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1
00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:03,233
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:07,383
Shawn, Shawn,
this party is great, man.
3
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,166
I just got
Marissa's autograph.
4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,660
Now I'mma go find Brandy
and I'mma get hers, too.
5
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:18,300
Oh, my God. Shawn, oh, my God!
You-you know who that is?
6
00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:20,160
- You know who that is?
- What?
7
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,100
Shawn, that's Rico Davinci, man.
8
00:00:21,133 --> 00:00:23,366
That's my favorite actor.
9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,830
So? Go talk to him, man.
10
00:00:25,116 --> 00:00:27,316
- Stop actin' like a girl.
- Alright.
11
00:00:30,116 --> 00:00:32,266
Ric-o-o, you're my friend.
12
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,166
[laughs]
13
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,133
Wassup, man? Yo, Rico,
I just wanna tell you, man.
14
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,366
You're one of my favorite
actors. I got all your
movies.
15
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,266
Even your after-school
special
you did.
16
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:44,250
You know,
"The Day Coach Touched Me."
17
00:00:44,283 --> 00:00:45,350
You were real good in that, man.
18
00:00:45,383 --> 00:00:47,383
- 'Thanks.'
- Believable, like you liked
it.
19
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,166
You know, there's nothing like
reminiscing with a nobody.
20
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,233
[laughs]
21
00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:54,283
Hey, wait a minute, man,
that's the black guy
22
00:00:54,316 --> 00:00:56,283
of "Everybody Loves Everybody."
23
00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:58,266
That's right. That's me.
24
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,830
Marlon Williams as, uh
25
00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:02,250
Lucius.
26
00:01:02,283 --> 00:01:05,500
Let me hook you up, homie.
27
00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:07,116
Hey, man.
Hey, I love that show.
28
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,000
Hey, why don't you come with us
into the bathroom?
29
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,316
Hey, uh, whoa, Jack,
I ain't that big of a
fan.
30
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,283
I mean,
we're gonna smoke weed.
31
00:01:14,316 --> 00:01:16,116
Hey, but if you ain't
down with us, uh
32
00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:17,216
that's your loss.
33
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,000
[laughs]
34
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,660
No, no, wait up, yo!
Of course I'm down!
35
00:01:27,266 --> 00:01:29,250
[theme song]
36
00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,166
♪ We're brothers ♪
37
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,216
♪ We're happy and we're
singin'
and we're colored ♪
38
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,166
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
39
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,266
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'
40
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,150
'Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite.'
41
00:01:42,183 --> 00:01:45,166
[theme music]
42
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:16,330
Mm-hmm. What's up, light skin?
43
00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:17,266
Have you ever swallowed
a magnet?
44
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,500
No. Why?
45
00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:20,200
'Cause I'm
definitely
starting to feel
46
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,283
some attraction.
47
00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:23,283
That is so corny.
48
00:02:23,316 --> 00:02:25,316
[sighs]
Where're all
the real producers at?
49
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,333
Oh, uh-uh, you-you're
talkin'
to one right now.
50
00:02:27,366 --> 00:02:30,233
- I'm a producer.
- What have you produced?
51
00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:33,350
Have you ever seen,
uh, "Armageddon"
52
00:02:33,383 --> 00:02:35,300
"Jurassic Park" or "Titanic?"
53
00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,330
Those are your movies?
54
00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:40,233
They were last
night,
I rented them.
55
00:02:40,266 --> 00:02:42,100
No, no, no. On the real,
on the real, on the real.
56
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,216
On the real. I'm-I'm a
producer.
I'm a producer.
57
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:48,830
I'm currently, um, CEO
of Knockin' Boots
Productions.
58
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,200
Now, check this out.
59
00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:53,100
The character works at
Orange Julius during the day
60
00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:56,330
by night,
he's a rappin' vampire.
61
00:02:57,283 --> 00:02:59,216
The soundtrack
will be off the skillet.
62
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,350
[snorts]
Don't know anybody
who'd wanna be in
it.
63
00:03:01,383 --> 00:03:03,116
- But sorry.
- No, no, no.
64
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,366
Well, that's too bad,
you see, 'cause I have
65
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,100
the perfect young actor for you.
66
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:08,500
His name is Marlon Williams.
67
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:09,250
Wait a minute, I know him,
he's-he's the black guy
68
00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:11,660
on "Everybody Loves
Everybody," right?
69
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:12,333
- Yeah.
- Hey, listen.
70
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,216
I'm producing
the new Steven Bergman film.
71
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,660
And there's a great role in
there for a young black actor.
72
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,133
Now I got a question,
does the character die
73
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,166
before or after the credits?
74
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,200
'Cause you know
how Hollywood does it,
brother.
75
00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,200
Oh, no, no, no.
76
00:03:24,233 --> 00:03:26,000
He's an idealistic young man
77
00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:27,366
who's gotta drop out of school
because his brother is killed
78
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,500
in a drive-by.
Now, can he handle this?
79
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:33,000
Oh, oh, oh, definitely.
Marlon's very
responsible.
80
00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:35,500
He definitely can
lay-lay this role
out.
81
00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,830
Whoa! Ha ha ha!
82
00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:38,200
Oh-oh-oh, uh..
83
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,200
[Marlon laughing]
84
00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:42,660
Hey.
85
00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,200
Is that ET?
86
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,166
Oh, never mind,
that's just Tyra
Banks.
87
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,830
Hey, look here,
man.
Um, look here, JJ.
88
00:03:48,116 --> 00:03:49,200
I will put you in
a little bit later.
89
00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:50,366
- I'll call you later,
alright?
- Do that.
90
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,383
- In the morning.
- Okay, I'll call you.
91
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,333
[indistinct chattering]
92
00:03:55,366 --> 00:03:58,333
[laughs]
93
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:01,166
What the hell are you doin'?
94
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,000
I'm just chillin'
with my new friends.
95
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,183
- We chillin' y'all!
- Oh, yeah!
96
00:04:06,216 --> 00:04:09,100
You and your
friends
smell like weed.
97
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:11,330
Shawn, I wasn't
smokin' that stuff.
98
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:13,160
I'm just pretendin'
so I can hang out with them.
99
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:16,000
M-Marlon, this ain't funny, man.
Look, I know you like this guy.
100
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,830
I know you think he's
cool.
But he's only cool in
movies.
101
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,150
I think he's a
idiot
in real life.
102
00:04:19,183 --> 00:04:20,350
I'm not touchin'
the stuff, look.
103
00:04:20,383 --> 00:04:23,660
Hangin' out with Rico could
open up big doors for me, man.
104
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,200
Yeah, but you still gotta
have a mind of your own,
man.
105
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:26,300
You can't go
followin'
this guy around
106
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,500
like your some kind of puppy.
107
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:29,316
Come on, man. I ain't gonna
let nobody play me.
108
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:32,183
- Alright, Marlon, let's
go.
- Let's go.
109
00:04:32,216 --> 00:04:33,300
[instrumental music]
110
00:04:37,316 --> 00:04:38,366
What the dilly, yo?
111
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,333
[laughs]
112
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:42,333
- 'Wassup, man?'
- So did you have fun?
113
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,133
Oh, man, we had a ball.
114
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:45,316
We went down
to the Waffle House
115
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,333
wound up closin' the place down.
116
00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:51,133
Hey, did you know they serve
[indistinct] buckwheat
waffles?
117
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,233
And buckwheat
don't see a dime.
118
00:04:55,216 --> 00:04:58,200
Well, if you're not too busy
suckin' up to your new
friends
119
00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,383
I set up an audition
for you to go in
120
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,830
on that
new Steven Bergman movie.
121
00:05:02,116 --> 00:05:05,000
You got me an audition
with Steven Bergman?
122
00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:06,250
You the man, Shawn.
You are the man.
123
00:05:06,283 --> 00:05:08,216
But it wasn't a easy
audition
to set up, okay?
124
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:11,160
You almost blew it by makin' an
ass out of yourself with Rico.
125
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,233
Hey, hey, hey.
Don't blame Rico, okay?
126
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:15,350
I can make a ass
out of myself by myself.
127
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,233
Besides, man, Rico says
that's how actors are.
128
00:05:19,266 --> 00:05:20,316
They act wild and crazy.
129
00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,116
Marlon, what's wrong
with you, man?
130
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:24,500
Do you wanna be one of these
people who ruin their lives
131
00:05:24,830 --> 00:05:26,160
and end up livin'
in a crack house?
132
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,116
Does it have cable?
133
00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:29,500
[laughs]
134
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,316
- Yeah.
- It's not funny.
135
00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,830
That ain't funny, muppet face.
136
00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:34,316
[laughs]
137
00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,500
Come on, man,
I told you,
man.
138
00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:38,183
I-I was just
pretendin'
to smoke, okay?
139
00:05:38,216 --> 00:05:39,233
I didn't really smoke the stuff.
140
00:05:39,266 --> 00:05:40,316
Yeah, that's how it starts off
141
00:05:40,350 --> 00:05:42,160
with you just pretendin'.
142
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,233
Next thing you know
you're directin' traffic
143
00:05:43,266 --> 00:05:46,283
butt-naked
with a pair of flip-flops on.
144
00:05:46,316 --> 00:05:49,100
Sh-Shawn, please, man,
come on, get off my
back.
145
00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:51,330
I told you,
I'm not smokin' no
weed!
146
00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:53,100
- I was just pretendin'!
- Marlon.
147
00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:59,660
I thought
you was just
pretendin'
148
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:02,000
to smoke weed, Marlon.
What's this?
149
00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:03,160
Oh, that's the, uh
150
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,166
new aerodynamic,
uh, cotton swab.
151
00:06:06,383 --> 00:06:09,200
Whoo! Boy, my ears was dirty.
152
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,133
Marlon, why you
tryin'
to play me?
153
00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:14,216
I'm not jokin'
around.
What's-what..
154
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,116
- You think I'm stupid?
- No, uh, look, Shawn.
155
00:06:16,150 --> 00:06:17,383
Alright, look, I took it, man,
I just took it
156
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,116
'cause I didn't want them
to think I was soft, man.
157
00:06:20,150 --> 00:06:22,183
Besides, it's just weed,
you act like it's crack!
158
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,330
God! It's harmless.
159
00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:26,830
The Indians used to smoke it.
160
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,183
Yeah, and look
what happened to them.
161
00:06:29,216 --> 00:06:31,233
They wound up sellin' Manhattan
for $24 dollars
162
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,250
and a beef jerky.
163
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,660
Alright, so look at,
look at rappers.
164
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,333
Some of them smoke and they go
triple and double-platinum.
165
00:06:37,366 --> 00:06:39,500
Yeah, and you ever hear
166
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:40,383
how ignorant they
sound
in interviews?
167
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,250
That weed fried
their brain up so
much
168
00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:44,000
they can't even articulate!
169
00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:47,233
Yo, I think, like,
rap is like the foun..
170
00:06:47,266 --> 00:06:49,350
...you know, like the foun..
171
00:06:49,383 --> 00:06:52,200
...you know,
like the bottom part.
172
00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:54,350
Uh, music and I think
that the kids today
173
00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:56,133
need some kind of guide
174
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,500
you know, they, like, need guide
175
00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,150
somebody to, like,
push them like that.
176
00:07:01,183 --> 00:07:03,333
Alright, smarty-pants, what
about, what about doctors, huh?
177
00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:05,133
They prescribe it
to their patients.
178
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:06,283
- They use it.
- Yeah.
179
00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:08,200
But then other people
take advantage of it.
180
00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:09,266
Sitting around goin'..
181
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,330
[puffs]
"Yo, man, this weed
182
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:12,250
sure did clean up
this dandruff."
183
00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:14,830
[puffs]
184
00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:18,000
Look, Marlon,
you got through eight years
185
00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:19,160
of high school without this.
186
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,660
Hey, it was only six, okay?
187
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,000
I ain't stupid.
188
00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:25,350
You know what, whatever
the amount was, okay
189
00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:27,133
you got through high school
without it.
190
00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:29,233
- Why are you gonna do it now?
- Shawn.
191
00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:31,216
I didn't have time
to do it in high school.
192
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,500
I was asleep.
193
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:35,183
- You know what, Marlon?
- Yo.
194
00:07:35,216 --> 00:07:36,366
- I don't want you hangin'
out--
- What, man?
195
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,250
- Hey, man, don't what me.
- I'm sayin', man.
196
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,500
Alright, I don't want
you
hangin' out
197
00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:41,830
with this kid Rico no more.
198
00:07:41,116 --> 00:07:42,150
Come on, man, I've grown, son.
199
00:07:42,183 --> 00:07:43,316
You can't tell me what to do.
200
00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:45,150
Leave me alone! You, why
you always in my business?
201
00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:47,166
Marlon, this ain't got
nothin' to do with
business
202
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,350
a'ight?
203
00:07:48,383 --> 00:07:51,500
Look, yo, kid,
you're my baby brother,
right?
204
00:07:51,830 --> 00:07:53,250
I'm just tryin'
to look out for
you.
205
00:07:53,283 --> 00:07:55,116
Now, I'm gonna
flush this down the
toilet.
206
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,266
What, you don't trust me
to do it?
207
00:07:57,300 --> 00:08:00,150
Marlon, when was the last time
you flushed the toilet?
208
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,660
Good point, you better do it.
209
00:08:06,316 --> 00:08:08,316
Hey, ugh! Man! Ah!
210
00:08:10,183 --> 00:08:12,266
You go flush that!
211
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,660
What the..
What's wrong with you, man?
212
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:19,250
Now wait a minute,
you're not sayin' that Marlon
213
00:08:19,283 --> 00:08:22,200
smoked those tweeds himself,
do we?
214
00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:24,316
I, I mean, I don't know, pop,
I mean he says he's not
215
00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:26,383
but I wish there was a way
for me to figure out if he
was.
216
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,183
Uh, here he comes.
L-listen, leave it to
me.
217
00:08:29,216 --> 00:08:31,366
I took a
three-day
intensive course
218
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,000
how to spot drug users.
219
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:37,133
So now he's gonna be defensive,
we have to be very subtle.
220
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,150
[mumbling]
221
00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,300
Hey, y'all.
222
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:41,330
- Hey, Marlon?
- Hm?
223
00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:42,316
You high?
224
00:08:45,166 --> 00:08:47,366
Wow, Dee, that was about
as subtle as your breast.
225
00:08:49,316 --> 00:08:52,830
Hm, hm, hm.
226
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,300
What is this? I step out
for ten minutes to get a
script
227
00:08:56,333 --> 00:08:58,233
I come back,
you tell everybody I'm
high?
228
00:08:58,266 --> 00:09:00,300
Look, relax, okay?
I didn't tell everybody.
229
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,100
I just told, Dee.
You could trust her.
230
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,316
- She's not gonna say
nothin'.
- Yeah.
231
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:06,200
He is high. Look at him.
232
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,233
You know what? I'm gonna go
grab some papers on my way out.
233
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,100
Papers? What do you need papers
for? What kinda paper?
234
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:17,133
Newspaper, okay?
Not those kind of
papers.
235
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:18,233
(Pops)
Marlon, Marlon,
come here, son.
236
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,133
- Come here, son.
- What, man!
237
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:23,200
I don't think you realize
how serious a matter this is.
238
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,333
Let me tell you a story.
239
00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:27,283
I once knew a young surgeon.
240
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:30,100
He was at the top of his class
in his medical school.
241
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,200
Then he started
messing with drugs.
242
00:09:32,233 --> 00:09:34,316
Next thing you knew,
his nerve was so bad
243
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:37,316
his hands started shakin'.
He couldn't operate.
244
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,166
Lost his license.
245
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,166
And that's what
ruined his career.
246
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,150
- Well, what happened to him?
- He's working at Supercuts.
247
00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:48,333
Hold on, let me,
let me try for a minute.
248
00:09:48,366 --> 00:09:50,116
Let me try
and break it down for you.
249
00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,333
Look, Marlon, check this out.
250
00:09:51,366 --> 00:09:54,233
Marlon, look.
This is your brain.
251
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,283
I'mma get a smaller egg.
252
00:09:59,283 --> 00:10:02,200
Marlon...this is your brain.
253
00:10:04,366 --> 00:10:07,000
Now, this is your brain..
254
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:12,100
You hardheaded, boy.
255
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:16,330
This is your brain on drugs.
256
00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:19,160
And this is your brain
with some hot sauce..
257
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,366
...and some chopped ham.
258
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,333
Pop, I'm tryin' to teach
him a lesson, man!
259
00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:26,830
And I'm tryin'
to run a business.
260
00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:28,216
I'm not gonna waste
an egg on that fool.
261
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,000
[instrumental music]
262
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:40,830
Yo, Darius,
you heard those gunshots?
263
00:10:41,316 --> 00:10:42,383
Darius?
264
00:10:44,233 --> 00:10:46,100
Darius?
265
00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:48,316
Oh, my God! They shot Darius!
266
00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,233
That's it, that's it,
if I could just
267
00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:52,233
nail it like that
for the audition.
268
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:56,000
Oh, my God, they shot Darius!
269
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:59,300
- Hey, Marlon, my man.
- Oh, what the dilly, yo?
270
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:02,383
Right, right, cool.
Whatcha doing up here, man?
271
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,000
Ah, just taking a meeting
on some new flick.
272
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,300
Oh, a meeting? So you big time,
big time, y'all take meetings.
273
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,366
I gotta audition.
274
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,183
Either that
or the castin' couch.
275
00:11:11,216 --> 00:11:13,216
[laughs]
276
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:17,000
Ooh! Anyway, I'm goin'
in
for Steven Bergman.
277
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,333
Oh, yeah. You know, I turned
that piece of crap down.
278
00:11:19,366 --> 00:11:22,300
Hey, but for you
that'll be good. Really, yeah.
279
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:26,000
Oh. Well, I finally think
I'll nail this character.
280
00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:27,250
I'm just nervous though, man.
281
00:11:27,283 --> 00:11:30,216
I never read for somebody
like Steven's caliber
before.
282
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:33,183
You'll be alright, man, just
do
whatever you do to relax.
283
00:11:33,216 --> 00:11:36,150
I would, but I left
my booty magazines at home.
284
00:11:36,183 --> 00:11:37,300
[scoffs]
285
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:40,266
Well, then, uh, do what I do.
286
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,100
Smoke a joint, man.
287
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:44,150
It'll take that edge right off.
288
00:11:44,183 --> 00:11:47,233
Uh, I-I don't, I don't know
about that, man, I..
289
00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:50,183
- Won't that mess up my
actin'?
- No, man!
290
00:11:50,216 --> 00:11:52,183
That'll take you
to the next level, bro.
291
00:11:52,216 --> 00:11:54,250
You know, I was high
when I got my first job?
292
00:11:54,283 --> 00:11:56,166
Oh, yeah, that's right!
293
00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,150
You played the stoned
guy
in "Getting Stoned."
294
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:03,283
Man, and ever since then
I work strictly high.
295
00:12:03,316 --> 00:12:06,216
You see, it makes you
more creative, bro.
296
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,350
You know, it frees your mind.
297
00:12:07,383 --> 00:12:11,000
You lose all inhibitions.
298
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:14,000
No wonder why Robert Downey Jr.
keeps workin'.
299
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:18,150
So, uh...what happened
to that joint I gave you?
300
00:12:18,183 --> 00:12:21,383
Tsk. My brother put
it
in the toilet.
301
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,333
Well, uh, lucky for you..
302
00:12:24,366 --> 00:12:26,183
...I've got an extra one.
303
00:12:26,216 --> 00:12:29,133
Well, you're just
like
the cheeba man, huh?
304
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,830
Had all kind
of herb
endorsement.
305
00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:33,660
Weed is..
306
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,266
Look, bro. Smoke that, okay?
307
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:38,150
And you will blow them away
at that audition.
308
00:12:38,183 --> 00:12:39,300
[chuckles]
309
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,350
- Catch you later.
- Yup.
310
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,216
[instrumental music]
311
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,183
[knock on door]
312
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,150
Mr. Williams?
313
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:05,300
[laughs]
Oh! What's the deal,
baby?
314
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:07,333
How you feelin'?
Word up, let's take the
scene.
315
00:13:07,366 --> 00:13:10,233
You know what I'm
sayin'?
Word up, word up.
316
00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:13,283
Like a Ken doll,
word up, word up.
317
00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:14,366
Whoa! Mine don't do that.
318
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,333
[laughs]
319
00:13:16,366 --> 00:13:19,300
Hi, I'm JJ, the producer
and this is of, uh, course
320
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,500
this is Steven Bergman.
321
00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:23,500
[Marlon
laughing]
Oh!
322
00:13:23,830 --> 00:13:25,830
I just wanna thank the Academy.
323
00:13:25,116 --> 00:13:27,350
Uh, first and foremost I'd
like
to thank the man upstairs.
324
00:13:27,383 --> 00:13:30,660
L. Ron Hubbard, thank you.
325
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,233
[banging]
326
00:13:32,266 --> 00:13:35,500
Man, I won, I won!
327
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:36,383
I won and you didn't.
328
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,250
I won, I won,
I won and you didn't.
329
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,300
Na, na, prff.
330
00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:43,333
[laughs]
331
00:13:43,366 --> 00:13:46,116
Right, uh, I was thinking how
about if we just do the scene.
332
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:47,300
Oh, let me..
Who's that?
333
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:49,116
Oh, well, this is, uh,
this is our director
334
00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:50,216
uh, Steven Bergman.
335
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,366
Obviously, this is,
this is, Marlon.
336
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,333
Shh! Hiya.
337
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:57,383
Nice to meet you, brother.
338
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,000
Yo, you got a big head.
339
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:01,250
[laughs]
340
00:14:01,283 --> 00:14:05,166
You got a big
head.
Oh, I'm sorry.
341
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,283
He-he's the black guy from
"Everybody Loves Everybody."
342
00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:10,166
Hey, where you, where you
get them liquor store
shades?
343
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,383
You got them, them cop shades.
344
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,200
These look like..
345
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,166
...tinted
windows,
they're so big.
346
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,830
Vroom. Say, girl,
what's your number?
347
00:14:17,116 --> 00:14:19,383
[laughs]
348
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,250
Yo, when I was little
I used to wanna sing,
yo.
349
00:14:22,283 --> 00:14:24,300
Oh, y'all got the mike,
too,
right here?
350
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,660
Let me try that.
351
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,100
Uh, careful, it's--
352
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,330
♪ Ooh yeah ♪
353
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,316
♪ Oo-oo-o-ooh ♪
354
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:33,183
♪ Oo-oo-o-ooh ♪
355
00:14:33,216 --> 00:14:39,200
♪ Ha ha-a-a ♪♪
356
00:14:39,233 --> 00:14:41,000
Girl, huh
357
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:43,830
I hate when you
believe in me sometime.
358
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,333
You hurt my feelings.
359
00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:47,000
But I seen you in the room
with that other brother.
360
00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:50,216
That's why I'mma get your
sister instead. You ain't
cute.
361
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,133
[laughs]
362
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:53,300
Whoa, I'm skiin'!
363
00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:55,216
[grunts]
I'm
skiing.
364
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:58,830
There comes a tree.
There comes another
tree.
365
00:14:58,116 --> 00:15:00,333
There goes the tree.
There goes the
bridge.
366
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,330
[snorts]
367
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,500
[laughs]
Ain't no brother don't
ski.
368
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,316
White guys do
everything.
Yeah, I'll be snow
surfin'.
369
00:15:08,350 --> 00:15:12,830
Whoa! Wow! Everybody's
going surfin', dude!
370
00:15:12,116 --> 00:15:14,333
[shouting]
371
00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:16,116
[gibberish]
372
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:19,000
Oh, no!
Here comes a shark!
Cool!
373
00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:21,133
[screams]
374
00:15:22,266 --> 00:15:25,160
How come there ain't
no brother in "Jaws?"
375
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,283
Do you know why?
Brothers don't get in the
water.
376
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:27,316
Make us ashy.
377
00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,830
[laughs]
378
00:15:32,316 --> 00:15:34,660
Yo.
379
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,200
Yo, why she lookin' at me
like that, yo?
380
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,266
I mean..
381
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,300
Yo, why she lookin' at me?
382
00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:42,266
Yo, can you tell her..
383
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,830
She's still lookin' at me, yo.
384
00:15:44,116 --> 00:15:45,300
Yo, take that down off the wall.
385
00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:48,150
- Get her off of the wall!
- Okay, okay, alright.
386
00:15:48,183 --> 00:15:51,133
Yo, get her off the wall,
man, please! Please, please.
387
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,000
(JJ)
'Okay, it's, uh, it's
cool.
We got it.'
388
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:56,830
When I say bang,
you get shot and die, okay?
389
00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:57,216
Alright.
390
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,183
B-bang, shot.
391
00:15:59,216 --> 00:16:01,200
I got nothin' to
drink.
My mouth is dry.
392
00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,233
Uh, we-we-we'll get you
some water in here.
393
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:06,233
Yeah. Uh, Jeannie,
bring in some water!
394
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:09,316
Alright, so here,
why don't you do
this?
395
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:13,830
Jeannie, bring your sister
in,
so we can all get down.
396
00:16:13,116 --> 00:16:15,660
[laughs]
397
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,116
- Anytime.
- Alright, anytime.
398
00:16:20,316 --> 00:16:22,116
What're we doing?
399
00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:24,183
- Darius.
- Darius, right.
400
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:25,283
Alright, you
guys
scream action.
401
00:16:25,316 --> 00:16:26,383
- Alright.
- Alright.
402
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,133
Action.
403
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,160
- What happened?
- Okay, you weren't ready.
404
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,250
- Okay.
- Do one, two, three.
405
00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:36,160
- Right.
- Five, four, three.
406
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:37,830
Right, okay, and then do action.
407
00:16:37,116 --> 00:16:40,160
Five, four, three, two--
408
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,330
One.
409
00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:45,500
[indistinct singing]
410
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:50,100
[laughs]
411
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,266
Alright.
412
00:16:54,183 --> 00:16:56,330
Action!
413
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:57,266
Oh, my God, Darius!
414
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,300
Darius.
415
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,660
Darius..
416
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,183
[sobbing]
Don't die, Darius.
417
00:17:02,216 --> 00:17:04,183
Don't die, Darius.
418
00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:06,330
Don't die, Darius, don't die.
419
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:07,216
♪ Don't die Darius don't die ♪
420
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:09,330
♪ Don't die Darius
don't die huh ♪
421
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:10,233
♪ Don't die Darius
don't die hey ♪
422
00:17:10,266 --> 00:17:12,183
♪ Don't die Darius
don't die huh ♪
423
00:17:12,216 --> 00:17:13,383
♪ Oh Darius don't die ha ♪
424
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,366
♪ Don't die Darius don't die
Ha ha ho ♪
425
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,166
♪ Don't die Darius don't die ♪
426
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,266
♪ Don't die Darius
don't die ♪♪
427
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,383
Alright...bang.
428
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,383
[singing continues]
429
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,100
(JJ)
'Bang.'
430
00:17:27,150 --> 00:17:28,366
Bang!
431
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:31,200
You hit me.
432
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:32,366
But you missed
my vital organs, see.
433
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,100
- I shifted them.
- No.
434
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,233
I shifted them.
They're over here
now.
435
00:17:35,266 --> 00:17:36,233
I put 'em in my leg.
436
00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:37,383
All the vital organs are here.
437
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,116
I'm comin' after you
like the Terminator.
438
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,266
Alright, you..
439
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,183
[gibberish]
440
00:17:43,216 --> 00:17:45,150
Mr. Williams..
441
00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:46,350
Now I turn into liquid.
442
00:17:46,383 --> 00:17:49,166
Look at it, I'm liquid.
443
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,133
[groans]
444
00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:53,233
And now I'm puttin'
it
all together again.
445
00:17:53,266 --> 00:17:54,383
[groans]
446
00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,250
And I come back.
And I feel Diesel.
447
00:17:58,283 --> 00:18:01,183
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- And I'm the Terminator.
448
00:18:01,216 --> 00:18:03,316
Yeah! Get off..
449
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:06,133
You see that?
That was ill, right?
450
00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:09,330
Y'all should make this
science fiction, yo, right?
451
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:10,366
Please don't make me
call security.
452
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,216
What happened? How did I do?
453
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:15,383
Well, y'all didn't
even
see me die yet.
454
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,000
I think we just did.
455
00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:22,200
Oh, yeah,
that's the writer talk.
456
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:24,500
Yo, hang on, there.
457
00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:26,116
Alright, hey, you know where I
can get a fried baloney
sandwich
458
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:28,116
with, like, some,
some peas and carrots on
it
459
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:31,333
and, like, some caramel
sauce
and liquorice with it?
460
00:18:31,366 --> 00:18:34,000
No?
461
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:35,166
You mind if I take
them jelly beans,
yo?
462
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,133
- Take them.
- I just want a couple.
463
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:38,383
Yeah.
464
00:18:42,283 --> 00:18:44,166
Yo, I'll see
y'all later,
alright?
465
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,183
'Yo.'
466
00:18:50,266 --> 00:18:52,266
It's a shame what drugs
do to a good actor.
467
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:55,233
First we got to fire
that pothead Rico and now
this.
468
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,660
(Shawn)
'Look, uh, if you just
give him another shot.'
469
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,000
I'm sure, look, I'm-I'm--
470
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:03,830
Hello?
471
00:19:03,116 --> 00:19:05,500
- Hello?
- Whoo, Shawn!
472
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,150
I just ripped
this audition,
kid.
473
00:19:07,183 --> 00:19:10,660
I was loose, I was
confident,
I was creative.
474
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,183
I'm tellin' you,
they're probably talkin'
about
475
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:12,350
castin' me right now.
476
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:15,283
Yeah, for the Rick James story.
477
00:19:15,316 --> 00:19:17,350
I just got off the phone
with the producer, Marlon.
478
00:19:17,383 --> 00:19:19,300
You didn't get the part.
479
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:21,350
Why? 'Cause I'm black?
480
00:19:21,383 --> 00:19:23,150
Where's Al Sharpton?
We're gonna march.
481
00:19:23,183 --> 00:19:25,350
Yeah, well, why don't you march
to the Betty Ford Center
482
00:19:25,383 --> 00:19:27,500
okay?
483
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,300
You was high.
484
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,830
What are you talkin' about?
485
00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:33,160
I wasn't high.
What makes you say that?
486
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:34,366
'Cause you're sittin' there
eating a gallon of jelly beans
487
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,266
and you smell like
Willie Nelson's beard.
488
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,216
I can't believe you, Marlon,
man, how could you blow
489
00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:42,116
the biggest opportunity
of your career by getting
high?
490
00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:44,183
It calms me.
That's why I smoke,
Shawn!
491
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:45,333
Yeah, I-I was nervous, man.
492
00:19:45,366 --> 00:19:47,366
It just gave me
a little extra
confidence.
493
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,150
Marlon, don't you see
that's false?
494
00:19:50,183 --> 00:19:52,150
Weed gives you a false
sense of security, man.
495
00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:53,366
And then when you
come down off the high
496
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,350
you're worse off than you were
when you smoked it.
497
00:19:56,383 --> 00:19:58,316
Now, not only did you
blow your part
498
00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:02,160
but you have a bad reputation
just like your boy Rico.
499
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,166
What you talkin' about
Rico?
Rico got it made.
500
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,330
No, he doesn't.
I talked to JJ.
501
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,160
Rico can't even get an actin'
job because he's always high.
502
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,830
As a matter of fact,
he lost his job
503
00:20:11,116 --> 00:20:14,133
that he was gonna get in
the sequel to "Getting
Stoned."
504
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:17,330
He's not gonna be
in "Getting
Stoneder?"
505
00:20:18,316 --> 00:20:21,366
- This ain't no joke,
Marlon.
- I know, man.
506
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,116
I don't know
what I was thinkin',
man.
507
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:25,366
Honestly, it
doesn't
even feel good.
508
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,500
I mean, it's-it's like all hype.
509
00:20:29,830 --> 00:20:31,500
I don't know, man.
510
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,100
For the first time
in my life, I..
511
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:35,200
...I actually felt stupid.
512
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,160
Good.
513
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,266
'Cause you were.
514
00:20:40,216 --> 00:20:42,233
Next time you gonna
listen to me?
515
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,333
Ain't gonna be no next time.
516
00:20:45,366 --> 00:20:48,266
I ain't smokin'
that stuff no
more.
517
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,383
That's what
I wanted to hear, kid.
518
00:20:57,330 --> 00:20:58,383
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon, say"Cheese."
37917
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