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♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
2
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♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:16,355
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
4
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,194
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
5
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:20,831
♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:23,655
♪ Three's company too ♪
7
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:27,170
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,128
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
9
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:33,331
♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪
10
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:36,201
♪ Three's company too ♪
11
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:39,071
♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪
12
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:42,407
♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪
13
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,644
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
14
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,813
♪ Three's company too ♪
15
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:58,056
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
16
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♪ Three's company too ♪
17
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Ah. You're awake.
I don't believe this.
18
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,967
You are actually awake.
19
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,669
What are you talking about?
20
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:11,881
Jack's reunion. Terri,
21
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,850
you slept through the
whole thing last night.
22
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:17,509
His reunion? That was
downtown at the Blackwell Hotel.
23
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,189
Yeah, huh, it may have started
downtown at the Blackwell Hotel,
24
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:23,382
but it ended up right here
at 3:00 in the morning.
25
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,584
Jack brought his
Navy buddies here?
26
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:27,486
No, they brought him,
27
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,499
or I should say
they carried him.
28
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,489
Oh. Well, that was nice of 'em.
29
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:32,936
Nice? Terri, they
plopped him down
30
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,371
in the middle of the floor,
31
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,439
and proceeded to have
their party all over again.
32
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:37,495
Here?
33
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,042
You should have seen these guys.
34
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,577
They were running around here
35
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,078
with their little
squirting flowers
36
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,346
and their sneezing powder
37
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:44,881
and their dumb whoopee cushions.
38
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,938
Sounds like I
missed a great party.
39
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,085
You missed a bunch of jerks.
40
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,375
Oh, come on, Janet.
41
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,355
You have to learn
to be more tolerant.
42
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,311
Hmm.
43
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,291
I mean, after all,
boys will be boys.
44
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,381
Aah!
45
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,553
Those jerks!
46
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,722
Hey, girls, could you
keep the noise down?
47
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,124
I'm not feeling...
48
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,594
Oh, my God, I'm seeing snakes.
49
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,330
Courtesy of your Navy pals.
50
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,899
They were here?
51
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,168
Mm-hmm. Too bad you weren't.
52
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:19,237
Ohh... Look, I don't want
to talk about this right now.
53
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,572
I need some coffee.
54
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,408
I'm sorry, but the
snakes drank it all.
55
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,576
Oh...
56
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,078
Too bad. Jack doesn't
have any coffee.
57
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,346
Yeah.
58
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,782
Well, milk is better
for me anyway.
59
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,184
Hey, Jack, tell me something.
60
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,898
Were you and that bunch of jerks
61
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,522
in the Navy together
or reform school?
62
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,502
Why don't you just
give them a break?
63
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,094
They're just some guys
trying to let off a little steam.
64
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,095
They're really a
wonderful bunch...
65
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,600
Jerks!
66
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,803
Look, Janet, he
found the coffee!
67
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,472
That makes me
feel so much better,
68
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,452
I can actually go
and get dressed now.
69
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:57,620
Grrr!
70
00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:00,345
Oh, sit down. I'll
make you some coffee.
71
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,448
Thank you, Terri. You
really are an... Ow! Ow!
72
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,760
What's the matter?
73
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:06,151
That's what I'd like to know.
74
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,485
That really hurts.
75
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,587
Woo. Oh.
76
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:16,962
I had a dog that
used to do that.
77
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,150
Let me look.
78
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,965
No, you will not!
Are you kidding?
79
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,210
Jack, don't be silly.
80
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,702
If something's
wrong, I can help.
81
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,838
Jack Tripper, I'm a nurse!
82
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,507
Oh, my God!
83
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:29,655
What is it?
84
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:34,012
I just remembered
what happened last night.
85
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,224
What?
86
00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:38,050
They took me to a tattoo parlor.
87
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,652
Oh, Jack, no.
88
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,121
Yes. I got tattooed.
89
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,357
On your... Yes!
90
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,859
Ai!
91
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,061
Let me look at it.
92
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,706
No, you're not gonna look at it.
93
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,597
Jack, I told you
that I'm a nurse.
94
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,277
I don't care what you are.
95
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,346
I don't want you
to see it, Terri.
96
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,514
It's... It's ridiculous.
97
00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:01,105
Jack, I have seen
all shapes and sizes.
98
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,377
I'm talking about the tattoo.
99
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,580
What's so special about it?
100
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,281
Promise you won't laugh?
101
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,850
I promise.
102
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,819
It's a heart.
103
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,687
Well, that's not so bad.
104
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,122
And in the middle of it,
105
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,390
it says... The Love Butt.
106
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,395
I'm sorry.
107
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,409
How can you just
stand there laughing
108
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,211
when I'm marked for life?
109
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:31,403
Oh, take it easy.
Who's gonna see it?
110
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,472
Well, I...
111
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,140
Sorry.
112
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:37,087
What am I gonna do now?
113
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,409
Have it removed.
114
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:39,756
They can do that?
115
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,113
I'll call one of the doctors
down at the hospital.
116
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,482
Oh, Terri, bless you, bless you.
117
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:47,418
It's just a simple
surgical procedure.
118
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:50,789
Surgical? You mean an operation?
119
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:53,024
What did you expect, an eraser?
120
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,428
Hello, Angie? Terri Alden. Hi.
121
00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:59,475
Listen, is Dr. Porter there?
122
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,477
Good. I'd like to
speak with him, please.
123
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:04,102
Thanks. A very
good plastic surgeon.
124
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,770
Hurt me.
125
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,173
Dr. Porter, Terri Alden.
126
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,108
Listen, I have a friend
127
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,811
who would like to have
a tattoo removed, and...
128
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,579
Well, it's on...
129
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,315
It's on... ha ha ha ha!
130
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,851
Why don't I just put
him on the phone?
131
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,030
Just a second.
132
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,486
I got to go to work.
133
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,500
Promise me you won't
mention this to Janet.
134
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,124
Okay, but she's
bound to find out.
135
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,269
How?
136
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,660
Janet always gets to
the bottom of things.
137
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:33,965
Cheer up, Terri, okay?
138
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:37,180
Hello, uh, doctor, uh,
yes, uh, this is Jack Tripper,
139
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:40,105
and, um, I do have a problem.
140
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,182
Uh-huh.
141
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,453
Yeah, I see.
142
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:47,557
Uh, tell me, how
large is the tattoo?
143
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,525
Well, that might
require a skin graft.
144
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,960
You'd have to stay overnight.
145
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,083
Well, uh, okay.
146
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,921
Uh, how soon do you
think you can do it?
147
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,889
Oh, no. A month?
148
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,592
Now, I'll tell you what.
I've had a cancellation.
149
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,627
If you can get over
here right away,
150
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,736
I could schedule you
for surgery this afternoon.
151
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,063
This afternoon?
152
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,434
It's open, Larry.
153
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,549
Uh, well, Doctor, I certainly
don't want to wait a whole month.
154
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,016
Um... All right, well, listen.
155
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,353
I'll, uh, I'll come over to
the hospital this afternoon.
156
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,911
Right. Thank you, Doctor. Bye.
157
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,714
What's this about a hospital?
158
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,383
Uh, it's nothing serious, Larry.
159
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,929
Just a little minor surgery.
160
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,119
Hoo! Hold it, pal.
161
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,022
There's no such
thing as minor surgery.
162
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,525
Once they open you up...
163
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:37,195
Larry, I'm telling you,
it's not serious, okay?
164
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:38,863
You wouldn't kid
me, would you, pal?
165
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,298
Honestly, it's nothing.
166
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:41,632
Oh.
167
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,535
What are they gonna do?
168
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,515
I really would rather
not talk about it.
169
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:46,471
Do you mind?
170
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:49,641
Oh, my God. It is serious.
171
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,152
Jack.
172
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,054
Well, Larry, if you must know,
173
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,622
I got a tattoo.
174
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,024
Oh, my God!
175
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:09,527
A tattoo?
176
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,764
Right here.
177
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,967
I was out with my
Navy buddies last night,
178
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,135
and at the time...
179
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:18,637
Yeah, yeah, I don't think
180
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,383
I want to hear any more. Thanks.
181
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,807
So how are they gonna
take it off, sandpaper?
182
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,289
Where are you having it done?
183
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,712
Wilshire Memorial.
184
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,781
Really? I just gave Charlie
Belson a lift over there.
185
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,818
He's having a vasectomy.
Can you believe it?
186
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,287
Well, Larry, this
guy's got eight kids.
187
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:39,469
Yeah, even so, it gives me the
creeps just thinking about that.
188
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:43,261
Oh, come on, now, Larry, a
vasectomy is not the end of the world.
189
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,929
Yeah, I know.
190
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,865
If a guy wants to play it safe,
191
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,800
a vasectomy is
the only way to go.
192
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,480
Yeah, I guess. So when are
you going into the hospital?
193
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:55,740
Well, just as soon as I
can get myself dressed
194
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,709
and throw a few
things into a bag.
195
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,777
Don't let 'em cut too deep.
196
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:03,615
Hiya, Janet.
197
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,551
How about this
guy, huh? Woo, hee!
198
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,763
Larry, what...
199
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,722
Jack? Jack? What's going on?
200
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,924
Not you, too. I don't
want you to worry.
201
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,358
It's just a little
minor surgery.
202
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:15,468
Minor?
203
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:16,828
Yeah, and in a few days,
204
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,462
I'll be back in circulation.
205
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:19,942
This is nothing to joke about.
206
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,744
I don't think you should do it.
207
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,368
Janet, the arrangements
are already made.
208
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,202
Listen, can I borrow
your little suitcase?
209
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,272
The zipper on
mine isn't working.
210
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:29,319
I don't think your
head is working!
211
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:30,709
I don't have time for this.
212
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,977
Are you gonna lend
me your suitcase or not?
213
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,257
Ooh... It's in the
bottom of my closet.
214
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,660
But I got a bunch
of my clothes in it.
215
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,883
I'll empty it.
216
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,286
Oh, Janet, could you get
me my shaving stuff together?
217
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,666
Jack, I don't think you've
given this enough thought!
218
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,722
Janet, please!
219
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,892
Okay, okay, okay.
220
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,162
But, Jack, we're gonna
talk some more about this!
221
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,932
I'll get it.
222
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,802
Oh, hi, Mr. Furley.
223
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,448
Jack, what's the
matter with you?
224
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,605
What?
225
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,651
Larry told me you're
going into the hospital.
226
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,008
Oh, that big mouth.
227
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,722
But he didn't tell me what for.
228
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,656
Now, to me, that
sounds very serious.
229
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,548
No, no, no, Mr. Furley. It's
just a little minor surgery.
230
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,795
Oh, well, that's a relief.
231
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,685
Excuse me. I got
to go get dressed.
232
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:15,932
What kind of surgery? Hmm?
233
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,488
Tonsils? Appendix?
234
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,691
It's not that big a deal.
235
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,859
Hmm.
236
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,628
Having your ears pierced?
237
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,431
Mr. Furley, if you must know,
238
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:29,067
I'm getting rid of something
I never should have had.
239
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,546
Something you never
should have had...
240
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,104
Look, Mr. Furley, I'd love
to talk to you about this,
241
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,539
but I've really got to go.
242
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,941
Oh, shoot.
243
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,393
Jack, what are you doing?
244
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,516
Excuse me, Mr. Furley...
245
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,517
What are you doing?
246
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,452
No, nothing like that.
247
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:49,621
Here, Jack.
248
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:50,833
Thanks.
249
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,456
Jack, I think we should sit down
250
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:53,858
and talk this over.
251
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,228
Sitting down is the last
thing I want to do. Excuse me.
252
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,641
But, Jack...
253
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,532
Oh, I'll get it, I'll
get it, I'll get it.
254
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,613
Yes? We've got to stop him.
255
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,848
What? We can't let
him have an operation.
256
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,583
You know about that?
257
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,540
Yes. You've got to talk to him.
258
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,520
I've tried to
talk him out of it!
259
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,777
Well, try harder!
260
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,914
You can do it, Janet.
I know you can.
261
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,816
'Cause once you start naggin',
262
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,851
you just never stop.
263
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,121
Mr. Furley...
264
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,323
I got to hand it to you, Janet.
265
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:28,559
You can drive a
guy right up the wall.
266
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,868
Mr. Furley!
267
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,496
I know, because I've
given in to you lots of times
268
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:33,698
just to shut you up.
269
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,167
Okay, okay. You made your point.
270
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,669
Good. I knew I
could count on you.
271
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,104
Now go get him,
272
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,772
'cause the next time I see Jack,
273
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,809
I want to see Jack,
not Jacqueline.
274
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:48,691
What? Mr. Furley,
what are you...
275
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:49,647
Mr. Furley!
276
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:50,648
I'm on my way.
277
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:51,649
Wait a minute, Jack.
278
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:52,895
Janet, I'm in a hurry.
279
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,585
Jack, aren't you
being awfully selfish?
280
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,753
What?
281
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,421
Well, have you
thought about the way
282
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,290
this is going to
affect other people?
283
00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:01,125
What other people?
284
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,795
You do intend to get
married some day, don't you?
285
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,507
Sure, of course,
but what does that...
286
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:06,664
Well, what do you think
287
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,632
your wife is gonna
say about this?
288
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,568
Nothing.
289
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:11,736
Nothing?
290
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,325
'Cause I'm never gonna tell her.
291
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,216
Aah...
292
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:29,754
Jack?
293
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:31,689
Oh, it's you, Terri.
294
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:32,690
Are you all right?
295
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:33,858
Not really.
296
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,761
Terri, why is the guy in
the next room moaning?
297
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,729
He just saw his bill.
298
00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:45,603
Oh, come on, you're not worried
about the operation, are you?
299
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:46,938
Mmm...
300
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:47,939
yes.
301
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,919
Oh, believe me, it's nothing.
302
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,120
The doctor could do it
303
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,789
with one arm tied
behind his back.
304
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:53,990
Really? Mm-hmm.
305
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,313
But he won't, will he?
306
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:56,392
Oh, Jack.
307
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,515
It's just that I...
308
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,995
Hello, Doctor Porter. Hi, Terri.
309
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:02,053
I... Jack. Jack,
you'll be all right.
310
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,955
I'll see you later.
311
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,390
So, Jack, how are we doing?
312
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,658
Well, I'm, uh...
313
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,895
Uh, Doctor, who
are all these people?
314
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:14,264
Oh, they're interns.
They're here to observe.
315
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,067
Now, if you'll just roll over...
316
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:19,837
Doctor, Doctor, a couple
of them are women.
317
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,408
Oh, Jack, there are
no men or women here,
318
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,808
only doctors.
319
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,277
Oh, well, uh,
320
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,212
could you ask the
doctors with the dresses
321
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,947
to please leave the room for me?
322
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,462
Jack, please, come on.
323
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,897
There's no need
to be embarrassed.
324
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,822
This is just routine to us.
325
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,791
Oh, my God.
326
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:44,495
All right. Now, as you can see,
327
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:47,198
the patient has a
heart-shaped tattoo
328
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,233
on the lower gluteus maximus,
329
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,868
uh...
330
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,504
with an inscription.
331
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,639
Yeah... The Love Butt.
332
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:03,348
Dr. Fairmont, are you
here to learn or not?
333
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,616
I'm sorry.
334
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:07,051
I can assure you this
is nothing to joke about.
335
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,519
The man has a very serious...
336
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,094
I'm so... I'm sorry.
337
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:19,696
I... I've just never
seen "The Love Butt"
338
00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,332
this far south before.
339
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,138
No. No.
340
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:30,141
It won't happen again, son.
341
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,943
Now...
342
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,745
Dr. Fairmont, how
would you, uh...
343
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,148
proceed in this case?
344
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,461
Well, I would make an incision
345
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,820
from here to here,
then down to here,
346
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:43,821
then up through here.
347
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:44,822
Whoot!
348
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:45,891
Excuse me.
349
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,067
Dr. Philips, report to ICU.
350
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,413
Oh. Excuse me, please.
351
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,114
I'm looking for Jack Tripper.
352
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:00,672
Uh, he's in Room 309,
353
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,239
but the doctor's with him now.
354
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,909
Oh. Uh, thanks. I'll just wait.
355
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,258
Thank you. Thanks.
356
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,285
Excuse me. Can I
leave my baby with you
357
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,820
while I visit my husband?
358
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,022
Oh, I'm sorry. It's
against the rules.
359
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,936
But they said I wasn't
allowed to take him in with me.
360
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,027
I'm sorry.
361
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,261
Nurse White to...
362
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,030
Uh, excuse me.
363
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,031
What?
364
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,700
Would you watch my baby for me?
365
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,812
What?
366
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,202
Please? It'll only
be five minutes.
367
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,511
Oh, no. I'm sorry. I really...
368
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,152
Yes, I'd be very happy to.
369
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,542
Oh, thank you.
370
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,820
Sure. Oh, hi.
371
00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:40,711
You won't have any
trouble with Timmy.
372
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,180
He's a very good baby.
373
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,181
I can see that.
374
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:45,049
Thank you. Sure.
375
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,484
Timmy, you may not know it,
376
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,187
but you are gonna get
through Jack's thick skull.
377
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,655
Yeah. Okay, okay.
378
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,872
Hi, Jack.
379
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:11,475
Look what I've got.
380
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,144
Janet, I didn't even
know you were engaged.
381
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,393
Come on. I'm just
watching him for somebody.
382
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:19,350
Oh, hi.
383
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:20,730
Isn't he precious? Yeah.
384
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,853
Well, if you can't find
a Cabbage Patch Doll,
385
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,021
this is pretty good.
386
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,456
Jack.
387
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,169
His name is Timmy. Hey, Timmy.
388
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,604
Would you like to hold him?
389
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,227
No, no, no. I don't think so.
390
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,940
I know you'll be great at this.
391
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:32,896
Well, maybe. Hello.
392
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:34,310
There you go. Hi, guy.
393
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:37,802
Oh, Jack, you look so sweet.
394
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,204
He's got a little button...
He's pretty cute, isn't he?
395
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,450
I knew you'd like him.
396
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,773
Boogedy-boogedy.
397
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,610
309? Thank you.
398
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,781
Mr. Furley! Here to see Jack?
399
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,617
No, I'm here to
stop his operation.
400
00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:53,951
Believe me, Terri,
401
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,487
he wouldn't be one
bit happier as a woman.
402
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,889
What are you talking about?
403
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,525
Jack! You...
404
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,738
You shouldn't fool
around with Mother Nature,
405
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,930
even if she did
screw up the first time.
406
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:07,365
Mr. Furley!
407
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,167
Believe me. Look, I
may not be a doctor,
408
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,236
but I do know plumbing.
409
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,206
Once you start fooling
around with those pipes...
410
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:18,276
Oh, Mr. Furley, that's
not why Jack's here.
411
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,143
It isn't? No!
412
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,124
Well, then, why is he here?
413
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,715
Well, I can tell you Jack
doesn't want anyone to know,
414
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,717
but he made a mistake,
415
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,485
and he's very ashamed about it,
416
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,888
and he's come here
to have it taken care of.
417
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:32,001
Yeah, but...
418
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,125
I'm sorry. I have
to go back to work.
419
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,559
I'll see you later.
420
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:39,029
Why won't anybody tell
me what he's here for?
421
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:44,535
♪ Rockabye baby
on the tree top ♪
422
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,736
Kch-kk.
423
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:52,810
♪ When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock ♪
424
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,279
Oh, my God!
425
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,950
What's going on here?
426
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,629
That's what I'd like to know!
427
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,286
Would you please leave?
428
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:05,089
I have to attend
to this patient.
429
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:08,826
Mother's Day will
never be the same!
430
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,596
You, too, and take
the baby with you.
431
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,130
Oh, uh, well, see...
432
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,266
I have to prepare
him for surgery.
433
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,980
No, you don't. He's
changed his mind, right, Jack?
434
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,937
No, I haven't.
435
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:23,441
What? Didn't little
Timmy do anything to you?
436
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:26,677
Well, he wet on me a
little bit, but that'll dry.
437
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:30,281
Oh! Honestly, Jack, honestly!
438
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:32,150
You're gonna have
to forgive Janet.
439
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,419
You know, hospitals
make some people nervous.
440
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,188
What is that?
441
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:41,303
That's just a little
something to help you relax.
442
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,459
Well, it isn't working.
443
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,062
Oh, it will, it will.
444
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:47,832
Now, come on. A few seconds,
445
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,801
and you won't have
a care in the world.
446
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:51,802
Will it hurt?
447
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,082
Oh, now, Mr. Tripper,
448
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,350
I've been giving these
shots for over 20 years.
449
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:58,976
Yaah!
450
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,090
And it hurts, every time.
451
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,579
Good God Almighty!
452
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,249
Now...
453
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:07,718
in just a few minutes,
454
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,497
you're gonna feel a lot better.
455
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,556
First you make me
think it's not gonna hurt.
456
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,492
Now you tell me it's
gonna make me feel...
457
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:19,730
So good! Ohh!
458
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:23,133
Well, I have to be going now.
459
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:28,206
Oh, thank you.
You are so beautiful.
460
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,474
Why do they always
have to get a shot
461
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,576
before they say that?
462
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,845
♪ La-ahh ♪
463
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:38,382
♪ Da ba da hi ♪
464
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:42,919
♪ Ooh hi, ooh hi ♪
465
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,421
Jack.
466
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:48,158
Woo, Janet, you are beautiful.
467
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,439
Thanks, Jack. I
have to talk to you.
468
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,796
Talk to me, Mama.
469
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:52,905
Jack...
470
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,301
You want to have a baby
of your own, don't you?
471
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,302
Well, sure.
472
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,182
Well, then we have to act now.
473
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:01,706
Okeydoke. Hop in.
474
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,112
Come on, please. I'm serious.
475
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,415
Oh, so am I.
476
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,916
Jack. Jack.
477
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,918
Jack, sit up.
478
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,654
Jack! Jack.
479
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,355
Oh, no! Oh, please!
480
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,302
Jack, you've got
to listen to me!
481
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,892
Shh! I'm listening.
482
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,293
Jack...
483
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:26,130
Jack, I really care for you.
484
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:29,567
And I care for
you, too, little Janet.
485
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:32,003
Oh, Jack, you may think
486
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:35,039
that what you're doing
is the right thing now,
487
00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:37,141
but as time goes by...
488
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,876
♪ You must remember this ♪
Jack.
489
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:42,112
♪ A kiss is still a kiss ♪
490
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,280
Jack.
491
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,549
♪ A sigh is still a sigh ♪
492
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,684
Jack!
493
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,586
Here's lookin' at
you, sweetheart.
494
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:56,160
Oh, Jack, we have got
to get you out of here.
495
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,328
Why?
496
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,475
Because, Jack, we can't wait.
497
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:00,742
The gurney's on the way.
498
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,099
♪ The gurney's on the way ♪
499
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,467
♪ The gurney's on the way ♪
500
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,735
♪ Heigh-ho, the gurney... ♪
501
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,672
Ah-ah-ahh...
502
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,139
No! No, no, please!
503
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,875
Jack, wake up.
Jack... no, wake up.
504
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,622
Jack. Jack. Wake up.
505
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,157
You've got to stay awake, Jack.
506
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,980
Sit up. Stay.
507
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,214
Put these on. Put these on.
508
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:29,993
There y'are.
509
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,495
Ohh...
510
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,931
They go on your
feet, Jack. Here.
511
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:36,200
Oh, you're so smart.
512
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,236
Oh, thanks, Jack.
513
00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:41,405
I'll always remember you, Janet.
514
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:48,679
No. Get up, Jack.
Get up, please, Jack.
515
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,991
Give me your hand, Jack.
516
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:51,493
Give me your hand in here.
517
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:52,994
No, no, Jack. Don't play games.
518
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,890
Just bend it back.
That's it, Jack.
519
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,627
Just bend it back.
That's it, Jack.
520
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:03,827
That's it.
521
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:10,601
Where is Terri when I need her?
522
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,202
Jack, Jack, get up.
523
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,104
Jack, you've got to get up.
524
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:15,740
Jack, you... Wow, Jack!
525
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:16,941
Jack!
526
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:19,377
It's impossible.
527
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,880
Oh, Mr. Furley, here.
Sit down and relax.
528
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,181
There.
529
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:27,651
And don't go wandering
into the ladies' room again.
530
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,220
I must have been dreaming.
531
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,320
What?
532
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:32,656
That Jack had a baby.
533
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,459
Oh, Mr. Furley!
534
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,394
It even looked like him.
535
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:41,498
Oh, Mr. Furley, Jack's here
just to have a tattoo removed.
536
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,300
Tattoo?
537
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:46,937
Okay.
538
00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:48,872
Wait!
539
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:51,875
Jack, please, you
are all dressed now.
540
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,710
Oh, gosh. Okay?
541
00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:54,711
Where are we going?
542
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,613
We are going home.
543
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:58,148
Going home.
544
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,283
We there yet?
545
00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:01,930
No, Jack, please, to the door.
546
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:03,887
Oh! What are you doing?
547
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,600
Terri, I'm so glad to see you.
548
00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:08,003
You got to help me
get Jack out of here.
549
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,226
But he's going into surgery.
550
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:11,173
No, he isn't. We're
gonna cancel it.
551
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:12,329
Why?
552
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,131
Why? You want him
to have a vasectomy?
553
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,836
A vasectomy? He's
having a tattoo removed!
554
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,506
A tattoo? What tattoo?
555
00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:24,775
The one his Navy
buddies gave him
556
00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:26,643
when he wasn't looking.
557
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,091
Well, why didn't
he tell me about it?
558
00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,015
Because he was too embarrassed.
559
00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,495
Embarrassed? Terri, what's
there to be embarrassed about?
560
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:34,551
I'll show ya!
561
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:37,108
Aah!
562
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:52,937
Here we are, darlin'.
563
00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:54,104
Oh, thank you, Terri.
564
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:55,473
You're welcome, sweets.
565
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:00,778
It's open, Larry.
566
00:23:00,846 --> 00:23:02,079
Hi, gang.
567
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:03,714
Hey, Lar. Hi.
568
00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:06,917
I see The Love
Butt's in dry dock.
569
00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:08,186
Larry.
570
00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:10,053
Hee hee hee! Only kidding, pal.
571
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:11,955
Hey! Larry!
572
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,991
Oh-ho-ho!
573
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,438
Sorry. I thought it
was the other cheek.
574
00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:18,763
Oh, you're so very funny.
575
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:21,532
What's the matter, Jack?
Can't you take a joke?
576
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:25,102
Mmm. Mm-mm-mm,
that coffee smells good.
577
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,303
Would you like a cup?
578
00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:27,304
I would love one.
579
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:28,472
Terri. Hmm?
580
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,674
Why don't you get
Larry some coffee
581
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,510
in that special Navy mug
582
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,458
that my friends left
here the other night?
583
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:37,147
I'd be glad to, Jack.
584
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:38,148
Great.
585
00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:39,149
Excuse me, Lawrence.
586
00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:40,150
Thank you, Terri.
587
00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:41,529
Can't stay long, pal.
588
00:23:41,553 --> 00:23:43,198
Just came by to cheer you up.
589
00:23:43,222 --> 00:23:45,155
Well, you're doing
a great job so far.
590
00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:46,768
Thank you. I appreciate that.
591
00:23:46,792 --> 00:23:48,704
Jack, do you remember
that girl Charlene
592
00:23:48,728 --> 00:23:51,106
that you've been wanting
me to fix you up with?
593
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,229
Yeah.
594
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:53,709
She's been getting
very, very lonely.
595
00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:54,765
She has?
596
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:55,933
Yes, she has.
597
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:58,121
So I'm taking her out tonight.
598
00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:00,571
Hoo hoo hoo!
599
00:24:00,639 --> 00:24:01,838
Don't touch me!
600
00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:03,385
Would you leave
him alone, Larry?
601
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,320
He just had an operation.
602
00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:08,445
What did they do, remove
his sense of humor?
603
00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:10,814
I mean, if you
can't take a joke...
604
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:31,861
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
605
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:47,350
Three's Company was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
38331
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