All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e11 Is General Hammerschlag Burning.eng

( theme song plays )

( cheerful greetings overlap )

Ah, greetings from
Paris, mon Colonel.

You're a long way
from home, Dubois. Sit down, sit down.

Well, we need
assistance.

Lafayette, we are here.
LeBeau, get him some coffee

and put some vin
in it, huh?

What year?
Oh, allez, allez.

Well, in Paris
we have a problem.

A real problem.

The impossible we
do immediately.

We have trouble
with the easy ones.

This is not easy.

You know of, uh,
General Hammerschlag?

Commander of
the Paris Garrison.

Oui. He has drawn
up a master plan

for the defense of
Paris by the Boche.

We must have
that plan.

You think it's
that important?

When the Allies
reach Paris in force,

the Germans will
pull out like that.

That is not what
concerns us, LeBeau.

When Paris can
no longer be defended,

Hitler has ordered it
to be blown up,

to the last building.

Not even the Germans...
Blow up Paris? Ha!

Unless we stop them.

Hammerschlag's plan has
the exact location

of every stick
of dynamite.

Would be handy to have.

We should be able to get
to him, but we cannot.

An Achilles heel?

A mystic,
wants to part

the, uh, the veil
of the future.

Seeks guidance

from the ghost
of Prince Bismarck.

Sounds like
our type fella.

There is a woman
at Le Bal Africain--

Kumasa-- a singer.

We believe she has

some sort of influence
on Hammerschlag.

But she has repulsed all
our tries at contact.

But you have
checked her out? Oui.

And that intelligence
has been most helpful.

Although she passes
in Paris as African,

she is actually American.

An American. Good.

Glad you came to us, Dubois.
This is what we do best.

LeBeau, you're coming
with me to Paris.

Great.
Newkirk, Carter, Kinch,

you stay here
and cover for us.

Right, sir.
What do we do about Klink, Colonel?

Well, I guess it would be safest
if he came along with us.

Dubois, we'll leave tomorrow,
is that enough time?

Well, Colonel Hogan,

there is a slight
misunderstanding.

About the reason
I came here.

You came to have us
take over the mission,

what else could
you come for?

Well, uh, Allied
intelligence gave us

a possible contact
with Kumasa.

A man she went
to high school with

in the United States
is, uh,

is a prisoner
in Stalag 13.

You came here
just to get him?

Oui.

Sergeant Kinchloe.

Wow.

Kinch, you lucky dog.
Paris!

And he's not
even French!

Paris. Boy!
The Eiffel Tower.

Kinch, I'm very happy for you.

Why don't you
come along, Colonel?

As my guest.

Well, thanks.

Schultz! Get in here
on the double! Quick!

Jawohl, Jawohl, Herr
Kommandant. What is it?

An escape? A riot?

Schultz, prepare
the staff car.

Your commandant
has been chosen

German Soldier
of the Month,

and we are driving to Paris

for me to enjoy my prize.

Is there another Colonel
Klink, Herr Kommandant?

What are you talking
about, Schultz?

This club in Paris,
Le Bal Africain--

very big, very
important, I'm sure--

is awarding me this
all-expense weekend--

champagne, lodging,
beautiful girls--

to look at, of course--

for my excellent work
at Stalag 13,

and you are driving me.

Ah! Then I am also
the German Soldier of the Month.

You are a big bungler
that I do not trust out of my sight.

Now, get ready.
We leave in two hours.

( humming French
cancan tune )

Schultz!

I'm going,
Herr Colonel.

Ouch!

Sorry, Colonel.

Now, we can't make an omelet

without breaking a few eggs,
now, can we?

That's what
I look like-- a French omelet.

Why can't Kinch
be the busboy?

Let me
be the doorman.

Bad casting, Colonel.
Bad, bad casting.

Besides, those are
the only two jobs

the underground
could arrange

to have open
at the club.

I mean, you heard Dubois
make the call, sir.

Yeah, I know, I know.
I'm just off-balance

about this whole operation.
I can't get with it.

It ain't exactly downhill
for me either, Colonel.

I don't know if this chick
is even going to remember me.

She was kind of a high roller
in high school.

I wasn't in her league at all.

She'll
remember you.

Who could
forget?

Sure. You didn't have
the mustache then.

It makes all
the difference.

Marvelous thing,
really.

I don't even know if
I want her to remember me.

Sounds like her best friend
now is a German general.

Schultz
is coming.

HOGAN:
All right, carry on.

Colonel Hogan,
Colonel Hogan.

You will never guess!

Try me.

No! It is so incredible

that not in your life
are you going to guess.

Guess.

You're going
to Paris.

Yes! I'm going to Paris!

You guessed.

Schultz, we've always been
honest with each other.

Now, give it
to me straight.

What do you think
of this outfit?

How did you know that
I was going to Paris?

I'm going with you.

Now, come on. Answer
the question.

No! You're not going
to go with us! Not again!

Not on the roof
of the staff car!

All right, we'll let
Klink ride on the roof.

Colonel Hogan, please!

What is he wearing?

What... what are
you wearing?

It's the latest thing
from Paris, Schultzy.

Now, what about
something for you?

Maybe some sequins
on your helmet?

I must report this,
Colonel Hogan. I must!

Okay, Schultz,
suit yourself.

Only thing is,
you're going

to have to explain how you
let us go along last time.

I did not!

Colonel Hogan, please.

I plead with you.

Do not spoil
the great honor

that is being paid
to Commandant Klink.

You will never guess.

He's been chosen German
Soldier of the Month.

You guessed.

How did you know?

We chose him.

I see nothing!

I know nothing!

I hear nothing!

Herr Kommandant,
Le Bal Africain.

Schultz,
you announce me.

Never mind.
I'll announce myself.

Pardon.

The club
is closed.

My dear fellow,
I'm Kommandant Klink.

Yes?

German Soldier
of the Month?

All-expense
weekend in Paris?

The club is closed.

Here. I have a letter.

Obviously a forgery.

This could not be.

Look, if I could just
see Mademoiselle Kumasa.

Mademoiselle Kumasa
speaks to no one

below the rank of General.

General?
Yes, of course.

I realize your position,
sir, but if I could just...

The club is closed.

Good day to you, sir.

Ah, c'est dommage!

Anything wrong,
Herr Kommandant?

Everything
is wrong, Schultz!

I know them.

Both of them.

From somewhere.

Do I know them,
Schultz?

These Frenchmen,
Herr Kommandant--

they all look alike.

You know, Kinch,
I'm beginning

to get a good
feeling about this for the first time.

The way
we handled Klink?

Yeah. Had that old
Stalag 13 touch-- like the waterbed.

Now, if I hit him
in the face with it,

it would have
been too much.

As it was, it felt
right. Just right.

The real trouble
may be in there.

Come on.
We're rolling now.

She'll fall
at your feet.

Let's go.

Us, Colonel?

Yeah. I can't
talk to her alone.

Well, sir,
I just thought

it might be better
if I went in first.

Yeah, you're right.

My timing is
still off. I'll wait.

Yes, sir.

I mean, I, um...

could mop the floor.

( knocking )

Entrez.

Mademoiselle, your new doorman
reporting for duty.

Oh? What happened
to the last one?

An indisposition,
but only temporary.

Well...

you're quite a change
from what he was.

You're quite a change
from Carol Dukes.

Don't tell me.

Well, you're
out of uniform,

and a long way from home.

Ivan Kinchloe.

Well, that's
pretty good.

I didn't think
you even knew my name in high school.

Oh, but I had a thing
for you, shy boy.

Didn't you know?

I wish I had.

So what is this?

You put on
that funny suit

just so we could talk
about old times in Detroit?

Well, not exactly.

Ah.

Calvados?

Thanks.
It might help.

To old times.

May they never return.

It's not likely.

Mmm.

So, now, tell me just
what it is you want.

Well, quite a bit.

And, uh...
what is in it for me?

Very little.

Forget it.

We need the defense
plans to Paris.

We need you to
help us get them.

And you want to use me
to get to Hammerschlag?

That's about it.

That's about it?

Well, what
makes you think...

What makes you think
you can walk in here

and casually ask
me to jeopardize

everything I've
built all my life,

even risk my life,
for what? What?

You'll have to fill
that one in yourself.

Ah. For a country that gave me
nothing, and I mean not a thing.

Okay.

Apparently, I can't compete
with a Nazi general.

He's a pig.

But he gives
my club protection,

and, if I could get him in touch
with the Ghost of Bismarck,

he'd give me Paris.

Wunderbar.

And what's wrong
with that?

What is wrong with
looking after number one?

Nothing. It sounds like
everything is just great,

so what are you getting
so defensive about?

Oh, you would be a fool
to trust me. You know that.

Staff car outside looks
like Hammerschlag.

Where do we stand?

Nowhere.

Is that right?

I haven't made up my mind yet.

So you can either stick around
for the ride

or you can run right back
where you came from.

( knocking )

Colonel?

I haven't been right
about anything yet.

Let's stick around.

Entrez.

General von
Hammerschlag.

Ah, my dear Kumasa.
You may go.

General, may I present
my new doorman and my, uh...

Busboy... a
mute, General,

unfortunately,
but a most unusual man.

Most interesting. Go.

Yes, of course,
General.

And, uh, our
congratulations.

Why congratulations?

Well, concerning
the Prince Bismarck.

Come, come.
Wait.

I believe you mentioned
the name of Prince Bismarck.

What about Prince Bismarck?

Well, General, uh...

General? Kumasa has
found that this man,

in the proper
hypnotic state, talks directly

with a shade of
Prince Bismarck.

But he is a mute,
you said!

Most fascinating.
He is!

A French mute.

But, under hypnosis,
his former self emerges--

an American of
the past century.

I do not believe it.

Kumasa, you remember.
The Prince seemed

most interested in
the General's career.

You mentioned
none of this.

KINCH:
It's all been most recent.

Look at him.

Obviously a man of
limited intelligence.

Observe the eyes--
how close together.

Yet, in the spirit world,
the intimate of princes.

I would like
to know more.

Perhaps, next week.

Tonight.

We will try,

if Kumasa is willing.

Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

After her
performance, then.

Agreed.

Remarkable.

The General will bring
the plans?

What plans?
Did I not mention?

Prince Bismarck
was most anxious to see your plans

for the defense of Paris,

as one professional
to another.

HAMMERSCHLAG:
They must not leave my office.

As you say.

Of course, Prince Bismarck
may be quite angry.

We, uh...

We shall see.

Excellent, excellent.

I'll see the General
to the door.

Why did you have
to make me a mute?

So you hate my
French accent.

What do you think

she's talking
to him about?

Selling us out maybe.
Maybe not.

Who knows?

It's a cinch I don't.

And what's wrong
with my eyes?

They're beautiful,
Colonel. Beautiful!

Forget it.

* Darling,
je vous aime beaucoup *

* Je ne sais pas what to do *

* You know you've completely
stolen mon coeur *

* Morning, noon
and nighttime, too *

* Toujours wondering
what to do *

* Darling,
je vous aime beaucoup *

* I love you, yes, I do *

* Dear, you know my love
for you is très, trs fort *

* I wish my French
were good enough *

* I'd tell you so much more

* But I hope that you'll compris
all the things you mean to me *

* Darling,
je vous aime beaucoup *

* I love you *

* I love you *

* I love you, yes, I do.

( applause )

She's just finishing.

We got our
signals straight?

I got the dummy plans
right here.

When we make the
switch during the seance,

I'll pass the real plans

out through the dressing room
window to Dubois.

Oui. Then I take
them on my bicycle

to where we are going
to microfilm them.

And then I bring
them back here--

not more than
ten minutes, huh?

Then we switch them back again,
and that's it.

Sound all right to you, Kinch?

It's going to be fine,
Colonel, just fine.

I believe it.

I really believe it.

And what about
the woman?

( sighs )

I wish
you hadn't brought that up.

Enter, General. Enter.

The spirit
world is alive tonight.

We shall have
excellent communication.

Good. Come.

Where?

To my office.

The plans are
still in my safe.

Uh, but, uh...

But, General,
the spiritual vibrations here...

They will vibrate just
as well elsewhere.

My staff car is waiting.

We shall go.

Excellent.

Ah! We're
in luck, Schultz.

Are you sure,
Herr Kommandant?

General Hammerschlag's car.

He's a friend,
an old friend.

He'll straighten
things out in no time.

Oh, that would
be very nice.

( bell tinkling )

General Hammerschlag.

General Hammerschlag,
Colonel Wilhelm Klink.

Do you remember me
in the war college?

When I was a Colonel

and the General was
a First Lieutenant?

No, I do not.

Oh, of course,
I understand completely,

General
Hammerschlag.

I mean, a man

of your
responsibilities.

If I were in your position,

I wouldn't remember me either.

Good.

There's
nothing else?

No, nothing,
nothing at all,

except that a slight
problem has arisen

over my being chosen
German Soldier of the Month.

You?

In recognition of my work

as commandant of Stalag 13.

The keeper of a jail is now
German Soldier of the Month?

It does seem ridiculous,
doesn't it?

What are we
coming to?

Oh, it's wonderful to
see the General again,

just wonderful.

The General straighten
out the difficulty?

He was jealous
of me, Schultz.

Always jealous.

That's the mark
of a small man.

You will make
yourselves comfortable.

I will
get the plans.

Any sign
of Dubois?

He'll be here.

It's going
to take longer

to get the stuff
microfilmed from here.

You cats amaze me.

You really do.

You stand here
talking about this thing

like you're actually
going to pull it off.

Keep the
faith, baby.

Something wrong?

Oh, nothing.

It's just impossible.

How do you know
I haven't sold you out already?

That has
occurred to us.

And what's in it for you?

Money? Medals?

Oh, they're going to give you
the key to the city

if you ever get back
to Detroit?

I doubt that
rather strongly.

Then why?

Colonel, is that guy
coming back yet?

I'll let you know.

I'm a mute anyway.

Okay, we've just
got time for the short course.

Most people
go through life

kind of
semi-embalmed.

I don't know.
Maybe they like it.

But you're in a spot
now where you got to take a position.

Either you turn us in
or join up.

Now, you don't
understand us.

That's not
necessary for now.

Hammerschlag, you
can understand... real good.

So you just ask
yourself a question:

Do you want to spend
the rest of your life

in a Hammerschlag
kind of world?

He's coming.

Keep the faith, baby.

Here?

No. You
will sit here.

You here.

Please lower the lights.

And the window must be open
exactly four inches.

You will
watch the mute closely, General.

Under my guidance,
he will return to what he was

before reincarnation--

an American of the last century.

A man who talks freely

with the shade
of the great Bismarck.

You will watch
my hands.

You will shut
out everything but my hands.

My hands are commanding
your eyes to close.

When you awake,
you will see no one.

You will be free
to talk to your friend.

Otto?

You will prepare yourself.

The entry of the prince
is sometimes violent.

Otto!

What, Otto?

Otto, you old horse thief.

He is here?

Yes.

Now they will talk.

No.

Really?

What are they
talking about?

Family. Friends.

The weather.

Who knows?

Ah.

HOGAN:
What do you think of the war?

( laughs )

Incompetent.

I agree.

Thoroughly incompetent.

He's not fit
to command a platoon. I agree.

Who are they talking about?

Their favorite subject.

The man's even
a bad paperhanger.

Not the Fuhrer?

They talk of him by the hour.

But, in my office,
we have a listening device.

You must... you must stop them.

One cannot control the spirits.

HOGAN:
And the Generals

who go along with him?

Toads.

Toads--
all of them.

What would you do
in their position?

Take 'em out and shoot 'em?

Stalingrad--

classic bit of
bungling. Classic.

Over half an hour,

they have been
maligning the Fuhrer.

This cannot go on.

You must do something.

Otto, as...

Yeah, let's change the subject.

Do you think they

can hold on to Paris, Otto?

Could you
possibly suggest

that the prince
look at my plan?

I think he is
doing it now.

HOGAN:
You think what, Otto?

You think
that's a plan?

You wouldn't
change an item?

It'll never work.

Never!

I don't care if you were
chancellor of Germany.

What have you done recently?

What did you call me, Otto?

What?!

All right, put 'em up, Otto!

You are awake.

KUMASA:
You will return.

Guard them
well, General.

Apparently, they
are most valuable.

Thank you.

Um... I would
check them, General,

before I put them
into the safe.

That was
my intention.

Remarkable.

That Bismarck
would talk to him.

Why wouldn't he talk to me?

Dubois get away all right?

Yeah, I guess he got away.

All right...

I'll go back and talk to Otto.

( knocking )
Yes, come in, come in, come in.

Just stopped in to
welcome you back, sir.

That's very kind
of you, Hogan. Dismissed.

Just between you
and me, Commandant,

how was Paris?
All they say it is?

Hogan, dismissed.

You can tell
me, Commandant.

I bet you cut
a wide swath.

Good-looking
German colonel,

single, and Soldier
of the Month? Wow.

Hogan...

Just one little
incident to bring back to the men, sir.

You know they've all
been putting themselves

in the place of
their commandant

prowling the
streets of Paris.

Well, for a man
in my position,

there were
opportunities, of course.

Start with
your arrival at the club, sir.

The showgirls
pouring out in the street--

like that?

There were a few--
four or five.

Or eight.

Later there were more.

Wow!
And then...

Colonel Hogan!

Excuse me,
Herr Kommandant.

I told Colonel
Hogan not to disturb you

after the miserable
time you had in Paris.

I told him!

Well, I guess
I'll be going along, Commandant.

Hogan!

Schultz, give Hogan three days
in the cooler.

And put yourself in with him.

But what did I do?

Out!

Showed up
at the wrong time, Schultz.

I'd have given you a month.

Out!

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