All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S09E15.Beyond.The.Valley.of.the.Southern.Dolls.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb[EZTVx.to]_track4_eng

Previously on this season
of "Southern Charm."

Whoo!
[all cheering]

As I was celebrating
a new beginning,

JT lobbed a bomb that
blew up in Austen's face.

You have a sleepover with a
girl that is your friend's ex?

♪ Scandal

Hand on a Bible.
There's nothing going on.

And as the lies unraveled...

We kissed.

So did Taylor
and Olivia's friendship.

We're just broken.

Meanwhile, as Brett and I
were making baby plans,

Craig and Paige's relationship
hit a roadblock.

I want a wife and children.

We've only been together
for a year and a half.

[downbeat quirky notes]

But Craig's trip to Jamaica
was full speed ahead...

I think you have a chance
with Taylor, you know?

- Until...
- Uh-oh.

The mess we left behind in
Charleston caught up with us.

Do you want me to say
that he----ed me?

- Yes.
- Is that what you want?

- Yes.
- That is what happened.

One day she's like,
I'm gonna to call you crying.

And then the next day telling
me that I'm a piece of shit.

- You're a pitch of sh--.
- You are an insecure...

- Stop.
- Little boy in a man suit.

You've been an
absolute [bleep].

- What have you been?
- Honest.

Bad friend?

Austen and Olivia.

Olivia, don't do that.

Talk quieter next time!
I'm right next door to you!

[dramatic music]

[item impacts on wall]

♪ Mm-hmm

[upbeat music]

♪

Sh--.
Do I have milk?

♪

Here.
You want an ice cube?

Cool.

OK.

Go get it.

♪

Dog food.
Macaroni's good.

Some for me.
Some for you.

It's time.

♪

[phone rings]

♪

Hello?

Good morning, man.
How are you doing?

Just going over some details
for the soirée next week.

to christen my new
cottage-pub-office.

It's not a bachelor pad.

It's just--it's kind
of like a little place

where you can hang,
not have to go out.

The theme is kind of
Russ Meyers

arty '60s softcore movies.
[chuckles]

Yeah, exactly.

If you could be inspired by

"Return to the Valley
of the Dolls"

and/or "Faster, Pussycat! Kill!
Kill!" that would be great.

[chuckles]

♪

[laughs] I'm really low.
Am I in the right chair?

♪

- Hi, friend.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- You look cute.

- You look so cute.
- Thank you.

- Is this Conner's jacket?
- It is.

- Oh, it looks so cute.
- Did you recognize it?

Yeah, you're not really,
like, out here Gucci-lifing.

- No, I'm not.
- It looks good on you.

- Thank you.
- Hi, welcome in.

- Hi.
- I'm gonna get the chowder.

And then
I'll do the gluten-free soup.

This look so good.

- The Jamaican grapefruit soda.
- I'll do the dry rosé.

- Food shouldn't take too long.
- Awesome.

- Thank you.
- Oh, my goodness.

Oh, this is, like,
a very high table.

Oh, my God.
No, I had that same thing.

I, like, sat down
and I was, like...[chuckles]

How is that little
taste of Jamaica?

Oh, weird.

It has, like,
a strange aftertaste in it.

Well,
it sounds like our trip.

- [laughs]
- [laughs] So it's fitting.

Oh, my gosh.

- Your soup's here.
- Ooh. Thank you.

Ooh.
Cauliflower.

Oh, yum. Thank you.
This is all so pretty.

Thank you.

Was it your first time
in Jamaica?

Mm-hmm.

I was talking to Lamar
and I was like,

I wonder how healthy it is, like,

that she's over there,
like, with Austen.

Yeah, like...

I've, like, been so focused on,
like, working on a friendship

to, like, still have
them in my life,

but then I feel him,
once again, saying

the things he thinks
I wanna hear.

Maybe I don't make it clear.

Like, I do love you.

He just, like,
knows the right...

How to pull
your heartstrings.

And I've been--

But it's so wrong
knowing where you're at, right?

You know that?
- Yeah, I--I do.

Olivia just
lost her brother.

This person right now
is super fragile.

So you have to be conscious
of what you're saying

and how you're acting
around this person.

And I don't think
Austen has been

thinking about
Olivia's feelings.

Maybe it is me.

Like, I'm inconsistent
with my feelings with Austen.

We were, like, laughing,
cracking jokes in Jamaica.

And then, like,
the next couple of days,

we're yelling at each other.

Mm, these margaritas
are good.

- Mm. These are good.
- Mix it up though, Olivia.

[laughs]

You're a lying piece of sh--.

Which is why we
didn't even try to.

You are such
a piece of sh--.

[sighs]

Being around him, I'm like,
let me rewire things.

I don't wanna fight
with him every time I see him,

so, like, let me try to
figure out the friends thing.

You're giving him more power
in your head than he has.

He's a little
- ing insecure boy.

I think I was just kind
of hanging on to that

tiny shred of hope that
he could change,

but now, after Jamaica, like,
I'm done with him.

I thought, like, at the
beginning, I had the boundary.

You also had a tragedy,
so, like,

there's a lot going on for you
right now.

[pensive music]

One thing you have learned this
year is that you're strong.

♪

[upbeat music]

♪

[knocking on door]
- One second!

[quirky suspenseful music]

[upbeat music]

Oh, boy.
How are you?

[laughs softly] Just in time.

Did I miss, uh...
miss some notes here?

No, this is the outfit
I'm going to go--

it's England '60s mod.

With shower theme.

- Anyways, please have a seat.
- Yeah.

Are you--Where am I going?
Where are you going?

I'm gonna try on this outfit.

Tell me what you think.

Roderick.
- Yes, sir.

- I'm ready for you.
- [chuckles] All right.

All right.
We have two options.

Oh, man, it's...

Leather or
whatever this fabric is.

I mean, I think it's
got to be leather all day.

- Let's neutralize the madness.
- You have to wear this.

Yeah.
- Let me try it on.

That should be a staple
in your everyday wardrobe.

It is about to be.

I'm like a young
Paul McCartney.

Yeah. Nah, dude.
You look good.

You had a little bit
of "MacGruber" hair too.

Can you do that?

No, my stuff's stuck
with my gel.

- All right. Let me--
- All right.

Let me change real quick.

Before we do,
do you want a drink?

- Please. A water.
- A water?

Tomorrow, I think
I'm gonna rock my '60s leggings

that look like
they're painted on.

I think it looks good.

Do you care if
it's hot or cold?

Room temp's good.

I think that we have
a lot to unpack,

so I thought today
you could be my therapist.

You look like you need
a lot of help right now.

All right. I'm gonna let
you have the therapist chair.

All right.
Give me a minute here.

All right.

So I guess I'll lay down
for this.

Yeah, all right.
All right.

Well, I'll be over here
judging you.

[sighs]

Let's start
with your childhood.

Well,
I'm still currently in it.

So anyways, so we talked
the other day

about my feelings for Taylor.
- Yeah.

And you think
I would be eligible.

I think it might be
a slight possibility.

[quirky dramatic music]

I've always
had a crush on Taylor,

but since Jamaica,

the feelings are not just
a baby crush.

The feelings are, like,
getting real.

[laughter]

♪

[laughter]

With Taylor,
I laugh at all times,

and that means a lot to me.

As a divorced guy, like,
if you can laugh together,

I think you can kind
of overcome a lot.

I don't know if I should just
tell Taylor about my feelings.

That's definitely
what I would do.

Is this my therapy session
or yours?

Just trying to help you
extrapolate some things

that might--
you might not see yet.

Do you think admitting
your feelings for her--

[sighs]

Changes any dynamic
with you and Taylor?

I think--I don't know.

I'm nervous.
Can you tell?

[clicks tongue]
Yeah.

I'm not saying hello
to Austen.

I'm not bringing up how
I feel with Taylor.

I'm just gonna go to the party,
have a few snacks...

[laughs softly] Yeah.

And then probably
just be on my way.

You just snuck
that Austen comment in there

real--real slyly.

You actually are
getting better at therapy.

You're catching little details.

- This is about you, JT.
- Thanks, Rod.

I just really don't have
any respect for Austen.

And, candidly, if I never
say another word to him

for the rest of my life,
I'm good with that.

In Jamaica, I realized

Austen cares about nobody
but himself.

I'm, like, exhausted by the
whole thing, to be honest.

'Cause you've
gone through it.

Kind of.

[tense music]

Deep down,
he is a self-serving,

insecure, me-first...

coward.

So I guess, tomorrow, I'll just
again, not say anything.

I'm just gonna
go to the party...

Right.

Ghost Austen,
and make Taylor giggle.

That's the bottom line, right?

I mean, you tell me.

I don't know.

[dramatic music]

Coming up.

I was like,
I think she's gonna come to me

and say that, like, holy sh--,
Austen, like, I'm sorry

that I let me emotions
get the best of me.

You thought
I was gonna apologize to you?

[upbeat music]

♪

Yeah.
Breakfast of champions.

I should have brought
the, uh, ice bucket.

Oh, that's OK.

[cork pops]

How are you feeling?
- Good. How are you?

I'm good.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

♪

OK, sir.
What do you wanna do today?

- You know. The usual.
- [laughs]

♪

Just hide the gray hairs.

Who put all that gray hair
in there?

Me?
- No, it wasn't you.

♪

That's good.
Don't do too much.

I wanna keep...
- What do you say?

I said, that's good.
I wanna keep it a little curly.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Well, then why didn't
you tell me that?

This one's mine?
- That one's yours.

Well, no more champagne
for breakfast

once you get that baby in you.

[laughs]
- Looking forward to it.

- Yeah.
- I can't wait.

- [laughs]
- It'll be good.

- Yeah.
- I mean, honestly.

I'm scared.

I'm gonna be fat
and pissed off.

[chuckles]
Whatever. I don't care.

[laughs softly]

[chuckles]

But... whew.

You all right?

I mean,
I feel sick right now.

Here, take it.
I can't.

[groans]
I feel so nauseous.

[soft dramatic music]

[splashing and spitting]

Oh my God. Ugh.
- You OK?

- Yeah.
- Do you need anything?

Plan B.
[spits]

I'm just kidding.
- [laughs]

I just took my vitamins,
and then...

- Oh. On an empty stomach.
- Yeah.

I'm a little freaked out
about having another baby.

Like, selfishly, I don't
wanna, like, do all that,

but it's definitely worth it.

It's just hard
at the beginning.

[clears throat]

[toilet flushes]

[exhales sharply]
I didn't even drink last night.

[groans]

[upbeat music]

So Whitney's gonna come up.
Let's go over there.

♪

Unfortunately,
I'm in a wheelchair

because I can't really move

after I got
a compression fracture.

Mom----ed up her back,
she's laid up, so.

- Hi, honey. Thank you.
- Hi.

Sure.

But I have
a health care professional.

Plus he does skincare,
eyeliner, a little blush.

Wait a minute.
The pillow's upside down.

[laughs]

I mean, why should you
look like a tousled mess

just because
you can't bend your back?

And I still wear
nice lingerie.

OK.

[sighs]

- Hey, Paul.
- Yes, ma'am.

Would you ask Whitney
to bring me Peaches?

- I will.
- Thank you.

[Peaches barks]
- Hey, Whitney.

Hey, Paul.

Hey, your mom
wants some Peaches.

Could you bring it up
to her please?

- Yeah, sure.
- All right, thanks.

- Thanks.
- All right, Peaches.

[clicks tongue]
Come on, come on.

Let's go.
Don't go on the chair.

Let's go.
Come on.

Let's go.
Come here.

Let's go. Come on.
[Peaches barking]

Perfect.

Come on.
[Peaches barking]

[Peaches barking continuously]

Jesus Christ.

All right.
You lost your chance.

[quirky upbeat music]

Howdy.
- Hey.

Unfortunately,
I couldn't get Peaches.

She's hiding under a chair,
so the next best is Roy.

Aw. Ro-ro.
Come here, Ro-ro.

Yeah.

This is my hour up.
[laughs]

- How are you feeling?
- I'm 60% better.

Yeah.

But I get tired
after about 40 minutes or so.

Yeah. Tomorrow's the party
to christen the cottage.

Is it gonna be up
to being christened?

It's almost there.
It's about 90%, 80% there.

- Good.
- So it should be fun.

The overriding homage

is to "Beyond the Valley
of the Dolls."

[quirky dramatic music]

- What kind of theme is that?
- On the evening...

I would say softcore movie
from the mid-'60s.

- Great.
- One my favorite filmmakers.

[laughs]

Nobody but you is
gonna know what that is.

No.
Everyone knows Russ Meyer.

[clears throat]

Did you invite any
young ladies or...

No.

You know,
you can't rush things.

You find the right girl,
and then you...

OK. Well,
you have to at least look.

- I'm looking.
- All right.

It's not as easy
as you think.

I feel like you just marry
after, you know, a month.

[laughs]

Having had three husbands,

I don't know if
that had any effect

on his outlook on marriage,

but I want him
to get married now.

I mean, I did it after
a couple of months.

I don't know why he can't.

It's something I think about
because when I kick the bucket,

who's gonna to
take care of you?

Oh, Lord.

Shep.
[laughs softly]

I'll be fine.

I want Whitney
to have a family.

He's an only child.

And having his father
passing away,

and then me going through
this accident,

it just seems like
life is slipping away.

Well, I'm glad
you're getting better.

Well, thanks
for sticking around.

[chuckling]
Yeah, sure.

All right, I got to go back
to the cottage.

I'll take the dog.

- Would you?
- Love you, Mom. OK.

Love you.
Bye, honey.

All right. Bye.

Come on.
We're going now.

Ro-ro.
Mm.

[laughter]

- OK.
- Ugh.

I got dog fur in my mouth.

Coming up.

All right, I better just
say something now

and just get it off my chest--
I love you.

[music slows down and stops]

I would marry you tomorrow.

[quirky dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

♪

Baby, are you wearing
this green dress?

Yeah. I bought it, like,
seven years ago.

You look like Pebbles
from "The Flintstones."

I was Pebbles one year
for Halloween, though, so.

OK.

- Oh!
- [laughs]

I haven't even seen it, but,
like, the little slit.

This shit good?
- Yes. I love it.

♪

Craig,
you know what '60s mod is?

[panting]

Whitney wishes he was
in the frickin' Who,

so now we have to dress like
what he wants to be.

What do you think?

[panting]

Yeah, that's what
the ladies are gonna do.

♪

We could put a
bunch of ice here,

and then the bottles
of champagne.

Right.

And I think people
are gonna--

as they come in, we'll offer
them a glass of champagne.

And he's gonna bring you
the mint julep cups.

OK.

♪

- Hey.
- Hi.

I like your jacket.

Yeah.
Something casual for daytime.

[upbeat jazz music]

Are you wearing
two glasses today?

These are non-prescription.
Those are prescription.

In case I have to read my phone
for something very important.

- Yeah.
- Like the weather.

It's supposed to stop raining
in an hour.

I have tarps to throw back on
if we have to.

It says it's supposed
to end...

- I have them behind the bush.
- In about an hour.

I know.

[thunder rumbles]

♪

Was Whitney born
in the '60s?

Uh--hey, Siri.

What year were you born
if you currently 54 years old?

1969.

Is the year we went
to the moon?

Why do you think
we never went back?

Because it was fake.

I can't get Wi-Fi
in certain areas in Charleston

but we went to the moon

and then we streamed it
to everyone in their homes?

[chuckling]
I don't think so.

Well, you clearly don't
understand thermodynamics.

[laughs]

♪

[BLEEP],
it's coming down hard.

[quirky suspenseful music]

0% chance of rain.

[BLEEP] you, Weather Channel.

♪

Here you go, darling.

Good thing I basically
wore a rain boots.

Thank you, Mr. Uber.

OK, I need it above me.

Hold on.
I'm not--you're gonna--hold on.

[BLEEP].
Baby, I'm getting soaked.

My hair is really
the most important thing here.

[laughter]

Oh, thank God
we covered the furniture.

♪

You're very demanding.

I'm making a run for it.

- Oh, hello.
- Hi.

- What's up?
- This is so nice. Oh, my God.

I haven't seen it since
it was studded out here.

- This is crazy.
- How are you?

- Thanks for coming.
- Thanks for having me.

Wait, can I look in there?
- Please, please.

Oh, my God.

It's still a work
in progress.

- This is so nice.
- Babe--yeah, isn't it?

If Whitney was trying
to build a place

to bring single
Charlestonian girls back to,

he achieved his goal.

Hey, guys. I'm now acting
as, like, bartender here.

How about some champagne?

A margarita?
[laughter]

♪

Oh. Oh.

Yes!
Shep's looking hot.

- Wow.
- You look like a famous DJ.

From Siberia.

My name is Dieter.
I'm from, uh, Dusseldorf.

Saucy.
I don't know what saucy means.

I like art and fashion
and new wave sh--.

♪

So the other day,
Shep texted me, like...

he was like, we'll have
a conversation at the party.

Regarding what?

I don't--
I really have no idea,

but he was like, we'll talk,
we'll talk.

I know it's just difficult
being his friend.

Our friendship has been,
like, a little bit confusing.

Like, everyone, they're
all like, he's still loves you.

So I mean,
I've always said it.

Like, I knew he loved you.

My interactions with Shep
in the past few weeks

have been positive and good.

Someone's trying to
get me drunk tonight.

Damn right.

We all have your back.

Get off my flippers.
[laughter]

I'm really glad that
we've been able

to have a good friendship
and I sometimes hope that

maybe there might still be
something there.

Like, I do love him,
I miss our--our relationship,

and I do wanna have
that stability

with, like, a partner.

I think I wanna change my bow.

I feel like I look like
Bamm-Bamm.

[upbeat music]

♪

Katie!

I love it.
What do you think?

I think I've never been
more attracted to myself.

I--[chuckles]
- No, I think this is right.

Yeah. I mean,
this shirt really works.

So what are you thinking?

[quirky suspenseful music]

No beef tonight?

I mean, I guess I'm hoping

that Olivia's going
to apologize to me.

OK.

I didn't know that
you were hoping for this.

Yeah.

I don't know
it's just like, Katie,

I can't walk
on eggshells anymore

around all these people.

[dramatic music]

♪

Coming up.

Mwah. Mwah.
What a beautiful outfit.

Thank you.

Where are your boobs? I've
never seen them so contained.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪

Come on.

♪

- Ha-ha!
- Yes, dude.

- Yes.
- It's on.

[laughter]
- Paige, my darling.

- There he is.
- How are you?

- Good, how are you?
- Ah.

I love when
it's just me and the boys.

[overlapping chatter]
- Katie.

Oh, she came.

- Look at his sunglasses.
- I knew it.

- Hey, how are you?
- How you doing?

- Very well.
- I almost wore those.

No, you didn't.

Now, I have my pants
tucked into my boots.

- Why are they tucked in?
- Wait.

Let's stock your bar, baby.

- Yeah, let's stock this [...].
- Let's.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
[laughter]

Oh, I love it.
Brick oven pizza.

- Pizza.
- Pizza.

- Taylor Ann.
- Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hello.
- You look like...

- Oh, you look so cute.
- You look so good.

- A fembot.
- How are you?

Hey, ladies. How are you?
Chelsea, hello.

You look kind of
like Jeffrey Dahmer.

I know.
That's what I said.

- Hello.
- You look very nice.

And great job with the place.

It's still not finished.
So--

Well, you did
a very lovely job.

- Thank you very much.
- Hello.

[indistinct chatter]
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good. How are you?

I can tell that Bailey
is back in town.

Yeah, I got a haircut.

I might not,
at this point in time,

be able to have a friendship
with Taylor...

I'm gonna go to
meander outside.

Yeah, we're all
going out there.

Because it's just not working.

I was in my house
with a couple girls,

and Taylor came over unannounced.

You don't think you might be,
perhaps, leading her on?

And I just wanna finally
draw some lines in the sand.

All right, ladies.
Gather under.

[upbeat jazz music]

Y'all are welcome
to come hang out

on the piazza as well.

How do we get through
with an umbrella?

- [laughs]
- Oh, you're so tall.

You could do it.

- I'm doing it.
- No, it's not happening.

No.
Oh, lookit.

That made so much more sense.
[laughs]

It's not a disaster.
It's just raining.

Oh, sh--.
That dripped right on my head.

Babe, which way?

There, up that stair.

I wish I could say
I'm not normally this ditzy,

but that's just not true.

[tense music]

A little moist.

OK.
Here we go.

- Hi, everyone.
- How are you?

Good to see you.
- Good. How are you?

I feel like I haven't
seen you in forever.

- Awkward.
- [laughs]

[chuckles] Yeah.

Honestly, it's a little bit
of a relief to not have to

act like there's a friendship
worth fighting for,

'cause there isn't.

♪

I was hoping that we could
mend things in Jamaica.

But I've owned up to
everything that I've done.

I can't do any more.

♪

- What's up, guys?
- Hey.

Good to see you.

Cheers, y'all.

Hi.
Where is--where's Olivia?

Um...
how about this?

Let's have a few more drinks.
- OK.

[laughter]

- I'll go get a drink.
- Well, well.

- Real turnout.
- Wow, what an awesome turnout.

Good.

Don't you look like
a porno Jackie O?

- What?
- How you doing, man?

Wait, a porno?
Isn't that what this is?

Oh, how pretty it would have
been if it was not raining.

Please don't beat me up
with this umbrella.

I know.

all: Hi.
[overlapping chatter]

How are you?

I should be at home
in my pajamas.

Hi. How are you?
Good to see you.

Whoo! Hi.
[laughter]

Good to see you, brother.
You look good, dog.

This sh-- is fire.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

[cork pops]

♪

What is this?

I have no idea,
but it's really good.

Yum.

There's JT and Rod
coming in as a couple.

- Cute.
- [laughing] Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look very beautiful.
- I'm shivering.

Do you want my jacket?
Please.

- I can't take your jacket.
- Yeah, please. Here.

- I don't want it.
- Are you sure?

I'm a gentleman from the '60s.
- Thank you. I'm good.

All right.

- Oh, my God.
- Hey!

- We're coming in wet.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good.

How you doing?
- Good to see you.

All right, I'm going in to
take your mom some champagne.

Brett, let's go.

OK, so I'm going to go ahead
and go upstairs.

OK.

Get a coupe glass,
because that's her favorite.

OK, all right.

[soft upbeat music]

♪

Hello.
- Hi.

[laughs]
You look fabulous.

What a--mwah, mwah.
What a beautiful outfit.

Thank you.

I didn't know we were
doing pink today.

- Me either, but we look great.
- I'm just admiring your shoes.

Oh, thank you.
I about broke my neck.

Brett's gonna bring us
some champagne.

- Hey.
- Oh, there he is.

How you doing?
How are you feeling?

I feel like
another couple weeks

and I'll be back to
getting into trouble.

- Oh, good.
- Oh, thank you, thank you.

- All right.
- Yeah.

Good to see you.
I'm glad you're feeling better.

If you need anything,
just let us know.

- Thank you so much.
- Yeah.

- See you in a little bit?
- Yeah.

Cheers. Well, I can't move,
just like you, so...

Where are your boobs?
[laughter]

I've never seen them
so contained.

I know. Isn't that boring?
[laughs]

It's still
getting the point across.

When Whitney got back
from Jamaica,

he didn't tell me too much.

Well, I think I had
my last hurrah in Jamaica

and I thought maybe it's time
I have a baby.

I'm only getting older
and I think it might be time.

So how do you feel about it?

Um, I'm scared.

Well, I was with you when
you were nine months pregnant.

And then I didn't see you
for, what, three months?

Bed rest.

Because you had a broken
pelvis, as I remember.

Yeah.
I had to use a walker.

- Yeah.
- It was awful.

Whew.
But who knows?

I mean, it could take years
for me to get pregnant.

I have no idea.

I haven't tried ever,
really, so...

[laughter]

I mean, Hudson is so--
I mean, I love him to death.

I would love to
have a daughter.

I mean, who's gonna
take care of me?

Well, that's one thing
I think about

because Whitney
is an only child.

When I kick the bucket,
he doesn't have cousins...

You're never
kicking the bucket.

Well, I'm not planning on it.

But you know,
having an only child,

they need to have a family.

Yeah.

I understand exactly where
Patricia's coming from.

Unfortunately, Whitney,
I just don't think he's ready.

He hasn't found that girl.

I hope and pray he does
because it is a great feeling.

Until then, he's just gonna

have to put up with me
as a sister, and so that's it.

If I have twins,
I'll give you one.

[laughter]
- Gee, thanks.

You're welcome.

Well, I'm gonna go spy
on all these kids down there.

I'll just stay up here
by myself and drink.

[laughter]

Coming up.

So what if
I want to date Austen?

Austen?

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

Oh, you and Manny
have on the same shoes.

- We have the exact same shoes.
- We do? Gwen?

- These are Gwen's.
- Magnanni, yeah.

Sure, man, Magnanni.
[laughter]

- Hi.
- How you doing?

You look great.
- When did you get here?

- You killed it.
- When 15, 20 minutes ago.

- Yeah?
- Not that long ago, I think.

- [laughs]
- Yeah.

I'm going to step out
for one second.

OK.

- Hey.
- What's up?

- Can we just talk for a sec?
- Yeah.

- All right, cool.
- What's going on?

I want to just
sweep around here.

- Sweep on over, boy.
- I like the...

I like the rain
hitting my coif.

Hold on.
- Yeah.

It's kind of like snowing.

[laughter]
Um...

so you know that you are
one of my best friends, right?

Yeah.

So in Jamaica, like,
we're having fun.

We're laughing the whole time...

I think it's funny.

We spent every flight
side by side.

When I needed
comedic relief...

- I'm your guy.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, I better just
say something now

and get it off my chest.

[suspenseful music]

I mean, every time we hung out,

it's just constant laughter,
constant joy.

Like, that's rare to find.

Obviously, like,
I love or friendship.

I know that you love our
friendship one million percent.

Like, I love you.

I would marry you tomorrow.

Here's a seat for you, Madame.

Oh, that was nice.

More of a gentleman
than Austen has ever been.

I'm trying to
figure out where--

[laughter]

- Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.
- Well, hello.

Hey.

Hey, let's go--
let's just go talk.

- She's not gonna do it.
- Yeah, it's fine.

All right.
- I do want to talk.

- Yeah.
- Go have a deep talk.

♪

I wanted to just tell you.

It's--it's there for me.
It's there.

We haven't crossed that
friendship threshold.

So it's like
what if you hated it?

You don't know.
I could be a total psychopath.

- You are a total psychopath.
- [laughing]

And do you know why
you're a total psychopath?

No.
Why?

It's psychopathic to me
to just like,

if knowing
we could die tomorrow,

to not just, like,
give it a try.

[soft dramatic music]

Um, I just--I think that
I'm like, obviously,

there's a lot going on.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, you know, Shep's
still here, and it's like...

Right.

I think I just still need

some time to, like, process
and heal and move forward.

I wish that
I could wake up and...

and JT would be my person.

But I'm just more attracted
to the assholes.

Thank you.
I mean...

You didn't comment
on my leather jacket.

Where's yours?

- I didn't wear it because--
- You should have.

It's not very...

- Hello, sir.
- 1960s.

- How are you?
- I am good.

You're like,
early Justin Bieber...

Like a washed-up
Justin Bieber's dad.

Yeah, something like that, yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

Come and talk to me.

OK.

I appreciate you.
- I love you.

Great talk.
Yeah, I appreciate you.

I just wanted to make sure
there was no awkwardness.

And I'll go back
to suppressing it.

There's a saying about
how the good guy never wins.

Watch every movie ever made.

Except for "Braveheart,"
of course.

The good guy always wins.

So maybe I'm not the one,
but one day eventually,

Taylor is going to find
a good guy.

- Oof.
- Whew.

And guys like Austen
will lose.

[indistinct cheerful chatter]

Don't put your wet drink
on her nice table.

Can you give me
one of the frogs?

[laughs]

What is JT talking about?

- Um--
- Did you all hook up or not?

No.
In Jamaica?

- Yeah, I don't know.
- No.

- I saw you guys dancing...
- God no.

And carrying on.

We have not crossed
the threshold of friendship.

And...

You don't want to
do that ever again?

Cross the threshold
of friendship?

Whatever happened between me
and Austen, I don't regret.

O...K.

[suspenseful music]

How are you?
You look nice.

Good.

How are you?
- I'm good.

Well, I'm just trying to talk
to you in lieu of Jamaica,

and what I want to
get to the bottom of

is, like, that things seem
one way when we talk like this,

and then another way when
we talk in public.

And, like--
- I mean, I know it's--

I know it's been inconsistent
with us.

But like,
it's not a good friendship.

It just seems like
nothing is genuine.

[tense notes]

That's not friendship.

I'm just trying
to be here for you.

Austen, you're not--

And I've only ever
done that for you.

You--

When have I not
been there for you?

You get off on like,
getting two girls...

No, I don't.

You don't even know
what I'm gonna say.

Look at that the paper trail
of pissed-off women you leave.

That's because--

But we all have the
same thing to say about you.

Don't have--

Like, at what point do
you want to stop having

conversations and actually just
go have one with yourself?

Taylor,
I want to get to a place

where we can be super
supportive and...

and kind.

And over the last couple
of months,

we've made a really cool step.

Have there been emotions
involved? Yes.

My cool step was in hopes
for something more.

And I think that like...

Your cool step was in hopes
of something more?

Correct.

Why? Do you want to
get back together?

Possibly.

While I appreciate the times
you've been my friend

and you've like,
been there for me,

like, it doesn't feel like it
talking to you right now.

You're just kind of like...

Well, that's because
this whole thing,

you're, like,
flipping it on its head.

And it's not what I was
expecting to happen at all.

I was like, I think that
she's gonna come to me

and say that like,
"Holy sh--, Austen,

like, I'm sorry that I let my
emotions get the best of me."

[dramatic music]

You thought
I was gonna apologize to you?

Oh, my God.

If you took your head
out your narcissistic asshole

for five seconds,
you would see that

I'm going through
a couple things right now

and apologizing to your
weird ass is not one of them.

- There's definitely a major
- ing disconnect here.

I couldn't agree more.

♪

I'm a hopeless romantic.

And so at the end
of the day, like,

that happiness outweighs
all the rest.

And I found that--
- Does it, though? Like--

- Can I speak?
- Yeah.

You loved and cared
about me...

- Yeah.
- But I also care about us.

Taylor, us is over.

I don't think
this is repairable.

Then why are we
sitting here talking?

Because I want
to know if, like,

we can, like, be supportive
of one another, like,

if you can, like,
bring a date or whatever.

OK, so what if
I want to date Austen?

That would be O--
Austen?

[dramatic music]

OK, so what if
I want to date Austen?

That would be O--
Austen?

That's who you want to date?

What if I want to date him?

I'll shake my head
and be like, "wowza."

Just be like,
"It would bother me."

Just say that.

Be like, "It would bother me
if you were to date Austen."

If y'all were genuinely
in love with one another,

no, I will not stand
in your way.

[quirky tense music]

♪

What's up, brother?

I brought a little treat.

Just in time.

- What I miss?
- I told her I loved her.

And I do.
- I know.

But she was like,
oh, appreciate you, bud.

[sighs]

[sputters]

Taylor,
why are you mad at me?

I'm not. I just--I just...
I don't get it.

Can we coexist
and be supportive?

Sure.

Just--just forget for now
that the romantic stuff.

Do your thing.
I'll do my thing.

But I'm still
gonna message you.

But if that----s
with your head,

just, like,
rudimentary communication,

you need to let me know.
- I think it might.

All right, I won't.

I know that sounds selfish,

but I think I need
to be selfish in this moment.

OK.

Anyway, well,
thanks for talking to me.

Yeah.

I don't know what to say.

And I'm sorry about anything,
really, like from the past.

And in the future...
- It's all good.

I'll try to be
your biggest advocate.

Water off a duck's back.

[somber music]

[sputters]

♪

[sobbing]

It breaks my heart.

I want to make her happy even
if I'm not with her.

But I made the right decision.

And maybe we can be happy
in the same realm

and be happy for each other.

And that's...
that's my big goal.

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

Here.
Come here.

[screams]

Make it work, baby,
make it work.

Whoo.

♪

Hello.
What is that?

How are you?
Tequila.

You drink tequila
with no ice?

- I do tonight.
- Olivia, that's...

- Taste it.
- A serial killer.

[laughter]

Let's go!
[laughter]

Brittany, let's celebrate
the rest of the night.

Guten Tag.

- What's up, guys?
- Hey.

Hey, is there anything left
in here?

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Taylor.

[tense music]

I can't stop thinking
about the fact

that Taylor kissed Austen.

"Kissed."

She doesn't want me.

An actual successful,
good, positive man.

♪

To Shep!

Thank you, finally.

I finally get the recognition
I deserve.

[indistinct chatter]

You're a snake and a coward.

You have been the genesis

of why there's so much pain
and tears.

Who?

Dude, you're the one
that, like,

initiated this whole thing

when you put your nose where
it doesn't belong.

When you have a sleepover
with a girl

that is your friend's ex,
it's murky.

What the [BLEEP]?
Like, what the [BLEEP]?

Everyone here,
everyone has said...

- Oh, what did they say?
- Everyone here.

Regale me.

You are an arm's-length
friend...

Me?

Who cannot be trusted
around any woman.

JT.

I want to understand how

you can be such a piece of sh--
in this town.

JT? JT?

How many people have
you hurt in this town?

Taylor.

You're gonna yell at the girl
that you went after...

Hold on.
That's enough yelling.

I'm not yelling at her.

JT, for you to be
coming after Austen

like this after
I heard about you--

You're gonna take
his back right now?

- I'm not taking his back.
- Got it.

I'll never forget this.
- Listen.

I'll never forget this.

What are you so upset about?

[sighs]

[tense music]

Oh, now I get it.

He's jealous of me.

JT is so jealous of me.

He wanted Taylor so bad,
and I get the girl.

JT doesn't. Guys like JT don't
get the girl.

I get the girl.

Shep called you a boy
in a sandbox

that wants everyone else's
shiny toy.

Shep is upset, buddy.

Yeah, cause
you---ed his girlfriend.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait.
Can we put this to sleep?

So my point is this.

I'm talking man to man
to you right now.

My point is this.

I'm the child?

You're a little boy
that cried wolf

wrapped in a 6'5" frame,
and now I'm at your height,

looking at you man
to man in the face.

And guess what?
Guess what?

- I'm serious, man!
- Chill.

Chill. Everybody, chill.
- Do it again! [shouts]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Chill, chill!
- Stop!

[overlapping chatter]

Chill.
Chill out.

I'm tired of negativity.

Ten years, never physical
contact, and here you come in.

- You hit me first.
- You headbutted me.

You hit me first.
Guess what?

You----ing lose.
- Man.

I'll see you never again.

You can't help yourself, dude.

[somber music]

I didn't want it to go there.
I didn't.

JT, let's go.
Let's go outside.

Come on.

- This is----ing insane!
- No, dude. Calm down.

Calm down, dude.
Calm down.

- It's OK.
- I'm leaving.

♪

I think Austen
and I's relationship is...

is very frayed.

And I mean, I gave him
the benefit of the doubt

over the past few months.

But he did wrong.

He did wrong, he was
a bad friend, and it hurts.

I hate to say it, but
Austen kind of deserves it.

And nobody can dispute that.

♪

[car horns honking]

Next week on the
"Southern Charm" reunion.

- Hello.
- One minute, guys.

Your ass, my titty, my hair.
Something's popping out.

[laughs]

Let's clear people
out the way, please.

Let's see on this shot.
Ready. Here we go.

[phone ringing]

Sorry.

- Nine years.
- Nine years.

Nine years.

- [laughs]
- Sorry.

I think I wanna perform the
first-ever----boy exorcism.

[bell rings]
[laughter]

The power of JT compels you.

[laughter]
- Jesus.

Do you leave ladies happy
when you--

I try. Every girl's
finish line is so finicky.

Whoo-hoo.

I wish it was as simple
as it is for guys.

That's just an excuse
that they tell you.

[laughter]

Who in this group thinks

Paige is gonna move
to Charleston?

No.

Like, why don't we fix this?

Austen manipulates
and then gaslights his way out,

lies and covers things up,
and is a narcissist egomaniac.

- JT, you are obsessed with me.
- I'm telling the truth.

It's so weird.

I have deleted every message
with Whitney.

Yeah, but Taylor,
I saw the whole thread.

Whoa. What?

You were, like,
sexting with Whitney.

Did you hook up with Whitney?

You don't know
how hurt I was.

Have you given him
a sincere apology?

Like, that's your boy.

Are you in love with Taylor?

I would be lying if
I didn't say I made a mistake.

Wow.

I'm the one overreacting?
I'm inconsistent?

Like, I'm going through
some stuff.

Your whole
character's inconsistent.

What's your excuse?

What would you need to hear
from her to move forward?