All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s04e07 Never Play Cards with Strangers.eng

( theme song playing )

WOMAN:
There it is.

KINCH:
Huh, that place is built like Fort Knox.

HOGAN:
Yeah, quite a piggy bank.

What goes on there, Olga?

Rocket fuel.

Chemicals are shipped
from Düsseldorf

in truck convoys.

The fuel is made here.

Then they put the barrels
in railway cars.

And away they go
to the launching pads in France.

It has been operating
only a few weeks.

Huh, Colonel...
( vehicle rumbling )

Security is one thing,
but that's ridiculous.

You think we
should radio London

for an air strike?

I guess so,

but it's going
to be murder.

Look at these hills.

A low-level attack
would never make it.

We've already
given London

the locations of
the flak batteries.

They're going
to need it--

this isn't going
to be a milk run.

Colonel...
brass arriving.

He's got to be wheel
of some kind.

Yeah, they sure
didn't mess with him.

That is
General von Treger's car.

He's in charge
of the rocket program.

I saw him in Hammelburg.

We know he works on the rocket
installations in France.

An important man,
very close the Führer.

It's a cinch he's not in town
for the bock beer festival.

Let's get back to camp.

HOGAN:
Newkirk.

Oh!

Cor blimey, sir,
gave me a fright--

I nearly
let you have it.

Glad you're alert--

but your
safety catch is on.

Oh, well, you can't be
too careful, can you, sir?

Uh, see you home,
if you like, love.

KINCH:
Oh, isn't that sweet?

Beautiful.

Well, the Germans
are prowling these woods.

He's right...

also, Englishmen prowling.

General von Treger?!

Yes, the
General von Treger.

Congratulations,
Herr Kommandant.

Oh, this is
a very big fish.

I'm so glad you approve
the General's visit.

Oh, I do,
Herr Kommandant.

Thank you, Schultz,
that's gives me

a warm feeling
of confidence.

Now...

preparations
are to be made:

General von Treger
will be staying in my quarters.

Both of you
in one bed?

Alone, Dummkopf.

Now, see to it
that my room is clean,

new curtains, bedspread,
fresh flowers.

Then see to it
that all my things

are taken
out of there

and moved into
the orderly room temporarily.

Everything,
Herr Kommandant?

Yes.

Also the girlie pictures
on the shelf in the...

I said everything--
now see to it at once.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant,

it shall be done.

I shall depend
on you, Schultz...

which is
a terrible mistake.

( woman giggling )

( chuckles )

Colonel Hogan is here.

Herr Kommandant,
Colonel...

Yes, I know-- send him in.

Jawohl.

I told you,
every time Hilda giggles...

Oh, shut up.

You have your orders.

Dis... missed.

You want to see me,
Commandant?

Yes, I do.

Hogan, one of the most
important men

in Germany today
is visiting Stalag 13.

Old Bubblehead's
coming here?

I do not appreciate
you calling our Führer "Old Bubblehead."

Oh... how
about "Fruitcake?"

Hogan!

We are to be honored
by the presence

of General von Treger.

That's big brass.

The general has some
very important business

in this part of Germany,

and he's making our little
stalag his headquarters.

Sometimes this war's so exciting
I can hardly stand it.

Hogan, I warn you,

while General
von Treger is here

any show of disrespect,

any trouble whatsoever
from you or your men

will be punished
unmercifully.

Get out of line
just once

and you will regret it,
understood?

Understood.

Now...

I wonder if you
could do me a favor.

You sure know
how to ask a guy.

Listen, Hogan...

I understand that
General von Treger

enjoys all the good
things in life.

Then why
is he staying here?

He appreciates
good wines.

He enjoys
gourmet cooking.

I have heard

that he's even a bit
of a ladies man.

Who isn't...
in between wars.

Hogan, what I am
trying to ask you...

Would our chef, LeBeau
cook him a special meal?

Exactly.

You're prepared to make
a deal, of course?

I am
the commandant here,

I do not make deals
with prisoners of war.

But you would show
your appreciation.

What kind of deal
do you want?

I won't ask you for
more heat or hot water in the barracks

or to stop stealing from
our Red Cross packages...

Very sensible.

because I know
I can get those things.

Two men from Barracks 9
are in the cooler,

Sergeant Schwartz
and Private Mills.

Yes, ten days
solitary confinement

for making rude noises
during roll call.

Commandant,
everybody does that.

I know!

An example
must be made.

They've served
three day, let them out.

Impossible.

LeBeau might cook two meals.

No!

Commandant...
just imagine

the General at
Berchtesgaden sometime

and he says
to old Bubblehead--

sorry, Fruitcake...
whatever--

he says, "The best
soufflé I ever had

"was at a Luft Stalag.

"Can't even remember
the name of the town,

but the Commandant..."

All right,
all right, all right.

The men will be released.

You're a great
humanitarian.

You know,
they might even name

the next war after you.

"World War Klink"?

Welcome,
General von Treger.

May I say, sir,

my stalag is your stalag.

Thank you for your kind
hospitality, Colonel Klink.

See to the bags.

See to the bags.

Yes, sir!

See to the bags.

( somberly ):
From London.

"Air strike at
this time impossible.

"Target now
your mission.

Priority one--
good luck."

It's a suicide
mission.

Right, machine-gun emplacements,
minefields,

automatic alarm system,
a regiment of elite guards...

impossible, right?

OTHERS:
Right.

All right, let's
get on with it.

( men complaining )

Hold it, hold it,
you have pay

piling up
back home, right?

Be nice if we
could live to spend it.

Look, get in touch

with the underground
tonight.

We're going to need
some planning.

Tell them to send Olga--
she knows the layout.

All right.

Krauts are inspecting
the barracks.

They're headed
this way.

All right.

Attention!

At ease!

General, this
is Colonel Hogan,

senior POW officer.

Hogan, this is
General von Treger.

These is quite
an experience

for me, Colonel.

I don't often meet
the enemy face to face.

Don't worry, General,
you will.

Hogan!

Now, General,
these barracks here

are more
or less typical.

Typical
of what?

Silence!

Seems to be very cozy.

Yes, sir, it does have

sort of a homey
feeling about it.

Same interior decorator
did the main Berlin sewer.

I didn't know that.

Schultz!

By the way,
General,

this man here,
Corporal LeBeau

is an excellent cook.

I have ordered him
to prepare

one or two special meals
for you

while you're here.

You did?

Oh, yes, you did.

Good.

Perhaps
Colonel Hogan

would join us
for dinner?

"Join us"?!

That's
what I said.

Yes, sir, General,

that's exactly
what I had in mind.

Excellent.

Perhaps after dinner,
we could have

a rubber or two of bridge,
eh, Colonel?

Thank you, sir.

Auf Wiedersehen.

( clicks boots )

Auf
Wiedersehen.

Auf
Wiedersehen.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Auf Wieder...

NEWKIRK:
Colonel, are you going

to eat with
those Krauts

and play bridge
with them?

At least we'll know
where they are

when we blow that plant.

LeBeau, what are you
going to have on the menu?

Mm, maybe
beef Stroganoff.

"Beef Stroganoff"?

With the trouble they're having
on the Russian front,

you'd give them
beef Stroganoff?

That's cruel.

Oui, I know.

The convoys come down
the Hammelburg road

then turn here
to the plant.

The last checkpoint
is there.

So if you wanted
to latch onto the convoy

as a late-comer

the logical place
would be right here, huh?

Yes, where they slow down
for the turn.

All right, Newkirk,
Carter, study the map.

You're going
to be driving

a German truck filled
with dynamite.

Here's where you join
the convoy.

Well, suppose
they won't let us in?

Well, the Krauts
can't be

as unfriendly as that,
for Pete's sake.

Andrew, I'm going
to miss you after the war.

Kinch, can you
get us a truck

from the Kraut Sergeant
in the motor pool?

Ten cents a mile.

This one won't
come back.

Well, we'll give him
12¢ a mile

and our apologies.

If he squeals on us,
he squeals on himself.

Okay.

Now, here's the way it goes:

Carter, Newkirk,
you wait in the woods

till the convoy passes.

You set the timers
on the dynamite

and you swing into line.

You drive into the plant
with the rest of them,

you leave the truck
and take cover.

How do we get away?

You read
my cowardly mind.

When the truck blows,

you should be able
to get out in the confusion.

What if there isn't
enough confusion?

I never said this wasn't
going to be dangerous.

Colonel, we're going
to driving

a truckload
of dynamite

into that bloody
chemical plant.

We could easily get
ourselves blown up.

And I'm going to be
playing bridge

with a roomful
of Krauts.

I could very easily
be bored to death.

To General von Treger,
prosit.

Prosit.

Prosit!

Schultz...

He got carried away
with emotion, sir.

I'm told
there's never been

an escape
from this place.

Is that true?

I'm happy to say
it is, sir.

We'd be hurt
if he tried.

( laughs )

( laughter )

LeBeau, LeBeau!

More wine,
quickly, Cockroach!

VON TREGER:
Very good, excellent.

KLINK:
Thank you, General, thank you, thank you.

O, monsieur,
your beef Stroganoff

is sheer poetry.

Klink is an animal,

the worst Boche
of an animal that ever lived!

That's also poetry.

I may kill him tonight
with my bare hands

if I ever get
the chance.

Don't worry about
the dishes,

I'll take care
of them.

All clear.

Okay, Carter,
let's get cracking.

VON TREGER:
Ah... I deal.

Gentlemen, I must
tell you in advance,

I'm not the greatest bridge
player in the world.

Have you ever played
with grownups before, sir?

CAPTAIN:
He's probably an expert.

Right, he may take us
all to the cleaners.

Uh, General,
don't you think

you ought to put Hitler
in your wife's name?

( laughing )

( brakes squeak )

Take it easy, Carter,

this thing's loaded
with dynamite!

Sorry.

I hope I didn't spill any.

Four clubs.

I double.

You sure you mean
clubs, Commandant?

Of course I'm sure.

Those are the
little black ones

with the knobs
on the end.

Prosit.

( telephone rings )

I pass.

Commandant Klink's quarters.

Oh, it is for you,
Herr Kapitän.

Excuse me.

Mm-hmm, yeah,
sure, yeah.

Ja.

Ja, all right, hold on.

Herr General, the convoy's
at the final checkpoint.

Any change in orders, sir?

No, I think not.

Have them proceed.

Jawohl, Herr General.

Frau Müller, the general's
orders are to...

Uh, Captain.

Wait.

Have all identification numbers
on the trucks changed

for tonight only.

The numbers should begin
with 100.

Jawohl, Herr General.

Müller, change all code
numbers before proceeding.

Add 100 to the beginning
of each number.

Repeat the order.

Just a little

added security.

Exercise keeps them
on their toes.

( laughing ):
Brilliant, sir,

absolutely brilliant.

Oh, I'm sorry!

How clumsy of me.

You certainly
are, Hogan.

Schultz, clean up
this mess.

HOGAN:
I'll get a towel!

And the real secret
is in the sour cream.

Hold it, hold it.

We got troubles.

Von Treger
just ordered

the serial numbers
changed on the trucks.

He can't do that.

Kinch, get on
your horse.

You got to reach
Newkirk and Carter

before they swing into line
with that convoy.

Tell them the mission's
been scratched.

Okay.

And make it fast,

or they swing into line
with a firing squad.

KINCH:
Gotcha.

NEWKIRK:
Here they come.

Well, it's about time.

All right,
get ready to move.

I am, boy.

My palms are sweating,
but I'm ready.

All right, go.

( truck starting up )

Hey, hold it!

Hold it!

Kinch, Kinch--
what happened?

( panting ):
I think I just ran a four-minute mile.

The mission is scratched.

I didn't use my head,
that's all.

It's no good
blaming yourself

for last night,
Colonel, it's done.

I underestimated
von Treger.

The mission failed,
Colonel,

it's finished
and that's that.

Right, sir,
we can't win 'em all.

Is that what you want,
to admit failure?

To walk away from this thing?

Give up?

Forget it?

Yes.
Yes.

Good.

I'm glad you want to try again.

Now, what's
a definite factor

we can depend on
in this job?

We don't know
what we're doing.

There are two kinds
of vehicles

that get into that plant
without inspection--

the convoy trucks

and General
von Treger's car.

So we'll let the general
blow up the plant for us.

Exactly.

LeBeau is going
to prepare

another dinner
for the general.

Carter?

Yes, sir?

I need a couple
of empty wine cases.

Empty wine cases, sir?

Mm-hmm. I want you
to pack them

with enough dynamite
to start

a chain-reaction explosion
in the plant.

We'll need
a couple of timers

set for about
40 minutes.

Can you do it?

Sure.

Matter of fact,
it's kind of

interesting
for a change.

Good.

You know, ma'am,

you get kind
of tired working

with your average
garden-variety-type

demolition pack,
you know,

and your delayed
action fuses

and things like that.

So when get a chance
to use new muscle,

you kind of
appreciate it...

HOGAN:
Carter!

Empty wine cases.

Olga, we'll need you
for this operation.

I'm ready, Colonel.

I want you to wear
your best clothes.

Dress as you would
for an important date.

Now, the rendezvous point
will be right about here.

I want you to stay
out of sight until

General von Treger's car
comes down the road...

Colonel, you did say
the general's car?

Mm-hmm.

General von Treger

is going to take
that dynamite

into the plant for us.

But he's going
to be so busy

charming one
of the local ladies

that nobody's going
to see his face.

Beautiful strategy,
Herr General, beautiful.

He hasn't played a card yet.

The coq au vin
was superb, Klink.

Thank you, sir.

I must say, you do
yourself well here.

Well, we always try
to do our best, sir.

Thank you,
thank you, LeBeau.

VON TREGER:
Mmm, excellent port.

Thank you, Herr General,
thank you.

For me?

With Colonel Hogan's
compliments.

Oh, he's so nice.

Ah!

He always thinks
of the little man.

What's that got
to do with you?

Hey, Fritz!

A little wine?

Rock-a-bye Kraut.

( soft snoring )

LeBEAU:
Ready, Colonel.

HOGAN:
Let's go.

NEWKIRK ( in German accent ):
That was an excellent dinner,

my good man, danke schön.

Merci. Bon voyage,
Herr Général.

Colonel.

Yeah?

That stuff won't keep
them asleep too long.

An hour, maybe
a little more.

That's all we'll need
if we're lucky.

If they should wake up
and you're not back?

Tell them to start
the next hand without me.

( car starting up )

Hey, you look
smashing, love.

Thank you, General.

Hey, when we get near the plant,
you two go into a clinch.

Right, sir.

Not yet.

Just a bit
of practice, sir.

You don't need practice.

GUARD:
Herr General.

Hide your face, Newkirk.

I'll be back in a minute.

Right, Colonel.

Oh, and sir,
take your time.

There's no need
to rush, you know.

Colonel...

Now, I told you
it might be dangerous.

Yes, Herr General,

I'll take care of it
at once.

Guard!

Get this wine in the office.

And you-- help him.

"Captain Hoganhoffer"?

Mm-hmm.

What happened
to Captain Moss?

Reassigned to Berlin.

I'm the general's new aide.

Here, put it over
on the table.

This is wine
for the officer's mess,

a gift from the general.

It's not to be opened until
the party Saturday night.

The party?

Goering's birthday,
in case you forgot.

Oh, yes, of course,
Goering's birthday.

The general would have
presented it himself,

but he's busy
at the moment.

Heil Hitler.

Ring Major Hermann's quarters
at once.

( car starting up )

OFFICER:
Stop that car!

I called Major Hermann,
the plant commander.

He's coming here to thank
the general personally.

Major Hermann is going to show
his appreciation personally?

Putzie, darling,
ask them to close the window.

It's chilly.

NEWKIRK ( in German accent ):
Captain, close the window!

Drive on, schnell!

Jawohl, General.

"Putzie"?

Uh, "Putzie, darling."

Uh, tell Major Hermann

the general
was in conference and couldn't wait.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Take care.

Bye-bye.

( soft snoring )

( door opening )

Well, how did it go?

No problems.

The wine's delivered
and ticking away.

One for you,
one for me.

Okay, let's get them up.

Sleeping like babies.

Yeah.

My baby's still
wearing his monocle.

Well...

I must have dozed off
for a moment.

Yeah, I also.

Well, who's play is it?

Is it mine?

Colonel, you are
still dummy!

Look at him!

Not only away from his post,
but also asleep on duty!

That's terrible.

Try this.

Ooh.

( thunderous explosion )

CAPTAIN:
What's going on?

( explosions continuing )

What happened?

Gentlemen, I think
it's a grand slam.

Ja, ja, I understand,
Major-- Moment, bitte.

An explosion at the plant
Herr General,

touched off
a chain reaction and fire.

It's a catastrophe.

It's terrible!

How bad is it?

Major Hermann
reports

the fire
is out of control,

a total loss.

Pretty good score.

What was that?

Oh, just talking
about the game.

Hogan, we have no time
for bridge.

Forget it,
the game is over.

Okay.

If you ever need
a fourth again,

be sure to call me.

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