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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,686 Attention! 2 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,790 Be seated. 3 00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:41,060 Now, I'd like to present to you Jackass 2.5. 4 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,265 But before I do, 5 00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:46,830 I would like to introduce you to the fine men 6 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,832 who risked their lives 7 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,410 and livers to make this film possible. 8 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,645 By God, they made it their duty. 9 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:57,713 Soldiers! 10 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:20,104 About face! 11 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:28,707 Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass! 12 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,544 At ease. 13 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:42,357 When we went out to shoot Jackass NUMber Two, 14 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,020 we actually shot 15 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,157 two movies' worth of a movie. 16 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,394 I don't know how we ended up with so much footage. I think... 17 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,198 We didn't really want to stop filming. 18 00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:58,277 It's just funner than normal life. 19 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,609 This is pure black house paint. 20 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,012 -It's not really house paint, it's interior. -lt'll be all right. 21 00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,044 Water-based, of course. 22 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,713 Just paint the fat bastard up, and let's get this over with. 23 00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:14,356 The second thing we shot for Jackass NUMber Two was a bit called 24 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:15,925 Beauty and the Beast. 25 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,964 And it's an idea Preston wrote, where 26 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:23,868 we dress him up as a gorilla, and Wee Man up as the damsel in distress. 27 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:27,970 And we stand theM Up on top of a bUilding, or in oUr case a porta-potty, 28 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:30,338 and fly airplanes at theM and crash theM into theM 29 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,274 and, yoU know, he's the big King Kong. 30 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,104 And after hiding my extreme fear of heights 31 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,410 for six years, I got busted. 32 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,951 What's the technical word for that, fear of heights? 33 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,847 Fatty-fall-down-aphobia? 34 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,216 Oh, shit! 35 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,195 Oh, here it comes. 36 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:53,829 -Come on, Kong. -Oh, my God! 37 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,426 Oh, my God, Kong! 38 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,732 -Bring it back. Bring it back. -Come on, Kong! 39 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,773 It's coming in fast this time, Kong! 40 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,209 Come on! 41 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,867 Holy shit! 42 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:07,579 -Beat its ass! -Oh, my God! 43 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,147 I'm dizzy. I'm dizzy. I'm about to pass out. 44 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,183 Oh, my God! 45 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,552 -Oh, shit! -Oh, crap. 46 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,089 -Oh shit! Hey, Preston! -Preston! Sit down! 47 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,927 -Sit down. -Sit down. 48 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,492 Preston, get down. 49 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,400 Hey, do the sound. 50 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:39,706 Preston, you're doing good, buddy. 51 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:42,144 I thought he was crying at one point. 52 00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,679 How you doing? 53 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,247 Hey, we're getting gold, man. 54 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,148 -Watch out. -He's going to shit himself. 55 00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,082 Hey, Gay Ray can't rescue you. 56 00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,747 Get back up there, Wee Man. 57 00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:55,854 I was Up there having, literally, the worst day of My daMn life. 58 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:59,289 All I could see was all the boys, all my friends down there, 59 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,094 just pointing and laughing at me. 60 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,031 -Grab the prop. -What's happening? 61 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,467 -Ready, go! -He looks like a giant target. 62 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:08,334 It's the kind of shit that you feel like a bad person for. 63 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:10,204 Save your woman! 64 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,276 -Shit! -You all right? 65 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,241 Oh, no, dude, that was not good. 66 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,511 -He's all right. -ls he good? 67 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:23,316 -I can't believe he's all right. -Dude, he missed the mattress. 68 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,090 -Biggest noise. -That wasn't very good. 69 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,050 It didn't end very good. 70 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,824 I don't got anything to say about that. 71 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,095 You all right? 72 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:40,634 It was the hardest day of any day I've had in Jackass, in eight years. 73 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,138 And I honestly didn't think I'd be able to finish the Movie after that. 74 00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:45,403 It was that bad. 75 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,517 -Hello. I'm Preston Lacy. -And I'm Wee Man. 76 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,221 This is Beauty and the Beast! 77 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,881 Save me, big gorilla, save me! 78 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,322 I wonder how yoU explain the difference in... That's insane. 79 00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,396 That's insane. 80 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,762 -Save your woman. -Save your career. 81 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,729 Hey, man, come on! 82 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,768 Save me, big gorilla, save me. 83 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:24,874 Save me, big gorilla, save me. 84 00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:31,147 -That's one brave monkey. -Oh, yeah, it is. 85 00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:00,248 What the fuck? 86 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,587 It just goes to show that when the chips are down 87 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,076 It just goes to show that when the chips are down 88 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:03,780 and life looks like it really sucks... 89 00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,386 Xanax! 90 00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:13,526 I'm Phil Margera, and I'm hungry for some goddamn meatballs. 91 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,466 Do it. 92 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:19,836 Are you all right? 93 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:22,897 Yeah, it got Me like a pUnch. 94 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,636 -YoU going to have a black eye? -I think so. 95 00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:25,711 -Oh My God. -I hope so. 96 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:29,173 -How was those meatballs, Phil? -They were delish. 97 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,347 -Ape, you did a good job. -Thank you. 98 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,156 I wrote this skit, Dizzy Boxing. 99 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,985 And when I wrote it, I wrote that we would be suspended from ropes 100 00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:43,755 that would be twisted around and around and around, 101 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,990 so much that when you let go, it just spins you like crazy, 102 00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:49,295 to where you're just a human blur. And then you'd box. 103 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,597 So you'd be... I mean, crazy dizzy. 104 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:55,329 And then, so, we end up at some hotel room 105 00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:58,608 and office chairs to be spUn aroUnd in. 106 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:01,345 I'm Dave England, with Ehren McGhehey, 107 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:02,414 and this is Dizzy Boxing. 108 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:07,976 Yeah! Spin that bitch. 109 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,621 Oh, shit. 110 00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,227 -Let's get it on! -Kill him. 111 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,602 Break it up. Break it up. Break it up. 112 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,302 Back to your corner. Back to your corner. 113 00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:40,215 I want you to kill him. Not just beat him up. I want you to make him dead. 114 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,150 He's going to go down. I'm gonna kill him. 115 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:46,114 I've been saving it for this round. This is going to be the one. 116 00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:47,192 Round 2. 117 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,167 Let's get it on! 118 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,742 -Fight it out. Let's go. Let's go. -Kill him. 119 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,446 All right, break it up. Break it up. Break it up. 120 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,589 -Look, he's all amped up. -Yeah, he won a round. He's stoked. 121 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,487 He's got the taste for blood. He wants to kill. 122 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,429 Yeah! 123 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,557 Round 3. 124 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,437 -All right, D. Just kick his ass. -Come on, England. 125 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,868 Straight to the DVD. 126 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,136 Straight to the DVD. 127 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,205 Let's get it on! 128 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,715 Yeah! 129 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,485 Yeah! 130 00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:53,086 Yeah, that's right! 131 00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:55,418 -Yeah! -That was a good one. 132 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,299 Stop! He's down, he's down. 133 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,131 I'd never break up a fight like that. 134 00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:07,297 One, two, three, four, five, 135 00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:12,537 six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 136 00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:14,006 We have a winner! 137 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,546 -Yeah! -Yeah! 138 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,113 Winner is Ehren McGhehey! 139 00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:19,946 Dizzy boxing champion! 140 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:21,954 And there's the loser. 141 00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:33,026 -Hello? -Hi, Mom. 142 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,825 -Hi. -I'm at the beach. 143 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,571 That doesn't soUnd... Well norMally, I'd say, 'Yay!" 144 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,106 BUt that doesn't soUnd too good. 145 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,102 I'm going to film a skit. 146 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:47,475 It's called the Butt Bead Ass Kite. 147 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,074 What? 148 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,074 I'm going to fly a kite out of my ass. 149 00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:56,279 YoU need to explain this to Me. How do yoU fly a kite oUt of yoUr bUtt? 150 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,281 You put anal beads up there. 151 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,054 Are yoU kidding Me? 152 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,663 Yeah, don't worry, I'm going to help out. 153 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:11,225 The beads are going to be totally lubed up, April, it's cool. 154 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:12,999 -We're going to spit on them. -Are yoU joking? 155 00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:15,099 "We're going to spit on them"! 156 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:17,667 Ape, what do you think? 157 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,904 How are yoU not going to get arrested doing this? 158 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,239 We have permits. 159 00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:24,511 -Yeah. -Where do yoU get a perMit for that? 160 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,777 Paramount. 161 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,683 We can't get a perMit for soMething stUpid, like an addition, 162 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,255 and yoU're getting a perMit for that? 163 00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:33,916 -So, do you approve of this skit? -No! 164 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:37,553 -Well, I'm doing it anyway. Goodbye. -I knew yoU woUld, bUt I... 165 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:46,067 It's a beautiful day at the beach, and I feel like flying a kite. 166 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,630 Out of my ass! 167 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,469 I just lost a shitload of fans. 168 00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,636 But I gained four in Key West. 169 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:00,812 Oh, man. 170 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,482 Sand in the Vaseline now. 171 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:07,786 There you go. 172 00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,022 Ape is going to hate this one. 173 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,257 Get it in there, buddy! 174 00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:13,831 -I'm trying! -I can't do this. 175 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,666 What's going on back there? 176 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,631 -Fucking freak! -Check this. Chris, check. 177 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,136 -What's the ball count there, dude? -I can't do this. 178 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,638 -What's the ball count, Chris? -All right, I'll tell you the ball count. 179 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,140 Hold on. I'll tell you guys the ball count. 180 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,266 Take the ball count, 181 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,776 -and just agree that it's good. -It's... 182 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,972 -It's three balls. -One more to go! 183 00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:30,170 -Come on. -One more to go. 184 00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:32,682 One more, Bam. One more. 185 00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:36,148 -I don't need any help. -Push it in! 186 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,449 -Time to go! -I got it. 187 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,250 -Okay, it's ready. -This is just like a fucking pirate... 188 00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,725 -It's fucking in! It's all in! -I'm impressed. 189 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,689 I'm impressed, too. I'm impressed. 190 00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,721 Fly the fucking kite! 191 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,693 Fly the kite! Fly the fucking kite! 192 00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,336 Fly the kite! 193 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,234 -You ready? -Fly the kite! 194 00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,034 Here goes the kite! 195 00:12:58,577 --> 00:12:59,908 Pull it out! 196 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,678 Get them out! Get them out! 197 00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,179 Get them out! 198 00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:11,411 Pull it out! 199 00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,451 No way! 200 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:16,993 What happened? 201 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,493 I didn't pull it out. That was Mother Nature. 202 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,396 I saw a... 203 00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:28,939 Let's see if there's shit on them. 204 00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:33,673 Steve-O, is there shit on it? 205 00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,013 Yeah. 206 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:41,948 All the other stuff, like getting dicks branded on your ass, is funny. 207 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,690 Even the golden dildo up the ass, that's hilarious. 208 00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:50,319 But, like, anal beads going out of your ass, from a kite, on the beach? 209 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:54,157 There's just something a little too shady about that. 210 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,435 I was under the influence of alcoholic beverages 211 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:01,131 and I thought it was a good idea at the time. 212 00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,503 Miller High Life! 213 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,129 I love that we're scared. 214 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,170 That bull's crazy, Wee Man. 215 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,591 Oh shit! Now your cape's gone. 216 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,796 Fuck that. 217 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,006 We're at Ape and Phil's house, and I'm going to surprise them 218 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,806 with this big honking bazooka. 219 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,745 -Ape, hit the deck! -Hey! 220 00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,409 -Why? What? What is that? -Hit the fucking deck! 221 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,179 What... 222 00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,952 -Bam! -Fire in the hole! 223 00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:04,851 What was that? 224 00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:07,165 -Check my heart rate, somebody. -We're burning! 225 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:08,790 -There's a fucking fire! -190 over 1 10 or something. 226 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,766 Where? Where? 227 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,071 Bam! 228 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,671 -What? -Look at the carpet. 229 00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:16,900 The carpet's all melted. 230 00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:18,806 Dico shot that one. 231 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,339 Yeah, that was Dico's, 'cause he didn't have... 232 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:22,641 You're kind of like not hearing what I'm saying. 233 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,375 I'm saying the carpet's melted. 234 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,014 -Yeah but that wasn't me. -That was Dico's. 235 00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,449 I fired a bazooka, he fired a rocket. 236 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:30,283 I don't care who it was! The carpet's... Who's firing this in the house? 237 00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,016 That was Dico, 'cause he fired the rocket. 238 00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:33,682 That's a rocket. He did a bazooka. 239 00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,589 -Yelling at me is pointless. -Yeah, it is. 'Cause he... 240 00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:36,991 -You know what? -He did the carpet. 241 00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:39,064 -It's unfair to yell at me, 'cause l... -And I put it out. 242 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,654 Here. There's your rocket back. I put it out. 243 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,360 -I was here to help. -I'm so tired of burned-up carpet. 244 00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,967 It's not my fault, Ape. We were jamming music so much, 245 00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,595 we just wanted to rock it. 246 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,573 I dare you to push that shit over. 247 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:12,823 Unlock it! 248 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,859 Unlock it, I'll let you out. All right, buddy? 249 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,692 I'm sorry. I love you, bro. 250 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,937 Just unlock it. I'll get you out of there. 251 00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:22,269 Come on, Bam, unlock it. 252 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:25,676 I so didn't even start. 253 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,645 I'm so sorry, buddy. I didn't mean to do it. 254 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,781 You know, you just stirred up so much shit in there. 255 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,048 Oh, God! 256 00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:40,391 When we're shooting, everyone's getting fucked with, all the time. 257 00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,158 InclUding Myself. 258 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,457 Oh, fuck! 259 00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:51,168 And it got a little much, where Tremaine couldn't even... 260 00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,964 Couldn't even shoot anything on the set, because I was just... 261 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,370 I could not stop. 262 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,975 Dude, sorry. Sorry, Jeff. 263 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,512 It was so uncomfortable that l 264 00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:05,515 had to stand with my back to something, 265 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:08,381 so I could just see anything coming at me. 266 00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:10,386 Yeah, it's tough some days, man. 267 00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,991 This is a crab on a C-clamp. 268 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,692 These C-clamps don't feel good, especially on your ass. 269 00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:21,562 Or the back of the arm. Oh, my God! 270 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,101 It's going to feel really bad on the back of the arm. 271 00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,273 -Fuck! -Fuck! Damn! Shit! 272 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,772 -You've been crabbed! -It's all right. 273 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,016 I'd love to get crabs from Knoxville. 274 00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,215 -Bitch! -Rolling. 275 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,264 Oh, fuck. 276 00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,632 Fuck! 277 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,769 Don't get me with that thing. I think I got it enough. 278 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,841 Dude, you want these things to the left? 279 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,913 I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. 280 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,683 -I am fucking done. I'm fucking done. -That's for the porta-potty. 281 00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,479 -I'm done. -That's for the... 282 00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:17,654 -I'm fucking done. -Here. Here! 283 00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:20,657 -Come here. I'll get it. I'll get it. -Watch out. 284 00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:23,728 -Rape face! Rape face! -He was stuck in the porta-potty. 285 00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,021 Oh, my God. 286 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,890 -Kick his ass. -Kick his ass, Preston, fuck! 287 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,434 I'm done with that. I'm done. 288 00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:33,798 That's what I said. They play too many practical jokes. 289 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,101 You can't get no rest around these guys. 290 00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:37,232 Don't fall asleep. 291 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,537 Hell, no. You better not fall asleep around Jackass. 292 00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:57,493 Best part was 293 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:02,091 when we sprayed him with the water guns, in the cooler. 294 00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:06,729 Yeah, that was my best part, too. 295 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:10,296 Well, we filled the water guns up with pee, and we sprayed everybody. 296 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,170 What's going on? 297 00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,269 I'm pissing into this water gun, 298 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,645 and I'm going to jump in the cooler and surprise the bros. 299 00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:40,565 -Where the beers at? Rock 'n' roll. -I think it's one of those coolers. 300 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,273 I really don't drink Miller, but I'm going to have to make an exception. 301 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,284 Get you a drink, man. Join the party. 302 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:55,376 Captain Morgan on the house. 303 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,587 -Oh, shit! -Yeah, buddy! 304 00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:03,186 That don't taste like Captain Morgan! 305 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,629 It tastes like piss. 306 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:17,905 Drink up, buddy. 307 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,756 -I think that was... -Oh, man! 308 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:36,093 Last time I checked, it was piss. 309 00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:39,322 Is this piss? Oh, it is piss, isn't it? 310 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,022 Whose piss? Get away from me, little guy. 311 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,100 Don't waste it all. 312 00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:45,627 What about when the raft went off in your Lambo? 313 00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:48,731 Oh, God. Yeah. 314 00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:53,309 A raft that instantly inflates to, like, 315 00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,175 ten by seven, or soMe shit, 316 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,515 in a Lamborghini where the window is this wide as it is. 317 00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,142 in a Lamborghini where the window is this wide as it is. 318 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,991 I can jUst see the whole... The window was cracking, 319 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,960 the sUnroof was popping oUt. 320 00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:16,156 Yeah, I was like, "This sUcks so bad. " 321 00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,129 I think your windshield's messed up. 322 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:20,497 Yeah, that was... 323 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:24,166 Should have thought that one through a little bit better, dudes. 324 00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:33,107 -I played, like, maybe two weeks ago. -Do you honestly play? 325 00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:34,378 -Yeah. -Really? 326 00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:36,950 -All right. -What do you say 327 00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:38,916 I bang one out of your ass? 328 00:22:40,258 --> 00:22:41,316 I think we can do it. 329 00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:43,291 -Let me try it out of your ass. -Awesome. 330 00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:44,725 Let's get it... Put it in his ass. 331 00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:46,092 You guys are pricks. 332 00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,190 -All right. -Pull up your cardigan. 333 00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:51,264 -Oh, my... -All right. 334 00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:55,568 Let's see this kick-ass form that you're talking about. 335 00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,842 -Oh, dude! Dude. Dude. -Get me up! 336 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,207 You okay? 337 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,648 -You did good. -You asshole, you didn't even try, man. 338 00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:08,276 -You suck at golf. -No. It was good. 339 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,514 -Show the camera your hole in the butt. -Show the hole in the butt. 340 00:23:10,622 --> 00:23:11,782 Thank you, sir. 341 00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:19,757 That was great. 342 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,636 Hey, sir. Would you mind 343 00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:28,331 driving a golf ball off my friend's crotch? 344 00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:30,034 If we get a long tee. 345 00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:32,201 -Can you hit one out of his pee-pee? -Yeah, I'll try. 346 00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:34,679 Oh, man. 347 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,677 -This is golfing. -Yeah, yeah. 348 00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:39,513 -Oh, man. -Oh, my God. 349 00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:41,415 -Oh, man. -Try to get your face out of the way. 350 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,114 Just take a deep breath. Easy up, bub. 351 00:23:44,222 --> 00:23:46,122 -All right? -Oh, my God. 352 00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:48,990 All right, sir. Do your worst. 353 00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:50,391 Best! Sorry. 354 00:23:55,967 --> 00:23:56,956 Oh, my God! 355 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:58,763 -He hit it after it fell off. -Dude, I saw the ball 356 00:23:58,870 --> 00:24:00,337 Iike an inch away from my face. 357 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,100 Yeah, I don't know how he hit it when it was falling. 358 00:24:02,407 --> 00:24:04,136 -That was great. -Wow. Good hit. 359 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,005 -Man. -That was kick-ass. 360 00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:11,849 Please hit the idiots. Pass it on. 361 00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:14,381 -Hit the idiots. Pass it on. -Please hit the idiots. 362 00:24:14,486 --> 00:24:15,578 Pass it on. 363 00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:17,554 You're going to get hit, midget. 364 00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:18,984 There went one. 365 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:24,495 Man, these guys are... 366 00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:26,419 Hit them! 367 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:29,933 Look at Wee Man. 368 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,296 What jerks. 369 00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:35,800 Wow. 370 00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:40,806 -He got it right in the dick. -Was it good? 371 00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:42,243 That's great. 372 00:24:44,082 --> 00:24:47,540 So one of the things that led to the making of NUMber Two 373 00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:49,347 was when I went to Russia with the Wildboyz, 374 00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:51,945 and Tremaine saw that I was pretty excited to shoot. 375 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:55,149 And the first thing I shot in Russia was when we went to Saint Petersburg 376 00:24:55,260 --> 00:25:01,893 and there was soMe RUssian sex MUseUm/prostate exaM clinic. 377 00:25:04,069 --> 00:25:07,937 "Oh great! That sounds great! Yeah, let's go shoot it tomorrow! Great!" 378 00:25:09,641 --> 00:25:12,474 But then when we got there, they told me what they wanted me to do. 379 00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:14,674 Holy... 380 00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,182 You're just going to go face-first. 381 00:25:20,318 --> 00:25:22,752 -You can put off your trousers. -You want my trousers? 382 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,947 Yes. And we shall observe you. 383 00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:29,518 Come here, and put on your knees. 384 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:32,356 -Okay. Do I need to lose the boxers? -Just... Just... 385 00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:35,922 Sometime later. Just... Now you are... 386 00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:38,432 -Okay. -Knees here. 387 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,528 -Okay. -Knees here. 388 00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:43,005 And elbows. Elbows here. 389 00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:46,566 And also, you have to put off your trousers. 390 00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:50,373 -Just enough. -No Sacagawea. 391 00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:54,384 Just enough. These nurses may do the massage of prostate. 392 00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:57,216 -What? What? -Yeah. 393 00:25:57,355 --> 00:26:00,688 So... No, wait a second! Why is he doing it? 394 00:26:00,792 --> 00:26:03,556 -It's the... -lt is a special doctor procedure. 395 00:26:03,995 --> 00:26:07,988 It may... Only the doctor can do the massage of prostate. 396 00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:09,464 Not nurse, but doctor. 397 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:11,664 No, no, no, no. 398 00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:13,829 You guys just did the fucking Texas switch. 399 00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:15,503 You told me the nurse was going to... 400 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,404 -Rectal examination for prostate... -I don't care about... 401 00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:21,203 I don't care about a massage from the doc. 402 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,607 But, it must be done by doctor. 403 00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:26,706 Calm down. 404 00:26:26,818 --> 00:26:30,686 -There's no calming down. -No, no. There is. You're fine. 405 00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:40,054 -That's too far. -No, no, no. 406 00:26:41,232 --> 00:26:43,928 - All right, he's got to stop. It hurts. -Oh, my God! 407 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:46,227 Does it feel good? 408 00:26:46,338 --> 00:26:48,272 -No, it doesn't feel good. -It's a massage. 409 00:26:51,543 --> 00:26:53,773 Let's... Don't make eye contact. 410 00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:55,846 Tell the doc not to make eye contact. 411 00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:59,212 -Just relax, and try to enjoy it. -Relax. Try to enjoy, yes? 412 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:02,143 That will do. That will do. That's all. 413 00:27:02,253 --> 00:27:03,720 -That's good. -That's all. 414 00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:07,051 Oh, my God. He put two digits in you. 415 00:27:07,726 --> 00:27:09,819 -Come on, that felt good, right? -You are the champion. 416 00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:12,494 -You are. -Boy, did I get roped into this one. 417 00:27:12,597 --> 00:27:13,928 -You are the champion. -I won nothing! 418 00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:14,999 You're the champion. 419 00:27:17,002 --> 00:27:18,594 I'm having a great time here. 420 00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:21,865 -Am I okay? -Okay, okay. 421 00:27:23,908 --> 00:27:27,674 It's okay. There is no big problem, but some... 422 00:27:27,779 --> 00:27:30,771 Little loose in your prostate. 423 00:27:30,882 --> 00:27:32,179 He's loose. 424 00:27:33,051 --> 00:27:37,010 After I was anally probed by a device and a full-grown man... 425 00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:38,982 Hello, ma'am. 426 00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:41,058 ...I... 427 00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:43,127 There was an idea for me to go 428 00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:46,129 donate sperm, so they could you know, assess 429 00:27:46,898 --> 00:27:47,990 my virility. 430 00:27:48,533 --> 00:27:52,560 So, in this room, you are to masturbate, 431 00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:55,328 and to collect your sperm for analysis. 432 00:27:55,573 --> 00:27:58,167 For analysis. Please follow the nurse. 433 00:27:58,543 --> 00:27:59,567 Hi. 434 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,841 How many times have we joked around about going to a clinic together? 435 00:28:04,482 --> 00:28:06,040 You guys aren't coming in here. 436 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:07,576 You guys are out. 437 00:28:08,086 --> 00:28:09,610 That's a very small cup. 438 00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:13,983 Yeah, but... Okay, I'll try to hit it. 439 00:28:18,463 --> 00:28:20,198 And so I went in a room, and tried to, you know, 440 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,790 And so I went in a room, and tried to, you know, 441 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,900 give them the sperm they wanted. 442 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:27,468 But it's tough when you got four of your friends outside the door 443 00:28:27,572 --> 00:28:30,541 Iistening to you try to give sperm. 444 00:28:30,909 --> 00:28:32,774 It really blows your concentration. 445 00:28:34,612 --> 00:28:35,579 Quit giggling! 446 00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,882 So, "golden nuggets"... 447 00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,887 I can't even get a fucking hard-on. 448 00:28:44,522 --> 00:28:47,980 And for those of you who don't know, you can produce sperm with a softie. 449 00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:51,057 Just... You got to pull quick. 450 00:28:55,934 --> 00:28:57,060 So, you did it. 451 00:28:58,002 --> 00:29:00,197 It took forever. 452 00:29:00,338 --> 00:29:02,397 I don't know if you want to... I kind of missed a little. 453 00:29:02,507 --> 00:29:04,304 Who wants to... Who's... 454 00:29:10,115 --> 00:29:11,742 No, no, come on... Hey! No! No! 455 00:29:15,620 --> 00:29:17,986 Look at him! Kosick's... Look at Kosick! 456 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:23,561 -lt was water. -Funny joke. 457 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:27,256 It's about Rick Kosick. It's called Ricky Did the Boogie-Woogie. 458 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,791 We Met Ricky-Wicky In the spring of '69 459 00:29:30,902 --> 00:29:32,130 He loved to dance the boogie-woogie 460 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:33,431 And he boogie-woogied fine 461 00:29:33,538 --> 00:29:35,768 Now it's 1 987 He's a little bit older 462 00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:38,570 He's traded his CaMaro For a criMson Dodge... 463 00:29:42,547 --> 00:29:46,449 He boogie-woogie all night Boogie... 464 00:29:51,022 --> 00:29:54,116 We went to do this thing where Steve-O was going to get 465 00:29:54,859 --> 00:29:56,918 a condoM bit oUt of his ass, 466 00:29:57,262 --> 00:30:00,561 froM between his bUtt cheeks, by a rattlesnake. 467 00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:04,323 A crazy one, too. The thing was gnarly, and Mad and Mean. 468 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,831 These are the fangs of the eastern diamondback rattlesnake. 469 00:30:06,938 --> 00:30:11,034 -This is what injects the venom into you. -There goes a little more. 470 00:30:13,578 --> 00:30:14,670 -That's great. -Ready, Steve-O? 471 00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:20,009 Don't fuck with the eastern diamondback rattlesnake 472 00:30:20,118 --> 00:30:21,710 without wearing a condom. 473 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:25,347 I'm Steve-O, and this is the Rattlesnake Salad Toss. 474 00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:35,266 Move your ass that way. You got it. There you go. 475 00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:39,797 Come back. Ass back. Ass back. 476 00:30:40,238 --> 00:30:43,139 -Back up. -Why am I backing up to a rattlesnake? 477 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:46,143 This is an experiment. 478 00:30:46,244 --> 00:30:49,213 It's so important to get a rattlesnake to bite something out of my butt! 479 00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:53,077 All right. But you have to put the condom towards the snake. 480 00:30:55,053 --> 00:30:56,281 That was nice. 481 00:30:56,487 --> 00:30:58,785 Bend down. Bend over. Bend over. 482 00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:08,593 He's still got the condom in his mouth. 483 00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:10,590 So after Jackass: The Movie, 484 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,466 we started making a show called Wildboyz with Chris and Steve-O, 485 00:31:13,571 --> 00:31:16,005 and we shot soMe of the Most aMazing stUff we've ever Made. 486 00:31:16,307 --> 00:31:18,832 And so one of the ideas with Number Two was to 487 00:31:18,943 --> 00:31:21,935 recreate some of the best things we shot for Wildboyz. 488 00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:23,843 Unfortunately, it didn't always work out. 489 00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:28,374 I'm Chris Pontius, and my day is about to take a turn for the worse. 490 00:31:28,753 --> 00:31:29,720 Here's why. 491 00:31:29,821 --> 00:31:33,120 Chris, a snapping turtle's about to bite your nose. 492 00:31:35,693 --> 00:31:37,684 Oh, Jesus... 493 00:31:37,795 --> 00:31:40,263 -Well, that fucking sucked. -You got it good. 494 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,492 Oh my God! You got it so good. 495 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,563 Dude, you're like Rudolph the Red-Nosed... 496 00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:45,727 Reindeer! 497 00:31:48,373 --> 00:31:49,931 That's so beautiful. 498 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:51,736 T-nigs, that snapping turtle tore him up, huh? 499 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:55,210 Oh yeah! Guess what? If I was going to do the snapping turtle thing, 500 00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:57,575 I wouldn't do it on my nose. 501 00:31:57,682 --> 00:31:59,240 Where would you do it? On your pecker? 502 00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:00,749 Absolutely. 503 00:32:01,953 --> 00:32:04,319 So what became of that? Did we even air that on the movie? 504 00:32:04,422 --> 00:32:06,549 -Or are we putting that in 2.5? -Yeah. 505 00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:08,659 Jesus! That... 506 00:32:09,894 --> 00:32:10,883 All right. 507 00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:14,993 One of the most successful places we ever went with Wildboyz was lndia. 508 00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:17,598 Jeff wanted to go back to lndia because, 509 00:32:17,702 --> 00:32:20,466 I don't know, that's where he foUnd his spirit aniMal or soMething. 510 00:32:20,571 --> 00:32:21,868 I don't know. 511 00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:23,406 India was awesome. 512 00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:28,844 It is a beautiful country filled with rich culture and a wonderful heritage. 513 00:32:30,081 --> 00:32:31,048 No, I hated it, 514 00:32:31,149 --> 00:32:34,141 and I'm pretty sure I'm the fattest person, ever, in the history of lndia. 515 00:32:36,154 --> 00:32:40,420 The production company got about 20 other little people together. 516 00:32:40,525 --> 00:32:41,514 Hello, there. 517 00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:43,958 They probably didn't know what they were gonna be doing. 518 00:32:44,062 --> 00:32:45,029 What's up? Wee Man. 519 00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:48,121 The next thing you know, they're all getting painted blue 520 00:32:48,232 --> 00:32:50,359 and wearing orange wigs. 521 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:55,500 And it was great. I've never been with that Many little people, 522 00:32:55,606 --> 00:32:57,699 filMing one big thing at once, 523 00:32:58,076 --> 00:32:59,043 and it was awesome. 524 00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:02,405 We shot with the man with the longest fingernails in the world. 525 00:33:03,181 --> 00:33:07,584 And he's been growing these things for like, I don't know, 50 years. 526 00:33:07,685 --> 00:33:09,846 And he carries theM aroUnd... He pUts, like, a bag over theM 527 00:33:09,954 --> 00:33:12,320 that alMost looks like he's got a rifle in his hand. 528 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:14,357 And so, he agreed to shoot with Us. 529 00:33:14,459 --> 00:33:16,324 BUt he didn't really know what Jackass was, 530 00:33:16,427 --> 00:33:18,327 and we didn't really know what to do with him. 531 00:33:20,331 --> 00:33:21,889 It's Miller time. 532 00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,032 Oh, God. 533 00:33:30,141 --> 00:33:32,666 Oh, they're coming right off his fingertips. 534 00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:38,138 He probably hasn't washed those things in 50 years, O. 535 00:33:46,224 --> 00:33:47,191 Jesus! 536 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,427 Steve-O, I told you no! It offends the ladies! 537 00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:02,095 No, wait! Where you going? You can't leave the set! 538 00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:05,874 I'm sorry, ladies. 539 00:34:06,611 --> 00:34:08,169 Thank you, Shridhar. 540 00:34:09,113 --> 00:34:10,580 Thank you, Shridhar. 541 00:34:11,482 --> 00:34:12,972 So we're in lndia, and I decide, 542 00:34:13,084 --> 00:34:18,112 "All right. Well, let's sort of combine all the lndian stereotypes into one bit." 543 00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:20,349 So, we were like, "All right. Let's get a bed of nails. 544 00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:23,052 "And let's get soMe snake charMers, and, oh, shit, let's get an elephant, 545 00:34:23,161 --> 00:34:24,321 "pUt the elephant in the backgroUnd. " 546 00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:27,398 And so, one by one, I'm going through each cast member. 547 00:34:27,498 --> 00:34:29,557 I'm like, "Hey, Steve-O, you wanna lay on the bed of nails?" 548 00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:32,898 "Oh, no, dude, I did that for Wildboyz. I don't wanna do that." 549 00:34:33,004 --> 00:34:36,599 Basically, it gets down to Ehren. Ehren's always the last guy. 550 00:34:36,707 --> 00:34:40,871 And this one gets down to Ehren. And he says no. 551 00:34:40,978 --> 00:34:43,640 And I'm like, "Ehren, please, you're the last guy I can ask. 552 00:34:43,748 --> 00:34:44,976 "Just come over here and look at it." 553 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,916 Go ahead and stick it up your ass. 554 00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:52,012 Dude, look at this. A rusty nail in lndia, and he wants me to lay on that shit. No! 555 00:34:52,123 --> 00:34:55,388 -Why don't you sit on it and show us? -I sat on it! 556 00:34:55,493 --> 00:34:59,987 And Trip sits on it, and he fucking gets punctured with a rusty nail! 557 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:01,258 Through his fucking hand! 558 00:35:01,365 --> 00:35:03,526 Tetanus here in lndia. Are you kidding me? 559 00:35:03,634 --> 00:35:04,601 Fuck off! 560 00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:07,166 Crazy, dude. I ain't doing that shit. 561 00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:08,997 Bullshit. 562 00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:15,373 I'm Danger Ehren, and this is the bed of nails, with snakes. 563 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:18,708 You got it, Dange. 564 00:35:19,484 --> 00:35:22,749 Don't even worry about the cobras, man. Chris has your back. 565 00:35:24,822 --> 00:35:26,483 -I do? -Yeah. 566 00:35:30,895 --> 00:35:33,420 You got it, dude. This is... Just... 567 00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:35,354 Nice and even. 568 00:35:35,466 --> 00:35:37,434 This feels like it's gonna go right up my ass. 569 00:35:37,535 --> 00:35:38,627 No, it isn't. Put your back... 570 00:35:39,003 --> 00:35:41,767 It's a bed, Danger. You're supposed to lay on it. 571 00:35:42,340 --> 00:35:43,174 -Okay. -Dude, right on your legs. 572 00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:44,072 -Okay. -Dude, right on your legs. 573 00:35:44,175 --> 00:35:45,335 On your legs. 574 00:35:45,443 --> 00:35:46,876 And then this one. 575 00:35:47,578 --> 00:35:48,602 Hold on! 576 00:35:48,713 --> 00:35:50,544 The more you spread your weight out, the less it's gonna hurt. 577 00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:52,343 -Yeah, that's what you got to do. -Put your leg down. 578 00:35:52,450 --> 00:35:53,542 Hold on! 579 00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:55,209 What don't you understand about "put your leg down"? 580 00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:57,787 I'm on a bed of fucking nails, man! 581 00:35:58,956 --> 00:36:00,014 Fuck! 582 00:36:00,691 --> 00:36:03,057 Now on your turban, too. 583 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:05,721 Put those motherfuckers on! 584 00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:08,621 Oh, shit! 585 00:36:08,733 --> 00:36:10,325 Relax, Ehren. They're just cobras. 586 00:36:10,434 --> 00:36:13,494 Oh, God. No, not between the legs! 587 00:36:13,604 --> 00:36:16,004 Oh! Fuck, man! No fucking way! 588 00:36:18,576 --> 00:36:22,410 There's a fucking snake on my chest, 589 00:36:23,047 --> 00:36:24,878 and I'm on nails right now. 590 00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:28,574 -Are you sad? -I'm not happy. 591 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:33,422 -But you like the music. -Oh, this fucking hurts! 592 00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:39,419 Oh, shit. Shit. 593 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:43,830 Get me off of here. Get me off of here. I'm serious. Please. 594 00:36:44,502 --> 00:36:47,994 Please. I don't care... Please. Please. 595 00:36:49,106 --> 00:36:53,770 Jeff, get me the fuck off of this bed of fucking nails right now. 596 00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:56,244 -Take the snakes off! -All right, fine. 597 00:36:57,348 --> 00:36:58,440 Please... 598 00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:01,616 I'm so over this right now. Please. 599 00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,050 This is not fun! 600 00:37:03,154 --> 00:37:06,681 Seriously, I need to stop. Now! 601 00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:07,917 Please. 602 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:10,690 -All right! -Fuck! 603 00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:11,987 Fuck! 604 00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:15,899 -Want to do one more song? -Wait... Wait, no. 605 00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:18,699 You got it, dude. 606 00:37:19,337 --> 00:37:20,565 All right, a round of applause. 607 00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:23,003 Wait, wait, wait. I still need help. 608 00:37:25,209 --> 00:37:26,335 -All right, dude. -You do need help. 609 00:37:26,444 --> 00:37:28,605 You're gonna have to pull me up now. 610 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,480 Seriously, don't drop me or anything. 611 00:37:31,582 --> 00:37:32,640 Oh, look at that. 612 00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:34,342 Holy moly! 613 00:37:35,353 --> 00:37:37,913 And remember, safety first. 614 00:37:39,557 --> 00:37:41,525 Jesus. I thought we were gonna finally get rid of him. 615 00:37:41,626 --> 00:37:43,526 -All right! -Yeah! 616 00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:51,728 The ultimate failed bit that we shot for NUMber Two 617 00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:53,633 was this bit that we shot for Wildboyz 618 00:37:53,738 --> 00:37:57,435 where we got this gold froM this tribe called the Aghoris. 619 00:37:57,808 --> 00:38:00,368 The Aghoris are this religious sect in lndia 620 00:38:00,478 --> 00:38:03,413 that believe they can reach enlightenMent 621 00:38:03,514 --> 00:38:08,110 by throwing theMselves into all things that are, like, 622 00:38:08,552 --> 00:38:09,644 bad, basically. 623 00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:11,915 They eat fucking human flesh. 624 00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:14,787 They steal dead bodies oUt of graves and eat theM. 625 00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:17,884 They want to antiqUe yoU with fUcking creMated hUMan ash. 626 00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:22,323 They really are a handful. Like, they'll try to bite you, and suck your blood, 627 00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:25,527 and throw their pee on yoU, and all this terrible stUff. 628 00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:27,866 Nobody went into it with a good attitude. 629 00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:29,064 Actually, nobody even went into it, 630 00:38:29,173 --> 00:38:31,869 except for me and Pontius and Dave England. 631 00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:36,340 We saw these fucked-up dudes on TV and we decided we had to meet them. 632 00:38:36,447 --> 00:38:37,414 Again. 633 00:38:40,584 --> 00:38:43,815 So the next thing I know, I'M in a Wildboyz sandwich. 634 00:38:43,954 --> 00:38:46,149 I fUcking had this dUMbass shirt. 635 00:38:46,257 --> 00:38:48,225 I looked like a fUcking toUrist, and I got flip-flops on, 636 00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:49,293 and I'M like, "What the fUck?" 637 00:38:49,393 --> 00:38:55,457 They were all these fucking creepy, shitty, spastic, skinny Aghoris. 638 00:39:07,545 --> 00:39:09,945 They were oUt of control when we filMed with theM on Wildboyz. 639 00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:13,039 But they obviously knew it was a movie this time around. 640 00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:15,618 It's like they really tried to step it up. 641 00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:18,712 Were those the same dudes from Wildboyz? 642 00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:25,021 One of the gUys takes oUt a knife and he jUst starts slicing Up his leg. 643 00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:29,789 And I was like, "Wow, that's cool." Well, it's not really cool. 644 00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,266 And he coMes over to Us with all the blood and, like... 645 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,736 God. Yeah, we were like, "FUck this. " 646 00:39:34,839 --> 00:39:37,603 -Watch it, Dave! Watch it, Dave! -Whoa! Whoa! 647 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,537 Don't, man! 648 00:39:41,011 --> 00:39:45,004 Dude, seriously, I have Aghori-phobia and I can't handle this. 649 00:39:45,783 --> 00:39:49,241 Okay, what have you got? Guys, please. He's got blood on his thumb. 650 00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:50,713 Yeah, that's... 651 00:39:50,821 --> 00:39:53,619 -No, no. -All right! Back to... Everything's cool. 652 00:39:53,791 --> 00:39:55,759 Yeah, let's check some of that... 653 00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:59,559 Be very fucking careful, man. Go drink that blood or some shit. 654 00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:01,824 Johnny, I'm gonna fucking smack someone. 655 00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:06,092 Dave England's freaked oUt, and... We all were. We were like... 656 00:40:06,470 --> 00:40:08,961 It was just a complete disaster. 657 00:40:09,073 --> 00:40:12,236 And then the next thing yoU know, which I think is kind of weak, 658 00:40:12,343 --> 00:40:16,575 one of the gUrUs jUst pees in a cUp and he starts drinking it. 659 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,307 And we're like, "DUde! Drinking piss! That... " 660 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,283 Fucking put it in a snow cone, then maybe we'll talk. 661 00:40:22,186 --> 00:40:27,180 Welcome to the DVD extras section of Jackass NUMber Two. 662 00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:28,349 Oh, my God. 663 00:40:28,659 --> 00:40:31,958 Yeah, so the Aghoris didn't work, and I decided at that point, 664 00:40:32,062 --> 00:40:35,293 "All right, we're not shooting any more Wildboyz bits for Jackass. " 665 00:40:38,068 --> 00:40:39,126 What's happening here today, Daniel? 666 00:40:39,236 --> 00:40:41,898 Well, we're gonna take this 40-millimeter grenade launcher, 667 00:40:42,006 --> 00:40:44,873 and put this specialty impact munition called a REACT lmpact. 668 00:40:44,975 --> 00:40:48,741 REACT stands for "Radiated Energy Air-Cushioned Trajectile." 669 00:40:48,846 --> 00:40:50,575 It looks like Bam's dick. 670 00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:53,243 Show it! Come on, pull it out, pull it out. 671 00:40:53,350 --> 00:40:55,147 -Come on. -Come on, let's see it. 672 00:40:55,252 --> 00:40:58,050 -It's the same thing! -How would you know? 673 00:40:58,522 --> 00:40:59,489 Look! 674 00:41:02,893 --> 00:41:04,451 You... Screw you guys! 675 00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:06,996 Bam can have that one. I've got a new one. 676 00:41:08,399 --> 00:41:10,765 So we're gonna shoot this at about 60 feet, 677 00:41:10,868 --> 00:41:14,599 and it should make a pretty nice impact. 678 00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:16,036 -What're we gonna shoot? -You. 679 00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,472 You're gonna get shot with Bam's dick in the ass. 680 00:41:18,576 --> 00:41:20,544 -Assume the position. -Let's go. 681 00:41:22,079 --> 00:41:24,946 Are you ready for the first laugh when this happens? 682 00:41:38,596 --> 00:41:40,325 Where'd it hit him? 683 00:41:41,098 --> 00:41:42,793 -lt hit him in the butt! -Where'd it hit him at? 684 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:44,561 Oh, yeah, it hit me. 685 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,863 -Right in the middle. -But where was he hit? 686 00:41:46,971 --> 00:41:48,165 -Let's see. -I'm not fucking with you. 687 00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:49,432 Yeah, we're not touching anything. 688 00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:50,529 -Where? -Right there. 689 00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:51,733 Oh, right, underneath... 690 00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:54,174 -Yeah. -Oh, my God. 691 00:41:55,579 --> 00:41:57,410 How did BaM's dick feel on yoUr ass? 692 00:41:57,515 --> 00:42:00,382 Oh, fUck. I ain't into that, back-door shenanigans. 693 00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:04,582 -Where'd it hit you? -Right there. 694 00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:07,418 -Oh, my... -Oh, look at it now. 695 00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,083 Oh, dude, that looks awful. 696 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,025 Oh, my God. 697 00:42:12,963 --> 00:42:14,954 Holy God. 698 00:42:17,768 --> 00:42:18,735 Oh, God. 699 00:42:22,773 --> 00:42:25,298 Oh, my God, it's right next to your bean bag. 700 00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:28,077 Oh, my God. 701 00:42:28,178 --> 00:42:29,975 Did you have your bean bag out when he shot? 702 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,538 -Fuck, yeah. -That's insane! 703 00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:38,154 -How're you doing today? -I'm not stoked on the whole situation. 704 00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:39,984 -Why? -Alligators piss me off. 705 00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:43,287 And then there's fucking barbed wire above it. That sucks. 706 00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:45,157 And then we're going in this tiny little hole 707 00:42:45,262 --> 00:42:47,287 with pigs that're gonna shit and piss. 708 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:48,365 That sucks. 709 00:42:48,465 --> 00:42:52,265 Then we go through that, which is... Gonna get hit by paintballs, 710 00:42:52,369 --> 00:42:54,064 by professional paintballers. 711 00:42:54,171 --> 00:42:55,160 That sucks. 712 00:42:55,272 --> 00:42:57,365 Then we have to drink a spittoon. 713 00:42:57,474 --> 00:42:59,533 And, like, I already have a barfing problem. 714 00:42:59,643 --> 00:43:03,272 And then I'm gonna do that again for sure, 'cause that's disgusting. 715 00:43:04,648 --> 00:43:06,673 This is the Cajun Obstacle Course! 716 00:43:06,784 --> 00:43:09,651 On your mark, set get, go! 717 00:43:35,245 --> 00:43:37,611 -Oh, shit! -Go, go, go, go! 718 00:43:45,222 --> 00:43:47,053 Go, go, go, go! 719 00:43:47,658 --> 00:43:48,750 Oh, God. 720 00:44:19,089 --> 00:44:21,057 I didn't even touch it! I mean... 721 00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:23,425 Fuck it. I lose, man. 722 00:44:23,894 --> 00:44:25,156 Who drank it first? 723 00:44:25,262 --> 00:44:26,320 Bam did. 724 00:44:26,430 --> 00:44:29,160 All right. And the winner is Bam! 725 00:44:32,036 --> 00:44:33,663 Oh, right on the spit! 726 00:44:35,439 --> 00:44:37,270 Man, right on the spit. 727 00:44:38,642 --> 00:44:40,633 -Hold on. -Oh, my God. 728 00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:43,643 -Jeez. -Just get fucking naked, Wee Man. 729 00:44:43,747 --> 00:44:45,840 Today is the worst day of my life. 730 00:44:46,316 --> 00:44:48,011 Throw a snake on that guy. 731 00:44:52,956 --> 00:44:55,481 I always thoUght My whole life that Most people coUld shit on coMMand. 732 00:44:55,592 --> 00:44:57,583 I didn't think that was, like, a real... 733 00:44:57,695 --> 00:45:00,186 Some kind of quality that only certain people had. 734 00:45:00,297 --> 00:45:03,789 I just thought... It's hard to pee on command, pee in front of people, 735 00:45:03,901 --> 00:45:05,266 but for me, 736 00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,860 I can just whip my pants down and take a shit pretty much any old time. 737 00:45:13,744 --> 00:45:15,735 I've made many people puke from shitting. 738 00:45:15,846 --> 00:45:19,179 And I'm proud. And I consider myself a professional shitter, 739 00:45:19,283 --> 00:45:20,841 which I think there's very few of. 740 00:45:20,951 --> 00:45:22,680 I'm sure there are some others out there, 741 00:45:22,786 --> 00:45:24,549 but can you name one? 742 00:45:25,255 --> 00:45:26,222 Probably not. 743 00:45:27,591 --> 00:45:30,321 -Very nice... -That's fucked up. 744 00:45:30,427 --> 00:45:33,225 -Are you really giving me a pee stain? -A little bit. Jeff wanted one. 745 00:45:33,330 --> 00:45:36,629 Oh, that is sad. I have no dignity left. 746 00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:41,102 So you, in NUMber Two, were a little old lady. 747 00:45:42,172 --> 00:45:43,935 What was it like, being a little old lady? 748 00:45:44,041 --> 00:45:47,204 I think I felt vUlnerable as an old lady, 749 00:45:47,678 --> 00:45:52,775 both... Like, sexUally, people looking at My breasts, I felt vUlnerable, 750 00:45:52,883 --> 00:45:57,115 and also, I felt like my bones were more brittle, 751 00:45:57,221 --> 00:45:58,745 and something could happen to me bad. 752 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,983 Hi. Have we met before? 753 00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:03,688 -No. -I don't want to meet. 754 00:46:03,794 --> 00:46:05,887 -Do you like sex? -Hell, no! 755 00:46:06,396 --> 00:46:07,886 That's my boyfriend. Leave him alone. 756 00:46:07,998 --> 00:46:10,193 Oh, okay. All right. 757 00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,297 I loved shooting Old Man. 758 00:46:14,171 --> 00:46:17,004 You had to get up super early and you get three hours of makeup, 759 00:46:17,107 --> 00:46:20,804 but it's so fun, 'cause I can go out in the street and prank people 760 00:46:20,911 --> 00:46:24,039 Iike I did when the show began, and no one recognizes me. 761 00:46:25,215 --> 00:46:27,046 No one recognizes this. 762 00:46:27,551 --> 00:46:29,985 It's a blessing and a burden. 763 00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:32,149 Hi. My name is lrving Zisman. 764 00:46:32,256 --> 00:46:34,588 This is my good friend Clyde Singleton, 765 00:46:34,691 --> 00:46:36,591 and today we're going to take a test drive. 766 00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:38,762 Yeah. 767 00:46:41,565 --> 00:46:42,532 -Hi. -Hello. 768 00:46:43,734 --> 00:46:46,328 -How're you, son? -Are you here to see Daniel? 769 00:46:46,436 --> 00:46:47,664 -Yes, sir. -I'm Daniel. Nice to meet you. 770 00:46:47,771 --> 00:46:49,534 Oh, hi, Daniel. I'm sorry. How're you, son? 771 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,107 I'm fine, thank you. 772 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:54,842 Oh, she's a pretty one. 773 00:46:54,945 --> 00:46:57,709 -Can I take it for a spin? -Of course, of course. 774 00:46:58,048 --> 00:46:59,982 -Here you are. -Oh, thank you. 775 00:47:03,787 --> 00:47:05,778 -Starts right up. -Very good. 776 00:47:05,889 --> 00:47:06,913 Where are you from? 777 00:47:07,024 --> 00:47:09,822 Born and raised in Los Angeles, right here. 778 00:47:09,927 --> 00:47:12,555 -All right. -Never been anywhere else. 779 00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:14,893 -It's a lovely city. -lt is, it's great. 780 00:47:14,998 --> 00:47:17,398 -Everything you need, close by. -Yes. 781 00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,492 Watch out, watch out, watch out! 782 00:47:21,939 --> 00:47:23,133 Stop the car. 783 00:47:24,308 --> 00:47:26,538 What the fuck is going on? 784 00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:28,440 Just... Just stop the car, sir. 785 00:47:28,545 --> 00:47:30,308 What the fuck are you guys doing? 786 00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:32,109 -I'm sorry. -Let's get the foot off the pedal. 787 00:47:32,216 --> 00:47:34,013 -I'm serious! -Hey, hey, hey. 788 00:47:35,452 --> 00:47:38,819 -You just smashed my cart! -I'm sorry. He's an old man on... 789 00:47:39,489 --> 00:47:43,016 -What am I supposed to do? -Score one for Dixie! 790 00:47:43,460 --> 00:47:46,327 You just let Bob Barker hit my cart! 791 00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:47,727 What're you doing? 792 00:47:47,831 --> 00:47:50,322 It's not me, sir. I'm sorry. I didn't... 793 00:47:51,501 --> 00:47:53,128 -I'm shocked, too, right now. -Oh, my God. 794 00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:56,001 -What did you say, boy? -Look at this! You let this dude drive? 795 00:47:56,106 --> 00:47:59,735 Come on, dude! You let him drive. You let him drive the car. 796 00:48:00,310 --> 00:48:02,278 Can I get some reparation cans? 797 00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,779 I had no control. You saw what happened after he slammed. 798 00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:05,906 I'm really sorry. 799 00:48:06,016 --> 00:48:07,745 I got chili on my nose! 800 00:48:07,985 --> 00:48:10,044 This one bit we shot, The Construction Site. 801 00:48:10,153 --> 00:48:12,815 I wrote it... I wanted to do The Deconstruction. 802 00:48:12,923 --> 00:48:14,254 You know, I'd go to a construction site, 803 00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:16,622 and whatever they were working on, I woUld fUck it Up. 804 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,993 If they're hanging drywall, I knock it down. 805 00:48:22,032 --> 00:48:22,999 Shit. 806 00:48:27,504 --> 00:48:31,167 If they're laying out floors, I bust the floor. 807 00:48:31,275 --> 00:48:33,243 Where'd you get this shit from? 808 00:48:35,245 --> 00:48:36,735 Oh, fuck. 809 00:48:37,547 --> 00:48:38,514 There he is now! 810 00:48:39,783 --> 00:48:41,944 -We had a really good spot... -Oh, shit. 811 00:48:42,052 --> 00:48:45,852 ...and I walk in, and everyone's on their lunch break. 812 00:48:46,723 --> 00:48:49,658 So no one's wanting to deal with an old man, 813 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,888 so I really have to work to get their attention. 814 00:48:58,735 --> 00:49:01,169 Hey, there's a bathroom outside over here. 815 00:49:04,675 --> 00:49:05,642 So you really peed? 816 00:49:05,742 --> 00:49:07,505 Oh, yeah. I peed a lot! 817 00:49:08,111 --> 00:49:10,909 I mean, they were on lunch. I had to do something. 818 00:49:11,348 --> 00:49:14,681 I coUldn't pUll a Dave England, 'caUse I don't have that gift. 819 00:49:16,853 --> 00:49:19,515 Hey, sir, excuse me, you can't do that in here. 820 00:49:19,823 --> 00:49:21,222 There's a bathroom down there. 821 00:49:21,325 --> 00:49:23,953 Oh, thank you, son, I'm done now. 822 00:49:24,194 --> 00:49:26,185 Okay, we're gonna go outside. We're gonna go outside. 823 00:49:26,296 --> 00:49:27,695 We are outside! 824 00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:29,993 We're gonna go outside, sir, we're gonna go outside. 825 00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:31,897 We're gonna go outside. Come on. 826 00:49:32,002 --> 00:49:33,492 -I'm coming. -Come on. 827 00:49:34,104 --> 00:49:36,538 Whoa! Whoa! God damn it. 828 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:39,139 Let's go outside. 829 00:49:39,476 --> 00:49:41,967 -Come on, let's go. -Hey... Hey, let go of me! 830 00:49:42,346 --> 00:49:43,836 Whoa! Wow. 831 00:49:47,684 --> 00:49:50,016 God damn it. You don't got to manhandle me. 832 00:49:55,225 --> 00:49:58,991 -Oh, I bet you fellows like this, huh? -We don't want you to get hurt. 833 00:49:59,129 --> 00:50:01,188 Well, somebody's gonna get hurt and it ain't gonna be me, 834 00:50:01,298 --> 00:50:03,163 you keep manhandling me like this. 835 00:50:03,266 --> 00:50:04,824 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 836 00:50:07,504 --> 00:50:09,233 Oh, my back. 837 00:50:09,506 --> 00:50:10,768 Oh, now... 838 00:50:10,907 --> 00:50:11,874 Big man. 839 00:50:12,442 --> 00:50:13,409 Big man! 840 00:50:14,978 --> 00:50:15,945 Punks. 841 00:50:20,050 --> 00:50:21,244 What is this? 842 00:50:25,622 --> 00:50:27,180 Why do you have a camera on you? 843 00:50:27,290 --> 00:50:28,257 Oh, fuck. 844 00:50:29,192 --> 00:50:31,922 The impression I got from watching the whole crew work today 845 00:50:32,029 --> 00:50:33,997 was that you guys had never shot before. 846 00:50:34,398 --> 00:50:36,298 We had Jeffrey Ross with us, 847 00:50:36,433 --> 00:50:40,369 who is a comedian who loves to just tear people apart. 848 00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:43,667 So it was a great idea to put him right behind me in the van. 849 00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:45,036 Tremaine loves... He's... 850 00:50:45,142 --> 00:50:48,839 First of all, he has a cell phone in one hand, an earpiece, a walkie, 851 00:50:48,945 --> 00:50:51,880 and he's driving. And he's directing! 852 00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:54,950 Jump up and down. Yeah. 853 00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,883 Wait. Mike! Mike! Mike! 854 00:50:56,987 --> 00:50:58,477 What am I gonna do, dude? 855 00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:01,455 You should have moved it like a pickup basketball game. 856 00:51:02,325 --> 00:51:06,785 Who's around? Let's see who's around. Maybe we'll get some good shit. 857 00:51:08,632 --> 00:51:11,226 It's like watching a bUnch of retards play poker in the dark. 858 00:51:13,870 --> 00:51:16,202 BUt at the end we got the footage we needed. 859 00:51:16,306 --> 00:51:19,036 I mean, there was really no rhyme or reason... 860 00:51:19,142 --> 00:51:22,339 Yeah, you can cut that together into a DVD extra. 861 00:51:24,548 --> 00:51:25,708 Ouch! 862 00:51:26,983 --> 00:51:29,315 Are you really peeing? Oh, my God. 863 00:51:29,419 --> 00:51:32,479 -ls it working? Am I hitting anything? -Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 864 00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:33,681 Oh, my God! 865 00:51:35,258 --> 00:51:37,488 It hurts to... I'm just gonna save it. 866 00:51:40,230 --> 00:51:43,063 -You fucking asshole! -Oh, my God! Here! Here, here! 867 00:51:45,402 --> 00:51:48,496 No, no! Let go! Oh, no, no! My good scarf! 868 00:51:49,072 --> 00:51:51,472 -My piss reeks. -Oh, God. 869 00:51:53,210 --> 00:51:55,371 We're here with BMX legend Mat Hoffman, 870 00:51:55,479 --> 00:51:58,209 and this is Mini Motorcycle Mayhem! 871 00:53:07,117 --> 00:53:08,550 Sorry, bro. 872 00:53:08,652 --> 00:53:11,416 I didn't see you there. I thought you went over to produce. 873 00:53:11,521 --> 00:53:14,319 Dave! You knocked out my tooth again! 874 00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:15,391 Sorry, dude... 875 00:53:16,726 --> 00:53:19,991 We keep trying to get a good bit with me dressed as a baby. 876 00:53:20,964 --> 00:53:23,524 And it's not happening. I don't know what it is. 877 00:53:23,633 --> 00:53:24,827 We filmed this atrocity 878 00:53:24,935 --> 00:53:28,371 where we thought it'd be funny if Wee Man was born. 879 00:53:28,471 --> 00:53:32,407 So we covered hiM with toMato saUce and dressed hiM Up as a baby. 880 00:53:33,944 --> 00:53:36,071 This is already fucking bullshit. 881 00:53:38,148 --> 00:53:40,912 -All right, Tremaine. -Stop it. You need to be there. 882 00:53:41,017 --> 00:53:43,918 We had the lady that made me disappear. 883 00:53:44,387 --> 00:53:47,117 We tried to have her sit on Me. 884 00:53:47,257 --> 00:53:50,317 And then have her giving birth to a Wee Man. 885 00:53:50,460 --> 00:53:52,792 Full speed once it's on and then you get out of the way. 886 00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:55,194 -Oh, God. -No! No! I can't breathe! 887 00:53:55,298 --> 00:53:58,165 Hold on, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Seriously. 888 00:53:58,268 --> 00:54:01,533 Up! Up! Help her! Get her off my fucking ankle! 889 00:54:01,638 --> 00:54:03,230 It's in the ground, dude. 890 00:54:04,808 --> 00:54:07,936 No, dude, I can't do this, dude. It's fucking... 891 00:54:08,645 --> 00:54:13,480 And it just... It was bad. It was horrible, and it didn't happen. 892 00:54:13,650 --> 00:54:16,710 -This one, I'm ashamed. -Okay, watch out. 893 00:54:16,820 --> 00:54:18,412 I'm just ashamed. 894 00:54:18,521 --> 00:54:21,081 In NUMber Two, we were obsessed with doing a thing called The Poof, 895 00:54:21,191 --> 00:54:23,056 where you could see a fart. 896 00:54:23,193 --> 00:54:27,721 You had to put powder up the ass, to fart and see it. 897 00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:30,129 But no one could fart when they were supposed to. 898 00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:33,197 -I'm Johnny Knoxville. -And I'm Wee Man. 899 00:54:33,336 --> 00:54:35,736 And this is The Poof. 900 00:54:41,077 --> 00:54:42,066 -All right. -Oh, yeah? 901 00:54:42,178 --> 00:54:43,907 Yeah, right there. 902 00:54:44,014 --> 00:54:47,973 Baby needs a little powder. 903 00:54:51,588 --> 00:54:55,752 Oh, baby needs a lot of powder. It's really wet back there. 904 00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:58,487 Okay, this is completely between bros. This is for the bit. 905 00:54:58,595 --> 00:55:01,291 -I'm just going to spread them a little. -Wee, turn your head. 906 00:55:01,398 --> 00:55:03,628 -Okay. -Okay, wait, wait, wait! Let it die down. 907 00:55:03,733 --> 00:55:06,031 Not yet. Let it die down. 908 00:55:07,137 --> 00:55:08,126 -Okay. -Ready? 909 00:55:08,305 --> 00:55:09,272 I might shit. 910 00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:13,809 -I might shit. Hold on. -Wait, wait, wait. 911 00:55:13,910 --> 00:55:15,605 Wait, I'm supposed to get enough in there to, like... 912 00:55:15,712 --> 00:55:16,679 Okay, here goes, here it goes. 913 00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:20,210 I'm afraid I might shit, seriously. 914 00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,148 God damn! 915 00:55:23,019 --> 00:55:25,283 No, that's not the goal! 916 00:55:25,388 --> 00:55:29,188 What? Did baby make a boom-boom? 917 00:55:29,893 --> 00:55:32,521 Did the baby... You little rascal! 918 00:55:32,629 --> 00:55:33,596 God! 919 00:55:39,469 --> 00:55:40,458 I told you. 920 00:55:40,570 --> 00:55:43,004 Baby doesn't need to make a boom-boom! 921 00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:48,838 Now who wants to change baby's diaper? 922 00:55:50,513 --> 00:55:52,777 You see that? 923 00:55:55,452 --> 00:55:58,285 I told you I had to poop. 924 00:55:59,823 --> 00:56:02,451 So we really couldn't get anyone to fart on command. We kept trying, 925 00:56:02,559 --> 00:56:05,289 until finally Knoxville came up with the idea 926 00:56:05,395 --> 00:56:08,660 to force some air up one of the cast members' asses. 927 00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:10,999 Poor Mike Judge. 928 00:56:11,101 --> 00:56:14,969 I call him and ask him will he be in the movie, and he's like, "Sure!" 929 00:56:15,338 --> 00:56:18,307 "So, well, come by my house tomorrow. We're shooting a few things." 930 00:56:18,408 --> 00:56:20,399 And boy, did he walk in at the wrong time. 931 00:56:20,810 --> 00:56:21,902 He makes... 932 00:56:22,979 --> 00:56:25,948 Like, King of the Hill, he made Beavis and BUtt-Head, and... 933 00:56:26,049 --> 00:56:28,916 He got pulled into it. I don't know what his role in it was. 934 00:56:29,018 --> 00:56:31,179 Just being there, you're guilty by association. 935 00:56:31,988 --> 00:56:33,182 You know, once you're there, 936 00:56:33,289 --> 00:56:36,747 I guess you don't wanna be a party-pooper. 937 00:56:36,860 --> 00:56:40,455 So I ended up pumping a fireplace bellows up a man's butt. 938 00:56:44,534 --> 00:56:46,968 I was thinking, this is usually 939 00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:49,231 the kind of thing you have to do to get into show business, 940 00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:51,034 or at the beginning of your career, 941 00:56:51,141 --> 00:56:54,338 and I mean, I've accomplished all this stuff, 942 00:56:54,444 --> 00:56:56,173 and there I am... 943 00:56:57,714 --> 00:56:59,944 I just got to be more careful, I guess. 944 00:57:01,217 --> 00:57:04,414 We're with Mike Judge and it's time for The Butt Bellows. 945 00:57:05,388 --> 00:57:08,789 No one wants to do this at all, so we're going to draw reeds of grass 946 00:57:08,892 --> 00:57:12,521 to see who has to get it up their bum. 947 00:57:12,629 --> 00:57:13,789 -All right. -Okay? 948 00:57:13,897 --> 00:57:16,866 -I'm after Knox. -Okay. I'm after Pontius, then. 949 00:57:19,469 --> 00:57:21,334 -That's it. He gets the camera. -Yes! 950 00:57:22,005 --> 00:57:24,064 Let's see who's got the smallest. 951 00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:26,103 -Preston! -Preston! 952 00:57:26,209 --> 00:57:28,336 Ready, everyone? Okay, let's do it. 953 00:57:29,179 --> 00:57:30,407 Excuse me. 954 00:57:33,650 --> 00:57:37,279 You got to be... Do it slow. Do it... 955 00:57:38,655 --> 00:57:39,622 I just... 956 00:57:40,490 --> 00:57:42,287 He hasn't put it in yet, Preston. 957 00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:46,158 I'm just gonna spread your butt cheeks, okay? Wee Man's gotta find the hole. 958 00:57:46,262 --> 00:57:47,991 Hey, Mike. 959 00:57:48,498 --> 00:57:49,931 Is that it? 960 00:57:50,033 --> 00:57:51,933 Oh, yeah, it's in my butt hole. 961 00:57:52,569 --> 00:57:53,866 I guess I have to look, dude. 962 00:57:54,838 --> 00:57:56,169 -Do you feel wind? -Slow, Mike! 963 00:57:56,272 --> 00:57:57,569 Yeah, I know, but there is a hole. 964 00:57:57,674 --> 00:57:59,665 -Do you feel like you have to fart? -Yeah. 965 00:57:59,776 --> 00:58:02,643 -I'll try to fart. -Okay, wait, wait, wait. 966 00:58:03,346 --> 00:58:04,472 -Do you have to, Preston? -No. 967 00:58:04,581 --> 00:58:06,708 -No? Okay, keep on pumping. -I'm trying. 968 00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:08,511 Let's go back in. 969 00:58:09,319 --> 00:58:10,513 What about a straw? 970 00:58:11,287 --> 00:58:14,450 Who's gonna blow a straw up one of their bros' butts? 971 00:58:14,557 --> 00:58:16,991 Well, Steve-O's probably done that before. 972 00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,421 Easy does it! 973 00:58:20,630 --> 00:58:22,427 To the left, to the left, to the left! 974 00:58:22,532 --> 00:58:24,090 Not... The other left! 975 00:58:25,068 --> 00:58:28,003 -To the fucking left! -Camera left, you dipshit! 976 00:58:29,606 --> 00:58:31,369 -That is the left! -That's right! 977 00:58:31,474 --> 00:58:33,772 -That's... Right, then! -That's his left. 978 00:58:33,877 --> 00:58:36,345 Yeah, but the straw's bending to the right. 979 00:58:36,446 --> 00:58:37,470 Oh, I'm sorry. 980 00:58:37,580 --> 00:58:39,480 -Does it have to go in a little bit more? -A little bit more. 981 00:58:39,582 --> 00:58:41,106 -All right, I'm gonna stick it straight in. -Jesus! 982 00:58:41,217 --> 00:58:43,082 -You got to relax. -I can't. 983 00:58:45,722 --> 00:58:48,088 I've never had this much trouble forcing something into someone's ass. 984 00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:49,351 You're gonna get blood. 985 00:58:49,459 --> 00:58:51,927 -I'm gonna blow in the straw. -Blow! Blow! 986 00:58:52,595 --> 00:58:53,721 Fill him up. 987 00:58:55,331 --> 00:58:57,026 I can't really blow, dude. 988 00:58:57,166 --> 00:58:58,690 We are trying to seal... 989 00:59:06,442 --> 00:59:07,534 Oh, my God. 990 00:59:13,049 --> 00:59:16,382 He farted on him! He farted on him! 991 00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:31,467 Oh, my God. 992 00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,796 Preston, way to go! 993 00:59:32,936 --> 00:59:35,700 -Preston! Preston! -Preston! Preston! 994 00:59:35,805 --> 00:59:37,864 I've wanted to work with Mike JUdge My whole life. 995 00:59:37,974 --> 00:59:39,464 Ever since I've been in this bUsiness. 996 00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:43,706 But I never thought it would be in the capacity of him running air up my ass. 997 00:59:49,819 --> 00:59:52,310 Now, there's one thing 998 00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:56,950 most of you men will be able to say when you get back home. 999 00:59:57,860 --> 00:59:59,725 And you may thank God for it. 1000 01:00:00,563 --> 01:00:04,192 Thirty years from now, when you're sitting around your fireside, 1001 01:00:04,300 --> 01:00:06,461 with your grandson on your knee, 1002 01:00:07,036 --> 01:00:12,474 and he says, "Grandpa, what did you do in the great Jackass NUMber Two?" 1003 01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:19,238 Well, you won't have to say, "l ate shit down in Louisiana." 1004 01:00:19,882 --> 01:00:21,645 'Cause that was Dave England. 1005 01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:25,950 All right, you sons of bitches. 1006 01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:28,246 Now you know how I feel. 1007 01:00:29,659 --> 01:00:34,687 What do you say we hit the showers? 1008 01:01:00,957 --> 01:01:02,481 That was horrible! 1009 01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:06,818 Film the poo, Rick. 1010 01:01:06,929 --> 01:01:08,897 -Rick, film the poo. -I'm filming the fucking poo! 1011 01:01:08,998 --> 01:01:11,228 -You're the fucking... -I'm not getting any closer! 1012 01:01:11,334 --> 01:01:14,269 -Oh, gross! -Rick, film the poo, dude. 1013 01:01:15,104 --> 01:01:16,503 Rick, film the poo! 1014 01:01:17,807 --> 01:01:19,331 Rick, film the... 1015 01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:35,586 And the spaghetti sauce. I mean, the whole deal. 1016 01:01:39,162 --> 01:01:41,790 I'm Wee Man, and this is The Leapfrog. 1017 01:01:47,603 --> 01:01:48,570 Damn! 1018 01:01:50,773 --> 01:01:52,900 -Shit! -Oh, God! 1019 01:01:53,009 --> 01:01:54,306 Oh, God. 1020 01:01:54,410 --> 01:01:55,934 You didn't see that coming! 1021 01:01:57,780 --> 01:01:59,213 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1022 01:02:07,690 --> 01:02:08,657 Safe! 1023 01:02:10,827 --> 01:02:12,226 Yeah, bro! 1024 01:02:33,516 --> 01:02:35,006 That feels awful. 1025 01:02:37,687 --> 01:02:40,918 I'm alive! I'm alive! 1026 01:02:43,693 --> 01:02:46,685 I have to give an apology to Jeff Tremaine, the director of the movie, 1027 01:02:46,796 --> 01:02:49,629 because I'm a total piece of work once again, 1028 01:02:50,032 --> 01:02:51,932 and I still have a half a bottle... 1029 01:02:52,034 --> 01:02:55,026 -You have to say sorry now, buddy! -Fucking motherfucker. 1030 01:02:57,406 --> 01:02:59,465 At this point, I don't even care. 1031 01:03:00,543 --> 01:03:04,274 When the day is done When the sUn goes down 1032 01:03:04,380 --> 01:03:06,473 When the children fry 1033 01:03:08,050 --> 01:03:09,915 When the Mothers frown 1034 01:03:10,019 --> 01:03:12,146 When the blood is spilled 1035 01:03:12,255 --> 01:03:14,189 And when the knives are drawn 1036 01:03:14,290 --> 01:03:15,951 When the blood is spilled 1037 01:03:16,058 --> 01:03:17,923 And yoUr body shakes 1038 01:03:18,027 --> 01:03:19,460 And yoUr bones will chill 1039 01:03:19,562 --> 01:03:21,359 YoU see a ghost 1040 01:03:24,467 --> 01:03:26,594 My God, I've seen a ghost 1041 01:03:28,504 --> 01:03:29,471 Y eah. 1042 01:03:30,239 --> 01:03:31,604 It's for the kids. 1043 01:03:32,341 --> 01:03:33,831 What song do you have down? 1044 01:03:33,943 --> 01:03:35,911 No sweat It's jUst a ghost 79619

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