All language subtitles for The Wayans Bros S05E08 The High Life 1080p WEB-DL DD2 0 H 264-squalorAVC_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:03,233 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:07,383 Shawn, Shawn, this party is great, man. 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,166 I just got Marissa's autograph. 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,660 Now I'mma go find Brandy and I'mma get hers, too. 5 00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:18,300 Oh, my God. Shawn, oh, my God! You-you know who that is? 6 00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:20,160 - You know who that is? - What? 7 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,100 Shawn, that's Rico Davinci, man. 8 00:00:21,133 --> 00:00:23,366 That's my favorite actor. 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,830 So? Go talk to him, man. 10 00:00:25,116 --> 00:00:27,316 - Stop actin' like a girl. - Alright. 11 00:00:30,116 --> 00:00:32,266 Ric-o-o, you're my friend. 12 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,166 [laughs] 13 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,133 Wassup, man? Yo, Rico, I just wanna tell you, man. 14 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,366 You're one of my favorite actors. I got all your movies. 15 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,266 Even your after-school special you did. 16 00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:44,250 You know, "The Day Coach Touched Me." 17 00:00:44,283 --> 00:00:45,350 You were real good in that, man. 18 00:00:45,383 --> 00:00:47,383 - 'Thanks.' - Believable, like you liked it. 19 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,166 You know, there's nothing like reminiscing with a nobody. 20 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,233 [laughs] 21 00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:54,283 Hey, wait a minute, man, that's the black guy 22 00:00:54,316 --> 00:00:56,283 of "Everybody Loves Everybody." 23 00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:58,266 That's right. That's me. 24 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,830 Marlon Williams as, uh 25 00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:02,250 Lucius. 26 00:01:02,283 --> 00:01:05,500 Let me hook you up, homie. 27 00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:07,116 Hey, man. Hey, I love that show. 28 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,000 Hey, why don't you come with us into the bathroom? 29 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,316 Hey, uh, whoa, Jack, I ain't that big of a fan. 30 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,283 I mean, we're gonna smoke weed. 31 00:01:14,316 --> 00:01:16,116 Hey, but if you ain't down with us, uh 32 00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:17,216 that's your loss. 33 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,000 [laughs] 34 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,660 No, no, wait up, yo! Of course I'm down! 35 00:01:27,266 --> 00:01:29,250 [theme song] 36 00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,166 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 37 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,216 ♪ We're happy and we're singin' and we're colored ♪ 38 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,166 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 39 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,266 (male #1) 'Alright, cut and print.' 40 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,150 'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.' 41 00:01:42,183 --> 00:01:45,166 [theme music] 42 00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:16,330 Mm-hmm. What's up, light skin? 43 00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:17,266 Have you ever swallowed a magnet? 44 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,500 No. Why? 45 00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:20,200 'Cause I'm definitely starting to feel 46 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,283 some attraction. 47 00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:23,283 That is so corny. 48 00:02:23,316 --> 00:02:25,316 [sighs] Where're all the real producers at? 49 00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,333 Oh, uh-uh, you-you're talkin' to one right now. 50 00:02:27,366 --> 00:02:30,233 - I'm a producer. - What have you produced? 51 00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:33,350 Have you ever seen, uh, "Armageddon" 52 00:02:33,383 --> 00:02:35,300 "Jurassic Park" or "Titanic?" 53 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,330 Those are your movies? 54 00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:40,233 They were last night, I rented them. 55 00:02:40,266 --> 00:02:42,100 No, no, no. On the real, on the real, on the real. 56 00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,216 On the real. I'm-I'm a producer. I'm a producer. 57 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:48,830 I'm currently, um, CEO of Knockin' Boots Productions. 58 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,200 Now, check this out. 59 00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:53,100 The character works at Orange Julius during the day 60 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:56,330 by night, he's a rappin' vampire. 61 00:02:57,283 --> 00:02:59,216 The soundtrack will be off the skillet. 62 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,350 [snorts] Don't know anybody who'd wanna be in it. 63 00:03:01,383 --> 00:03:03,116 - But sorry. - No, no, no. 64 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,366 Well, that's too bad, you see, 'cause I have 65 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,100 the perfect young actor for you. 66 00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,500 His name is Marlon Williams. 67 00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:09,250 Wait a minute, I know him, he's-he's the black guy 68 00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:11,660 on "Everybody Loves Everybody," right? 69 00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:12,333 - Yeah. - Hey, listen. 70 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,216 I'm producing the new Steven Bergman film. 71 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,660 And there's a great role in there for a young black actor. 72 00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,133 Now I got a question, does the character die 73 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,166 before or after the credits? 74 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,200 'Cause you know how Hollywood does it, brother. 75 00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,200 Oh, no, no, no. 76 00:03:24,233 --> 00:03:26,000 He's an idealistic young man 77 00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:27,366 who's gotta drop out of school because his brother is killed 78 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,500 in a drive-by. Now, can he handle this? 79 00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:33,000 Oh, oh, oh, definitely. Marlon's very responsible. 80 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,500 He definitely can lay-lay this role out. 81 00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,830 Whoa! Ha ha ha! 82 00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:38,200 Oh-oh-oh, uh.. 83 00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,200 [Marlon laughing] 84 00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:42,660 Hey. 85 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,200 Is that ET? 86 00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,166 Oh, never mind, that's just Tyra Banks. 87 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,830 Hey, look here, man. Um, look here, JJ. 88 00:03:48,116 --> 00:03:49,200 I will put you in a little bit later. 89 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:50,366 - I'll call you later, alright? - Do that. 90 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,383 - In the morning. - Okay, I'll call you. 91 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,333 [indistinct chattering] 92 00:03:55,366 --> 00:03:58,333 [laughs] 93 00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:01,166 What the hell are you doin'? 94 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,000 I'm just chillin' with my new friends. 95 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,183 - We chillin' y'all! - Oh, yeah! 96 00:04:06,216 --> 00:04:09,100 You and your friends smell like weed. 97 00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:11,330 Shawn, I wasn't smokin' that stuff. 98 00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:13,160 I'm just pretendin' so I can hang out with them. 99 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:16,000 M-Marlon, this ain't funny, man. Look, I know you like this guy. 100 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,830 I know you think he's cool. But he's only cool in movies. 101 00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,150 I think he's a idiot in real life. 102 00:04:19,183 --> 00:04:20,350 I'm not touchin' the stuff, look. 103 00:04:20,383 --> 00:04:23,660 Hangin' out with Rico could open up big doors for me, man. 104 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,200 Yeah, but you still gotta have a mind of your own, man. 105 00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:26,300 You can't go followin' this guy around 106 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,500 like your some kind of puppy. 107 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:29,316 Come on, man. I ain't gonna let nobody play me. 108 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:32,183 - Alright, Marlon, let's go. - Let's go. 109 00:04:32,216 --> 00:04:33,300 [instrumental music] 110 00:04:37,316 --> 00:04:38,366 What the dilly, yo? 111 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,333 [laughs] 112 00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:42,333 - 'Wassup, man?' - So did you have fun? 113 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,133 Oh, man, we had a ball. 114 00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:45,316 We went down to the Waffle House 115 00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,333 wound up closin' the place down. 116 00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:51,133 Hey, did you know they serve [indistinct] buckwheat waffles? 117 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,233 And buckwheat don't see a dime. 118 00:04:55,216 --> 00:04:58,200 Well, if you're not too busy suckin' up to your new friends 119 00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,383 I set up an audition for you to go in 120 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,830 on that new Steven Bergman movie. 121 00:05:02,116 --> 00:05:05,000 You got me an audition with Steven Bergman? 122 00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:06,250 You the man, Shawn. You are the man. 123 00:05:06,283 --> 00:05:08,216 But it wasn't a easy audition to set up, okay? 124 00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:11,160 You almost blew it by makin' an ass out of yourself with Rico. 125 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,233 Hey, hey, hey. Don't blame Rico, okay? 126 00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:15,350 I can make a ass out of myself by myself. 127 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,233 Besides, man, Rico says that's how actors are. 128 00:05:19,266 --> 00:05:20,316 They act wild and crazy. 129 00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,116 Marlon, what's wrong with you, man? 130 00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:24,500 Do you wanna be one of these people who ruin their lives 131 00:05:24,830 --> 00:05:26,160 and end up livin' in a crack house? 132 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,116 Does it have cable? 133 00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:29,500 [laughs] 134 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,316 - Yeah. - It's not funny. 135 00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,830 That ain't funny, muppet face. 136 00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:34,316 [laughs] 137 00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,500 Come on, man, I told you, man. 138 00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:38,183 I-I was just pretendin' to smoke, okay? 139 00:05:38,216 --> 00:05:39,233 I didn't really smoke the stuff. 140 00:05:39,266 --> 00:05:40,316 Yeah, that's how it starts off 141 00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:42,160 with you just pretendin'. 142 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,233 Next thing you know you're directin' traffic 143 00:05:43,266 --> 00:05:46,283 butt-naked with a pair of flip-flops on. 144 00:05:46,316 --> 00:05:49,100 Sh-Shawn, please, man, come on, get off my back. 145 00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:51,330 I told you, I'm not smokin' no weed! 146 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:53,100 - I was just pretendin'! - Marlon. 147 00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:59,660 I thought you was just pretendin' 148 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:02,000 to smoke weed, Marlon. What's this? 149 00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:03,160 Oh, that's the, uh 150 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,166 new aerodynamic, uh, cotton swab. 151 00:06:06,383 --> 00:06:09,200 Whoo! Boy, my ears was dirty. 152 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,133 Marlon, why you tryin' to play me? 153 00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:14,216 I'm not jokin' around. What's-what.. 154 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,116 - You think I'm stupid? - No, uh, look, Shawn. 155 00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:17,383 Alright, look, I took it, man, I just took it 156 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,116 'cause I didn't want them to think I was soft, man. 157 00:06:20,150 --> 00:06:22,183 Besides, it's just weed, you act like it's crack! 158 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,330 God! It's harmless. 159 00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:26,830 The Indians used to smoke it. 160 00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,183 Yeah, and look what happened to them. 161 00:06:29,216 --> 00:06:31,233 They wound up sellin' Manhattan for $24 dollars 162 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,250 and a beef jerky. 163 00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,660 Alright, so look at, look at rappers. 164 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,333 Some of them smoke and they go triple and double-platinum. 165 00:06:37,366 --> 00:06:39,500 Yeah, and you ever hear 166 00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:40,383 how ignorant they sound in interviews? 167 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,250 That weed fried their brain up so much 168 00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:44,000 they can't even articulate! 169 00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:47,233 Yo, I think, like, rap is like the foun.. 170 00:06:47,266 --> 00:06:49,350 ...you know, like the foun.. 171 00:06:49,383 --> 00:06:52,200 ...you know, like the bottom part. 172 00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:54,350 Uh, music and I think that the kids today 173 00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:56,133 need some kind of guide 174 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,500 you know, they, like, need guide 175 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,150 somebody to, like, push them like that. 176 00:07:01,183 --> 00:07:03,333 Alright, smarty-pants, what about, what about doctors, huh? 177 00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:05,133 They prescribe it to their patients. 178 00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:06,283 - They use it. - Yeah. 179 00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:08,200 But then other people take advantage of it. 180 00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:09,266 Sitting around goin'.. 181 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,330 [puffs] "Yo, man, this weed 182 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:12,250 sure did clean up this dandruff." 183 00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:14,830 [puffs] 184 00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:18,000 Look, Marlon, you got through eight years 185 00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:19,160 of high school without this. 186 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,660 Hey, it was only six, okay? 187 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,000 I ain't stupid. 188 00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:25,350 You know what, whatever the amount was, okay 189 00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:27,133 you got through high school without it. 190 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:29,233 - Why are you gonna do it now? - Shawn. 191 00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:31,216 I didn't have time to do it in high school. 192 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,500 I was asleep. 193 00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:35,183 - You know what, Marlon? - Yo. 194 00:07:35,216 --> 00:07:36,366 - I don't want you hangin' out-- - What, man? 195 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,250 - Hey, man, don't what me. - I'm sayin', man. 196 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,500 Alright, I don't want you hangin' out 197 00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:41,830 with this kid Rico no more. 198 00:07:41,116 --> 00:07:42,150 Come on, man, I've grown, son. 199 00:07:42,183 --> 00:07:43,316 You can't tell me what to do. 200 00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:45,150 Leave me alone! You, why you always in my business? 201 00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:47,166 Marlon, this ain't got nothin' to do with business 202 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,350 a'ight? 203 00:07:48,383 --> 00:07:51,500 Look, yo, kid, you're my baby brother, right? 204 00:07:51,830 --> 00:07:53,250 I'm just tryin' to look out for you. 205 00:07:53,283 --> 00:07:55,116 Now, I'm gonna flush this down the toilet. 206 00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,266 What, you don't trust me to do it? 207 00:07:57,300 --> 00:08:00,150 Marlon, when was the last time you flushed the toilet? 208 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,660 Good point, you better do it. 209 00:08:06,316 --> 00:08:08,316 Hey, ugh! Man! Ah! 210 00:08:10,183 --> 00:08:12,266 You go flush that! 211 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,660 What the.. What's wrong with you, man? 212 00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:19,250 Now wait a minute, you're not sayin' that Marlon 213 00:08:19,283 --> 00:08:22,200 smoked those tweeds himself, do we? 214 00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:24,316 I, I mean, I don't know, pop, I mean he says he's not 215 00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:26,383 but I wish there was a way for me to figure out if he was. 216 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,183 Uh, here he comes. L-listen, leave it to me. 217 00:08:29,216 --> 00:08:31,366 I took a three-day intensive course 218 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,000 how to spot drug users. 219 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:37,133 So now he's gonna be defensive, we have to be very subtle. 220 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,150 [mumbling] 221 00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,300 Hey, y'all. 222 00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:41,330 - Hey, Marlon? - Hm? 223 00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:42,316 You high? 224 00:08:45,166 --> 00:08:47,366 Wow, Dee, that was about as subtle as your breast. 225 00:08:49,316 --> 00:08:52,830 Hm, hm, hm. 226 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,300 What is this? I step out for ten minutes to get a script 227 00:08:56,333 --> 00:08:58,233 I come back, you tell everybody I'm high? 228 00:08:58,266 --> 00:09:00,300 Look, relax, okay? I didn't tell everybody. 229 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,100 I just told, Dee. You could trust her. 230 00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,316 - She's not gonna say nothin'. - Yeah. 231 00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:06,200 He is high. Look at him. 232 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,233 You know what? I'm gonna go grab some papers on my way out. 233 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,100 Papers? What do you need papers for? What kinda paper? 234 00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:17,133 Newspaper, okay? Not those kind of papers. 235 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:18,233 (Pops) Marlon, Marlon, come here, son. 236 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,133 - Come here, son. - What, man! 237 00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:23,200 I don't think you realize how serious a matter this is. 238 00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,333 Let me tell you a story. 239 00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:27,283 I once knew a young surgeon. 240 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:30,100 He was at the top of his class in his medical school. 241 00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,200 Then he started messing with drugs. 242 00:09:32,233 --> 00:09:34,316 Next thing you knew, his nerve was so bad 243 00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:37,316 his hands started shakin'. He couldn't operate. 244 00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,166 Lost his license. 245 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,166 And that's what ruined his career. 246 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,150 - Well, what happened to him? - He's working at Supercuts. 247 00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:48,333 Hold on, let me, let me try for a minute. 248 00:09:48,366 --> 00:09:50,116 Let me try and break it down for you. 249 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,333 Look, Marlon, check this out. 250 00:09:51,366 --> 00:09:54,233 Marlon, look. This is your brain. 251 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,283 I'mma get a smaller egg. 252 00:09:59,283 --> 00:10:02,200 Marlon...this is your brain. 253 00:10:04,366 --> 00:10:07,000 Now, this is your brain.. 254 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:12,100 You hardheaded, boy. 255 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:16,330 This is your brain on drugs. 256 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:19,160 And this is your brain with some hot sauce.. 257 00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,366 ...and some chopped ham. 258 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,333 Pop, I'm tryin' to teach him a lesson, man! 259 00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:26,830 And I'm tryin' to run a business. 260 00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:28,216 I'm not gonna waste an egg on that fool. 261 00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,000 [instrumental music] 262 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:40,830 Yo, Darius, you heard those gunshots? 263 00:10:41,316 --> 00:10:42,383 Darius? 264 00:10:44,233 --> 00:10:46,100 Darius? 265 00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:48,316 Oh, my God! They shot Darius! 266 00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,233 That's it, that's it, if I could just 267 00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:52,233 nail it like that for the audition. 268 00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:56,000 Oh, my God, they shot Darius! 269 00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:59,300 - Hey, Marlon, my man. - Oh, what the dilly, yo? 270 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:02,383 Right, right, cool. Whatcha doing up here, man? 271 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,000 Ah, just taking a meeting on some new flick. 272 00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,300 Oh, a meeting? So you big time, big time, y'all take meetings. 273 00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,366 I gotta audition. 274 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,183 Either that or the castin' couch. 275 00:11:11,216 --> 00:11:13,216 [laughs] 276 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:17,000 Ooh! Anyway, I'm goin' in for Steven Bergman. 277 00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,333 Oh, yeah. You know, I turned that piece of crap down. 278 00:11:19,366 --> 00:11:22,300 Hey, but for you that'll be good. Really, yeah. 279 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:26,000 Oh. Well, I finally think I'll nail this character. 280 00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:27,250 I'm just nervous though, man. 281 00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:30,216 I never read for somebody like Steven's caliber before. 282 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:33,183 You'll be alright, man, just do whatever you do to relax. 283 00:11:33,216 --> 00:11:36,150 I would, but I left my booty magazines at home. 284 00:11:36,183 --> 00:11:37,300 [scoffs] 285 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:40,266 Well, then, uh, do what I do. 286 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,100 Smoke a joint, man. 287 00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:44,150 It'll take that edge right off. 288 00:11:44,183 --> 00:11:47,233 Uh, I-I don't, I don't know about that, man, I.. 289 00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:50,183 - Won't that mess up my actin'? - No, man! 290 00:11:50,216 --> 00:11:52,183 That'll take you to the next level, bro. 291 00:11:52,216 --> 00:11:54,250 You know, I was high when I got my first job? 292 00:11:54,283 --> 00:11:56,166 Oh, yeah, that's right! 293 00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,150 You played the stoned guy in "Getting Stoned." 294 00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:03,283 Man, and ever since then I work strictly high. 295 00:12:03,316 --> 00:12:06,216 You see, it makes you more creative, bro. 296 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,350 You know, it frees your mind. 297 00:12:07,383 --> 00:12:11,000 You lose all inhibitions. 298 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:14,000 No wonder why Robert Downey Jr. keeps workin'. 299 00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:18,150 So, uh...what happened to that joint I gave you? 300 00:12:18,183 --> 00:12:21,383 Tsk. My brother put it in the toilet. 301 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,333 Well, uh, lucky for you.. 302 00:12:24,366 --> 00:12:26,183 ...I've got an extra one. 303 00:12:26,216 --> 00:12:29,133 Well, you're just like the cheeba man, huh? 304 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,830 Had all kind of herb endorsement. 305 00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:33,660 Weed is.. 306 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,266 Look, bro. Smoke that, okay? 307 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:38,150 And you will blow them away at that audition. 308 00:12:38,183 --> 00:12:39,300 [chuckles] 309 00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,350 - Catch you later. - Yup. 310 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,216 [instrumental music] 311 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,183 [knock on door] 312 00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,150 Mr. Williams? 313 00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:05,300 [laughs] Oh! What's the deal, baby? 314 00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:07,333 How you feelin'? Word up, let's take the scene. 315 00:13:07,366 --> 00:13:10,233 You know what I'm sayin'? Word up, word up. 316 00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:13,283 Like a Ken doll, word up, word up. 317 00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:14,366 Whoa! Mine don't do that. 318 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,333 [laughs] 319 00:13:16,366 --> 00:13:19,300 Hi, I'm JJ, the producer and this is of, uh, course 320 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,500 this is Steven Bergman. 321 00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:23,500 [Marlon laughing] Oh! 322 00:13:23,830 --> 00:13:25,830 I just wanna thank the Academy. 323 00:13:25,116 --> 00:13:27,350 Uh, first and foremost I'd like to thank the man upstairs. 324 00:13:27,383 --> 00:13:30,660 L. Ron Hubbard, thank you. 325 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,233 [banging] 326 00:13:32,266 --> 00:13:35,500 Man, I won, I won! 327 00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:36,383 I won and you didn't. 328 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,250 I won, I won, I won and you didn't. 329 00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,300 Na, na, prff. 330 00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:43,333 [laughs] 331 00:13:43,366 --> 00:13:46,116 Right, uh, I was thinking how about if we just do the scene. 332 00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:47,300 Oh, let me.. Who's that? 333 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:49,116 Oh, well, this is, uh, this is our director 334 00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:50,216 uh, Steven Bergman. 335 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,366 Obviously, this is, this is, Marlon. 336 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,333 Shh! Hiya. 337 00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:57,383 Nice to meet you, brother. 338 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,000 Yo, you got a big head. 339 00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:01,250 [laughs] 340 00:14:01,283 --> 00:14:05,166 You got a big head. Oh, I'm sorry. 341 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,283 He-he's the black guy from "Everybody Loves Everybody." 342 00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:10,166 Hey, where you, where you get them liquor store shades? 343 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,383 You got them, them cop shades. 344 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,200 These look like.. 345 00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,166 ...tinted windows, they're so big. 346 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,830 Vroom. Say, girl, what's your number? 347 00:14:17,116 --> 00:14:19,383 [laughs] 348 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,250 Yo, when I was little I used to wanna sing, yo. 349 00:14:22,283 --> 00:14:24,300 Oh, y'all got the mike, too, right here? 350 00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,660 Let me try that. 351 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,100 Uh, careful, it's-- 352 00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,330 ♪ Ooh yeah ♪ 353 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,316 ♪ Oo-oo-o-ooh ♪ 354 00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:33,183 ♪ Oo-oo-o-ooh ♪ 355 00:14:33,216 --> 00:14:39,200 ♪ Ha ha-a-a ♪♪ 356 00:14:39,233 --> 00:14:41,000 Girl, huh 357 00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:43,830 I hate when you believe in me sometime. 358 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,333 You hurt my feelings. 359 00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:47,000 But I seen you in the room with that other brother. 360 00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:50,216 That's why I'mma get your sister instead. You ain't cute. 361 00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,133 [laughs] 362 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:53,300 Whoa, I'm skiin'! 363 00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:55,216 [grunts] I'm skiing. 364 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:58,830 There comes a tree. There comes another tree. 365 00:14:58,116 --> 00:15:00,333 There goes the tree. There goes the bridge. 366 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,330 [snorts] 367 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,500 [laughs] Ain't no brother don't ski. 368 00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,316 White guys do everything. Yeah, I'll be snow surfin'. 369 00:15:08,350 --> 00:15:12,830 Whoa! Wow! Everybody's going surfin', dude! 370 00:15:12,116 --> 00:15:14,333 [shouting] 371 00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:16,116 [gibberish] 372 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:19,000 Oh, no! Here comes a shark! Cool! 373 00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:21,133 [screams] 374 00:15:22,266 --> 00:15:25,160 How come there ain't no brother in "Jaws?" 375 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,283 Do you know why? Brothers don't get in the water. 376 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:27,316 Make us ashy. 377 00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,830 [laughs] 378 00:15:32,316 --> 00:15:34,660 Yo. 379 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,200 Yo, why she lookin' at me like that, yo? 380 00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,266 I mean.. 381 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,300 Yo, why she lookin' at me? 382 00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:42,266 Yo, can you tell her.. 383 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,830 She's still lookin' at me, yo. 384 00:15:44,116 --> 00:15:45,300 Yo, take that down off the wall. 385 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,150 - Get her off of the wall! - Okay, okay, alright. 386 00:15:48,183 --> 00:15:51,133 Yo, get her off the wall, man, please! Please, please. 387 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,000 (JJ) 'Okay, it's, uh, it's cool. We got it.' 388 00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:56,830 When I say bang, you get shot and die, okay? 389 00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:57,216 Alright. 390 00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,183 B-bang, shot. 391 00:15:59,216 --> 00:16:01,200 I got nothin' to drink. My mouth is dry. 392 00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,233 Uh, we-we-we'll get you some water in here. 393 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:06,233 Yeah. Uh, Jeannie, bring in some water! 394 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:09,316 Alright, so here, why don't you do this? 395 00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:13,830 Jeannie, bring your sister in, so we can all get down. 396 00:16:13,116 --> 00:16:15,660 [laughs] 397 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,116 - Anytime. - Alright, anytime. 398 00:16:20,316 --> 00:16:22,116 What're we doing? 399 00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:24,183 - Darius. - Darius, right. 400 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:25,283 Alright, you guys scream action. 401 00:16:25,316 --> 00:16:26,383 - Alright. - Alright. 402 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,133 Action. 403 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,160 - What happened? - Okay, you weren't ready. 404 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,250 - Okay. - Do one, two, three. 405 00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:36,160 - Right. - Five, four, three. 406 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:37,830 Right, okay, and then do action. 407 00:16:37,116 --> 00:16:40,160 Five, four, three, two-- 408 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,330 One. 409 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:45,500 [indistinct singing] 410 00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:50,100 [laughs] 411 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,266 Alright. 412 00:16:54,183 --> 00:16:56,330 Action! 413 00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:57,266 Oh, my God, Darius! 414 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,300 Darius. 415 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,660 Darius.. 416 00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,183 [sobbing] Don't die, Darius. 417 00:17:02,216 --> 00:17:04,183 Don't die, Darius. 418 00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:06,330 Don't die, Darius, don't die. 419 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:07,216 ♪ Don't die Darius don't die ♪ 420 00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:09,330 ♪ Don't die Darius don't die huh ♪ 421 00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:10,233 ♪ Don't die Darius don't die hey ♪ 422 00:17:10,266 --> 00:17:12,183 ♪ Don't die Darius don't die huh ♪ 423 00:17:12,216 --> 00:17:13,383 ♪ Oh Darius don't die ha ♪ 424 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,366 ♪ Don't die Darius don't die Ha ha ho ♪ 425 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,166 ♪ Don't die Darius don't die ♪ 426 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,266 ♪ Don't die Darius don't die ♪♪ 427 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,383 Alright...bang. 428 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,383 [singing continues] 429 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,100 (JJ) 'Bang.' 430 00:17:27,150 --> 00:17:28,366 Bang! 431 00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:31,200 You hit me. 432 00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:32,366 But you missed my vital organs, see. 433 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,100 - I shifted them. - No. 434 00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,233 I shifted them. They're over here now. 435 00:17:35,266 --> 00:17:36,233 I put 'em in my leg. 436 00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:37,383 All the vital organs are here. 437 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,116 I'm comin' after you like the Terminator. 438 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,266 Alright, you.. 439 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,183 [gibberish] 440 00:17:43,216 --> 00:17:45,150 Mr. Williams.. 441 00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:46,350 Now I turn into liquid. 442 00:17:46,383 --> 00:17:49,166 Look at it, I'm liquid. 443 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,133 [groans] 444 00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:53,233 And now I'm puttin' it all together again. 445 00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:54,383 [groans] 446 00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,250 And I come back. And I feel Diesel. 447 00:17:58,283 --> 00:18:01,183 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - And I'm the Terminator. 448 00:18:01,216 --> 00:18:03,316 Yeah! Get off.. 449 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:06,133 You see that? That was ill, right? 450 00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:09,330 Y'all should make this science fiction, yo, right? 451 00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:10,366 Please don't make me call security. 452 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,216 What happened? How did I do? 453 00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:15,383 Well, y'all didn't even see me die yet. 454 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,000 I think we just did. 455 00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:22,200 Oh, yeah, that's the writer talk. 456 00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:24,500 Yo, hang on, there. 457 00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:26,116 Alright, hey, you know where I can get a fried baloney sandwich 458 00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:28,116 with, like, some, some peas and carrots on it 459 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:31,333 and, like, some caramel sauce and liquorice with it? 460 00:18:31,366 --> 00:18:34,000 No? 461 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:35,166 You mind if I take them jelly beans, yo? 462 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,133 - Take them. - I just want a couple. 463 00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:38,383 Yeah. 464 00:18:42,283 --> 00:18:44,166 Yo, I'll see y'all later, alright? 465 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,183 'Yo.' 466 00:18:50,266 --> 00:18:52,266 It's a shame what drugs do to a good actor. 467 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:55,233 First we got to fire that pothead Rico and now this. 468 00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,660 (Shawn) 'Look, uh, if you just give him another shot.' 469 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,000 I'm sure, look, I'm-I'm-- 470 00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:03,830 Hello? 471 00:19:03,116 --> 00:19:05,500 - Hello? - Whoo, Shawn! 472 00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,150 I just ripped this audition, kid. 473 00:19:07,183 --> 00:19:10,660 I was loose, I was confident, I was creative. 474 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,183 I'm tellin' you, they're probably talkin' about 475 00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:12,350 castin' me right now. 476 00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:15,283 Yeah, for the Rick James story. 477 00:19:15,316 --> 00:19:17,350 I just got off the phone with the producer, Marlon. 478 00:19:17,383 --> 00:19:19,300 You didn't get the part. 479 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:21,350 Why? 'Cause I'm black? 480 00:19:21,383 --> 00:19:23,150 Where's Al Sharpton? We're gonna march. 481 00:19:23,183 --> 00:19:25,350 Yeah, well, why don't you march to the Betty Ford Center 482 00:19:25,383 --> 00:19:27,500 okay? 483 00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,300 You was high. 484 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,830 What are you talkin' about? 485 00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:33,160 I wasn't high. What makes you say that? 486 00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:34,366 'Cause you're sittin' there eating a gallon of jelly beans 487 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,266 and you smell like Willie Nelson's beard. 488 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,216 I can't believe you, Marlon, man, how could you blow 489 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:42,116 the biggest opportunity of your career by getting high? 490 00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:44,183 It calms me. That's why I smoke, Shawn! 491 00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:45,333 Yeah, I-I was nervous, man. 492 00:19:45,366 --> 00:19:47,366 It just gave me a little extra confidence. 493 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,150 Marlon, don't you see that's false? 494 00:19:50,183 --> 00:19:52,150 Weed gives you a false sense of security, man. 495 00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:53,366 And then when you come down off the high 496 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,350 you're worse off than you were when you smoked it. 497 00:19:56,383 --> 00:19:58,316 Now, not only did you blow your part 498 00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:02,160 but you have a bad reputation just like your boy Rico. 499 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,166 What you talkin' about Rico? Rico got it made. 500 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,330 No, he doesn't. I talked to JJ. 501 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,160 Rico can't even get an actin' job because he's always high. 502 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,830 As a matter of fact, he lost his job 503 00:20:11,116 --> 00:20:14,133 that he was gonna get in the sequel to "Getting Stoned." 504 00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:17,330 He's not gonna be in "Getting Stoneder?" 505 00:20:18,316 --> 00:20:21,366 - This ain't no joke, Marlon. - I know, man. 506 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,116 I don't know what I was thinkin', man. 507 00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:25,366 Honestly, it doesn't even feel good. 508 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,500 I mean, it's-it's like all hype. 509 00:20:29,830 --> 00:20:31,500 I don't know, man. 510 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,100 For the first time in my life, I.. 511 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:35,200 ...I actually felt stupid. 512 00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,160 Good. 513 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,266 'Cause you were. 514 00:20:40,216 --> 00:20:42,233 Next time you gonna listen to me? 515 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,333 Ain't gonna be no next time. 516 00:20:45,366 --> 00:20:48,266 I ain't smokin' that stuff no more. 517 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,383 That's what I wanted to hear, kid. 518 00:20:57,330 --> 00:20:58,383 (Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese." 37917

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