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1
00:00:01,041 --> 00:00:04,583
♪♪♪
2
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(Crickets chirp, dog barks,
muted music plays)
3
00:00:09,458 --> 00:00:10,833
(Phone buttons click)
4
00:00:10,833 --> 00:00:12,500
(Message alert sounds)
5
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:14,416
(Music plays softly)
6
00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:16,875
- God, the houses in P.E.I.
are so cheap.
7
00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:18,750
- Hmm
- We should move there.
8
00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:20,791
- What is that, like,
"Anne of Green Gables?"
9
00:00:20,791 --> 00:00:22,916
I can't live like that.
- I think it's modern now.
10
00:00:22,916 --> 00:00:25,291
- Mmm... ah, I can't risk it.
11
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,875
(Cell phone buzzes)
12
00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:29,583
- (Laughs)
- Oh, what do you got?
13
00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:31,541
- Felix and Viv locked
themselves
14
00:00:31,541 --> 00:00:33,000
in my Mom's bathroom.
15
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,291
"Not our problem tonight,
Mother!"
16
00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:39,250
- Yeah. Yeah!
It's not our problem.
17
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:41,083
What are we doing
on our phones?
18
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,291
We've got wine,
we've got each other,
19
00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:45,083
it's only 9:30.
- Mmm!
20
00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:46,500
- Mm...
21
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,500
- Get ready for the night
of your--
22
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,500
(James snores loudly)
23
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,958
(Crickets chirp)
24
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(Loud piercing beep)
25
00:00:53,541 --> 00:00:55,291
Both: (Waking groans)
26
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:57,791
- Is that a car alarm?
Who would steal our car?
27
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,333
- It's a bad car!
(Beeping continues)
28
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,791
Is that the...
29
00:01:01,791 --> 00:01:04,000
is that the carbon monoxide
detector?
30
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,041
- (Gasps)
31
00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:08,541
(Firefighter radios chatter)
32
00:01:08,541 --> 00:01:09,916
(Machine hums)
33
00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:11,916
- Nice! Who's the stargazer?
34
00:01:11,916 --> 00:01:14,041
- Oh yeah, that would be me.
35
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:17,250
- Ha! You check out that Saturn
Jupiter conjunction last year?
36
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,666
- Oh! No! I-I... but I'll
definitely get the next one.
37
00:01:19,666 --> 00:01:21,916
- Ah, maybe. It's in 60 years.
38
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:24,916
- Well, it was-it's on YouTube,
I'm sure, so.
39
00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:27,291
- You got a lot of towels
over there by the furnace.
40
00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:29,875
- Oh, well, that explains
the carbon monoxide.
41
00:01:29,875 --> 00:01:31,875
- No, that's just a straight-up
fire hazard.
42
00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:33,750
- Like your house is perfect?
- What's that?
43
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,750
- Hmm?
- Shh! Shh!
44
00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,625
- Oh okay, so your leak is
coming from your water heater,
45
00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:39,041
which I assume came
with the house?
46
00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:41,166
- Yeah, we're also assuming
that.
- Sure.
47
00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:43,083
- Well, that has to be
replaced ASAP.
48
00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:45,041
- Now, how ASAP is ASAP?
- Yeah, we got a roof issue
49
00:01:45,041 --> 00:01:46,833
that's been ASAP for years.
50
00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:48,625
- And while we're ASAP-ing
things, I'd love a skylight
51
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,375
in the mud room.
(All laugh)
52
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:52,500
- I'd say pretty ASAP,
if that alarm hadn't gone off,
53
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,666
you both would've been dead
by morning.
54
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:57,291
♪♪♪
55
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,166
Hey! Who likes to fish?
That's a fun hobby.
56
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:02,375
(Alcohol pours)
- You want one of these?
57
00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:04,958
- No, I'm fine.
I'm totally fine.
58
00:02:06,958 --> 00:02:08,916
Astrid: Before kids, we never thought about death.
59
00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:10,833
Too busy living. James: We could take risks
60
00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:12,833
like speeding or eating day-old sushi.
61
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,541
Astrid: I used to walk through High Park alone, at night,
62
00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:15,958
with headphones on.
63
00:02:15,958 --> 00:02:18,000
James: Now the riskiest thing I do is jaywalk,
64
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,916
or pet a dog I don't know, because we have to stay alive.
65
00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:22,791
Astrid: And we have to keep our kids alive.
66
00:02:22,791 --> 00:02:24,625
James: Ohh! Astrid: Which isn't easy.
67
00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,208
Because the Venn Diagram of things that exist
68
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,291
and things that can hurt your kids is just a circle.
69
00:02:28,291 --> 00:02:30,291
- Poisoned by gas, that's...
70
00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:32,250
uh, is there a more
embarrassing way to die?
71
00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:33,958
- Oh, so you wanna die
in a cool way,
72
00:02:33,958 --> 00:02:37,000
like a volcano or drowning
with Harry Styles?
73
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,291
- How are you so calm?
Our house is attacking us!
74
00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:41,291
We almost died!
- No, we didn't.
75
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:43,041
- I cut my finger
on the mailbox the other day,
76
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,875
it could've been my throat,
the house is trying to kill us!
77
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,708
- Okay.
78
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,958
I'm gonna go let the bed
smother me to sleep.
79
00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:51,208
We have kids again tomorrow.
80
00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:54,666
♪♪♪
81
00:02:54,666 --> 00:02:57,125
(Birds chirp)
82
00:02:57,125 --> 00:02:59,541
(Explosions and crash on TV)
Cartoon Character: My bad!
83
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(Door shuts)
- Hi!
- Hello!
84
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,958
- Oh, hello, come in!
85
00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:04,916
The kids have been
absolute angels.
86
00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:06,875
- Thank you so much.
Mom! Really?!
87
00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:08,708
Marshmallows out of the bag?
88
00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:10,166
- Treats are allowed at
Nanima's house.
89
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,208
Those are the rules.
- It's ten in the morning. Hi!
90
00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:13,833
- Mommy!
- Daddy!
91
00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:15,791
James: Big hug! Hug! Hug!
Hug! Yeah!
92
00:03:15,791 --> 00:03:17,666
- Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
- Mm, I love you.
93
00:03:17,666 --> 00:03:20,208
- Hi! Oh my goodness.
Wow, what's all this?
94
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,125
- Nanima said I look beautiful.
95
00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,583
- Well, you're always
beautiful and smart.
96
00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:26,833
And impressionable.
- Oh, pffft!
97
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:28,625
Why don't you guys go see
if there's marshmallows
98
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,291
in the cushions?
99
00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:32,666
So what'd you two do
last night?
100
00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:34,708
Just give a wink if it was
R-rated. (Click tongue)
101
00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:36,750
- Mom, no, nothing,
it was quiet, very quiet.
102
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,333
We watched a movie,
we went to bed.
103
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:39,958
- Almost got smothered to death
by a carbon monoxide leak.
104
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,875
- Are you kidding- really?!
- What?!
105
00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,708
- Well, people should know!
We need to warn people
106
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about being poisoned!
- Oh my God!
107
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,875
Well, did you find the source?
- It's fine,
108
00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:48,666
we just needed a new water
heater.
109
00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,333
- Oh, well, you are lucky to be
alive.
110
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,958
You can never be too careful.
111
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,791
I had a friend who died
from falling down.
112
00:03:53,791 --> 00:03:55,541
- What?!
113
00:03:55,541 --> 00:03:57,375
- Yeah, the mere distance
from her head to the floor
114
00:03:57,375 --> 00:03:59,250
was enough to kill her dead.
- Please tell me she was tall.
115
00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,041
- Five one.
- Oh my...
116
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,875
- Don't worry, if you two drop
dead, I will happily...
117
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,458
- Mom!
- step up and raise the cuties!
118
00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:06,958
- Thank you.
That means a lot.
119
00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:09,916
We cannot leave our kids
with Nisha when we-- if we die!
120
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,750
- Can you stop talking
about this?
121
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,625
We're gonna be so old,
we're gonna be disgusting.
122
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,583
We're gonna be dragging our
skin around, throwing it
123
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,375
over our shoulders, and high
fiving our great-grandkids!
124
00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:19,041
- Oh my God,
you're freaking out too!
125
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,958
- All right, I'm freaking out,
okay?
126
00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:22,541
Here it is! I'm freaking out,
are you happy?
127
00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:24,500
- No! We just need a plan.
128
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500
- All right, fine, when I die,
129
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,291
would you just put me
in an urn, like Rhubarb.
130
00:04:28,291 --> 00:04:29,708
- Like...
131
00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,666
Okay, we need a plan for
the people we leave behind.
132
00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:35,541
Rhubarb didn't have a-
you know, mortgage or kids.
133
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,541
- (Sighs) Oh God, he would've
been such a great dad.
134
00:04:37,541 --> 00:04:39,708
- We need a legal guardian
so that my last thought isn't,
135
00:04:39,708 --> 00:04:41,291
should I take the kids with me,
or...
136
00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:43,083
- All right, fine, we'll do it,
we'll talk about it.
137
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We'll decide. And once we have,
138
00:04:44,958 --> 00:04:46,208
we're never talking
about death again!
139
00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:47,958
- Agreed!
140
00:04:47,958 --> 00:04:49,916
So who are these lucky bastards
who inherit our kids?
141
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:52,583
- But I can never get used to
the jet lag going to Singapore.
142
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:55,041
I had to fire an entire
marketing team
143
00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:56,875
on essentially no sleep.
144
00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,583
James and Astrid: Ohh!
- It's okay.
145
00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:00,458
Slept like a baby
on the way back.
146
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:02,583
Pods in first class,
quite comfy.
147
00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:04,125
- Hmm.
148
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:07,125
Anyway, um, so there-there's
actually a reason
149
00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,208
that James and I asked you
both over tonight.
150
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,166
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm,
we were talking about
151
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,583
what great parents you are.
- And Aunt and Uncle.
152
00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:16,208
- Yeah, uh, amazing,
so good, in fact--
153
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:18,125
- Such good work.
- That...
154
00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:20,125
we want--do you wanna...
- Mm-hmm.
155
00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:22,041
- Okay.
156
00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:24,416
- We would like you to be Felix
and Viv's legal guardians.
157
00:05:25,666 --> 00:05:27,583
You know, if anything
ever happens.
158
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:33,875
- Um... yeah,
159
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,583
I mean, that's a big...
160
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,375
o-kay?
161
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,166
- Well, yeah, uh...
162
00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:44,000
- It's okay?
- Mm-hmm!
163
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,750
- You know, if it's too much
of a hassle,
164
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,791
we can just drop our kids off
at the State or the dark web.
165
00:05:47,791 --> 00:05:50,583
- Oh God no!
We love Felix and Viv.
166
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,208
We would absolutely
take care of them
167
00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:53,958
if something happened to you.
168
00:05:53,958 --> 00:05:55,583
- I would take a bullet
for either of them.
169
00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:57,375
- Would you? Take a bullet
from who, Dawn?
170
00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:59,416
If James and I die, it's not
gonna involve the mob!
171
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,291
- It's comforting to know
how you won't die.
172
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:03,375
I've always known that my death
won't involve stones.
173
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:05,000
- You sure?!
174
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,625
- Uh, will you take
our children?
175
00:06:06,625 --> 00:06:08,625
- Of course we would take them.
It's just...
176
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:11,166
two more kids, plus Corey,
there's a lot to consider.
177
00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:13,208
Have you put savings aside?
178
00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:15,250
- Are you asking me how much
they're worth?
179
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,458
- No! But there are practical
financial realities
180
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,208
attached to dying,
you know, Astrid.
181
00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:22,791
- Uh, doi! Yeah, thanks, Dawn,
I do know, thanks!
182
00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:25,083
Relax, we're not about
to dine and dash on life!
183
00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:26,416
- Here's the deal,
we're fairly solvent.
184
00:06:26,416 --> 00:06:28,250
We own almost an eighth
of this house.
185
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,166
- Plus a car!
186
00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:32,791
- Plus a car that's not a great
car, but... snow tires.
187
00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:34,375
- It's got snow tires.
188
00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,416
- Um, do you have
life insurance
189
00:06:36,416 --> 00:06:38,208
and RESPs for the kids?
- Pfft!
190
00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:40,250
Obviously, Bo,
we're not animals!
191
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,125
- (Chokes)
- Oh! Oh my God!
192
00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:44,125
Are you okay?
- Don't look, don't look.
193
00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:47,083
- Wrong pipe, wrong pipe.
(Snorts, gasps)
194
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:49,333
- We are animals.
- No, no, we're not.
195
00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:51,916
I mean, yeah, technically
we are, but not the bad kinds,
196
00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:54,083
like muskrats, or... oh!
Have you ever seen a hagfish?
197
00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:56,791
We just need life insurance.
198
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,500
- Why, so we can get back to my
sister with a sexier offer?!
199
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,666
- And we can start living.
Like, truly living.
200
00:07:02,666 --> 00:07:04,458
- What does that mean?
201
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,833
- Well, you know, like, travel.
You know,
202
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,833
discovering new places.
- Oh, you wanna be a colonizer.
203
00:07:08,833 --> 00:07:10,416
- I could leave my job
for a year.
204
00:07:10,416 --> 00:07:12,333
- Or forever, because you
hate your job?
205
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,291
- Oh, we could go to India,
we'd take the kids to India,
206
00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:16,583
start a farm, maybe.
Like, learn to farm,
207
00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:18,375
and then start a--
- What is happening?
208
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:20,500
Is this a cute little preview
of your mid-life crisis?
209
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,083
- I... I...
210
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,000
You know, I just-is this the
best life we could be living,
211
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,416
or just the safest?
212
00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:31,291
(Floorboards creak)
213
00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:34,000
- Hey.
- Hey Pal, you just lurkin'?
214
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,291
- I had a nightmare.
- Yeah.
215
00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:37,833
- Okay.
216
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,291
- So did your Daddy,
and he's not even asleep.
217
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,291
♪♪♪
218
00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:44,208
- What were you guys
talking about?
219
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:46,166
- Oh, nothing.
220
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,500
- Why does Daddy wanna be
a farmer?
221
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,083
- He doesn't,
he hates fertilizer.
222
00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:53,416
Okay, you have one more
question and then sleep, okay?
223
00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:54,916
- Okay.
224
00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:58,125
What happens when you die?
225
00:07:58,125 --> 00:07:59,916
- (Takes a deep breath)
226
00:07:59,916 --> 00:08:01,958
(Laughs)
227
00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:03,666
- Do you still have birthdays?
228
00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:05,583
- Well, you don't really
get older,
229
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,291
so there's not really
any point.
230
00:08:07,291 --> 00:08:09,791
Okay, sleep time, all right?
231
00:08:09,791 --> 00:08:11,958
- Can you tell when it's going
to be your last birthday ever?
232
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:15,125
- Um...
233
00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:20,750
No one- no one really knows
when it's gonna be
234
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,041
their last birthday.
235
00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:26,083
And you only get one life.
236
00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,625
And when that's over, it's...
237
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,166
it's over forever.
238
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,666
Which is just one more reason
239
00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:36,625
to make every birthday special.
240
00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:38,875
To make every day special.
241
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,333
- Do worms pee?
242
00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:45,250
- Are you kidding me?
243
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,208
I just gave you like,
a great answer.
244
00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:48,708
You need to go to sleep now,
okay?
245
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:49,958
- Good night.
- Good night.
246
00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:52,416
♪♪♪
247
00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:56,250
(Light buzzes loudly)
248
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:59,625
♪♪♪
249
00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,541
(Photocopier whirs)
250
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,208
(Stapler clicks loudly)
251
00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:09,791
(Repeated stapling clicks)
252
00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,416
(Phone rings, copier whirs)
253
00:09:14,875 --> 00:09:16,916
(Stapler clicks loudly)
254
00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:18,625
(Heartbeat thuds)
255
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,541
Ennis: James? James!
256
00:09:21,791 --> 00:09:23,416
You okay?
- Huh? Yeah.
257
00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:25,208
No, I'm, I'm okay, why?
258
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:27,208
- Well, we can't both not be
working, it's too conspicuous.
259
00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:29,250
We could trade off if you want,
or you could just go back
260
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,791
to working all the time,
I'd prefer that one.
261
00:09:30,791 --> 00:09:32,333
- (Sighs heavily)
262
00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:33,916
- Okay, we need all
hands on deck
263
00:09:33,916 --> 00:09:36,166
for what I can only describe
as a crisis.
264
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:37,333
- Okay, well, what is it?
265
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,250
- Kiwis.
266
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:41,416
Our California supplier
is experiencing a kiwi shortage
267
00:09:41,416 --> 00:09:43,458
due to a root fungus plague.
268
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,333
- Oh, yeah,
I've had that before.
269
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,208
- And because we're not one
of the big chains,
270
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:50,333
they're icing us out.
- What about another supplier?
271
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,375
- We can't afford to offend
our regular supplier
272
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,250
by going somewhere else
for a one-off. It's too risky!
273
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:56,375
- Dammit! It really doesn't
sound like there's anything
274
00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:58,208
we could do about it.
275
00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,291
- We will get kiwis into our
store, so help me God, Ennis!
276
00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:02,208
- Well, we're not the ones
taking the risk, Marla,
277
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:04,041
our suppliers need us
more than we need them.
278
00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:06,875
- I don't usually like to be
contradicted, James,
279
00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:09,583
but it sounds like you want
to exploit someone's weakness.
280
00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:11,333
- Oh yeah, he can be ruthless.
281
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:12,708
One time when we were
roommates,
282
00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:15,208
he used fruit flies' love
of fruit against them
283
00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:17,250
to devastating effect,
it was a slaughter.
284
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,708
- (Claps) Okay!
285
00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:20,750
We're gonna go with James'
new supplier plan,
286
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,125
and I will try and keep
the Board at bay with emails.
287
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,583
- This is the crisis?
288
00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,583
There's people in the world
with not enough food,
289
00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:33,625
and we're worried about...
fruit salad in Burlington.
290
00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,750
- Yeah, it's stupid that
we have to work.
291
00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:40,416
And kiwis are the ones that
look like dinosaur eggs, right?
292
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:43,500
♪♪♪
293
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,708
(Children laugh
and shout playfully)
294
00:10:46,708 --> 00:10:49,041
Astrid: Hey, Viv! Be careful
with the-the fingers.
295
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,125
Okay?
296
00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:53,833
So, any plans for the weekend?
297
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:56,791
- Oh, probably just sleep in,
298
00:10:56,791 --> 00:10:58,916
catch up on reality shows.
299
00:10:58,916 --> 00:11:00,750
(Yells) Cooper,
I swear to Christ,
300
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,500
slow the F down!
301
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,416
Drink a bottle of wine or two.
302
00:11:04,416 --> 00:11:06,166
- Oh, it's a weekend without
the kids, then, huh?
303
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,625
- Pssh! I wish!
304
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,333
Dynasty, don't eat dirt!
305
00:11:11,666 --> 00:11:14,166
What about you?
- Oh, not much.
306
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:17,375
Um, can I ask you a question?
307
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:19,375
Do you-do you have life
insurance?
308
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:21,500
I'm not selling it,
I'm just curious.
309
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:24,125
- Uh-Ashley Lynn Mercedes get
your hands out of your pants!
310
00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:28,791
God! Who has time
for life insurance?
311
00:11:28,791 --> 00:11:31,541
- Oh, I can't tell you, I'm so
happy to hear you say that.
312
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:33,791
Because I've been feeling like
such a loser for not having it.
313
00:11:33,791 --> 00:11:35,416
- Oh my gosh, please!
314
00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:37,666
Life is busy enough.
315
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:39,708
And what, now we have
all these baking videos,
316
00:11:39,708 --> 00:11:41,750
you know, making us feel like
shit because we can't bake
317
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,666
a cake that looks like
a bag of Doritos?!
318
00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:46,083
- Yes, preach it.
- Yeah, and everyone is
319
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:48,458
just like...
"get a family doctor,"
320
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,000
"get their ears tested,"
"get them vaccinated,
321
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,208
wear a mask," and on,
and on, and on, and...
322
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:54,791
- I mean, you should,
323
00:11:54,791 --> 00:11:56,958
you should probably
get them vaccinated.
324
00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:58,833
- I mean, who knows
what to believe anymore?
325
00:11:58,833 --> 00:12:01,458
Plus two out of four
are vaccinated.
326
00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:04,208
- Okay, so you're just hedging
your bets on immunity.
327
00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:06,625
- Yes, exactly, thank you.
328
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:08,541
You get it.
We're the same.
329
00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,541
- Okay.
- Cooper!
330
00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:12,458
Cooper, do not touch
that dead squirrel!
331
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:13,875
(Running footsteps thud)
332
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:18,583
♪♪♪
333
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,708
James: Well, we got a new water heater.
334
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,458
Wanna rock, paper, scissors
335
00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:24,916
to see who gets the first
hot shower?
336
00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:26,791
- No, I'll just go first.
- Hmm.
337
00:12:26,791 --> 00:12:28,750
- I found an insurance company.
- Oh, that's great.
338
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:31,083
Takes the pressure off of uh,
you know, staying alive.
339
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,875
- Yeah, they're gonna send
someone over to give us
340
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,083
an assessment this weekend,
so the healthier we are,
341
00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:37,083
the lower the premiums.
- We're healthy, look at us.
342
00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:39,000
- Well, we drink.
343
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,083
And when was the last time
you smoked?
344
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,791
- Weed's legal now, and also
it was like, half a joint
345
00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:45,958
a month ago,
also, it was hash, I think.
346
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:48,083
- You smoked hash? Where?
347
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,791
- The-at the Settlers of Catan
night with the boys.
348
00:12:50,791 --> 00:12:53,250
- Okay, well, that will cost us
thousands of dollars a year.
349
00:12:54,416 --> 00:12:56,916
If they find out.
350
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,500
- Ohh!
351
00:13:01,666 --> 00:13:04,208
Oh hey, I don't uh--oh.
352
00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,041
Oh yeah, come on in,
you're the insurance lady?
353
00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:07,791
- Sorry, hi, yes,
I'm June.
354
00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:11,083
No. Sorry. I'm Jenn.
(Laughs)
355
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,750
Oh jeez, I-I lost one.
- It's okay, it's all right.
356
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,958
I just, I forgot you were
coming, actually.
357
00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:17,458
I totally did, and I was
about to do my 10K,
358
00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:19,333
but it's all right. I'll just-
I'll do it-I'll do 20 tomorrow.
359
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,500
- Yeah. What does the "K"
stand for?
360
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,333
- Hey, look who it is.
Jenn, this is my wife, Astrid.
361
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,791
- Hi!
- Hello.
362
00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:26,791
- She's the smoothie-head.
- Oh!
363
00:13:26,791 --> 00:13:28,708
(Laughs) Hi, hi.
364
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,541
Honey, quick question,
what would you like for dinner,
365
00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:32,458
quinoa or spelt?
- Oh, spelt.
366
00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:35,125
Just saying the word makes
my mouth water. Spelt.
367
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:37,375
Felix: Mom, where are the gummy worms?
368
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,250
- At the store where
we left 'em!
369
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,375
(Laughs) Where do they
get this? So ew!
370
00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:43,125
- It's not at this...
371
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,416
Jenn: Okay, so I'm gonna ask
you some standard
372
00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:48,958
health questions. Uh, don't be
nervous, just be honest.
373
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,916
- What, people actually lie
on these things,
374
00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:53,750
that is so unnecessary.
- James, stop.
375
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,541
- Okay, do either of you smoke?
376
00:13:55,541 --> 00:13:57,125
- No.
- Never.
377
00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:59,375
- Okay. And do you drink?
378
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:01,125
- A glass of wine or two
with dinner.
379
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:02,833
- Maybe just on the weekends.
- I mean, just like, not even--
380
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,500
- Sure.
381
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,416
- Always with food, a lot.
- Always with food. Yeah.
382
00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,916
- I mean, we try to balance
so it's-yeah.
383
00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,875
- Rarely.
- Just not a big fan.
384
00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:11,708
- Rarely. Love a pun.
Absolutely.
385
00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:14,208
How often do you exercise?
- Three to five times a week.
386
00:14:16,375 --> 00:14:18,625
- Okay.
387
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,666
Um, what about marijuana
consumption?
388
00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:24,000
- Gross.
- Really not a fan.
389
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,291
- Okay, you know what?
You guys are so healthy.
390
00:14:28,541 --> 00:14:29,750
- Oh!
- Oh, I don't--
391
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,875
- Us! You're kidding.
392
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,166
- This is you saving
a dead person.
393
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,833
- Oh, aren't you just
the sweetest!
394
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:38,625
Thank you.
395
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,875
- And this is a picture of a
ghost trying to eat a pizza.
396
00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:43,041
But his ghost mouth keeps
going through it.
397
00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:44,750
- Oh my goodness, you know,
398
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:47,375
I can barely draw my own name
most days, thank you!
399
00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:49,791
All right, you're ideal
customers.
400
00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:52,000
Honestly, I wish my life was
half as together as yours,
401
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,625
but it's not.
402
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,625
Okay, because I made some
mistakes about seven years ago.
403
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:59,125
So once we complete
your physical exam,
404
00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,083
I'll get out of your hair.
Both: Physical?
405
00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,958
- Of course.
- Oh crap.
406
00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:05,750
We thought the exam was more
like a, like a written test.
407
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:07,791
- (Laughs)
408
00:15:07,791 --> 00:15:09,916
Well, hey, it's as you said,
you guys are healthy.
409
00:15:09,916 --> 00:15:11,750
These tests, they're just
gonna prove that.
410
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,500
- (Groans)
411
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,083
Oh.
412
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:19,208
♪♪♪
413
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,583
- Hi.
414
00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,166
- James and I have opened
RESPs for the kids,
415
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:25,916
which we will contribute
to regularly.
416
00:15:25,916 --> 00:15:27,916
- How? Wonderful.
417
00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:30,083
- We are also getting life
insurance which covers
418
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:32,291
everything except skydiving
accidents, and acts of war.
419
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,708
If, however,
and this is important,
420
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,916
we get murdered by you or Bo,
you will get nothing.
421
00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:38,958
- Bo wouldn't hurt a fly.
422
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:41,333
- Are my kids good enough
for you now, Dawn?
423
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,500
- Bo and I were always happy
to take them, always,
424
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,583
we just had some money
questions, that's all.
425
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,083
Three kids is a lot of kids.
- No, it isn't.
426
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:50,208
It's not unmanageable,
people do it.
427
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,958
- Three of anything
is too much.
428
00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:55,041
Two cars is reasonable,
three is pure vanity.
429
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,000
Two beers is a nice drive home,
three, potential manslaughter.
430
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,125
Two bananas is a lot--
- Two examples is enough,
431
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,833
three is carrying on a bit.
432
00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:04,833
Look, just so you know,
James and I would be happy
433
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,666
to take Corey if anything
ever happened to you or Bo,
434
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,875
no questions asked.
435
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,791
- No, if anything happens to us,
436
00:16:09,791 --> 00:16:11,041
Corey is gonna live
with Bo's brother.
437
00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,625
- What?
438
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,208
- Well, Trevor has the cottage,
he's well-off,
439
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:16,833
and has no heirs.
- Wow.
440
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,916
All right, if you guys die
after we both die,
441
00:16:18,916 --> 00:16:21,166
Trevor takes our kids, too.
Checkmate!
442
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,041
♪♪♪
443
00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:24,875
- (Sighs)
444
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:26,958
(Birds chirp)
445
00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:27,916
(Phones ring,
low hum of chatter)
446
00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:30,541
- Mmm!
447
00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:31,750
- The burgers just got here...
448
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,916
- You guys got burgers?
- (Clapping)
449
00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:38,458
- Hey!
- We're celebrating.
450
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:42,125
Today was a thrilling,
challenging, magical day.
451
00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:44,000
- So the guy I called
is gonna sell us some kiwis?
452
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,791
- Cute little hairy apples.
453
00:16:45,791 --> 00:16:47,666
- And we terminated our
agreement
454
00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:50,083
with the old supplier--
a message to the produce world
455
00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:52,041
that we will not be screwed
with!
456
00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:54,166
- No, no, no, no!
A new supplier in Chile
457
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:56,125
means a way larger carbon
footprint.
458
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:58,000
- As unfortunate as that is,
459
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,041
the environment doesn't sit
on the Board.
460
00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,958
And the Board is impressed
by you.
461
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:04,833
- Great.
- It is great,
462
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:07,166
because they've agreed
to make you...
463
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:10,333
regional manager
of the new franchises.
464
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,125
- Hey! Hey, come on.
(Both applaud)
465
00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:15,583
Now he's not my boss now,
right, we're still equals?
466
00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:18,000
- You and I are gonna be here
for a long time, James.
467
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,083
I've got big plans for us!
468
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,000
- You should have a celebration
burger!
469
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,166
Don't hide from me!
Come on!
470
00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:27,291
(Heartbeat thuds)
471
00:17:27,291 --> 00:17:28,833
(Thuds speed up)
472
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:33,291
♪♪♪
473
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:34,708
- Hey, James.
474
00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:39,125
- I don't want it.
475
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,750
- Okay, well they have
a non-meat option, I think,
476
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,708
if that's what you're--
- I can't do this anymore.
477
00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:45,875
I can't be a lifer here.
I quit.
478
00:17:48,291 --> 00:17:49,666
(Sighs deeply)
479
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,875
Mm-hmm.
480
00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:58,875
Okay, I'm just gonna go.
481
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,833
(Car rumbles to a halt)
482
00:18:06,833 --> 00:18:08,458
(Brakes squeal)
483
00:18:10,208 --> 00:18:12,333
(Engine shuts off)
484
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,333
♪♪♪
485
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,000
(Keys jingle)
486
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,875
(Door opens, shuts)
487
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,750
Astrid: Being a parent means taking on a lot of stress.
488
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,125
You worry about their headaches,
489
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,083
you get angry when they use your phone
490
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:25,041
to take pictures of you sleeping.
491
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,666
James: And the stress takes a toll on your body.
492
00:18:26,666 --> 00:18:28,750
High blood pressure, increased chance of diabetes,
493
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,583
it can take years off your life.
494
00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:32,833
Astrid: The stress might also cause you to make rash,
495
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:35,500
life-changing decisions without first checking in with your--
496
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,958
James: Yeah, more of a health thing though,
497
00:18:37,958 --> 00:18:39,666
which is why so much of parenting
498
00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:41,625
is about calming down. Astrid: Catching your breath.
499
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,375
And preparing yourself for...
500
00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,208
more stress.
501
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,166
- Okay, but check it again.
502
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,875
Well, check both of them.
503
00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:50,625
(Keys jingle)
504
00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:52,083
Check with the pharmacy...
(Bag clatters, keys jingle)
505
00:18:53,416 --> 00:18:55,208
- Hey, you're home early,
everything okay?
506
00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:56,958
- Yep, it's uh...
507
00:18:56,958 --> 00:18:58,666
(Clears throat)
I have huge news.
508
00:18:58,666 --> 00:19:00,375
- Okay, well, it's gonna have
to wait.
509
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,250
- Huh. Oh my God, this lady?
510
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:04,500
- Oh! Sorry about that.
511
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,458
I was worried that I left
the front door unlocked,
512
00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:09,166
but really I just left
the stove on. (Laughs)
513
00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:11,458
Okay, it's good
you're both here.
514
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,625
So there was a little bit
of a mix-up
515
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:15,666
with your bloodwork at the lab.
516
00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:17,166
It could've been anybody's
fault.
517
00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,416
Mmm! That's from yesterday.
518
00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:21,500
Pretty lumpy. Okay.
519
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,041
Um, all right. So it seems
I found out some stuff
520
00:19:24,041 --> 00:19:26,875
that you didn't actually
disclose.
521
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:30,291
You little sneaks!
- All right fine, I smoke weed.
522
00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:32,625
I mean, it's not a lot,
but it-it's enough.
523
00:19:32,625 --> 00:19:34,333
In fact, I'm gonna smoke
a little bit when you leave.
524
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:36,166
- James.
525
00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:38,416
- No, that's not what it was,
but thank you for telling me,
526
00:19:38,416 --> 00:19:40,208
because that's absolutely
gonna increase your premiums.
527
00:19:40,208 --> 00:19:41,875
- You bet.
528
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:44,125
- No, I came to make sure
that Astrid really wants
529
00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:46,625
to get insured now.
530
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:50,250
- Well, no one really wants
to get insured, ever,
531
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:52,666
(Laughs)
but what's wrong with now?
532
00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:54,791
- It's just that it'll be
cheaper if you do it after.
533
00:19:54,791 --> 00:19:56,041
- After what?
534
00:19:57,166 --> 00:19:59,458
- The baby.
Viv: No!
535
00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:05,708
- Oh my God, you didn't know
you're pregnant!
536
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,541
- James, we're having a baby.
537
00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:14,666
- I just quit my job.
538
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,166
♪♪♪
539
00:20:20,166 --> 00:20:22,166
(Heartbeats thud)
540
00:20:24,541 --> 00:20:26,541
- I used to fish a lot
when I was a kid.
541
00:20:26,541 --> 00:20:28,958
My Dad used to take me to the
same fishing hole every summer.
542
00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:30,666
Unfortunately, he stood up
in the boat one summer,
543
00:20:30,666 --> 00:20:32,458
and off he went.
544
00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:35,208
And well, we searched for
hours, but we never found him.
545
00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,125
But we did find his rod.
546
00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,625
Now, this rod is a very
lucky rod.
547
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,000
Which I have written,
"Nature Boy" on the side of.
548
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,958
And that's the kind of rod
I take out.
549
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,708
I'll tell you something,
you've seen Nature Boy.
550
00:20:44,708 --> 00:20:46,333
I bring it in the truck
sometimes, to show off.
551
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,458
Because I feel like just
having that rod around
552
00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:50,250
brings back my father,
and also brings me luck.
553
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,875
♪ I love my kids
But kids ruin everything ♪
554
00:20:53,875 --> 00:20:56,166
♪ Everything
Kids ruin everything ♪
555
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:59,333
♪ I love my kids
But kids ruin everything ♪
556
00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,166
♪ Everything
Kids ruin everything ♪
557
00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:03,291
♪ No more sleeping in ♪
558
00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:06,375
♪ I've got kids in my bed ♪
559
00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:09,291
♪ I never knew but now I see ♪
560
00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:12,250
♪ Children ruin everything ♪
561
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:17,583
♪♪♪
562
00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:20,041
♪ I never knew but now I see ♪
563
00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,000
♪ I really hate this sh-- ♪
42986
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