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1
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:08,042
CARTER: Seriously, you
don't want to miss this!
2
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:13,013
Seven kegs, two dozen
boxes of Roman candles,
3
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,116
one human slingshot.
4
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:18,886
We are talking about the
kegger of the century here.
5
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,321
Stop taunting us, Carter.
6
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,389
We want to go!
7
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:22,856
But, we promised
our folks we'd
8
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:25,359
go on one final camping trip.
9
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:28,496
The stars are
aligned, my friends.
10
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:29,697
Check it out.
11
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:33,000
Your campsite is here,
Twig Wilderness Park.
12
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,936
The party is at Garland
Point, the northern tip.
13
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,740
It's like a two,
three beer walk, tops.
14
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,142
Why are you only
looking at her, not me?
15
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,111
'Cause she makes
all the decisions.
16
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,245
That is not true.
17
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,046
OK, quick, what
are you wearing?
18
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,416
Cargo pants, and my
I'm with stupid t-shirt.
19
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:49,983
Oh, no, sweetie,
we agreed that
20
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,819
t-shirt's wildly
inaccurate, and plaid
21
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,088
goes better with your jeans.
22
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,723
So Jessie makes
a few decisions.
23
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,691
We like it that way.
24
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,994
And who made that decision?
25
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:04,198
PHIL: I still can't believe
you guys are coming along.
26
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:05,566
Camping used to be
our favorite family
27
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,136
activity until--
28
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,403
Until what?
29
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,972
You got lost, someone
died, you had to eat them.
30
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,607
We've all been there.
31
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,377
I think it's best if we
concentrate on maintaining
32
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,846
a small perimeter, and
interact with nature as little
33
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:19,913
as possible.
34
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,882
Well, if that's
your idea of camping,
35
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:23,551
then maybe we should
just stay home.
36
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,319
Ben already put a
deposit on the camper.
37
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,420
Camper?
38
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,621
This is supposed to
be about roughing it.
39
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,423
It's just a small upgrade.
40
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,324
[horn honks]
41
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,292
[ben laughs]
42
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,127
Oh, whoa.
43
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,695
BEN: Nature, here we come.
44
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,398
You can't expect me
to carpool with this.
45
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,632
Watch.
46
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:42,136
You tuck your car inside, Phil.
47
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,472
What do you think, honey?
48
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,340
It's a fortress on wheels.
49
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,375
Perfect.
50
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,276
Wow.
51
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,643
Hey, Jess.
52
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,045
So, how many veggie burgers
does Tom want for the weekend?
53
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,046
I am right here.
54
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,315
Three for Tom, one for me.
55
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,884
OK, thanks.
56
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,287
Are you at least in
charge of the condiments?
57
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,725
[THEME - HAWKSLEY WORKMAN AND
DOLLY, "YES I DO"]
58
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:10,164
THEME SONG: Can't we find a
way that we could be together?
59
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:15,102
Is there any way that
we could be together?
60
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:19,540
And, oh, by the way,
baby, tell me you love me.
61
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:24,478
Yes, I do, yes, I do, yes, I do.
62
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:25,479
Yes, I do.
63
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,856
[cheerful music]
64
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,529
Hey there, who
wants a Campaccino?
65
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:42,430
Huh?
66
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,398
For heaven's sakes, Ben.
67
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,466
We're not savages.
68
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,268
Nope.
69
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,370
Well, you can't
get away from it all
70
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,539
if you take it all
with you, Judith.
71
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,276
Well, we find life's
little luxuries are magnified
72
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,777
in the great outdoors.
73
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:57,978
Life's little annoyances, too.
74
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:58,879
Yeah.
75
00:02:58,979 --> 00:02:59,947
I heard that, Phil.
76
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,682
Oh, china.
77
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:02,983
Oh.
78
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,085
You know what
Carter said about you
79
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,454
making all the decisions?
80
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:07,621
Not all.
81
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,323
85, 90%.
82
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:12,526
Well, I say for the rest
of this trip, we trade.
83
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,362
But I love when we
play to our strengths,
84
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:17,331
and decision making hasn't
always been yours, no offense.
85
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,099
[sputters]
86
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,702
So how's the campfire
coffee there, Phil?
87
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:22,903
PHIL: Ha!
88
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,507
I say we ditch this place
and go find the kegger.
89
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,977
I stand corrected.
90
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:33,213
TOM: By the time we get back,
they'll be getting along great.
91
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,549
Yeah, or they'll
have killed each other.
92
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,385
Well, at least
it'll be quieter.
93
00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:39,820
And we'll be getting back
with a brand new skill set.
94
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,623
You, with an easy-going,
go with the flow attitude.
95
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,858
And a straightforward sense
of confidence and leadership
96
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,859
for you.
- Yeah.
97
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:46,760
[laughs]
98
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,362
[animal calls]
99
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,701
OK I'm not trying
to take over here,
100
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,305
but I do think you
should have this.
101
00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,741
You realize by handing me that
compass, you're taking over.
102
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:01,642
But--
103
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,543
Sorry.
104
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,346
Well, give--
105
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,381
But, of course I'm
gonna need the compass
106
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,250
if I'm going to take over.
107
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,151
Oh.
108
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,791
Give up already?
109
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:21,128
Jessie's the only one
who likes campfire coffee.
110
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,364
Or, maybe that's
why she bailed.
111
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,899
I don't know why
we're even here
112
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,401
now that the kids are gone.
113
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,370
You can't really
blame them for wanting
114
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:32,973
to have a romantic night
away from their parents.
115
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,309
I should have never done
this again, especially
116
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,209
after what happened last--
117
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,177
Judith!
118
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,612
Did you not promise
if I rented you
119
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,147
the biggest RV on the
market that you would
120
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,849
never bring that up again?
121
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,150
What happened the last time?
122
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,253
Let's just say nature lost.
123
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,756
What gets me is, this is
probably our last family trip.
124
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,591
The kids won't be living
in your attic forever.
125
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,393
Oh, don't overestimate Tom.
126
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,829
All right, I say we
make the best of this.
127
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,598
Come on, Judith,
how about a hike?
128
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,499
Get some fresh air?
129
00:04:58,599 --> 00:04:59,700
What do you say?
130
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,769
Let's just turn up the AC.
131
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,404
Not an option.
132
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,738
Come on, get up.
133
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:05,639
Come on.
134
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,409
Come on.
135
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,711
Look, this is a lost cause.
136
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,280
Oh, got it!
137
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,582
Good work, Jess.
138
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,149
All right, let's get going.
139
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,084
Wait.
140
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,420
Magnetic north is
no longer fixed.
141
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,188
Well, that's OK,
we're not going north.
142
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,490
Yeah, we are.
143
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,558
And given that moss grows
on the north side of trees,
144
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,660
it's that way.
145
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,196
So you're in charge again.
146
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:30,297
No.
147
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,665
I'm not.
148
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,667
I broke the compass, I'm just
trying to fix what I broke.
149
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,168
It's OK.
150
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,438
Old habits are hard to break,
although ours, technically,
151
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,607
aren't even that old.
152
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,375
That's north.
153
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,275
[jessie sighs]
154
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:45,479
Oh, the bog ate my shoes.
155
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,947
CARTER: Come on,
the kegger awaits.
156
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:54,788
Ah, nothing beats a veggie
dog blackened over an open fire.
157
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,090
When did blackened
become the new burned?
158
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,627
Nature unplugged offers
its own kind of high.
159
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:00,761
You just don't get it.
160
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,263
You have to be high to
get charred tofu, Phil.
161
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,498
Come with me.
162
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:05,699
I think you'll
find nature plugged
163
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,568
in has its own unique mystique.
164
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,169
I can't leave my
dogs unattended.
165
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,738
They've ignited every time.
166
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,540
Unattended would
be an improvement.
167
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,441
Come on.
168
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,341
Yeah.
169
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,279
That is ridiculous.
170
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,649
Why don't you just use a stick?
171
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,484
I thought you'd want
the sticks preserved
172
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,086
in their natural habitat.
173
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,589
And RV's should
stay in theirs.
174
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,759
Packed like sardines
on the freeway.
175
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,894
The motor-home is excessive
for a wilderness park,
176
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:38,265
I grant you, but I wanted to put
a buffer between us and nature.
177
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:41,101
Oh, my God.
178
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:47,741
Why would anyone want a
buffer from a sight like that?
179
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,177
JUDITH: Oh, no.
180
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,879
[MUSIC - LEWIS LAMEDICA, "LET'S
BLOW IT ALL"] Hey,
181
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,080
little honey, I've got--
182
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,449
See, Phil, the turning
speed simulates the flavor
183
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,884
profile of a campfire.
184
00:06:56,984 --> 00:07:00,287
And the meat simulates heaven.
185
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,221
[whistles]
186
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,456
Yeah I know.
187
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,459
This baby's a little extreme
for the bush, isn't it?
188
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,260
I wanted Judith to
relax, and the six
189
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,597
speaker sound system, and
ice maker, and Wolf range
190
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,732
didn't hurt.
191
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,501
She deserves it after
what happened last time.
192
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,935
And what the hell happened?
193
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,203
Let's just say
nothing that won't
194
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:19,039
be forgotten after a new
and successful camping
195
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,340
sojourn, hmm?
196
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,241
[glasses clink]
197
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:22,610
Hmm.
198
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,144
TARA: Judith, come on.
199
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,179
You can't run away
from this forever.
200
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,080
Run?
201
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,549
No, power walk, maybe.
202
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,918
OK, just stop, stop, please.
203
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,386
What happened last
time you went camping?
204
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,722
[judith sighs]
205
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:41,394
OK, it was, um,
five years ago.
206
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,598
The whole family
came, even Monica.
207
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,733
Monica Monica?
208
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,267
Yeah, we knew if we
left her alone again,
209
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,802
she'd try to sell the house.
210
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:55,208
Anyway, um, this gorgeous
deer wandered into the camp.
211
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,678
Walked right up to us.
212
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,312
Even ate berries
from Ben's hand.
213
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,214
Well, that sounds magical.
214
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,150
It was.
215
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:07,020
Until this heavy metal cooler
Ben had hoisted in a tree
216
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:11,692
to bear proof the camp site
crashed down on its head.
217
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:12,860
Oh, my God.
218
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:13,761
Dead?
219
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,162
Oh.
220
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,297
The whole family
was traumatized.
221
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,498
Tom was bawling.
222
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,933
Monica didn't even laugh at him.
223
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,134
That is horrible.
224
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,035
That poor animal.
225
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,904
It haunted me for years.
226
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,073
I haven't been able to watch
"Bambi" or "Reindeer Games"
227
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:26,974
since.
228
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,375
"Bambi" I understand.
229
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,811
The "Reindeer Games" didn't
have any animals in it.
230
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,345
No, I know, it's
just a horrible movie.
231
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,918
What's in a tofu dog, anyway?
232
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,153
Flies.
233
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,055
Whereas here, we have cow.
234
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,991
And sheep, goats, raccoons.
235
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,028
Deer.
236
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,162
Probably.
237
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,232
No, no, no, no, no, by
your campfire, a deer.
238
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,533
Look.
239
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,236
My God, look at him.
240
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,738
I gotta get a picture of this.
241
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,006
Just enjoy the moment, dude.
242
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,507
A picture won't
do it any justice.
243
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:01,709
Come on, help
me find my camera.
244
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,811
It's around here somewhere.
245
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,646
OK.
246
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,547
Judith, you have to
know that what happened
247
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,516
to that deer was an accident.
248
00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:10,417
You don't understand.
249
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,886
The Bellows kill nature.
250
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,823
First time we went camping,
Ben ran over a possum.
251
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,858
OK, that's not a big deal.
252
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,392
He was jogging.
253
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,561
He literally ran over it.
254
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,063
Then there was the
time I hammered a tent
255
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,698
peg into a groundhog burrow.
256
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,033
Uh-huh.
257
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,670
It was like the "Passion
of the Christ", but with fur.
258
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,338
No, we're cursed.
259
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,940
Cursed to be nature killers.
260
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,175
[playful music]
261
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,210
TOM: How you doing back there?
262
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,179
JESSIE: What I'm lacking
in footwear I'm making
263
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,580
up for in total surrender.
264
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,650
I feel like the weight of the
world is off my shoulders.
265
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,853
Yeah, you know, I've
never felt so focused.
266
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,388
I think I finally have
a sense of direction.
267
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,791
Good, because I could really
get used to this freedom.
268
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,760
Yeah, I could get
used to this power.
269
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,995
I feel so leaderly.
270
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,230
Um, Tom?
271
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,599
Yeah, It's a real word, Jess.
272
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,600
I just decided.
273
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,869
Bang.
274
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,536
Speaking of bang, I don't
want to second guess you,
275
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:06,539
but I think this is
some kind of sign.
276
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,341
[gunshot rings]
277
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,476
Oh, what do we do now?
278
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,377
Run!
279
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,219
[chuckles]
280
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,387
Found it.
281
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:21,755
Perfect.
Come on.
282
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,356
Get a picture of this
thing before it takes off.
283
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,359
All right, relax,
he's not going anywhere.
284
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,461
He's into the two dozen
veggie dogs I left by the--
285
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,162
[grunt]
[thud]
286
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,665
What was that sound?
287
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,166
It sounded like a
groan, but louder.
288
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,169
PHIL: Oh, maybe it was a--
289
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,637
Oh, crap.
290
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,144
The Bellow curse lives on.
291
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,116
You still want me
to take that picture?
292
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,155
[camera shutter clicks]
293
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,991
Judith cannot see this deer.
294
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,026
[groans]
295
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,261
I knew those veggie
dogs were killers.
296
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,263
Oh, who knows what
did this beast in.
297
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,700
Tofu dogs, deer flies,
low socioeconomic status.
298
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,268
How do we explain
the missing tent?
299
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,503
I'll tell Tara it
blew away, and then you
300
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:11,571
can bunk in our RV.
301
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,006
If we don't keep this
thing under wraps,
302
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,108
next thing we'll have is bears.
303
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,009
OK.
304
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:16,910
[groans]
305
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,012
This should be far enough.
306
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,248
[pants]
307
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,883
Oh, crap.
308
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:27,220
Here, take that.
309
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,889
Electronic
monitoring bracelet?
310
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,223
No way, dude,
these things chafe.
311
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,558
It's a tracking device.
312
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,927
The last thing we need is a
park ranger down our backs.
313
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,829
Then we'd have
to kill him, too.
314
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,965
Hey, look, run into the woods
as far as you can and toss it.
315
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,066
Can you handle that?
316
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,834
- Does a bear crap in the woods?
- Good man.
317
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:41,802
No, I mean it.
318
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,205
I'd hate to run into
a crapping bear.
319
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,907
OK, too soon to joke.
320
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,743
I get it.
321
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,745
JESSIE: I think
that's far enough.
322
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:52,846
I almost got us killed.
323
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:53,747
It's OK.
324
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,849
It was your first shot, Tom.
325
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,117
Bad choice of words.
326
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,220
Point is, great leaders
learn from their mistakes.
327
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:04,091
JFK, Winston
Churchill, Napoleon!
328
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,026
Napoleon's a
flavor of ice cream.
329
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:10,397
Actually, it's three flavors,
and it's Neapolitan, but--
330
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,899
Great leaders take
responsibility,
331
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:14,001
and then they move on.
332
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:17,370
If they can find their
way in the woods, that is.
333
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,671
Don't worry about it.
334
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,240
Follow me.
335
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,242
Two words, indoor plumbing.
336
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:26,814
Let's hope the door's unlocked.
337
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,384
Nice work, chief.
338
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,026
I cannot believe people
treat the forest as their own
339
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,094
personal garbage dump.
340
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:45,432
And I can't believe people
throw S&M parties up here.
341
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,067
We Bellow's may
be nature killers,
342
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,337
but we draw the
line at littering.
343
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,472
How about drawing the
line at air conditioning
344
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,808
the entire planet?
- No!
345
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:55,809
[sighs]
346
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:56,877
Please tell me
we're not locked out.
347
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:57,777
Oh!
348
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,947
Damn.
349
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:03,150
I will officially
follow you anywhere.
350
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,785
Well, I'll take the blame
for almost getting us killed,
351
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,988
but I get the
credit for this one.
352
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:11,158
Clean feet in exchange
for almost getting shot?
353
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,360
Totally worth it.
354
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,129
Well, these feet aren't
going to re-dirty themselves.
355
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,831
Let's hit that kegger!
356
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,900
After you.
357
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,835
[door rattles]
358
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,736
[groans]
359
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,072
Nice going.
360
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,139
Nice going.
361
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,074
I'm sorry.
362
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,642
It's OK, I'm sure
Ben has the key.
363
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:30,543
Oh.
364
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,912
- Hey.
- Hey.
365
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,246
Welcome back.
How was the walk?
366
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,147
Magical.
367
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,415
Horrifying.
368
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,885
We saw a deer right up
there on the top of the hill.
369
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:38,785
Antlers?
370
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,620
Yeah, you saw the same one?
371
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,489
Wasn't it magnificent?
372
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,390
And heavy.
373
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,958
Ben?
374
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:45,859
Do you have the key?
375
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,360
Yep.
376
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,528
Phil?
377
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,963
What happened to our tent?
378
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,136
JESSIE: Do you
have anything else?
379
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,938
My dad's spare key to the RV.
380
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,439
Try picking the
lock with that.
381
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,674
You can't pick a
lock with another key.
382
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,877
That's just trying to unlock
a door with the wrong key.
383
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:04,777
See.
384
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,949
[tom sighs]
385
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,784
[rock music]
386
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,888
Do you hear something?
387
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,090
The kegger.
388
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,025
I hate Carter.
389
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:23,997
A gustnado?
390
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,098
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
391
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,534
Must have taken the
tent in one fell swoop.
392
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,069
You know, in fact,
there's some debate as to
393
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:33,240
whether or not a gustnado is
not actually a mini tornado.
394
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,807
Of course, it could
also have been a bear.
395
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,376
Bear.
396
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,845
Somebody always
has to say bear.
397
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,117
PHIL: It's nice up here.
398
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,789
JESSIE: I wonder who put
bars on these windows.
399
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,424
I wonder who will
find our bodies.
400
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:52,960
I wonder who will go first.
401
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,627
Well, if it's me,
I give you permission
402
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,363
to eat my cold, dead flesh.
403
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,764
Thanks.
404
00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:00,533
I think.
405
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,069
And if you go first?
406
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,906
You don't want me to eat you
because you blame me for this.
407
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,741
No, no, it's not
your fault. I just,
408
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,944
I want to leave a tidy corpse.
409
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,382
I'm sorry if I'm too bossy.
410
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,184
You're not bossy.
411
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:19,319
You know what you like,
you chase after it,
412
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,521
and then, you kill
it with a stick.
413
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:25,058
Yeah, and then I bring it
home and I share it with you.
414
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,559
We work the way we are.
415
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,028
I miss wimpy Tom.
416
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,630
I miss bossy Jessie.
417
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,865
Although, I don't miss
being called wimpy Tom.
418
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,801
[laughs]
419
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,504
I hope the kids
are having fun.
420
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,771
I hope they're dead.
421
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,940
Or at least out
of hand sanitizer.
422
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,709
This was supposed to be
a family camping trip, not
423
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,378
a bad episode of Survivor.
- Ben!
424
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,315
There wasn't a bad
episode of Survivor.
425
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,317
I'm sorry, you know, I guess
I'm feeling a little hurt.
426
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,685
They dropped us
like a hot potato.
427
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,588
I'm sorry Ben didn't
let us smash the window.
428
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,725
I'm sorry that you
guys won't stop talking.
429
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:04,564
Just look at all those stars.
430
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,934
I feel so insignificant.
431
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,770
I love being part
of the bigger picture.
432
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,372
Well, stars last
the millennia,
433
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,008
and we're gone in
the blink of an eye.
434
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:24,451
Yeah, screw the
stars, I miss the kids.
435
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,219
Once they're gone,
what have we got?
436
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,321
Indigestion?
437
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,222
I rest my case.
438
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,764
[gentle music]
439
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,601
JESSIE: It's morning.
440
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,836
Now what do we do?
441
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:44,904
We've got to get to that vent.
442
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:50,343
[tom groans]
- Come on, Tom.
443
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:53,346
Who was the queen of
sixth-grade gymnastics?
444
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,983
That rope won't even hold you.
445
00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,919
Team work.
446
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,389
[tom groans]
447
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,357
Oh, oh.
448
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,325
[jessie yells]
449
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,760
I'm falling!
450
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,230
The handle broke.
451
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:14,134
[energetic music]
452
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,006
[jessie gasps]
453
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,974
[tom laughs]
454
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,010
[jessie laughs]
455
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,245
Whoa!
456
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,680
Oh, God.
457
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,317
It is so beautiful out here.
458
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:36,889
Fresh air, trees, the tent!
459
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:39,459
Oh, yeah,
underneath the bushes.
460
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,593
Right there.
461
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,395
No, no, no, that
couldn't be, couldn't be.
462
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,463
The wind was too strong.
463
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,664
- I think it's probably--
- What?
464
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,565
Ben?
465
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,736
[laughs nervously]
466
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,838
Judith?
467
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:55,742
There's no easy way to say this.
468
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,544
Phil killed a deer.
469
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,511
What?
470
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,347
It wasn't me, per se.
471
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,349
It ate one too many veggie dogs.
472
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,050
[judith sighs]
473
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,084
We killed another one.
474
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,619
No, honey,
technically, you could
475
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,588
hang this on the entire
vegetarian movement.
476
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,757
It is a compelling argument
for going back to meat.
477
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,559
- Don't.
- I have to see it.
478
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:13,493
What?
479
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,894
No, no, honey.
- Judith, Judith.
480
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,062
Honey, it's all maggoty, and--
481
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,430
[judith scoffs]
482
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,432
I can't believe
you killed a deer.
483
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,934
OK.
484
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,238
What I don't get is, why
did you wrap it in our tent?
485
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,740
'Cause I didn't want
Judith to see the body,
486
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,641
given our history.
487
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,377
You mean the curse?
488
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,345
Are you sure you
want to do this?
489
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,246
I have to face the fear.
490
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,125
It's gone.
491
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:48,861
You see, it's our
differences that make us work.
492
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,763
We are like salt
and pepper, my dad's
493
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,032
tacos and anti-acid tablets.
494
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,367
I get it.
495
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,569
We are who we are, and even
though the rest of the world
496
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,938
doesn't value my ability
to follow blindly,
497
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:02,575
you do, and that's what counts.
498
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,277
I've been here before.
499
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,179
I think this is where
my dad killed the deer.
500
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,214
Your dad killed a deer?
501
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,448
I've never told you
that story before?
502
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,550
Oh, I definitely have
to tell you that story.
503
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,586
It really helps
explain my mom, a lot.
504
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,087
Tom, look!
505
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,628
I remember that.
506
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,363
I carved it on our
last camping trip.
507
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:27,734
It must have been about five
years ago, before we hooked up.
508
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,537
That was a very good decision.
509
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,004
More like a pathetic wish.
510
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,673
Which came true,
which means you
511
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:38,545
got the ball rolling on
this, and us, and everything.
512
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,413
[jessie giggles]
513
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,520
It's as if it got
up and walked away.
514
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,822
Like some sort of Jesus deer.
515
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,758
PARK RANGER: Good
morning, folks.
516
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,527
I've been tracking
a tranquilized deer,
517
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:58,398
and my system says he's bunked
right here with you folks.
518
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,299
[tara gasps]
519
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,367
TARA: Oh, my God.
520
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,535
You say you shot it
with a tranquilizer?
521
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,937
Overpopulation
relocation program.
522
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,607
This place is lousy with deer.
523
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,443
Hey, I found this yesterday.
524
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,011
Yeah, miles and
miles from here.
525
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,514
Yeah, an entirely
different part of the park.
526
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:18,551
Over where the Satanists are
having the kegger for Satan.
527
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,653
Yeah, I heard about that.
528
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,888
Sorry to bother you.
529
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:22,989
No problem.
530
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:23,856
Bye.
531
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,026
[everyone laughs]
532
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,461
BEN: Shh.
533
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,397
Shh.
534
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:33,032
Well, if this is life
without kids, it sure as hell
535
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,066
won't be boring.
536
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,968
Maybe we'll survive
after all, huh?
537
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,071
Oh, amen to that.
538
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:39,972
MAN: Woo-hoo!
539
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:44,977
Woo-hoo!
540
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,347
I guess the kegger
is still happening.
541
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,816
Probably just a couple
of hardcore partiers,
542
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,418
and random naked guy.
543
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:54,421
MAN: Woo-hoo!
544
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:57,424
We should go.
545
00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:58,425
Good decision.
546
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,930
[lively music]
547
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,699
Let me guess, you
guys ran into Satanists?
548
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,234
Something like that.
549
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,969
Hey, um, muchacho,
do you happen
550
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:11,638
to have the spare RV key?
551
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:12,772
We've been locked out all night.
552
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,673
Oh, my God.
553
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,007
Mom, are you OK?
554
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,208
I am.
555
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,210
But you can cook
lunch, and dinner.
556
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,111
You should make--
557
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,913
Tofu dogs.
Coming right up.
558
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,715
Stick with grilled cheese.
559
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:23,616
Long story.
560
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,321
So was it a romantic
night after all?
561
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,557
It was the most
romantic night ever.
562
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,359
And a strangely
satisfying morning.
563
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,026
Should we go back for him?
564
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:34,927
After lunch.
565
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,433
Tom?
566
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:41,768
Jessie!
567
00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:45,405
OK, OK, I, I'm sorry
for what I said.
568
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:48,575
You guys work so well together.
569
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:51,177
Oh, come on!
570
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:52,144
I have to pee.
571
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:53,346
[MUSIC - SWEET THING, "KITE
FIGHT"]
572
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:56,349
(SINGING) They say you to
fight through the night.
573
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:59,018
Ooh.
574
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,721
They say you like to
fight, let's go outside.
575
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:02,622
Ooh.
576
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:14,033
Da-da-da-, da-da-da,
da-da-da-, da-da-da,
577
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:17,036
da-da-da, da-da-da,
da-da-da, da-da-da,
578
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:20,072
da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da.
579
00:22:20,122 --> 00:22:24,672
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