All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s05e19 Gowns by Yvette.eng

( theme song playing )

Nectar of the gods.

( sniffs )

Mmm.

Sheer ambrosia.

Mmm-- LeBeau,
you've done it again.

Well, I'm glad
somebody likes your cooking.

Would you like to taste
this bouillabaisse?

No, I don't want
to spoil me lunch.

If I thought for one moment
you were serious...

Here.

No, I haven't been well.

Come on.

( sniffs )

Hey, that smells
like fish stew.

It's bouillabaisse
à la Marseillaise.

Oh.

( chokes )

( groans )

Cor. Well, it loses something
in the translation, mate.

Oh, that's horrible.

I should have know
better than to...

What did you put
in there, hair oil?

What do you mean,
what'd I put in there?

You'd be locked up
in the British Isles

if you gave that
to people.

Don't let the Germans
get that, mate. Thanks.

They'll win the war
in six months.

Hold it, hold it!

What seems to be
the problem?

I made the mistake of
asking an Englishman

to taste a gourmet dish.

It's not a gourmet dish;
it's ruddy fish stew!

That, from a man
who thinks

overcooked mutton
is a taste treat.

How about
a short truce

till Newkirk sews up
my torn sleeve?

Just take
a minute, sir.

Colonel,
I want you to taste my bouillabaisse.

Don't go by me-- I'm a peanut
butter and jelly man myself.

I trust your taste,
Colonel.

All right.

Here.

Hot?

Oh, yes, hot--
but delicious.

Actually, they didn't have
exactly what I needed.

I always put in
the head of an eel.

That would have made it for me.

Colonel, there's
a message coming in from the underground.

Mm-hmm.

Qu'est-ce que c'est
peanut putter?

You peasant.

This is Papa Bear.

We read you loud and clear.

Go ahead.

( Morse code transmitting )

Roger, Goldilocks.

We'll get back to you.

Oh, by the way,
on your next air drop,

we'll need some automatic
weapons, explosives and radios.

( beeping )

What?

( beeping )

Put it on Colonel Hogan's bill.

Over and out.

This is an expensive war.

What's the message?

"Underground sending
contact to Hammelburg.

"Will arrive Saturday.

"Information on mobile
rocket launching factory.

Top priority."

They're putting
those things on wheels?

Yeah, and once they roll out,
they'll be tough to find.

Where's the rendezvous?

The Hauserhof, room 606.

He's attending a wedding there.

A wedding?

And his orders are to give
the message only to Papa Bear.

Hey, it looks like
you're going to be

a wedding guest,
Colonel.

It's not going to be easy.

The guests are going
to be watched like a hawk.

You worried about
getting by the Gestapo?

No, the father
of the bride.

He's the one paying
for the wedding.

We got to figure some way
I can crash that wedding.

Don't worry
about it, sir.

I'm bound to come up
with something brilliant

the moment I put
me mind to it.

Ever eaten
bouillabaisse, Kinch?

Of course,
in New Orleans.

I love it.

Taste this.

Well, it's
pretty good, LeBeau,

but there's
something missing.

But, of course--
the head of an eel.

They always put that
in bouillabaisse.

You had to tell me that, huh?

There we are, sir.

All finished.

Thanks, Newkirk.

Hey, that's a good
job of sewing.

Well, thank you, sir.

Yeah.

That groom would be lucky
to get you as a bride.

Hogan, I've got to talk to you,
it's very important.

Go right ahead.

In your office--
it's personal.

Excuse me, fellas.

I think the commandant
wants to surrender.

Well, what seems to be
the problem, Commandant?

I'm being trapped
into a marriage.

Oh.

Little blonde waitress
at the Haufbrau?

No.

Tall brunette manicurist
at the hotel?

No.

Give me a hint.

She's short and squat.

Burkhalter's sister,
Gertrude.

Right.

Congratulations,
Commandant,

you're getting
a lot of woman there.

Please, Hogan, no jokes.

You're looking
at a desperate man.

I need help.

A little late
for that, isn't it?

What'd you propose for
in the first place?

Who proposed?

This morning, General Burkhalter
sent an order,

saying he was coming here
with a wedding party,

and I'm to make
all the arrangements

at the Hauserhof.

Hauserhof?

Yes...

the grand ballroom,

the scene of some
of my greatest triumphs.

Do you remember, Hogan,

only last week, I told you
about that dance?

You mean the
Stormtrooper Stomp?

Ja, ja.

There I was, surrounded
by beautiful women.

Twice I ran out of ink
writing down phone numbers.

Hogan, you've got
to help me.

I think marriage

will be good
for you, Commandant.

That is a terrible
thing to say...

even to an enemy.

It's about time
you settle down.

Really, if you ever
want to be general,

you have to get rid
of that playboy image.

Hogan, I guess
I misjudged you.

I always thought of you
as a romantic.

I'm also a realist.

Your luck has run out.

Try to back out of
this marriage again,

Burkhalter'll send you
to Russia like a shot.

Forget it.

I'll figure a way
out of this myself.

I'd hate to see the playboy
of the Western world

wind up a colonel
on the Eastern Front.

What was all that
about then, sir?

It's Klink that's getting
married at the Hauserhof.

Wow!

He doesn't seem
very happy.

It's Burkhalter's
sister again.

He's better off
on the Russian Front.

Works out very nicely for us.

Now I'm sure I'll get
an invitation to the wedding.

The way I look at it,

we're not losing
a camp commandant,

we're gaining
an underground agent.

Frau Hilda,
any messages for me?

Oh, General Burkhalter
and the wedding party

have arrived in Hammelburg.

They're here
already?

Well, General Burkhalter
will be here any minute.

I'll be in my office.

Herr Kommandant,
congratulations.

I just heard
the good news.

Please, Schultz.

Oh, Herr Kommandant,

you are going to get
a wonderful girl.

I know, I know.

Ah, and she looks
so healthy.

She seems to have
such a wonderful appetite.

Yes, she does.

And she's also
a very athletic woman.

I understand she got
a lot of medals for shot put.

Dismissed.

Oh!

Achtung!

BURKHALTER:
Colonel Klink.

General Burkhalter,
congratulations on the marriage.

Thank you, Schultz.

Oh, I...

I just noticed.

Oh, she's
the spitting image

of you,
General Burkhalter.

Oh, you could be twins!

Dismissed.

Have you started making
the arrangements

for the wedding, Klink?

Yes, I have, sir.

But there is something
I must discuss with you.

What is that?

Well, I don't have
to tell you

how lucky a man would be
to get Gertrude for a wife.

She's a wonderful woman--

jolly disposition...

great shot-putter.

Get to the point.

Well, you see, sir,

this is very difficult
for me to say,

but, uh, I feel in my heart

that I am not worthy
of Gertrude.

I feel the same way.

Then why do you want me
to marry her?

Are you crazy, Klink?

It's my niece, Frieda,

and she's marrying
Count von Hertzel.

Count von Hertzel?

Do you think I would
ever let a Burkhalter marry a Klink?

But I understand
that Count von Hertzel

is going to
the Russian Front.

He has changed his mind.

I mean, uh, his orders
have been changed.

Oh, this must indeed be
a happy day for you, sir.

My congratulations.

Never mind.

I just want you to
make the arrangements.

I assure you, sir,

that everything will be
taken care of.

Oh, sorry to break in
on you, sir,

but when my men heard
the good news,

they wanted me
to congratulate you.

Thank you, Colonel.

Uh, Hogan, the news
is even better than you think.

His niece, Frieda,

is marrying
Count von Hertzel.

Oh?

And I want the best
of everything.

Now, let me see...

Klink.... how much wine
do you have?

( laughs nervously )

What a pity.

My supply's so low,
all I've got left is

one small bottle
of Mozel.

Say, what about
that case of champagne

I saw being delivered
yesterday?

Champagne?

It slipped my mind.

Thank you for
reminding me, Hogan.

What can we have

in the way of
hors d'oeuvres?

I can offer you
two cans of anchovies.

There's
no sense dipping

into those jars of caviar
just for a wedding.

He's absolutely right.

I forgot I had
all that caviar.

It's a good thing
Colonel Hogan is here.

You seem to have
lost your memory.

I assure you, General,
nothing is too good

for Frieda
and Count von Hertzel.

Then you'll offer
that side of prime beef

you have in your private
food locker, sir?

Believe me, General,
I was just about to do that for you.

Good.

Well, that takes care
of the menu.

We will discuss
the other details later.

Excuse me, General,

but, uh, how's your niece
fixed for a bridal gown?

She said she will buy it
at the department store in Hammelburg.

A bridal gown
off the rack...

with Yvette of Paris
in town?

Yvette of Paris?

Mm-hmm.

The famous fashion designer?

Where is she?

In my barracks.

In your barracks?!

Better known to all of us
as Corporal Louis LeBeau.

I am Yvette of Paris?

I sold Burkhalter
on the idea

that you're the great
Parisian couturier,

and you're
going to create

an exclusive wedding dress
for his niece,

who happens to weigh in
at 210 pounds.

There's two things wrong
with that, Colonel.

One, LeBeau doesn't
know how to design a wedding gown,

and two, there is
not enough material

in Germany
to cover that bride.

Newkirk, you're going to make
the wedding dress,

and Burkhalter's going
to supply the material.

That'll pave the way for you
to contact the underground agent

at the Hauserhof, right?

Mm-hmm.

When can I meet
the bride, Colonel?

If I am going
to design a dress,

I'd like to get
her measurements.

We're going into town
this afternoon.

Wait a minute.

What makes you think

you can design
the bridal gown?

I'm French;
it's in our blood.

LeBeau, you can't even
sew a button on a shirt.

Neither can
Coco Chanel.

Newkirk will
do the sewing;

I will do
the creating.

Come on, we've got
arrangements to make.

( muttering ):
Oh, blimey...

No, apres vous,
my dear Yvette.

For the last time,
LeBeau, I'm asking you,

give me a hand
with this stuff.

Please, Newkirk,
Yvette is creating.

Creating?

You're nothing
but a lazy clod.

Ah-ah-ah, Newkirk.

That's not the way
to talk to a lady.

Thank you, Schultz.

Fellas, Miss
Burkhalter's room.

( knocking )

GERTRUDE:
Come in!

Where's my sketch pad?

Must have left it
in the car.

Well, I can't work
without my sketch pad.

You fellas go on in,
I'll run back and get it.

Okay.

Come on, he's just going
to get the sketch pad.

MAN:
Come.

Hi.

Don't move.

Raise your hands and
turn around slowly.

So, this is your
underground contact.

( chuckles )

I was just looking for
the Burkhalter wedding party.

Boy, did I get the wrong room.

AGENT:
For the last time,

why were you trying
to contact this man?

I told you, I'm
with the Burkhalter wedding party.

If you don't believe me,
ask Sergeant Schultz,

the guard that brought us
from camp.

We'll talk
to the guard.

Schultz!

Schultz!

Oh, here you are,
Colonel Hogan.

This gentleman thinks
I'm with the underground.

Will you tell him
what I'm doing here?

Colonel Hogan
is here with Yvette of Paris.

They're making
a wedding gown

for the niece
of General Burkhalter

by order of
General Burkhalter.

Thank you, Schultz.

This is all
too upsetting.

I cannot create
under these conditions.

I'll be back later.

Come, Newkirk.

But Yvette!

Later!

Colonel Hogan.

Please, Yvette,
come back!

Please, Yvette!

General Burkhalter's
going to be very unhappy with you.

Thank you.

If the Gestapo is
holding that agent,

how are we
going to get

the information
on the rockets?

That's Colonel
Hogan's problem.

I'm just
the flipping seamstress.

And not a very
good one either.

Come on.

I'm sewing
as fast as I can.

Hey, go easy on him.

Newkirk's not as young
as he used to be.

With a ballplayer,
it's his legs that go first.

With a seamstress,
it's the fingers.

That looks good
enough to me.

That's because
you don't know

what it takes to stop
a seam from popping.

He's right.

Remember that old saying:

A stitch in time
saves nine.

There's another
old saying:

Who asked you?

That's good
enough for now.

I say it isn't!

It's good enough
to try it on the model.

We are ready
for the fitting!

If you are ready,
I'm ready.

Here you are.

Try this on.

In the fitting
room, please.

Aw, come on,
we want to see how he looks.

I don't like anyone
to see my creations

until they have
reached perfection.

Those dress designers--

they always
seem peculiar.

Well, they
get that way

from pinning up
all those hems.

Come on, Schultz,
put your arms through.

There you are.

Here, stand
on the stool, huh?

Let's take
a look at you.

Come on.

Come on, up you go.

That's it,
don't be afraid.

You look
like the great white whale.

You think
I'm the same size

as General
Burkhalter's niece?

Nah, not really.

I think this
might be a bit loose on you.

Ah.

That is what I call
haute couture.

It looks nice.

Nice?

If Balenchia
could see this,

he would throw himself
off the Eiffel Tower.

Hmm... you know,

I still say
you've made that train too long.

It is not too long.

It would be
a lot more stylish

with a short train.

Not when it
has to cover a big caboose.

Oh, LeBeau...

you do such nice work.

Could you design
a dress for my wife?

Of course--
just bring me her measurements.

Take mine, and
you've got hers.

You know, Schultz,

if you ever get
short of tanks,

you can send
your wife in.

Jolly joke.

Why is it every time
I discard an eight,

you always take it?

Because I always
save eights.

Where's LeBeau
and Newkirk?

They're in
the fitting room with Schultz.

Oh.

Before we go back
to the Hauserhof,

we got to figure a way
to spring that agent.

How about sending
somebody in as one of the staff?

Yeah, it's no good.

They got Gestapo dressed up
as waiters, bellboys.

I even saw a chambermaid
with five o'clock shadow.

Well, at least
they didn't get Papa Bear.

They might, if we don't
get the agent out.

We don't know if he's
going to crack or not.

( humming
"Here Comes the Bride" )

Oh, my, what
a lovely bride.

It's a shame she's
already spoken for.

Hey, Schultz,
don't cry.

You'll ruin
the dress.

I always cry
at a wedding.

How do you like
the dress, Colonel?

It's beautiful.

You did a great job.

Thank you.

General Burkhalter
will be thrilled

when he sees his niece
in this dress.

Yeah, it's a pity

the groom won't
get the same thrill.

That's better
than being sent

to the Russian Front.

You can always
desert in Russia.

Gentlemen!

Oh, I'm sorry,
I didn't realize

you were having
a fitting, Fräulein Frieda.

Oh, Colonel Klink,
it's me, Schultz.

Schultz, what are you doing
wearing that wedding gown?

I was using him as
a model for the bride.

Uh, yes, sir,
he has the same dimensions--

48-44-46.

You're letting
a great little girl get away, sir.

Hogan, I am
trusting you

to have that gown
at the Hauserhof on time!

Don't worry
about a thing.

Good!

SCHULTZ:
Uh, Colonel Klink.

Oh, please,
Colonel Klink!

LeBEAU:
Hey, wait a minute, Schultz.

Get out of
the dress now.

I have to finish it.

Oh, come on.

Newkirk.

Yes, sir.

Can I see you
a minute?

Yes, sir.

About that dress...

Don't blame me,
Colonel.

That was Lebeau's idea
about the train.

I thought
a nice sash

would be in much
better taste.

No, the dress
is fine.

What I want
to know is,

can you make another
one just like it by tomorrow?

Well, that's
no problem for me, sir,

but I'd better
clear it with Yvette.

You know how they
feel about copies.

All the guests talked about
was the bridal gown.

Funny, I didn't hear
anybody say one word

about the dress.

I think it looked
better on Schultz.

You can stop crying,
Schultz.

They're already
married.

It's not
the wedding.

He's crying because
he didn't get

a piece of
the wedding cake.

That and the drapes

were the only things
he didn't eat.

Jolly joker.

Where?

Where's the cockroach?

After what you ate?

You're lucky we got
in the elevator.

LeBeau's walking up.

( siren wailing )

( women screaming )

( women screaming )

SCHULTZ:
Follow me!

Follow me, everybody!

Follow me!

Follow me, everybody!

Everybody down
in the basement!

Please, don't stay calm--
everybody panic!

Now, come on!

Air Raid! Look out,
everybody!

Got him!

( screaming continues )

Okay?

Perfect.

What is happening?

Is it an air raid?

Just a practice drill.

Oh.

You see, nothing
to worry about.

Let's go back
in there, huh?

Never have
I seen a more beautiful bride.

Ah...

And I owe it all
to you, Yvette.

Isn't he wond...

Nonsense.

The dress
is nothing

unless a vision
of loveliness such as...

( gasps )

Good heavens,
a seam has opened!

We'll sew it up
for you right away.

Don't you worry,
Countess.

It'll only
take a minute.

Search every
room, Gustav.

He can't get away.

The building is surrounded.

How dare you burst
into a lady's room

without knocking!

I'm terribly sorry.

Please forgive me.

My apologies,
Fräulein.

Blimey.

Now, don't you have

a little something
for me?

You are Papa Bear?

No, but I'll see
that he gets it.

I'll put it
in his porridge.

All right.

I'll tell him
you'll be right out.

Thank you,
Colonel Hogan.

Yep.

Please hurry.

The count is waiting

to take me
on our honeymoon.

I'm sure
he won't mind

if you're
a little late.

What do you mean?

I mean, what
are a few moments

when you will have

a lifetime of
happiness together?

Oh.

Did I hurt you,
Countess?

Oh, please hurry!

I didn't mean to.

I will do as
fast as I can.

Really, you're
going to be so lovely.

Oh, Count von Hertzel,
congratulations.

Thank you.

Looking for your
lovely bride?

Yes.

She had
a little accident with her gown.

They're repairing it.

That is her room.

This is
the sewing room.

She's ready.

Come along,
my lovely.

Beautiful,
beautiful.

NEWKIRK:
Don't she look nice?

HOGAN:
Mm-hmm.

NEWKIRK:
Good luck.

What can be
taking them so long?

Must be
the false alarm air raid.

SCHULTZ:
Oh, here they come!

( crowd oohing and ahhing )

I am so glad
for Frieda.

Congratulations,
General Burkhalter.

Thank you, Klink.

Did the happy couple

get off all right,
General?

Yes, Hogan.

I have never
seen your niece look so happy.

They make such
a handsome couple.

Thank you.

Has anyone
seen the count?

SCHULTZ:
He went that way.

Frieda!

Wait for me!

How could this
have happened, Klink?

There were more SS men
at the Hauserhof

than they have
at the Reichstag.

It only proves again

how incompetent
the Gestapo is.

Colonel Hogan
to see you, Herr Kommandant.

Send him in,
please.

Any more news
about the count?

The hospital says
his condition is the same.

He's still suffering
from amnesia.

I cannot understand it.

Not a mark on his head,

and he still can't remember
getting married.

I'm sure Frieda will
nurse him back to health.

There is nothing a man needs
more than a good woman.

You're so right, Klink.

Maybe I will change my mind
and let my sister marry you.

Gertrude?

It just might make a good match.

I don't deserve such happiness.

If you are lucky
enough to get Gertrude's hand,

there's one thing
you can count on, Commandant.

What's that?

A gown by Yvette.

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