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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:03,280 Julie, did I ever tell You about my uncle cecil 2 00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:05,104 Who was a highway patrolman? 3 00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:06,271 No. 4 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,750 I didn't know that you Had an uncle who was 5 00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:09,274 A highway patrolman. 6 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,221 Yes, I do, now one Day he's on the road 7 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,390 And he sees this speck In his rear-view mirror. 8 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,447 It's coming at him Faster and faster. 9 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,726 Right, he looks as it goes by, 10 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,383 It's a guy running. 11 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,230 Cecil tries to Catch up, he goes 60, 12 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:23,021 70 miles an hour, can't Catch up to his guy. 13 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,035 About five minutes later, He's turning the road, 14 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:27,003 He hears groaning From the side of the road. 15 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:33,198 Oh... Oh... He looks And it's the same guy. 16 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,078 He says, "What happened, How'd you get here?" 17 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,913 The guy looks up and Says, "You know what it is 18 00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:38,281 To have a blowout In your sneakers 19 00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,372 At 80 miles an hour?" 20 00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:51,282 ♪ 21 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,554 ♪ welcome back ♪ 22 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:59,324 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 23 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,559 ♪ welcome back ♪ 24 00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:06,264 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 25 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,500 ♪ well the names Have all changed 26 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,668 Since you hung around ♪ 27 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,837 ♪ but those dreams have remained 28 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,073 And they've turned around ♪ 29 00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,242 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 30 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,311 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 31 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,246 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 32 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,282 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 33 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,416 ♪ yeah, we tease him a lot 34 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:27,586 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 35 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,888 ♪ welcome back ♪ 36 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:34,193 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪ 37 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:39,965 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪♪ 38 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:46,638 ♪ 39 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,281 Okay. 40 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,951 Now, a constitutional Amendment has to be ratified 41 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:04,355 By at least two... 42 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,168 All right, it's a fire Drill, fire drill, all right, 43 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:09,193 Everybody remain cool and calm. 44 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,231 Not that calm! 45 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,244 Now line up there, Single file, quietly. 46 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:17,002 Come on, let's go. 47 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,770 Come on. 48 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:22,840 Right you are, mr. Kotter. 49 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:25,410 At a time like This, we should all 50 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,046 Have a cool head. 51 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:29,314 Fire! 52 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:32,317 Fire! 53 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,030 Arnold, put him Down, leave him alone. 54 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,487 Arnold, arnold. 55 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:36,999 Just a drill Arnold, take it easy. 56 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,868 Everybody else Outside, just a drill. 57 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,470 Go to your assigned places. 58 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,694 But mr. Kotter, When the bell rings, 59 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,662 How do we know it's a fire drill 60 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,566 And not a real fire? 61 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,368 I guess we don't. 62 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,103 That's what I thought. 63 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,237 Fire! 64 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:53,772 Fire! 65 00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:01,746 Oh, no! Oh, my goodness, no! 66 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,915 That's the third Fire drill this week. 67 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,585 Hey, I had enough Of these dry runs. 68 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,264 I think it's time the Place caught on fire 69 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,599 So we can see how it's gonna do 70 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,557 Under real pressure. 71 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,993 It's just a drill, I'm okay. 72 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,162 All right, kotter. 73 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,742 Which one of you Sweathogs turned in 74 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:21,333 A false alarm? 75 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,745 Mr. Woodman, how Can you be so sure 76 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,449 It was one of my kids? 77 00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,605 You're right, kotter, It was unfair of me. 78 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:30,709 Could've been you. 79 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,844 I remember when You were a sweathog. 80 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,214 You put hot fudge In the inkwells. 81 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,927 I didn't put the hot Fudge in the inkwells, 82 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,452 That was crazy delaney. 83 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,532 I ran around afterwards And sprinkled nuts on it, 84 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:46,391 Put I didn't put it... 85 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:50,194 Ain't that the kind of thing That makes you proud of him? 86 00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,441 Thank you very much, all right, 87 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:53,242 The drill's over, let's Go inside, come on. 88 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,198 Come on, everybody. 89 00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,635 Okay, everybody inside. 90 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,202 Hold it, hold it. 91 00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,382 As long as you're all out here, 92 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,440 Let me, uh, check your lockers. 93 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:04,409 Principal lazarus has Ordered a locker inspection. 94 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,010 What are you looking for? 95 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,714 Anything I can find to Nail your sweathogs. 96 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:12,784 Mr. Woodman, what is this, Be cruel to sweathog day? 97 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:16,287 Kotter, every day is be Cruel to sweathog day. 98 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:23,261 This is my locker And welcome to it. 99 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,832 Good grief! 100 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,068 What is that? 101 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:36,708 Looks like an antique banana. 102 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,254 Arnold holds onto It long enough, 103 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:42,180 It might be worth something. 104 00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:46,317 I collect old fruit. 105 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:47,919 Strange boy, kotter. 106 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,455 Very strange. 107 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,424 Epstein. 108 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,425 Hold it. 109 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,827 You got a warrant? 110 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,897 I know my rights! 111 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,399 What's all this? 112 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,278 Those are the notes Covering my absenteeism 113 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,369 For the rest of my life! 114 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,911 And look, you spoiled My filing system. 115 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:17,049 Arthritis... Appendicitis... 116 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,750 Is this your locker, barbarino? 117 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,721 What? 118 00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:25,189 This locker, is This your locker? 119 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,826 Where? 120 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,494 What, where? 121 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,330 Barbarino, the only Reason you got a head 122 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,232 Is to separate your ears! 123 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:38,336 Ooh! 124 00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,205 Separate? 125 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:41,851 I think woodman just ranked you. 126 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,620 Well, can I rank him back Without gettin' in trouble, 127 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,410 Can I do that? 128 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:46,578 I don't know. 129 00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:47,647 Can he do that? 130 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,681 Sure. 131 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,382 I used to be Pretty good at this. 132 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:52,784 Go ahead. 133 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,085 Give me your best shot. 134 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,420 Clam breath. 135 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,355 Ha-ha-ha! 136 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,172 And I won't get in no trouble. 137 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,128 No. 138 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,462 You mean it? 139 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,199 Sure I mean it, pepperoni puss! 140 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:14,039 Well, listen, you Snow-capped leprechaun... 141 00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:18,354 You look like somebody Played danny boy 142 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,812 On your face with an ugly stick. 143 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,147 Ooh! 144 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,982 Very funny, barbarino. 145 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,729 That's so funny you Can stay after school 146 00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:30,087 For two weeks. 147 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:31,355 Wait a second. 148 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:33,770 Mr. Woodman, you told Him that it was all right. 149 00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:36,094 Just cool it, brillo head! 150 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,435 Not doin' it for that. 151 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:47,505 It's because of this. 152 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,907 What is this jacket With "Sweathogs" on it? 153 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,142 It's nothing, nothing. 154 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,143 Wait a minute. 155 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,379 Gangs wear jackets like this. 156 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,714 Yeah, well, uh, those Are our colors, you see, 157 00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:59,016 As guys, we Formed a little club. 158 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,686 Yeah, well, exactly what Kind of club did you form? 159 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,788 Well, it must be Some terrific club 160 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,957 Because so dar They won't let me join. 161 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,593 You just haven't Been initiated yet. 162 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,662 Non-school organizations Are forbidden 163 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,297 On school grounds. 164 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:15,066 Now jackets mean Gangs, gangs mean fights, 165 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:17,168 And fights mean bad news. 166 00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:19,905 Principal lazarus doesn't Like bad news, kotter. 167 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,073 The last time I Brought him bad news, 168 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:25,277 He ate my tie. 169 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,856 Look at this, Here's another one. 170 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,547 They're not people! 171 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,982 What's with him? 172 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,661 Where've you been, freddie? 173 00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:34,463 Oh, uh, man, I had some trouble. 174 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:35,553 Hey, you okay? 175 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,333 Hey man, those guys Over at new utrecht 176 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,157 Said I invaded their turf. 177 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,226 Did ya? 178 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,293 No, not exactly. 179 00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:45,863 Actually, I invaded Pearl jackson. 180 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,165 Oh. 181 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,011 Unfortunately, She happens to live 182 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,780 Right in the middle Of their turf. 183 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,003 But y'all don't worry. 184 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,916 Old boom knows how To take care of himself. 185 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,518 See, man, I got Surrounded by these seven 186 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,253 Big bad new utrecht Cats, right man... 187 00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,110 Wait, wait, wait a second. 188 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,912 There was seven of 'em? 189 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,849 Either there was seven Or two, I don't know. 190 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,050 Anyway. 191 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,396 I looked 'em right in the eye, 192 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:11,622 And then I'll say... "Hi there." 193 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,461 They don't say nothin'. 194 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,297 They just look at me mean. 195 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,065 So I holds my ground. 196 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,245 And I look them straight Back in the eye one more time 197 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:30,175 And then I said to Them... "Bye there." 198 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:31,476 Everybody back in class. 199 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,478 So what are you Gonna do about it? 200 00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:37,048 Don't you guys realize That if you walk around 201 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,818 With jackets like this, you're Just asking for trouble? 202 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,065 I want you to listen to me. 203 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,000 Sooner or later, Somebody's really 204 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,556 Gonna get hurt. 205 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,525 Yeah. 206 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,728 Especially me. 207 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:55,400 Yeah, especially him. 208 00:08:55,469 --> 00:09:01,272 ♪ 209 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,511 Oh, poor baby. 210 00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:08,613 You don't look so good. 211 00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,815 What's the matter? 212 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,752 I'm just worried. 213 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:15,853 Oh, honey. 214 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:17,700 I was talking to the plant. 215 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,557 Edna. 216 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,770 Julie, why do you give all These plants girls' names for? 217 00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:22,972 How do know they're Girls, what do you do, 218 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,929 Peek under the leaves? 219 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,046 Besides, it's ridiculous For you to keep on 220 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,237 Talking to plants anyway. 221 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:37,242 Well tonight, edna's a Lot more fun than you are. 222 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,745 I'm sorry, honey, I'm just Worried about the kids. 223 00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:41,813 I'm worried. 224 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,182 Oh. 225 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:48,986 Excuse me, edna. 226 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,121 Okay. 227 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,157 What's the big crisis this time? 228 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:55,327 You have to help horshack Break in a new lunch box? 229 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,762 It's even more Serious than that. 230 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,897 You're kidding. 231 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,543 No, I got a problem, Julie, the kids 232 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,200 Have formed a gang. 233 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,569 And I don't know what to do. 234 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:07,072 I mean, I think there's Gonna be a rumble. 235 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,873 A rumble? 236 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,009 What's a rumble? 237 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,310 Oh, I forgot. 238 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,880 You're from nebraska. 239 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,693 In nebraska, a rumble Is when your cow 240 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,617 Has a gas attack. 241 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,393 A rumble is a fight. 242 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,061 People hit each other. 243 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,464 Person could develop a coma. 244 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,644 I remember when I was in school, 245 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,600 There was this guy I knew. 246 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,769 Bonzo maretti. 247 00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:42,173 Bonzo loved to rumble. 248 00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,121 He would fight Anybody, anything. 249 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,111 Buses, buildings. 250 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,412 Small towns. 251 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,426 One year, for summer Vacation, he beat up everybody 252 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:54,151 In utah. 253 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,188 I think there's someone Rumbling at the door. 254 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,841 - arnold... - will you say I inspire fear? 255 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,481 Arnold. 256 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:27,118 I gather you're Joining the gang, too? 257 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,421 Do you know what It's like, arnold, 258 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,022 To be in a rumble? 259 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,156 So? 260 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,427 What's a rumble like? 261 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,829 I want you to picture A game of hockey. 262 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,464 Big guys. 263 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,466 With no teeth. 264 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:47,271 Big sticks, and you're the puck. 265 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:50,942 Mr. Kotter, I want to be a punk, 266 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:55,513 Not a puck. 267 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:59,383 Good-bye, mr. Kotter. 268 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:03,821 Mrs. Kotter. 269 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,689 I know, I know! 270 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,391 Such a pity! 271 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:12,830 A young man like me Cut down in his prime! 272 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,134 Do you know that I just Got my first chest hair? 273 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:25,143 If you'd like to see it, I'll go home and get it. 274 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,278 Mr. Kotter. 275 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:31,716 Before I go to the... Rumble, 276 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,496 There's only one Thing I'd like you 277 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,653 To do for me. 278 00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:36,921 What's that, arn? 279 00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:39,524 Stop me from going! 280 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:48,866 Arnold. 281 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,279 Now that you've Greased my shirt, 282 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:53,271 Would you mind oiling my shoes? 283 00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:59,210 ♪ 284 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,924 Soon as we initiate horshack He'll go off in front of us, 285 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,615 Then new utrecht turkey. 286 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:05,761 How are we gonna initiate him? 287 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,851 I don't know, how Did we initiate you? 288 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,053 Wait a minute. 289 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,289 Nobody initiated me, remember? 290 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,190 I'm vinnie barbarino. 291 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:16,193 I started the gang, remember? 292 00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:19,130 And when you start a gang, You got to initiate yourself. 293 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:23,000 Which I did, and it Was very painful. 294 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,705 Yo, what do you gotta Do to initiate yourself? 295 00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:30,108 Oh, it was awful, really. 296 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:33,077 For a whole week solid, Every day after school, 297 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,046 I'd lock myself in my room, 298 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:38,349 And watch reruns Of "Gilligan's island." 299 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:41,420 Oh, wow. 300 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,853 Vinnie. 301 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,722 I had no idea. 302 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,372 How about you, freddie, How'd you get initiated? 303 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,795 Oh, I didn't. 304 00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:56,934 I joined on vinnie's special Minority membership plan. 305 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,503 Great, we got a great gang. 306 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,616 Epstein, what are You complainin' about? 307 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,218 You didn't have To get initiated. 308 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:07,311 Yeah, that's 'cause I got a note here. 309 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:11,048 Let me read this... You gotta see this one. 310 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,350 "Dear punk... 311 00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:16,687 Please excuse juan From his gang initiation 312 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,623 Because of an inner ear problem. 313 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,827 He hates to hear himself scream. 314 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:25,163 Signed, epstein's mother." 315 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:26,363 Stupid, stupid. 316 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,666 Hey look, I got a great Idea for the initiation. 317 00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:30,246 Why don't we stick Horshack's head 318 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:35,006 In my gym locker for About three minutes? 319 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:38,242 We want to initiate Him, not kill him. 320 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,951 Hello, fellow delinquents. 321 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,931 All right, horshack, you Ready for your initiation? 322 00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:49,887 Huh? 323 00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:52,490 Yeah, you ready to become a man? 324 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,959 Or something close. 325 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:55,960 Hey, start. 326 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,161 Start! 327 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,941 I started, I already started. 328 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:03,034 I just gotta get my Thoughts deranged. 329 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,702 Horshack, over here! 330 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,670 Frederick, give me some water. 331 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,573 Horshack, genuflect! 332 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,176 Gene... Who? 333 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,245 I was gonna baptize him. 334 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,215 It's the only thing I Could think of, all right? 335 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,984 You know, being Catholic and all. 336 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,151 Horshack. 337 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,354 You look like a vaseline factory 338 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:28,092 Blew up on you. 339 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,895 Listen, vinnie, if you Gotta have an initiation, 340 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,197 Why don't you Initiate us all at once? 341 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,200 What you talkin' About "All of us"? 342 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,636 I brought some recruits. 343 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,449 So sit down, come on, sit down. 344 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,372 Recruits? 345 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,218 Is this a joke, There's recruits? 346 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:44,319 I do not see you sitting! 347 00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:47,111 I'm sitting. 348 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,047 Okay! 349 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,566 Sweathogs! 350 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,100 Yeah! 351 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,643 We came to join the gang, too. 352 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:21,411 We can help you guys Break some heads. 353 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,391 Break some heads, What are you, crazy? 354 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:27,418 I wouldn't do nothin' to Mar this natural beauty. 355 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,064 Mr. Kotter, we were just Gonna throw the scare 356 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:30,599 On those new utrecht Guys on account 357 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:31,734 Of what they did To freddie here. 358 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,769 - yeah. - what you bring woodman for? 359 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,059 I can't believe it. 360 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,872 That's right, kotter, What did you bring me for? 361 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,996 - oh, good old ace over here? - yeah. 362 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,108 He's the only one That's got the key 363 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,099 To the nurse's office. 364 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,401 What's the difference? 365 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:46,670 Let 'em knock each Other's brains loose, pow! 366 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,973 Easy, ace. 367 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,943 I'm gettin' the picture, They all dress up like this. 368 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,357 You trying to stop Us, we ain't gonna... 369 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,213 Hey, no! 370 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:56,859 We ain't tryin' to stop you! 371 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,294 I just remembered What a rumble was like 372 00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,162 When I was school, How exciting it was! 373 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,487 I figured I could give You guys a few pointers! 374 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:06,491 All right? Now, who's the First guy that's got the chains? 375 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:11,028 Chains, no, no, don't Got no chains on me! 376 00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,030 No chains, no chains? 377 00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:16,834 How about some brass knuckles? 378 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,202 Sticks, you got sticks? 379 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:21,839 Sticks, you talkin' Big time now. 380 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,707 I don't understand you guys. 381 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,020 What did you come Here, go to a rumble 382 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,044 Or go to a dance? 383 00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,712 Dance, that's a good idea. 384 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,249 We'll go right now, all right? 385 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,089 Oh. 386 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,327 Looks like we don't Have to go to the dance. 387 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,562 Here's the Entertainment committee. 388 00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,209 I didn't think they Was gonna show up. 389 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,733 All right. 390 00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:50,735 Who's the leader here? 391 00:17:58,278 --> 00:17:59,843 Uh... 392 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:05,416 We heard you all Sweathogs was lookin' for us. 393 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,152 So, uh, we thought We'd make ourselves 394 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,020 Easy to find. 395 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,029 You got a disease? 396 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,702 Were you lookin' for us? 397 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,136 What? 398 00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:35,879 Was you... Looking... For us? 399 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,716 Where? 400 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,185 I thought we was remedial. 401 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,486 Hey. 402 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,199 Enough of this lip service here. 403 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:45,834 I came here for some action! 404 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,502 Who's the first guy who Wants to lose control 405 00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:51,062 Of his face? 406 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,296 Will you cool it? 407 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:54,464 Who is this guy? 408 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:56,300 He's our teacher. 409 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,344 Your teacher? 410 00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,947 This a tough school. 411 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,348 All right, let's go. 412 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,716 No, wait! 413 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:13,962 All right, now you can start. 414 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,787 I don't like to watch Him dismember people. 415 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,995 That's the oldest Punk I ever saw. 416 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:31,802 You a senior? 417 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,705 I'm the vice principal! 418 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,641 Vice principal? 419 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,311 This is a tough school. 420 00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:41,745 Hey, what, are you nuts? 421 00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,581 I'm not gonna mess With no vice principal! 422 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,885 Are ya turkey or ya lucky? 423 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:52,423 Just be glad you didn't Have to mess with horshack. 424 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,966 We call him the widow maker. 425 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:08,572 He's already got six Notches on his lunch box. 426 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,608 That's right. 427 00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:18,081 And how would you Like to be number seven? 428 00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:22,686 Hold me back. Let me at him! 429 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,955 Quorum, please. 430 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,190 There's no need to Get all worked up here. 431 00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:29,559 Breathe deep, breathe deep. 432 00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:33,730 Relax. 433 00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,377 I'm sure that we Can all work out 434 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,146 Our little difficulties here. 435 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:38,636 No problem. 436 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,671 We'll talk. 437 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,073 Tomorrow. 438 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,241 Call my servants. 439 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,043 We'll have lunch. 440 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,385 He's the vice principal? 441 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,954 That's right. 442 00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:58,989 And you're a teacher. 443 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,058 You got it. 444 00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,828 What do you teach? 445 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,729 Home economics. 446 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,369 This is a tough school. 447 00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:16,106 All right! 448 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,317 Well, who ya lookin' for? 449 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:28,452 You lookin' for me? 450 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:33,090 Well, here I am, Vinnie barbarino! 451 00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,358 Hey, carvelli. 452 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:37,161 Your mother. Your mother... 453 00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:38,430 All right, all right, vinnie. 454 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:39,396 Stop it. 455 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:43,133 I got 'em good. 456 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,035 Look. 457 00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,538 I came here with mr. Woodman And I convinced him 458 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,339 To dress this way 459 00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:51,453 Because we wanted to make Sure nobody would get hurt. 460 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,555 I told ya, nobody was Gonna get hurt, mr. Kotter, 461 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,324 We was just gonna throw A scare into those guys... 462 00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,748 That's how it starts, Juan, you try to scare them 463 00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,494 Then they scare you Then you push them 464 00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:00,818 And they shove you. 465 00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,764 You do something bad to them And they try to do something 466 00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:03,887 Worse to you. 467 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:07,057 That's the way wars get started. 468 00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:09,092 It's the same thing With countries. 469 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,340 Head of one country says to The head of another country, 470 00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:14,765 "Off my case, tank face." 471 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:19,002 He wise back, "Up your Nose, with tokyo rose." 472 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:22,939 One week later, john Wayne is storming iwo jima. 473 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:26,009 Well, I don't want no Part of nothing like that. 474 00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:27,678 Yeah, me neither. 475 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,513 Hey, mr. Kotter. 476 00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:33,016 Does this mean I don't Got to be tough no more? 477 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:34,784 That's right, arnold. 478 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,064 Come on, we've All had a long day. 479 00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:38,489 What do you say we, uh... 480 00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:44,961 What do you say We all slide home? 481 00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:57,941 ♪ 482 00:23:03,415 --> 00:23:04,982 Hi, honey. 483 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,850 Hi, honey. 484 00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:07,851 Thanks for bringing me lunch. 485 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,219 You're gonna love it. 486 00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:13,757 I made you a sandwich of My famous tuna casserole! 487 00:23:16,762 --> 00:23:18,962 Well go ahead, dig in. 488 00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:21,498 Julie, did I ever tell you About my uncle harry kotter? 489 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,567 No. 490 00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:23,801 Harry was a soft touch. 491 00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:25,047 Anybody could sell him anything. 492 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,648 Talked like this, "Hello, I'm harry kotter, 493 00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:30,307 I'm a nice guy, anybody Can sell me anything." 494 00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,020 One time, he went to buy a suit. 495 00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:33,922 Tried the jacket on, And one of the sleeves 496 00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:35,345 Is longer than the other. 497 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:37,092 Said to the salesman, "Hey, mister, this sleeve 498 00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,683 Is longer than the other One, how can I really... 499 00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:41,251 The sleeve is long." 500 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,721 The guy said, "Look, just Hold your arm like this, 501 00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:46,289 And it's fine." 502 00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,158 Then he tries on the pants. 503 00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:50,594 He notices t hat one leg Is longer than the other. 504 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:52,808 "Mister, this leg is Longer than the other one, 505 00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:54,710 I couldn't walk down The street with a leg 506 00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:56,133 Longer than the other one." 507 00:23:56,201 --> 00:23:59,803 He said, "Just hold Your leg out like that." 508 00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:02,172 Sells him the suit, harry Walks out of the store, 509 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:04,285 These two guys notice him Walking down the street. 510 00:24:04,309 --> 00:24:05,954 One says to the Other, "Oh, my god, 511 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:08,112 Look at that unfortunate Fellow over there." 512 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:09,958 Other guy says, "Yeah, that's a shame. 513 00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:12,116 Look how nice his suit fits." 514 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:20,057 ♪ 515 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:27,164 ♪ 516 00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:31,268 ♪ welcome back ♪ 517 00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:35,105 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 518 00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:37,274 ♪ welcome back ♪ 519 00:24:37,342 --> 00:24:42,112 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 520 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:44,414 ♪ well the names Have all changed 521 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,483 Since you hung around ♪ 522 00:24:46,552 --> 00:24:48,585 ♪ but those dreams have remained 523 00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:50,720 And they've turned around ♪ 524 00:24:50,789 --> 00:24:52,923 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 525 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,702 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 526 00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:56,993 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 527 00:24:57,062 --> 00:24:59,129 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 528 00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:01,198 ♪ yeah we tease him a lot 529 00:25:01,266 --> 00:25:03,434 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 530 00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:05,001 ♪ welcome back ♪♪ 36065

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