All language subtitles for Family Matters S04E24 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

[theme music]

I'm a little concerned
About your new barbecue grill.

Are you sure
You put it together right?

Am I sure?

Am I sure?

Harriette, I am the barbecue
Chef, extraordinaire.

I am the king of meat.

May I ask you a question,
O' royal meatiness?

You may.

How come you spent so much money
On that new high-tech barbecue?

We could've used that money
To fix up the kitchen.

Harriette, we don't need
To redo the kitchen.

We got a swell kitchen.

I would not dream
Of redoing this kitchen.

I shall return shortly
With cooked meat.

[explosion]

[glass shattering]

I've been thinking..

...It's time
To redo the kitchen.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

* it's a rare condition
This day and age *

* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *

* love and tradition
Of the grand design *

* some people say
It's even harder to find *

* well then there must be
Some magic clue inside *

* these chiseled walls *

* cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' out
Of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love
Of the family **

[theme music]

Hidy-ho, sugar comb.

What do you want,
Steve?

Well, I'm sorry
To interrupt your reading

But I desperately need
To talk to you.

About what?

Well, laura..

...I feel like my emotions
Are stuck in a mix master

And you're the only one
That can pull the plug.

Does this have anything
To do with myra?

I thought you two were
Getting along great.

We are, just last weekend,
We grabbed our accordions

And drove down to beloit for
Polka-till-you-plotz festival.

Sounds romantic.

Oh, it was.

Eight thousand accordions
Glistening in the moonlight

Playing,
"She's too fat for me."

Wow, now that's livin'.

Myra genuinely,
Seems to like me.

I mean, a beautiful,
Intelligent girl..

...Actually likes me.

- well, that's wonderful.
- yeah.

No, it isn't.

Oh, it's awful.

I'm riddled with guilt.

Guilt?

Well, yes.

Laura, my heart
Belongs to you

But I'm locking lips
With another woman.

Steve, you're causing
Yourself a great deal

Of unnecessary pain.

- I am?
- yeah.

If you would only emotionally
Commit yourself to myra

Your guilt will go away.

But to do that...Wouldn't
I have to forget about you?

Yes!

I mean, that's true but..

...Myra really cares about you

And she deserves a guy
Who's totally committed to her.

You're right.

Myra is more than
Just a funky-spunky

Gimme gimmelove toy.

- why, she's a person.
- a person with feelings.

Hmm.

Hmm, you know--

Snuck up on me.

[instrumental music]

Carl? You don't need
To find a part-time job.

We can fix the kitchen
With your next paycheck.

No, I got to pay the mortgage
With my next paycheck.

Well, then,
We can use my next paycheck.

No, that's no good. I bought
The barbecue with that one.

Hey, mom.

- hey, dad.
- hi, eddie.

How's it going
At mighty weenie?

Same as always,
Dog eat dog.

Hey, you hear that,
Dad? Dog eat dog?

Edward, please.
I'm tryin' to concentrate.

On what?

Well, your father's trying
To find a part-time job

So he can
Rebuild the kitchen.

Oh, yeah?

They're looking for more people
Down at mighty weenie.

It only pays minimum wage

But you get a bathroom break
Every six hours.

[chuckling]

Edward...
Son..

Your father
Is a law enforcement officer.

A highly skilled professional.

Now, I think that I can do just
A little bit better

Than slinging hot dogs,
Don't you?

- yeah, you're right.
- hm-mm.

- I'm sorry, dad.
- that's okay.

You're young, son.
You didn't think.

You see, if a man with my
Credentials winds up with a job

At a place like mighty weenie,
It could only mean one thing..

...That there are no other jobs
Available on this planet.

Footlong hot dogs
Are mighty weenies.

Regular size dogs
Are in-betweenie weenies.

And-and the kids get the
Teeny-weenie eeny-meeny weenies.

I wanna die.

Oh, dad, cheer up,
Will you?

Well, son, it's just
Very hard to smile

When you're wearing
A hot dog on your head.

Well, look at the bright side.

At least we get
To work together.

Well, that's true.

Father and son,
Side by side.

- the dynamic duo of dogs.
- yeah.

Ah, you're right,
Son.

Okay.

You and I are gonna be
The best weenie slingers

In the history
Of chi-town, huh?

Yeah,
That's my dad talking.

(both)
Huh!

[instrumental music]

Hey, laura.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Oh, come on,
Something's wrong.

What is it?

I can't tell you,
Aunt rachel,

It's too weird
And twisted and sick.

Ooh.

Now, laura, you know that
I have done my share of livin'

So nothing you could say
Would shock me.

I miss steve urkel.

[gasping]

Oh, you need
Professional help.

- you see? I told you--
- oh, come on, I'm just teasing.

Let's just think
This thing through.

Okay, now, you convinced steve
To forget about you..

...And concentrate
On myra, right?

Right.

And that was two weeks ago
And I haven't seen him since.

So? Why aren't you
Thrilled?

I was at first, but then,
Starting a couple of days ago

I actually started
To miss him.

Do you think I'm suffering
From some kind of

Post-traumatic
Pest disorder?

No. I think there's
A much more

Normal explanation
For your feelings.

- really?
- hm.

What is it?

Well, I think that
Somehow over the years

When you weren't looking..

...You and steve..

...Became friends.

[instrumental music]

Winslow.

(both)
Yes, sir.

And winslow.

(both)
Yes, sir.

I need to talk to you.

I have some good news.

The good news is I've been
Promoted to district manager.

Oh, congratulations.

- way to go.
- thank you.

Now, that leaves the position
Of night manager open here.

I've been watching you both
Very carefully..

...And I've made my choice.

Carl, you're hard-working,
You're intelligent

You're mature,
You're a natural-born leader

And no one is better qualified
For this job than you.

Thank you, sir,
I just--

But you're leaving in three
Weeks, so I chose your kid.

Congratulations, eddie.

Not only will you be earning
A dollar more an hour

But you get to wear
This manager's blazer

With the coveted
Silver weenie patch.

Oh!
The silver weenie!

- oh, god!
- come here. Come here.

Best of all, you don't have
To wear that stupid hat anymore.

[laughing]

Carl, say hello
To your new boss.

[instrumental music]

Here you are,
Sir.

One mighty weenie
And one low-fat leanie weenie.

Thank you.

Have a weenie day.

- uh, excuse me, carl.
- yes.

You're supposed
To wish the customer

"A wonderful weenie day".

Not just a weenie day.

It's a small
But important difference.

Gee, I'm so sorry.

But that's the third time
I've had to remind you.

Why don't you just stand me
In front of everybody

And fling sauerkraut at me?

Ah, ah, ah. Now, you're
Being sarcastic.

And according to
The employee handbook

Sarcasm is a condiment
That sours a happy weenie.

I'll try to remember that,
Edward.

Uh, carl, I think
That it would be better

If you addressed me
As "Sir" or "Mr. Winslow".

You've got to be kidding.

Oh, no, carl.

I mean, after all, we are
Running a business here.

I don't believe this.

Now, carl, I'd like for you
To bus those tables

And refill the napkin
Dispensers.

Alright.

Then empty the trash cans,
Scrub the grills

And mop the bathroom floors.

And while I'm doing all of that,
What will you be doing?

Oh, well, I'll be doing
What I'm supposed to be doing..

...Supervising.

Phew! I'm bushed.
I'm gonna crash.

Bushed?
From what?

Well, what's the matter
With you?

What's the matter with me?

I'll tell you
What's the matter with me.

You had me doing
Every filthy, disgusting job

In the history
Of fast food.

Wow, take it easy,
Carl.

And don't call me that!

We are home now,
Edward.

And inside these walls,
I'm the head weenie.

- okay, okay.
- okay, "Sir".

Okay, sir.

And tomorrow is saturday..

...And there are just
A few things around the house

That need to be done.

Like what?

Well, first,
The lawn needs to be mowed.

Okay, I'll get up
Early and do it.

And then, you'll trim the
Hedges, paint the garage door

Take down the storm windows,
And wash and wax my car.

And while I'm doing all this,
What will you be doing?

What I'm supposed
To be doing, supervising.

What's going on here?

Mom, dad's freakin' out
Just because

I made him do a little work
Down at mighty weenie.

Wrong. He's the one
That's freakin' out.

Your son is power crazy.

- power crazy?
- that's right.

The minute you put on
A blue blazer

With the silver-plated
Weenie patch

You started goose stepping
Like a hot-dog hitler.

Oh, that does it.
You're fired.

Oh, yeah?
Well, you're grounded.

Oh...For what?

For firing me.

Alright, alright,
Alright, that's enough.

Now, stop the fight
And sit down, both of you.

Well, it should be easy
For him to sit down,

He's been doing it all night.

Carl!

You know, I was afraid
There'd be trouble

When eddie got promoted..

But I hoped you'd both
Be mature enough to handle it.

(both)
Well, I was mature.
No, you weren't.

Alright! Alright!
Alright! Alright!

Carl, admit it.
You're jealous of eddie.

You wanted that position.

What? Who? Me?
What you..

Well, maybe a little.

And eddie...Weren't you
Getting back at your father

Just a little for
All the chores

That's he's made you do
Over the years?

Well, maybe,
Just a little.

Carl, it seems to me that
Instead of being jealous

Of eddie you should be
Proud of his success.

And look for ways to help him
Out with this new position.

That would've
Been nice.

And eddie, instead of
Lording it over your father

You should've taken advantage
Of all his years of experience

And asked him
For some suggestions.

That would've
Been nice.

You know, you both
Should think about something.

For the next few weeks,
You gotta be boss and employee.

But don't let that interfere
With what you're gonna be

For the rest of your lives,
Father and son.

She's right, you know.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too, son.

I love you, son.

I love you too..

...Carl.

Oh, that's so beautiful.

[doorbell ringing]

Steve, myra.

Hi, laura. I thought
We'd just stop by.

Come on in.

Why are you guys
All dressed up?

Well, we're attending
An art gallery opening.

This is so sweet,
You both like the same things.

Laura, do you mind
You mind if I skip to your loo?

It's right over there.

I'll be just a moment,
Stevie.

A moment without you
Is an eternity.

Ah!

So, laura,
Long time no see.

Steve, usually when I call you,
You rush right over

Before I can
Hang up the phone.

I left a message
For you two days ago.

Oh, well...I've been busy.

So then I guess things
Are going pretty well

With you and myra, huh?

Laura, you were right.

Why, my emotional confusion
Disappeared the moment

I committed my little
Urkel heart to myra.

Oh, that's-that's great.

Oh, we adore each other.

Why, we're inseparable.

We even spent some time
In the sensory deprivation tank.

And believe you me,
I didn't feel deprived.

How nice for you.

Thanks for your advice, laura.
You're a good friend.

- so, we're still friends?
- oh, absolutely.

Oh, good, 'cause over
The last two weeks

I actually started to miss you
An eensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy bit.

You love me,
Don't you?

No, no, no.

I made myself scarce,
And now you want me.

No, steve. I was just
Trying to be nice.

Look at those tissues.

You've been crying
Your eyes out for me all night.

No!

Oh, laura..

...My heart is blasting
40 love songs in a row

With no commercial
Interruptions.

- steve?
- oh, laura. Laura, my pet.

I pursued you before, but baby,
You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Steve, please, calm down.

Calm down!
Calm down!

Good lord, woman,
You just told me you missed me.

Why, take a four day weekend,
America.

Steve, come here.

Oh, no!
Laura, oh!

Laura winslow,
Get your hands off my man.

Myra, you don't understand.

I understand, alright.

I leave this room for one minute
And you go into heat.

Excuse me?

Uh, myra, myra, now, you have
Every right to be upset.

Alas, I've mislead you,
My little milk dud.

You have?

Yes.

And I've treasured
Every moment of it with you..

...But the truth
Of the matter is..

...There's always been a part
Of me, hidden deep in my heart..

...That can only
Think of laura.

So don't blame her,
Blame me.

Oh, steven, it's so
Like you to be noble.

But you're just a hunky pawn
In this she-devil's love game.

She-devil?

Who are you
Calling she-devil?

Now, ladies, I do believe,
Excuse me. No, myra, myra.

You listen to me,
Miss laura.

I love steve urkel.

He's the hot fudge
On my sundae.

And let me tell you
Something, honey.

Nobody steals my dessert.

I tried to be nice
And you stabbed me in the back.

Strap on your howitzer, missy.

From now on, it's war.

Well, I think that went
Fairly well, don't you?

[theme music]

[music continues]