17:01,118 --> 00:17:02,784 Who's he? 471 00:17:02,786 --> 00:17:05,520 She is my fiancee and we're getting married on Sunday. 472 00:17:05,522 --> 00:17:06,489 What's wrong? 473 00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:08,457 You don't think she'll like me? 474 00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:11,160 Well, children aren't part of our plan. 475 00:17:11,162 --> 00:17:13,561 Well, you should have made that plan before you made me. 476 00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:15,698 Preach the gospel. 477 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,799 That's insane. 478 00:17:17,801 --> 00:17:21,036 How do I even know that this is my DNA? 479 00:17:21,038 --> 00:17:23,605 Well, about six months ago, 480 00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,641 I was listening to Fabular's radio show. 481 00:17:25,643 --> 00:17:27,710 DEEJAY: Saturday mornings, we have The Amazing Fabular. 482 00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:29,979 Which I really like to listen to every Saturday. 483 00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:32,615 I like the extra sensory perception and stuff. 484 00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:36,519 And all of a sudden, The Amazing Fabular says... 485 00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:37,356 Mason? 486 00:17:38,522 --> 00:17:40,692 I know who your father is. 487 00:17:41,858 --> 00:17:44,993 So of course I'm like, wait a second. 488 00:17:44,995 --> 00:17:49,164 My name is Mason so maybe I'm the Mason he's talking about. 489 00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:52,601 So I call up the show and Fabular tells me it's me 490 00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:56,971 and that my dad's a famous writer named Nick Pearson. 491 00:17:56,973 --> 00:17:57,975 That's you. 492 00:17:59,109 --> 00:18:00,875 Yes, I know that that's me. 493 00:18:00,877 --> 00:18:02,111 I mean, what are the odds? 494 00:18:02,113 --> 00:18:05,114 Crazy ones, if you think about it because when I was born, 495 00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:07,082 Mason was a super popular name, 496 00:18:07,084 --> 00:18:10,085 so there are like a kajillion Masons. 497 00:18:10,087 --> 00:18:11,453 Sure, okay. 498 00:18:11,455 --> 00:18:12,821 So then I went on the internet 499 00:18:12,823 --> 00:18:14,656 and I Googled Nick Pearson. 500 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,759 And a lot of stuff came up about how you write books, 501 00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:18,861 about how you hate kids and little dogs. 502 00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:20,195 Yeah, and I hate psychics. 503 00:18:20,197 --> 00:18:22,163 Where are your manners? 504 00:18:22,165 --> 00:18:24,165 Go on, come on. 505 00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:26,134 Get to the DNA bit. 506 00:18:26,136 --> 00:18:28,938 Right, well, I needed some part of your body. 507 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:30,940 So I went on eBay and I found somebody 508 00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,540 selling a lock of your hair. 509 00:18:32,542 --> 00:18:33,642 What? 510 00:18:33,644 --> 00:18:35,243 Yeah, it's your barber. 511 00:18:35,245 --> 00:18:37,078 He collects the hair of his famous clients 512 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,849 and sells it on eBay. 513 00:18:40,251 --> 00:18:42,151 That could be anybody's hair. 514 00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:44,619 Is your barber named Nino Spaghettios? 515 00:18:44,621 --> 00:18:46,255 Nino Spanetti. 516 00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:48,156 Oh, my god. 517 00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:51,527 So then I bid on the auction and I won. 518 00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:55,196 Then I found a place on the internet that does DNA testing. 519 00:18:55,198 --> 00:19:00,204 So I cut off a piece of my hair and sent in those samples. 520 00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:05,143 A few weeks later, the results came back. 521 00:19:07,244 --> 00:19:09,044 It was a match! 522 00:19:09,046 --> 00:19:10,011 Yes! 523 00:19:10,013 --> 00:19:10,848 Yes, yes! 524 00:19:11,915 --> 00:19:14,215 So then I called The Amazing Fabular to tell him 525 00:19:14,217 --> 00:19:16,050 and he said he wanted see the look on your face 526 00:19:16,052 --> 00:19:17,553 when I told you. 527 00:19:17,555 --> 00:19:20,559 There's nothing like live theater. 528 00:19:24,861 --> 00:19:27,162 I know what I'm gonna title my next book. 529 00:19:27,164 --> 00:19:31,232 I Hate the Internet and Hairstylists. 530 00:19:31,234 --> 00:19:33,237 Don't forget psychics. 531 00:19:35,071 --> 00:19:36,073 All right. 532 00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:39,008 What do you want, kid? 533 00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,542 I just wanna find my mom. 534 00:19:40,544 --> 00:19:41,479 Your mom? 535 00:19:42,646 --> 00:19:44,779 Who's been taking care of you all these years? 536 00:19:44,781 --> 00:19:46,949 I have a foster mother. 537 00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:48,584 Annie Gordon. 538 00:19:48,586 --> 00:19:50,219 This is really good, Annie. 539 00:19:50,221 --> 00:19:52,988 But she's getting really old. 540 00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,925 And she has narcolepsy. 541 00:19:57,194 --> 00:19:58,093 Annie? 542 00:19:58,095 --> 00:19:59,929 She can't take care of herself anymore 543 00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:02,964 so she's being moved into a home 544 00:20:02,966 --> 00:20:06,035 which means I'll end up back in foster care. 545 00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:09,971 That's why she let me come here with Fabular to find my mom. 546 00:20:09,973 --> 00:20:13,909 A wise, wise woman, with an acute sense of character. 547 00:20:13,911 --> 00:20:16,778 I imagine she wouldn't like you very much. 548 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,114 Look, I know you don't want me, Nick 549 00:20:19,116 --> 00:20:20,782 because you're famous for hating kids and all. 550 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:24,255 No, I don't exactly hate kids. 551 00:20:24,955 --> 00:20:28,792 You're the only one who knows who my mom is. 552 00:20:32,863 --> 00:20:34,866 Okay, how old are you? 553 00:20:35,832 --> 00:20:36,634 13. 554 00:20:37,635 --> 00:20:38,837 13 plus nine. 555 00:20:40,704 --> 00:20:43,875 Where was I 14 years ago? 556 00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:48,076 Oh, my god. 557 00:20:48,078 --> 00:20:51,279 All right, this is gonna be more difficult than I thought. 558 00:20:51,281 --> 00:20:56,117 Let's say I was acquainted with a lotta different ladies 559 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:57,685 at that time of my life. 560 00:20:57,687 --> 00:20:58,753 How quaint. 561 00:20:58,755 --> 00:20:59,954 And that's the other issue. 562 00:20:59,956 --> 00:21:03,692 I don't want my fiancee or my in-laws to know about this 563 00:21:03,694 --> 00:21:05,827 bountiful romantic history of mine. 564 00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,762 You have such a way with words. 565 00:21:07,764 --> 00:21:09,932 You really should be writing cards for Hallmark. 566 00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:11,666 Hey, if you're such a good psychic, 567 00:21:11,668 --> 00:21:14,369 how come you can't see who his mother is? 568 00:21:14,371 --> 00:21:16,404 Because this journey was meant 569 00:21:16,406 --> 00:21:17,839 for the both of you to take together. 570 00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:19,307 Isn't that right, Mr. Sparkles? 571 00:21:19,309 --> 00:21:20,177 (BARKS) 572 00:21:22,379 --> 00:21:23,581 All right. 573 00:21:26,117 --> 00:21:29,852 Despite the chorus of voices in my head 574 00:21:29,854 --> 00:21:31,086 that are screaming like banshees 575 00:21:31,088 --> 00:21:34,259 to run like hell from you two weirdos, 576 00:21:36,059 --> 00:21:37,358 I'll help you. 577 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:38,460 Really? 578 00:21:38,462 --> 00:21:43,265 But the deal is I will give you two days of my time 579 00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:46,367 and if we don't discover who your mom is by then, 580 00:21:46,369 --> 00:21:47,303 you move on, I move on 581 00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:49,070 and we close this chapter of our lives. 582 00:21:49,072 --> 00:21:50,138 Is that clear? 583 00:21:50,140 --> 00:21:50,941 Deal. 584 00:21:55,745 --> 00:21:57,445 All right, meet me back here tomorrow morning. 585 00:21:57,447 --> 00:22:00,048 I'll research the possibilities. 586 00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:01,416 And with any luck, I'll wake up 587 00:22:01,418 --> 00:22:05,319 and this will be a bourbon-induced nightmare. 588 00:22:05,321 --> 00:22:06,788 Let us take leave of this Lothario 589 00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:08,723 and investigate the many places this man 590 00:22:08,725 --> 00:22:10,895 may have planted his seed. 591 00:22:12,096 --> 00:22:14,098 We'll see ourselves out. 592 00:22:14,999 --> 00:22:16,832 Night, Dad. 593 00:22:16,834 --> 00:22:18,901 Good night, kid. 594 00:22:18,903 --> 00:22:19,971 It's Mason. 595 00:22:20,870 --> 00:22:22,339 Good night, Mason. 596 00:22:32,782 --> 00:22:35,953 (MELLOW GUITAR MUSIC) 597 00:22:40,724 --> 00:22:41,824 Thank you. 598 00:22:41,826 --> 00:22:43,092 Thanks, come again. 599 00:22:43,094 --> 00:22:45,394 (PHONE RINGING) 600 00:22:45,396 --> 00:22:47,028 Hey, sweetheart, where are you? 601 00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:47,930 Don't say late. 602 00:22:47,932 --> 00:22:48,797 Where is he? 603 00:22:48,799 --> 00:22:50,265 (HUSHES) 604 00:22:50,267 --> 00:22:53,268 Hey, look, Syd, a little situation came up. 605 00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:54,435 A situation? 606 00:22:54,437 --> 00:22:55,804 Oh, really? 607 00:22:55,806 --> 00:22:57,105 I said, shush! 608 00:22:57,107 --> 00:22:58,073 What'd you say? 609 00:22:58,075 --> 00:22:58,906 Not you, hon. 610 00:22:58,908 --> 00:23:00,409 What's going on? 611 00:23:00,411 --> 00:23:03,112 Oh, well, so I got a call from Albert this morning. 612 00:23:03,114 --> 00:23:06,381 It turns out one of their college circuit lecturers 613 00:23:06,383 --> 00:23:07,782 dropped out. 614 00:23:07,784 --> 00:23:10,486 I gotta pop up to Santa Barbara and fill in. 615 00:23:10,488 --> 00:23:12,121 And you agreed? 616 00:23:12,123 --> 00:23:13,489 You've gotta be kidding me, Nick! 617 00:23:13,491 --> 00:23:14,789 What is it? 618 00:23:14,791 --> 00:23:16,025 - What is he doing? - Stop! 619 00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:18,227 I know that the timing is inconvenient but it's Albert. 620 00:23:18,229 --> 00:23:19,461 It's not like I can say no to him. 621 00:23:19,463 --> 00:23:20,796 He's my publisher, babe. 622 00:23:20,798 --> 00:23:22,364 A little inconvenient? 623 00:23:22,366 --> 00:23:24,432 The wedding is this Sunday! 624 00:23:24,434 --> 00:23:26,067 I mean, can't they find somebody else? 625 00:23:26,069 --> 00:23:28,403 Maybe somebody who isn't about to celebrate 626 00:23:28,405 --> 00:23:30,905 the most important day of their entire life? 627 00:23:30,907 --> 00:23:32,540 I'll only be gone a day. 628 00:23:32,542 --> 00:23:33,374 Maybe two. 629 00:23:33,376 --> 00:23:34,308 Two? 630 00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:36,244 I don't know what to say. 631 00:23:36,246 --> 00:23:37,479 I'll be back before you know it. 632 00:23:37,481 --> 00:23:39,181 Besides, don't they say it's bad luck 633 00:23:39,183 --> 00:23:41,450 for the groom to see the bride before the wedding? 634 00:23:41,452 --> 00:23:44,086 But they don't mean the whole weekend! 635 00:23:44,088 --> 00:23:46,855 And I love how understanding you're being, honey. 636 00:23:46,857 --> 00:23:49,258 No, I'm actually not being understanding. 637 00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:52,161 This is not the sound of someone being understanding. 638 00:23:52,163 --> 00:23:53,561 Oh, my gosh. 639 00:23:53,563 --> 00:23:55,263 Okay, so now you suddenly have to disappear 640 00:23:55,265 --> 00:23:57,065 for a few days right before your own wedding? 641 00:23:57,067 --> 00:23:58,432 That sounds pretty suspicious to me, Nick. 642 00:23:58,434 --> 00:24:00,501 Hey, Kelly, my favorite sister. 643 00:24:00,503 --> 00:24:02,471 KELLY: In-law. 644 00:24:02,473 --> 00:24:04,138 All right, look, I gotta get going 645 00:24:04,140 --> 00:24:07,111 so tell Syd I'll ring her when I get there, bye. 646 00:24:10,580 --> 00:24:12,815 I'm telling you, he's up to something. 647 00:24:12,817 --> 00:24:14,549 Maybe it is something good. 648 00:24:14,551 --> 00:24:16,951 Did you ever think of that? 649 00:24:16,953 --> 00:24:21,056 No, Sydney, there is something he's not telling you. 650 00:24:21,058 --> 00:24:22,223 And I think it has something to do 651 00:24:22,225 --> 00:24:24,058 with that kid from last night. 652 00:24:24,060 --> 00:24:26,461 Nick just explained the situation 653 00:24:26,463 --> 00:24:28,262 and I have no reason not to trust him. 654 00:24:28,264 --> 00:24:30,164 I'm just saying. 655 00:24:30,166 --> 00:24:31,336 I have to pee. 656 00:24:32,936 --> 00:24:34,603 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 657 00:24:34,605 --> 00:24:35,837 The baby's kicking! 658 00:24:35,839 --> 00:24:36,471 You wanna feel it? 659 00:24:36,473 --> 00:24:37,940 No, I'm okay. 660 00:24:37,942 --> 00:24:39,141 No, no, come on, feel it, feel it. 661 00:24:39,143 --> 00:24:40,075 No, I actually don't wanna feel it. 662 00:24:40,077 --> 00:24:41,076 Just feel it for a second. 663 00:24:41,078 --> 00:24:41,676 - Just for a second. - Actually, I don't really 664 00:24:41,678 --> 00:24:42,377 - want to. - No, come here. 665 00:24:42,379 --> 00:24:45,513 Say hello to your Aunt Sydney! 666 00:24:45,515 --> 00:24:47,449 Ooh, it's just so weird! 667 00:24:47,451 --> 00:24:48,851 It's so strange! 668 00:24:48,853 --> 00:24:51,053 Why can't human beings just lay eggs 669 00:24:51,055 --> 00:24:53,888 like more sensible species of the animal kingdom? 670 00:24:53,890 --> 00:24:55,590 Like peacocks and platypuses. 671 00:24:55,592 --> 00:24:57,896 It's just so much easier. 672 00:25:06,036 --> 00:25:07,869 Ow! 673 00:25:07,871 --> 00:25:10,239 (SHRIEKS) 674 00:25:10,241 --> 00:25:11,573 Whoa, what the? 675 00:25:11,575 --> 00:25:12,477 Surprise. 676 00:25:13,877 --> 00:25:14,777 How'd you get in here? 677 00:25:14,779 --> 00:25:16,411 You said to come back in the morning. 678 00:25:16,413 --> 00:25:18,547 The door was unlocked. 679 00:25:18,549 --> 00:25:20,615 What are you doing to my furniture? 680 00:25:20,617 --> 00:25:22,550 The feng shui was off. 681 00:25:22,552 --> 00:25:24,486 It simply had to be done. 682 00:25:24,488 --> 00:25:26,488 Fabular needs room to have a clean aura 683 00:25:26,490 --> 00:25:27,890 to receive messages. 684 00:25:27,892 --> 00:25:29,391 Yeah? 685 00:25:29,393 --> 00:25:31,526 Is he receiving the message I'm sending him right now? 686 00:25:31,528 --> 00:25:32,961 Do you loofah? 687 00:25:32,963 --> 00:25:33,929 Do I what? 688 00:25:33,931 --> 00:25:35,463 Loofah, I mean, do you loofah? 689 00:25:35,465 --> 00:25:36,298 I don't loofah. 690 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:37,598 You should loofah. 691 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,268 I don't wanna loofah. 692 00:25:39,270 --> 00:25:40,903 It removes the dead cells 693 00:25:40,905 --> 00:25:45,274 and helps add a delightful luster to your skin. 694 00:25:45,276 --> 00:25:47,375 I got a book on the New York Times Best Seller list. 695 00:25:47,377 --> 00:25:49,146 I don't need a delightful luster. 696 00:25:49,413 --> 00:25:50,415 (SQUISHING SOUND) 697 00:25:53,082 --> 00:25:55,152 (WHINES) 698 00:25:56,319 --> 00:25:59,957 Your rat took a dump on my carpet. 699 00:26:01,457 --> 00:26:03,624 Oh, Mr. Sparkles! 700 00:26:03,626 --> 00:26:07,098 Why didn't you tell me you needed to make a stinky? 701 00:26:08,933 --> 00:26:11,133 Santa Barbara, huh? 702 00:26:11,135 --> 00:26:13,134 Ooh, maybe you should pop by for a surprise visit. 703 00:26:13,136 --> 00:26:14,670 Ha, ha, that's funny 704 00:26:14,672 --> 00:26:16,672 but we still have to hit the bridal shop and nail salon. 705 00:26:16,674 --> 00:26:18,406 Okay, I was just saying, I thought it'd be a nice gesture. 706 00:26:18,408 --> 00:26:20,509 That would be a sneaky and suspicious gesture. 707 00:26:20,511 --> 00:26:21,676 Only if he's actually there. 708 00:26:21,678 --> 00:26:22,544 Of course he's there! 709 00:26:22,546 --> 00:26:23,679 Just stop it, Kelly. 710 00:26:23,681 --> 00:26:25,579 There's no way you're getting into my head on this. 711 00:26:25,581 --> 00:26:26,647 I'm pretty sure I will. 712 00:26:26,649 --> 00:26:28,652 Just drink your juice. 713 00:26:31,454 --> 00:26:32,653 Last night, I sorted through all these letters 714 00:26:32,655 --> 00:26:36,191 and address books and I came up with a few possibilities. 715 00:26:36,193 --> 00:26:39,030 Mmm, I'm sensing something here. 716 00:26:40,297 --> 00:26:41,696 Oh, I'm so glad you're here 717 00:26:41,698 --> 00:26:44,066 to substantiate all my research. 718 00:26:44,068 --> 00:26:46,367 I'm getting an A. 719 00:26:46,369 --> 00:26:48,069 A really big A. 720 00:26:48,071 --> 00:26:49,971 Well, that makes two of us. 721 00:26:49,973 --> 00:26:51,640 Such darkness! 722 00:26:51,642 --> 00:26:54,108 Well, I'm filled with darkness before my morning coffee. 723 00:26:54,110 --> 00:26:55,344 You can make fun of me all you wish 724 00:26:55,346 --> 00:26:56,979 but I'm still the one who identified you 725 00:26:56,981 --> 00:26:57,680 as the boy's father. 726 00:26:57,682 --> 00:26:59,647 Yep, you keep telling me that. 727 00:26:59,649 --> 00:27:00,682 But I'm the one who had to figure out 728 00:27:00,684 --> 00:27:03,352 which of three Christines might be his mother. 729 00:27:03,354 --> 00:27:04,685 Three Christine's? 730 00:27:04,687 --> 00:27:05,721 Yeah, three Christine's, two Jennifer's, 731 00:27:05,723 --> 00:27:07,288 two Barbara's, four Patty's... 732 00:27:07,290 --> 00:27:09,758 ♪ And a partridge in a pear tree ♪ 733 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,259 Please don't sing ever again. 734 00:27:12,261 --> 00:27:14,462 All right, the point is anyway that I managed to pinpoint 735 00:27:14,464 --> 00:27:16,565 the ones who mathematically fit the chronology. 736 00:27:16,567 --> 00:27:19,233 And none of them begin with A. 737 00:27:19,235 --> 00:27:22,403 So then, how do we figure out which one's my mother? 738 00:27:22,405 --> 00:27:23,739 We're gonna take a little road trip. 739 00:27:23,741 --> 00:27:25,374 I contacted the ladies, they know we're coming, 740 00:27:25,376 --> 00:27:27,041 they just don't know why yet. 741 00:27:27,043 --> 00:27:28,676 Why wouldn't you just ask them? 742 00:27:28,678 --> 00:27:29,744 Because I think something as delicate 743 00:27:29,746 --> 00:27:31,480 as one's potential maternity 744 00:27:31,482 --> 00:27:33,714 is probably best discussed face to face. 745 00:27:33,716 --> 00:27:34,649 Got ya. 746 00:27:34,651 --> 00:27:35,784 All right, let's get goin'. 747 00:27:35,786 --> 00:27:36,617 We have a large amount of people 748 00:27:36,619 --> 00:27:38,353 to cover in a small amount of time. 749 00:27:38,355 --> 00:27:40,321 Not unlike your illustrious past. 750 00:27:40,323 --> 00:27:41,623 Does he really need to come? 751 00:27:41,625 --> 00:27:42,259 Definitely. 752 00:27:43,126 --> 00:27:44,492 Let it be known that I require 753 00:27:44,494 --> 00:27:46,528 this safari of yours to end early 754 00:27:46,530 --> 00:27:49,463 as I'm supposed to be at the Holiday Inn Burbank on Friday 755 00:27:49,465 --> 00:27:51,700 to deliver a keynote speech to a symposium of my peers. 756 00:27:51,702 --> 00:27:53,434 And my peers tend to be snippy. 757 00:27:53,436 --> 00:27:55,202 If we're not done by then, I'll have a lot more to answer 758 00:27:55,204 --> 00:27:57,405 to than a bunch of phony soothsayers. 759 00:27:57,407 --> 00:27:59,708 Guys, this car only has two seats. 760 00:27:59,710 --> 00:28:00,712 Right. 761 00:28:01,678 --> 00:28:03,478 I guess we'll have to take the Fab-Mobile. 762 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:04,712 The Fab-Mobile? 763 00:28:04,714 --> 00:28:06,149 The Fab-Mobile. 764 00:28:08,719 --> 00:28:09,754 Perfect. 765 00:28:10,820 --> 00:28:15,222 So, what's the name of this first member of your 766 00:28:15,224 --> 00:28:17,462 countless sexual conquests? 767 00:28:18,361 --> 00:28:20,394 Carla Intintoli. 768 00:28:20,396 --> 00:28:22,230 I like the name Carla. 769 00:28:22,232 --> 00:28:23,734 Carla Intintoli. 770 00:28:24,768 --> 00:28:26,134 She is from Italy. 771 00:28:26,136 --> 00:28:28,737 No, her dad's Brazilian. 772 00:28:28,739 --> 00:28:29,640 Yes, he is. 773 00:28:30,773 --> 00:28:33,708 He was a farmer and he used his hand 774 00:28:33,710 --> 00:28:34,776 to make money for the family. 775 00:28:34,778 --> 00:28:36,144 What are you doing? 776 00:28:36,146 --> 00:28:37,078 Are you doing psychic stuff right now? 777 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,145 Don't do that right now, okay? 778 00:28:38,147 --> 00:28:39,713 I can't help my blessings. 779 00:28:39,715 --> 00:28:41,516 They just come to me, Nick. 780 00:28:41,518 --> 00:28:42,750 Really? 781 00:28:42,752 --> 00:28:44,385 I thought Mr. Sparkles here was the gifted one. 782 00:28:44,387 --> 00:28:46,755 Well, it goes to Sparkles, then to Fabular. 783 00:28:46,757 --> 00:28:48,459 All right, okay. 784 00:28:49,358 --> 00:28:50,791 Just don't say anything 785 00:28:50,793 --> 00:28:53,761 'cause I don't wanna freak Carla out. 786 00:28:53,763 --> 00:28:55,665 It'll be my pleasure. 787 00:28:57,166 --> 00:28:59,101 You think she'll remember you? 788 00:28:59,103 --> 00:29:00,705 They never forget. 789 00:29:02,438 --> 00:29:05,108 (DOORBELL RING) 790 00:29:07,176 --> 00:29:08,777 Nick? 791 00:29:08,779 --> 00:29:10,345 Hi, Carla. 792 00:29:10,347 --> 00:29:11,779 CARLA: Is that really you? 793 00:29:11,781 --> 00:29:12,817 It's me. 794 00:29:14,617 --> 00:29:15,453 Wow. 795 00:29:16,453 --> 00:29:19,753 I never thought I'd have this opportunity again. 796 00:29:19,755 --> 00:29:21,490 Opportunity? 797 00:29:21,492 --> 00:29:25,596 (THUDS) (GRUNTS) 798 00:29:26,864 --> 00:29:28,864 I think it's great that she remembers you. 799 00:29:28,866 --> 00:29:31,465 Why was she so mad? 800 00:29:31,467 --> 00:29:34,336 Well, Mason, when relationships end, 801 00:29:34,338 --> 00:29:36,704 people get emotional because they gotta justify 802 00:29:36,706 --> 00:29:38,839 why they were with that person in the first place 803 00:29:38,841 --> 00:29:41,876 which can manifest itself in bitterness, resentment, 804 00:29:41,878 --> 00:29:43,481 hatred or violence. 805 00:29:45,148 --> 00:29:48,549 Okay, we have a triple patty burger with fries, well done 806 00:29:48,551 --> 00:29:51,586 and a strawberry shake with extra cherries. 807 00:29:51,588 --> 00:29:53,922 One small dinner salad, hold the croutons 808 00:29:53,924 --> 00:29:58,792 add extra garbanzo beans and dressing on the side. 809 00:29:58,794 --> 00:30:01,829 And one frozen bag of peas. 810 00:30:01,831 --> 00:30:02,833 Thank you. 811 00:30:04,835 --> 00:30:06,401 I have to pee. 812 00:30:06,403 --> 00:30:07,805 I'll be right back. 813 00:30:09,373 --> 00:30:11,640 Why do I get the feeling that every woman you ever dated 814 00:30:11,642 --> 00:30:13,407 has a bone to pick with you? 815 00:30:13,409 --> 00:30:16,813 I bet you racked up quite the bag of karma. 816 00:30:17,947 --> 00:30:20,347 Why don't you stop your yammering and tell me the truth? 817 00:30:20,349 --> 00:30:21,482 I beg your pardon? 818 00:30:21,484 --> 00:30:22,750 What's really goin' on here? 819 00:30:22,752 --> 00:30:24,853 How much money are they giving you? 820 00:30:24,855 --> 00:30:26,288 Or are you looking to fleece 821 00:30:26,290 --> 00:30:29,557 this kid's foster mom out of her life savings? 822 00:30:29,559 --> 00:30:30,825 How dare you. 823 00:30:30,827 --> 00:30:32,560 What's goin' on? 824 00:30:32,562 --> 00:30:33,761 What's in it for you? 825 00:30:33,763 --> 00:30:34,828 The boy needed my help. 826 00:30:34,830 --> 00:30:36,533 Isn't that enough? 827 00:30:37,733 --> 00:30:39,800 For the record, if I do find out 828 00:30:39,802 --> 00:30:41,903 that you're using that kid for any reason, 829 00:30:41,905 --> 00:30:45,973 any reason at all, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you. 830 00:30:45,975 --> 00:30:49,743 Aw, you're gonna give me a knuckle sandwich? 831 00:30:49,745 --> 00:30:51,381 Whatever it takes. 832 00:30:52,316 --> 00:30:53,981 You call that a threat? 833 00:30:53,983 --> 00:30:54,585 Yeah. 834 00:30:55,851 --> 00:30:58,255 I am The Amazing Fabular. 835 00:30:59,556 --> 00:31:00,755 I've invoked the wrath 836 00:31:00,757 --> 00:31:03,924 of several hundred loyal radio listeners. 837 00:31:03,926 --> 00:31:05,160 I've been threatened by men the likes 838 00:31:05,162 --> 00:31:08,230 of which would leave you in need of reconstructive surgery. 839 00:31:08,232 --> 00:31:11,232 What's amazing is that reasonable people 840 00:31:11,234 --> 00:31:15,305 would actually take advice from someone like you. 841 00:31:20,243 --> 00:31:22,544 Sorry to bother you, but my father, 842 00:31:22,546 --> 00:31:24,011 he's a huge fan of your work 843 00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:25,913 and he said the check's on the house 844 00:31:25,915 --> 00:31:28,717 if we could get your autograph for the wall. 845 00:31:28,719 --> 00:31:29,550 Sure. 846 00:31:29,552 --> 00:31:31,952 I'd be delighted. 847 00:31:31,954 --> 00:31:34,021 What's your name? 848 00:31:34,023 --> 00:31:37,360 I'm sensing a D? 849 00:31:37,994 --> 00:31:39,760 Daisy. 850 00:31:39,762 --> 00:31:41,262 Wow! 851 00:31:41,264 --> 00:31:42,998 You're really good! 852 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,770 Your show is huge in Australia! 853 00:31:46,936 --> 00:31:49,570 I don't know if you remember a guy named Mickey 854 00:31:49,572 --> 00:31:52,007 calling in about five years ago? 855 00:31:52,009 --> 00:31:53,674 Yeah, well, anyway, that was my little brother 856 00:31:53,676 --> 00:31:57,612 and he had lost his baby kangaroo, Skippy. 857 00:31:57,614 --> 00:31:58,646 Skippy! 858 00:31:58,648 --> 00:31:59,882 Yeah! 859 00:31:59,884 --> 00:32:02,284 So anyway, you said that he missed his mum and hopped away 860 00:32:02,286 --> 00:32:03,852 and guess what? 861 00:32:03,854 --> 00:32:06,421 Five years later, my brother called me 862 00:32:06,423 --> 00:32:07,989 and said that he found Skippy 863 00:32:07,991 --> 00:32:10,392 hopping in a field with his mum! 864 00:32:10,394 --> 00:32:11,862 Skippy, he's safe! 865 00:32:22,705 --> 00:32:23,707 Thank you! 866 00:32:26,409 --> 00:32:27,911 How's your nose? 867 00:32:31,647 --> 00:32:33,414 Let's keep moving down the list, okay, Mason? 868 00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:35,383 All right, yeah. 869 00:32:35,385 --> 00:32:40,020 Well, Janice Bodicker? 870 00:32:40,022 --> 00:32:41,324 It's Bodicker. 871 00:32:42,626 --> 00:32:43,560 Bodicker? 872 00:32:45,628 --> 00:32:47,865 Kinda rolls off the tongue. 873 00:32:49,031 --> 00:32:49,833 Bodicker. 874 00:32:51,001 --> 00:32:53,034 (LAUGHING) 875 00:32:53,036 --> 00:32:54,038 Bodicker! 876 00:32:55,705 --> 00:32:56,506 Bodicker. 877 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,044 (LIGHT STEADY MUSIC) 878 00:33:12,588 --> 00:33:13,654 Nick. 879 00:33:13,656 --> 00:33:15,723 - Janice. - This is so exciting! 880 00:33:15,725 --> 00:33:17,358 The girls and I started baking you a cake 881 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:18,826 right after you called. 882 00:33:18,828 --> 00:33:20,095 That's so sweet. 883 00:33:20,097 --> 00:33:21,796 You didn't need to go to the trouble. 884 00:33:21,798 --> 00:33:23,030 Oh, no trouble at all. 885 00:33:23,032 --> 00:33:25,032 The girls just love when we have company. 886 00:33:25,034 --> 00:33:25,935 Come on in. 887 00:33:30,639 --> 00:33:31,474 Okay! 888 00:33:32,876 --> 00:33:35,977 Why don't you all just get yourselves acquainted? 889 00:33:35,979 --> 00:33:37,014 Be nice, Donna. 890 00:33:39,014 --> 00:33:40,917 And I'll be right back. 891 00:33:44,087 --> 00:33:45,854 I think I wanna wait in the car. 892 00:33:45,856 --> 00:33:47,989 Me too, it's so stuffy in here. 893 00:33:47,991 --> 00:33:49,156 And creepy. 894 00:33:49,158 --> 00:33:53,597 You boys must be thirsty. 895 00:33:55,132 --> 00:33:59,403 The one with the strawberry in it is yours, Nick. 896 00:34:00,703 --> 00:34:01,705 (LAUGHS) 897 00:34:06,710 --> 00:34:07,377 (CLEARS THROAT) 898 00:34:08,544 --> 00:34:09,613 To true love. 899 00:34:11,448 --> 00:34:12,083 Cheers! 900 00:34:13,149 --> 00:34:14,050 Bottoms up! 901 00:34:22,792 --> 00:34:23,859 (CHUCKLES) 902 00:34:23,861 --> 00:34:27,028 Well, okay, so I'm just gonna get right to it. 903 00:34:27,030 --> 00:34:31,102 We came here to ask you something really important. 904 00:34:33,437 --> 00:34:34,071 Nick! 905 00:34:35,805 --> 00:34:40,110 I knew that you were here for more than just a... visit. 906 00:34:44,046 --> 00:34:45,882 Did you and I have... 907 00:34:47,050 --> 00:34:48,515 Say it, say it, say it, say it! 908 00:34:48,517 --> 00:34:49,149 Just ask, ask, ask, ask, ask... 909 00:34:49,151 --> 00:34:50,551 Did you? 910 00:34:50,553 --> 00:34:52,789 (GIGGLING) 911 00:34:56,926 --> 00:34:59,162 A child together? 912 00:35:01,198 --> 00:35:02,830 Of course we did, Nick. 913 00:35:02,832 --> 00:35:03,666 We did? 914 00:35:04,667 --> 00:35:06,667 That's why I've kept up on all your success. 915 00:35:06,669 --> 00:35:10,238 I wanted him to be proud of his daddy. 916 00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:12,540 I knew we'd all be together again someday. 917 00:35:12,542 --> 00:35:14,475 Oh, god, this is the moment! 918 00:35:14,477 --> 00:35:15,412 Okay, whoo! 919 00:35:19,615 --> 00:35:21,951 Nicky, say hi to your daddy! 920 00:35:25,222 --> 00:35:27,689 We all think he looks just like you. 921 00:35:27,691 --> 00:35:30,694 It's like, is it big Nick or little? 922 00:35:32,095 --> 00:35:36,600 Well, go on, just aren't you gonna say hi to your son, Nick? 923 00:35:38,133 --> 00:35:39,169 Hi? 924 00:35:42,671 --> 00:35:43,139 (DING) 925 00:35:44,006 --> 00:35:46,975 Okay, I'll just be a moment, okay! 926 00:35:46,977 --> 00:35:48,209 I'll let you guys talk. 927 00:35:48,211 --> 00:35:49,276 He's gonna cheer you up. 928 00:35:49,278 --> 00:35:51,279 Okay, just let him get settled. 929 00:35:51,281 --> 00:35:53,548 One second, one second. 930 00:35:53,550 --> 00:35:54,781 I'm gonna go out on a limb here 931 00:35:54,783 --> 00:35:56,517 and say that she is batshit crazy. 932 00:35:56,519 --> 00:35:57,185 We gotta get out of this place. 933 00:35:57,187 --> 00:35:58,653 She is not the one you seek. 934 00:35:58,655 --> 00:35:59,587 What about the cake? 935 00:35:59,589 --> 00:36:00,587 Are you kidding me? 936 00:36:00,589 --> 00:36:01,788 I'm starving. 937 00:36:01,790 --> 00:36:04,892 JANICE: I'm just adding the nuts! 938 00:36:04,894 --> 00:36:05,727 Mr. Sparkles! 939 00:36:05,729 --> 00:36:06,694 Oh! 940 00:36:06,696 --> 00:36:07,629 (MR. SPARKLES BARKING) 941 00:36:07,631 --> 00:36:09,263 You are in trouble, young man. 942 00:36:09,265 --> 00:36:12,869 You scared the living daylights outta me! 943 00:36:13,736 --> 00:36:14,571 Oh no! 944 00:36:15,906 --> 00:36:17,071 This is bad. 945 00:36:17,073 --> 00:36:18,006 Oh, shoot! 946 00:36:18,008 --> 00:36:20,511 What did you do to my girls? 947 00:36:23,078 --> 00:36:24,111 Oh, god! 948 00:36:24,113 --> 00:36:25,747 Bonnie, are you okay? 949 00:36:25,749 --> 00:36:27,147 I'm terribly sorry 950 00:36:27,149 --> 00:36:27,948 - about this, ma'am. - I'm calling the police! 951 00:36:27,950 --> 00:36:29,283 You assaulted my girls! 952 00:36:29,285 --> 00:36:30,218 Is there any way I could take 953 00:36:30,220 --> 00:36:32,120 a piece of that for the road? 954 00:36:32,122 --> 00:36:34,555 Get out, get out, get out! 955 00:36:34,557 --> 00:36:35,323 - That's okay. - Get out! 956 00:36:35,325 --> 00:36:36,256 - Sorry, Amanda! - Thank you! 957 00:36:36,258 --> 00:36:37,125 Good to see ya, take care! 958 00:36:37,127 --> 00:36:37,962 Hey, no! 959 00:36:38,961 --> 00:36:40,261 That went horribly wrong. 960 00:36:40,263 --> 00:36:41,995 Does this make Nicky my stepbrother? 961 00:36:41,997 --> 00:36:42,964 Oh, that's very funny, cake face. 962 00:36:42,966 --> 00:36:44,299 Get in the car. 963 00:36:44,301 --> 00:36:46,066 I told you she wasn't the one you seek. 964 00:36:46,068 --> 00:36:47,301 Perhaps now you won't be so quick to dismiss 965 00:36:47,303 --> 00:36:48,303 the gifts of others? 966 00:36:48,305 --> 00:36:49,770 Gift, my ass! 967 00:36:49,772 --> 00:36:51,104 That falls under the category of obvious. 968 00:36:51,106 --> 00:36:52,040 Gimme the keys. 969 00:36:52,042 --> 00:36:52,906 You drive like an old lady. 970 00:36:52,908 --> 00:36:53,975 Very well. 971 00:36:53,977 --> 00:36:55,877 The gift needs to power down. 972 00:36:55,879 --> 00:36:57,078 Can you power down that shirt? 973 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,249 It's giving me a headache. 974 00:37:03,953 --> 00:37:05,218 Two down, a few more to go. 975 00:37:05,220 --> 00:37:06,854 (JANICE SCREAMING) 976 00:37:06,856 --> 00:37:09,756 Are you really gonna leave without saying goodbye 977 00:37:09,758 --> 00:37:11,761 again, Nick? 978 00:37:12,062 --> 00:37:13,294 Is that a flame thrower? 979 00:37:13,296 --> 00:37:15,296 Where'd she get a flame thrower? 980 00:37:15,298 --> 00:37:16,930 Drive! 981 00:37:16,932 --> 00:37:19,269 (SCREAMING) 982 00:37:23,006 --> 00:37:25,576 (LIVELY MUSIC) 983 00:37:48,397 --> 00:37:51,399 (DOG SNARLING) 984 00:37:51,401 --> 00:37:52,633 MASON: I'm not ready to die! 985 00:37:52,635 --> 00:37:54,137 I don't wanna die! 986 00:37:58,207 --> 00:37:59,774 SYDNEY: Hey, what do you think? 987 00:37:59,776 --> 00:38:00,778 It's great. 988 00:38:02,312 --> 00:38:04,712 What's that look all about? 989 00:38:04,714 --> 00:38:06,913 All right, I hate to be the one to say, I told you so. 990 00:38:06,915 --> 00:38:10,417 I think you love being the one to say I told you so. 991 00:38:10,419 --> 00:38:11,519 Okay, yeah. 992 00:38:11,521 --> 00:38:14,421 Fine, that's true but I only do this to protect you. 993 00:38:14,423 --> 00:38:16,290 I don't need to be protected from Nick. 994 00:38:16,292 --> 00:38:17,725 Really? 995 00:38:17,727 --> 00:38:19,026 Well, I just got off the phone with Albert. 996 00:38:19,028 --> 00:38:20,395 Albert, Nick's publisher? 997 00:38:20,397 --> 00:38:22,162 It had to be done. 998 00:38:22,164 --> 00:38:24,332 And when I mentioned him booking Nick last minute, 999 00:38:24,334 --> 00:38:26,868 he had no idea what I was talking about. 1000 00:38:26,870 --> 00:38:29,736 Kelly, can't you just be, wait, what, what? 1001 00:38:29,738 --> 00:38:33,743 There is no Santa Barbara speaking engagement. 1002 00:38:34,810 --> 00:38:38,245 But why would he tell me that? 1003 00:38:38,247 --> 00:38:39,082 Exactly. 1004 00:38:53,363 --> 00:38:54,796 NICK: Oh, wait. 1005 00:38:54,798 --> 00:38:55,729 MASON: What are you looking for? 1006 00:38:55,731 --> 00:38:57,365 NICK: I lost my phone. 1007 00:38:57,367 --> 00:38:58,433 I think you left it on the coffee table 1008 00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:01,736 of the house of your true love, Janice Bodicker. 1009 00:39:01,738 --> 00:39:03,004 Shall we go back and get her? 1010 00:39:03,006 --> 00:39:04,404 Never mind, I got insurance. 1011 00:39:04,406 --> 00:39:06,073 Did you say this one is called Winifred? 1012 00:39:06,075 --> 00:39:07,908 Yeah, Winny for short. 1013 00:39:07,910 --> 00:39:10,778 I'm sensing a very peculiar aura. 1014 00:39:10,780 --> 00:39:12,245 No, that's your rat. 1015 00:39:12,247 --> 00:39:16,686 Ever since you fed him that chimichanga from the Gas 'N Go. 1016 00:39:17,787 --> 00:39:18,486 No, this is something different. 1017 00:39:18,488 --> 00:39:20,190 Wait right here. 1018 00:39:27,397 --> 00:39:29,964 Is Winifred Cartwright here? 1019 00:39:29,966 --> 00:39:31,131 Nick? 1020 00:39:31,133 --> 00:39:32,866 Nick Pearson, come here! 1021 00:39:32,868 --> 00:39:34,435 Whoa, do I know you, buddy? 1022 00:39:34,437 --> 00:39:36,707 Yes, it's me, it's Winny! 1023 00:39:38,475 --> 00:39:39,973 Of course, I go by Freddy now. 1024 00:39:39,975 --> 00:39:41,444 It's less confusing. 1025 00:39:44,914 --> 00:39:47,881 How long you been Freddy, Winny? 1026 00:39:47,883 --> 00:39:50,383 Well, you know, you and I had that night together 1027 00:39:50,385 --> 00:39:53,287 and then the next day I went and had surgery. 1028 00:39:53,289 --> 00:39:54,957 I don't blame you. 1029 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,461 I cannot believe I let you get into my head like this. 1030 00:40:00,463 --> 00:40:02,162 Then just call him, Syd. 1031 00:40:02,164 --> 00:40:03,363 I don't need to... 1032 00:40:03,365 --> 00:40:04,265 That way you'll know what's going on. 1033 00:40:04,267 --> 00:40:06,234 And you're right, maybe it's nothing. 1034 00:40:06,236 --> 00:40:07,468 It's probably nothing. 1035 00:40:07,470 --> 00:40:11,339 I mean, I bet it is, it's something but. 1036 00:40:11,341 --> 00:40:14,075 What, it could be nothing. 1037 00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:14,912 Okay. 1038 00:40:18,881 --> 00:40:21,515 (PHONE RINGING) 1039 00:40:21,517 --> 00:40:22,549 Hello? 1040 00:40:22,551 --> 00:40:24,519 I'm sorry, who am I speaking to? 1041 00:40:24,521 --> 00:40:26,187 None of your business, that's who! 1042 00:40:26,189 --> 00:40:28,221 Well, can I speak to Nick? 1043 00:40:28,223 --> 00:40:29,156 No, you may not! 1044 00:40:29,158 --> 00:40:30,558 He's gone again with no regards 1045 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,526 for my feelings or his child! 1046 00:40:32,528 --> 00:40:33,560 His child? 1047 00:40:33,562 --> 00:40:35,229 What? 1048 00:40:35,231 --> 00:40:36,531 I'm sorry. 1049 00:40:36,533 --> 00:40:37,531 Are you saying that you and Nick Pearson 1050 00:40:37,533 --> 00:40:39,533 had a child together? 1051 00:40:39,535 --> 00:40:40,968 Yes, we did. 1052 00:40:40,970 --> 00:40:42,403 A beautiful baby boy. 1053 00:40:42,405 --> 00:40:46,006 I now regret ever having laid eyes on that man! 1054 00:40:46,008 --> 00:40:48,042 When he wrote that book, that hating kids book, 1055 00:40:48,044 --> 00:40:49,810 I thought he was just being funny 1056 00:40:49,812 --> 00:40:53,513 but I now know that every word of it was the truth. 1057 00:40:53,515 --> 00:40:55,482 Where is Nick right now? 1058 00:40:55,484 --> 00:40:57,051 Hopefully lying dead in a ditch 1059 00:40:57,053 --> 00:40:58,986 with his two friends while that little dog of theirs 1060 00:40:58,988 --> 00:41:00,821 just eats their remains! 1061 00:41:00,823 --> 00:41:01,823 He hates dogs. 1062 00:41:01,825 --> 00:41:02,924 What? 1063 00:41:02,926 --> 00:41:05,192 My advice to you is to stay as far away as possible 1064 00:41:05,194 --> 00:41:06,796 from that deadbeat! 1065 00:41:08,497 --> 00:41:10,198 Okay, what is going on? 1066 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,500 I think it's pretty clear. 1067 00:41:12,502 --> 00:41:15,569 I mean, that woman, she does not sound normal, and a dog? 1068 00:41:15,571 --> 00:41:19,173 Syd, first some kid shows up claiming he's Nick's son 1069 00:41:19,175 --> 00:41:20,374 then Nick lies about where he is going 1070 00:41:20,376 --> 00:41:25,479 and now, this weird woman admits they had a kid together. 1071 00:41:25,481 --> 00:41:26,379 What more do you need? 1072 00:41:26,381 --> 00:41:27,348 It's case closed. 1073 00:41:27,350 --> 00:41:28,850 I don't think so, Kelly. 1074 00:41:28,852 --> 00:41:30,183 I need proof. 1075 00:41:30,185 --> 00:41:32,021 Wow, okay. 1076 00:41:32,622 --> 00:41:34,354 Somebody's in denial. 1077 00:41:34,356 --> 00:41:36,192 Fine, we'll get proof. 1078 00:41:37,926 --> 00:41:40,497 (LIVELY MUSIC) 1079 00:41:53,910 --> 00:41:55,308 I don't understand. 1080 00:41:55,310 --> 00:41:57,611 If Winny is Freddy, why were you asking him 1081 00:41:57,613 --> 00:42:00,247 if he had your child? 1082 00:42:00,249 --> 00:42:03,250 Because he used to be a woman. 1083 00:42:03,252 --> 00:42:05,421 Wow, how do you do that? 1084 00:42:08,658 --> 00:42:09,890 You have any hobbies? 1085 00:42:09,892 --> 00:42:12,493 You like reading books or anything? 1086 00:42:12,495 --> 00:42:15,229 Sometimes, I read your book. 1087 00:42:15,231 --> 00:42:16,596 Really, what'd you think? 1088 00:42:16,598 --> 00:42:17,899 It made me wanna write a book. 1089 00:42:17,901 --> 00:42:19,000 No way! 1090 00:42:19,002 --> 00:42:20,267 That is so cool. 1091 00:42:20,269 --> 00:42:22,904 I'm so thrilled I could inspire a young writer. 1092 00:42:22,906 --> 00:42:25,538 I wanted to write a book called I Hate Parents. 1093 00:42:25,540 --> 00:42:26,175 Oh. 1094 00:42:29,611 --> 00:42:31,678 So, what is that thing anyway? 1095 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,446 It's a fidget spinner. 1096 00:42:33,448 --> 00:42:34,582 It helps keep me calm. 1097 00:42:34,584 --> 00:42:35,515 Oh, yeah? 1098 00:42:35,517 --> 00:42:36,549 I could use one of those. 1099 00:42:36,551 --> 00:42:38,451 Look, you don't have to do this. 1100 00:42:38,453 --> 00:42:39,654 NICK: What? 1101 00:42:39,656 --> 00:42:42,189 Pretend like you like me. 1102 00:42:42,191 --> 00:42:44,294 Just help me find my mom. 1103 00:42:45,361 --> 00:42:47,297 That's the deal, right? 1104 00:42:52,068 --> 00:42:54,669 So why do you hate kids? 1105 00:42:54,671 --> 00:42:56,169 I don't hate kids. 1106 00:42:56,171 --> 00:42:58,471 I just don't see eye to eye with them. 1107 00:42:58,473 --> 00:43:00,941 It's not so much that I hate them, they hate me. 1108 00:43:00,943 --> 00:43:02,345 I don't hate you. 1109 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,613 Does your fiancee hate kids, too? 1110 00:43:06,615 --> 00:43:10,119 No, she just likes things uncomplicated. 1111 00:43:11,421 --> 00:43:14,721 Why are there spoons in my comforter? 1112 00:43:14,723 --> 00:43:16,290 All the butter's gone. 1113 00:43:16,292 --> 00:43:18,658 What am I gonna dip my shrimp in? 1114 00:43:18,660 --> 00:43:20,261 What's he dreaming about? 1115 00:43:20,263 --> 00:43:23,934 Sounds like he's channeling Gordon Ramsay. 1116 00:43:25,968 --> 00:43:29,669 (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 1117 00:43:29,671 --> 00:43:30,907 Oh, great. 1118 00:43:39,015 --> 00:43:43,287 (OFFICER ON RADIO SPEAKING SOFTLY) 1119 00:43:52,495 --> 00:43:53,995 License and registration. 1120 00:43:53,997 --> 00:43:56,430 Yes, certainly, officer. 1121 00:43:56,432 --> 00:43:57,999 You know why I pulled you over? 1122 00:43:58,001 --> 00:43:59,299 Was I going too fast? 1123 00:43:59,301 --> 00:44:00,567 The speed limit is 45. 1124 00:44:00,569 --> 00:44:02,069 You were doing 50. 1125 00:44:02,071 --> 00:44:04,341 (WHISTLES) 1126 00:44:05,274 --> 00:44:06,473 This is not my car 1127 00:44:06,475 --> 00:44:09,709 so I'm not really used to how it handles. 1128 00:44:09,711 --> 00:44:10,544 It pulls. 1129 00:44:10,546 --> 00:44:12,178 Well, that doesn't change the fact 1130 00:44:12,180 --> 00:44:13,113 that you were breaking the law, now does it? 1131 00:44:13,115 --> 00:44:13,714 No, no, no, it doesn't. 1132 00:44:13,716 --> 00:44:16,316 Excuse me, officer. 1133 00:44:16,318 --> 00:44:17,785 When was the last time you had your radar gun 1134 00:44:17,787 --> 00:44:20,220 calibrated for accuracy? 1135 00:44:20,222 --> 00:44:21,654 Excuse me? 1136 00:44:21,656 --> 00:44:24,058 Well, you see, many speeding violations are dismissed 1137 00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:25,258 because the citing officer 1138 00:44:25,260 --> 00:44:26,794 failed to have regular maintenance checks 1139 00:44:26,796 --> 00:44:28,397 on their equipment. 1140 00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:34,671 Don't move, I'll be right back. 1141 00:44:37,740 --> 00:44:38,638 What are you doing? 1142 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,040 Helping. 1143 00:44:40,042 --> 00:44:41,542 My foster mother used to be a paralegal 1144 00:44:41,544 --> 00:44:43,477 for the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. 1145 00:44:43,479 --> 00:44:46,647 No, Mason, that law firm doesn't exist. 1146 00:44:46,649 --> 00:44:47,580 It's an old joke. 1147 00:44:47,582 --> 00:44:49,986 I know, I was making a joke. 1148 00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:52,055 Oh. 1149 00:44:54,823 --> 00:44:57,158 I don't know about the timing but pretty funny. 1150 00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,192 All right, Mr. Pearson, 1151 00:44:58,194 --> 00:44:59,826 I'm gonna let you go with a warning this time. 1152 00:44:59,828 --> 00:45:00,794 Watch your speed. 1153 00:45:00,796 --> 00:45:02,629 Thank you. 1154 00:45:02,631 --> 00:45:03,564 And one more thing. 1155 00:45:03,566 --> 00:45:04,698 Mm-hmm? 1156 00:45:04,700 --> 00:45:05,832 OFFICER: Hey, brother, can I have your autograph? 1157 00:45:05,834 --> 00:45:07,634 I'd be happy to, always. 1158 00:45:07,636 --> 00:45:08,836 Man, my wife and I, 1159 00:45:08,838 --> 00:45:12,506 we listen to you on the radio all the time. 1160 00:45:12,508 --> 00:45:15,709 You have admirable qualities, officer. 1161 00:45:15,711 --> 00:45:17,578 I'm sensing a promotion in your future. 1162 00:45:17,580 --> 00:45:19,080 Well, actually, I'm puttin' in 1163 00:45:19,082 --> 00:45:20,080 for early retirement in three months. 1164 00:45:20,082 --> 00:45:22,750 Yes, which will promote healthy relaxation 1165 00:45:22,752 --> 00:45:24,685 in your previously hectic life. 1166 00:45:24,687 --> 00:45:26,120 (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 1167 00:45:26,122 --> 00:45:29,292 You can say that again, Mr. Fabular. 1168 00:45:30,193 --> 00:45:31,125 All right, man. 1169 00:45:31,127 --> 00:45:32,392 Hey, you drive safely now. 1170 00:45:32,394 --> 00:45:34,694 - All right. - Of course, of course. 1171 00:45:34,696 --> 00:45:36,633 You watch your speed. 1172 00:45:39,234 --> 00:45:40,234 No need to thank me. 1173 00:45:40,236 --> 00:45:40,868 Thank you? 1174 00:45:40,870 --> 00:45:42,336 For what? 1175 00:45:42,338 --> 00:45:43,270 For extruding us from that awkward 1176 00:45:43,272 --> 00:45:44,872 and embarrassing confrontation. 1177 00:45:44,874 --> 00:45:46,540 You had nothing to do with it. 1178 00:45:46,542 --> 00:45:48,109 I most certainly had everything to do with it. 1179 00:45:48,111 --> 00:45:51,745 I was manipulating and deflecting his negative energy. 1180 00:45:51,747 --> 00:45:53,180 Thank you, Fabular. 1181 00:45:53,182 --> 00:45:54,448 Yeah, thank you, Master Yoda. 1182 00:45:54,450 --> 00:45:55,381 Now shut up, please. 1183 00:45:55,383 --> 00:45:57,317 Who's next on the list? 1184 00:45:57,319 --> 00:45:59,720 Christine Hurley. 1185 00:45:59,722 --> 00:46:02,825 (STEADY GUITAR MUSIC) 1186 00:46:06,194 --> 00:46:07,361 KELLY: Do you see anything? 1187 00:46:07,363 --> 00:46:08,765 Get in there, go! 1188 00:46:11,667 --> 00:46:13,700 SYDNEY: Oh, I just, I don't feel good about this. 1189 00:46:13,702 --> 00:46:14,868 I think we should go back home. 1190 00:46:14,870 --> 00:46:15,803 KELLY: What? 1191 00:46:15,805 --> 00:46:17,370 He gave you a key, didn't he? 1192 00:46:17,372 --> 00:46:18,705 By giving you a key it is implied 1193 00:46:18,707 --> 00:46:19,707 that you have permission to gain entry 1194 00:46:19,709 --> 00:46:22,475 at any time to the domicile said key unlocks. 1195 00:46:22,477 --> 00:46:23,711 SYDNEY: I'm pretty certain that implication 1196 00:46:23,713 --> 00:46:25,412 doesn't mean scavenging said domicile 1197 00:46:25,414 --> 00:46:26,513 for dirty little secrets. 1198 00:46:26,515 --> 00:46:27,448 Okay, you know what? 1199 00:46:27,450 --> 00:46:28,182 I take no pleasure in this. 1200 00:46:28,184 --> 00:46:30,151 Yes, you do. 1201 00:46:30,153 --> 00:46:30,884 Okay, I do. 1202 00:46:30,886 --> 00:46:31,919 Okay, yes, I do, a little bit. 1203 00:46:31,921 --> 00:46:32,919 But again, it's all for you. 1204 00:46:32,921 --> 00:46:34,154 I'm pretty certain you missed your true calling 1205 00:46:34,156 --> 00:46:36,323 as a criminal mastermind but let's just get this over with 1206 00:46:36,325 --> 00:46:37,825 and we'll get out of here. 1207 00:46:37,827 --> 00:46:38,859 Patience, Syd. 1208 00:46:38,861 --> 00:46:40,528 This might take a while. 1209 00:46:40,530 --> 00:46:41,662 Even Nick wouldn't be foolish enough 1210 00:46:41,664 --> 00:46:46,202 to just leave a big box of evidence out in the open. 1211 00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:56,343 ("SYMPHONY NO. 9" BY LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN) 1212 00:46:56,345 --> 00:46:57,944 THE AMAZING FABULAR: You never mentioned you dated Oprah. 1213 00:46:57,946 --> 00:46:59,279 NICK: I always figured Christine 1214 00:46:59,281 --> 00:47:00,948 would land in the lap of luxury. 1215 00:47:00,950 --> 00:47:02,950 Face first, from the looks of it. 1216 00:47:02,952 --> 00:47:05,689 Wow, I would totally live here. 1217 00:47:06,888 --> 00:47:10,424 Maybe you two should hang back for the moment. 1218 00:47:10,426 --> 00:47:14,361 I don't wanna just thrust this in her face. 1219 00:47:14,363 --> 00:47:15,729 Seems like that's how you got yourself 1220 00:47:15,731 --> 00:47:17,765 in this situation to begin with. 1221 00:47:17,767 --> 00:47:18,832 Hilarious. 1222 00:47:18,834 --> 00:47:19,870 Wait here. 1223 00:47:24,539 --> 00:47:27,376 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1224 00:47:29,511 --> 00:47:32,412 Don't just stand there. 1225 00:47:32,414 --> 00:47:33,214 Wow. 1226 00:47:33,216 --> 00:47:34,915 I have to be at UCLA in one hour 1227 00:47:34,917 --> 00:47:36,649 to give my speech on women's empowerment 1228 00:47:36,651 --> 00:47:38,419 in the social media arena. 1229 00:47:38,421 --> 00:47:40,821 The helicopter will be here in five minutes. 1230 00:47:40,823 --> 00:47:42,589 How fast can you tweet? 1231 00:47:42,591 --> 00:47:43,524 Huh, I don't know. 1232 00:47:43,526 --> 00:47:44,991 Strike two. 1233 00:47:44,993 --> 00:47:46,459 If you want this job, you'd better pick up the pace. 1234 00:47:46,461 --> 00:47:47,428 - Job? - I require someone 1235 00:47:47,430 --> 00:47:48,796 who can manage my schedule, 1236 00:47:48,798 --> 00:47:51,564 count my calories feed my geckos 1237 00:47:51,566 --> 00:47:54,535 and make sure I don't wear the same dress twice. 1238 00:47:54,537 --> 00:47:57,904 If you last two weeks, I'll double your salary, okay? 1239 00:47:57,906 --> 00:48:00,908 I'm not here for the job, Christine. 1240 00:48:00,910 --> 00:48:01,875 Who are you? 1241 00:48:01,877 --> 00:48:04,912 It's me, Nick, Nick Pearson. 1242 00:48:04,914 --> 00:48:06,749 Nick, Nick! 1243 00:48:07,749 --> 00:48:08,383 Oh! 1244 00:48:09,885 --> 00:48:11,951 I didn't recognize you, Nick. 1245 00:48:11,953 --> 00:48:13,957 Oh, you didn't age well. 1246 00:48:16,425 --> 00:48:17,857 You're not on my schedule. 1247 00:48:17,859 --> 00:48:20,461 I know, I called you an hour ago, remember? 1248 00:48:20,463 --> 00:48:21,861 This is why I need an assistant. 1249 00:48:21,863 --> 00:48:23,730 I think I can fit you in on Thursday. 1250 00:48:23,732 --> 00:48:24,865 No, I gotta talk to you right now. 1251 00:48:24,867 --> 00:48:25,966 It's important. 1252 00:48:25,968 --> 00:48:29,270 Okay, you have 35 seconds, go. 1253 00:48:29,272 --> 00:48:30,703 Okay. 1254 00:48:30,705 --> 00:48:34,408 Did you and I have a child 1255 00:48:34,410 --> 00:48:38,412 that you secretly gave up for adoption, by any chance? 1256 00:48:38,414 --> 00:48:40,881 Why would you ask me that? 1257 00:48:40,883 --> 00:48:42,383 Because this kid out here 1258 00:48:42,385 --> 00:48:45,386 deserves to know who his mother is. 1259 00:48:45,388 --> 00:48:47,888 Well, he's awfully big. 1260 00:48:47,890 --> 00:48:49,555 Does baldness run in your family? 1261 00:48:49,557 --> 00:48:50,691 Not him! 1262 00:48:50,693 --> 00:48:51,924 The other one! 1263 00:48:51,926 --> 00:48:52,792 Nick, for someone who writes comedy, 1264 00:48:52,794 --> 00:48:55,662 you really can't take a joke, can you? 1265 00:48:55,664 --> 00:48:56,863 I'm a little off my game. 1266 00:48:56,865 --> 00:48:58,031 Sorry, Nick, I can't help you. 1267 00:48:58,033 --> 00:48:58,966 It wasn't me. 1268 00:48:58,968 --> 00:49:01,301 Tell the kid I'm sorry. 1269 00:49:01,303 --> 00:49:02,939 Sorry to bother you. 1270 00:49:04,774 --> 00:49:05,775 Hey, Nick? 1271 00:49:06,709 --> 00:49:08,941 For whatever it's worth, I can't have kids. 1272 00:49:08,943 --> 00:49:11,912 You would have found that out if you'd stuck around. 1273 00:49:11,914 --> 00:49:12,979 I built my empire instead. 1274 00:49:12,981 --> 00:49:15,049 Everything happens for a reason. 1275 00:49:15,051 --> 00:49:16,486 Bye, good luck. 1276 00:49:19,321 --> 00:49:22,024 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC) 1277 00:49:23,392 --> 00:49:24,957 Another dead end? 1278 00:49:24,959 --> 00:49:25,794 Yup. 1279 00:49:32,868 --> 00:49:37,607 You really flushed that golden ticket down the commode. 1280 00:49:38,807 --> 00:49:41,910 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC) 1281 00:49:50,419 --> 00:49:51,685 There are more women here 1282 00:49:51,687 --> 00:49:53,754 than in my entire graduating class. 1283 00:49:53,756 --> 00:49:55,756 My class was huge, remember? 1284 00:49:55,758 --> 00:49:56,589 Want chips? 1285 00:49:56,591 --> 00:49:58,058 No, Kelly. 1286 00:49:58,060 --> 00:50:00,127 I still have to fit into my wedding dress, remember? 1287 00:50:00,129 --> 00:50:02,595 Seriously, Nick should be bronzed and put on exhibit 1288 00:50:02,597 --> 00:50:05,499 at the Alfred Kinsey museum. 1289 00:50:05,501 --> 00:50:07,100 Oh, there's another one. 1290 00:50:07,102 --> 00:50:10,807 That makes three Christines at last count. 1291 00:50:12,607 --> 00:50:13,709 Oh, my God. 1292 00:50:14,776 --> 00:50:16,642 Nick is a gigolo. 1293 00:50:16,644 --> 00:50:18,078 What? 1294 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:19,613 No, I don't think it says anything about him getting paid. 1295 00:50:19,615 --> 00:50:21,381 He's just a slut. 1296 00:50:21,383 --> 00:50:22,116 You're right! 1297 00:50:22,118 --> 00:50:23,783 He's a slut! 1298 00:50:23,785 --> 00:50:26,386 And all this time, he's been lying to me 1299 00:50:26,388 --> 00:50:31,024 and keeping secrets from me and I've been an idiot! 1300 00:50:31,026 --> 00:50:33,060 All signs do point to yes on that one. 1301 00:50:33,062 --> 00:50:34,928 So what do I do? 1302 00:50:34,930 --> 00:50:36,095 I don't know what to do! 1303 00:50:36,097 --> 00:50:40,133 I just need, I need a little more time. 1304 00:50:40,135 --> 00:50:41,100 Sydney. 1305 00:50:41,102 --> 00:50:43,002 Just a little more time. 1306 00:50:43,004 --> 00:50:44,037 Nope, time is now. 1307 00:50:44,039 --> 00:50:45,506 What? 1308 00:50:45,508 --> 00:50:46,540 It's time. 1309 00:50:46,542 --> 00:50:48,075 - Oh, my god! - We gotta go. 1310 00:50:48,077 --> 00:50:49,642 Wait, no. 1311 00:50:49,644 --> 00:50:51,779 Cover that, put something on that chair on the mark. 1312 00:50:51,781 --> 00:50:52,745 SYDNEY: Do you want the chips? 1313 00:50:52,747 --> 00:50:54,415 Okay, yeah, bring the chips. 1314 00:50:54,417 --> 00:50:56,582 I gotta call Richard. 1315 00:50:56,584 --> 00:50:59,653 (LIGHT MELLOW MUSIC) 1316 00:50:59,655 --> 00:51:00,787 How're you doing? 1317 00:51:00,789 --> 00:51:02,423 Fine. 1318 00:51:02,425 --> 00:51:03,890 I wish I had some ice cream. 1319 00:51:03,892 --> 00:51:07,093 Oh, well, maybe later we'll get you some. 1320 00:51:07,095 --> 00:51:08,694 That'd be great. 1321 00:51:08,696 --> 00:51:10,129 What's your favorite flavor? 1322 00:51:10,131 --> 00:51:10,964 Strawberry. 1323 00:51:10,966 --> 00:51:14,066 No way, that's my favorite flavor. 1324 00:51:14,068 --> 00:51:15,334 What are the odds? 1325 00:51:15,336 --> 00:51:19,573 I mean, a lot of people like strawberry, so not that high. 1326 00:51:19,575 --> 00:51:22,209 Ooh, ooh, Richard, Richard! 1327 00:51:22,211 --> 00:51:24,812 Answer your stupid phone! 1328 00:51:24,814 --> 00:51:26,015 Okay, okay, okay. 1329 00:51:27,182 --> 00:51:29,216 Ow, they're really coming fast now! 1330 00:51:29,218 --> 00:51:31,017 Just try to stay calm, Kelly. 1331 00:51:31,019 --> 00:51:32,919 Why did you let me eat all the chips? 1332 00:51:32,921 --> 00:51:35,087 I'm gonna be gassy in the delivery room! 1333 00:51:35,089 --> 00:51:37,124 Do not worry about that right now! 1334 00:51:37,126 --> 00:51:39,959 I would just relax and try to concentrate on whatever it is 1335 00:51:39,961 --> 00:51:41,662 they tell you to concentrate on 1336 00:51:41,664 --> 00:51:43,129 in those La Paz classes you took! 1337 00:51:43,131 --> 00:51:44,497 I wasn't listening! 1338 00:51:44,499 --> 00:51:46,066 It's Lamaze! 1339 00:51:46,068 --> 00:51:47,700 And how am I supposed to relax when my Lamaze partner 1340 00:51:47,702 --> 00:51:50,102 won't even answer his phone, god! 1341 00:51:50,104 --> 00:51:51,805 Richard, hi, it's your wife. 1342 00:51:51,807 --> 00:51:52,939 I'm gonna kill you! 1343 00:51:52,941 --> 00:51:55,042 SYDNEY: Just breathe with me. 1344 00:51:55,044 --> 00:51:56,977 KELLY: I don't know what to do! 1345 00:51:56,979 --> 00:51:59,015 Sorry, that's just chips. 1346 00:52:00,115 --> 00:52:01,048 I'm having a baby! 1347 00:52:01,050 --> 00:52:02,249 How can he be stuck in traffic? 1348 00:52:02,251 --> 00:52:03,250 There's always traffic on the 405. 1349 00:52:03,252 --> 00:52:04,250 He'll be here. 1350 00:52:04,252 --> 00:52:05,151 Oh, my god, he's not gonna be here in time! 1351 00:52:05,153 --> 00:52:07,087 No, no, no, no, I can't do this alone! 1352 00:52:07,089 --> 00:52:08,855 Syd, Syd, you have to come in there with me! 1353 00:52:08,857 --> 00:52:09,923 Oh, no, no, I can't do that. 1354 00:52:09,925 --> 00:52:11,158 Yes, yes, you can! 1355 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:12,093 I am your sister and I say you have to! 1356 00:52:12,095 --> 00:52:13,627 Don't they have, like, stand-by people, 1357 00:52:13,629 --> 00:52:14,727 like rent-a-coaches or something? 1358 00:52:14,729 --> 00:52:16,229 Syd, Sydney! 1359 00:52:16,231 --> 00:52:18,765 You have to do this or I will tell everyone in here 1360 00:52:18,767 --> 00:52:20,767 how you shit your pants at Neil Greenblatt's bar mitzvah 1361 00:52:20,769 --> 00:52:22,535 and then you flushed your underpants down the toilet 1362 00:52:22,537 --> 00:52:24,104 and flooded the entire basement of the synagogue. 1363 00:52:24,106 --> 00:52:25,506 That was like 20 years ago. 1364 00:52:25,508 --> 00:52:26,607 I don't care! 1365 00:52:26,609 --> 00:52:28,174 I'm about to launch a watermelon out of my punani! 1366 00:52:28,176 --> 00:52:30,877 Do not test me, Sydney! 1367 00:52:30,879 --> 00:52:31,944 Here we are. 1368 00:52:31,946 --> 00:52:33,082 947 Main Street. 1369 00:52:34,517 --> 00:52:35,218 Cross Hakido. 1370 00:52:36,252 --> 00:52:38,151 Wow, this place looks amazing. 1371 00:52:38,153 --> 00:52:39,986 I'm gonna sit this one out and take Mr. Sparkles 1372 00:52:39,988 --> 00:52:41,988 on a much needed stroll. 1373 00:52:41,990 --> 00:52:43,122 We'll see you back here. 1374 00:52:43,124 --> 00:52:44,258 Okay. 1375 00:52:44,260 --> 00:52:45,292 Let's step that punch! 1376 00:52:45,294 --> 00:52:46,526 (STUDENTS YELL) 1377 00:52:46,528 --> 00:52:47,160 Single punch! 1378 00:52:47,162 --> 00:52:47,995 (STUDENTS YELL) 1379 00:52:47,997 --> 00:52:48,828 Two! (STUDENTS YELL) 1380 00:52:48,830 --> 00:52:49,696 Three! (STUDENTS YELL) 1381 00:52:49,698 --> 00:52:50,897 Four! (STUDENTS YELL) 1382 00:52:50,899 --> 00:52:52,131 Attention. 1383 00:52:52,133 --> 00:52:54,167 (STUDENTS YELL) 1384 00:52:54,169 --> 00:52:57,770 (LIGHT MELLOW MUSIC) 1385 00:52:57,772 --> 00:52:59,205 Hey, Nick! 1386 00:52:59,207 --> 00:53:00,140 Hi, Schyler. 1387 00:53:00,142 --> 00:53:01,008 You look great. 1388 00:53:01,010 --> 00:53:02,843 This place is fantastic. 1389 00:53:02,845 --> 00:53:05,979 Yeah, and after two years, I'm the owner. 1390 00:53:05,981 --> 00:53:08,015 Are you like a ninja? 1391 00:53:08,017 --> 00:53:09,283 Almost. 1392 00:53:09,285 --> 00:53:10,283 What's your name? 1393 00:53:10,285 --> 00:53:11,285 Mason. 1394 00:53:11,287 --> 00:53:13,120 Yeah, would you like to join my class today? 1395 00:53:13,122 --> 00:53:14,321 MASON: Sure! 1396 00:53:14,323 --> 00:53:15,321 Okay, there's extra gis over there 1397 00:53:15,323 --> 00:53:16,723 in the changing room. 1398 00:53:16,725 --> 00:53:17,624 Just put one on and then come out to the mat 1399 00:53:17,626 --> 00:53:18,558 and join the class. 1400 00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,294 Okay, thanks! 1401 00:53:20,296 --> 00:53:21,194 He's a sweet kid. 1402 00:53:21,196 --> 00:53:22,629 NICK: Mm-hmm. 1403 00:53:22,631 --> 00:53:23,729 What's he doing with a nut like you 1404 00:53:23,731 --> 00:53:25,732 and what do you want from me? 1405 00:53:25,734 --> 00:53:29,236 Well, it's a bit of a delicate situation. 1406 00:53:29,238 --> 00:53:30,970 I need to talk about us. 1407 00:53:30,972 --> 00:53:31,872 Us? 1408 00:53:31,874 --> 00:53:33,276 As in you and me? 1409 00:53:34,276 --> 00:53:38,013 Yeah, it could also involve other parties. 1410 00:53:40,015 --> 00:53:41,647 Interesting. 1411 00:53:41,649 --> 00:53:44,153 Okay, five-minute water break! 1412 00:53:45,287 --> 00:53:46,752 I'll tell you what, Nick. 1413 00:53:46,754 --> 00:53:48,321 I'm a little short-handed today. 1414 00:53:48,323 --> 00:53:49,890 Why don't you help me out for the next 30 minutes 1415 00:53:49,892 --> 00:53:52,993 and maybe I'll answer your questions. 1416 00:53:52,995 --> 00:53:54,962 Help you out? 1417 00:53:54,964 --> 00:53:56,099 Doing what? 1418 00:53:58,968 --> 00:54:00,232 Is this completely necessary? 1419 00:54:00,234 --> 00:54:04,071 You want your questions answered or not? 1420 00:54:04,073 --> 00:54:05,037 Yeah. 1421 00:54:05,039 --> 00:54:06,305 Line up! 1422 00:54:06,307 --> 00:54:07,309 STUDENTS: Yes, ma'am! 1423 00:54:10,713 --> 00:54:12,812 On your knees. 1424 00:54:12,814 --> 00:54:15,984 (DRAMATIC DRUM MUSIC) 1425 00:54:17,185 --> 00:54:19,752 Oh, I'm so glad you're so amused. 1426 00:54:19,754 --> 00:54:21,254 Side kicks! 1427 00:54:21,256 --> 00:54:23,689 (GRUNTS) 1428 00:54:23,691 --> 00:54:24,625 (NICK GROANS LOUDLY) 1429 00:54:24,627 --> 00:54:26,158 Little lower next time, sweetie. 1430 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:27,361 Could we take this seriously? 1431 00:54:27,363 --> 00:54:28,227 I need to find this kid's mother. 1432 00:54:28,229 --> 00:54:29,363 Oh, I'm sorry, Nick, 1433 00:54:29,365 --> 00:54:31,397 but talk about a needle in the haystack. 1434 00:54:31,399 --> 00:54:32,399 Well, I'll take that to be a no? 1435 00:54:32,401 --> 00:54:33,834 Front kick! 1436 00:54:33,836 --> 00:54:35,167 (GRUNTS) 1437 00:54:35,169 --> 00:54:36,403 Believe me, Nick, if we had a baby, 1438 00:54:36,405 --> 00:54:38,104 you would have known about it from day one. 1439 00:54:38,106 --> 00:54:39,872 Why don't you ask Tonya Wesson? 1440 00:54:39,874 --> 00:54:41,274 Tonya Wesson? 1441 00:54:41,276 --> 00:54:42,975 Who's Tonya Wesson? 1442 00:54:42,977 --> 00:54:45,044 Oh, now don't tell me you don't remember Tonya. 1443 00:54:45,046 --> 00:54:48,314 Remember, my friend Tonya? 1444 00:54:48,316 --> 00:54:49,216 The one I caught you with 1445 00:54:49,218 --> 00:54:51,685 when you and I were supposedly dating? 1446 00:54:51,687 --> 00:54:54,921 Oh, Tonya Wesson, yeah. 1447 00:54:54,923 --> 00:54:56,189 Well, I mean, that's hardly my fault. 1448 00:54:56,191 --> 00:54:58,424 It takes two to tango, you know? 1449 00:54:58,426 --> 00:55:01,060 Yeah, but it only takes one to say no. 1450 00:55:01,062 --> 00:55:02,029 Crotch kick! 1451 00:55:02,031 --> 00:55:04,200 (GRUNTS) 1452 00:55:07,435 --> 00:55:10,305 (KIDS GIGGLING) 1453 00:55:12,441 --> 00:55:13,874 MAN: What's wrong with you? 1454 00:55:13,876 --> 00:55:15,241 Move! 1455 00:55:15,243 --> 00:55:18,345 You don't let everybody in front of you! 1456 00:55:18,347 --> 00:55:20,714 MAN: Come on, drive! 1457 00:55:20,716 --> 00:55:22,249 (PHONE RINGING) 1458 00:55:22,251 --> 00:55:23,216 Hey, baby! 1459 00:55:23,218 --> 00:55:24,817 How's it going, huh? 1460 00:55:24,819 --> 00:55:25,986 How far away are you? 1461 00:55:25,988 --> 00:55:29,321 I don't know, maybe 20, 30 minutes? 1462 00:55:29,323 --> 00:55:30,323 I'm gonna kill you! 1463 00:55:30,325 --> 00:55:31,258 RICHARD: I'm on my way! 1464 00:55:31,260 --> 00:55:32,359 I am coming, don't worry! 1465 00:55:32,361 --> 00:55:34,093 You're gonna stay on this phone 1466 00:55:34,095 --> 00:55:36,229 until you get here or this baby does, do you hear me? 1467 00:55:36,231 --> 00:55:37,698 Yup, yup. 1468 00:55:37,700 --> 00:55:39,066 MAN: Come on, I gotta get to work! 1469 00:55:39,068 --> 00:55:40,399 I'm stayin' on the phone. 1470 00:55:40,401 --> 00:55:41,368 Thanks for your help, Nick. 1471 00:55:41,370 --> 00:55:43,803 Oh, sure, anytime. 1472 00:55:43,805 --> 00:55:45,337 Hey, Fabular, check it out! 1473 00:55:45,339 --> 00:55:46,872 (GRUNTING) 1474 00:55:46,874 --> 00:55:48,475 Oh, that's impressive. 1475 00:55:48,477 --> 00:55:50,910 The next time I need a bodyguard, I'm gonna give you a call. 1476 00:55:50,912 --> 00:55:53,946 Well, it is a small world after all. 1477 00:55:53,948 --> 00:55:56,415 Hello, Ernie, long time no see. 1478 00:55:56,417 --> 00:55:57,984 I beg your pardon? 1479 00:55:57,986 --> 00:55:59,453 I think you made a mistake. 1480 00:55:59,455 --> 00:56:00,720 This is The Amazing Fabular. 1481 00:56:00,722 --> 00:56:02,354 Oh, yes, yes it is. 1482 00:56:02,356 --> 00:56:04,390 Also known as Ernie Swanson. 1483 00:56:04,392 --> 00:56:08,462 Cerritos Clown University, class of 1994. 1484 00:56:08,464 --> 00:56:10,129 You went to Clown College? 1485 00:56:10,131 --> 00:56:11,365 You bet he did. 1486 00:56:11,367 --> 00:56:14,500 Only unlike the rest of our class who dedicated our talents 1487 00:56:14,502 --> 00:56:16,736 to the entertaining of children, 1488 00:56:16,738 --> 00:56:19,439 Ernie here parlayed his skills into bilking aging actresses 1489 00:56:19,441 --> 00:56:21,841 and rich widows out of their bank accounts. 1490 00:56:21,843 --> 00:56:23,276 How dare you! 1491 00:56:23,278 --> 00:56:24,477 Is that true? 1492 00:56:24,479 --> 00:56:26,178 Of course not! 1493 00:56:26,180 --> 00:56:28,848 I've never laid eyes on this wannabe Jackie Chan! 1494 00:56:28,850 --> 00:56:30,015 Oh, yeah, yeah, all right. 1495 00:56:30,017 --> 00:56:31,517 Well, maybe this will jog your memory? 1496 00:56:31,519 --> 00:56:34,187 I was there the night Ernie here got so loaded on grog 1497 00:56:34,189 --> 00:56:35,388 at the Renaissance fair, 1498 00:56:35,390 --> 00:56:40,127 he got a drawing of Justin Timberlake tattooed on his butt! 1499 00:56:40,129 --> 00:56:41,428 I will not stand here 1500 00:56:41,430 --> 00:56:45,165 and listen to any more of this psychotic slander! 1501 00:56:45,167 --> 00:56:47,500 Look, Nick, I meant what I said before. 1502 00:56:47,502 --> 00:56:49,136 I wish you luck. 1503 00:56:49,138 --> 00:56:51,337 But if you're receiving messages from this con artist, 1504 00:56:51,339 --> 00:56:54,875 then you're gonna need a whole lot more than luck. 1505 00:56:54,877 --> 00:56:56,977 Mason, you're a good kid. 1506 00:56:56,979 --> 00:56:58,477 I hope you find your mom. 1507 00:56:58,479 --> 00:56:59,715 Thanks. 1508 00:57:01,950 --> 00:57:04,216 Goodness, this creature has taken leave! 1509 00:57:04,218 --> 00:57:05,519 It's no wonder Mr. Sparkles 1510 00:57:05,521 --> 00:57:09,425 didn't leap to my defense and rip out her jugular! 1511 00:57:11,225 --> 00:57:13,859 Mason, will you just hang out here for a second? 1512 00:57:13,861 --> 00:57:16,095 I'm gonna talk to Fabbie for a minute. 1513 00:57:16,097 --> 00:57:17,798 - Okay. - What are you doing? 1514 00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:18,832 NICK: Oh, come on. 1515 00:57:18,834 --> 00:57:20,500 Okay, unhand me! 1516 00:57:20,502 --> 00:57:21,567 Show me your ass. 1517 00:57:21,569 --> 00:57:22,535 What are you, 1518 00:57:22,537 --> 00:57:24,136 You let me go right now! 1519 00:57:24,138 --> 00:57:25,337 - Show me your ass right now! - Let me go right now! 1520 00:57:25,339 --> 00:57:26,538 Look, I'm gonna ask you one last time, 1521 00:57:26,540 --> 00:57:30,410 do you or do you not have Justin Timberlake on your ass? 1522 00:57:30,412 --> 00:57:31,377 So that's it? 1523 00:57:31,379 --> 00:57:32,578 That's how you treat a friend? 1524 00:57:32,580 --> 00:57:34,080 We are not friends. 1525 00:57:34,082 --> 00:57:36,283 So you'd just take the word of a total stranger? 1526 00:57:36,285 --> 00:57:39,386 You're the total stranger. 1527 00:57:39,388 --> 00:57:43,490 And this hereby terminates our association. 1528 00:57:43,492 --> 00:57:44,857 I don't wanna see you. 1529 00:57:44,859 --> 00:57:46,292 I don't wanna hear from you. 1530 00:57:46,294 --> 00:57:49,995 You get back into your Fab-Mobile, get outta here. 1531 00:57:49,997 --> 00:57:51,434 Nicholas, wait. 1532 00:57:56,571 --> 00:58:00,073 Don't speak bad of me in front of the boy, okay? 1533 00:58:00,075 --> 00:58:02,944 You don't know what he means to me. 1534 00:58:04,479 --> 00:58:06,479 That woman was right. 1535 00:58:06,481 --> 00:58:09,218 I'm a fake, a fraud, a charlatan. 1536 00:58:12,086 --> 00:58:15,055 I've spent most of my life duping people out of money 1537 00:58:15,057 --> 00:58:21,229 by pretending to offer them hope, faith, closure. 1538 00:58:21,562 --> 00:58:22,529 Why are you telling me this now? 1539 00:58:22,531 --> 00:58:23,165 Because 1540 00:58:26,068 --> 00:58:28,567 when that boy popped in my head, 1541 00:58:28,569 --> 00:58:31,406 I instantly knew things about him. 1542 00:58:32,573 --> 00:58:36,977 I could feel his confusion, I could feel his pain, 1543 00:58:36,979 --> 00:58:39,345 I could feel his loneliness. 1544 00:58:39,347 --> 00:58:41,550 And I knew I had to help him. 1545 00:58:44,553 --> 00:58:46,653 You accused me of stealing money from his foster mother. 1546 00:58:46,655 --> 00:58:50,089 I have not taken a single penny. 1547 00:58:50,091 --> 00:58:54,660 'Cause that boy offers something far more valuable. 1548 00:58:54,662 --> 00:58:59,534 He makes me believe I can be a better version of myself. 1549 00:59:03,437 --> 00:59:06,406 And I know if, given the opportunity, 1550 00:59:06,408 --> 00:59:09,145 he can do the same thing for you. 1551 00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:16,151 I really wanna believe you right now. 1552 00:59:20,622 --> 00:59:22,689 Well, believe this. 1553 00:59:22,691 --> 00:59:24,658 If you cut me out of that boy's life, 1554 00:59:24,660 --> 00:59:26,526 I will never help you again. 1555 00:59:26,528 --> 00:59:30,265 And mark my words, you're gonna need my help. 1556 00:59:32,033 --> 00:59:34,700 Well, I guess we'll never know. 1557 00:59:34,702 --> 00:59:35,537 Up, up. 1558 00:59:43,946 --> 00:59:45,147 Good luck, Mason. 1559 00:59:46,013 --> 00:59:49,316 Sorry I can't finish our quest. 1560 00:59:49,318 --> 00:59:51,586 I have a speech to deliver. 1561 00:59:55,656 --> 00:59:58,560 (LIGHT MELLOW MUSIC) 1562 01:00:06,001 --> 01:00:07,734 Okay, everything's looking great, Kelly. 1563 01:00:07,736 --> 01:00:08,600 - Good. - Just keep 1564 01:00:08,602 --> 01:00:09,736 doing your breathing. 1565 01:00:09,738 --> 01:00:11,705 Great, Richard, breathing. 1566 01:00:11,707 --> 01:00:13,339 I wasn't listening, I'm sorry! 1567 01:00:13,341 --> 01:00:14,274 Okay, breathe, baby. 1568 01:00:14,276 --> 01:00:16,245 One, two, three, breathe. 1569 01:00:17,111 --> 01:00:20,048 (BREATHING DEEPLY) 1570 01:00:21,283 --> 01:00:22,582 ALL: Very good. 1571 01:00:22,584 --> 01:00:24,084 - Doing great? - Great, you're doing great! 1572 01:00:24,086 --> 01:00:25,017 DOCTOR: Now we're gonna to start to push, okay? 1573 01:00:25,019 --> 01:00:27,555 Okay, yeah, okay, okay, okay. 1574 01:00:29,490 --> 01:00:30,323 No, no, no, wait, wait, wait! 1575 01:00:30,325 --> 01:00:31,256 Wait, wait, wait! 1576 01:00:31,258 --> 01:00:31,991 You have to sing the song! 1577 01:00:31,993 --> 01:00:32,691 What song? 1578 01:00:32,693 --> 01:00:34,160 Richard, tell her! 1579 01:00:34,162 --> 01:00:36,129 Deep Inside of You by Third Eye Blind. 1580 01:00:36,131 --> 01:00:37,663 Why do I have to sing that song? 1581 01:00:37,665 --> 01:00:38,531 RICHARD: 'Cause that was the song that was playing 1582 01:00:38,533 --> 01:00:39,665 when Kelly and I were making our baby. 1583 01:00:39,667 --> 01:00:41,368 Didn't need to know that. 1584 01:00:41,370 --> 01:00:44,337 No, no, but wait, wait, we promised each other 1585 01:00:44,339 --> 01:00:47,272 that we'd sing this song during the birth. 1586 01:00:47,274 --> 01:00:48,241 So just sing it! 1587 01:00:48,243 --> 01:00:49,542 I don't know the words! 1588 01:00:49,544 --> 01:00:51,276 It's okay, you guys sing the chorus 1589 01:00:51,278 --> 01:00:54,214 and I'll help you get through it. 1590 01:00:54,216 --> 01:00:57,316 ♪ My friends say I've changed ♪ 1591 01:00:57,318 --> 01:01:02,223 ♪ I don't listen 'cause I need to be ♪ 1592 01:01:02,790 --> 01:01:05,792 ♪ Deep inside of you ♪ 1593 01:01:05,794 --> 01:01:07,727 ♪ Slide up her dress ♪ 1594 01:01:07,729 --> 01:01:09,729 ♪ Shouts in darkness ♪ 1595 01:01:09,731 --> 01:01:13,533 ♪ I'm so alive ♪ 1596 01:01:13,535 --> 01:01:16,336 ♪ And I'm deep inside of you ♪ 1597 01:01:16,338 --> 01:01:20,707 ♪ You said boy make girl feel good ♪ 1598 01:01:20,709 --> 01:01:24,044 ♪ But still, deep inside ♪ 1599 01:01:24,046 --> 01:01:25,647 ♪ Still ♪ 1600 01:01:27,249 --> 01:01:28,247 Okay, Kelly, 1601 01:01:28,249 --> 01:01:30,616 just one good, strong push. 1602 01:01:30,618 --> 01:01:32,051 Right, okay, okay. 1603 01:01:32,053 --> 01:01:34,053 I'm gonna push now. 1604 01:01:34,055 --> 01:01:35,724 - Ready? - Push, push! 1605 01:01:37,492 --> 01:01:40,093 ♪ When we met light was shed ♪ 1606 01:01:40,095 --> 01:01:43,062 ♪ Thoughts free flow, you said you've got ♪ 1607 01:01:43,064 --> 01:01:44,531 Richard! 1608 01:01:44,533 --> 01:01:48,767 ♪ Something deep inside of you ♪ 1609 01:01:48,769 --> 01:01:52,071 - ♪ A wind chime voice sound ♪ - Hi! 1610 01:01:52,073 --> 01:01:53,540 Aw, Kelly, you did it! ♪ Sway of your hips ♪ 1611 01:01:53,542 --> 01:01:57,310 ♪ Round rings true ♪ 1612 01:01:57,312 --> 01:02:02,218 ♪ It goes deep inside of you ♪ 1613 01:02:05,187 --> 01:02:08,357 ♪ Deep inside of you ♪ 1614 01:02:09,223 --> 01:02:11,227 Hi, Joanna, it's Nick. 1615 01:02:12,359 --> 01:02:14,861 Yeah, we had some unexpected diversions 1616 01:02:14,863 --> 01:02:17,165 but we're on our way now. 1617 01:02:18,133 --> 01:02:18,768 Who's we? 1618 01:02:20,102 --> 01:02:21,366 That's why I'm calling you again. 1619 01:02:21,368 --> 01:02:22,836 I have to ask you something 1620 01:02:22,838 --> 01:02:26,506 before we waste each other's time. 1621 01:02:26,508 --> 01:02:29,812 And forgive me for being blunt about this. 1622 01:02:33,414 --> 01:02:36,816 Did you and I have a kid together that I'm unaware of 1623 01:02:36,818 --> 01:02:39,522 that you gave up for adoption? 1624 01:02:42,457 --> 01:02:45,560 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC) 1625 01:02:56,437 --> 01:02:58,673 So what are we doing now? 1626 01:03:00,175 --> 01:03:02,778 We're gonna go meet your mother. 1627 01:03:07,883 --> 01:03:09,318 Are you sleepy? 1628 01:03:10,519 --> 01:03:12,588 Look at the little hands. 1629 01:03:14,421 --> 01:03:16,455 Thank you for being here with me. 1630 01:03:16,457 --> 01:03:17,689 And thank you for singing. 1631 01:03:17,691 --> 01:03:20,292 I'm very sorry I did not know the words. 1632 01:03:20,294 --> 01:03:20,926 Was I horrible? 1633 01:03:20,928 --> 01:03:23,296 No, you were perfect. 1634 01:03:23,298 --> 01:03:25,198 She's so beautiful. 1635 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,667 Yeah, this may prevent me 1636 01:03:28,669 --> 01:03:30,904 from being your maid of honor on Sunday. 1637 01:03:30,906 --> 01:03:32,272 I'm not so sure there's gonna be a need 1638 01:03:32,274 --> 01:03:33,906 for a maid of honor Sunday. 1639 01:03:33,908 --> 01:03:35,475 What? 1640 01:03:35,477 --> 01:03:39,611 Why, you're still gonna marry Nick, aren't you? 1641 01:03:39,613 --> 01:03:41,617 So he has a lot of exes. 1642 01:03:43,185 --> 01:03:43,786 And he lied. 1643 01:03:44,752 --> 01:03:46,618 And he may have some illegitimate children 1644 01:03:46,620 --> 01:03:51,626 you don't know about but still, you two belong together. 1645 01:03:52,794 --> 01:03:54,629 Wait, what are you talking about? 1646 01:03:56,531 --> 01:03:58,698 You just spent the last 48 hours trying to convince me 1647 01:03:58,700 --> 01:04:00,265 Nick is a monster. 1648 01:04:00,267 --> 01:04:02,935 What about protecting me? 1649 01:04:02,937 --> 01:04:03,771 Yeah. 1650 01:04:06,874 --> 01:04:09,709 I'm all done protecting you. 1651 01:04:09,711 --> 01:04:13,312 I have someone else to protect now. 1652 01:04:13,314 --> 01:04:14,580 I did it, baby! 1653 01:04:14,582 --> 01:04:16,216 I made it to the hospital, I'm here! 1654 01:04:16,218 --> 01:04:17,816 I'm coming! 1655 01:04:17,818 --> 01:04:18,850 Okay, love you. 1656 01:04:18,852 --> 01:04:19,986 I know! 1657 01:04:19,988 --> 01:04:21,323 I love you, too! 1658 01:04:23,258 --> 01:04:24,957 So Nick may have sowed more seed 1659 01:04:24,959 --> 01:04:26,625 than John Deere in the past. 1660 01:04:26,627 --> 01:04:30,930 You are the one he chose to spend the rest of his life with. 1661 01:04:30,932 --> 01:04:31,800 He loves you. 1662 01:04:36,238 --> 01:04:39,175 And I know that you are gonna make the right decision. 1663 01:04:43,377 --> 01:04:44,877 Oh! 1664 01:04:44,879 --> 01:04:46,412 Sorry, I'm late. 1665 01:04:46,414 --> 01:04:47,846 Did I miss something? 1666 01:04:47,848 --> 01:04:50,015 You're so stupid. 1667 01:04:50,017 --> 01:04:51,618 Meet your daughter. 1668 01:04:51,620 --> 01:04:52,884 It's a girl? 1669 01:04:52,886 --> 01:04:54,921 Stephanie Jenkins Kowalski. 1670 01:04:54,923 --> 01:04:56,457 RICHARD: Oh! 1671 01:05:00,495 --> 01:05:02,397 She's totally asleep. 1672 01:05:05,533 --> 01:05:08,636 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC) 1673 01:05:13,341 --> 01:05:16,345 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 1674 01:05:18,345 --> 01:05:19,948 This is it, 305. 1675 01:05:25,787 --> 01:05:26,852 You ready? 1676 01:05:26,854 --> 01:05:28,654 I think so. 1677 01:05:28,656 --> 01:05:29,892 Come on then. 1678 01:05:34,328 --> 01:05:35,560 It's gonna be okay. 1679 01:05:35,562 --> 01:05:37,497 This is what you've been waiting for. 1680 01:05:37,499 --> 01:05:39,432 Yeah, I'm just a little nervous. 1681 01:05:39,434 --> 01:05:40,269 Me too. 1682 01:05:43,838 --> 01:05:45,404 Stand up straight. 1683 01:05:45,406 --> 01:05:47,874 First impressions are essential to new relationships, 1684 01:05:47,876 --> 01:05:49,011 don't you think? 1685 01:05:52,479 --> 01:05:55,848 Well, it took you long enough. 1686 01:05:55,850 --> 01:05:57,582 Look at you, Nick. 1687 01:05:57,584 --> 01:05:58,817 You look like the same self-centered ass 1688 01:05:58,819 --> 01:06:01,020 I fell for all those years ago. 1689 01:06:01,022 --> 01:06:04,026 You haven't changed a bit, have you? 1690 01:06:05,493 --> 01:06:06,328 This him? 1691 01:06:07,629 --> 01:06:08,928 What is his name again? 1692 01:06:08,930 --> 01:06:10,363 My name's Mason. 1693 01:06:10,365 --> 01:06:11,798 It's nice to meet you. 1694 01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:13,098 Mason? 1695 01:06:13,100 --> 01:06:15,100 Did I name you that? 1696 01:06:15,102 --> 01:06:16,868 What kind of name is Mason? 1697 01:06:16,870 --> 01:06:19,971 Like a cartoon moose or something. 1698 01:06:19,973 --> 01:06:21,743 You know what I mean? 1699 01:06:23,044 --> 01:06:24,042 I'm kidding, it's cute. 1700 01:06:24,044 --> 01:06:27,615 Come on in, meet your brothers and sisters. 1701 01:06:28,982 --> 01:06:31,984 (KIDS LAUGHING) 1702 01:06:31,986 --> 01:06:33,022 Hey! 1703 01:06:37,492 --> 01:06:38,924 Mason, I don't know if you ate, hon. 1704 01:06:38,926 --> 01:06:43,395 We have Easy Mac or Cap'n Crunch if you want. 1705 01:06:43,397 --> 01:06:44,730 I'm okay, thanks. 1706 01:06:44,732 --> 01:06:45,564 Okay. 1707 01:06:45,566 --> 01:06:47,435 Hey, listen up. 1708 01:06:50,372 --> 01:06:52,372 This is Mason, he's your new brother. 1709 01:06:52,374 --> 01:06:55,077 This is Frankie, Lenny, Johnny and, 1710 01:06:56,877 --> 01:06:57,713 Todd. 1711 01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:01,413 I was going to meetings when I had him, so. 1712 01:07:01,415 --> 01:07:03,816 So this little cutie is Rachel. 1713 01:07:03,818 --> 01:07:05,084 Can you say hello? 1714 01:07:05,086 --> 01:07:06,451 Yeah. 1715 01:07:06,453 --> 01:07:08,120 Where's their dad? 1716 01:07:08,122 --> 01:07:11,457 Lock-up, rehab, shacked up with a pole dancer in Barstow 1717 01:07:11,459 --> 01:07:13,058 and buried in Texas. 1718 01:07:13,060 --> 01:07:14,993 But we don't talk about that. 1719 01:07:14,995 --> 01:07:17,397 Frankie, here, take your sister. 1720 01:07:17,399 --> 01:07:20,031 Get that crap out of your hair. 1721 01:07:20,033 --> 01:07:21,002 Get her a toy. 1722 01:07:22,636 --> 01:07:24,035 Mason, why don't you sit with the boys and watch TV 1723 01:07:24,037 --> 01:07:26,439 while your daddy and I have a little talk, okay? 1724 01:07:26,441 --> 01:07:28,042 Yeah, yeah, sure. 1725 01:07:33,180 --> 01:07:34,015 Hey, guys. 1726 01:07:37,017 --> 01:07:39,687 (KIDS GIGGLING) 1727 01:07:43,057 --> 01:07:44,689 All right, I'll take him. 1728 01:07:44,691 --> 01:07:46,426 You'll take him? 1729 01:07:46,428 --> 01:07:49,629 Yeah, that's why you came all the way here, isn't it? 1730 01:07:49,631 --> 01:07:52,131 Obviously you don't want him. 1731 01:07:52,133 --> 01:07:56,071 Well, it's not that I don't want him, I just 1732 01:07:56,905 --> 01:07:57,870 have my reasons. 1733 01:07:57,872 --> 01:07:58,671 Oh, yeah, sure. 1734 01:07:58,673 --> 01:08:00,508 You boys always have your reasons. 1735 01:08:03,678 --> 01:08:05,381 Why didn't you ever tell me? 1736 01:08:07,582 --> 01:08:09,417 You were gone, Nick. 1737 01:08:11,653 --> 01:08:13,185 You disappeared on me. 1738 01:08:13,187 --> 01:08:17,223 No goodbye, no good luck, not even a good riddance. 1739 01:08:17,225 --> 01:08:18,590 I'm sorry. 1740 01:08:18,592 --> 01:08:19,892 Oh, no. 1741 01:08:19,894 --> 01:08:22,562 I'm sure you had your reasons. 1742 01:08:22,564 --> 01:08:23,464 I had mine. 1743 01:08:25,467 --> 01:08:28,036 I was young, scared, alone. 1744 01:08:31,172 --> 01:08:33,505 I couldn't even afford a phone. 1745 01:08:33,507 --> 01:08:35,843 So, you know, I gave him up. 1746 01:08:36,977 --> 01:08:38,710 I felt so damned guilty about it, 1747 01:08:38,712 --> 01:08:41,883 I vowed never to give up a baby again. 1748 01:08:43,016 --> 01:08:45,987 You can see how well that turned out. 1749 01:08:47,187 --> 01:08:50,755 I'm sorry, I can't imagine how hard it would be to 1750 01:08:50,757 --> 01:08:52,994 raise all those kids alone. 1751 01:08:54,229 --> 01:08:56,127 Oh, well, at least he's old enough to get a work permit. 1752 01:08:56,129 --> 01:08:59,197 If nothing else, he'll be another source of income. 1753 01:08:59,199 --> 01:09:02,734 Listen, I fully intend to contribute to his well-being so. 1754 01:09:02,736 --> 01:09:05,971 Yeah, oh, yeah, you will be doing that, too. 1755 01:09:05,973 --> 01:09:07,572 I'm sure you can afford it 1756 01:09:07,574 --> 01:09:11,176 being you're the famous kid-hater and all that. 1757 01:09:11,178 --> 01:09:13,813 You should follow me around for a day. 1758 01:09:13,815 --> 01:09:16,118 You'd get some great material. 1759 01:09:17,150 --> 01:09:17,985 Seriously. 1760 01:09:19,253 --> 01:09:21,789 (CHUCKLING) 1761 01:09:24,792 --> 01:09:25,992 All right, I'm curious. 1762 01:09:25,994 --> 01:09:28,126 What are your reasons this time around? 1763 01:09:28,128 --> 01:09:32,063 Well, for one thing, I'm getting married on Sunday. 1764 01:09:32,065 --> 01:09:34,200 Congratulations. 1765 01:09:34,202 --> 01:09:35,635 Let me guess. 1766 01:09:35,637 --> 01:09:37,169 She's a total peach with a rocking body 1767 01:09:37,171 --> 01:09:40,139 and a personality so sunny she blooms daffodils 1768 01:09:40,141 --> 01:09:41,741 right outta her ass. 1769 01:09:41,743 --> 01:09:42,577 Hey. 1770 01:09:45,579 --> 01:09:48,850 She doesn't know about him, does she? 1771 01:09:50,752 --> 01:09:53,088 (CHUCKLING) 1772 01:09:54,556 --> 01:09:55,757 That's rich, man. 1773 01:09:58,126 --> 01:09:59,858 Nothing like starting a lifelong commitment 1774 01:09:59,860 --> 01:10:01,696 with a big fat secret. 1775 01:10:04,031 --> 01:10:06,698 (LAUGHING) 1776 01:10:06,700 --> 01:10:08,870 Good luck with that, Nick. 1777 01:10:10,305 --> 01:10:14,307 Mom, Lenny and Johnny are tattooing the baby again! 1778 01:10:14,309 --> 01:10:15,640 Oh, for Christ sake! 1779 01:10:15,642 --> 01:10:17,343 You little monsters! 1780 01:10:17,345 --> 01:10:21,279 What have I told you about drawing on the baby, huh? 1781 01:10:21,281 --> 01:10:23,316 This is permanent marker! 1782 01:10:23,318 --> 01:10:25,587 What is wrong with you two? 1783 01:10:29,324 --> 01:10:32,094 Everybody go to bed right now! 1784 01:10:37,598 --> 01:10:38,363 Well, that's another two weeks 1785 01:10:38,365 --> 01:10:40,099 I can't take her out in public. 1786 01:10:40,101 --> 01:10:41,834 I know, I know, honey. 1787 01:10:41,836 --> 01:10:44,737 Frankie, go get the air mattress out of the shed. 1788 01:10:44,739 --> 01:10:45,938 I'm putting Mason in with you three. 1789 01:10:45,940 --> 01:10:47,005 Oh, come on! 1790 01:10:47,007 --> 01:10:47,974 There no room in there as it... 1791 01:10:47,976 --> 01:10:50,276 Hey, do not back talk me. 1792 01:10:50,278 --> 01:10:53,748 It's fine, I'll just sleep on the couch. 1793 01:10:55,048 --> 01:10:56,081 Well, thank you, Mason. 1794 01:10:56,083 --> 01:10:57,617 That's very helpful. 1795 01:10:57,619 --> 01:10:58,350 I gotta go clean her up. 1796 01:10:58,352 --> 01:11:00,721 Say goodbye to your father. 1797 01:11:08,629 --> 01:11:10,328 MASON: I'd just like to say thank you. 1798 01:11:10,330 --> 01:11:11,997 NICK: For what? 1799 01:11:11,999 --> 01:11:15,701 For keeping your promise and helping me find my mother. 1800 01:11:15,703 --> 01:11:17,138 You're welcome. 1801 01:11:18,338 --> 01:11:19,574 Listen. 1802 01:11:21,909 --> 01:11:24,212 Is there anything you need or, 1803 01:11:26,047 --> 01:11:27,013 anything I can... 1804 01:11:27,015 --> 01:11:28,584 No, I'll be fine. 1805 01:11:29,984 --> 01:11:32,318 I told you, all I wanted from you was this one thing 1806 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:33,885 and you did it. 1807 01:11:33,887 --> 01:11:36,824 Now you can go off and get married. 1808 01:11:38,258 --> 01:11:40,259 Yeah, well, that seems kinda questionable at this point. 1809 01:11:40,261 --> 01:11:41,661 Why? 1810 01:11:41,663 --> 01:11:42,894 I thought once I was out of the way, 1811 01:11:42,896 --> 01:11:44,663 you'd be free to get married. 1812 01:11:44,665 --> 01:11:46,264 Well, it seemed that way last night 1813 01:11:46,266 --> 01:11:50,037 but this has been a very, very, very long day. 1814 01:11:52,440 --> 01:11:53,272 Are you all right? 1815 01:11:53,274 --> 01:11:54,843 What are you doing? 1816 01:11:56,244 --> 01:11:58,044 I'm calling on my own psychic powers 1817 01:11:58,046 --> 01:12:00,248 to see how things turn out. 1818 01:12:03,985 --> 01:12:05,417 NICK: Well? 1819 01:12:05,419 --> 01:12:06,622 Well what? 1820 01:12:07,623 --> 01:12:10,423 Well, aren't you gonna tell me what's in store? 1821 01:12:10,425 --> 01:12:11,389 Heck, no. 1822 01:12:11,391 --> 01:12:13,160 That'd be cheating. 1823 01:12:14,227 --> 01:12:15,663 What a rip-off. 1824 01:12:17,198 --> 01:12:20,302 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC) 1825 01:12:57,504 --> 01:12:58,470 Well, I mean, this seemed like 1826 01:12:58,472 --> 01:13:00,371 the perfect moment to say it. 1827 01:13:00,373 --> 01:13:01,976 You're my father. 1828 01:13:07,981 --> 01:13:10,349 Is there any way I could take a piece of that for the road? 1829 01:13:10,351 --> 01:13:11,983 (SCREAMING) 1830 01:13:11,985 --> 01:13:13,318 When was the last time you had your radar gun 1831 01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:15,487 calibrated for accuracy? 1832 01:13:15,489 --> 01:13:16,622 Are you a ninja? 1833 01:13:16,624 --> 01:13:20,192 I knew I had met the man of my dreams when he spoke 1834 01:13:20,194 --> 01:13:24,031 these three precious words to me, I hate kids. 1835 01:13:26,967 --> 01:13:29,268 So, what is that thing anyway? 1836 01:13:29,270 --> 01:13:30,803 It's a fidget spinner. 1837 01:13:30,805 --> 01:13:32,071 It helps keep me calm. 1838 01:13:32,073 --> 01:13:33,005 NICK: Oh, yeah? 1839 01:13:33,007 --> 01:13:35,077 I could use one of those. 1840 01:13:50,792 --> 01:13:53,495 (DOORBELL RINGING) 1841 01:14:02,136 --> 01:14:03,434 Hi. 1842 01:14:03,436 --> 01:14:04,472 Hi. 1843 01:14:13,013 --> 01:14:14,246 Thanks for coming by. 1844 01:14:14,248 --> 01:14:18,050 It was at the top of my to-do list today. 1845 01:14:18,052 --> 01:14:21,123 How was the lecture in Santa Barbara? 1846 01:14:25,092 --> 01:14:27,126 There was no lecture. 1847 01:14:27,128 --> 01:14:28,560 I know. 1848 01:14:28,562 --> 01:14:29,429 We need to have a serious... 1849 01:14:29,431 --> 01:14:31,831 I'm calling off the wedding, Nick. 1850 01:14:31,833 --> 01:14:32,665 That's what I was gonna do. 1851 01:14:32,667 --> 01:14:35,099 Well, it's too late, I just did it. 1852 01:14:35,101 --> 01:14:36,434 Yeah, I heard that. 1853 01:14:36,436 --> 01:14:37,670 Why were you gonna call it off? 1854 01:14:37,672 --> 01:14:40,505 Oh, no, you called it off first, you gotta say why first. 1855 01:14:40,507 --> 01:14:43,075 Well, I first considered it 1856 01:14:43,077 --> 01:14:44,910 when I found out there wasn't a lecture 1857 01:14:44,912 --> 01:14:47,315 in Santa Barbara or wherever. 1858 01:14:48,248 --> 01:14:49,081 That's what did it? 1859 01:14:49,083 --> 01:14:50,482 No. 1860 01:14:50,484 --> 01:14:52,518 And then I found this giant box of girlfriends 1861 01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:54,586 which was horrifying. 1862 01:14:54,588 --> 01:14:57,255 How did you ever find time to write a book? 1863 01:14:57,257 --> 01:14:58,590 So that's why you're calling it off? 1864 01:14:58,592 --> 01:14:59,425 No. 1865 01:14:59,427 --> 01:15:00,492 No? 1866 01:15:00,494 --> 01:15:02,594 It wasn't your lying in the present 1867 01:15:02,596 --> 01:15:06,497 and it wasn't my trolling around the past. 1868 01:15:06,499 --> 01:15:08,537 It's about the future. 1869 01:15:10,070 --> 01:15:11,336 You don't want to marry me 1870 01:15:11,338 --> 01:15:12,604 because of something I haven't done yet? 1871 01:15:12,606 --> 01:15:14,639 It's not about you, Nick. 1872 01:15:14,641 --> 01:15:16,207 It's about me. 1873 01:15:16,209 --> 01:15:17,443 You don't want to marry me 1874 01:15:17,445 --> 01:15:20,549 because of something you haven't done yet? 1875 01:15:22,115 --> 01:15:24,019 I've changed my mind. 1876 01:15:25,586 --> 01:15:27,823 I wanna have a family. 1877 01:15:28,890 --> 01:15:29,891 I want kids. 1878 01:15:33,494 --> 01:15:34,893 Nick. 1879 01:15:34,895 --> 01:15:37,563 You need to trust me, Sydney. 1880 01:15:37,565 --> 01:15:42,201 I've loved you since the first time I saw you. 1881 01:15:42,203 --> 01:15:45,603 I love you with every molecule of my being. 1882 01:15:45,605 --> 01:15:48,510 I don't wanna be without you, ever. 1883 01:15:50,311 --> 01:15:52,210 You believe that, right? 1884 01:15:52,212 --> 01:15:53,912 Yes. 1885 01:15:53,914 --> 01:15:56,081 Then come with me. 1886 01:15:56,083 --> 01:15:57,619 Where are we going? 1887 01:15:58,686 --> 01:16:01,319 I can't undo everything in my past 1888 01:16:01,321 --> 01:16:03,421 but there is one thing that I can change. 1889 01:16:03,423 --> 01:16:04,258 Come on. 1890 01:16:06,526 --> 01:16:09,497 (LIVELY MOVING MUSIC) 1891 01:16:23,476 --> 01:16:25,544 FRANK: I'm gonna get you, Johnny! 1892 01:16:25,546 --> 01:16:26,481 Hey, hey! 1893 01:16:34,020 --> 01:16:35,122 Hello, Nick. 1894 01:16:40,226 --> 01:16:41,960 This must be daffodil. 1895 01:16:41,962 --> 01:16:43,163 Hi, I'm Sydney. 1896 01:16:44,699 --> 01:16:46,197 Please. 1897 01:16:46,199 --> 01:16:47,599 You forget something? 1898 01:16:47,601 --> 01:16:50,202 I want Mason back. 1899 01:16:50,204 --> 01:16:52,537 Really, what happened? 1900 01:16:52,539 --> 01:16:55,541 You feel guilty for a change? 1901 01:16:55,543 --> 01:16:57,445 What's it like for you? 1902 01:16:58,678 --> 01:16:59,978 Just get him. 1903 01:16:59,980 --> 01:17:02,715 Oh, I would love to but he's gone. 1904 01:17:02,717 --> 01:17:03,648 Gone? 1905 01:17:03,650 --> 01:17:05,384 What do you mean he's gone? 1906 01:17:05,386 --> 01:17:06,417 He snuck out in the middle of the night. 1907 01:17:06,419 --> 01:17:07,618 Just up and left. 1908 01:17:07,620 --> 01:17:11,357 Not a goodbye, not a good luck, not even a good riddance. 1909 01:17:11,359 --> 01:17:12,558 Congratulations, Nick, 1910 01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:14,727 he turned out to be just like you after all. 1911 01:17:14,729 --> 01:17:16,761 Well, don't you have any idea where he is? 1912 01:17:16,763 --> 01:17:18,967 What do I look like a mind reader? 1913 01:17:22,602 --> 01:17:24,702 THE AMAZING FABULAR: I'm getting an A. 1914 01:17:24,704 --> 01:17:26,140 A really big A. 1915 01:17:29,243 --> 01:17:30,078 Nick? 1916 01:17:36,717 --> 01:17:39,350 I know how to find him. 1917 01:17:39,352 --> 01:17:42,453 We, the gifted, face insurmountable odds 1918 01:17:42,455 --> 01:17:44,756 in a world that continues to lean in favor 1919 01:17:44,758 --> 01:17:47,494 of dark skepticism and disbelief. 1920 01:17:49,430 --> 01:17:51,796 For centuries, we were heralded and praised, 1921 01:17:51,798 --> 01:17:55,033 even worshipped for our abilities. 1922 01:17:55,035 --> 01:17:57,402 But in these troubled times, when what we provide 1923 01:17:57,404 --> 01:17:59,571 comfort and hope are needed the most, 1924 01:17:59,573 --> 01:18:02,741 we are shunned, vilified, even hunted 1925 01:18:02,743 --> 01:18:07,246 by those who cannot see past their own fears. 1926 01:18:07,248 --> 01:18:10,049 We all know that when things become their worst, 1927 01:18:10,051 --> 01:18:12,317 when what is desperately sought cannot be found 1928 01:18:12,319 --> 01:18:16,487 by traditional means, that is when skeptics bow their heads 1929 01:18:16,489 --> 01:18:19,426 and concede to their lack of sight. 1930 01:18:20,628 --> 01:18:21,696 How delightful! 1931 01:18:24,065 --> 01:18:27,066 I just love the smell of humble pie, don't you? 1932 01:18:27,068 --> 01:18:28,767 (ATTENDEES LAUGHING) 1933 01:18:28,769 --> 01:18:30,234 At this time, Mr. Sparkles and I 1934 01:18:30,236 --> 01:18:31,769 will be entertaining your questions. 1935 01:18:31,771 --> 01:18:35,773 Just step right up to the mic and ask away. 1936 01:18:35,775 --> 01:18:38,109 Go on, don't be skittish. 1937 01:18:38,111 --> 01:18:38,747 Anyone? 1938 01:18:39,779 --> 01:18:42,346 No one have, of course. 1939 01:18:42,348 --> 01:18:43,816 If you are as gifted as I am, 1940 01:18:43,818 --> 01:18:47,219 you already know the answers, don't you? 1941 01:18:47,221 --> 01:18:48,519 Well, let's saunter over to the pool 1942 01:18:48,521 --> 01:18:50,456 for the pyrokinetic meet and greet. 1943 01:18:50,458 --> 01:18:51,689 In response to last year's faux pas, 1944 01:18:51,691 --> 01:18:53,425 I'm told there's much more fire extinguishers 1945 01:18:53,427 --> 01:18:55,030 this time around. 1946 01:18:56,129 --> 01:18:57,798 I have a question. 1947 01:18:59,100 --> 01:19:02,300 Isn't it true that you're a fraud? 1948 01:19:02,302 --> 01:19:03,535 I beg your pardon? 1949 01:19:03,537 --> 01:19:05,470 Didn't you admit to me just yesterday 1950 01:19:05,472 --> 01:19:09,640 that your entire career was forged from being an imposter? 1951 01:19:09,642 --> 01:19:10,742 Guards, will you escort this barbarian 1952 01:19:10,744 --> 01:19:12,643 off the premises, please? 1953 01:19:12,645 --> 01:19:13,478 What are you doing? 1954 01:19:13,480 --> 01:19:14,412 All right then... 1955 01:19:14,414 --> 01:19:16,115 Sir, you need to come with us. 1956 01:19:16,117 --> 01:19:17,215 All right, I challenge you in front of all your peers 1957 01:19:17,217 --> 01:19:20,685 to prove that you are not a fake! 1958 01:19:20,687 --> 01:19:22,487 How do you suppose I do that? 1959 01:19:22,489 --> 01:19:23,657 Find my son. 1960 01:19:25,258 --> 01:19:26,492 Right now. 1961 01:19:26,494 --> 01:19:29,731 You found me for him, now find him for me. 1962 01:19:30,698 --> 01:19:33,535 I want him in my life. 1963 01:19:34,869 --> 01:19:36,434 MAN: Just do it. 1964 01:19:36,436 --> 01:19:38,836 Do it, Fabular, come on. 1965 01:19:38,838 --> 01:19:41,740 I got $500 here for the first psychic 1966 01:19:41,742 --> 01:19:43,908 that can find my son. 1967 01:19:43,910 --> 01:19:45,844 He's on a train to Istanbul! 1968 01:19:45,846 --> 01:19:48,846 He's at Delray Beach, tower 22! 1969 01:19:48,848 --> 01:19:51,617 He's fishing in Lake Charles, Louisiana! 1970 01:19:51,619 --> 01:19:54,819 He is in San Francisco at the opening of the opera. 1971 01:19:54,821 --> 01:19:55,655 Wait! 1972 01:19:56,824 --> 01:20:02,196 He's in Pismo Beach at Melvin's house! 1973 01:20:03,396 --> 01:20:06,564 (PSYCHICS TALKING OVER EACH OTHER) 1974 01:20:06,566 --> 01:20:08,267 Do you actually need to be a psychic to take a guess? 1975 01:20:08,269 --> 01:20:10,370 (HUSHES) 1976 01:20:14,941 --> 01:20:16,144 He's here. 1977 01:20:20,847 --> 01:20:22,649 MASON: Hi, Nick. 1978 01:20:24,318 --> 01:20:27,387 (MELLOW PIANO MUSIC) 1979 01:20:28,489 --> 01:20:29,324 Hi, son. 1980 01:20:35,262 --> 01:20:36,698 ATTENDEES: Aw. 1981 01:20:43,204 --> 01:20:46,938 Hey, Mason, why would you run away? 1982 01:20:46,940 --> 01:20:50,576 I came to ask Fabular if I could live with him. 1983 01:20:50,578 --> 01:20:51,876 I don't wanna live with my mother. 1984 01:20:51,878 --> 01:20:53,778 She isn't very nice. 1985 01:20:53,780 --> 01:20:57,381 No, I think she's just not happy right now 1986 01:20:57,383 --> 01:20:58,349 but I think there's something we can do 1987 01:20:58,351 --> 01:20:59,854 to maybe change that. 1988 01:21:01,254 --> 01:21:03,487 Hi, I'm Sydney. 1989 01:21:03,489 --> 01:21:05,691 It's nice to officially meet you. 1990 01:21:05,693 --> 01:21:07,459 It's nice to meet you, Sydney. 1991 01:21:07,461 --> 01:21:09,928 Nick talks about you all the time. 1992 01:21:09,930 --> 01:21:12,997 He is definitely yours. 1993 01:21:12,999 --> 01:21:15,000 Hey, Fabular! 1994 01:21:15,002 --> 01:21:17,868 You said on the radio that Petey was on his way home to me! 1995 01:21:17,870 --> 01:21:19,470 But he was already dead! 1996 01:21:19,472 --> 01:21:20,973 You lied, you bastard! 1997 01:21:20,975 --> 01:21:23,242 This is for Petey! 1998 01:21:23,244 --> 01:21:25,947 (PEOPLE SHRIEKING) 1999 01:21:29,917 --> 01:21:30,952 Whoa! 2000 01:21:31,985 --> 01:21:32,819 Damn it! 2001 01:21:34,954 --> 01:21:36,925 Whoa, are you okay? 2002 01:21:40,526 --> 01:21:41,529 Scarecrow! 2003 01:21:42,829 --> 01:21:43,664 Tin Man! 2004 01:21:45,365 --> 01:21:45,966 My lion! 2005 01:21:49,503 --> 01:21:51,469 Thank you, Ernie. 2006 01:21:51,471 --> 01:21:52,706 I'll take my. 2007 01:21:54,908 --> 01:21:57,979 (LIGHT MELLOW MUSIC) 2008 01:22:04,284 --> 01:22:06,617 Is there anyone here today who knows of a reason 2009 01:22:06,619 --> 01:22:11,225 why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? 2010 01:22:14,962 --> 01:22:16,928 Good, ladies and gentlemen, 2011 01:22:16,930 --> 01:22:18,697 it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you 2012 01:22:18,699 --> 01:22:21,700 Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Pearson. 2013 01:22:21,702 --> 01:22:22,968 (BARKS) 2014 01:22:22,970 --> 01:22:24,935 Kiss the bride. 2015 01:22:24,937 --> 01:22:27,941 (GUESTS APPLAUDING) 2016 01:22:33,747 --> 01:22:37,049 DC THE BRAIN SUPREME: Party people! 2017 01:22:37,051 --> 01:22:40,254 Yeah, Tag Team music in full effect! 2018 01:22:41,587 --> 01:22:46,425 That's me, DC the Brain Supreme and my man Steve Roll'n! 2019 01:22:46,427 --> 01:22:47,093 ♪ We're kickin' the flow ♪ 2020 01:22:47,095 --> 01:22:48,126 ♪ We're kickin' the flow ♪ 2021 01:22:48,128 --> 01:22:49,760 ♪ And it goes a little something like this ♪ 2022 01:22:49,762 --> 01:22:51,595 ♪ Tag Team, back again ♪ 2023 01:22:51,597 --> 01:22:52,997 ♪ Check it to wreck it, let's begin ♪ 2024 01:22:52,999 --> 01:22:54,965 ♪ Party on, party people, let me hear some noise ♪ 2025 01:22:54,967 --> 01:22:56,835 ♪ DC's in the house, jump, jump, rejoice ♪ 2026 01:22:56,837 --> 01:22:58,670 ♪ There's a party over here, a party over there ♪ 2027 01:22:58,672 --> 01:23:00,438 ♪ Wave your hands in the air, shake your derriere ♪ 2028 01:23:00,440 --> 01:23:02,407 ♪ These three words mean you're gettin' busy ♪ 2029 01:23:02,409 --> 01:23:03,841 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2030 01:23:03,843 --> 01:23:05,977 ♪ Hit me, whoomp, there it is ♪ 2031 01:23:05,979 --> 01:23:07,946 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2032 01:23:07,948 --> 01:23:09,781 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2033 01:23:09,783 --> 01:23:11,849 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2034 01:23:11,851 --> 01:23:13,053 Hey, hey, hey! 2035 01:23:13,986 --> 01:23:15,086 Hey! 2036 01:23:15,088 --> 01:23:17,022 Excuse me. 2037 01:23:17,024 --> 01:23:19,090 Is this one of yours? 2038 01:23:19,092 --> 01:23:20,694 Yep, afraid so. 2039 01:23:22,462 --> 01:23:23,463 Here you go. 2040 01:23:24,698 --> 01:23:28,133 Wow, your husband's a lucky man. 2041 01:23:28,135 --> 01:23:30,035 KID: I want that one. 2042 01:23:30,037 --> 01:23:31,702 I love kids. 2043 01:23:31,704 --> 01:23:34,975 Oh, there is no husband. 2044 01:23:36,043 --> 01:23:37,312 It's just me. 2045 01:23:39,145 --> 01:23:40,814 My name is Walter. 2046 01:23:41,882 --> 01:23:43,014 Joanna. 2047 01:23:43,016 --> 01:23:44,148 Joanna? 2048 01:23:44,150 --> 01:23:45,550 Yeah. 2049 01:23:45,552 --> 01:23:47,018 That's a beautiful name. 2050 01:23:47,020 --> 01:23:48,553 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2051 01:23:48,555 --> 01:23:52,557 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2052 01:23:52,559 --> 01:23:56,127 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2053 01:23:56,129 --> 01:23:59,563 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2054 01:23:59,565 --> 01:24:03,402 ♪ Whoomp, shaka-laka-shaka-laka shaka-laka shaka ♪ 2055 01:24:03,404 --> 01:24:05,170 ♪ Point blank, gin and juice I drink ♪ 2056 01:24:05,172 --> 01:24:06,971 ♪ And then invent as I puff on dank ♪ 2057 01:24:06,973 --> 01:24:08,740 ♪ Rock the mic, uh oh, I crave skin ♪ 2058 01:24:08,742 --> 01:24:10,709 ♪ Rip, find a honey dip to dip it in ♪ 2059 01:24:10,711 --> 01:24:12,844 ♪ Slam dunk it, stick it, flip it and ride ♪ 2060 01:24:12,846 --> 01:24:14,112 ♪ That B-double-O-T-Y, oh my ♪ 2061 01:24:14,114 --> 01:24:16,180 ♪ Ooh, that's it, come on, come on ♪ 2062 01:24:16,182 --> 01:24:18,483 ♪ Whoomp, there it is, I'm done ♪ 2063 01:24:18,485 --> 01:24:19,117 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2064 01:24:19,119 --> 01:24:20,152 ♪ Come on, y'all ♪ 2065 01:24:20,154 --> 01:24:21,085 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2066 01:24:21,087 --> 01:24:22,120 ♪ A little louder ♪ 2067 01:24:22,122 --> 01:24:23,121 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2068 01:24:23,123 --> 01:24:24,156 ♪ Come on, y'all ♪ 2069 01:24:24,158 --> 01:24:24,990 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2070 01:24:24,992 --> 01:24:25,823 ♪ Louder ♪ 2071 01:24:25,825 --> 01:24:26,992 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2072 01:24:26,994 --> 01:24:27,826 ♪ Come on, y'all ♪ 2073 01:24:27,828 --> 01:24:28,926 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2074 01:24:28,928 --> 01:24:29,760 ♪ A little louder ♪ 2075 01:24:29,762 --> 01:24:30,629 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2076 01:24:30,631 --> 01:24:31,462 ♪ Come on y'all ♪ 2077 01:24:31,464 --> 01:24:32,798 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2078 01:24:32,800 --> 01:24:33,631 ♪ Louder ♪ 2079 01:24:33,633 --> 01:24:34,566 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2080 01:24:34,568 --> 01:24:35,466 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2081 01:24:35,468 --> 01:24:36,134 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2082 01:24:36,136 --> 01:24:37,202 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2083 01:24:37,204 --> 01:24:38,636 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2084 01:24:38,638 --> 01:24:39,470 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2085 01:24:39,472 --> 01:24:40,104 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2086 01:24:40,106 --> 01:24:41,139 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2087 01:24:41,141 --> 01:24:41,973 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2088 01:24:41,975 --> 01:24:42,808 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2089 01:24:42,810 --> 01:24:43,642 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2090 01:24:43,644 --> 01:24:44,542 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2091 01:24:44,544 --> 01:24:45,643 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2092 01:24:45,645 --> 01:24:46,478 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2093 01:24:46,480 --> 01:24:47,446 ♪ Can ya feel it ♪ 2094 01:24:47,448 --> 01:24:48,546 ♪ We can feel it ♪ 2095 01:24:48,548 --> 01:24:49,980 ♪ Some say I'm crazy 'cause I'm pushing up daises ♪ 2096 01:24:49,982 --> 01:24:51,483 ♪ The underground sound that you have found ♪ 2097 01:24:51,485 --> 01:24:53,484 ♪ Amazing, outstanding, demanding ♪ 2098 01:24:53,486 --> 01:24:55,554 ♪ Commanding, you people dancing ♪ 2099 01:24:55,556 --> 01:24:57,589 ♪ Whoo, yeah, that's a breath taker ♪ 2100 01:24:57,591 --> 01:24:59,157 ♪ Our producer a.k.a. The Undertaker ♪ 2101 01:24:59,159 --> 01:25:01,193 ♪ You wanna come down to the underground old school ♪ 2102 01:25:01,195 --> 01:25:03,127 ♪ Here's a shovel, can you dig it, fool ♪ 2103 01:25:03,129 --> 01:25:04,161 ♪ Can you dig it ♪ 2104 01:25:04,163 --> 01:25:04,996 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2105 01:25:04,998 --> 01:25:05,863 ♪ Can y'all dig it ♪ 2106 01:25:05,865 --> 01:25:06,997 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2107 01:25:06,999 --> 01:25:07,832 ♪ Can you dig it ♪ 2108 01:25:07,834 --> 01:25:08,899 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2109 01:25:08,901 --> 01:25:09,733 ♪ Can y'all dig it ♪ 2110 01:25:09,735 --> 01:25:10,568 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2111 01:25:10,570 --> 01:25:11,202 ♪ Can you dig it ♪ 2112 01:25:11,204 --> 01:25:12,136 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2113 01:25:12,138 --> 01:25:13,205 ♪ Can y'all dig it ♪ 2114 01:25:13,207 --> 01:25:14,171 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2115 01:25:14,173 --> 01:25:15,206 ♪ Can you dig it ♪ 2116 01:25:15,208 --> 01:25:16,073 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2117 01:25:16,075 --> 01:25:16,974 ♪ Can y'all dig it ♪ 2118 01:25:16,976 --> 01:25:17,943 ♪ We can dig it ♪ 2119 01:25:17,945 --> 01:25:19,577 ♪ W-H-double O-M-P as I flow ♪ 2120 01:25:19,579 --> 01:25:21,479 ♪ To the fly from the school of old ♪ 2121 01:25:21,481 --> 01:25:22,980 ♪ Hard core, keep' the folklore wrecked ♪ 2122 01:25:22,982 --> 01:25:24,582 ♪ Three to the two and one, mic check ♪ 2123 01:25:24,584 --> 01:25:26,484 ♪ Mad skill, flow ill, on the mess of steel ♪ 2124 01:25:26,486 --> 01:25:28,185 ♪ That's the grille of the microphone I just killed ♪ 2125 01:25:28,187 --> 01:25:30,154 ♪ Party people, there's your party, Tag Team is through ♪ 2126 01:25:30,156 --> 01:25:32,157 ♪ Whoomp there it is, I thought you knew ♪ 2127 01:25:32,159 --> 01:25:33,925 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2128 01:25:33,927 --> 01:25:35,827 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2129 01:25:35,829 --> 01:25:37,761 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2130 01:25:37,763 --> 01:25:39,598 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2131 01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,500 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2132 01:25:41,502 --> 01:25:43,167 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2133 01:25:43,169 --> 01:25:45,135 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2134 01:25:45,137 --> 01:25:47,805 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2135 01:25:47,807 --> 01:25:50,175 DC THE BRAIN SUPREME: Yeah, Tag Team music 2136 01:25:50,177 --> 01:25:52,877 comin' straight at 'cha! 2137 01:25:52,879 --> 01:25:57,885 That's me, DC the Brain Supreme, and my man Steve Roll'n! 2138 01:25:59,019 --> 01:26:00,218 STEVE ROLL'N: Bring it back y'all, 2139 01:26:00,220 --> 01:26:01,853 bring it back y'all and here we go! 2140 01:26:01,855 --> 01:26:03,522 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2141 01:26:03,524 --> 01:26:05,290 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2142 01:26:05,292 --> 01:26:07,058 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2143 01:26:07,060 --> 01:26:09,059 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2144 01:26:09,061 --> 01:26:10,828 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2145 01:26:10,830 --> 01:26:12,697 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2146 01:26:12,699 --> 01:26:14,566 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2147 01:26:14,568 --> 01:26:16,535 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2148 01:26:16,537 --> 01:26:18,236 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2149 01:26:18,238 --> 01:26:20,272 ♪ Whoomp, there it is ♪ 2150 01:26:20,274 --> 01:26:21,171 (PEOPLE TALKING OVER EACH OTHER) 2151 01:26:21,173 --> 01:26:22,206 MAN: Whoomp, there it is 2152 01:26:22,208 --> 01:26:25,242 ♪ They say you know ♪ 2153 01:26:25,244 --> 01:26:27,978 ♪ So long ♪ 2154 01:26:27,980 --> 01:26:31,182 ♪ So long ♪ 2155 01:26:31,184 --> 01:26:34,286 ♪ We're missing messed up chances ♪ 2156 01:26:34,288 --> 01:26:36,287 ♪ And ride into ourselves ♪ 2157 01:26:36,289 --> 01:26:39,090 ♪ Enough ♪ 2158 01:26:39,092 --> 01:26:42,594 ♪ Enough ♪ 2159 01:26:42,596 --> 01:26:44,228 ♪ With how it was back then ♪ 2160 01:26:44,230 --> 01:26:48,265 ♪ I think we were ♪ 2161 01:26:48,267 --> 01:26:53,274 ♪ But if you want it all ♪ 2162 01:26:54,040 --> 01:26:58,578 ♪ I'll send you far ♪ 2163 01:26:59,279 --> 01:27:03,747 ♪ And when you walk away ♪ 2164 01:27:03,749 --> 01:27:06,587 ♪ Don't look down ♪ 2165 01:27:16,797 --> 01:27:19,163 ♪ We got scared and we got old ♪ 2166 01:27:19,165 --> 01:27:21,933 ♪ 85 miles an hour ago ♪ 2167 01:27:21,935 --> 01:27:26,941 ♪ Forever is a old country road ♪ 2168 01:27:28,141 --> 01:27:30,241 ♪ I think about the way you said ♪ 2169 01:27:30,243 --> 01:27:33,243 ♪ It feels like I could choke to death ♪ 2170 01:27:33,245 --> 01:27:38,252 ♪ And smile in your own pretty way ♪ 2171 01:27:38,885 --> 01:27:41,118 ♪ So long ♪ 2172 01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:44,389 ♪ So long ♪ 2173 01:27:44,391 --> 01:27:47,291 ♪ We're missing mystic smiles ♪ 2174 01:27:47,293 --> 01:27:49,627 ♪ We sink into ourselves ♪ 2175 01:27:49,629 --> 01:27:52,630 ♪ Enough ♪ 2176 01:27:52,632 --> 01:27:55,733 ♪ Enough ♪ 2177 01:27:55,735 --> 01:27:58,068 ♪ With how it was back then ♪ 2178 01:27:58,070 --> 01:28:01,639 ♪ I think we were ♪ 2179 01:28:01,641 --> 01:28:06,646 ♪ If you want it all ♪ 2180 01:28:07,413 --> 01:28:11,818 ♪ I'll send you far ♪ 2181 01:28:12,718 --> 01:28:17,022 ♪ And when you walk away ♪ 2182 01:28:17,024 --> 01:28:19,860 ♪ Don't look down ♪ 2183 01:28:40,312 --> 01:28:43,447 ♪ So long ♪ 2184 01:28:43,449 --> 01:28:47,051 ♪ So long ♪ 2185 01:28:47,053 --> 01:28:49,853 ♪ We're missing messed up chances ♪ 2186 01:28:49,855 --> 01:28:52,424 ♪ We'll ride into ourselves ♪ 2187 01:28:52,426 --> 01:28:54,992 ♪ Enough ♪ 2188 01:28:54,994 --> 01:28:58,462 ♪ Enough ♪ 2189 01:28:58,464 --> 01:29:01,032 ♪ How it was back then ♪ 2190 01:29:01,034 --> 01:29:03,134 ♪ The things we were ♪ 2191 01:29:03,136 --> 01:29:06,207 ♪ The things we were ♪ 2192 01:29:06,209 --> 01:29:11,209 Subtitles by explosiveskull 150477

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