All language subtitles for 63.Up.Part.2.1080p.HDTV.H264-CBFM_Track03

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

MICHAEL APTED: In 1964,

Granada Television brought together
a group of seven-year-olds.

When I grow up,
I want to be an astronaut.

We have followed their lives
every seven years.

I don't want to keep still.
It's life, you know.
Don't wait for nobody.

They've talked about their dreams...

If I could have two girls
and two boys.

..their ambitions...
I'd quite like to go into politics.

..and their fears for the future.

Life is what happens while
you're waiting for something else.

I don't think life is there
to be regretted.

You've got to make the most of it
while you've got it.

That's how you become
the person you are.

MAN: It's a picture of how
any person, how they change.

ARCHIVE ANNOUNCER: Give me a child
until he is seven,

and I will give you the man.

TEACHER: Well then, let's have
the present tense of 'Vasto'.

Vasto, vastas, vas...vastat,
vastamus, vastatis, vastant.

Yes, speak up.

(BOY SHOUTS INDISTINCT
MARCHING ORDERS)

When he was seven,
Bruce was at boarding school.

(BOY SHOUTS INDISTINCT
MARCHING ORDERS)

My heart's desire is
to see my daddy,

who's 6,000 miles away.

His parents divorced.

At the age of 11,

Bruce moved to St Paul's School
in London as a boarder.

You know, I've been getting on well
with my stepfather,

and I like to see my father
occasionally,

and he does come over
from Rhodesia.

At St Paul's,
I like the companionship,

you know, with other boys.

At 21, he was at Oxford University,
studying maths.

Well, there was one job
which I quite...

I'd quite like to make maps, really,

but there are very few jobs
like that going.

Chris Owinabe?
Yes, sir!

After Oxford,
he worked in the city for a year...

BOY: Yes, sir!

..then decided to teach.

He taught in a state school.

So, if you think
you crossed your 25...

It's so different
from your own education

where you're teaching now.

General education is better
for society, I think.

Public schools are divisive.

I think there is a class society,

and I think public schools
may help its continuance.

At 35, Bruce took a sabbatical
and taught in Bangladesh.

OK, because you've got
to get the next squared, OK?

I see education as a key
to it all, you know.

I mean, I think once
your population becomes educated,

it can think for itself a lot more

and create wealth
and create opportunities.

Good. OK.

The straight line, yes.

At 42, he was back in the East End
as head of the maths department

at a girls' comprehensive school.

(ALL SING CHORALLY)

At 49, we found him teaching
at St Albans,

an independent school.

BOY: ..by three.
You don't multiply by three.

Sorry, divide.
Divide by three. OK.

Tell me, then, what's exciting
about teaching here for you?

There is a higher
academic level to teach,

and then you can see pupils
at a more developed level.

That flash of recognition,

and then engendering
their love of the subject

that I had at their age.

Do your old friends give you
a hard time about what you've done?

They certainly do.
They absolutely do.

They say, oh, you know,
"Have you joined the Tory Party,

"the golf club, the Masons?"
You know.

Well, my girlfriend...

..is in Africa, and I won't...

..I don't think I'll have
another chance of seeing her again.

Have you got any girlfriend?

No. No, not yet.
I'm sure it will come.

Yes, I haven't got married,
or whatever,

and I suppose, you know,

that would've been something
which I hoped had happened.

Well, you're getting on a bit.
Are you getting worried?

Well, not particularly.
I mean, I'm always optimistic.

I mean, who knows who
I might meet tomorrow?

And in the middle of a conversation

about something
completely different,

he just asked if, um...
if I'd like to marry him.

And if I hadn't been
listening carefully,
I would've missed it completely.

MINISTER: To love and to cherish..
To love and to cherish...

..till death us do part.
..till death us do part.

We don't argue very much.
Not really.

I mean, we haven't really had
a sort of full-blown row, you know.

Our arguments sort of tend
to be two sentences

and I go off and sulk for 24 hours.

So, is Bruce getting any better
at expressing his feelings to you?

Um... Erm...

Hmm...

Not...
Not really, by the sound of that.
(LAUGHS)

I always say I would
never divorce him

but I may well murder him
at some point.

(CHUCKLES) Meaning what?

I mean, I have some
infuriating habits, which...

When he's travelling.
Yeah.

And he gets into arguments
with vending machines.

How has being married
to Penny changed you?

I haven't been lonely.
I've appreciated companionship.

I mean, is there a balance of power,

or do you have to run
with imbalance or what?

Well, it's...
I wouldn't go against Penny.

Life would not be... (LAUGHS)
..easy after that.

But, you know, generally speaking,

we're in agreement
about most things.

We may have children.

If in seven years' time or so

we're living in a slightly
bigger house with a young family,

that would be nice.

Come on then, Henry. Get on.

Bruce and Penny had two sons -
Henry and George.

Oh, pull up,
because I'll take the lead if...
She's worse than ever, Father.

Are you ambitious for them?

Yeah, I mean,
some people work ferociously hard,

and while that's rewarding
and they enjoy that

and they enjoy the success,
and so on,

you just hope they get
a nice balance to their lives.

We've always had a family holiday,

and this might be one of the last
because the boys are getting older,

19 and 17, and they might want
to go off by themselves.

If in the future, were we to offer
the boys basically a free holiday

in somewhere exciting like New York,
they wouldn't turn it down.

Oh, so we can't get away on our own?

I don't think we're ever going
to get away on our own, no.
Oh, God.

Henry! The bagels! Do you mind
getting them out the oven?

Most of my work life is over now,
but I am doing a little bit of work.

I'm teaching a bit
in Penny's school now.

But I still have plenty to do,

looking after older relatives
or treasurer for the Quakers.

Has the issue of money been important
in the household?

Well, that's partly why
I'm still working a bit,

because we have
to help the boys through university.

Each month we pay in
a certain amount into the common

sort of bank amount, and
she contributes more than I do now.

I mean, I'm quite happy
to be kept by Penny in any style

to which I happen to be,
you know, accustomed to.

OK, I just looked up on Twitter,

George, "Making scrambled eggs",
and...

And so she's still
a successful professional?
Yes.

I mean, she's actually got
quite an important job.

She's head of sixth form.

She's in charge of all
the A-Level courses,

all the UCAS
university applications.

Are you completely in sync
about bringing up the boys?

We are generally, yes.

We want to give them
a good moral basis,

a good education.

It's slightly irritating
that neither have got any idea

of what they want to do yet,
but that's...

What do you put that down to?
Is that the times they're living in?

Possibly, because in our age,
you tended to have one career.

Are they both deeply involved
in the internet?

Well, they're both on social media
and text and WhatsApp

and all that kind of thing.

There are various things that
I can do that they can't do.

They can't change a plug
or change a light bulb,

but I can't get on Netflix,
so I have to ask them to help me.

MAN: Yep! Chase it up!

So is he playing as much,
Bruce, as he used to?

No, no.

And when he does, he usually manages
to pull a muscle, so...

MAN: Hey, welcome to Katz's Deli.
How you guys doing?

You guys want waiter service
or you want to do self-service?

I'm trying to get my weight down,
which is pathetic,

but I should really adjust
my diet as well.

There's more of a chance
of getting diabetes,

so I'm trying to ward that off.

But I go to the gym, I play golf.

Occasionally I play cricket,

but that's more and more awkward
these days.

Is Penny on your case about this?

I mean, I suppose if I asked her
to kind of be stricter

on what I was allowed to eat,
that would help.

It's less easy to do when the boys
are at home

because I can't stand leftovers,

so I will always
finish their plates,

OK, now, if they're not there,
I won't have their plates to finish,
so...

Do you have any fears
for the future?

I think disabling, degenerative
conditions linked with old age,

that fills me with dread.

I've said to Penny,

"I'm going first,
and quickly," you know.

I think discipline is fair enough.

And that's Farmer.
He gives me nightmares.

I suppose I was too young, really,
to understand it,

and I thought
it was a bit severe at the time,

but then I just got used to it.

In that school and the two schools
I went after that,

I was beaten many times,
and that's just what happened.

And sometimes you didn't know
why you were being beaten,

but nevertheless, it just...
that's what happened.

Oh, you're a queen-pawn man.

Uh, sometimes.

I think we've talked
about this before,

about expressing your feelings.

Is that still an issue?
I think it is.

Whether it was boarding school life
or wherever it's happened to be,

you tend to try and fit in
and not express yourself so much,

because that can be disruptive.

And I think, to a certain extent,

I've had a sort of restricted,
if you like, emotional state,

which I've learnt to live with.

At 63, we took him back
to the school in the East End

where he started his teaching career.

Looking back, I derived most
satisfaction from teaching here.

You had to be on your toes.

I mean, it was quite edgy.

But if the students felt
you were committed to them

and their progress, they joined
in with you and worked well.

I think it opened up
my viewpoint to, you know,

what Britain is now.

Living in a council flat over there,
coming here,

was a side of Britain
I'd never really been in.

Six times three is 18,
shared by two is nine...

I was hoping
that the students would go on

and have successful lives,
and fulfilled lives,

and realise their potential.

What I didn't want them to do

is thinking,
"Because of our background,

"this is what we're limited to do,"

that anything was possible.

Have you experienced failure
in any part of your life?

I've not had a sort of stunningly
successful education career.

I've not, say, become
a deputy head or head teacher,

but I never particularly wanted to,

because you tend
to move out of the classroom.

TEACHER: Fill out the gaps
on the board there.

I think we should give most of
our money to the poor people.

I'd help people, if I had a chance.

Basically, we don't care that
many countries are incredibly poor.

We simply don't care. I mean...

At 35, you seemed to have
really strong ideals.

They were very powerful
and powerfully expressed,

and then suddenly
there's been a switch.

Well, partly I think
it's having a family,

because when you get a family,
your priorities change,

and you start looking after
your family more

than looking further afield.

Do you look back at life
and is it a good feeling?

Lots to look on with fondness
and pleasure and good memories.

A happy marriage and two fine boys
that we're proud of,

and a body of work that
I had my successes with.

Some failures,
but still plenty to do.

It's not all over yet.

Well, I know he loves her
and he loves her.

I don't. I love him.

I'd like to be able
to have a happy family.

I mean, I know it's not possible
to be happy all the time,

but as much of the time
that it was possible.

By the time she was 21,

Jackie had married Mick and moved
to the outskirts of London.

You're joking.

She and Mick had decided early on

that they didn't want
to have children.

I sometimes feel like
wringing his neck...

Well, basically, I would say
because I'm far too selfish.

I enjoy doing what I want
when I want and how I want.

And, uh, certainly at the moment,
I-I can't see any way around that.

By 35, she was divorced.

We decided between the two of us,
we knew it wasn't going any further.

We both knew, I think,
that at the end of the day,

we would be happier
leading our own lives.

And this one on?

Oh, yeah!

Had a brief
but very sweet relationship,

the result of which was Charlie.

Oi, kiss and cuddle.

I don't really want Charlie
to be an only.

I'd love him to have
brothers and sisters.

Right, Charlie,
please eat it all up.

And James.
Thanks, Mum.

Good boy.

And last but not least...

Going to eat that one for me?

After her relationship
with Charlie's father ended,

she met Ian and they moved
to Scotland and had two sons.

By 42, they had split up.

Has Charlie shown any interest
as to his father?
No.

Ian's his father,
as far as he's concerned.

He's done everything with him,
been everything to him,

taught him everything.

Go on, Lee. Go and get them.

At 49, despite the split,

the family were living
in the same area of Scotland.

They are still there.

And how are the boys doing?

Really well.

They're all working away,
which is nice,

especially in this day and age.

Charlie's still doing his cheffing.
He seems to be happy where he is.

CHARLIE: There you go, Chef.

James is in a warehouse.

Lee is still in the army.
He's a medic, basically.

Aw!

Still got two of the boys
living at home, which I love,

but they should really
have moved on by now.

It was really nice to see ya.

This is my birthday celebration,

and I've invited family and friends,

and obviously my beautiful
grandchildren at the end.

That's Mia, that's Tyler.

My mum, 'cause she got five girls...
She had seven years' bad luck.

That's why she's got five girls!

I was 30 years old
when I lost my mum,

and my dad was my rock.

Oh, nice!

But as he got older,
dementia set in.

He went in for an operation,
and he had the operation done.

My oldest sister Jan went in.

She rang me and said,
"He won't talk to me."

And I said to him,
"Dad, what are you doing?

"What's going on?
What are you doing?"

And he said,
"I'm slowly killing myself."

And that...was...

That was really awful.

After running around
with the kids all day...

He stopped all his medication.

He knew he was dying,
and he wanted to get it over with.

He really wanted to be wherever
my mum and my stepmum and that are.

So, I imagine they had a big party
when he got there.
(CHUCKLES)

My mum and my stepmum might've had
a disagreement about it,

but, you know...

Unfortunately,
on the 18th of November,

Ian, the boys' dad,

was severely injured in
a road traffic accident.

He, erm, subsequently died
of those injuries.

(EXHALES)

That was a...

..monumental...

..mess.

He was at a zebra crossing.

The light to the traffic was red,
the light on the crossing was green.

He walked out
and she took him off his feet.

Every bone in his body was broken.

The boys were devastated.

Charlie was absolutely terrible.
He had to have counselling.

In all, it was nearly 4.5 years
before we got any justice,

and we got a guilty verdict.

She had run him over,
and it wasn't anything his fault.

Not half bad. Good.
Not half bad.

And did you get any compensation
out of it at the end of the day?

No. No. Not at all.

The boys got...

I think they got about £3,000 each.
That was it.

That was it.
(SARCASTICALLY) Great, eh?
(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah. Yeah.

That's all their
dad's life was worth.
Mm.

As much as Ian and I
didn't live with each other,

it didn't mean that
we didn't love each other.

I couldn't live with him,

but I don't think
I've ever stopped loving him.

If you think that getting married,
as far as we're concerned,

is a case of going to work,
come home, cook tea for hubby,

going to bed, come...getting up,
going to work,

you're totally mistaken.

When we were younger,
I kept thinking,

"Why is he asking me questions
about marriage and men,

"and why is he not asking me
questions about how the country is?"

Do you think you've
settled down too young?
Nah.

I've married,
and we do things together, or...

But I felt that you treated us,
as women, totally different,

and I didn't like it.

Now, I appreciate that
when we started at seven,

most women were in the kitchen
or were bringing up children.

There weren't many career women.

But by the time we hit 21,

I really thought you'd have had
a better idea of...

(LAUGHS) ..how the world works,
shall I say?

Did you meet enough men
before you decided who to marry?

I've been a married a year and...

But you still asked us the most
mundane, domestic questions,

and I really wanted to go, "Argh!"

(CHUCKLES)
So, by 49, I actually thought,
"You know what? No more.

"I'm not having this anymore.

"And that's why
I got very vocal with you.

What happened at 21?

You asked me if I'd had
enough experience with men

before I got married,

and I thought that was actually
an insulting question,

and I got very angry,

and we actually stopped filming
because of it.

I mean, I don't know!
I don't know what...

I was really angry that
you even thought you could get...

You wouldn't have asked
some of the other people

in this programme that question.

And I just didn't feel
that you had any idea

of the changing role of women
in the UK at that point.

I've had the opportunities
in life that I've wanted.

I'd say I've had more opportunities.
That you've made.
Yeah, right, you've made.

As you get older, you realise
just how lucky you've been,

and I do think I've been lucky.

Walked out of school straight
into any job I wanted.

Could you have done more education?

Oh, yeah. And I should've done.

All I wanted to do was go out
and earn money,

and that was short-sightedness
that did that.

That wasn't...

It wasn't that I particularly wanted
to go to university,

but I probably should've done
further education.

So, where are we?

Once you get up this one,
it's not so bad.

We're in Norfolk.
This is my sister's home.

Both our families are grown,

so we get to spend a lot more time
together, which is brilliant.

James, you watch.
You're catching up to him.

I was working up here
until very recently,

but they've discovered that
I've got rheumatoid arthritis,

so at the moment
that's put work on hold.

Alright?
Yep. Yep. Oh... Ooh.

Rheumatoid arthritis can flare up

and then it can ease down,
it can flare up.

And it's so frustrating.

You just have to live with it,
Michael. You can't...

You can't let it
rule your life.

Jackie has been getting
disability benefits

for over 20 years.

For nearly a decade, the government
has been reassessing all benefits.

I can understand that
the government needed to make cuts.

They have people there who they knew
would never get better,

and they still put down
"fit to work".

I waited nine months
for my appeal to come through.

I had to live on £40 a week.

I was lucky. I have family that
could help me with money,

but a lot of people
haven't got that behind them.

People were killing themselves

because they were getting
into so much debt.

I would like to get married
when I grow up.

I've been on my own
for a long while, Michael,

with the kids.

Either men my age
don't want that hassle,

because my kids are still at home,

they can't move out,
they can't afford to, or...

..it was just, you know, sort of
a quickie round the bike shed...

(LAUGHS)
..and I wasn't really
wanting that either, so... (LAUGHS)

I actually rang my sister one day,
and I said,

"Listen, if I need a plus-one,
will you come?"

And she said, "Of course I will."

So, everything now
that I get invited to,

if Ray can make it, she's there.

We've decided we'd come up here
for a meal for Christmas.

And we go on holidays.

And considering when we were young
and living at home,

we could've hit each other
as soon as said "good morning".

But the minute
she got married and moved out,

I was there every weekend.

(LAUGHS) Yeah!

We all have ups and downs, and...

..but my downs always coincided
with me ringing Ray,

and Ray then talks to me
and helps me get through it

and sort out a way
to get through things.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

I mean, what's your feeling about

having been in the programme
and survived it?

I've done more than survived it.
I've loved it.
Well, we're all still alive.

You know I've loved it.
Well, good.
I have!

People always, you know...

"Oh, my God, you had a right go
at him. What was that all about?"

And I'm like, "I told him off."
(LAUGHS)

"I didn't kill him."

GIRL: Jacklyn, what do you think
about boys fighting?

Well, they're...it's really silly...

When you look at Seven Up!
do you think, "That's me"?

Actually, I think there's a core
of it that rings true,

because I've never really changed,
Michael.

I mean, you've got to be honest.

I was always talkative
and a bit of a pain in the butt.

# If I say that I love you

# And you know it's true... #

I think your character,
perhaps, is set by seven,

but I don't think you can predict
what that child is going to be,

because I think at seven,
your whole world is open.

Here, look.
You can go on the little horses.

(CHATTER)

Mia now goes, "Do I have
to do homework at high school?"

And I go, "Yes.
And then you have to do it at uni."

"What's uni?"
"University, 'cause you're going."

And she looks at me
and she goes, "Am I?"

I said, "Yeah, you are,"

"because then
the world's your oyster."

I don't want her to have
tunnel vision,

which I think I had
when I was younger.

Oh, dear.
I'm beginning to feel a bit chilly.
Really?

Don't know about anybody else.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Children need to know that
they are capable of doing anything.

If you open the child's mind
to the possibilities, it's...

Oh, it's probably
the best thing you can do.

if you want to be an astronaut.

Watch this.

Peter and Neil were childhood
friends growing up in Liverpool.

Peter went to a comprehensive school,

and went on to get a history degree
from London University.

I would like to think that
democracy's here to stay,

or perhaps we haven't
got full democracy.

In fact, we probably haven't.
But it's a pretty good system.

I don't want to get dragged
into party politics, you know,

but basically this is
the most incompetent,

uncaring bloody shower
we've ever had.

After 28 Up, Peter decided
not to continue in the film.

I pulled out because of the...

..responses and the reactions
that my participation drew,

particularly in the tabloid press.

They decided they were going
to portray me as the angry young red

in Thatcher's England.

I think I was articulating
at the time

what a lot of people my age
and my background were thinking,

and I was an easy target.

They're part of it.
They perpetuate it.

Was it painful coming back?
(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) Do you regret coming back?

Yeah, of course I do.

I'm sitting here talking to you now,
and I'm squirming.

(BOTH LAUGH)
I'm squirming. I'm thinking...

Every two minutes or so,

I'm replaying what I just said
to you and thinking,

"Oh, my God, you idiot. Why...

"Why did you say that?'

So, you know, there's that.

So, why did you come back?

'Cause I want to promote the music
and the band I'm in.

# But when he hit that bay... #

I'd always played in rock bands,

some of them
spectacularly bad bands.

The band is essentially being a duo.

It originally was a trio,

and then we lost Frank
three years ago.

So, we're the essentially
the core of it,

and people come in and play with us
and record with us,

and then drift off again.

Once Carolyn Tedford said
she was....she loved me.

What do you think about...?
And I'm going to marry her
when I grow up.

So... Well, what do you want to do?
Do you just want to record?

We were working in
an office together

and when we joined the office band.

And that's how
we got to know each other.
Was it love at first sight?

Well, I had a sneaking suspicion
that Pete liked me,

'cause he was really rude
and sarcastic to me all the time,

so I thought, "Oh, I think
he's probably quite keen."

Ah, no. That's not true.

And how's married life been
over the last seven years?

(LAUGHS) That's a loaded question,
if ever I heard one.

It's absolute bliss.
Totally, yeah.
Yeah.

(ALL LAUGH)

But when you live with someone
for a long time,

things change and you adapt,

but you get to a point

where you don't have to have
preamble conversations.

You don't have to fall out.

It's just not worth...

..spending a long time sulking
with each other, is it?

Um, true.
(LAUGHS)

That's why...
That's why I don't do it anymore.

(ALL LAUGH)

# Always blue, every day... #

Writing's just something
I feel compelled to do.

You've got a lot more relaxed
about playing me new stuff

and not getting really annoyed

if I say,
"That might need a bit of work."

So, you used to be careful
about criticising him?

Yeah.
(LAUGHS)

But you've got better about
accepting criticism as well.

A little.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah.

Yeah, a little.

We met seven years ago.

What's happened to
the two of you up to now?

Three years ago, my mother died.
Frank died the same year.

In the case of my mother, that was
the normal course of events.

She was in her late 80s.
She'd had dementia.

But, of course, you know,

you're never old enough
to lose both your parents,

because then you feel,
"I'm next in the firing line."

(LAUGHS) I have to put my head
above that parapet now.

And do you have any plans
for children?

Not at the moment, no.

I don't suppose I've really
thought about it seriously.

Our son has moved out
into his own home.

He's not very far away.

Our daughter is doing a master's
at Goldsmiths in London,

and she's based at home,

but she's spending a lot
of her time in London.

Most of the stuff
you come out of school with

is absolutely useless.

You just don't need it.

I mean,
do you think your children

will get the opportunities
you've had,

or do you think life is closing in?

Well, I think, just at the moment,

it appears life is maybe
closing in a little.

(LIVELY CHATTER, ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

I do think the future is not maybe
as bright as it would've been

for a kid coming out of university
like me in the late '70s.

They're going to university,

they're ending up working in
call centres, in hospitality.

It's getting hellishly difficult

for them to get onto
the property ladder.

I think maybe they're going to be
the first generation

that don't have it better
than their parents.

Teachers are undervalued
and underrated, and the whole...

The system is beginning to crumble.
You know, people...

I still get very angry
about things.

Probably not so much about
the things going on in the house,

more about things going on
in the wider world.

(CHILD SHOUTS)

When I was seven years old
when all this started,

it was effectively illegal
to be actively gay,

it was illegal to have an abortion,

we were still executing people,

you could put up a sign saying,
"No blacks or Irish,"

and so, clearly, we've become
a more tolerant and more inclusive

and less prejudice society
than we were.

I think it's probably
a more peaceful world than it was.

I would also say that
we have a way to go

on equal treatment of women.

I was a member of the Labour Party
for most of my adult life.

I'm no longer.

Tell me your feelings about Brexit?

Without wishing
to sound patronising,

I don't think a lot of them
knew what they were voting for.

I think they just saw this
as a chance to kick

what they perceived
as an establishment

from which they were excluded.

I mean, obviously,
I've got to get a job.

I don't want to laze around
on the dole for months and months.
You'd go mad.

What is your working life
at the moment?

I still work two days a week
in the day job,

the civil service.

I am currently writing a novel,
midway through the first draft.

The hardest thing has been
to face down

the blank sheet of paper
and to actually start.

What have been, for you,
the best times?

I knew you'd ask me this,

'cause you're going to hope
I repeat what I said

about the 1977 European Cup Final.

Tommy Smith scoring
the second goal in Rome.

Definitely.

One of the all-times.

Which game was that?
"Which game was that"?!

(BOTH LAUGH)

And I'm on a strict warning
not to repeat that.

(LAUGHS)
And...

That was the European Cup Final,
1977.

Catch a boy, kiss a boy.

Sometimes we get our back...

So, do you think
these Up series has any value?

I think it's more difficult for me
and the others to stand back

and be wholly objective about that,

because it's been part of my life
as far back as I can remember.

Last time you did the show,

I wouldn't let you look
on social media,

and I just censored everything

because people can be
really hurtful.

Except the good bits.
(LAUGHS)

Yeah, I let you see the good bits.
She let me see them.

Well, if I can't be an astronaut,

I'd like to be a Bridewell sergeant
in the police force, like my dad is.

One of the concepts behind this is

"Show me a child when he is seven
and I will show you the man."

Do you think that's true?

I think as I've got older,

probably more inclined to think
that there is something to that.

I can look at myself and think,

"Yes, there is something of
that child still in me."

I think on the whole,

you are formed certainly
before you're in your teens.

What do you want out of life?

The satisfaction of knowing that
I've left some sort of imprint,

rather than just lived out my life.

# Some day we'll ride
that silver wave... #

Are there any regrets you have?

I think you have to move on
with your life,

and you learn
from things you've done.

But that's the tapestry
of a lifetime.

The only serious regret
I would ever have

is if I came to the end
of my life and thought,

"I wish I'd tried that,"

and I want to get
to the end of my life

not with that sort of regret.

# Always blue... #

I want to create something that
will live on,

and I want my life to have
meant something in that sense.

# If you said that you need me... #

Lynn grew up in
the East End of London.

TEACHER: We found that
it doesn't scratch the bottom.

Why am I using a wooden spoon,
please, to stir this saucepan?

Well, in a grammar school,
I don't think you'll find many girls

that really want to do metalwork
or woodwork.

We had a teacher at school
that his favourite ploy was,

"All you girls want to do
is walk out, get married,

"have babies and
push a pram down the street

"with a fag hanging out
the side of your mouth."

At 21, she began a career
as a children's librarian,

starting off in a mobile library
in East London.

Have I stamped yours?
CHILD: Yes.
Yes.

I've not stamped yours.

Sleeping Beauty.

Teaching children
the beauty of books

and watching their faces

as books unfold to them
is just fantastic.

To work with children of that age,
you've got to love them,

and I love children.

Because of cuts in
the education budget,

the mobile library was shut down.

At 42, Lynn was working
at Bethnal Green.

You can draw, better than I can.

Good morning!

When we went back at 49,
she was still there.

WOMAN: What about you?
Good morning!

For the last 30 years,
I've banged my head

against a brick wall to maintain
children's services,

but this time round,
no-one's listening.

They say that the work that I do,
that anybody can do it.

There would be
no specialist running it.

(LAUGHS) One.

I may not have a job.

Are you going to speak to me today?

Despite the cuts and constant
changing of jobs

in the library,
has it been worth it?

Yeah, very much.

All these things that
I have said over the years

are flying through my mind
at the moment, um,

but, yes, it has been worth it.

Mm.

And you better cut it,
'cause otherwise I'm going to cry.

At that library review, I got a job.

Two years later, another review,
and cutting departments again.

That time, I didn't get a job.

If I could, I would have
two girls and two boys.

GIRL: Yeah, so would I.

I've been married a year
in a couple of months.

Erm, you do think,
"Christ, what have I done?"

When she was 19, she married Russ.

They had two daughters,
Sarah and Emma.

I'm very much geared
to the family unit.

I mean, us all, we do things
together all the time.

At 42, the girls were both doing
very well at school.

Alright, darling?
Yeah.

Neither of the girls
went to university.
No, no.

Was that disappointing to you?
No. Their choice. We discussed it.

They felt that the academic side
wasn't for them.

Really, really quiet.

When Emma was 19,
she had a son, Conor.

EMMA: Good boy.
Where's your drink?

Nine years later, she had Riley.

How much did he weigh
when he was born?

Two pound and a quarter ounce.

As soon as he was born,

they took him straight through
to the neonatal intensive care unit,

and he's absolutely fine.

And how's old Conor doing?
He's doing great.

How does he deal with Riley?

He loves Riley to bits,
but Riley is just a two-year-old.

..hunting dogs are in this one.

Sarah and Adam have got married
since we last saw you.

They've got a little boy
called Harry. He's getting on fine.

I didn't know
I was getting into this!

(LAUGHTER)
Are you alright?

Yeah, I think so.

This is unbelievable. (LAUGHS)

Look. Look out.

Russ is still such
a great support for me,

and he is still my soul mate...

You take care. I love you!

..after all this time.

(LAUGHS)

We flourish together.

I had an all-white wedding.
All white.

We were both in white
and my bridesmaid was in white.

37 years. Gone extremely quickly.

We've just grown together.

We learnt to be friends
before we had children.

We established a solid foundation
from which to work from.

Watch it, you.
You'll go to bed as well.

When she was 35,
Lynn was having health problems.

They stuck all these tubes
up inside me and discovered that

I'd got these veins up here
that shouldn't be there.

In your brain?
Mm-hm.

And what can they do about it?
Not a lot, at the moment.

Well, it's never going to go away.

I've still got this
vein malformation.

It'll always be there.
Obviously, I had it from birth.

Oh, it's just problems, Neil.

Do you think about dying a lot?
No. Doesn't worry me at all.

I think my dad taught me that.

He wasn't scared of death at all,

and it's the people
that are left behind...

..that take the brunt
of someone dying.

So, how long ago is it
since your mother died?

Five years.
Five, yeah.

Five years.
Mm.

And how long before that did you know

that she was in
serious trouble with health?

We didn't.
We didn't. 48-hours' notice.

Not even that.
Not even that.

Very, very, very sudden.

Come right up to you...

She was minding Riley at the park,

and she accidentally got in the way
of the swing.

It hit her on the arm.

She had quite a lot of bruising.

This caused a poisoning
of her system,

but she self-medicated
and went to bed because of the pain

when she should've been
really hydrating herself.

So, eventually her
kidneys shut down.

We knew none of this was going on.

It went on from there.
It caused a domino effect.

Her organs shut down very rapidly,

and then she tried to go to work
the following day.

She had a part-time job
at the hospital,

so when she more or less collapsed
in the hospital, they admitted her.

Couldn't have chosen a better day.

The hospital kept telling us that,
"She just needs to be rehydrated,

"We'll put her on a drip
for 48 hours."

So, we didn't know that
anything sinister was going on.

And... Was it three hours later?

..we get the call to say
that she'd collapsed,

we needed to back in.

We trusted what we were being told
and we left her, you know.

I kissed her on the forehead
and I said to her,

"We'll be back
first thing in the morning."

We don't know what she went through
in those three hours.

So, yes, it's not our fault.
Of course it's not.

But you do hold a lot of guilt.

They had all the pieces
of the puzzle in front of them...

..but they didn't put it together.

We talk about her every day.

She's there,
she's in our lives still every day,

but I like to focus on the happy,
the positive times.

You know, our kids need us
to carry on, and, you know,

we've got a life still to live,

and Mum wouldn't definitely
have wanted us

to spend it
constantly crying over her.

SARAH: No.

On a daily basis, it is hard,

but I like to think about Mum
and memories.

And it's only when you start to then
speak to other people about it,

that then the emotion
kind of really kicks in.

And I don't think I realised
just how much she was adored by,

like, the wider community
around here.

MAN: In grateful memory of Lynn,

for all that she's done
for the children of Poplar

and Tower Hamlets over 27 years,

we are both pleased and very proud

to dedicate this
new library area to Lynn.

(ALL APPLAUD)

That's what
she dedicated her life to.

35 years of
looking after the children

in such a diverse community.

Every child, she just gave that time
and that commitment to.

LYNN: Right, the story
I've got for you this morning

is called The Magic Bicycle.

She loved it,
and she was brilliant at it.

You know, she just had a way with
them. They'd just open up to her.

(CHILDREN SING)

RUSS: The kids that she worked with,
she'd become a governor

and then chair of governors
at the school.

She just loved kids, basically.

(CHILDREN CONTINUE SINGING)

LYNN: There's things we all do that,

"Oh,
I wish I'd done that different,"

but you take it on board,
and you learn from that experience.

My family have always come first.

So, for you, that's...

I'm happy with
the way my life has gone.

(LAUGHS) Oh!

(APPLAUSE)

Captions by Red Bee Media
(c) SBS Australia 2019