All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e03 D-Day at Stalag 13.eng

( theme song playing )

( bombs exploding )

Hogan.

A bit of a dirty trick,
flying you to London

for an hour of being
a free man and then

dropping you back
at Stalag 13.

It breaks up
the day, sir.

You're a good man.

You can guess what this is.

D day, sir?

D day.

And forget you saw it.

Now, I can't tell
you the exact date,

even to tell you this
much had to be cleared

at the highest level
of intelligence--

the old man himself--

but the date
will be soon.

It's been a long
time coming, sir.

A long time,
and we don't want

any mistakes,
not on our part.

Yes, sir.

Of course, we could use
a few mistakes from Jerry,

and that's why
you're here, Hogan.

You'll have a drink?

No, thanks, sir.

Well, don't mind if I do.

Now, the German General Staff
knows something is up.

They're meeting tomorrow
to plan their strategy.

That we know for a fact.

That's very good
intelligence, sir.

And we know more.

Our bombers have pounded just
about every spot in Germany

they've used
for a meeting place.

So they're going where they
don't think we'll follow--

Stalag 13.

You're going
to bomb us?

It's been brought up.

And rejected.

Which is where
you come in, Hogan.

Sit down.

Hogan, you have quite
a reputation for the offbeat,

the bizarre,
and for bringing it off.

I have a good crew, sir.

And you're going
to need them.

Now... sometime,
in the next very few days,

the greatest amphibious
force in history

is going to hit
the coast of France.

And when it does,
we need, desperately,

some indecision
from the Germans

before they react.

Now, Hogan, we want
nothing less from you

than to tie up
the German General Staff.

Can you do it?

I must say, sir,

it's quite a challenge.

That's good enough.

The means,
we'll leave up to you.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, and just one more thing.

Our informant will
also be at Stalag 13.

She's the wife
of General von Scheider,

German Chief of Staff.

That's a pretty
good informant.

Well, yes and no.

You see, we planted
her years ago,

before she married
von Scheider,

and, after that, we
lost contact with her.

Deliberately.
Too risky.

Well, now there's
no reason to hold back.

This is it.

Use her if
you can, Hogan.

But remember, she's been
away from us a long time.

Don't trust her completely,
unless you have to.

Yes, sir.

Good luck, old man.

Thanks, sir.

Carry on.

Up, up, up,
up, up, up!

Everybody up!

I must have your
immediate attention!

What's going on?

I have a very important
announcement to make.

All prisoners are confined
into the barracks

until further notice.

( indistinct shouting )

All prisoners are confined
into the barracks

until further notice.

And any prisoner found

not in the barracks
will be shot.

Hey, get
the white gloves.

Hey, what happened
to you, Schultz?

You look just
like a soldier.

Herr Kommandant
informed me personally

that Stalag 13 is
the most important spot

of all of Germany.

Why?

He did not
tell me,

but he wanted me

to be sure
that Colonel Hogan...

Where is Colonel Hogan?

Where should he be?

Right here!

If he's not here, I would
like to know where he is.

I think I would like
to know where he is.

( faint knocking )

Where is Colonel Hogan?

Why don't you
take a look

in his office,
Schultz?

I will!

Is he in there?

No, but by that time,
he may be out here.

I demand to kno...
Shh... don't tell me.

SCHULTZ:
Colonel Hogan!

Colonel Hogan!

Hogan, where
are you?!

Hi.

How's it going?
Welcome home, Colonel.

Colonel Hogan!

Somebody call my name?

Colonel Hogan,
where have you been?

I have strict orders
from Commandant Klink

that nothing
out of the way should happen

in the next several days.

That everything has to be...

Something wrong, Schultz?

I see nothing.

( anxious muttering )

Hey, how
was it?

What happened in London,
Colonel?

Did you get a chance
to visit Ginger?

Goes anywhere,
anytime, day or night.

If you think my
commanding officer would do...

All right,
hold it, hold it.

Small talk later.

We got
work to do.

The German Army General Staff

is due here
in less than an hour.

You're kidding.

Straight stuff.

Here?

I'll design
my greatest bomb.

No violence.
Psychological warfare.

Who does the best Hitler?

Audio or visual?

On the phone.

Kinch.

No doubt
about it. Kinch?!

Yes, Kinch
does the best.

HOGAN:
All right, all right. It's all set.

Now, this is so big...

I-I can't tell you
what it is.

D day.

( knocking )

Coming, sir, coming.

Just one moment.

Welcome, General...

Hogan!

What are you doing here?

I left strict orders.

Any prisoners found
outside the barracks

would be shot.

I just came
through the tunnel.

There's an entrance
in your outer office.

( muttering )

Schultz!
Sergeant Schultz!

Report to me
on the double!

Something up, sir?

I'm going to have you escorted
back to your barracks at once.

( phone ringing )
Schultz!

Telephone, sir.

I don't have time to listen
to the telephone! Schultz!

I'll get it.
No!

Hello?

( German accent ):
Colonel Klink?

Yes, yes, yes.

This is General Borneman,

calling from
Bergtesgarten.

Oh, General Borneman, I beg
your pardon, General Borneman.

This is a recording of
the voice of the Fuhrer

being played for
all the colonels

in the German army.

Are you listening?

Sir, I'm listening, I'm
listening with all my being.

Did you call me,
Herr Kommandant?

Schultz,
be quiet!

To all colonels,

the war goes poorly.

Why?

Because my generals
cannot follow orders!

Because, from
the chief of staff down,

they put themselves before
the genius of the Fuhrer.

Therefore, I shall
teach them a lesson.

I shall seek out and find
the most incompetent colonel

in the entire German army--
but one who can follow orders.

He shall be
my new chief of staff.

Together, we shall sweep
on to glorious victory

for the fatherland.

I have spoken!

Bad news from
home, sir?

Incredible news, Hogan.

The Fuhrer is looking
for the most

incompetent colonel
in the Germany Army,

to make him his
new chief of staff.

Marvelous!
Congratulations!

Hogan!

With my record...

Why, they've
even chosen Stalag 13

as the meeting place
for the General Staff.

The General Staff.

What am I to say
to General von Scheider?

Tell him 20 prisoners
have escaped

and you're right
in the running.

Uh-huh, uh-huh...

Hogan! I can't do that.

Schultz, take him
back to his barracks

and see to it
that he stays there.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

If you change your mind, sir,

just take the guards
off the south tower

for five minutes,
we'll make you a big man.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I'll let you know.

Schultz! Out with him!

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

Herr Kommandant, were I in
your favorable position...

Out!

Well, and here we are.

I do hope that you find
my quarters satisfactory.

Herr General,
Frau von Scheider.

Yes, it will do.

Now, as you
can see,

I myself live in Spartan
bachelor simplicity.

They will do, Klink,
they will do.

Herr General,
thank you.

The staff is waiting
for me, Lilli.

I shall manage, Karl.

Uh, Herr General, shall
we go to my office?

I shall go.

Of course, of course.

I wouldn't think of intruding.

Good.

I'll be back soon, Lilli.

Good-bye, Karl.

Herr General.

Frau von Scheider.

If you are trying
to escape, Colonel,

you will need a much
better sense of direction.

It's adequate, thanks.

But there is something else
you can help me with.

Oh?

And why should
I help you?

Because I know who you are
and what you are.

Who told you?

Never mind.

What's important now is how
up-to-date is your information?

I wouldn't know.

You are my first contact
in over three years.

It was for your own protection.

I didn't need protection,
I needed contact.

Have you any idea

what happens to a woman
in three years?

He loves me, you know.

Yet you kept sending
information.

With no reply!
None!

Look, whatever the past
three years have been,

what matters to me is now.

I'm working on a plan to
immobilize the General Staff.

I'm making them
think that Hitler

is replacing von Scheider

with the most incompetent
colonel in the Wehrmacht,

just to bring
the army to heel.

( chuckles ):
How bizarre.

I'm noted for that.

The colonel that's
taking his place is Klink,

which makes it
even more bizarre.

But you are
a prisoner of war.

How can you make
such things happen?

That's why
I need the help.

They told me not
to get in touch with you

unless I had to, and I had to.

Now, are you in or out?

After all this time,

I am to help
with this crazy scheme

which has no possibility
of realization?

It's up to you.

For laughs... yes.

Thanks.

You'll have a million.

How do I look, Colonel?

Like a Boy Scout
with a mustache,

but you're all we've got.

Schultz's here.

What'll I do?
Stay here.

If we can't fool Schultz,
we can't fool anybody.

Colonel Hogan.

Colonel Hogan, have you
heard the latest?

You know I don't
spread rumors, Schultz.

This is a definite rumor.

There is a Gestapo major
coming into camp

to check on Commandant
Klink's efficiency--

for the office
of chief of staff.

Ah, come off
it, Schultzy.

I swear!

It's the most efficient
checkup of inefficiency

in the history of Germany.

And we, humph, we are
a very efficient people.

Where'd you
hear it?

Well, it...

W-W-Who-Who-Who...?

Aha!

Fraternizing with
the prisoners, is it?

Giving them valuable
military information, is it?

Aha!

( stammering )

Silence!

This confirms exactly
what these men had told me.

This is the worst run
prisoner-of-war camp in all of Germany.

That's bad, sir?

That's good...

for Klink's chances
of promotion to chief of staff.

Oh, that's good.

That's bad.

He will be replaced
by someone

who will send bumblers like
you to the Russian front!

That's very bad.

Cheer up, Schultz.

It's only a rumor.

Klink?!

Impossible.

Good-bye, Lilli.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Now, we were
discussing...

General von Scheider,
not Klink.

You've heard
the rumors then.

My sincerest sympathy.

Frau von Scheider
told me at lunch.

The wives always
know first, somehow.

And the Gestapo is already here.

Apparently the chances
of Klink look very good.

General, my father
was a general

of the German army,
as was yours.

We have roots, tradition.

We will not stand
for this humiliation

at the hands
of an Austrian corporal.

General von Scheider stays.

Who speaks for
the true Germany?

All for one and one for all.

Colonel Klink...

( groans )

Kommandant Klink!

( groans )

Oh... Major,
at your service, sir.

Major Lindenfelder
from Berlin.

Uh-huh.

Checking.

Checking, yes, sir.

I trust that everything
is in perfect order?

Miserable.

Miserable, hmm.
Is that bad or is it good?

So far, you are getting

my highest failing marks
in everything. Come.

No, no, no, please.

The General Staff
is meeting in there.

So?
Oh!

...one could
be here and...

May I inquire
the meaning of this?

The Gestapo never gives
answers, just questions.

The major's
just checking.

You presume, Major,
to break in on the Army General Staff?

Out!

I take orders only
from the Fuhrer.

Not from has-beens.

Has-beens.

I was a general when you were
still living in the gutter.

Now, gentlemen,
gentlemen.

Why, there is much to be
said on both sides.

I feel that...

Oh, am I intruding?
I can come back.

Out!
Out!

Stay.

Stay.

Klink, I thought all prisoners
were to remain in barracks.

Major Lindenfelder, I gave
the strictest instructions

to...
Mm-hmm.

Another black mark, Klink.

I feel terrible.

Klink, you have compiled
a perfect inefficiency rating.

I think the Fuhrer has found
a new chief of staff.

It was nothing.

Nothing?

That is the word for it.

Major, you can tell Berlin

that the General Staff
is united and firm.

They're not accepting
this humiliation.

And that is final!

Final?

Uh-huh.

And you, General Bruner,

you are putting yourself
in defiance of Herr Hitler?

He is.

I have my duty
as a German soldier.

Of course, uh, obedience
to orders is a part of duty.

Bernhart...

And you,
General von Katz?

I am sure, if the Fuhrer

truly understood
the situation,

his well-known sense
of fair play would...

von Katz!

Uh-huh.

You may expect a phone call
in a matter of hours.

Yes, sir, a phone call.

General Klink.

( excited chuckle )

Sounds right--
General Klink.

Stalag 13.

I'm sorry, he's still
in a staff meeting, General.

He's taking no calls.

Stalag 13.

General Rommel.

Is that the General Rommel?

( static )

They're jamming, Colonel.

The BBC-- they're
blocking out

all the German radar
installations

between Le Havre
and Dunkirk.

That's it-- D day.

They'll be hitting
the beaches in a couple of hours.

Guess we better
get started, huh? Right.

Colonel, the woman
is outside.

Frau von Scheider?

She came down
through the entrance

in Klink's quarters
on her own.

I found her wandering
in the tunnels.

Oh. I'm sorry to come here,
but I had to see you.

All right, what is it?

The plan will not work.

My husband...

von Scheider has
managed to rally them.

He is holding them to their
word as German officers.

They will not step down,
even if they are convinced

the order comes
from Hitler himself.

You let us worry
about that.

Now you are
to stay with him.

Keep him off balance,
keep him from checking it out.

But it will not work.

I have been his wife
for three years.

I know him.

That's another thing.

We have orders
to get you back to England.

Your assignment
in Germany is finished.

They want to start
using what you've learned.

Just like that?

I am to pick up and to leave?

Maybe you'd rather stay?

No.

But I am a human being.

Surely you can understand that.

Right now, I've got time
to understand just one thing.

We've got a thousand ships
crossing the channel,

ready to hit the French beaches,
and I've got work to do.

LeBeau, get her
to Klink's office.

Right, sir.

We're going to make
a phone call to there in five minutes.

You may be right
about von Scheider.

But we're betting the other way.

Yes.

Bergtesgarten.

Von Scheider?

Von Scheider,
put Klink on the phone, now.

The Fuhrer wishes
to speak to you.

Me?

( heels clicking )

Yes, mein Fuhrer.

Are you able
to follow orders, Klink?

Oh, I love to follow
orders, mein Fuhrer.

Almost any orders,
especially your orders.

You are my
new Army Chief of Staff.

Do not make a move
without my permission.

Is that clear?

Perfectly.
Thank you, sir.

I shall do my best
to justify

the great confidence
you've shown in me.

Shut up and put on von Scheider.

Shut up and put on
von Scheider. Yes, sir.

Are you there, von Scheider?

Ja, mein Fuhrer.

Tell me, do you remember
what happened

to the last chief
of staff before you?

I believe he shot himself,
Fuhrer.

He was allowed
to shoot himself!

With you, I am going
to be much more lenient.

You will succeed Klink
as kommandant of Stalag 13.

Kommandant of Stalag 13?

Are you there, von Scheider?

Did you hear me?

Ja, mein Fuhrer, I heard.

And I just
want to say...

...thank you.

Thank you,
mein Fuhrer.

Two American airborne divisions
parachuted into Normandy.

1:11 a.m.
That's a half hour ago.

Vivéz les Americains.

Colonel, it's
von Roenstadt's headquarters.

They insist on talking
to General von Scheider.

Rommel's headquarters.
They're trying to get through.

All right, this is it.

From now on,
all calls in or out,

go direct to Klink's quarters.

All calls?

If we can't trust Klink
to do the right thing,

who can we trust?

Another toast to the
new Chief of Staff.

Ja, ja.
General Klink.

General Klink.

I will drink to that.

SCHULTZ:
Herr Kommandant! Excuse me, please!

Herr Kommandant!

Oh, I mean, Herr Chief of Staff!

General von Roenstadt himself
is calling from France.

He insists on speaking with
General von Scheider at once.

Well, I suppose the news
has not yet reached him.

Excuse me.

Thank you, Schultz.

My dear von Roenstadt,
this is your new

Army Chief of Staff
Wilhelm Klink speaking.

Now, General von Scheider is...

What?

They're doing what?

Those barbarians!

They're invading France.

Yes, sir?

Reinforcements?

New panzer divisions?

You want me to...?

General Roenstadt,
I shall have to call you back.

What shall I do?

Where's the assault?

Normandy.

A feint,
a diversion.

The main blow
will come at Calais.

You are wrong.
Le Havre.

Le Havre.
I still insist.

But what shall I do?
I mean...

Ah! General von Scheider.

The Allies are invading.
What shall I do?

Have you seen Lilli?

Where could she be
at this hour?

( phone ringing )

Please, General von Scheider!

SCHULTZ:
Herr Chief of Staff, please!

General Rommel's headquarters.

And light divisions
are landing on the beaches.

I'm not here!

Her small suitcase
is gone.

All right, all right.
I'll get her another one.

But what am
I going to do?

The Panzer Lehr
and the 12th S.S. Panzer Division

should be brought up.

Only if this is
not a feint.

Permission to move panzers
can only be given

personally by Hitler.

The very thing!
Hitler! Call him.

I have been relieved.

General Bruner,
you call him.

It's not my place.

von Katz?

No, thank you.

You see, it's all up to you,
General von Scheider.

I'm going to look for Lilli.

Please,
General von Scheider, I...

Schultz, you call him.

Yes, Herr Chief of Staff.

What shall I call him?

All right.

Get me Bergtesgarten,
the Fuhrer's headquarters.

It's very urgent.

What time does he go to bed?

Hello.

General Borneman?

This is Klink, speaking.
Army Chief of Staff Klink.

I suppose I could call
myself General Klink,

but until the papers
come through...

What?

K-L-I... never mind.

Did you know
that we were being invaded?

Yes, Normandy.

They are coming ashore
like locusts.

So if you'll just ask the Fuhrer
what he wants me to do, I'll...

Hmm?

Klink. K-L-I-N-K.

The new Army Chief of Staff.

No, I'm not drunk!

Yes, of course
I've been drinking,

but an Army Chief of Staff
does not get drunk.

You just ask him...
Huh?

He's in bed?

He left strict orders
not to be disturbed?

Well, an order is an order,
General Borneman,

so if you will just be
kind enough

to bring it to his attention
in the morning, I would...

General Borneman?

General Borneman...?

I think we've been cut off.

Shall I try to get
him back, sir?

No!

What shall we do?

We must do something.

Yes, we must
do something.

More champagne?

That's it, Colonel.

I just told London

that Jerry won't be moving
any reinforcements for awhile.

Good.

Colonel, I'd like
to volunteer for service

with the invading forces.

Request denied.

Although I know
how you feel.

Right now, I want you
to take Frau von Scheider

to her rendezvous
with the submarine.

She's headed for England.

C'est la guerre.

Good-bye.

So long.

And good luck.

Your papers, ma'am.

Oh, thank you.

It was a brilliant
operation, Colonel.

Bizarre, but brilliant.

Have a safe trip.

Thank you.

Good-bye.

Uh...

Any farewell messages?

No, because I leave
no one behind.

Good-bye.

Colonel?

What did she
mean by that?

Carter, when you're older,
you'll understand.

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