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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,041 --> 00:00:04,583 ♪♪♪ 2 00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:08,250 (Crickets chirp, dog barks, muted music plays) 3 00:00:09,458 --> 00:00:10,833 (Phone buttons click) 4 00:00:10,833 --> 00:00:12,500 (Message alert sounds) 5 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:14,416 (Music plays softly) 6 00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:16,875 - God, the houses in P.E.I. are so cheap. 7 00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:18,750 - Hmm - We should move there. 8 00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:20,791 - What is that, like, "Anne of Green Gables?" 9 00:00:20,791 --> 00:00:22,916 I can't live like that. - I think it's modern now. 10 00:00:22,916 --> 00:00:25,291 - Mmm... ah, I can't risk it. 11 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,875 (Cell phone buzzes) 12 00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:29,583 - (Laughs) - Oh, what do you got? 13 00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:31,541 - Felix and Viv locked themselves 14 00:00:31,541 --> 00:00:33,000 in my Mom's bathroom. 15 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,291 "Not our problem tonight, Mother!" 16 00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:39,250 - Yeah. Yeah! It's not our problem. 17 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:41,083 What are we doing on our phones? 18 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,291 We've got wine, we've got each other, 19 00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:45,083 it's only 9:30. - Mmm! 20 00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:46,500 - Mm... 21 00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,500 - Get ready for the night of your-- 22 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,500 (James snores loudly) 23 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,958 (Crickets chirp) 24 00:00:51,958 --> 00:00:53,541 (Loud piercing beep) 25 00:00:53,541 --> 00:00:55,291 Both: (Waking groans) 26 00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:57,791 - Is that a car alarm? Who would steal our car? 27 00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,333 - It's a bad car! (Beeping continues) 28 00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,791 Is that the... 29 00:01:01,791 --> 00:01:04,000 is that the carbon monoxide detector? 30 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,041 - (Gasps) 31 00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:08,541 (Firefighter radios chatter) 32 00:01:08,541 --> 00:01:09,916 (Machine hums) 33 00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:11,916 - Nice! Who's the stargazer? 34 00:01:11,916 --> 00:01:14,041 - Oh yeah, that would be me. 35 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:17,250 - Ha! You check out that Saturn Jupiter conjunction last year? 36 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,666 - Oh! No! I-I... but I'll definitely get the next one. 37 00:01:19,666 --> 00:01:21,916 - Ah, maybe. It's in 60 years. 38 00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:24,916 - Well, it was-it's on YouTube, I'm sure, so. 39 00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:27,291 - You got a lot of towels over there by the furnace. 40 00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:29,875 - Oh, well, that explains the carbon monoxide. 41 00:01:29,875 --> 00:01:31,875 - No, that's just a straight-up fire hazard. 42 00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:33,750 - Like your house is perfect? - What's that? 43 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,750 - Hmm? - Shh! Shh! 44 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,625 - Oh okay, so your leak is coming from your water heater, 45 00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:39,041 which I assume came with the house? 46 00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:41,166 - Yeah, we're also assuming that. - Sure. 47 00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:43,083 - Well, that has to be replaced ASAP. 48 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:45,041 - Now, how ASAP is ASAP? - Yeah, we got a roof issue 49 00:01:45,041 --> 00:01:46,833 that's been ASAP for years. 50 00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:48,625 - And while we're ASAP-ing things, I'd love a skylight 51 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,375 in the mud room. (All laugh) 52 00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:52,500 - I'd say pretty ASAP, if that alarm hadn't gone off, 53 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,666 you both would've been dead by morning. 54 00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:57,291 ♪♪♪ 55 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,166 Hey! Who likes to fish? That's a fun hobby. 56 00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:02,375 (Alcohol pours) - You want one of these? 57 00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:04,958 - No, I'm fine. I'm totally fine. 58 00:02:06,958 --> 00:02:08,916 Astrid: Before kids, we never thought about death. 59 00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:10,833 Too busy living. James: We could take risks 60 00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:12,833 like speeding or eating day-old sushi. 61 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,541 Astrid: I used to walk through High Park alone, at night, 62 00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:15,958 with headphones on. 63 00:02:15,958 --> 00:02:18,000 James: Now the riskiest thing I do is jaywalk, 64 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,916 or pet a dog I don't know, because we have to stay alive. 65 00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:22,791 Astrid: And we have to keep our kids alive. 66 00:02:22,791 --> 00:02:24,625 James: Ohh! Astrid: Which isn't easy. 67 00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,208 Because the Venn Diagram of things that exist 68 00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,291 and things that can hurt your kids is just a circle. 69 00:02:28,291 --> 00:02:30,291 - Poisoned by gas, that's... 70 00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:32,250 uh, is there a more embarrassing way to die? 71 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:33,958 - Oh, so you wanna die in a cool way, 72 00:02:33,958 --> 00:02:37,000 like a volcano or drowning with Harry Styles? 73 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,291 - How are you so calm? Our house is attacking us! 74 00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:41,291 We almost died! - No, we didn't. 75 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:43,041 - I cut my finger on the mailbox the other day, 76 00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,875 it could've been my throat, the house is trying to kill us! 77 00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,708 - Okay. 78 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,958 I'm gonna go let the bed smother me to sleep. 79 00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:51,208 We have kids again tomorrow. 80 00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:54,666 ♪♪♪ 81 00:02:54,666 --> 00:02:57,125 (Birds chirp) 82 00:02:57,125 --> 00:02:59,541 (Explosions and crash on TV) Cartoon Character: My bad! 83 00:02:59,541 --> 00:03:01,333 (Door shuts) - Hi! - Hello! 84 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,958 - Oh, hello, come in! 85 00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:04,916 The kids have been absolute angels. 86 00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:06,875 - Thank you so much. Mom! Really?! 87 00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:08,708 Marshmallows out of the bag? 88 00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:10,166 - Treats are allowed at Nanima's house. 89 00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,208 Those are the rules. - It's ten in the morning. Hi! 90 00:03:12,208 --> 00:03:13,833 - Mommy! - Daddy! 91 00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:15,791 James: Big hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Yeah! 92 00:03:15,791 --> 00:03:17,666 - Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi! - Mm, I love you. 93 00:03:17,666 --> 00:03:20,208 - Hi! Oh my goodness. Wow, what's all this? 94 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,125 - Nanima said I look beautiful. 95 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,583 - Well, you're always beautiful and smart. 96 00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:26,833 And impressionable. - Oh, pffft! 97 00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:28,625 Why don't you guys go see if there's marshmallows 98 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,291 in the cushions? 99 00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:32,666 So what'd you two do last night? 100 00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:34,708 Just give a wink if it was R-rated. (Click tongue) 101 00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:36,750 - Mom, no, nothing, it was quiet, very quiet. 102 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,333 We watched a movie, we went to bed. 103 00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:39,958 - Almost got smothered to death by a carbon monoxide leak. 104 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,875 - Are you kidding- really?! - What?! 105 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,708 - Well, people should know! We need to warn people 106 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,000 about being poisoned! - Oh my God! 107 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,875 Well, did you find the source? - It's fine, 108 00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:48,666 we just needed a new water heater. 109 00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:50,333 - Oh, well, you are lucky to be alive. 110 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,958 You can never be too careful. 111 00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,791 I had a friend who died from falling down. 112 00:03:53,791 --> 00:03:55,541 - What?! 113 00:03:55,541 --> 00:03:57,375 - Yeah, the mere distance from her head to the floor 114 00:03:57,375 --> 00:03:59,250 was enough to kill her dead. - Please tell me she was tall. 115 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,041 - Five one. - Oh my... 116 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,875 - Don't worry, if you two drop dead, I will happily... 117 00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,458 - Mom! - step up and raise the cuties! 118 00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:06,958 - Thank you. That means a lot. 119 00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:09,916 We cannot leave our kids with Nisha when we-- if we die! 120 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,750 - Can you stop talking about this? 121 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,625 We're gonna be so old, we're gonna be disgusting. 122 00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,583 We're gonna be dragging our skin around, throwing it 123 00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,375 over our shoulders, and high fiving our great-grandkids! 124 00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:19,041 - Oh my God, you're freaking out too! 125 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,958 - All right, I'm freaking out, okay? 126 00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:22,541 Here it is! I'm freaking out, are you happy? 127 00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:24,500 - No! We just need a plan. 128 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,500 - All right, fine, when I die, 129 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,291 would you just put me in an urn, like Rhubarb. 130 00:04:28,291 --> 00:04:29,708 - Like... 131 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,666 Okay, we need a plan for the people we leave behind. 132 00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:35,541 Rhubarb didn't have a- you know, mortgage or kids. 133 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,541 - (Sighs) Oh God, he would've been such a great dad. 134 00:04:37,541 --> 00:04:39,708 - We need a legal guardian so that my last thought isn't, 135 00:04:39,708 --> 00:04:41,291 should I take the kids with me, or... 136 00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:43,083 - All right, fine, we'll do it, we'll talk about it. 137 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,958 We'll decide. And once we have, 138 00:04:44,958 --> 00:04:46,208 we're never talking about death again! 139 00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:47,958 - Agreed! 140 00:04:47,958 --> 00:04:49,916 So who are these lucky bastards who inherit our kids? 141 00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:52,583 - But I can never get used to the jet lag going to Singapore. 142 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:55,041 I had to fire an entire marketing team 143 00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:56,875 on essentially no sleep. 144 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,583 James and Astrid: Ohh! - It's okay. 145 00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:00,458 Slept like a baby on the way back. 146 00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:02,583 Pods in first class, quite comfy. 147 00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:04,125 - Hmm. 148 00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:07,125 Anyway, um, so there-there's actually a reason 149 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,208 that James and I asked you both over tonight. 150 00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,166 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, we were talking about 151 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,583 what great parents you are. - And Aunt and Uncle. 152 00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:16,208 - Yeah, uh, amazing, so good, in fact-- 153 00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:18,125 - Such good work. - That... 154 00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:20,125 we want--do you wanna... - Mm-hmm. 155 00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:22,041 - Okay. 156 00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:24,416 - We would like you to be Felix and Viv's legal guardians. 157 00:05:25,666 --> 00:05:27,583 You know, if anything ever happens. 158 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:33,875 - Um... yeah, 159 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,583 I mean, that's a big... 160 00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,375 o-kay? 161 00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,166 - Well, yeah, uh... 162 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:44,000 - It's okay? - Mm-hmm! 163 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,750 - You know, if it's too much of a hassle, 164 00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,791 we can just drop our kids off at the State or the dark web. 165 00:05:47,791 --> 00:05:50,583 - Oh God no! We love Felix and Viv. 166 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,208 We would absolutely take care of them 167 00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:53,958 if something happened to you. 168 00:05:53,958 --> 00:05:55,583 - I would take a bullet for either of them. 169 00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:57,375 - Would you? Take a bullet from who, Dawn? 170 00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:59,416 If James and I die, it's not gonna involve the mob! 171 00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,291 - It's comforting to know how you won't die. 172 00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:03,375 I've always known that my death won't involve stones. 173 00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:05,000 - You sure?! 174 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,625 - Uh, will you take our children? 175 00:06:06,625 --> 00:06:08,625 - Of course we would take them. It's just... 176 00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:11,166 two more kids, plus Corey, there's a lot to consider. 177 00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:13,208 Have you put savings aside? 178 00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:15,250 - Are you asking me how much they're worth? 179 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,458 - No! But there are practical financial realities 180 00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,208 attached to dying, you know, Astrid. 181 00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:22,791 - Uh, doi! Yeah, thanks, Dawn, I do know, thanks! 182 00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:25,083 Relax, we're not about to dine and dash on life! 183 00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:26,416 - Here's the deal, we're fairly solvent. 184 00:06:26,416 --> 00:06:28,250 We own almost an eighth of this house. 185 00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,166 - Plus a car! 186 00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:32,791 - Plus a car that's not a great car, but... snow tires. 187 00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:34,375 - It's got snow tires. 188 00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,416 - Um, do you have life insurance 189 00:06:36,416 --> 00:06:38,208 and RESPs for the kids? - Pfft! 190 00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:40,250 Obviously, Bo, we're not animals! 191 00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,125 - (Chokes) - Oh! Oh my God! 192 00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:44,125 Are you okay? - Don't look, don't look. 193 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:47,083 - Wrong pipe, wrong pipe. (Snorts, gasps) 194 00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:49,333 - We are animals. - No, no, we're not. 195 00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:51,916 I mean, yeah, technically we are, but not the bad kinds, 196 00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:54,083 like muskrats, or... oh! Have you ever seen a hagfish? 197 00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:56,791 We just need life insurance. 198 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,500 - Why, so we can get back to my sister with a sexier offer?! 199 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,666 - And we can start living. Like, truly living. 200 00:07:02,666 --> 00:07:04,458 - What does that mean? 201 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,833 - Well, you know, like, travel. You know, 202 00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,833 discovering new places. - Oh, you wanna be a colonizer. 203 00:07:08,833 --> 00:07:10,416 - I could leave my job for a year. 204 00:07:10,416 --> 00:07:12,333 - Or forever, because you hate your job? 205 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,291 - Oh, we could go to India, we'd take the kids to India, 206 00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:16,583 start a farm, maybe. Like, learn to farm, 207 00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:18,375 and then start a-- - What is happening? 208 00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:20,500 Is this a cute little preview of your mid-life crisis? 209 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,083 - I... I... 210 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,000 You know, I just-is this the best life we could be living, 211 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,416 or just the safest? 212 00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:31,291 (Floorboards creak) 213 00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:34,000 - Hey. - Hey Pal, you just lurkin'? 214 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,291 - I had a nightmare. - Yeah. 215 00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:37,833 - Okay. 216 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,291 - So did your Daddy, and he's not even asleep. 217 00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,291 ♪♪♪ 218 00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:44,208 - What were you guys talking about? 219 00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:46,166 - Oh, nothing. 220 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,500 - Why does Daddy wanna be a farmer? 221 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,083 - He doesn't, he hates fertilizer. 222 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:53,416 Okay, you have one more question and then sleep, okay? 223 00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:54,916 - Okay. 224 00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:58,125 What happens when you die? 225 00:07:58,125 --> 00:07:59,916 - (Takes a deep breath) 226 00:07:59,916 --> 00:08:01,958 (Laughs) 227 00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:03,666 - Do you still have birthdays? 228 00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:05,583 - Well, you don't really get older, 229 00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,291 so there's not really any point. 230 00:08:07,291 --> 00:08:09,791 Okay, sleep time, all right? 231 00:08:09,791 --> 00:08:11,958 - Can you tell when it's going to be your last birthday ever? 232 00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:15,125 - Um... 233 00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:20,750 No one- no one really knows when it's gonna be 234 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,041 their last birthday. 235 00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:26,083 And you only get one life. 236 00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,625 And when that's over, it's... 237 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,166 it's over forever. 238 00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,666 Which is just one more reason 239 00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:36,625 to make every birthday special. 240 00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:38,875 To make every day special. 241 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,333 - Do worms pee? 242 00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:45,250 - Are you kidding me? 243 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,208 I just gave you like, a great answer. 244 00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:48,708 You need to go to sleep now, okay? 245 00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:49,958 - Good night. - Good night. 246 00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:52,416 ♪♪♪ 247 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:56,250 (Light buzzes loudly) 248 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:59,625 ♪♪♪ 249 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,541 (Photocopier whirs) 250 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,208 (Stapler clicks loudly) 251 00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:09,791 (Repeated stapling clicks) 252 00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,416 (Phone rings, copier whirs) 253 00:09:14,875 --> 00:09:16,916 (Stapler clicks loudly) 254 00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:18,625 (Heartbeat thuds) 255 00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,541 Ennis: James? James! 256 00:09:21,791 --> 00:09:23,416 You okay? - Huh? Yeah. 257 00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:25,208 No, I'm, I'm okay, why? 258 00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:27,208 - Well, we can't both not be working, it's too conspicuous. 259 00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:29,250 We could trade off if you want, or you could just go back 260 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,791 to working all the time, I'd prefer that one. 261 00:09:30,791 --> 00:09:32,333 - (Sighs heavily) 262 00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:33,916 - Okay, we need all hands on deck 263 00:09:33,916 --> 00:09:36,166 for what I can only describe as a crisis. 264 00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:37,333 - Okay, well, what is it? 265 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,250 - Kiwis. 266 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:41,416 Our California supplier is experiencing a kiwi shortage 267 00:09:41,416 --> 00:09:43,458 due to a root fungus plague. 268 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,333 - Oh, yeah, I've had that before. 269 00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,208 - And because we're not one of the big chains, 270 00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:50,333 they're icing us out. - What about another supplier? 271 00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,375 - We can't afford to offend our regular supplier 272 00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,250 by going somewhere else for a one-off. It's too risky! 273 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:56,375 - Dammit! It really doesn't sound like there's anything 274 00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:58,208 we could do about it. 275 00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,291 - We will get kiwis into our store, so help me God, Ennis! 276 00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:02,208 - Well, we're not the ones taking the risk, Marla, 277 00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:04,041 our suppliers need us more than we need them. 278 00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:06,875 - I don't usually like to be contradicted, James, 279 00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:09,583 but it sounds like you want to exploit someone's weakness. 280 00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:11,333 - Oh yeah, he can be ruthless. 281 00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:12,708 One time when we were roommates, 282 00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:15,208 he used fruit flies' love of fruit against them 283 00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:17,250 to devastating effect, it was a slaughter. 284 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,708 - (Claps) Okay! 285 00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:20,750 We're gonna go with James' new supplier plan, 286 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,125 and I will try and keep the Board at bay with emails. 287 00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,583 - This is the crisis? 288 00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,583 There's people in the world with not enough food, 289 00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:33,625 and we're worried about... fruit salad in Burlington. 290 00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,750 - Yeah, it's stupid that we have to work. 291 00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:40,416 And kiwis are the ones that look like dinosaur eggs, right? 292 00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:43,500 ♪♪♪ 293 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,708 (Children laugh and shout playfully) 294 00:10:46,708 --> 00:10:49,041 Astrid: Hey, Viv! Be careful with the-the fingers. 295 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,125 Okay? 296 00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:53,833 So, any plans for the weekend? 297 00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:56,791 - Oh, probably just sleep in, 298 00:10:56,791 --> 00:10:58,916 catch up on reality shows. 299 00:10:58,916 --> 00:11:00,750 (Yells) Cooper, I swear to Christ, 300 00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,500 slow the F down! 301 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,416 Drink a bottle of wine or two. 302 00:11:04,416 --> 00:11:06,166 - Oh, it's a weekend without the kids, then, huh? 303 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,625 - Pssh! I wish! 304 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,333 Dynasty, don't eat dirt! 305 00:11:11,666 --> 00:11:14,166 What about you? - Oh, not much. 306 00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:17,375 Um, can I ask you a question? 307 00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:19,375 Do you-do you have life insurance? 308 00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:21,500 I'm not selling it, I'm just curious. 309 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:24,125 - Uh-Ashley Lynn Mercedes get your hands out of your pants! 310 00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:28,791 God! Who has time for life insurance? 311 00:11:28,791 --> 00:11:31,541 - Oh, I can't tell you, I'm so happy to hear you say that. 312 00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:33,791 Because I've been feeling like such a loser for not having it. 313 00:11:33,791 --> 00:11:35,416 - Oh my gosh, please! 314 00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:37,666 Life is busy enough. 315 00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:39,708 And what, now we have all these baking videos, 316 00:11:39,708 --> 00:11:41,750 you know, making us feel like shit because we can't bake 317 00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,666 a cake that looks like a bag of Doritos?! 318 00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:46,083 - Yes, preach it. - Yeah, and everyone is 319 00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:48,458 just like... "get a family doctor," 320 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,000 "get their ears tested," "get them vaccinated, 321 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,208 wear a mask," and on, and on, and on, and... 322 00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:54,791 - I mean, you should, 323 00:11:54,791 --> 00:11:56,958 you should probably get them vaccinated. 324 00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:58,833 - I mean, who knows what to believe anymore? 325 00:11:58,833 --> 00:12:01,458 Plus two out of four are vaccinated. 326 00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:04,208 - Okay, so you're just hedging your bets on immunity. 327 00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:06,625 - Yes, exactly, thank you. 328 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:08,541 You get it. We're the same. 329 00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,541 - Okay. - Cooper! 330 00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:12,458 Cooper, do not touch that dead squirrel! 331 00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:13,875 (Running footsteps thud) 332 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:18,583 ♪♪♪ 333 00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,708 James: Well, we got a new water heater. 334 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,458 Wanna rock, paper, scissors 335 00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:24,916 to see who gets the first hot shower? 336 00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:26,791 - No, I'll just go first. - Hmm. 337 00:12:26,791 --> 00:12:28,750 - I found an insurance company. - Oh, that's great. 338 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:31,083 Takes the pressure off of uh, you know, staying alive. 339 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,875 - Yeah, they're gonna send someone over to give us 340 00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,083 an assessment this weekend, so the healthier we are, 341 00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:37,083 the lower the premiums. - We're healthy, look at us. 342 00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:39,000 - Well, we drink. 343 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,083 And when was the last time you smoked? 344 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,791 - Weed's legal now, and also it was like, half a joint 345 00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:45,958 a month ago, also, it was hash, I think. 346 00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:48,083 - You smoked hash? Where? 347 00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,791 - The-at the Settlers of Catan night with the boys. 348 00:12:50,791 --> 00:12:53,250 - Okay, well, that will cost us thousands of dollars a year. 349 00:12:54,416 --> 00:12:56,916 If they find out. 350 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,500 - Ohh! 351 00:13:01,666 --> 00:13:04,208 Oh hey, I don't uh--oh. 352 00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,041 Oh yeah, come on in, you're the insurance lady? 353 00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:07,791 - Sorry, hi, yes, I'm June. 354 00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:11,083 No. Sorry. I'm Jenn. (Laughs) 355 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,750 Oh jeez, I-I lost one. - It's okay, it's all right. 356 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,958 I just, I forgot you were coming, actually. 357 00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:17,458 I totally did, and I was about to do my 10K, 358 00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:19,333 but it's all right. I'll just- I'll do it-I'll do 20 tomorrow. 359 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,500 - Yeah. What does the "K" stand for? 360 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,333 - Hey, look who it is. Jenn, this is my wife, Astrid. 361 00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,791 - Hi! - Hello. 362 00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:26,791 - She's the smoothie-head. - Oh! 363 00:13:26,791 --> 00:13:28,708 (Laughs) Hi, hi. 364 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,541 Honey, quick question, what would you like for dinner, 365 00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:32,458 quinoa or spelt? - Oh, spelt. 366 00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:35,125 Just saying the word makes my mouth water. Spelt. 367 00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:37,375 Felix: Mom, where are the gummy worms? 368 00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,250 - At the store where we left 'em! 369 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,375 (Laughs) Where do they get this? So ew! 370 00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:43,125 - It's not at this... 371 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,416 Jenn: Okay, so I'm gonna ask you some standard 372 00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:48,958 health questions. Uh, don't be nervous, just be honest. 373 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,916 - What, people actually lie on these things, 374 00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:53,750 that is so unnecessary. - James, stop. 375 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,541 - Okay, do either of you smoke? 376 00:13:55,541 --> 00:13:57,125 - No. - Never. 377 00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:59,375 - Okay. And do you drink? 378 00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:01,125 - A glass of wine or two with dinner. 379 00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:02,833 - Maybe just on the weekends. - I mean, just like, not even-- 380 00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,500 - Sure. 381 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,416 - Always with food, a lot. - Always with food. Yeah. 382 00:14:06,416 --> 00:14:07,916 - I mean, we try to balance so it's-yeah. 383 00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,875 - Rarely. - Just not a big fan. 384 00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:11,708 - Rarely. Love a pun. Absolutely. 385 00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:14,208 How often do you exercise? - Three to five times a week. 386 00:14:16,375 --> 00:14:18,625 - Okay. 387 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,666 Um, what about marijuana consumption? 388 00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:24,000 - Gross. - Really not a fan. 389 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,291 - Okay, you know what? You guys are so healthy. 390 00:14:28,541 --> 00:14:29,750 - Oh! - Oh, I don't-- 391 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,875 - Us! You're kidding. 392 00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,166 - This is you saving a dead person. 393 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,833 - Oh, aren't you just the sweetest! 394 00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:38,625 Thank you. 395 00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,875 - And this is a picture of a ghost trying to eat a pizza. 396 00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:43,041 But his ghost mouth keeps going through it. 397 00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:44,750 - Oh my goodness, you know, 398 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:47,375 I can barely draw my own name most days, thank you! 399 00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:49,791 All right, you're ideal customers. 400 00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:52,000 Honestly, I wish my life was half as together as yours, 401 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,625 but it's not. 402 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,625 Okay, because I made some mistakes about seven years ago. 403 00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:59,125 So once we complete your physical exam, 404 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,083 I'll get out of your hair. Both: Physical? 405 00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,958 - Of course. - Oh crap. 406 00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:05,750 We thought the exam was more like a, like a written test. 407 00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:07,791 - (Laughs) 408 00:15:07,791 --> 00:15:09,916 Well, hey, it's as you said, you guys are healthy. 409 00:15:09,916 --> 00:15:11,750 These tests, they're just gonna prove that. 410 00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,500 - (Groans) 411 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,083 Oh. 412 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:19,208 ♪♪♪ 413 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,583 - Hi. 414 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,166 - James and I have opened RESPs for the kids, 415 00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:25,916 which we will contribute to regularly. 416 00:15:25,916 --> 00:15:27,916 - How? Wonderful. 417 00:15:27,916 --> 00:15:30,083 - We are also getting life insurance which covers 418 00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:32,291 everything except skydiving accidents, and acts of war. 419 00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,708 If, however, and this is important, 420 00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,916 we get murdered by you or Bo, you will get nothing. 421 00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:38,958 - Bo wouldn't hurt a fly. 422 00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:41,333 - Are my kids good enough for you now, Dawn? 423 00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,500 - Bo and I were always happy to take them, always, 424 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,583 we just had some money questions, that's all. 425 00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,083 Three kids is a lot of kids. - No, it isn't. 426 00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:50,208 It's not unmanageable, people do it. 427 00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,958 - Three of anything is too much. 428 00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:55,041 Two cars is reasonable, three is pure vanity. 429 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,000 Two beers is a nice drive home, three, potential manslaughter. 430 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,125 Two bananas is a lot-- - Two examples is enough, 431 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,833 three is carrying on a bit. 432 00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:04,833 Look, just so you know, James and I would be happy 433 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,666 to take Corey if anything ever happened to you or Bo, 434 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,875 no questions asked. 435 00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,791 - No, if anything happens to us, 436 00:16:09,791 --> 00:16:11,041 Corey is gonna live with Bo's brother. 437 00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,625 - What? 438 00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,208 - Well, Trevor has the cottage, he's well-off, 439 00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:16,833 and has no heirs. - Wow. 440 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,916 All right, if you guys die after we both die, 441 00:16:18,916 --> 00:16:21,166 Trevor takes our kids, too. Checkmate! 442 00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,041 ♪♪♪ 443 00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:24,875 - (Sighs) 444 00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:26,958 (Birds chirp) 445 00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:27,916 (Phones ring, low hum of chatter) 446 00:16:27,916 --> 00:16:30,541 - Mmm! 447 00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:31,750 - The burgers just got here... 448 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,916 - You guys got burgers? - (Clapping) 449 00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:38,458 - Hey! - We're celebrating. 450 00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:42,125 Today was a thrilling, challenging, magical day. 451 00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:44,000 - So the guy I called is gonna sell us some kiwis? 452 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,791 - Cute little hairy apples. 453 00:16:45,791 --> 00:16:47,666 - And we terminated our agreement 454 00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:50,083 with the old supplier-- a message to the produce world 455 00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:52,041 that we will not be screwed with! 456 00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:54,166 - No, no, no, no! A new supplier in Chile 457 00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:56,125 means a way larger carbon footprint. 458 00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:58,000 - As unfortunate as that is, 459 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,041 the environment doesn't sit on the Board. 460 00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,958 And the Board is impressed by you. 461 00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:04,833 - Great. - It is great, 462 00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:07,166 because they've agreed to make you... 463 00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:10,333 regional manager of the new franchises. 464 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,125 - Hey! Hey, come on. (Both applaud) 465 00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:15,583 Now he's not my boss now, right, we're still equals? 466 00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:18,000 - You and I are gonna be here for a long time, James. 467 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,083 I've got big plans for us! 468 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,000 - You should have a celebration burger! 469 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,166 Don't hide from me! Come on! 470 00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:27,291 (Heartbeat thuds) 471 00:17:27,291 --> 00:17:28,833 (Thuds speed up) 472 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:33,291 ♪♪♪ 473 00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:34,708 - Hey, James. 474 00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:39,125 - I don't want it. 475 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,750 - Okay, well they have a non-meat option, I think, 476 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,708 if that's what you're-- - I can't do this anymore. 477 00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:45,875 I can't be a lifer here. I quit. 478 00:17:48,291 --> 00:17:49,666 (Sighs deeply) 479 00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,875 Mm-hmm. 480 00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:58,875 Okay, I'm just gonna go. 481 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,833 (Car rumbles to a halt) 482 00:18:06,833 --> 00:18:08,458 (Brakes squeal) 483 00:18:10,208 --> 00:18:12,333 (Engine shuts off) 484 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,333 ♪♪♪ 485 00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,000 (Keys jingle) 486 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,875 (Door opens, shuts) 487 00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,750 Astrid: Being a parent means taking on a lot of stress. 488 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,125 You worry about their headaches, 489 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,083 you get angry when they use your phone 490 00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:25,041 to take pictures of you sleeping. 491 00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,666 James: And the stress takes a toll on your body. 492 00:18:26,666 --> 00:18:28,750 High blood pressure, increased chance of diabetes, 493 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,583 it can take years off your life. 494 00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:32,833 Astrid: The stress might also cause you to make rash, 495 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:35,500 life-changing decisions without first checking in with your-- 496 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,958 James: Yeah, more of a health thing though, 497 00:18:37,958 --> 00:18:39,666 which is why so much of parenting 498 00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:41,625 is about calming down. Astrid: Catching your breath. 499 00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,375 And preparing yourself for... 500 00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,208 more stress. 501 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,166 - Okay, but check it again. 502 00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,875 Well, check both of them. 503 00:18:48,875 --> 00:18:50,625 (Keys jingle) 504 00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:52,083 Check with the pharmacy... (Bag clatters, keys jingle) 505 00:18:53,416 --> 00:18:55,208 - Hey, you're home early, everything okay? 506 00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:56,958 - Yep, it's uh... 507 00:18:56,958 --> 00:18:58,666 (Clears throat) I have huge news. 508 00:18:58,666 --> 00:19:00,375 - Okay, well, it's gonna have to wait. 509 00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,250 - Huh. Oh my God, this lady? 510 00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:04,500 - Oh! Sorry about that. 511 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,458 I was worried that I left the front door unlocked, 512 00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:09,166 but really I just left the stove on. (Laughs) 513 00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:11,458 Okay, it's good you're both here. 514 00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,625 So there was a little bit of a mix-up 515 00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:15,666 with your bloodwork at the lab. 516 00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:17,166 It could've been anybody's fault. 517 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,416 Mmm! That's from yesterday. 518 00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:21,500 Pretty lumpy. Okay. 519 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,041 Um, all right. So it seems I found out some stuff 520 00:19:24,041 --> 00:19:26,875 that you didn't actually disclose. 521 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:30,291 You little sneaks! - All right fine, I smoke weed. 522 00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:32,625 I mean, it's not a lot, but it-it's enough. 523 00:19:32,625 --> 00:19:34,333 In fact, I'm gonna smoke a little bit when you leave. 524 00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:36,166 - James. 525 00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:38,416 - No, that's not what it was, but thank you for telling me, 526 00:19:38,416 --> 00:19:40,208 because that's absolutely gonna increase your premiums. 527 00:19:40,208 --> 00:19:41,875 - You bet. 528 00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:44,125 - No, I came to make sure that Astrid really wants 529 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:46,625 to get insured now. 530 00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:50,250 - Well, no one really wants to get insured, ever, 531 00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:52,666 (Laughs) but what's wrong with now? 532 00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:54,791 - It's just that it'll be cheaper if you do it after. 533 00:19:54,791 --> 00:19:56,041 - After what? 534 00:19:57,166 --> 00:19:59,458 - The baby. Viv: No! 535 00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:05,708 - Oh my God, you didn't know you're pregnant! 536 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,541 - James, we're having a baby. 537 00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:14,666 - I just quit my job. 538 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,166 ♪♪♪ 539 00:20:20,166 --> 00:20:22,166 (Heartbeats thud) 540 00:20:24,541 --> 00:20:26,541 - I used to fish a lot when I was a kid. 541 00:20:26,541 --> 00:20:28,958 My Dad used to take me to the same fishing hole every summer. 542 00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:30,666 Unfortunately, he stood up in the boat one summer, 543 00:20:30,666 --> 00:20:32,458 and off he went. 544 00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:35,208 And well, we searched for hours, but we never found him. 545 00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,125 But we did find his rod. 546 00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,625 Now, this rod is a very lucky rod. 547 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,000 Which I have written, "Nature Boy" on the side of. 548 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,958 And that's the kind of rod I take out. 549 00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,708 I'll tell you something, you've seen Nature Boy. 550 00:20:44,708 --> 00:20:46,333 I bring it in the truck sometimes, to show off. 551 00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,458 Because I feel like just having that rod around 552 00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:50,250 brings back my father, and also brings me luck. 553 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,875 ♪ I love my kids But kids ruin everything ♪ 554 00:20:53,875 --> 00:20:56,166 ♪ Everything Kids ruin everything ♪ 555 00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:59,333 ♪ I love my kids But kids ruin everything ♪ 556 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,166 ♪ Everything Kids ruin everything ♪ 557 00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:03,291 ♪ No more sleeping in ♪ 558 00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:06,375 ♪ I've got kids in my bed ♪ 559 00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:09,291 ♪ I never knew but now I see ♪ 560 00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:12,250 ♪ Children ruin everything ♪ 561 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:17,583 ♪♪♪ 562 00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:20,041 ♪ I never knew but now I see ♪ 563 00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,000 ♪ I really hate this sh-- ♪ 42986

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