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1
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:04,383
Hi, guys.
2
00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:09,216
You better go, baby.
3
00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:12,283
Work it,
work it, work it, missy.
4
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:15,330
(Marlon)
Look at your chocolate self.
Look at you.
5
00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:16,316
Lookin' like the supreme.
6
00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:20,500
Really?
7
00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:22,330
- Which one?
- All of them.
8
00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:23,116
Oh..
9
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:26,150
Nah, for real,
Dee, you look good, girl.
10
00:00:26,183 --> 00:00:28,000
- Thank you.
- What's goin' on?
11
00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:30,166
Makin' more conjugal visits
to the state prison?
12
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,366
Hey, work it, brother.
Do your thing.
13
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,183
No, I am going
to the Security Guards Ball.
14
00:00:37,216 --> 00:00:40,150
I am up for
the Golden Flashlight Award.
15
00:00:40,183 --> 00:00:43,383
That is the biggest thing
that a guard can have.
16
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,350
Um, uh, no, Dee.
17
00:00:45,383 --> 00:00:48,500
Those are the biggest
thing
a guard can have.
18
00:00:48,830 --> 00:00:49,133
Stop.
19
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:50,316
So who are you goin' with?
20
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,300
Oh, I got an escort.
21
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:54,233
An Escort? What happened?
22
00:00:54,266 --> 00:00:56,266
Your Pinto caught on fire again?
23
00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,316
No, not my car.
24
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,250
I hired a date.
25
00:01:01,283 --> 00:01:02,366
Yeah, it's great.
26
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,150
'Cause there are
no strings
attached.
27
00:01:04,183 --> 00:01:05,383
You know, the regular date
28
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,250
they bring you home,
then they wanna eat your
food
29
00:01:08,283 --> 00:01:12,250
then tie you up and spank you
with a Ping-Pong paddle and..
30
00:01:12,283 --> 00:01:13,300
(Shawn)
'Whoa. Hey! Hey! Hey!'
31
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:16,330
Hey! Hey! Whoa!
32
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,330
Who you been datin'? Marlon?
33
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:19,500
[laughing]
34
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,250
Oh, there's Marshall now.
35
00:01:24,133 --> 00:01:25,216
As you can see..
36
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:29,160
...it's the best
$200
I ever spent.
37
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:30,316
Hi, Marshall.
38
00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,183
Open the door!
39
00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:37,830
Damn! Sisters be pokin'
them
light skinned brothers.
40
00:01:37,116 --> 00:01:38,300
[laughs]
41
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:40,383
Did you get that,
Marlon?
$200, man.
42
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,300
- Yeah.
- For one dude.
43
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:45,266
Yo, kid, them escort
services
be gettin' paid.
44
00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:48,233
- Thinkin' what I'm
thinkin'?
- Yeah.
45
00:01:48,266 --> 00:01:52,116
I hope Dee let me spank her
with that Ping-Pong paddle.
46
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,133
[theme song]
47
00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:57,660
♪ We're brothers ♪
48
00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:00,830
♪ We're happy and we're
singin'
and we're colored ♪
49
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:03,383
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
50
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,200
(male #1)
'Alright. Cut and print.'
51
00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:07,266
'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.'
52
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:10,830
[theme music]
53
00:02:33,316 --> 00:02:35,233
[instrumental music]
54
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,233
[mumbling]
55
00:02:45,183 --> 00:02:48,100
Every time I turn around,
there's a crazy woman..
56
00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:50,316
Hey, you spilled my coffee.
57
00:02:51,383 --> 00:02:53,233
Every time I talk to a woman..
58
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,366
Any more complaints?
59
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,166
Hey, pops..
60
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,283
...I ain't seen you this upset
61
00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:07,300
since Don Cornelius
left "Soul Train."
62
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,166
Your mama's gone crazy, son.
63
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,366
The whinin' and mooting.
64
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,383
Now she got the nerve
not to give me any stuff.
65
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,283
Ain't nobody got
a headache for five months.
66
00:03:17,316 --> 00:03:19,330
Hey, yo, kids.
67
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,250
You guys know that
there's over a
hundred
68
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,330
escort services
in Manhattan
alone?
69
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,366
You still thinkin' about
startin' this business?
70
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,330
Hell yeah, man.
71
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,330
It's a gold mine, Marlon.
72
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:30,160
Quick startup,
no overhead and big
profits.
73
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,383
Now, all I need
is a catchy
name.
74
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,216
What about...Shawn's hoe's?
75
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:41,500
I was lookin' for
somethin'
with a little bit more
class.
76
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,350
Hmm. Okay. I got it. I got it.
77
00:03:43,383 --> 00:03:46,133
Shawn's Whores.
78
00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:51,216
You don't get it. This will be
a legitimate upscale business.
79
00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:54,500
I'm gonna have roses, tuxedos
80
00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:55,366
and..
81
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,350
- You're going all out, son.
- That's right.
82
00:03:57,383 --> 00:04:00,330
Now, all I need
is some young, fly
brothers
83
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:03,000
who all the girlies
wanna go out with.
84
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,183
Alright, men..
85
00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:05,383
...when you go out there
with these women tonight..
86
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,500
...I want you
to make them feel special.
87
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,116
'These women are spendin'
lots of their hard-earned
money'
88
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:13,160
on their dream date..
89
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,830
...and you guys
are their fantasies.
90
00:04:18,330 --> 00:04:19,266
Hey, Shawn, brah..
91
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,266
...you ain't tellin' us
nothin'
we don't already know.
92
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,383
[indistinct chattering]
93
00:04:24,366 --> 00:04:26,150
You feel me?
Do you feel me?
94
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,316
I feel you.
You better tell 'em..
95
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:30,183
Enough!
96
00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:33,660
Front and center.
97
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,330
I'm gonna make sure
you goons looks presentable
98
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,166
to these women tonight.
99
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:43,660
T.C., cut back
on that hair grease.
100
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,133
And why'd you kill
Tweety bird and make a shirt?
101
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:52,250
Marlon, wipe that
stupid look off your face.
102
00:04:57,283 --> 00:04:58,350
And, Dupree..
103
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,383
...suck in your guts.
104
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,000
Now, the other one.
105
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:08,830
[coughing]
106
00:05:09,316 --> 00:05:10,383
What's this bulge?
107
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,150
Oh, that's my pager, man.
108
00:05:12,183 --> 00:05:14,300
Beep, beep, beep..
109
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,283
Beef, beef, beef
110
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,000
beef, beef, beef.
111
00:05:20,183 --> 00:05:22,116
And, ooh, look,
you got a page..
112
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,383
...from Jenny Craig.
113
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,383
Tellin' you to stop
eating, you big
whale.
114
00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:31,160
Alright, y'all.
115
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,283
There's a bunch of women
in town tonight
116
00:05:32,316 --> 00:05:34,300
for a cosmetic convention, okay?
117
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,830
Now, I have
one woman right here
118
00:05:36,116 --> 00:05:37,366
who's lookin'
for a professional
man.
119
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,300
"A lawyer, a doctor,
a dentist.."
120
00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:42,133
T.C., you take this one.
121
00:05:43,366 --> 00:05:45,100
I ain't no dentist.
122
00:05:45,133 --> 00:05:47,150
Yeah, but you know
all about bad teeth.
123
00:05:48,383 --> 00:05:50,233
Hey, Shawn, man,
what you got for
me?
124
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,150
Okay, I have one lady here
125
00:05:52,183 --> 00:05:55,166
that wants somebody who's
worldly and well-rounded.
126
00:05:57,830 --> 00:05:59,000
I don't know
anybody in this world
127
00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:00,233
that's more rounded than you.
128
00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:03,100
Thank you, my brother.
Ha ha ha. Yeah.
129
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:06,316
I guess this last one
right here is for you, Marlon.
130
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:08,100
Shawn, this one says it wants
131
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:10,830
a young, adventurous,
white male.
132
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:13,316
Now, any idiot can look at me
and tell I ain't adventurous.
133
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,283
Oh, don't sell yourself
short, son.
134
00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:17,150
Anybody that can wear
the same drawer
135
00:06:17,183 --> 00:06:18,316
for three weeks in a row..
136
00:06:18,350 --> 00:06:19,366
...is adventurous to me.
137
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,150
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
138
00:06:22,183 --> 00:06:24,300
Alright, now. Fall out, men.
Have a good time.
139
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:27,166
- Alright.
- Hey.
140
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,660
- Hey, hey, boys.
- What's up, pop? How you doing?
141
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,183
Good to see you, man.
We'll represent.
142
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,100
Alright, see you..
143
00:06:33,133 --> 00:06:35,150
T.C., stop tryin'
to steal my style.
144
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,300
Hey, pop,
what you doin' here?
145
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:41,500
Son, I had to give
your mama some space.
146
00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:42,333
I mean, she is
really on the edge.
147
00:06:42,366 --> 00:06:44,266
I mean, after
30 years of marriage..
148
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:47,500
...we tend to pick up
each others signal.
149
00:06:47,830 --> 00:06:48,116
What signal?
150
00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:50,150
She threw a hatchet at me.
151
00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:52,266
[phone ringing]
152
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:58,660
Hello. Soul Daddy's
International Escorts.
153
00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:01,133
If we you have the ends,
uh, we have the mens.
154
00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:04,383
Uh-huh. So what you lookin' for?
155
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,160
So you want an older man..
156
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:08,166
...with a lot of style..
157
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,160
...who likes to party.
158
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,830
Hmm.
159
00:07:12,116 --> 00:07:14,233
I think I got
the perfect man for you.
160
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:17,830
Yeah. Give me your number.
I'll call you back.
161
00:07:18,283 --> 00:07:19,266
Alright.
162
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:21,300
Bye.
163
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,300
- Hey, pops.
- Hey, son.
164
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,333
- Hey, what you doin'
tonight?
- I'm not doing anything.
165
00:07:26,366 --> 00:07:29,283
I'm just goin' home to put
some
relax on my stomach hairs.
166
00:07:32,830 --> 00:07:33,250
Ew.
167
00:07:33,283 --> 00:07:35,100
Hey, man, could you
do me a favor?
168
00:07:35,133 --> 00:07:36,300
I need you
to do me a big favor, pop.
169
00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:38,660
Could you be an escort for me?
170
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,350
Boy, you crazy? I'm married.
171
00:07:39,383 --> 00:07:42,366
Your mother find out, she'll
escort her foot upside my
head.
172
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,350
Come on, pop. It's not like
it's a regular date.
173
00:07:44,383 --> 00:07:46,133
It's business.
174
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,116
Shawn, many years ago..
175
00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:51,350
...I took a vow under God's
eyes
to be true to my wife.
176
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:55,150
I don't wanna do
anything
to betray thattrust.
177
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,150
I'll give you $50.
178
00:07:57,183 --> 00:07:59,183
What time do I have to be there?
179
00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:05,350
You know..
180
00:08:05,383 --> 00:08:07,350
...the best part about
being a dentist..
181
00:08:07,383 --> 00:08:10,350
...is I get a discount
on all my gold teeth.
182
00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,160
I've toured
the Caribbean
islands
183
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:19,216
and the Cayman Islands.
184
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,283
I guess you can call me
an island nut.
185
00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:27,830
Me too. Every Sunday I go
visit my uncle in Rikers
Island.
186
00:08:29,350 --> 00:08:31,000
[gasps]
187
00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:32,233
Calm down, baby,
I just wanna show
you
188
00:08:32,266 --> 00:08:35,330
a tattoo of my long stem rose.
189
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,330
Oh, I thought that was a..
190
00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:40,100
...varicose vein
attached to a blood clot.
191
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,233
I can show you something else.
192
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:47,333
Oh, no. No, thank you.
Ronald McDonald's mama.
193
00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:50,100
I think I've seen enough.
194
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:53,160
I can take out
the whole top
row.
195
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:55,166
Oh, really?
196
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,133
And I bet I could find
somethin' to replace it.
197
00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:00,330
- Follow me.
- Alright.
198
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,133
Uh, Michael Jordan,
uh, I'm with the Sparks party.
199
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:14,133
You look tall on television.
200
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,233
Mrs. Sparks,
I'm your escort for tonight.
201
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,183
Johnny Williams
from Roosevelt High!
202
00:09:23,216 --> 00:09:26,183
Susan Johnson
from the back seat!
203
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:34,116
But it's Susan Sparks, I got
married, but my husband died.
204
00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:36,116
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
205
00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:37,333
[chuckles]
I don't believe
this
206
00:09:37,366 --> 00:09:39,116
the first time I decide
207
00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:40,233
to use an escort service
208
00:09:40,266 --> 00:09:43,283
and I end up
with my old
boyfriend.
209
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,133
How embarrassing.
210
00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:47,830
Talk about embarrassing,
this is the same suit
211
00:09:47,116 --> 00:09:49,116
I wore to our prom.
212
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,383
But you always
did look good in sky blue.
213
00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:57,000
You just..
214
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,500
...always looked good.
215
00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:00,266
Oh, J..
216
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,166
Please.
217
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,150
Now, how long
you been selling cosmetics?
218
00:10:04,183 --> 00:10:06,233
Well, actually my
husband
owned the company.
219
00:10:06,266 --> 00:10:08,216
He left it to me when he died.
220
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,330
You know you owe me
five dollars.
221
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:17,150
Same old Johnny.
You always could make me laugh.
222
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,133
[laughs]
223
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:21,500
No, really. No, really.
224
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,350
I keep records.
225
00:10:23,383 --> 00:10:25,160
What?
226
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,000
I lent Susan..
227
00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:29,316
...five dollars for
a black power afro pitch.
228
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,116
Here.
229
00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:38,366
Paid in full.
230
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,166
- Oh, hey, you know what.
- What?
231
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,333
I'll let you slide
on the interest.
232
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,366
Here. Sign here. Just in case.
233
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,283
Listen, you still known as, uh,
twinkle toes on the dance floor?
234
00:10:53,316 --> 00:10:55,830
Well, let's go out there
and find out.
235
00:10:55,116 --> 00:10:56,100
Okay.
236
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,200
[instrumental music]
237
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,500
Okay, a-a-alright.
Stop screamin' on
me.
238
00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:13,000
I'm sorry.
It'll never happen again,
okay?
239
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:16,000
I'm sorry, ma'am. God!
240
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:17,333
T.C., how could
you
do that, man?
241
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:20,660
[high pitch]
I don't understand
why you're trippin', man.
242
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,166
- I got the money, didn't I?
- Yeah, that's great.
243
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,383
Now, go back to the hotel and
give that woman back her purse.
244
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:31,166
Too late. I already gave it
to my mama for her birthday.
245
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:35,250
Okay. Okay, I'll take care..
246
00:11:37,316 --> 00:11:40,100
And what's your
excuse,
Dupree? Huh?
247
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,266
You sent your date home hungry
248
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:44,300
because you ate all her food.
249
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,133
Man, I couldn't help myself.
250
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,266
You know I got
an eatin' disorder.
251
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,283
Yeah, you eatin'
this order, that
order..
252
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,233
You eatin'
everybody's order, man.
253
00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:54,316
Go take your big behind
around the block
254
00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:56,166
and jog a couple of times.
255
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,316
And get rid of them
braids.
They look like rat
droppings.
256
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,116
Huh.
257
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:01,366
You ain't said nothin', brah.
258
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,000
Now, Shawn, you know that's no
way to talk to pregnant people.
259
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:10,383
- Hi, boys.
- Hey, what's up, pops?
260
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,200
(Marlon)
'Where'd you get that
"Planet of the Apes" jacket?'
261
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,830
Hey, pop, how come you're
opening up the diner so late?
262
00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:18,250
I didn't get in
till 4 this morning.
263
00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:19,333
(Shawn)
See that?
264
00:12:19,366 --> 00:12:22,830
See that, Marlon?
Now, that's hard work.
265
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,266
And dedication. Huh.
266
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,166
Where's my money, pop?
267
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,316
Well, I don't have it, son.
268
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:28,200
Seemed like the woman
you assigned to me..
269
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,160
...was my old friend.
270
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:35,500
Oh, word. Well, you know, I
made
an old friend last night too.
271
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:39,660
Whoo! Hey, pop, do you know that
Depends come in G-strings?
272
00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:43,000
Look, boy,
we spent the whole evening
273
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,166
dancing and laughing
like the old days.
274
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,500
I'm tryin' to run
a business here.
275
00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:49,660
Look, I'll pay for it
out of my own pocket.
276
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,316
How can I charge a woman
for givin' me
277
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:52,660
one of the most
wonderful evening's
278
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,366
I had in a long time.
279
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,660
Damn, pop, if I had known you
better, I think you was in
love.
280
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,116
Well, son..
281
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:01,383
...maybe I am.
282
00:13:07,116 --> 00:13:08,183
Pop, you're a married man.
283
00:13:08,216 --> 00:13:09,333
How you gonna be in
love
with another woman?
284
00:13:09,366 --> 00:13:11,116
Well, look..
285
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:13,150
...last night I had a date
with an old friend.
286
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,660
It was beautiful,
nothin' happened.
287
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,100
Now, I have got to get to work.
288
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,200
Shawn, how could you, man?
289
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,000
How you gonna set
pop up on a date
290
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:24,133
knowin' him and mama's
havin' problems?
291
00:13:24,166 --> 00:13:25,283
I know. I know. I know.
292
00:13:25,316 --> 00:13:27,316
That's like askin' Rick James
to watch your white girl
293
00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:29,333
till you get back.
294
00:13:32,283 --> 00:13:33,366
So, what are we gonna do now?
295
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,500
We can't just let
some other woman
296
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:36,133
take pop away from mom.
297
00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:38,500
Don't worry.
That's not gonna happen, okay?
298
00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:39,283
Nobody's gonna steal pop away.
299
00:13:39,316 --> 00:13:42,316
All we gotta do is remind pop
of some of the good times.
300
00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:45,233
"G-good times."
Shawn, that's
perfect.
301
00:13:45,266 --> 00:13:46,366
What about the episode..
302
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,133
...where Penny got
burned
with the iron?
303
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:51,316
What about that
one?
Or we could..
304
00:13:51,350 --> 00:13:53,250
How about the episode
where the deaf kid
305
00:13:53,283 --> 00:13:55,830
fell down the elevator shaft?
306
00:13:55,116 --> 00:13:56,366
Going down, dede.
307
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,183
[scatting]
308
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:05,383
Ooh, Pop.
309
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,166
Give me a cup of
coffee
and a doughnut.
310
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,166
With pleasure. With pleasure.
311
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,500
Cup of coffee for my..
312
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:13,300
...friendy.
313
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,660
Yip-tee-di!
314
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,183
Mm!
315
00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:21,100
What'd you do to this coffee?
316
00:14:21,133 --> 00:14:22,316
What's the matter? It's bad?
317
00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:24,166
No, it's good.
318
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,250
And it's hot.
319
00:14:25,283 --> 00:14:28,160
Turns out
people prefer it that way.
320
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,233
You're a different man, Pops.
321
00:14:31,266 --> 00:14:33,233
Oh, Dee, I saw
an old friend last night.
322
00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:34,300
Just brightened my whole day.
323
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:36,166
(Shawn)
Hey, pop.
324
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,233
Me and Marlon were just
talkin'
'bout some old times, man.
325
00:14:38,266 --> 00:14:40,500
Hey, remember when you took ma
326
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:42,300
to that fancy restaurant for
your 20th weddin' anniversary?
327
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:45,133
Yeah, and then you bought
her
12 dozen roses
328
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:47,316
and the violinist
came over to your
table
329
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:51,160
and just played
some
real slow songs.
330
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,116
Oh, man. That was so romantic.
331
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:55,300
Then you guys
snuck on a helicopter
332
00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:58,000
and took a helicopter ride
across the Hudson.
333
00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,200
You boys just gave me an idea.
334
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,116
You gonna take mama
on a second honeymoon?
335
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,383
Second one? Hell!
336
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,830
I wish I had the $75
I spent on the first one.
337
00:15:06,116 --> 00:15:08,133
This is something
Susan would like.
338
00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:13,000
Damn, man.
339
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,000
I know it's none
of my business..
340
00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:20,383
...but who's Susan?
341
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,266
- Don't spread this around,
Dee.
- Uh-huh.
342
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:25,660
Susan's the woman that pops
is gonna leave my mother for.
343
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,283
[gasps]
Pops is cheatin'?
344
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,183
- Shh! Shh!
- Shh! Shh!
345
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,660
Oh.
346
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:35,166
Well, I know how you feel.
347
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,183
Hmm, my uncle Efram
348
00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:40,100
left his wife for another
woman
but it didn't work out.
349
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:41,200
- What happened?
- Mm-mm.
350
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,150
Well, she left him
after she met us.
351
00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:45,000
She said that
we were too gossipy
352
00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:46,166
or so her hairdresser says..
353
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,160
...who used to go
with my cousin.
354
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,200
But she lies 'cause she's
a alcoholic. So, you know--
355
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:52,333
(Shawn and Marlon)
W-what's the point?
356
00:15:52,366 --> 00:15:54,660
The point is
357
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:58,830
that she said
that our family scared her
away!
358
00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:01,350
Dee just sparked somethin'.
359
00:16:01,383 --> 00:16:04,116
I think it's time that Susan..
360
00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:06,150
...met pops real family.
361
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,250
You know what I'm sayin'?
362
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,300
[bell dings]
363
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:32,660
John.
364
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:37,660
- Oh-h-h!
- Oh-h-h! This is for you.
365
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,350
- You didn't have to do that.
- Oh, it's nothin'.
366
00:16:39,383 --> 00:16:42,660
Little somethin'
I picked up on the way.
367
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,166
Come on in.
368
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,216
O-o-oh!
369
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:48,160
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
370
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,330
I thought you was
in the room 1161.
371
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,100
Well, I was,
but I asked for a new room
372
00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:53,333
because the people
next door were..
373
00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:57,166
Well, they were very noisy.
374
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,830
Do I smell..
375
00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:01,000
Yes, you do, sweetie.
376
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:03,316
I took the liberty
of ordering the same meal
377
00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:06,233
we had the night of our prom.
378
00:17:06,266 --> 00:17:08,250
Smothered turkey necks.
379
00:17:08,283 --> 00:17:10,166
'Mm-mm-mm.'
380
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,100
You sure know the way
to a man's heart.
381
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:14,166
Sit down, baby. Sit your
little fine self down.
382
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,330
- Right there.
- Thank you.
383
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,183
I don't believe this. Mm-mm-mm.
384
00:17:19,216 --> 00:17:21,366
- You know, John.
- Yes, indeedy.
385
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,133
I've been really lonely
since my husband died..
386
00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:28,660
...I am so glad
that I found you
again.
387
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,166
Me too.
388
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:33,333
I'mma get one of these necks.
389
00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,500
Mm-hmm. That's good.
390
00:17:38,830 --> 00:17:40,183
- This is it. Room 1161
- Alright. Cool.
391
00:17:40,216 --> 00:17:41,250
- Alright. You ready?
- Yeah.
392
00:17:41,283 --> 00:17:43,300
Aight, it's time to get hard.
393
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:46,183
Get hard. Get hard. Hard.
394
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,000
- Yeah. Let's do this.
- Get hard.
395
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,300
Is that you, sweet..
396
00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:57,250
It's the sons of
sweetie,
biznitch.
397
00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:59,366
- That's right.
- Oh, my God! Who are you?
398
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,300
That's right. You're the one
who having on our father
399
00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:04,160
Did he tell you
who we were? Huh?
400
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,216
Our father didn't tell you.
Father Rafiq.
401
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,216
No. I had no idea.
402
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:09,216
Ay, ay.
403
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:11,100
The name's Crenshawn.
404
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,150
That crazy hood
from the
Inglewood.
405
00:18:13,183 --> 00:18:15,660
[indistinct chattering]
406
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:16,333
Do that, son. Do that, son.
407
00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:19,383
- Yo! Do that, yo..
- Go crazy! Go crazy!
408
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,000
And my name is violent, son!
409
00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:23,333
I'm actually violent.
410
00:18:23,366 --> 00:18:26,116
[indistinct chattering]
411
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:28,333
Stomp 'em out.
Stomp 'em out. Stomp 'em
out.
412
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:31,216
- Yeah!
- They don't know me, son. Yo!
413
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:33,330
...they don't know me, yo!
414
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,116
Crazy, I'll pour some
alcohol.
I'll pour some alcohol.
415
00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:37,150
Hey, lady,
you know what am sayin'.
416
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,160
They call me manslaughter.
417
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:40,166
But to most people,
they just call me
418
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,316
straight black on black crime.
419
00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:45,160
You look like
you got some money up in here.
420
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,660
You know what I'm sayin'.
421
00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:52,300
Let's say, I was to like,
quote unquote, rob you.
422
00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:54,266
How much do you think
I'd get away with, yo?
423
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,166
Yeah. How much you think
I can get away with?
424
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,000
Ooh! I can't stand her.
425
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:01,100
I wanna blow on her.
426
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:03,330
But we gotta be nice to her.
427
00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:04,100
On the real.
428
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:07,166
That's gonna be
our father's other
wife.
429
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,166
- Other wife?
- That's right.
430
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,366
He didn't tell you?
Yeah, you datin' a married
man.
431
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,100
[shouting]
He's married?
432
00:19:18,183 --> 00:19:20,350
- You're married?
- Yeah.
433
00:19:20,383 --> 00:19:23,383
I, I should've told you before
I ate that last turkey neck.
434
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,660
When we met again
435
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,116
it reminded me
of the good old days.
436
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:32,000
And for a moment,
I was tempted to relive them.
437
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:34,266
Well, I, can't say that
I'm not disappointed
438
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,383
but I am glad you told me.
439
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,166
Well, the truth is..
440
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,250
...my wife and I had been
havin' troubles lately.
441
00:19:40,283 --> 00:19:42,300
She's goin' through
some changes.
442
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:45,100
Now, that is not an excuse.
443
00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:47,316
She's been there for me
all these years.
444
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,500
I think my place is with her.
445
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:56,366
Sounds like you really love her.
446
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,316
Yup. I do.
447
00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:00,116
And she's given me
two of the most
448
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:02,366
wonderful boys in the world.
449
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,000
They'll do anything they can
to keep our family together.
450
00:20:07,183 --> 00:20:10,330
[sighs]
You're a lucky man, John.
451
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,383
I'm sorry I never
got to meet them.
452
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,330
Well..
453
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,116
...I guess this is goodbye.
454
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:18,383
Yup. I guess, it is.
455
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,216
And if you'll excuse me..
456
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,500
...I'm gonna go take my wife..
457
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,660
...on a helicopter ride.
458
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:26,300
[instrumental music]
459
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:33,660
You know, thanks, guys.
460
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,133
And you don't have
to
worry about me
461
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,300
marrying your low-life father.
462
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,316
Alright. Right thre.
Cool. Word.
463
00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:41,150
- You know what I'm sayin?
- Take it easy.
464
00:20:43,383 --> 00:20:46,366
Yes. Yes, we did it,
man.
We did it!
465
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,266
Yo, when pops comes up here
466
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:49,366
she's gonna kick his behind.
467
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,116
I know.
It's definitely over now.
468
00:20:53,366 --> 00:20:55,300
- Hey.
- Well, well, well.
469
00:20:55,333 --> 00:20:57,350
Look who's here. Tacky.
470
00:20:57,383 --> 00:20:59,183
What are you two boys
doin' here?
471
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,250
And why are you
dressed like this?
472
00:21:01,283 --> 00:21:03,266
This got somethin' to do
with Snoop Doggy Dogg
473
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:06,350
or Puffy Love Combs?
474
00:21:06,383 --> 00:21:08,250
No, pop,
we just got through talkin'
475
00:21:08,283 --> 00:21:10,383
to your little Susan over there.
476
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,660
No, you didn't. I just
got through talkin' to Susan.
477
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:16,500
I told her
I couldn't see her anymore.
478
00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,283
You boys made me realize
I was bein' real foolish.
479
00:21:18,316 --> 00:21:19,383
Thank you.
480
00:21:21,660 --> 00:21:23,160
Excuse me, gentleman.
481
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:25,266
Today is my lucky day.
482
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:27,366
I'm gettin' engaged.
483
00:21:29,266 --> 00:21:31,133
- Hey, pal.
- Hey!
484
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,160
Good luck!
485
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,200
Get her, bro!
486
00:21:37,150 --> 00:21:38,100
Wait a minute.
487
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:40,150
If you was talkin' to Susan
488
00:21:40,183 --> 00:21:42,216
then who did Popeye go see?
489
00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:43,216
I don't know.
490
00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:45,160
[glass shattering]
491
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,366
(female #1)
'Why didn't you tell me
you were married?'
492
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,116
'Well, then who were
those two boys just up in
here?'
493
00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:53,383
He should've bought
a bigger ring.
35191
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