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1
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,549
Hey, waldo,
When are you gonna
2
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,585
Pay back that 10 bucks
I loaned you?
3
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,487
Right now.
4
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:23,691
Ah, shoot. I left my wallet
In my other pants.
5
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,759
Oh, that old excuse.
6
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,027
No prob, bob.
7
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,255
Waldo?
What's up?
8
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,093
Why are you wearing
Two pairs of pants?
9
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,832
Because I don't want to
Get my good pair dirty.
10
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,603
Duh!
11
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:16,610
Here, waldo,
Take this $10 and
Buy yourself a clue.
12
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,152
Hi, everybody.
Hey.
13
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,019
Hi, guys.
14
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,123
Hey, what's with
The prune puss, partner?
15
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,926
His basketball coach
Dropped a bomb on him.
16
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,695
Oh, yeah, what?
17
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,630
He wants me to take
Some special training
18
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:40,100
To increase my agility
And flexibility, that's all.
19
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,670
No big deal.
Let's move on.
20
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,372
Well, wait.
21
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,806
What kind
Of training?
22
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,541
Uh, just some stuff.
23
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,178
It's no big deal.
Let's move on.
24
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:53,681
Oh, come on, eddie,
They're your friends.
They'll understand.
25
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:57,084
See, eddie's coach
Wants him to take
Ballet lessons.
26
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,486
[snickers]
27
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,762
Did you
Hear that, waldo?
28
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:13,066
Eddo's going to be
Taking ballet lessons.
29
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,836
[snickers]
30
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,037
Yeah, I heard.
31
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,506
I think he'll
Look really cute
32
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,208
In one of those
Pink, frilly tu-tus.
33
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,277
Ha ha ha ha!
34
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,179
Dance with me, eddo.
35
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,582
Alright,
Knock it off.
36
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,618
A lot of
Top professional athletes
37
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,753
Have taken ballet to
Improve their moves.
38
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,988
You know, he's right.
Peggy fleming--
39
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,691
Mary lou retton,
Flo jo--
40
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,327
Ah, richard simmons...
41
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:42,095
Eddie! Eddie! Eddie.
42
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,997
Listen, I got an idea.
What?
43
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,499
Why don't I take
The class with you?
44
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,936
I took ballet for years. I'd
Love to get back into ballet.
45
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,806
I would feel
More comfortable
If you were there.
46
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,943
Great. You'll get
The training you need,
47
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,746
And I'll get to
See you in tights.
48
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,548
Hmm.
Ha ha ha ha.
49
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:02,916
Tights.
Tights.
50
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,627
Join us, eddo.
51
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,396
We're butterflies.
52
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,465
That's it.
Come here.
53
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,400
Come here! Both of you,
Come here!
54
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,679
Oh, it's freezing
Out there.
55
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,248
But I love
Figure skating.
56
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:39,953
Oh, me, too, especially
When it's your figure
That's skating.
57
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,121
That's so sweet.
58
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:42,556
You want some
Hot chocolate?
59
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,292
I got a better way
To warm up.
60
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,693
What's that?
61
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,600
Oh, curtis.
What's wrong?
62
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,735
My grandmother's coming
Over to borrow my skis.
63
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,370
I don't want her
To catch us kissing.
64
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,339
Won't we hear her coming?
65
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,874
Baby, once I
Start on your lips,
I ain't stopping.
66
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,412
Alright,
A rain check?
67
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,046
I'll go get the hot
Chocolate started.
68
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,448
I'll miss you.
69
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,492
Whew!
70
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:23,731
Hi.
71
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,499
Hi.
72
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,000
Who the heck are you?
73
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:32,072
I'm curtis williams.
Laura and I
Went ice skating.
74
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,642
Oh, how nice.
75
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,276
Hot chocolate
Coming right up.
76
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,678
Thank god
For instant.
77
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,481
There's no hurry.
I was talking to
Your grandma.
78
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,390
Excuse me?
79
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,527
Oh, lord, you're
Going to die.
80
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,332
Grandma?
81
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,268
Uh, curtis, that's
Not my grandmother,
82
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,504
That's my mother.
83
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:05,305
Oh, lord,
I'm going to die.
84
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,977
Curtis, let's go
In the kitchen
85
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,912
And get out
Of this room.
86
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,081
Grandma?
87
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,052
Harriette!
88
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:28,996
Sweetheart, I can't find
My lucky toothbrush.
89
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,598
It fell in the toilet.
90
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,035
Guess it isn't
Lucky anymore.
91
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:38,906
Harriette?
Hmm?
92
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,175
You okay?
93
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,078
I just met
Laura's boyfriend.
94
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:46,246
Yeah?
95
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:49,282
He thought I
Was her grandmother.
96
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,284
Ouch.
97
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,987
Carl, do I really
Look that old?
98
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,089
Oh, don't be silly.
99
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,959
No, really.
Am I an old bag?
100
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,561
Paper or plastic?
101
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,331
Carl, I'm serious.
102
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,934
Harriette,
Don't overreact
103
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,303
To some thoughtless remark
By some goofy kid.
104
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,772
Sweetheart,
When I look at you,
105
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,808
The last word
I think about is old.
106
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:20,781
Oh, what do you know?
You're even older
Than me.
107
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,892
Okay, roaches,
Roll call.
108
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,997
Henry, maureen, vivian,
109
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,166
Bubba...
110
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,501
Bubba?
111
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,103
Bubba?
112
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,607
Which one of you
Ate bubba? 'fess up.
113
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,443
[ring]
114
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,448
Hello de oh.
115
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:57,485
Well, comb my weave.
If it ain't
Cousin steve.
116
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:04,391
Well, bust my girdle.
If it ain't cousin myrtle.
How you be?
117
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,828
Well, I have been producing
More ear wax than usual.
118
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,431
But other than that,
I'm full of beans.
119
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:13,867
I'm calling for eddie.
120
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,203
Is my yankee
Doodle dandy handy?
121
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,340
No, he's at
His ballet class.
122
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,275
Ooh, ballet?
123
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:26,814
Why, the very idea
Of my edward leapin'
Around in leotards
124
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,783
Makes my heart
Go kong-chi-kong.
125
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,021
His class is giving
A recital this saturday.
126
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,256
The whole family's going
To go watch him and greta
127
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,058
Do a scene
From swan lake.
128
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,795
Uh, greta? He's
Doing the pas de deux
129
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,564
With that
Sleep around sue?
130
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,736
Oh, well,
That just won't do.
131
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,940
Now, myrtle, eddie
And greta are an item,
132
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,509
And there's nothing
You can do about it.
133
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:59,079
Oh, really. Well, you
Underestimate me, cuz.
134
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,282
As of this very moment,
135
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:07,087
A state of war exists
Between me and that
Northern strumpet.
136
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:11,424
Why, I shall
Carefully deploy all
My bodacious battlements
137
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,828
And outflank
That bony bimbo.
138
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,897
And when the cannon
Smoke clears,
139
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,266
Only one of us
Will be left standing--
140
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,501
Myrtle mae urkel.
141
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:26,974
[plays charge]
142
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,947
Charge, y'all!
143
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,182
Whoo!
144
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,219
Myrtle?
145
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,287
Myrtle?
146
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,222
Myrtle?
147
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,675
Hi.
148
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,312
Hi.
Hi.
149
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,547
Notice anything different?
150
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,982
Harriette. Ha ha ha.
151
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:14,855
Well, I--I--I--I see
You've been shopping.
152
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,957
I was feeling
A little dowdy,
153
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,326
So I decided to
Give myself a makeover.
154
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,261
Nobody's will
Call me grana now.
155
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:25,298
Uh, no--no--
No argument there.
Ha ha ha.
156
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,067
So, what do you think?
157
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,103
Well...
158
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,608
How do I look?
159
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,678
Well, harriette, uh...
160
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,647
You--you look, uh,
161
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,048
You--hmm--
162
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,516
You--you look, uh,
You--you--that's
A look, right?
163
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,685
Ha ha ha ha.
164
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:45,953
Isn't that a look?
165
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,355
Look at that.
166
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,057
Wait till you see
What else I got.
167
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,659
Oh, gosh, daddy,
There's more.
168
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,026
Oh, I heard.
169
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,628
Don't go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
170
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:58,065
Don't worry,
'cause I can't move.
171
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:01,101
Laura, the next time you
Have a boyfriend over,
172
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,603
Show him the family
Album first, okay?
173
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:04,838
What are
We going to do?
174
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:08,475
Mom's dressed
Like courtney love.
175
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,011
She's still
Down in the dumps
About this age thing.
176
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:15,448
Let's just
Be supportive while
She works through this.
177
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:19,252
Alright, but if she
Goes to daytona
For spring break,
178
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,387
I'm speaking up.
179
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,861
[music plays]
180
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,749
Carl, we're late.
181
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,718
You said it wouldn't
Start until 8:30.
182
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,753
I must have
Read the tickets wrong.
183
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:05,933
Harriette! Good lord,
What have you done
To yourself--
184
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,069
'cause you look great.
185
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,484
[music stops]
186
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,953
[applause]
187
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,064
And now, our two
Newest students...
188
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:40,033
Greta mcclure
And edward winslow.
189
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,735
[applause]
190
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,238
[music plays]
191
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,660
Aah!
192
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,095
Aah!
193
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,098
Myrtle?
194
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,232
Eddie?
195
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,300
Uhh!
196
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,637
What do you want,
Myrtle?
197
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,878
Am I to gather
From the expression
On your face
198
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:15,082
That you're displeased
With my behavior?
199
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,517
No, I'm
Not displeased,
200
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,086
I'm furious!
201
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,621
What did you
Do with greta?
202
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:25,092
Well, she accidently
Got chained to the sink.
203
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,028
Myrtle!
204
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,629
I left her some gum.
205
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,200
Look, for the last time,
206
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,902
Stop meddling
In my life.
207
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,271
Greta is my girlfriend,
Not you.
208
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,373
In fact, there's
Absolutely no way
209
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,375
That you and I
Will ever be together.
210
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,177
Oh, stop
Saying that, eddie.
211
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,413
Over time,
Love can balloon.
212
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,347
No, it can't.
213
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,983
Not only do
I not love you,
214
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,852
I don't
Even like you.
215
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,221
I see.
216
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,461
Well, that's...
That's crystal clear.
217
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,365
Apparently, I've made
A complete fool of myself.
218
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:21,081
I apologize, eddie,
For interfering
In your life.
219
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,316
Never again will I
Darken your door.
220
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,554
I shall...
221
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,990
I shall return
To urkel oaks
222
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:34,027
To live a sequestered life
Among the daffodils.
223
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,199
Perhaps I'll
Join a nunnery,
224
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,501
Or just work
For the dmv.
225
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,406
Oh...
226
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:47,807
Oh...
227
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:50,943
Well, I'm sorry
If I hurt your
Feelings, myrtle.
228
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,945
No, no, no.
229
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,383
You were
Just being honest.
230
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,318
Well, if you
Just relax a little
231
00:16:58,385 --> 00:16:59,886
And stop
Pushing so hard--
232
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:01,854
You'll come to love me?
233
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,490
No.
234
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:07,060
There's
A slim chance that
We could be friends.
235
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,363
I'd like that.
236
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,169
You!
237
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,243
Why don't you walk a dog
Like everyone else?
238
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,882
I'm going to
Jam your head
239
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,085
Through the drain
Of this sink.
240
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,586
Uh-oh! Violent streak.
241
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,257
Would you
Trust your children
With a woman like that?
242
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,359
Okay, cool it now,
You two.
243
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:44,131
You listen to me,
You southern
Fried floozy!
244
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,333
Eddie is my man.
245
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,801
So you keep your
Corn pone eatin',
246
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,002
Boll weevil suckin',
247
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,139
Catfish catchin'
Hands off of him!
248
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,710
Now, come on, girl!
249
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,645
Come on, girl!
250
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,980
Baby, baby, baby, baby.
251
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,450
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
252
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:10,089
Now, you listen to me,
You windy city witch.
253
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,625
Get me out!
Get me out!
254
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,563
I'll put my hands
Wherever I please.
255
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,967
So you get your
Big ol' hankerin',
256
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,502
Cottage cheese thighs
Out of here,
257
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:25,838
Because
You've way exceeded
This building's ugly limit!
258
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:29,142
Baby, no! Come on!
Baby, be cool!
259
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,211
Don't you
Clobber me, girl!
260
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:41,988
Hi.
261
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,023
Well, hi.
262
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,158
What's the matter?
263
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,893
Your leather nightie
At the cleaners?
264
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,731
Carl, I'm getting rid of
All those crazy outfits.
265
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,435
I'm going to donate
Them to a shelter
For madonna wannabees.
266
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,506
Well, why
The sudden change?
267
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:04,377
Well, carl, when we went
To the recital tonight,
268
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,579
I got a lot of strange
Looks from people.
269
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,249
And then when
We were leaving,
270
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:12,252
I think two teenage girls
Made fun of me.
271
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,687
How do you know?
272
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,724
Well, the pointing
And laughing
Kind of tipped me off.
273
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,128
Yeah, that would do it.
274
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,830
When I met
Laura's boyfriend
275
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,200
And he thought
I was a grandmother,
It made me crazy.
276
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,437
I thought if
I dressed young,
I'd feel young.
277
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,406
Sweetheart, sit down.
278
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,679
Take a look at my mama.
279
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:44,083
She is the youngest
86-year-old
On this earth.
280
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:47,887
Sweetheart, age is
Just a state of mind.
281
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,656
I realize that now.
282
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,892
I'm not old unless
I think I'm old.
283
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,427
Well, anyway,
284
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,730
I'm out of
The mtv generation now.
285
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,932
I'm going back to
The home shopping channel.
286
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,201
Ha ha ha ha.
287
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,237
Well, welcome back.
288
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,340
And, honey?
Hmm?
289
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,075
Thank you
For not saying,
290
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,278
"Harriette,
You look like a fool."
291
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,882
Well, I knew you'd work
This out for yourself.
292
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,817
You didn't
Need my input.
293
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,952
I appreciate that.
294
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,888
Tell you what.
295
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,624
Come on upstairs,
Let me thank you properly.
296
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,297
Okay, but one thing.
What?
297
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,499
Will you wear the wig?
I like the wig.
20182
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