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Attention!
2
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Be seated.
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Now, I'd like to present to you
Jackass 2.5.
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But before I do,
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00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:46,830
I would like to introduce you
to the fine men
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who risked their lives
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and livers to make this film possible.
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By God, they made it their duty.
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Soldiers!
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About face!
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Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass!
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At ease.
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When we went out to shoot
Jackass NUMber Two,
14
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we actually shot
15
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two movies' worth of a movie.
16
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I don't know how we ended up
with so much footage. I think...
17
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,198
We didn't really want to stop filming.
18
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:58,277
It's just funner than normal life.
19
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This is pure black house paint.
20
00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,012
-It's not really house paint, it's interior.
-lt'll be all right.
21
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,044
Water-based, of course.
22
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,713
Just paint the fat bastard up,
and let's get this over with.
23
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:14,356
The second thing we shot for
Jackass NUMber Two was a bit called
24
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:15,925
Beauty and the Beast.
25
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,964
And it's an idea Preston wrote, where
26
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:23,868
we dress him up as a gorilla, and
Wee Man up as the damsel in distress.
27
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:27,970
And we stand theM Up on top of
a bUilding, or in oUr case a porta-potty,
28
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:30,338
and fly airplanes at theM
and crash theM into theM
29
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,274
and, yoU know, he's the big King Kong.
30
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,104
And after hiding
my extreme fear of heights
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00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,410
for six years, I got busted.
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00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,951
What's the technical word for that,
fear of heights?
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00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,847
Fatty-fall-down-aphobia?
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00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,216
Oh, shit!
35
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,195
Oh, here it comes.
36
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:53,829
-Come on, Kong.
-Oh, my God!
37
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,426
Oh, my God, Kong!
38
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,732
-Bring it back. Bring it back.
-Come on, Kong!
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00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,773
It's coming in fast this time, Kong!
40
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,209
Come on!
41
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,867
Holy shit!
42
00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:07,579
-Beat its ass!
-Oh, my God!
43
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,147
I'm dizzy. I'm dizzy.
I'm about to pass out.
44
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,183
Oh, my God!
45
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,552
-Oh, shit!
-Oh, crap.
46
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,089
-Oh shit! Hey, Preston!
-Preston! Sit down!
47
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,927
-Sit down.
-Sit down.
48
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,492
Preston, get down.
49
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,400
Hey, do the sound.
50
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:39,706
Preston, you're doing good, buddy.
51
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:42,144
I thought he was crying at one point.
52
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,679
How you doing?
53
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,247
Hey, we're getting gold, man.
54
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,148
-Watch out.
-He's going to shit himself.
55
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,082
Hey, Gay Ray can't rescue you.
56
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,747
Get back up there, Wee Man.
57
00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:55,854
I was Up there having, literally,
the worst day of My daMn life.
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00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:59,289
All I could see was all the boys,
all my friends down there,
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00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,094
just pointing and laughing at me.
60
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,031
-Grab the prop.
-What's happening?
61
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,467
-Ready, go!
-He looks like a giant target.
62
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:08,334
It's the kind of shit
that you feel like a bad person for.
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00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:10,204
Save your woman!
64
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,276
-Shit!
-You all right?
65
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,241
Oh, no, dude, that was not good.
66
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,511
-He's all right.
-ls he good?
67
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:23,316
-I can't believe he's all right.
-Dude, he missed the mattress.
68
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,090
-Biggest noise.
-That wasn't very good.
69
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,050
It didn't end very good.
70
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,824
I don't got anything to say about that.
71
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,095
You all right?
72
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:40,634
It was the hardest day of any day
I've had in Jackass, in eight years.
73
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,138
And I honestly didn't think I'd be able
to finish the Movie after that.
74
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:45,403
It was that bad.
75
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,517
-Hello. I'm Preston Lacy.
-And I'm Wee Man.
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00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,221
This is Beauty and the Beast!
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00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,881
Save me, big gorilla, save me!
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00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,322
I wonder how yoU explain
the difference in... That's insane.
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00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,396
That's insane.
80
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,762
-Save your woman.
-Save your career.
81
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,729
Hey, man, come on!
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00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,768
Save me, big gorilla, save me.
83
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:24,874
Save me, big gorilla, save me.
84
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:31,147
-That's one brave monkey.
-Oh, yeah, it is.
85
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:00,248
What the fuck?
86
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,587
It just goes to show
that when the chips are down
87
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,076
It just goes to show
that when the chips are down
88
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:03,780
and life looks like it really sucks...
89
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:06,386
Xanax!
90
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:13,526
I'm Phil Margera, and I'm hungry
for some goddamn meatballs.
91
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,466
Do it.
92
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:19,836
Are you all right?
93
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:22,897
Yeah, it got Me like a pUnch.
94
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,636
-YoU going to have a black eye?
-I think so.
95
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:25,711
-Oh My God.
-I hope so.
96
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:29,173
-How was those meatballs, Phil?
-They were delish.
97
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,347
-Ape, you did a good job.
-Thank you.
98
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,156
I wrote this skit, Dizzy Boxing.
99
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,985
And when I wrote it, I wrote that
we would be suspended from ropes
100
00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:43,755
that would be twisted around
and around and around,
101
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,990
so much that when you let go,
it just spins you like crazy,
102
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:49,295
to where you're just a human blur.
And then you'd box.
103
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,597
So you'd be... I mean, crazy dizzy.
104
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:55,329
And then, so,
we end up at some hotel room
105
00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:58,608
and office chairs to be spUn aroUnd in.
106
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:01,345
I'm Dave England,
with Ehren McGhehey,
107
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:02,414
and this is Dizzy Boxing.
108
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:07,976
Yeah! Spin that bitch.
109
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,621
Oh, shit.
110
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,227
-Let's get it on!
-Kill him.
111
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,602
Break it up. Break it up. Break it up.
112
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,302
Back to your corner.
Back to your corner.
113
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:40,215
I want you to kill him. Not just beat
him up. I want you to make him dead.
114
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,150
He's going to go down.
I'm gonna kill him.
115
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:46,114
I've been saving it for this round.
This is going to be the one.
116
00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:47,192
Round 2.
117
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,167
Let's get it on!
118
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,742
-Fight it out. Let's go. Let's go.
-Kill him.
119
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,446
All right, break it up. Break it up.
Break it up.
120
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,589
-Look, he's all amped up.
-Yeah, he won a round. He's stoked.
121
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,487
He's got the taste for blood.
He wants to kill.
122
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,429
Yeah!
123
00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:28,557
Round 3.
124
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,437
-All right, D. Just kick his ass.
-Come on, England.
125
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,868
Straight to the DVD.
126
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,136
Straight to the DVD.
127
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,205
Let's get it on!
128
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,715
Yeah!
129
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,485
Yeah!
130
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:53,086
Yeah, that's right!
131
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:55,418
-Yeah!
-That was a good one.
132
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,299
Stop! He's down, he's down.
133
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,131
I'd never break up a fight like that.
134
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:07,297
One, two, three, four, five,
135
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:12,537
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
136
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:14,006
We have a winner!
137
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,546
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
138
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,113
Winner is Ehren McGhehey!
139
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:19,946
Dizzy boxing champion!
140
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:21,954
And there's the loser.
141
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:33,026
-Hello?
-Hi, Mom.
142
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,825
-Hi.
-I'm at the beach.
143
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,571
That doesn't soUnd...
Well norMally, I'd say, 'Yay!"
144
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,106
BUt that doesn't soUnd too good.
145
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,102
I'm going to film a skit.
146
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:47,475
It's called the Butt Bead Ass Kite.
147
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,074
What?
148
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,074
I'm going to fly a kite out of my ass.
149
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:56,279
YoU need to explain this to Me.
How do yoU fly a kite oUt of yoUr bUtt?
150
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,281
You put anal beads up there.
151
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,054
Are yoU kidding Me?
152
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,663
Yeah, don't worry, I'm going to help out.
153
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:11,225
The beads are going to be totally
lubed up, April, it's cool.
154
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:12,999
-We're going to spit on them.
-Are yoU joking?
155
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:15,099
"We're going to spit on them"!
156
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:17,667
Ape, what do you think?
157
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,904
How are yoU not going
to get arrested doing this?
158
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,239
We have permits.
159
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:24,511
-Yeah.
-Where do yoU get a perMit for that?
160
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,777
Paramount.
161
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,683
We can't get a perMit
for soMething stUpid, like an addition,
162
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,255
and yoU're getting a perMit for that?
163
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:33,916
-So, do you approve of this skit?
-No!
164
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:37,553
-Well, I'm doing it anyway. Goodbye.
-I knew yoU woUld, bUt I...
165
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:46,067
It's a beautiful day at the beach,
and I feel like flying a kite.
166
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,630
Out of my ass!
167
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,469
I just lost a shitload of fans.
168
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,636
But I gained four in Key West.
169
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:00,812
Oh, man.
170
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,482
Sand in the Vaseline now.
171
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:07,786
There you go.
172
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,022
Ape is going to hate this one.
173
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,257
Get it in there, buddy!
174
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:13,831
-I'm trying!
-I can't do this.
175
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,666
What's going on back there?
176
00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,631
-Fucking freak!
-Check this. Chris, check.
177
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,136
-What's the ball count there, dude?
-I can't do this.
178
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,638
-What's the ball count, Chris?
-All right, I'll tell you the ball count.
179
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,140
Hold on. I'll tell you guys the ball count.
180
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,266
Take the ball count,
181
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,776
-and just agree that it's good.
-It's...
182
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,972
-It's three balls.
-One more to go!
183
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:30,170
-Come on.
-One more to go.
184
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:32,682
One more, Bam. One more.
185
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:36,148
-I don't need any help.
-Push it in!
186
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,449
-Time to go!
-I got it.
187
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,250
-Okay, it's ready.
-This is just like a fucking pirate...
188
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,725
-It's fucking in! It's all in!
-I'm impressed.
189
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,689
I'm impressed, too. I'm impressed.
190
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,721
Fly the fucking kite!
191
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,693
Fly the kite! Fly the fucking kite!
192
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,336
Fly the kite!
193
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,234
-You ready?
-Fly the kite!
194
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,034
Here goes the kite!
195
00:12:58,577 --> 00:12:59,908
Pull it out!
196
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,678
Get them out! Get them out!
197
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,179
Get them out!
198
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:11,411
Pull it out!
199
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,451
No way!
200
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:16,993
What happened?
201
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,493
I didn't pull it out.
That was Mother Nature.
202
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,396
I saw a...
203
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:28,939
Let's see if there's shit on them.
204
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:33,673
Steve-O, is there shit on it?
205
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,013
Yeah.
206
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:41,948
All the other stuff, like getting
dicks branded on your ass, is funny.
207
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,690
Even the golden dildo up the ass,
that's hilarious.
208
00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:50,319
But, like, anal beads going out
of your ass, from a kite, on the beach?
209
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:54,157
There's just something
a little too shady about that.
210
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,435
I was under the influence
of alcoholic beverages
211
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:01,131
and I thought it was
a good idea at the time.
212
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,503
Miller High Life!
213
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,129
I love that we're scared.
214
00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,170
That bull's crazy, Wee Man.
215
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,591
Oh shit! Now your cape's gone.
216
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,796
Fuck that.
217
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,006
We're at Ape and Phil's house,
and I'm going to surprise them
218
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,806
with this big honking bazooka.
219
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,745
-Ape, hit the deck!
-Hey!
220
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,409
-Why? What? What is that?
-Hit the fucking deck!
221
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,179
What...
222
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,952
-Bam!
-Fire in the hole!
223
00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:04,851
What was that?
224
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:07,165
-Check my heart rate, somebody.
-We're burning!
225
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:08,790
-There's a fucking fire!
-190 over 1 10 or something.
226
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,766
Where? Where?
227
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,071
Bam!
228
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,671
-What?
-Look at the carpet.
229
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:16,900
The carpet's all melted.
230
00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:18,806
Dico shot that one.
231
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,339
Yeah, that was Dico's,
'cause he didn't have...
232
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:22,641
You're kind of like not hearing
what I'm saying.
233
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,375
I'm saying the carpet's melted.
234
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,014
-Yeah but that wasn't me.
-That was Dico's.
235
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,449
I fired a bazooka, he fired a rocket.
236
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:30,283
I don't care who it was! The carpet's...
Who's firing this in the house?
237
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,016
That was Dico,
'cause he fired the rocket.
238
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:33,682
That's a rocket. He did a bazooka.
239
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,589
-Yelling at me is pointless.
-Yeah, it is. 'Cause he...
240
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:36,991
-You know what?
-He did the carpet.
241
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:39,064
-It's unfair to yell at me, 'cause l...
-And I put it out.
242
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,654
Here. There's your rocket back.
I put it out.
243
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,360
-I was here to help.
-I'm so tired of burned-up carpet.
244
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,967
It's not my fault, Ape.
We were jamming music so much,
245
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,595
we just wanted to rock it.
246
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,573
I dare you to push that shit over.
247
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:12,823
Unlock it!
248
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,859
Unlock it, I'll let you out.
All right, buddy?
249
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,692
I'm sorry. I love you, bro.
250
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,937
Just unlock it. I'll get you out of there.
251
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:22,269
Come on, Bam, unlock it.
252
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:25,676
I so didn't even start.
253
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,645
I'm so sorry, buddy.
I didn't mean to do it.
254
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,781
You know, you just stirred up
so much shit in there.
255
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,048
Oh, God!
256
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:40,391
When we're shooting, everyone's
getting fucked with, all the time.
257
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,158
InclUding Myself.
258
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,457
Oh, fuck!
259
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:51,168
And it got a little much,
where Tremaine couldn't even...
260
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,964
Couldn't even shoot anything on the set,
because I was just...
261
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,370
I could not stop.
262
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,975
Dude, sorry. Sorry, Jeff.
263
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,512
It was so uncomfortable that l
264
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:05,515
had to stand with my back to something,
265
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:08,381
so I could just see
anything coming at me.
266
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:10,386
Yeah, it's tough some days, man.
267
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,991
This is a crab on a C-clamp.
268
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,692
These C-clamps don't feel good,
especially on your ass.
269
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:21,562
Or the back of the arm. Oh, my God!
270
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,101
It's going to feel really bad
on the back of the arm.
271
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,273
-Fuck!
-Fuck! Damn! Shit!
272
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,772
-You've been crabbed!
-It's all right.
273
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,016
I'd love to get crabs from Knoxville.
274
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,215
-Bitch!
-Rolling.
275
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,264
Oh, fuck.
276
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,632
Fuck!
277
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,769
Don't get me with that thing.
I think I got it enough.
278
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,841
Dude, you want these things to the left?
279
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,913
I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.
280
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,683
-I am fucking done. I'm fucking done.
-That's for the porta-potty.
281
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,479
-I'm done.
-That's for the...
282
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:17,654
-I'm fucking done.
-Here. Here!
283
00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:20,657
-Come here. I'll get it. I'll get it.
-Watch out.
284
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:23,728
-Rape face! Rape face!
-He was stuck in the porta-potty.
285
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,021
Oh, my God.
286
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,890
-Kick his ass.
-Kick his ass, Preston, fuck!
287
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,434
I'm done with that. I'm done.
288
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:33,798
That's what I said. They play
too many practical jokes.
289
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,101
You can't get no rest
around these guys.
290
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:37,232
Don't fall asleep.
291
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,537
Hell, no. You better not
fall asleep around Jackass.
292
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:57,493
Best part was
293
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:02,091
when we sprayed him
with the water guns, in the cooler.
294
00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:06,729
Yeah, that was my best part, too.
295
00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:10,296
Well, we filled the water guns up
with pee, and we sprayed everybody.
296
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,170
What's going on?
297
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,269
I'm pissing into this water gun,
298
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,645
and I'm going to jump in the cooler
and surprise the bros.
299
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:40,565
-Where the beers at? Rock 'n' roll.
-I think it's one of those coolers.
300
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,273
I really don't drink Miller, but I'm going
to have to make an exception.
301
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,284
Get you a drink, man. Join the party.
302
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:55,376
Captain Morgan on the house.
303
00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,587
-Oh, shit!
-Yeah, buddy!
304
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:03,186
That don't taste like Captain Morgan!
305
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,629
It tastes like piss.
306
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:17,905
Drink up, buddy.
307
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,756
-I think that was...
-Oh, man!
308
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:36,093
Last time I checked, it was piss.
309
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:39,322
Is this piss? Oh, it is piss, isn't it?
310
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,022
Whose piss?
Get away from me, little guy.
311
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,100
Don't waste it all.
312
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:45,627
What about when the raft
went off in your Lambo?
313
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:48,731
Oh, God. Yeah.
314
00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:53,309
A raft that instantly inflates to, like,
315
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,175
ten by seven, or soMe shit,
316
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,515
in a Lamborghini
where the window is this wide as it is.
317
00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,142
in a Lamborghini
where the window is this wide as it is.
318
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,991
I can jUst see the whole...
The window was cracking,
319
00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,960
the sUnroof was popping oUt.
320
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:16,156
Yeah, I was like, "This sUcks so bad. "
321
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,129
I think your windshield's messed up.
322
00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:20,497
Yeah, that was...
323
00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:24,166
Should have thought that one through
a little bit better, dudes.
324
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:33,107
-I played, like, maybe two weeks ago.
-Do you honestly play?
325
00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:34,378
-Yeah.
-Really?
326
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:36,950
-All right.
-What do you say
327
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:38,916
I bang one out of your ass?
328
00:22:40,258 --> 00:22:41,316
I think we can do it.
329
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:43,291
-Let me try it out of your ass.
-Awesome.
330
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:44,725
Let's get it... Put it in his ass.
331
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:46,092
You guys are pricks.
332
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,190
-All right.
-Pull up your cardigan.
333
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:51,264
-Oh, my...
-All right.
334
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:55,568
Let's see this kick-ass form
that you're talking about.
335
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,842
-Oh, dude! Dude. Dude.
-Get me up!
336
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,207
You okay?
337
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,648
-You did good.
-You asshole, you didn't even try, man.
338
00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:08,276
-You suck at golf.
-No. It was good.
339
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,514
-Show the camera your hole in the butt.
-Show the hole in the butt.
340
00:23:10,622 --> 00:23:11,782
Thank you, sir.
341
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:19,757
That was great.
342
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,636
Hey, sir. Would you mind
343
00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:28,331
driving a golf ball off my friend's crotch?
344
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:30,034
If we get a long tee.
345
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:32,201
-Can you hit one out of his pee-pee?
-Yeah, I'll try.
346
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:34,679
Oh, man.
347
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,677
-This is golfing.
-Yeah, yeah.
348
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:39,513
-Oh, man.
-Oh, my God.
349
00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:41,415
-Oh, man.
-Try to get your face out of the way.
350
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,114
Just take a deep breath. Easy up, bub.
351
00:23:44,222 --> 00:23:46,122
-All right?
-Oh, my God.
352
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:48,990
All right, sir. Do your worst.
353
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:50,391
Best! Sorry.
354
00:23:55,967 --> 00:23:56,956
Oh, my God!
355
00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:58,763
-He hit it after it fell off.
-Dude, I saw the ball
356
00:23:58,870 --> 00:24:00,337
Iike an inch away from my face.
357
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,100
Yeah, I don't know how he hit it
when it was falling.
358
00:24:02,407 --> 00:24:04,136
-That was great.
-Wow. Good hit.
359
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,005
-Man.
-That was kick-ass.
360
00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:11,849
Please hit the idiots. Pass it on.
361
00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:14,381
-Hit the idiots. Pass it on.
-Please hit the idiots.
362
00:24:14,486 --> 00:24:15,578
Pass it on.
363
00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:17,554
You're going to get hit, midget.
364
00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:18,984
There went one.
365
00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:24,495
Man, these guys are...
366
00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:26,419
Hit them!
367
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:29,933
Look at Wee Man.
368
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,296
What jerks.
369
00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:35,800
Wow.
370
00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:40,806
-He got it right in the dick.
-Was it good?
371
00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:42,243
That's great.
372
00:24:44,082 --> 00:24:47,540
So one of the things that led
to the making of NUMber Two
373
00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:49,347
was when I went to Russia
with the Wildboyz,
374
00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:51,945
and Tremaine saw that
I was pretty excited to shoot.
375
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:55,149
And the first thing I shot in Russia was
when we went to Saint Petersburg
376
00:24:55,260 --> 00:25:01,893
and there was soMe RUssian
sex MUseUm/prostate exaM clinic.
377
00:25:04,069 --> 00:25:07,937
"Oh great! That sounds great!
Yeah, let's go shoot it tomorrow! Great!"
378
00:25:09,641 --> 00:25:12,474
But then when we got there,
they told me what they wanted me to do.
379
00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:14,674
Holy...
380
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,182
You're just going to go face-first.
381
00:25:20,318 --> 00:25:22,752
-You can put off your trousers.
-You want my trousers?
382
00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,947
Yes. And we shall observe you.
383
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:29,518
Come here, and put on your knees.
384
00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:32,356
-Okay. Do I need to lose the boxers?
-Just... Just...
385
00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:35,922
Sometime later. Just... Now you are...
386
00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:38,432
-Okay.
-Knees here.
387
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,528
-Okay.
-Knees here.
388
00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:43,005
And elbows. Elbows here.
389
00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:46,566
And also,
you have to put off your trousers.
390
00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:50,373
-Just enough.
-No Sacagawea.
391
00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:54,384
Just enough. These nurses
may do the massage of prostate.
392
00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:57,216
-What? What?
-Yeah.
393
00:25:57,355 --> 00:26:00,688
So... No, wait a second!
Why is he doing it?
394
00:26:00,792 --> 00:26:03,556
-It's the...
-lt is a special doctor procedure.
395
00:26:03,995 --> 00:26:07,988
It may... Only the doctor can
do the massage of prostate.
396
00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:09,464
Not nurse, but doctor.
397
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:11,664
No, no, no, no.
398
00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:13,829
You guys just did
the fucking Texas switch.
399
00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:15,503
You told me the nurse was going to...
400
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,404
-Rectal examination for prostate...
-I don't care about...
401
00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:21,203
I don't care about a massage
from the doc.
402
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,607
But, it must be done by doctor.
403
00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:26,706
Calm down.
404
00:26:26,818 --> 00:26:30,686
-There's no calming down.
-No, no. There is. You're fine.
405
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:40,054
-That's too far.
-No, no, no.
406
00:26:41,232 --> 00:26:43,928
- All right, he's got to stop. It hurts.
-Oh, my God!
407
00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:46,227
Does it feel good?
408
00:26:46,338 --> 00:26:48,272
-No, it doesn't feel good.
-It's a massage.
409
00:26:51,543 --> 00:26:53,773
Let's... Don't make eye contact.
410
00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:55,846
Tell the doc not to make eye contact.
411
00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:59,212
-Just relax, and try to enjoy it.
-Relax. Try to enjoy, yes?
412
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:02,143
That will do. That will do. That's all.
413
00:27:02,253 --> 00:27:03,720
-That's good.
-That's all.
414
00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:07,051
Oh, my God. He put two digits in you.
415
00:27:07,726 --> 00:27:09,819
-Come on, that felt good, right?
-You are the champion.
416
00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:12,494
-You are.
-Boy, did I get roped into this one.
417
00:27:12,597 --> 00:27:13,928
-You are the champion.
-I won nothing!
418
00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:14,999
You're the champion.
419
00:27:17,002 --> 00:27:18,594
I'm having a great time here.
420
00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:21,865
-Am I okay?
-Okay, okay.
421
00:27:23,908 --> 00:27:27,674
It's okay. There is no big problem,
but some...
422
00:27:27,779 --> 00:27:30,771
Little loose in your prostate.
423
00:27:30,882 --> 00:27:32,179
He's loose.
424
00:27:33,051 --> 00:27:37,010
After I was anally probed
by a device and a full-grown man...
425
00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:38,982
Hello, ma'am.
426
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:41,058
...I...
427
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:43,127
There was an idea for me to go
428
00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:46,129
donate sperm, so they could
you know, assess
429
00:27:46,898 --> 00:27:47,990
my virility.
430
00:27:48,533 --> 00:27:52,560
So, in this room, you are to masturbate,
431
00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:55,328
and to collect your sperm for analysis.
432
00:27:55,573 --> 00:27:58,167
For analysis. Please follow the nurse.
433
00:27:58,543 --> 00:27:59,567
Hi.
434
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,841
How many times have we joked around
about going to a clinic together?
435
00:28:04,482 --> 00:28:06,040
You guys aren't coming in here.
436
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:07,576
You guys are out.
437
00:28:08,086 --> 00:28:09,610
That's a very small cup.
438
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:13,983
Yeah, but... Okay, I'll try to hit it.
439
00:28:18,463 --> 00:28:20,198
And so I went in a room,
and tried to, you know,
440
00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,790
And so I went in a room,
and tried to, you know,
441
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,900
give them the sperm they wanted.
442
00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:27,468
But it's tough when you got
four of your friends outside the door
443
00:28:27,572 --> 00:28:30,541
Iistening to you try to give sperm.
444
00:28:30,909 --> 00:28:32,774
It really blows your concentration.
445
00:28:34,612 --> 00:28:35,579
Quit giggling!
446
00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,882
So, "golden nuggets"...
447
00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,887
I can't even get a fucking hard-on.
448
00:28:44,522 --> 00:28:47,980
And for those of you who don't know,
you can produce sperm with a softie.
449
00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:51,057
Just... You got to pull quick.
450
00:28:55,934 --> 00:28:57,060
So, you did it.
451
00:28:58,002 --> 00:29:00,197
It took forever.
452
00:29:00,338 --> 00:29:02,397
I don't know if you want to...
I kind of missed a little.
453
00:29:02,507 --> 00:29:04,304
Who wants to... Who's...
454
00:29:10,115 --> 00:29:11,742
No, no, come on... Hey! No! No!
455
00:29:15,620 --> 00:29:17,986
Look at him! Kosick's... Look at Kosick!
456
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:23,561
-lt was water.
-Funny joke.
457
00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:27,256
It's about Rick Kosick. It's called
Ricky Did the Boogie-Woogie.
458
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,791
We Met Ricky-Wicky
In the spring of '69
459
00:29:30,902 --> 00:29:32,130
He loved to dance the boogie-woogie
460
00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:33,431
And he boogie-woogied fine
461
00:29:33,538 --> 00:29:35,768
Now it's 1 987
He's a little bit older
462
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:38,570
He's traded his CaMaro
For a criMson Dodge...
463
00:29:42,547 --> 00:29:46,449
He boogie-woogie all night
Boogie...
464
00:29:51,022 --> 00:29:54,116
We went to do this thing
where Steve-O was going to get
465
00:29:54,859 --> 00:29:56,918
a condoM bit oUt of his ass,
466
00:29:57,262 --> 00:30:00,561
froM between his bUtt cheeks,
by a rattlesnake.
467
00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:04,323
A crazy one, too. The thing was gnarly,
and Mad and Mean.
468
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,831
These are the fangs of the eastern
diamondback rattlesnake.
469
00:30:06,938 --> 00:30:11,034
-This is what injects the venom into you.
-There goes a little more.
470
00:30:13,578 --> 00:30:14,670
-That's great.
-Ready, Steve-O?
471
00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:20,009
Don't fuck with the eastern
diamondback rattlesnake
472
00:30:20,118 --> 00:30:21,710
without wearing a condom.
473
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:25,347
I'm Steve-O,
and this is the Rattlesnake Salad Toss.
474
00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:35,266
Move your ass that way.
You got it. There you go.
475
00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:39,797
Come back. Ass back. Ass back.
476
00:30:40,238 --> 00:30:43,139
-Back up.
-Why am I backing up to a rattlesnake?
477
00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:46,143
This is an experiment.
478
00:30:46,244 --> 00:30:49,213
It's so important to get a rattlesnake
to bite something out of my butt!
479
00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:53,077
All right. But you have to put
the condom towards the snake.
480
00:30:55,053 --> 00:30:56,281
That was nice.
481
00:30:56,487 --> 00:30:58,785
Bend down. Bend over. Bend over.
482
00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:08,593
He's still got the condom in his mouth.
483
00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:10,590
So after Jackass: The Movie,
484
00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,466
we started making a show called
Wildboyz with Chris and Steve-O,
485
00:31:13,571 --> 00:31:16,005
and we shot soMe of the Most aMazing
stUff we've ever Made.
486
00:31:16,307 --> 00:31:18,832
And so one of the ideas
with Number Two was to
487
00:31:18,943 --> 00:31:21,935
recreate some of the best things
we shot for Wildboyz.
488
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:23,843
Unfortunately, it didn't always work out.
489
00:31:24,916 --> 00:31:28,374
I'm Chris Pontius, and my day
is about to take a turn for the worse.
490
00:31:28,753 --> 00:31:29,720
Here's why.
491
00:31:29,821 --> 00:31:33,120
Chris, a snapping turtle's about
to bite your nose.
492
00:31:35,693 --> 00:31:37,684
Oh, Jesus...
493
00:31:37,795 --> 00:31:40,263
-Well, that fucking sucked.
-You got it good.
494
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,492
Oh my God! You got it so good.
495
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,563
Dude, you're like
Rudolph the Red-Nosed...
496
00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:45,727
Reindeer!
497
00:31:48,373 --> 00:31:49,931
That's so beautiful.
498
00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:51,736
T-nigs, that snapping turtle
tore him up, huh?
499
00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:55,210
Oh yeah! Guess what? If I was going
to do the snapping turtle thing,
500
00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:57,575
I wouldn't do it on my nose.
501
00:31:57,682 --> 00:31:59,240
Where would you do it?
On your pecker?
502
00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:00,749
Absolutely.
503
00:32:01,953 --> 00:32:04,319
So what became of that?
Did we even air that on the movie?
504
00:32:04,422 --> 00:32:06,549
-Or are we putting that in 2.5?
-Yeah.
505
00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:08,659
Jesus! That...
506
00:32:09,894 --> 00:32:10,883
All right.
507
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:14,993
One of the most successful places
we ever went with Wildboyz was lndia.
508
00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:17,598
Jeff wanted to go back to lndia because,
509
00:32:17,702 --> 00:32:20,466
I don't know, that's where he foUnd
his spirit aniMal or soMething.
510
00:32:20,571 --> 00:32:21,868
I don't know.
511
00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:23,406
India was awesome.
512
00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:28,844
It is a beautiful country filled with
rich culture and a wonderful heritage.
513
00:32:30,081 --> 00:32:31,048
No, I hated it,
514
00:32:31,149 --> 00:32:34,141
and I'm pretty sure I'm the fattest
person, ever, in the history of lndia.
515
00:32:36,154 --> 00:32:40,420
The production company got
about 20 other little people together.
516
00:32:40,525 --> 00:32:41,514
Hello, there.
517
00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:43,958
They probably didn't know
what they were gonna be doing.
518
00:32:44,062 --> 00:32:45,029
What's up? Wee Man.
519
00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:48,121
The next thing you know,
they're all getting painted blue
520
00:32:48,232 --> 00:32:50,359
and wearing orange wigs.
521
00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:55,500
And it was great. I've never been
with that Many little people,
522
00:32:55,606 --> 00:32:57,699
filMing one big thing at once,
523
00:32:58,076 --> 00:32:59,043
and it was awesome.
524
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:02,405
We shot with the man with
the longest fingernails in the world.
525
00:33:03,181 --> 00:33:07,584
And he's been growing these things
for like, I don't know, 50 years.
526
00:33:07,685 --> 00:33:09,846
And he carries theM aroUnd...
He pUts, like, a bag over theM
527
00:33:09,954 --> 00:33:12,320
that alMost looks like
he's got a rifle in his hand.
528
00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:14,357
And so, he agreed to shoot with Us.
529
00:33:14,459 --> 00:33:16,324
BUt he didn't really know
what Jackass was,
530
00:33:16,427 --> 00:33:18,327
and we didn't really know
what to do with him.
531
00:33:20,331 --> 00:33:21,889
It's Miller time.
532
00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,032
Oh, God.
533
00:33:30,141 --> 00:33:32,666
Oh, they're coming right off
his fingertips.
534
00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:38,138
He probably hasn't washed those things
in 50 years, O.
535
00:33:46,224 --> 00:33:47,191
Jesus!
536
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,427
Steve-O, I told you no!
It offends the ladies!
537
00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:02,095
No, wait! Where you going?
You can't leave the set!
538
00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:05,874
I'm sorry, ladies.
539
00:34:06,611 --> 00:34:08,169
Thank you, Shridhar.
540
00:34:09,113 --> 00:34:10,580
Thank you, Shridhar.
541
00:34:11,482 --> 00:34:12,972
So we're in lndia, and I decide,
542
00:34:13,084 --> 00:34:18,112
"All right. Well, let's sort of combine
all the lndian stereotypes into one bit."
543
00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:20,349
So, we were like, "All right.
Let's get a bed of nails.
544
00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:23,052
"And let's get soMe snake charMers,
and, oh, shit, let's get an elephant,
545
00:34:23,161 --> 00:34:24,321
"pUt the elephant in the backgroUnd. "
546
00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:27,398
And so, one by one,
I'm going through each cast member.
547
00:34:27,498 --> 00:34:29,557
I'm like, "Hey, Steve-O, you wanna lay
on the bed of nails?"
548
00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:32,898
"Oh, no, dude, I did that for Wildboyz.
I don't wanna do that."
549
00:34:33,004 --> 00:34:36,599
Basically, it gets down to Ehren.
Ehren's always the last guy.
550
00:34:36,707 --> 00:34:40,871
And this one gets down to Ehren.
And he says no.
551
00:34:40,978 --> 00:34:43,640
And I'm like, "Ehren, please,
you're the last guy I can ask.
552
00:34:43,748 --> 00:34:44,976
"Just come over here and look at it."
553
00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,916
Go ahead and stick it up your ass.
554
00:34:48,019 --> 00:34:52,012
Dude, look at this. A rusty nail in lndia,
and he wants me to lay on that shit. No!
555
00:34:52,123 --> 00:34:55,388
-Why don't you sit on it and show us?
-I sat on it!
556
00:34:55,493 --> 00:34:59,987
And Trip sits on it, and he fucking gets
punctured with a rusty nail!
557
00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:01,258
Through his fucking hand!
558
00:35:01,365 --> 00:35:03,526
Tetanus here in lndia.
Are you kidding me?
559
00:35:03,634 --> 00:35:04,601
Fuck off!
560
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:07,166
Crazy, dude. I ain't doing that shit.
561
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:08,997
Bullshit.
562
00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:15,373
I'm Danger Ehren, and this is
the bed of nails, with snakes.
563
00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:18,708
You got it, Dange.
564
00:35:19,484 --> 00:35:22,749
Don't even worry about the cobras, man.
Chris has your back.
565
00:35:24,822 --> 00:35:26,483
-I do?
-Yeah.
566
00:35:30,895 --> 00:35:33,420
You got it, dude. This is... Just...
567
00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:35,354
Nice and even.
568
00:35:35,466 --> 00:35:37,434
This feels like it's gonna go
right up my ass.
569
00:35:37,535 --> 00:35:38,627
No, it isn't. Put your back...
570
00:35:39,003 --> 00:35:41,767
It's a bed, Danger.
You're supposed to lay on it.
571
00:35:42,340 --> 00:35:43,174
-Okay.
-Dude, right on your legs.
572
00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:44,072
-Okay.
-Dude, right on your legs.
573
00:35:44,175 --> 00:35:45,335
On your legs.
574
00:35:45,443 --> 00:35:46,876
And then this one.
575
00:35:47,578 --> 00:35:48,602
Hold on!
576
00:35:48,713 --> 00:35:50,544
The more you spread your weight out,
the less it's gonna hurt.
577
00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:52,343
-Yeah, that's what you got to do.
-Put your leg down.
578
00:35:52,450 --> 00:35:53,542
Hold on!
579
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:55,209
What don't you understand
about "put your leg down"?
580
00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:57,787
I'm on a bed of fucking nails, man!
581
00:35:58,956 --> 00:36:00,014
Fuck!
582
00:36:00,691 --> 00:36:03,057
Now on your turban, too.
583
00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:05,721
Put those motherfuckers on!
584
00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:08,621
Oh, shit!
585
00:36:08,733 --> 00:36:10,325
Relax, Ehren. They're just cobras.
586
00:36:10,434 --> 00:36:13,494
Oh, God. No, not between the legs!
587
00:36:13,604 --> 00:36:16,004
Oh! Fuck, man! No fucking way!
588
00:36:18,576 --> 00:36:22,410
There's a fucking snake on my chest,
589
00:36:23,047 --> 00:36:24,878
and I'm on nails right now.
590
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:28,574
-Are you sad?
-I'm not happy.
591
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:33,422
-But you like the music.
-Oh, this fucking hurts!
592
00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:39,419
Oh, shit. Shit.
593
00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:43,830
Get me off of here. Get me off of here.
I'm serious. Please.
594
00:36:44,502 --> 00:36:47,994
Please. I don't care... Please. Please.
595
00:36:49,106 --> 00:36:53,770
Jeff, get me the fuck off
of this bed of fucking nails right now.
596
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:56,244
-Take the snakes off!
-All right, fine.
597
00:36:57,348 --> 00:36:58,440
Please...
598
00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:01,616
I'm so over this right now. Please.
599
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,050
This is not fun!
600
00:37:03,154 --> 00:37:06,681
Seriously, I need to stop. Now!
601
00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:07,917
Please.
602
00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:10,690
-All right!
-Fuck!
603
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:11,987
Fuck!
604
00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:15,899
-Want to do one more song?
-Wait... Wait, no.
605
00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:18,699
You got it, dude.
606
00:37:19,337 --> 00:37:20,565
All right, a round of applause.
607
00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:23,003
Wait, wait, wait. I still need help.
608
00:37:25,209 --> 00:37:26,335
-All right, dude.
-You do need help.
609
00:37:26,444 --> 00:37:28,605
You're gonna have to pull me up now.
610
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,480
Seriously, don't drop me or anything.
611
00:37:31,582 --> 00:37:32,640
Oh, look at that.
612
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:34,342
Holy moly!
613
00:37:35,353 --> 00:37:37,913
And remember, safety first.
614
00:37:39,557 --> 00:37:41,525
Jesus. I thought we were gonna
finally get rid of him.
615
00:37:41,626 --> 00:37:43,526
-All right!
-Yeah!
616
00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:51,728
The ultimate failed bit that we shot
for NUMber Two
617
00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:53,633
was this bit that we shot for Wildboyz
618
00:37:53,738 --> 00:37:57,435
where we got this gold
froM this tribe called the Aghoris.
619
00:37:57,808 --> 00:38:00,368
The Aghoris are
this religious sect in lndia
620
00:38:00,478 --> 00:38:03,413
that believe
they can reach enlightenMent
621
00:38:03,514 --> 00:38:08,110
by throwing theMselves
into all things that are, like,
622
00:38:08,552 --> 00:38:09,644
bad, basically.
623
00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:11,915
They eat fucking human flesh.
624
00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:14,787
They steal dead bodies oUt of graves
and eat theM.
625
00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:17,884
They want to antiqUe yoU
with fUcking creMated hUMan ash.
626
00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:22,323
They really are a handful. Like, they'll
try to bite you, and suck your blood,
627
00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:25,527
and throw their pee on yoU,
and all this terrible stUff.
628
00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:27,866
Nobody went into it with a good attitude.
629
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:29,064
Actually, nobody even went into it,
630
00:38:29,173 --> 00:38:31,869
except for me and Pontius
and Dave England.
631
00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:36,340
We saw these fucked-up dudes on TV
and we decided we had to meet them.
632
00:38:36,447 --> 00:38:37,414
Again.
633
00:38:40,584 --> 00:38:43,815
So the next thing I know,
I'M in a Wildboyz sandwich.
634
00:38:43,954 --> 00:38:46,149
I fUcking had this dUMbass shirt.
635
00:38:46,257 --> 00:38:48,225
I looked like a fUcking toUrist,
and I got flip-flops on,
636
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:49,293
and I'M like, "What the fUck?"
637
00:38:49,393 --> 00:38:55,457
They were all these fucking creepy,
shitty, spastic, skinny Aghoris.
638
00:39:07,545 --> 00:39:09,945
They were oUt of control when we
filMed with theM on Wildboyz.
639
00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:13,039
But they obviously knew it was a movie
this time around.
640
00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:15,618
It's like they really tried to step it up.
641
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:18,712
Were those the same dudes
from Wildboyz?
642
00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:25,021
One of the gUys takes oUt a knife
and he jUst starts slicing Up his leg.
643
00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:29,789
And I was like, "Wow, that's cool."
Well, it's not really cool.
644
00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,266
And he coMes over to Us
with all the blood and, like...
645
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,736
God. Yeah, we were like, "FUck this. "
646
00:39:34,839 --> 00:39:37,603
-Watch it, Dave! Watch it, Dave!
-Whoa! Whoa!
647
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,537
Don't, man!
648
00:39:41,011 --> 00:39:45,004
Dude, seriously, I have Aghori-phobia
and I can't handle this.
649
00:39:45,783 --> 00:39:49,241
Okay, what have you got? Guys, please.
He's got blood on his thumb.
650
00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:50,713
Yeah, that's...
651
00:39:50,821 --> 00:39:53,619
-No, no.
-All right! Back to... Everything's cool.
652
00:39:53,791 --> 00:39:55,759
Yeah, let's check some of that...
653
00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:59,559
Be very fucking careful, man.
Go drink that blood or some shit.
654
00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:01,824
Johnny, I'm gonna
fucking smack someone.
655
00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:06,092
Dave England's freaked oUt, and...
We all were. We were like...
656
00:40:06,470 --> 00:40:08,961
It was just a complete disaster.
657
00:40:09,073 --> 00:40:12,236
And then the next thing yoU know,
which I think is kind of weak,
658
00:40:12,343 --> 00:40:16,575
one of the gUrUs jUst pees in a cUp
and he starts drinking it.
659
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,307
And we're like, "DUde!
Drinking piss! That... "
660
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,283
Fucking put it in a snow cone,
then maybe we'll talk.
661
00:40:22,186 --> 00:40:27,180
Welcome to the DVD extras section
of Jackass NUMber Two.
662
00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:28,349
Oh, my God.
663
00:40:28,659 --> 00:40:31,958
Yeah, so the Aghoris didn't work,
and I decided at that point,
664
00:40:32,062 --> 00:40:35,293
"All right, we're not shooting any more
Wildboyz bits for Jackass. "
665
00:40:38,068 --> 00:40:39,126
What's happening here today, Daniel?
666
00:40:39,236 --> 00:40:41,898
Well, we're gonna take this
40-millimeter grenade launcher,
667
00:40:42,006 --> 00:40:44,873
and put this specialty impact munition
called a REACT lmpact.
668
00:40:44,975 --> 00:40:48,741
REACT stands for "Radiated Energy
Air-Cushioned Trajectile."
669
00:40:48,846 --> 00:40:50,575
It looks like Bam's dick.
670
00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:53,243
Show it!
Come on, pull it out, pull it out.
671
00:40:53,350 --> 00:40:55,147
-Come on.
-Come on, let's see it.
672
00:40:55,252 --> 00:40:58,050
-It's the same thing!
-How would you know?
673
00:40:58,522 --> 00:40:59,489
Look!
674
00:41:02,893 --> 00:41:04,451
You... Screw you guys!
675
00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:06,996
Bam can have that one.
I've got a new one.
676
00:41:08,399 --> 00:41:10,765
So we're gonna shoot this
at about 60 feet,
677
00:41:10,868 --> 00:41:14,599
and it should make a pretty nice impact.
678
00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:16,036
-What're we gonna shoot?
-You.
679
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,472
You're gonna get shot with Bam's dick
in the ass.
680
00:41:18,576 --> 00:41:20,544
-Assume the position.
-Let's go.
681
00:41:22,079 --> 00:41:24,946
Are you ready for the first laugh
when this happens?
682
00:41:38,596 --> 00:41:40,325
Where'd it hit him?
683
00:41:41,098 --> 00:41:42,793
-lt hit him in the butt!
-Where'd it hit him at?
684
00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:44,561
Oh, yeah, it hit me.
685
00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,863
-Right in the middle.
-But where was he hit?
686
00:41:46,971 --> 00:41:48,165
-Let's see.
-I'm not fucking with you.
687
00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:49,432
Yeah, we're not touching anything.
688
00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:50,529
-Where?
-Right there.
689
00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:51,733
Oh, right, underneath...
690
00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:54,174
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
691
00:41:55,579 --> 00:41:57,410
How did BaM's dick feel on yoUr ass?
692
00:41:57,515 --> 00:42:00,382
Oh, fUck. I ain't into that,
back-door shenanigans.
693
00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:04,582
-Where'd it hit you?
-Right there.
694
00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:07,418
-Oh, my...
-Oh, look at it now.
695
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,083
Oh, dude, that looks awful.
696
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,025
Oh, my God.
697
00:42:12,963 --> 00:42:14,954
Holy God.
698
00:42:17,768 --> 00:42:18,735
Oh, God.
699
00:42:22,773 --> 00:42:25,298
Oh, my God,
it's right next to your bean bag.
700
00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:28,077
Oh, my God.
701
00:42:28,178 --> 00:42:29,975
Did you have your bean bag out
when he shot?
702
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,538
-Fuck, yeah.
-That's insane!
703
00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:38,154
-How're you doing today?
-I'm not stoked on the whole situation.
704
00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:39,984
-Why?
-Alligators piss me off.
705
00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:43,287
And then there's fucking barbed wire
above it. That sucks.
706
00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:45,157
And then we're going
in this tiny little hole
707
00:42:45,262 --> 00:42:47,287
with pigs that're gonna shit and piss.
708
00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:48,365
That sucks.
709
00:42:48,465 --> 00:42:52,265
Then we go through that, which is...
Gonna get hit by paintballs,
710
00:42:52,369 --> 00:42:54,064
by professional paintballers.
711
00:42:54,171 --> 00:42:55,160
That sucks.
712
00:42:55,272 --> 00:42:57,365
Then we have to drink a spittoon.
713
00:42:57,474 --> 00:42:59,533
And, like, I already have
a barfing problem.
714
00:42:59,643 --> 00:43:03,272
And then I'm gonna do that again
for sure, 'cause that's disgusting.
715
00:43:04,648 --> 00:43:06,673
This is the Cajun Obstacle Course!
716
00:43:06,784 --> 00:43:09,651
On your mark, set get, go!
717
00:43:35,245 --> 00:43:37,611
-Oh, shit!
-Go, go, go, go!
718
00:43:45,222 --> 00:43:47,053
Go, go, go, go!
719
00:43:47,658 --> 00:43:48,750
Oh, God.
720
00:44:19,089 --> 00:44:21,057
I didn't even touch it! I mean...
721
00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:23,425
Fuck it. I lose, man.
722
00:44:23,894 --> 00:44:25,156
Who drank it first?
723
00:44:25,262 --> 00:44:26,320
Bam did.
724
00:44:26,430 --> 00:44:29,160
All right. And the winner is Bam!
725
00:44:32,036 --> 00:44:33,663
Oh, right on the spit!
726
00:44:35,439 --> 00:44:37,270
Man, right on the spit.
727
00:44:38,642 --> 00:44:40,633
-Hold on.
-Oh, my God.
728
00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:43,643
-Jeez.
-Just get fucking naked, Wee Man.
729
00:44:43,747 --> 00:44:45,840
Today is the worst day of my life.
730
00:44:46,316 --> 00:44:48,011
Throw a snake on that guy.
731
00:44:52,956 --> 00:44:55,481
I always thoUght My whole life that
Most people coUld shit on coMMand.
732
00:44:55,592 --> 00:44:57,583
I didn't think that was, like, a real...
733
00:44:57,695 --> 00:45:00,186
Some kind of quality
that only certain people had.
734
00:45:00,297 --> 00:45:03,789
I just thought... It's hard to pee
on command, pee in front of people,
735
00:45:03,901 --> 00:45:05,266
but for me,
736
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,860
I can just whip my pants down and
take a shit pretty much any old time.
737
00:45:13,744 --> 00:45:15,735
I've made many people
puke from shitting.
738
00:45:15,846 --> 00:45:19,179
And I'm proud. And I consider myself
a professional shitter,
739
00:45:19,283 --> 00:45:20,841
which I think there's very few of.
740
00:45:20,951 --> 00:45:22,680
I'm sure there are some others
out there,
741
00:45:22,786 --> 00:45:24,549
but can you name one?
742
00:45:25,255 --> 00:45:26,222
Probably not.
743
00:45:27,591 --> 00:45:30,321
-Very nice...
-That's fucked up.
744
00:45:30,427 --> 00:45:33,225
-Are you really giving me a pee stain?
-A little bit. Jeff wanted one.
745
00:45:33,330 --> 00:45:36,629
Oh, that is sad. I have no dignity left.
746
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:41,102
So you, in NUMber Two,
were a little old lady.
747
00:45:42,172 --> 00:45:43,935
What was it like, being a little old lady?
748
00:45:44,041 --> 00:45:47,204
I think I felt vUlnerable as an old lady,
749
00:45:47,678 --> 00:45:52,775
both... Like, sexUally, people looking
at My breasts, I felt vUlnerable,
750
00:45:52,883 --> 00:45:57,115
and also, I felt like my bones
were more brittle,
751
00:45:57,221 --> 00:45:58,745
and something
could happen to me bad.
752
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,983
Hi. Have we met before?
753
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:03,688
-No.
-I don't want to meet.
754
00:46:03,794 --> 00:46:05,887
-Do you like sex?
-Hell, no!
755
00:46:06,396 --> 00:46:07,886
That's my boyfriend. Leave him alone.
756
00:46:07,998 --> 00:46:10,193
Oh, okay. All right.
757
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,297
I loved shooting Old Man.
758
00:46:14,171 --> 00:46:17,004
You had to get up super early and
you get three hours of makeup,
759
00:46:17,107 --> 00:46:20,804
but it's so fun, 'cause I can go out
in the street and prank people
760
00:46:20,911 --> 00:46:24,039
Iike I did when the show began,
and no one recognizes me.
761
00:46:25,215 --> 00:46:27,046
No one recognizes this.
762
00:46:27,551 --> 00:46:29,985
It's a blessing and a burden.
763
00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:32,149
Hi. My name is lrving Zisman.
764
00:46:32,256 --> 00:46:34,588
This is my good friend Clyde Singleton,
765
00:46:34,691 --> 00:46:36,591
and today we're going to
take a test drive.
766
00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:38,762
Yeah.
767
00:46:41,565 --> 00:46:42,532
-Hi.
-Hello.
768
00:46:43,734 --> 00:46:46,328
-How're you, son?
-Are you here to see Daniel?
769
00:46:46,436 --> 00:46:47,664
-Yes, sir.
-I'm Daniel. Nice to meet you.
770
00:46:47,771 --> 00:46:49,534
Oh, hi, Daniel. I'm sorry.
How're you, son?
771
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,107
I'm fine, thank you.
772
00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:54,842
Oh, she's a pretty one.
773
00:46:54,945 --> 00:46:57,709
-Can I take it for a spin?
-Of course, of course.
774
00:46:58,048 --> 00:46:59,982
-Here you are.
-Oh, thank you.
775
00:47:03,787 --> 00:47:05,778
-Starts right up.
-Very good.
776
00:47:05,889 --> 00:47:06,913
Where are you from?
777
00:47:07,024 --> 00:47:09,822
Born and raised in Los Angeles,
right here.
778
00:47:09,927 --> 00:47:12,555
-All right.
-Never been anywhere else.
779
00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:14,893
-It's a lovely city.
-lt is, it's great.
780
00:47:14,998 --> 00:47:17,398
-Everything you need, close by.
-Yes.
781
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,492
Watch out, watch out, watch out!
782
00:47:21,939 --> 00:47:23,133
Stop the car.
783
00:47:24,308 --> 00:47:26,538
What the fuck is going on?
784
00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:28,440
Just... Just stop the car, sir.
785
00:47:28,545 --> 00:47:30,308
What the fuck are you guys doing?
786
00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:32,109
-I'm sorry.
-Let's get the foot off the pedal.
787
00:47:32,216 --> 00:47:34,013
-I'm serious!
-Hey, hey, hey.
788
00:47:35,452 --> 00:47:38,819
-You just smashed my cart!
-I'm sorry. He's an old man on...
789
00:47:39,489 --> 00:47:43,016
-What am I supposed to do?
-Score one for Dixie!
790
00:47:43,460 --> 00:47:46,327
You just let Bob Barker hit my cart!
791
00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:47,727
What're you doing?
792
00:47:47,831 --> 00:47:50,322
It's not me, sir. I'm sorry. I didn't...
793
00:47:51,501 --> 00:47:53,128
-I'm shocked, too, right now.
-Oh, my God.
794
00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:56,001
-What did you say, boy?
-Look at this! You let this dude drive?
795
00:47:56,106 --> 00:47:59,735
Come on, dude! You let him drive.
You let him drive the car.
796
00:48:00,310 --> 00:48:02,278
Can I get some reparation cans?
797
00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,779
I had no control. You saw what
happened after he slammed.
798
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:05,906
I'm really sorry.
799
00:48:06,016 --> 00:48:07,745
I got chili on my nose!
800
00:48:07,985 --> 00:48:10,044
This one bit we shot,
The Construction Site.
801
00:48:10,153 --> 00:48:12,815
I wrote it...
I wanted to do The Deconstruction.
802
00:48:12,923 --> 00:48:14,254
You know, I'd go to a construction site,
803
00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:16,622
and whatever they were working on,
I woUld fUck it Up.
804
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,993
If they're hanging drywall,
I knock it down.
805
00:48:22,032 --> 00:48:22,999
Shit.
806
00:48:27,504 --> 00:48:31,167
If they're laying out floors,
I bust the floor.
807
00:48:31,275 --> 00:48:33,243
Where'd you get this shit from?
808
00:48:35,245 --> 00:48:36,735
Oh, fuck.
809
00:48:37,547 --> 00:48:38,514
There he is now!
810
00:48:39,783 --> 00:48:41,944
-We had a really good spot...
-Oh, shit.
811
00:48:42,052 --> 00:48:45,852
...and I walk in,
and everyone's on their lunch break.
812
00:48:46,723 --> 00:48:49,658
So no one's wanting to deal
with an old man,
813
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,888
so I really have to work
to get their attention.
814
00:48:58,735 --> 00:49:01,169
Hey, there's a bathroom
outside over here.
815
00:49:04,675 --> 00:49:05,642
So you really peed?
816
00:49:05,742 --> 00:49:07,505
Oh, yeah. I peed a lot!
817
00:49:08,111 --> 00:49:10,909
I mean, they were on lunch.
I had to do something.
818
00:49:11,348 --> 00:49:14,681
I coUldn't pUll a Dave England,
'caUse I don't have that gift.
819
00:49:16,853 --> 00:49:19,515
Hey, sir, excuse me,
you can't do that in here.
820
00:49:19,823 --> 00:49:21,222
There's a bathroom down there.
821
00:49:21,325 --> 00:49:23,953
Oh, thank you, son, I'm done now.
822
00:49:24,194 --> 00:49:26,185
Okay, we're gonna go outside.
We're gonna go outside.
823
00:49:26,296 --> 00:49:27,695
We are outside!
824
00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:29,993
We're gonna go outside, sir,
we're gonna go outside.
825
00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:31,897
We're gonna go outside. Come on.
826
00:49:32,002 --> 00:49:33,492
-I'm coming.
-Come on.
827
00:49:34,104 --> 00:49:36,538
Whoa! Whoa! God damn it.
828
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:39,139
Let's go outside.
829
00:49:39,476 --> 00:49:41,967
-Come on, let's go.
-Hey... Hey, let go of me!
830
00:49:42,346 --> 00:49:43,836
Whoa! Wow.
831
00:49:47,684 --> 00:49:50,016
God damn it.
You don't got to manhandle me.
832
00:49:55,225 --> 00:49:58,991
-Oh, I bet you fellows like this, huh?
-We don't want you to get hurt.
833
00:49:59,129 --> 00:50:01,188
Well, somebody's gonna get hurt
and it ain't gonna be me,
834
00:50:01,298 --> 00:50:03,163
you keep manhandling me like this.
835
00:50:03,266 --> 00:50:04,824
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
836
00:50:07,504 --> 00:50:09,233
Oh, my back.
837
00:50:09,506 --> 00:50:10,768
Oh, now...
838
00:50:10,907 --> 00:50:11,874
Big man.
839
00:50:12,442 --> 00:50:13,409
Big man!
840
00:50:14,978 --> 00:50:15,945
Punks.
841
00:50:20,050 --> 00:50:21,244
What is this?
842
00:50:25,622 --> 00:50:27,180
Why do you have a camera on you?
843
00:50:27,290 --> 00:50:28,257
Oh, fuck.
844
00:50:29,192 --> 00:50:31,922
The impression I got from watching
the whole crew work today
845
00:50:32,029 --> 00:50:33,997
was that you guys
had never shot before.
846
00:50:34,398 --> 00:50:36,298
We had Jeffrey Ross with us,
847
00:50:36,433 --> 00:50:40,369
who is a comedian
who loves to just tear people apart.
848
00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:43,667
So it was a great idea to put him
right behind me in the van.
849
00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:45,036
Tremaine loves... He's...
850
00:50:45,142 --> 00:50:48,839
First of all, he has a cell phone
in one hand, an earpiece, a walkie,
851
00:50:48,945 --> 00:50:51,880
and he's driving. And he's directing!
852
00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:54,950
Jump up and down. Yeah.
853
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,883
Wait. Mike! Mike! Mike!
854
00:50:56,987 --> 00:50:58,477
What am I gonna do, dude?
855
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:01,455
You should have moved it
like a pickup basketball game.
856
00:51:02,325 --> 00:51:06,785
Who's around? Let's see who's around.
Maybe we'll get some good shit.
857
00:51:08,632 --> 00:51:11,226
It's like watching a bUnch
of retards play poker in the dark.
858
00:51:13,870 --> 00:51:16,202
BUt at the end
we got the footage we needed.
859
00:51:16,306 --> 00:51:19,036
I mean, there was really
no rhyme or reason...
860
00:51:19,142 --> 00:51:22,339
Yeah, you can cut that together
into a DVD extra.
861
00:51:24,548 --> 00:51:25,708
Ouch!
862
00:51:26,983 --> 00:51:29,315
Are you really peeing? Oh, my God.
863
00:51:29,419 --> 00:51:32,479
-ls it working? Am I hitting anything?
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
864
00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:33,681
Oh, my God!
865
00:51:35,258 --> 00:51:37,488
It hurts to... I'm just gonna save it.
866
00:51:40,230 --> 00:51:43,063
-You fucking asshole!
-Oh, my God! Here! Here, here!
867
00:51:45,402 --> 00:51:48,496
No, no! Let go! Oh, no, no!
My good scarf!
868
00:51:49,072 --> 00:51:51,472
-My piss reeks.
-Oh, God.
869
00:51:53,210 --> 00:51:55,371
We're here with BMX legend
Mat Hoffman,
870
00:51:55,479 --> 00:51:58,209
and this is Mini Motorcycle Mayhem!
871
00:53:07,117 --> 00:53:08,550
Sorry, bro.
872
00:53:08,652 --> 00:53:11,416
I didn't see you there.
I thought you went over to produce.
873
00:53:11,521 --> 00:53:14,319
Dave! You knocked out my tooth again!
874
00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:15,391
Sorry, dude...
875
00:53:16,726 --> 00:53:19,991
We keep trying to get a good bit
with me dressed as a baby.
876
00:53:20,964 --> 00:53:23,524
And it's not happening.
I don't know what it is.
877
00:53:23,633 --> 00:53:24,827
We filmed this atrocity
878
00:53:24,935 --> 00:53:28,371
where we thought it'd be funny
if Wee Man was born.
879
00:53:28,471 --> 00:53:32,407
So we covered hiM with toMato saUce
and dressed hiM Up as a baby.
880
00:53:33,944 --> 00:53:36,071
This is already fucking bullshit.
881
00:53:38,148 --> 00:53:40,912
-All right, Tremaine.
-Stop it. You need to be there.
882
00:53:41,017 --> 00:53:43,918
We had the lady
that made me disappear.
883
00:53:44,387 --> 00:53:47,117
We tried to have her sit on Me.
884
00:53:47,257 --> 00:53:50,317
And then have her giving birth
to a Wee Man.
885
00:53:50,460 --> 00:53:52,792
Full speed once it's on
and then you get out of the way.
886
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:55,194
-Oh, God.
-No! No! I can't breathe!
887
00:53:55,298 --> 00:53:58,165
Hold on, I can't breathe.
I can't breathe. Seriously.
888
00:53:58,268 --> 00:54:01,533
Up! Up! Help her!
Get her off my fucking ankle!
889
00:54:01,638 --> 00:54:03,230
It's in the ground, dude.
890
00:54:04,808 --> 00:54:07,936
No, dude, I can't do this, dude.
It's fucking...
891
00:54:08,645 --> 00:54:13,480
And it just... It was bad. It was horrible,
and it didn't happen.
892
00:54:13,650 --> 00:54:16,710
-This one, I'm ashamed.
-Okay, watch out.
893
00:54:16,820 --> 00:54:18,412
I'm just ashamed.
894
00:54:18,521 --> 00:54:21,081
In NUMber Two, we were obsessed
with doing a thing called The Poof,
895
00:54:21,191 --> 00:54:23,056
where you could see a fart.
896
00:54:23,193 --> 00:54:27,721
You had to put powder up the ass,
to fart and see it.
897
00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:30,129
But no one could fart
when they were supposed to.
898
00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:33,197
-I'm Johnny Knoxville.
-And I'm Wee Man.
899
00:54:33,336 --> 00:54:35,736
And this is The Poof.
900
00:54:41,077 --> 00:54:42,066
-All right.
-Oh, yeah?
901
00:54:42,178 --> 00:54:43,907
Yeah, right there.
902
00:54:44,014 --> 00:54:47,973
Baby needs a little powder.
903
00:54:51,588 --> 00:54:55,752
Oh, baby needs a lot of powder.
It's really wet back there.
904
00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:58,487
Okay, this is completely between bros.
This is for the bit.
905
00:54:58,595 --> 00:55:01,291
-I'm just going to spread them a little.
-Wee, turn your head.
906
00:55:01,398 --> 00:55:03,628
-Okay.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait! Let it die down.
907
00:55:03,733 --> 00:55:06,031
Not yet. Let it die down.
908
00:55:07,137 --> 00:55:08,126
-Okay.
-Ready?
909
00:55:08,305 --> 00:55:09,272
I might shit.
910
00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:13,809
-I might shit. Hold on.
-Wait, wait, wait.
911
00:55:13,910 --> 00:55:15,605
Wait, I'm supposed to get
enough in there to, like...
912
00:55:15,712 --> 00:55:16,679
Okay, here goes, here it goes.
913
00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:20,210
I'm afraid I might shit, seriously.
914
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,148
God damn!
915
00:55:23,019 --> 00:55:25,283
No, that's not the goal!
916
00:55:25,388 --> 00:55:29,188
What? Did baby make a boom-boom?
917
00:55:29,893 --> 00:55:32,521
Did the baby... You little rascal!
918
00:55:32,629 --> 00:55:33,596
God!
919
00:55:39,469 --> 00:55:40,458
I told you.
920
00:55:40,570 --> 00:55:43,004
Baby doesn't need
to make a boom-boom!
921
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:48,838
Now who wants to change
baby's diaper?
922
00:55:50,513 --> 00:55:52,777
You see that?
923
00:55:55,452 --> 00:55:58,285
I told you I had to poop.
924
00:55:59,823 --> 00:56:02,451
So we really couldn't get anyone to fart
on command. We kept trying,
925
00:56:02,559 --> 00:56:05,289
until finally
Knoxville came up with the idea
926
00:56:05,395 --> 00:56:08,660
to force some air
up one of the cast members' asses.
927
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:10,999
Poor Mike Judge.
928
00:56:11,101 --> 00:56:14,969
I call him and ask him will he be
in the movie, and he's like, "Sure!"
929
00:56:15,338 --> 00:56:18,307
"So, well, come by my house tomorrow.
We're shooting a few things."
930
00:56:18,408 --> 00:56:20,399
And boy, did he walk in
at the wrong time.
931
00:56:20,810 --> 00:56:21,902
He makes...
932
00:56:22,979 --> 00:56:25,948
Like, King of the Hill,
he made Beavis and BUtt-Head, and...
933
00:56:26,049 --> 00:56:28,916
He got pulled into it.
I don't know what his role in it was.
934
00:56:29,018 --> 00:56:31,179
Just being there,
you're guilty by association.
935
00:56:31,988 --> 00:56:33,182
You know, once you're there,
936
00:56:33,289 --> 00:56:36,747
I guess you don't wanna be
a party-pooper.
937
00:56:36,860 --> 00:56:40,455
So I ended up pumping a fireplace
bellows up a man's butt.
938
00:56:44,534 --> 00:56:46,968
I was thinking, this is usually
939
00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:49,231
the kind of thing you have to do
to get into show business,
940
00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:51,034
or at the beginning of your career,
941
00:56:51,141 --> 00:56:54,338
and I mean,
I've accomplished all this stuff,
942
00:56:54,444 --> 00:56:56,173
and there I am...
943
00:56:57,714 --> 00:56:59,944
I just got to be more careful, I guess.
944
00:57:01,217 --> 00:57:04,414
We're with Mike Judge
and it's time for The Butt Bellows.
945
00:57:05,388 --> 00:57:08,789
No one wants to do this at all,
so we're going to draw reeds of grass
946
00:57:08,892 --> 00:57:12,521
to see who has to get it up their bum.
947
00:57:12,629 --> 00:57:13,789
-All right.
-Okay?
948
00:57:13,897 --> 00:57:16,866
-I'm after Knox.
-Okay. I'm after Pontius, then.
949
00:57:19,469 --> 00:57:21,334
-That's it. He gets the camera.
-Yes!
950
00:57:22,005 --> 00:57:24,064
Let's see who's got the smallest.
951
00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:26,103
-Preston!
-Preston!
952
00:57:26,209 --> 00:57:28,336
Ready, everyone? Okay, let's do it.
953
00:57:29,179 --> 00:57:30,407
Excuse me.
954
00:57:33,650 --> 00:57:37,279
You got to be... Do it slow. Do it...
955
00:57:38,655 --> 00:57:39,622
I just...
956
00:57:40,490 --> 00:57:42,287
He hasn't put it in yet, Preston.
957
00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:46,158
I'm just gonna spread your butt cheeks,
okay? Wee Man's gotta find the hole.
958
00:57:46,262 --> 00:57:47,991
Hey, Mike.
959
00:57:48,498 --> 00:57:49,931
Is that it?
960
00:57:50,033 --> 00:57:51,933
Oh, yeah, it's in my butt hole.
961
00:57:52,569 --> 00:57:53,866
I guess I have to look, dude.
962
00:57:54,838 --> 00:57:56,169
-Do you feel wind?
-Slow, Mike!
963
00:57:56,272 --> 00:57:57,569
Yeah, I know, but there is a hole.
964
00:57:57,674 --> 00:57:59,665
-Do you feel like you have to fart?
-Yeah.
965
00:57:59,776 --> 00:58:02,643
-I'll try to fart.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait.
966
00:58:03,346 --> 00:58:04,472
-Do you have to, Preston?
-No.
967
00:58:04,581 --> 00:58:06,708
-No? Okay, keep on pumping.
-I'm trying.
968
00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:08,511
Let's go back in.
969
00:58:09,319 --> 00:58:10,513
What about a straw?
970
00:58:11,287 --> 00:58:14,450
Who's gonna blow a straw
up one of their bros' butts?
971
00:58:14,557 --> 00:58:16,991
Well, Steve-O's probably
done that before.
972
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,421
Easy does it!
973
00:58:20,630 --> 00:58:22,427
To the left, to the left, to the left!
974
00:58:22,532 --> 00:58:24,090
Not... The other left!
975
00:58:25,068 --> 00:58:28,003
-To the fucking left!
-Camera left, you dipshit!
976
00:58:29,606 --> 00:58:31,369
-That is the left!
-That's right!
977
00:58:31,474 --> 00:58:33,772
-That's... Right, then!
-That's his left.
978
00:58:33,877 --> 00:58:36,345
Yeah, but the straw's bending
to the right.
979
00:58:36,446 --> 00:58:37,470
Oh, I'm sorry.
980
00:58:37,580 --> 00:58:39,480
-Does it have to go in a little bit more?
-A little bit more.
981
00:58:39,582 --> 00:58:41,106
-All right, I'm gonna stick it straight in.
-Jesus!
982
00:58:41,217 --> 00:58:43,082
-You got to relax.
-I can't.
983
00:58:45,722 --> 00:58:48,088
I've never had this much trouble
forcing something into someone's ass.
984
00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:49,351
You're gonna get blood.
985
00:58:49,459 --> 00:58:51,927
-I'm gonna blow in the straw.
-Blow! Blow!
986
00:58:52,595 --> 00:58:53,721
Fill him up.
987
00:58:55,331 --> 00:58:57,026
I can't really blow, dude.
988
00:58:57,166 --> 00:58:58,690
We are trying to seal...
989
00:59:06,442 --> 00:59:07,534
Oh, my God.
990
00:59:13,049 --> 00:59:16,382
He farted on him! He farted on him!
991
00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:31,467
Oh, my God.
992
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,796
Preston, way to go!
993
00:59:32,936 --> 00:59:35,700
-Preston! Preston!
-Preston! Preston!
994
00:59:35,805 --> 00:59:37,864
I've wanted to work with Mike JUdge
My whole life.
995
00:59:37,974 --> 00:59:39,464
Ever since I've been in this bUsiness.
996
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:43,706
But I never thought it would be in the
capacity of him running air up my ass.
997
00:59:49,819 --> 00:59:52,310
Now, there's one thing
998
00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:56,950
most of you men will be able to say
when you get back home.
999
00:59:57,860 --> 00:59:59,725
And you may thank God for it.
1000
01:00:00,563 --> 01:00:04,192
Thirty years from now,
when you're sitting around your fireside,
1001
01:00:04,300 --> 01:00:06,461
with your grandson on your knee,
1002
01:00:07,036 --> 01:00:12,474
and he says, "Grandpa, what did you do
in the great Jackass NUMber Two?"
1003
01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:19,238
Well, you won't have to say,
"l ate shit down in Louisiana."
1004
01:00:19,882 --> 01:00:21,645
'Cause that was Dave England.
1005
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:25,950
All right, you sons of bitches.
1006
01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:28,246
Now you know how I feel.
1007
01:00:29,659 --> 01:00:34,687
What do you say we hit the showers?
1008
01:01:00,957 --> 01:01:02,481
That was horrible!
1009
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:06,818
Film the poo, Rick.
1010
01:01:06,929 --> 01:01:08,897
-Rick, film the poo.
-I'm filming the fucking poo!
1011
01:01:08,998 --> 01:01:11,228
-You're the fucking...
-I'm not getting any closer!
1012
01:01:11,334 --> 01:01:14,269
-Oh, gross!
-Rick, film the poo, dude.
1013
01:01:15,104 --> 01:01:16,503
Rick, film the poo!
1014
01:01:17,807 --> 01:01:19,331
Rick, film the...
1015
01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:35,586
And the spaghetti sauce.
I mean, the whole deal.
1016
01:01:39,162 --> 01:01:41,790
I'm Wee Man, and this is The Leapfrog.
1017
01:01:47,603 --> 01:01:48,570
Damn!
1018
01:01:50,773 --> 01:01:52,900
-Shit!
-Oh, God!
1019
01:01:53,009 --> 01:01:54,306
Oh, God.
1020
01:01:54,410 --> 01:01:55,934
You didn't see that coming!
1021
01:01:57,780 --> 01:01:59,213
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1022
01:02:07,690 --> 01:02:08,657
Safe!
1023
01:02:10,827 --> 01:02:12,226
Yeah, bro!
1024
01:02:33,516 --> 01:02:35,006
That feels awful.
1025
01:02:37,687 --> 01:02:40,918
I'm alive! I'm alive!
1026
01:02:43,693 --> 01:02:46,685
I have to give an apology to
Jeff Tremaine, the director of the movie,
1027
01:02:46,796 --> 01:02:49,629
because I'm a total piece of work
once again,
1028
01:02:50,032 --> 01:02:51,932
and I still have a half a bottle...
1029
01:02:52,034 --> 01:02:55,026
-You have to say sorry now, buddy!
-Fucking motherfucker.
1030
01:02:57,406 --> 01:02:59,465
At this point, I don't even care.
1031
01:03:00,543 --> 01:03:04,274
When the day is done
When the sUn goes down
1032
01:03:04,380 --> 01:03:06,473
When the children fry
1033
01:03:08,050 --> 01:03:09,915
When the Mothers frown
1034
01:03:10,019 --> 01:03:12,146
When the blood is spilled
1035
01:03:12,255 --> 01:03:14,189
And when the knives are drawn
1036
01:03:14,290 --> 01:03:15,951
When the blood is spilled
1037
01:03:16,058 --> 01:03:17,923
And yoUr body shakes
1038
01:03:18,027 --> 01:03:19,460
And yoUr bones will chill
1039
01:03:19,562 --> 01:03:21,359
YoU see a ghost
1040
01:03:24,467 --> 01:03:26,594
My God, I've seen a ghost
1041
01:03:28,504 --> 01:03:29,471
Y eah.
1042
01:03:30,239 --> 01:03:31,604
It's for the kids.
1043
01:03:32,341 --> 01:03:33,831
What song do you have down?
1044
01:03:33,943 --> 01:03:35,911
No sweat
It's jUst a ghost
79619
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