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1
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,182
Greetings,
Fellow students.
2
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,088
[students cheering
And hooting]
3
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:32,233
[eddie]
Stand back, everybody.
I'm going first.
4
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,202
Hold your breath, steve.
5
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,736
You're going down.
6
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,171
Dream on, eddo.
7
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:40,174
You couldn't
Hit wisconsin.
8
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,413
Oh, puh-lease.
9
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,216
I've seen better arms
On a chair.
10
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,119
Yo, everybody,
How about a little help?
11
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,720
Alright!
Yeah! Yeah!
12
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,522
Hey! Hey! No fair!
13
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,157
Laura, do something!
14
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,292
Okay, steve.
15
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,395
On 3, everybody.
16
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,333
1...
17
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,501
2...3!
18
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,279
Ha ha ha ha.
19
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,616
Look, it's the dodger
Pitching staff.
20
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,253
Ha ha ha ha.
21
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,854
Stand back,
Everybody.
22
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,256
Wuh-oh!
23
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,178
What a woman!
24
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,894
* it's a rare condition *
25
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,329
* in this day and age *
26
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:11,699
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
27
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:15,269
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
28
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:19,540
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
29
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,976
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
30
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:26,914
* inside these gentle walls *
31
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,584
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
32
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:34,555
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
33
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:38,659
* as days go by *
34
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:43,163
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
35
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:00,848
Hey, max.
36
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,516
Hey, ted.
37
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,518
Hello, laura.
Hello.
38
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,322
Can I read you a poem?
39
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:11,325
No, but you can read
My lips--get lost.
40
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,997
Laura,
Don't you think
41
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,632
You were a little
Rough on ted?
42
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,935
Maxine, he let
His friends think
We slept together.
43
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,136
He's a liar.
44
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,638
That was two months ago.
45
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,508
He apologized in front
Of the whole school.
46
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:32,280
I think he's a nice guy who made
A mistake and is truly sorry.
47
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,915
Well, maybe, but I'm not
Ready to forgive him yet.
48
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,950
But what if another
Girl would ask him
49
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,388
To the sadie
Hawkins dance,
Wouldn't you be upset?
50
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,623
No way. It wouldn't
Bother me at all.
51
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,426
I'd help the girl
Pick out her shoes.
52
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,698
Wow! What a great turnout.
53
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:54,034
I bet
The school pulls in
A nice chunk of change.
54
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,470
Carl, do you
Like this dress?
55
00:03:58,439 --> 00:03:59,440
I love that dress.
56
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,275
Yellow is a great
Color for you.
57
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,376
No, it isn't.
58
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,878
I look like
A school bus.
59
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,481
No, you don't.
60
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:10,551
Yes, I do! All I need
Is a sign on my back--
61
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:13,086
"Stop when lights flash."
62
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,489
Harriette, please.
You look wonderful.
63
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,658
Thank you,
But I don't feel wonderful.
64
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,226
I feel fat.
65
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,195
Listen, let's just
Change the subject.
66
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,263
Good idea.
67
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:24,798
Tomorrow
For my birthday,
68
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,400
No cake or ice cream.
69
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,135
Harriette,
You're not fat.
70
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,570
So stop dwelling
On the subject.
71
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,204
Let's just
Forget about it.
72
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,406
You're right.
73
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,841
Hello, ma'am.
74
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,076
Would you like me
To guess your weight?
75
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,612
Why? Do I look fat?
76
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,014
Is that what you're saying?
77
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,383
Uh, I'm sorry.
78
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:45,285
Her mother was mugged by
A guess-your-weight guy.
79
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:53,594
Let's see.
80
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,364
I see
A recent challenge.
81
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,466
A math test, huh?
82
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,334
Yeah. I had a math
Test yesterday.
83
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,635
How did you know that?
84
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,136
You still
Have trig formulas
85
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,305
Written on your hand.
86
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:06,640
I do not.
87
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,509
I know. I was just kidding.
88
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:09,910
I'm in your class.
89
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,212
Oh, that's right.
You're jane bowman.
90
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,783
Close, close,
I'm melissa robbins.
91
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:16,984
Uh, I'm sorry.
92
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,420
That's okay.
Jane and I are a lot alike.
93
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,689
We both have...Hair.
94
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,658
Well, it's nice
To meet you, melissa.
95
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,027
I'm, uh...
Eddie winslow.
96
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,295
I know your sister laura.
97
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,864
She told me
All about you.
98
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:31,999
Uh-oh.
99
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,033
Yo, what'd she say?
100
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,568
Good things, good things.
101
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,570
You're a terrific
Big brother.
102
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,039
You're an all-city
Basketball player.
103
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,340
True, true.
104
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:41,809
And you
Won't go to sleep
105
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,378
Without your scooby-doo
Night-light.
106
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,583
Keep it moving,
Mr. Lead pants.
107
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:56,524
Don't tucker your pucker.
It's me she wants.
108
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,493
Hi, laura.
109
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,328
You're lucky this
Is for charity, ted.
110
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,564
Look, laura, I know
You're still mad at me.
111
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,865
And I don't blame you,
112
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,968
But, girl, I'm
Miserable without you.
113
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,102
Look at this.
114
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,239
If it isn't my
Favorite soap opera--
115
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,642
The young
And the useless.
116
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,779
You're really
Miserable
Without me?
117
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,047
I swear, laura.
118
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:23,150
I can't sleep, I can't eat.
119
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,652
Please forgive me.
120
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,661
Yoo hoody yoo!
121
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,631
Hey, you. Hey, that's
More than a buck's worth.
122
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:38,899
Listen,
Hey, hey, hey!
123
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,435
Vacuum face,
I said that's enough!
124
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:48,341
Look, ted, maybe you
And I could start over.
125
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,910
Yeah, that'd be great.
126
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,746
Would you like to go
To the dance with me?
127
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:53,313
Yes.
128
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,748
I mean, no.
129
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:59,386
Uh, laura, maxine asked me,
And I said yes.
130
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:00,621
Me and
My big mouth.
131
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,289
I told max
I didn't care
132
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,157
If you went
With someone else.
133
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:06,059
We'll go out
Next weekend.
134
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,427
Sure.
135
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,897
Yeah, well...
136
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,099
Walk on, pretty boy.
137
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,004
Now that
The boys are gone,
138
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:21,509
It's time to, uh,
Lock lips with a man.
139
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,159
Shift change.
140
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,764
Shift change?
141
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,804
So, melissa,
142
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,041
Do you see anything
In here about a dance?
143
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:57,244
Hmm.
Uh, yes, I do.
144
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,514
Oh, you are
Having a great time.
145
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,616
Can you see who I'm with?
146
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,518
Well, um...
147
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,921
She's
Very mysterious,
148
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,990
But she was afraid
To ask you
149
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:13,126
Because
She wasn't sure
If you'd accept.
150
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,428
Well, uh...
151
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,898
I hope she's
The adventurous type.
152
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,670
Will you go to
The dance with me?
153
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,807
It says here I'll
Pick you up at 8:00.
154
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,146
Hey, guys. Guess what?
155
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:35,583
I got my date for
The sadie hawkins dance.
156
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,284
Cool.
Who's the lucky babe?
157
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,653
Melissa robbins.
158
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,622
That's
A good one, man.
159
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,391
Melissa robbins?
160
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,760
Now, come on. Who you
Really going with?
161
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,597
I just told you.
Melissa robbins.
162
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,599
Oh.
Oh.
163
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:53,901
What?
164
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:56,904
Let me see, how can I
Put this delicately?
165
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,538
She's a dog.
166
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,240
She is not.
167
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,643
Please, she wouldn't
Be allowed in a restaurant
168
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,778
Unless she was leading
A blind guy.
169
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,381
Listen, guys, melissa's
Really a nice girl.
170
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,818
She's a schnauzer
In a skirt.
171
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,087
Bounce that bowwow
And find somebody fly.
172
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,600
Hi, eddie.
173
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,736
What's the matter?
174
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,470
I-I'm embarrassed.
175
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,873
Uh...You see, I--I can't
176
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,242
Go with you to the...
To the dance.
177
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,544
Oh. Well, how come?
178
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,412
Uh, well, I forgot
That next saturday
179
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,815
I'm taking my dog
To be neutered.
180
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,118
Can't you change
The appointment?
181
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,988
No, he's really
Looking forward to it.
182
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,023
Uh...
183
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:50,891
Uh...
184
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,293
Uh, I'm sorry, melissa.
185
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,063
Bye.
186
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,210
Close your eyes,
Birthday girl.
187
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,981
Are they closed?
Yes, they are, carl.
188
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,689
Hurry, carl, hurry,
Hurry, hurry.
189
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,497
Okay. Open 'em.
190
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,399
Ta-da!
191
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,538
You bought me
An exercise trampoline?
192
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,640
Yes.
193
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:44,211
This baby will take off
The pounds in no time.
194
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,413
Don't you love it?
195
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:55,388
For my birthday
You bought me
An exercise trampoline?
196
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,423
Yes.
197
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,525
And that's not all.
198
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,894
Da da-da-da da-da-dah!
199
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,197
"Lose weight, feel great
200
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:08,201
At chicago's premier
Health spa, hip whippers."
201
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:14,507
And that is a full year
Membership, babe.
202
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,409
You may kiss me, now.
203
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:22,149
Why don't I just skip the kiss
And kick you in your pants?
204
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:23,817
Ha?
205
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,186
You think I'm fat.
No, no.
206
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,955
Harriette, you said
You were fat.
207
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,589
You've been sayin it for weeks.
208
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,024
And you agree with me.
209
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,525
No, no.
210
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,561
Harriette,
It's the thought
That counts.
211
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,163
And you think I'm fat.
212
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,165
No, no.
213
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,232
Carl winslow,
214
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,869
This is the most
Insensitive, unromantic gift
215
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,336
I have
Ever received.
216
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:43,837
But--
217
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,305
Hey. But--
218
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,944
Well, thank god
I didn't give her
The thighmaster.
219
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:57,617
Eddie. Eddie.
220
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:58,651
Look what we got.
221
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,754
Yeah. Check it out.
222
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,890
Wow! Kris kross posters.
223
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,692
Look.
They autographed it.
224
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,060
How'd you guys
Get those?
225
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:10,898
We went to their hotel,
The ritz-cracker.
226
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,633
The ritz-carlton.
227
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,269
We hung with them,
Had burgers with them,
And look--
228
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,840
Kris wiped his mouth
With this napkin. Aah!
229
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,509
That's unbelievable.
230
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,511
They are
The sweetest boys,
231
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:28,949
Well-mannered
And oh, so talented.
232
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,818
Wait a minute, grandma.
233
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,685
You actually
Know kris kross?
234
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,888
Of course.
235
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:38,458
They pulled me up onstage
At their last concert.
236
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,595
That is amazing.
237
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,264
The greatest things
Happen to you.
238
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,300
Things don't happen
To me, honey.
239
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,803
I make them happen.
240
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:56,977
Hey, laura.
241
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,012
Hello, slimeball.
242
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,280
Why aren't
You out walking
243
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:03,416
Our nonexistent,
Soon-to-be-neutered dog?
244
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,086
Been talking
To melissa, huh?
245
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:09,456
Yeah. She really liked you,
Eddie. Why did you dump her?
246
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:12,960
Well, butt out, laura.
I mean, it's a guy thing.
247
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:16,964
Uh-oh. Here comes
Something stupid
And shallow.
248
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,633
It is not
Stupid and shallow.
249
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,269
I can't take
Melissa to the dance
250
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,304
Because she's
Not pretty enough.
251
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,207
That's neither
Stupid nor shallow.
252
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,212
You must have been
Switched at birth.
253
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,581
Come on, laura,
It's like the guys said.
254
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,950
I got to
Protect my image.
255
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,019
Ah, the guys.
256
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,521
Would this be
The esteemed waldo
257
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:44,424
And the revered weasel?
258
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,159
Yeah.
259
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,761
Well, I hope you're happy.
260
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,230
You hurt
A really nice girl
261
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,065
Just because you
Didn't have the guts
262
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,234
To stand up
To your friends.
263
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,325
Harriette.
264
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,193
We need to talk.
265
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,129
Okay.
266
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,933
Look...
267
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,969
I want you to know
That I finally realized
268
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,904
How stupid I was.
269
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,372
I did a very
Insensitive thing,
270
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,542
And I promise you it
Will never happen again.
271
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,544
Just one question, hon.
272
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,511
What?
273
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,948
What'd I do?
274
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:45,785
Carl, I was
Feeling real insecure
About my weight.
275
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,420
And then when you
Bought that trampoline,
276
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,622
I thought you thought
What I thought.
277
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,025
Harriette, I couldn't
Possibly think what you think
278
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:55,195
Because I never have a clue
What you're thinking.
279
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,331
Well...
280
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,867
I can't expect for you
To read my mind.
281
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,402
I'm sorry, carl.
282
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,837
It's just that I've
Picked up a few pounds,
283
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,839
And I'm mad
At the world.
284
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,441
Well, I'm
Sorry, too, babe.
285
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,310
I mean, you may
Not believe this,
286
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,645
But there are times
When I actually feel...
287
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,482
Portly.
288
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:17,750
Oh?
289
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,586
Yeah, but I don't
Worry about it.
290
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:23,923
See, because I know
That you think that I
Am incredibly handsome.
291
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,263
Yo, harriette. Jump
In here any time, babe.
292
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,365
You see, carl?
293
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,434
For a second there
When I didn't answer,
294
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,936
Didn't you feel
A little bit insecure?
295
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,705
Well, yeah,
I guess I did.
296
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,140
Well, see? That's my point.
297
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:44,244
The bottom line is
If I feel fat, I'm fat.
298
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,279
Well, the bottom
Line for me
299
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,381
Is that
No matter how you feel,
300
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,951
You'll always
Be beautiful to me.
301
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,424
Here, sweetheart.
What's this?
302
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,960
It's the present
I should have bought
You in the first place.
303
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:04,064
The present
That expresses
How I truly feel,
304
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,366
That you...
305
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,469
Are the most wonderful,
306
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:13,973
The most beautiful
Person in my life.
307
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,576
Oh, carl.
308
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,346
Carl, it's lovely.
309
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,881
Not as lovely
As you, dear.
310
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,283
Happy birthday.
311
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,717
Oh, carl.
312
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,463
[music playing]
313
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:55,482
Hi, waldo.
314
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,649
What's up?
315
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,219
Hey, sweet thing.
316
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,289
Lookin' good, ba-bee.
317
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,394
Weasel, go take a nap
On the railroad tracks.
318
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,563
Oh, I like 'em
Sassy, too.
319
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,133
You got a choice--
320
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,836
You can walk away
Or be carried away.
321
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,605
Later, baby.
322
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,645
What's maxine
Doing with ted?
323
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,979
I thought
You liked him.
324
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,549
I do, but things
Got all mixed up.
325
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,360
Well, check it out.
What's melissa doing with urkel?
326
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:43,330
Tonight's just
One big crazy mix-up.
327
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,233
You're telling me.
I'm here for gym class.
328
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,736
Then why aren't you
Wearing your gym clothes?
329
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,738
I have a note from my doctor.
330
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,843
You look great, ted.
331
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,246
She does, doesn't she?
332
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,915
No, I said you
Look great, ted.
333
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:06,153
Oh, thanks. Is she
Wearing a new dress?
334
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,588
I wouldn't know.
335
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,022
Oh, I'm sorry, max.
336
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,524
You look fabulous.
You look great.
337
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,026
All the guys
Are staring at you.
338
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,263
And you're
Staring at laura.
339
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,566
Come on.
340
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:27,307
Listen, you wanted to go
With ted to the dance.
341
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,109
And ted wanted to go
With you to the dance.
342
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:33,580
So why don't you both
Just...Dance?
343
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,551
Thanks, max,
You're the best.
344
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,119
I know.
345
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,603
Thanks for coming
To the dance
With me, steve.
346
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:59,339
Oh, pish-tosh,
We're friends, mel.
347
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,940
Besides, it's
Comforting to know
348
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,209
That you respect
My feelings
349
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,976
For the lovely
Laura winslow.
350
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,945
Yes, I do, steve.
351
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,114
So when I take
You home tonight,
352
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,982
I'd appreciate it
If you didn't try
353
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:13,052
To take advantage
Of me physically.
354
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,688
I'll try
To control myself.
355
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,064
Hey, guys.
356
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:26,566
Eduardo.
357
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,034
What's up?
358
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,636
Yo, winslow,
You're just in time.
359
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,305
Look what
The nerd dragged in.
360
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,777
Cute couple, huh?
361
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,179
A boy and his dog.
362
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,249
You got a lot of nerve
363
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,817
You played-out,
Cold-hearted, bowlegged,
364
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,920
Banana-brained,
Gum-slapping,
Trash-talking pig.
365
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,422
You talking to me?
Yes!
366
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,358
Just checking, go ahead.
367
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,125
Weasel,
You are the last person
368
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,027
That should be giving me
Advice about girls.
369
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,898
'cause, buddy,
Check this out, you're alone.
370
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,334
Just temporarily.
371
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:05,037
Listen, melissa may
Not be a cover girl,
372
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,239
But you know what?
373
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,341
I find her
Very attractive.
374
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,110
Let me tell you
Something, weasel.
375
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:14,581
If all you
Look for is the float
With miss america on it,
376
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,517
The whole parade
Is going to pass you by.
377
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:20,920
What was that for?
378
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,922
I'm missing
The parade.
379
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,693
Surprisingly,
380
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,429
That kind of fungus
Won't grow on bacon.
381
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,265
E-e-excuse me,
Steve, uh,
382
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,100
Can I talk
To melissa a second?
383
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,835
Oh, certainly, eddo.
384
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:40,006
I'll be right back,
Tres quick
Avec punch.
385
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,110
Ahem.
386
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:48,581
Um, melissa, I lied.
387
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,384
I don't have a dog, and...
388
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:55,087
The truth is
I backed out of our date.
389
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,423
I figured that.
390
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:57,857
Look, eddie,
I know I'm not
391
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,892
The type of girl
You usually date--
392
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,193
You're right.
393
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,430
You're not.
394
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:06,699
You're funny,
You're smart,
395
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,001
And I really
Enjoy being with you.
396
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,773
I'm really sorry,
Melissa.
397
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,910
Do you want to dance?
398
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,046
I'd love to.
399
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:09,796
Well, max, it looks like
It's just you and me.
400
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:11,564
Care to cop a swirl?
401
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:12,999
Sure.
402
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,485
Steve, is it alright
403
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,754
If I pretend
That you're ted?
404
00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:35,755
Why not?
405
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:38,024
I'm pretending
That you're laura.
27241
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