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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:10,942 Tonight, the best of Three's Company, starring... 2 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:12,778 John Ritter. 3 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,579 Joyce Dewitt. 4 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,448 Suzanne Somers. 5 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,283 Audra Lindley. 6 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,085 Norman Fell. 7 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,954 Richard Klein. 8 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,788 Don Knotts. 9 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,657 Jenilee Harrison. 10 00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,159 Priscilla Barnes. 11 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:30,395 And special guest host, Lucille Ball. 12 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:46,044 Ladies and gentleman, Miss Lucille Ball! 13 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:48,981 Oh, I hope they know that. 14 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,084 Uh... hello? Anybody home? 15 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,188 Good. 16 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:59,324 Now then. I can talk about them. 17 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:03,929 Well, this is the place. Three's Company. A guy living with two girls. 18 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,197 Why didn't I ever think of that? 19 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:09,835 Well, actually I did. But when I told my mother I wanted to move out, 20 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,572 she made me go live with my Aunt Maude. 21 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,560 You know what I like about this show? 22 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:19,945 It doesn't try to change the world or solve any major problems. 23 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,181 All it does is make us laugh and forget our own cares. 24 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,883 That's my kind of comedy. 25 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,093 It all started here in the bathroom. 26 00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,329 Their roommate Eleanor was leaving, 27 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:40,632 and Chrissy and Janet threw her a big farewell party. 28 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:44,536 Next morning, Chrissy made a startling discovery in the bathtub. 29 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,638 She ran right to Janet for help. 30 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,743 Shh-shh-shh-shh! 31 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:11,496 Ooh! Oh! 32 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,071 Uh... good evening. 33 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,673 Good morning. 34 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,375 Good lord. Is it morning? 35 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,578 Yes, yes, it is. 36 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,848 And if you don't mind a stupid question... who are you? 37 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:33,818 Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Jack. Jack Tripper. 38 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:38,356 And that's how they met. 39 00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,625 But becoming a roommate was not so easy. 40 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,333 Their landlord, Mr. Roper, 41 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:45,196 wouldn't hear of a man moving in with two girls 42 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:49,935 until Janet somehow persuaded him to let Jack stay. 43 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,904 How did you get him to change his mind? 44 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,140 Easy. I just convinced him 45 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,943 that nothing would happen between Jack and us. 46 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,011 But how did you do that? Well, 47 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,714 I told him that Jack was a decent, 48 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,083 respectable, hardworking young man. 49 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,718 And that did it? 50 00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:10,021 Not quite. I also told him you were gay. 51 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,966 Do you remember the girls looking like that? I'd almost forgotten. 52 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,035 They've really changed over the years. 53 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,650 And then came Cindy. 54 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,786 And then came Terri. 55 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,756 But one thing that hasn't changed is Jack. 56 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,791 No one but no one 57 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:50,795 ever got caught in so many wild predicaments as Jack Tripper. 58 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,232 Present company excepted. 59 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:58,470 For instance, there was the time Jack woke up one morning and found he wasn't alone. 60 00:03:58,538 --> 00:03:59,972 Honey. 61 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,175 Sweetheart. 62 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,376 Baby doll. 63 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:23,194 Not tonight, Helen. I got a headache. 64 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,332 Oh, boy. 65 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:34,106 Mr.-Mr. Roper. 66 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,440 Mr. Roper! 67 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,518 Helen, you wouldn't believe what a nightmare I just had. 68 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,931 Mr. Roper, wake up! Come on, wake up! 69 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,955 Hey! 70 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,389 Oh, my God. 71 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,892 What have you done with Helen? 72 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,072 Mr. Roper, uh... What are you doing here? 73 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,776 This is my bed. Oh, my God! 74 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:04,135 There was another time when Jack handcuffed himself to Chrissy just for a joke 75 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,338 and then couldn't find the key, 76 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,874 and he had to keep a date. 77 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,608 Hi, Jack. 78 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,945 Oh, Brenda, you look so beautiful. 79 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,514 Thank you. 80 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,483 Well? 81 00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:33,932 I'm so excited to see you, I don't know how to sit down any more. 82 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,869 Thank you. I'm sorry I'm late but my watch stopped. 83 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,949 What time do you have? Oh, uh-uh. 84 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,906 It doesn't matter. 85 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,220 Time stands still when I'm with you. 86 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,077 Oh, brother. 87 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,993 Are you ready to order? I'd like a glass of white wine. 88 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,830 Two white wines. Uh... make that three white wines. 89 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,520 And a tuna fish sandwich. 90 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,563 Three white wines and a... a tuna fish sandwich. 91 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:06,664 Jack, why are you ordering for that girl at the next table? 92 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,493 Uh... 93 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,504 Well, she's all alone, 94 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,273 and, uh, she seems like a nice person 95 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,502 and I think she's hungry. 96 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,144 Well, let her order for herself. 97 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:32,657 That'll be $5.25. Thank you. 98 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:48,006 Will you ever forget the time Jack took a job cooking for a husband and wife? 99 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:52,510 Unfortunately, the wife acted like the main dish was Jack. 100 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,057 I hope it's not too spicy. 101 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,681 It can't get too spicy for me. 102 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,216 Well, bon appetit! 103 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,985 You're so French! 104 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,287 Oh, well. You know. Oui, oui, oui, oui! 105 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,159 Mmm. 106 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,427 Mmm. 107 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:11,697 Mmm! 108 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,537 Mmm-mmm! 109 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,337 Mmm... 110 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,410 Mm! You like it, huh? 111 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,646 She eats good, don't she? 112 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,082 I'm a meat-and-potatoes man, but Mrs. Layton, 113 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,583 she likes to experiment. 114 00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:33,932 Uh huh. 115 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:40,291 That's very nice. I never saw nobody eat like that and look so slim. 116 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,560 Makes you wonder how she works it off. 117 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,444 Oh, well, I guess some people just 118 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,302 burn it up naturally. 119 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,804 No kidding? 120 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:58,109 Well, this is a great start, Jack. Just great. 121 00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,344 I admire someone who can do a good job. 122 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:05,283 Take me for example. I'm down at the lot the other day and this bozo comes in. 123 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:09,120 He asks me if I got a late model sedan, good fuel economy, 124 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,522 mint condition for under $500.00. 125 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:15,660 You know what I said? 126 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:19,096 But when Jack took another man's name to get a job as a chef, 127 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,500 he nearly wound up as mincemeat! 128 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,469 I don't think I'll watch this one. 129 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:28,106 I've been looking forward to this moment. 130 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,879 That's for my kid sister. 131 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,015 What did she order? 132 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,988 Don't you play dumb with me! What are you talkin... 133 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,793 Who's your sister? 134 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,997 You mean you don't even remember her name? 135 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,166 Wait, wait, wait! Olé! 136 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,906 You think that was pain? Then watch this. 137 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,142 Jack overdid it at the gym 138 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:09,680 to impress that beautiful girl, and now he's in such pain he can hardly move. 139 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,782 But he doesn't want her to know. 140 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,556 Hi, Jack. 141 00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,525 Hi! 142 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,595 What? 143 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,131 Hi. 144 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,899 Well... 145 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,579 aren't you gonna hug me back? 146 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,037 You bet. 147 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,415 Ahh! 148 00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:48,252 Oh! If you're trying to get me crazy, it's working! 149 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,422 Whoa! 150 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,257 Ohh! 151 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,896 Wow. 152 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,877 You like that, huh? Want another one? 153 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,234 No, no, no, no! 154 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:07,105 Jack Tripper told Mr. Furley he had a twin brother from Texas 155 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,907 and then he had to prove it. 156 00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:12,810 You're going to see a man who is really beside himself. 157 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,146 Well, let's get on with the party. 158 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,081 Wait a minute. Where's Austin? 159 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:21,385 Oh, he went to the little wrangler's room. 160 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,121 Austin, are you in there? 161 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,024 Austin? You lookin' for me? 162 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,698 There ya are. You son of a gun. How about a drink? 163 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:37,935 Oh, okay. Ladies, sit down here on the sofa. 164 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:40,271 Why don't you sit on down there? Attagirl. 165 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,107 It's good to see the two of you boys together. 166 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,242 It's great being together, partner. 167 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,980 It certainly is. 168 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,249 Well, how about a slug of bourbon? 169 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,517 Austin? 170 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,320 Fine, fine. 171 00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,757 Oh, Janet? No thanks, Mr. Furley. 172 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,271 Cindy and I'll just have wine. Yeah. 173 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,929 Real nice of you to bring it along. 174 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,331 Okay. Here you go, Austin. Thank you. 175 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,701 And one for R.F. 176 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,037 And... Jack. 177 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,272 Right here. 178 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,373 Slug of bourbon? 179 00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,776 Oh, gee, I don't know. 180 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,179 Oh, come on, you little twerp. 181 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,321 Well? Mm, okay, I'll try. 182 00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:32,156 Okay. Thanks. 183 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:35,226 All right, now let's all get comfortable. 184 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,427 Jack? 185 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,136 Yes, sir? I want you 186 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,931 and your brother, Austin... Right here, yes. 187 00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,836 To sit right here on either side of me. 188 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,074 Jack met his roommate-to-be, Terri Alden, 189 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:53,044 under very embarrassing circumstances. 190 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:56,547 He didn't like the idea of a woman giving him a tetanus shot. 191 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:59,417 But... she got him in the end. 192 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,085 Would you drop your pants, please? 193 00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:04,188 Drop my pants? 194 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:09,160 I bet you say that to all the guys. 195 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,297 Drop 'em. 196 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,533 No way. Why not? 197 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,180 Because... B-B-Because... 198 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:18,336 I'm a woman. 199 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,905 No, I wasn't... And the idea of a woman 200 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,674 seeing you without your clothes on embarrasses you. 201 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,278 Absolutely not. Look, I know you're a professional 202 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:31,348 and you've done this a hundred times and you know what you're doing and... 203 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,151 Why can't he give the shot? 204 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:34,786 It's not his job. It's mine. 205 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,087 Excuse me. Sir? 206 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,856 May I speak to you for a second? Of course. 207 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,760 I-I know somebody in your position usually doesn't bother giving shots, 208 00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:44,506 but in this one case, could you make an exception? 209 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,274 Certainly. Thank you very much. 210 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,066 Excuse me. 211 00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,801 You don't know how much this means to me. 212 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,303 You see, Nurse, 213 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:58,209 this may not be his job, but some people are not hung up on titles. 214 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,013 I mean, he doesn't mind stooping to give a mere patient a shot. 215 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:05,016 Why should he? He stoops all the time. Huh? 216 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,484 He's the janitor. The janitor? 217 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,192 And this is the kitchen 218 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:19,063 where Jack whips up all those delicious meals for the girls. 219 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,165 No wonder they love living with him, 220 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,535 and that's what this show is all about: living together. 221 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,071 Morning. 222 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,875 How you doin'? Oh, geez! 223 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,545 Do you have to walk around in your underwear? 224 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:38,382 This is not underwear. It's my bathing suit. I ran out of clean shorts. 225 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,535 Oh. 226 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:46,991 Well, in that case, it's all right. 227 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,660 Why wasn't it all right before? 228 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:52,129 Because before I thought it was your underwear. 229 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,731 But it's still the same shorts. You can't tell the difference. 230 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,200 I can. How? 231 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,838 Because your underpants have giraffes on them. 232 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:03,241 Exercises wouldn't do you any harm. This stuff's not for me. 233 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,144 When I want exercise I go down to the gym. 234 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:09,080 I lift weights, do a couple of miles around the track. 235 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,015 Real exercise. This is kid's stuff. 236 00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:15,486 Kid's stuff, huh? I'd like to see you try it. 237 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,356 This is gonna be easy. What do you want me to do? 238 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,802 Oh, well, let's start out with a simple posture. 239 00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:22,538 The lotus. "The lotus." 240 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,541 Yeah. Take one of your feet... Yeah? 241 00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:27,846 Lift it up with the bottom towards the ceiling 242 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,701 and gently place it in this position. 243 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,343 It's easy. 244 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:42,713 Okay, now, take the other one and do the same thing, gently. 245 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,698 Hey... that's pretty good. 246 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,569 Thank you. See? I told you it was easy. 247 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,237 Uh... 248 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,307 Okay, Janet, how do I get out of this? 249 00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:11,742 Oh, that's next week's lesson. 250 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,511 No! Janet, come here! 251 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,515 Hey. It was "easy," huh? 252 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,251 I said it was easy getting into it. I 253 00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:21,285 didn't say anything about getting out of it. 254 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,165 All right. I'll help you. 255 00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,322 Wait, I gotta get the phone. Geez! 256 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,694 Terri, dinner's al... 257 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,663 Are you still reading that magazine? Mm-hmm. 258 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,500 Terri, this is such trash! 259 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,667 Look at this. 260 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,302 "How to please a man." 261 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,238 I can't believe you could be taken in by thi... 262 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:45,243 Move over. 263 00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:46,477 Here. 264 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:51,114 Oh... "A little flattery goes a long way. 265 00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:53,651 "Show a man you're interested in him 266 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,386 and then he will..." 267 00:15:58,057 --> 00:15:59,635 Hey! 268 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,459 I do that. 269 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,660 I do too. 270 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,666 But I don't do that! 271 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:11,369 I don't even know what that is. 272 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:15,173 You've gotta show him that you're not what he thinks you are. 273 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,508 She's gotta show him that she's not a girl? 274 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:21,646 Help us out. I'm talking about a different type of girl. 275 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,115 When Larry shows up tonight, 276 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:29,286 you've got to show him a Janet that he doesn't know exists, a sexy bombshell. 277 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,722 What? You've got to turn him on 278 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,091 so you can turn him off, you see? 279 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,161 I'll show you how. Okay, you don't know me. 280 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,864 You pretend that you're sitting by yourself at the Regal Beagle. 281 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:43,501 What do you do when a good-looking guy walks in 282 00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,536 and sits down beside you? 283 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:46,804 Okay. 284 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,512 ♪ De, you sed de, you sed de, un ♪ 285 00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:58,549 ♪ Daylight come and a I wanna go home ♪ 286 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:06,624 Well? 287 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,026 I'm still waiting for the good-looking guy. 288 00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,761 Oh, come on, Janet! 289 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,665 I got somethin' that'll make you guys feel better. 290 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,368 I learned it from a friend who studied with a swami. 291 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:20,438 It's guaranteed to get you laughin' again. 292 00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:23,674 All right, now, pick up your milk. Let's go. 293 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,655 Come on, Janet. Pick up your milk. Okay. 294 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,979 Now repeat after me: 295 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:33,217 "Sadness depart, leave gladness in my heart." Say that. 296 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:38,923 "Sadness depart, leave gladness in my heart." 297 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:43,161 Now, drink your milk, but only drink your milk from this side of the glass. 298 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,596 Never drink it from this side of the glass. 299 00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:50,134 Why can't you drink from that side? If you drink it from this side... 300 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:53,204 You'll spill it all over yourselves. 301 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,406 I told you it would make you laugh! 302 00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:59,677 But it wasn't always fun and games. 303 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,213 You know, sometimes they got on each other's nerves, 304 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,515 which led to problems. 305 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,151 But with these kids, even their problems are funny. 306 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,462 Must you do that? 307 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,831 Do what? 308 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,501 Slurp your coffee. 309 00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:26,770 Ha! Slurping is a lot better that what you do. 310 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,973 You keep me up half the night making noises. 311 00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:33,691 What noises? 312 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,115 You mumble all the time. 313 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,791 Is that supposed to mean that I talk in my sleep? 314 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,261 If you talked in your sleep, it would be fine. 315 00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:54,765 But you mumble, I can't understand a thing you say and it drives me crazy! 316 00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,070 Well, at least I know how to laugh. 317 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,667 What do you do? 318 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,514 Oh... really? 319 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,016 Oh... really! 320 00:19:22,228 --> 00:19:23,938 What do you think you're doing, brining 321 00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:25,962 lover boy back here without checking with me? 322 00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:30,000 Back off, buster! You're just sore because I brought a man in here. 323 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,204 S-Sore? Do I look sore? 324 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,439 - Janet, Janet... - Janet. 325 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,974 Janet, Janet. 326 00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:41,045 Janet, I'm just thinking of your reputation. 327 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,553 Believe me. 328 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:46,817 People are just not ready to see a woman living with two men. What? 329 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:51,087 A single, attractive woman living with two guys? 330 00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:55,059 How come you weren't worried about your reputation, living with two girls? 331 00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,761 Because I'm a man, 332 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,931 and men don't have to worry about their reputations. 333 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,832 What? 334 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,336 What "what"? Did you hear what you just said? 335 00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,304 I wasn't listening. 336 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,841 Do you know what you are? 337 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,477 You are a male, chauvinist... Don't say it. 338 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,723 Oink! Janet. 339 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:18,048 Oink, oink, oink. Janet! 340 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:21,485 Janet, how do you like my new dress? 341 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,322 Well... I picked it up at a sale. I'm crazy about it. 342 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,758 You are? Yeah. 343 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,660 It's lovely on you, Cindy. 344 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,261 Thanks, Janet. Sure. 345 00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,497 Why don't you tell her the truth? 346 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,099 Jack. 347 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,169 If you don't like it, I wish you'd tell me. 348 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,803 I think you have good taste. 349 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:42,873 Cindy, that's not what you told me last week. 350 00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:53,149 What did you tell him last week? Nothing. 351 00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:57,420 Oh, come on! You told me you hated that plaid dress Janet was wearing. 352 00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:59,323 I did not. 353 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,312 Then what did you say, Cindy? 354 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,862 I said I didn't like it for me. 355 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,932 But it's all right for someone with... 356 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,903 With... With short legs. Go ahead. 357 00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:18,075 Short legs? 358 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:19,977 I didn't mean... Short legs? 359 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:24,114 Well! Let me tell you something about my legs! 360 00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,328 They are not short! They are not long! 361 00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:29,619 They are just right. 362 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:34,991 But perhaps somebody with legs like a giraffe might not notice that. 363 00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:37,327 Who you callin' a giraffe? 364 00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:40,430 If the legs fit, wear 'em! 365 00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:49,139 Chrissy, cut it out! I can't stand it when you scrape your toast. 366 00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:52,276 Oh, I'm so sorry. 367 00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:54,978 Chrissy! 368 00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:59,082 Well, what else don't you like? 369 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:05,489 Well, I'll tell you what I don't like! 370 00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:08,825 Jack, why do you eat your cereal with a fork? 371 00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:13,731 Yeah, Jack. 372 00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:17,334 Why do you make railroad tracks with your fork in your farina? 373 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:22,506 I don't make railroad tracks with my fork. You just did! 374 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:28,379 Why do you make tracks, Jack? 375 00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:35,786 It's a little game my mother taught me. 376 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,522 See, what you do is, 377 00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:41,225 first you draw the tracks, like this, 378 00:22:41,294 --> 00:22:45,161 and then you, "choo-choo, choo-choo..." 379 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,368 "Chew-chew-chew-chew..." 380 00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:53,103 See? All gone! I ate my "twain." 381 00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:59,042 Hey, where's Terri? I think she went to bed. 382 00:23:01,914 --> 00:23:05,549 Oh, no. No, I'm gonna put a stop to this right now! 383 00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:08,619 Terri! Terri! 384 00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:12,022 Did you call me, Jack? Yes. 385 00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:14,391 It's about your practicing. 386 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,927 Oh, my God! 387 00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:28,305 We thought you ought to do it here where I can see you... hear you better. 388 00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:31,108 Oh. Janet, did you take my drink? 389 00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:40,217 Welcome back to The Best of Three's Company. 390 00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:42,986 By this time you must know I love physical comedy, 391 00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:45,456 especially when John Ritter does it. 392 00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:48,492 He would have been right at home in the old silent films. 393 00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:52,863 He's done things that even Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd would have loved. 394 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:53,931 Action! 395 00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:56,233 ♪♪ 396 00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:17,287 ♪♪ 397 00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,103 Looks easy, doesn't it? 398 00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:07,804 But believe me, it's not. 399 00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:12,042 It takes a lot of talent, a lot of agility and a lot of band-aids. 400 00:25:12,111 --> 00:25:14,278 You know what else I get a kick out of? 401 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:17,314 The kids have the same problem I had on my show: 402 00:25:17,383 --> 00:25:21,418 Their landlord lives in the building, right downstairs. 403 00:25:21,487 --> 00:25:24,054 First it was the Ropers. Helen, the romantic, 404 00:25:24,123 --> 00:25:26,756 and Stanley, the poop. 405 00:25:26,826 --> 00:25:29,559 Look in the crack in the ceiling. Their party did that. 406 00:25:29,628 --> 00:25:32,462 Oh, that wasn't the party, Stanley. 407 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,998 That was the earthquake. 408 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:36,347 What earthquake? 409 00:25:36,401 --> 00:25:39,402 The big one. Don't you remember? 410 00:25:39,471 --> 00:25:40,937 Oh, it was thrilling. 411 00:25:42,774 --> 00:25:47,777 Thrilling? Yeah, it was the first time our bed moved in years. 412 00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:52,716 Look, Stanley, you been lying around all morning 413 00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:56,920 and you promised me that you'd paint the outside of the building today. 414 00:25:56,988 --> 00:25:58,522 Well, the day's not over. 415 00:25:58,591 --> 00:26:01,069 Yeah, but you've been promising all year. 416 00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:03,527 Well, the year's not over. 417 00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:07,864 How long can you stand to look at something so faded and drab? 418 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,806 I don't know. How long we been married? 419 00:26:19,445 --> 00:26:21,885 Does she know that you're a... 420 00:26:23,215 --> 00:26:27,117 She knows exactly what I am, thank you. 421 00:26:27,186 --> 00:26:30,921 You know, you're lucky, Jack. You could be pals with women. 422 00:26:30,989 --> 00:26:32,589 Hm? 423 00:26:32,657 --> 00:26:34,402 You don't have the same problems that a... 424 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:36,359 a regular man has. 425 00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:39,195 Like what? 426 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:42,366 You'll never have a wife nagging you. 427 00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:45,202 Not that I have anything against marriage, but... 428 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,771 Wives can be very demanding. 429 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,375 They're always asking you to... 430 00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:54,043 to d-do things. 431 00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:55,378 What kind of things? 432 00:26:55,448 --> 00:26:59,315 You know... li... like, uh, things. 433 00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:00,951 Things! Like? 434 00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:04,454 Like... uh... Like putting up a shelf? 435 00:27:04,523 --> 00:27:07,624 That's it. Putting up a shelf. 436 00:27:07,693 --> 00:27:09,203 And they're never satisfied. 437 00:27:09,227 --> 00:27:13,163 It's not as though I never put up a shelf. 438 00:27:13,231 --> 00:27:17,734 I mean, maybe I don't... put up as many... shelves as some husbands... 439 00:27:24,043 --> 00:27:27,422 but... uh... I, I put up shelves. 440 00:27:27,446 --> 00:27:29,546 I'm sure you do. 441 00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:34,651 If Helen had her way, I'd be putting up a sh-shelf every night. 442 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:39,088 That's a lot of shelves. 443 00:27:40,559 --> 00:27:43,794 Helen? Now that you're awake... 444 00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:47,897 I can tell you that I have no more little jobs to do. 445 00:27:47,966 --> 00:27:51,901 Correction. I have one more little job to do. 446 00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:59,710 Oh, Stanley! 447 00:27:59,778 --> 00:28:02,712 Do you mean it? 448 00:28:02,781 --> 00:28:07,451 A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. 449 00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:11,455 Oh, Stanley! 450 00:28:15,994 --> 00:28:21,565 Be gentle with me, Helen. 451 00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:25,769 And just upstairs is Larry, Jack's best friend. 452 00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:31,475 I better get my sunglasses. 453 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:35,912 I got great news, Lar. I'm getting married. 454 00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:38,482 Why? 455 00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:41,184 Why? What do you mean, why? Because I'm in love! 456 00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:44,366 You gotta have a better reason than that. 457 00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:48,091 Come off it, Larry. Haven't you ever thought of getting married? 458 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,128 Yeah, but the rabbit got better. 459 00:28:52,197 --> 00:28:57,433 Larry's a used car salesman, but he can sell anything. Even a coffin. 460 00:28:57,503 --> 00:29:01,538 Oh, come on, Jack. I'll show you, there's nothing to it. 461 00:29:01,607 --> 00:29:03,351 Here you go. Larry, come on. 462 00:29:03,375 --> 00:29:08,311 I'll tell ya. This little baby is the answer to all your problems. 463 00:29:08,380 --> 00:29:12,382 You got your plush, satin interior. And talk about your reclining seats! 464 00:29:12,450 --> 00:29:14,351 Larry! 465 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,988 And plenty of legroom, not like those Japanese imports. 466 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:21,157 Larry, will you get out of there! 467 00:29:21,227 --> 00:29:25,195 It's even got a sunroof. 468 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:29,099 Now here's a picture of a man about to make the supreme sacrifice. 469 00:29:29,167 --> 00:29:33,704 He thinks an older woman has designs on Jack. And he's about to romance her 470 00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:37,708 in order to lure her away from Jack. 471 00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,547 Hi. 472 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:51,421 I'm... Larry. 473 00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:53,790 Oh! Well, how do you do. 474 00:29:53,859 --> 00:29:57,194 Uh... I'm Martha. Martha. What a beautiful name. 475 00:29:57,262 --> 00:30:02,165 Reminds one of vineyards. 476 00:30:02,234 --> 00:30:05,602 A little wine? Yes, thank you. 477 00:30:05,671 --> 00:30:10,473 Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice your perfume. 478 00:30:10,542 --> 00:30:15,812 It's so... mysterious. So enchanting. So... sensual. What do you call it? 479 00:30:15,881 --> 00:30:17,380 Ben Gay. 480 00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:31,361 I rub it on my shoulders. 481 00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:35,531 It's the only thing that works for my rheumatism. 482 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:41,204 Well. It's so... You. 483 00:30:41,273 --> 00:30:43,073 To your health. Thank you! 484 00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:53,716 Um... 485 00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:56,753 I, uh... I understood Janet wanted to see me. 486 00:30:56,822 --> 00:31:00,757 Janet. Hah hah! Yes, she's a nice little girl for someone her age. 487 00:31:03,495 --> 00:31:06,763 Young man. Just exactly what is it you're doing? 488 00:31:06,832 --> 00:31:09,900 Now why fight it, Martha? 489 00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:13,836 I know from the minute I set eyes on you there was something between us. 490 00:31:13,905 --> 00:31:15,305 Oh! Oh! 491 00:31:18,643 --> 00:31:23,613 And of course there's Mr. Furley, the kid's present landlord. 492 00:31:23,682 --> 00:31:28,118 Who thinks of himself as a playboy, a lady's man and an all-around swinger. 493 00:31:31,323 --> 00:31:33,423 But that's not how we see him. 494 00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,441 Hi, what can I getcha? 495 00:31:40,465 --> 00:31:45,368 Ah! Well, let's see. You got any 12 year old scotch back there? 496 00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:49,339 Anything younger than that a real scotch drinker'd throw it back! 497 00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:52,108 How's this? Let's see. 498 00:31:54,179 --> 00:31:55,790 Uh, what are you doing? 499 00:31:55,814 --> 00:31:59,349 Listening for the bagpipes. 500 00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:00,995 You want that on the rocks? 501 00:32:01,019 --> 00:32:05,322 Well, put it in a tall glass with a little root beer. 502 00:32:05,391 --> 00:32:06,790 Root beer? 503 00:32:06,858 --> 00:32:10,460 Yeah. And throw a cherry in there too, will ya? 504 00:32:10,529 --> 00:32:11,706 Cherry. 505 00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:14,564 Got any whipped cream? 506 00:32:14,633 --> 00:32:17,767 Hey, why the long faces? 507 00:32:17,836 --> 00:32:21,204 Jack failed his cooking exam. And he's gonna move out. 508 00:32:21,273 --> 00:32:26,475 Move out? It's a good thing I showed up when I did! 509 00:32:26,544 --> 00:32:31,314 Jack! It's time you and I had a talk! Just the two of us. 510 00:32:31,383 --> 00:32:33,616 Now hear this! 511 00:32:33,685 --> 00:32:37,720 What's all this about you running away? Don't you know when the going 512 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:42,625 gets tough, the tough get going? So you fail! Big deal! Look at me. 513 00:32:42,694 --> 00:32:47,430 I've failed almost everything I've ever tried! 514 00:32:47,499 --> 00:32:50,745 I've never really amounted to anything. 515 00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:56,139 My whole life has just been one big failure after another. 516 00:32:56,207 --> 00:32:59,876 I'm the laughingstock of my family. 517 00:32:59,945 --> 00:33:01,990 The only reason I have this job is because... 518 00:33:02,014 --> 00:33:06,082 My brother owns the building. 519 00:33:06,151 --> 00:33:09,686 Jack, if you can wait till tomorrow, I'll go with you! 520 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:16,004 Boy, my French is really rusty. 521 00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:18,095 Well, lucky for you, I'm here! 522 00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:20,008 Mr. Furley, you speak French? 523 00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:21,631 Do I speak French! 524 00:33:21,700 --> 00:33:24,901 Isn't French the language of love? 525 00:33:24,969 --> 00:33:26,203 Garçon? 526 00:33:26,271 --> 00:33:28,471 Ah, oui, monsieur. 527 00:33:28,540 --> 00:33:30,374 A votre service, monsieur! 528 00:33:30,442 --> 00:33:31,941 Huh? 529 00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:35,256 Do you wish to order? 530 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,814 Oh, yeah. 531 00:33:37,882 --> 00:33:40,917 Uh... we'll start off with these "es-car-gots". 532 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:51,428 And then we'll have the "soup doojer". 533 00:33:51,496 --> 00:33:55,832 And then we'll have this "mouse-a-line sole". 534 00:33:55,901 --> 00:34:00,436 Pardon! Madam seems to have your menu... the one with the prices. 535 00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:08,011 Hello? Anybody home? 536 00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:09,412 Hold it! 537 00:34:15,654 --> 00:34:20,556 Oh, please let that be a cigarette lighter! 538 00:34:20,625 --> 00:34:22,925 Put your hands up! Don't move! 539 00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,572 Stop! That's our landlord! 540 00:34:24,596 --> 00:34:28,598 Landlord? I'm terribly sorry, sir. I hope I didn't scare you. 541 00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:32,268 Scare me! You kidding? Ha! 542 00:34:34,206 --> 00:34:36,366 Mr. Furley, you'll be fine. 543 00:34:43,315 --> 00:34:48,051 You know, one of the most important things in any relationship is understanding. 544 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:52,122 But one of the most important things in comedy is misunderstanding. 545 00:34:52,190 --> 00:34:54,557 Because it can lead to so much fun! 546 00:34:54,626 --> 00:34:57,772 Oh, boy! Oh, what are we gonna do? 547 00:34:57,796 --> 00:35:00,630 Chrissy! Chr... Oh. Chrissy! 548 00:35:02,534 --> 00:35:07,370 Oh, that's cute. 549 00:35:07,438 --> 00:35:11,238 Yeah, there's nothing a girl likes more than a tickle on the tummy. 550 00:35:15,747 --> 00:35:21,651 Oh, I could kiss every inch of you! 551 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:23,686 No, Jack! Not on the table! 552 00:35:28,093 --> 00:35:30,727 Oh... on the floor's better! 553 00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:34,564 All right, you guys! Knock it off! 554 00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:37,800 Hi. 555 00:35:37,870 --> 00:35:41,671 Hi! 556 00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:44,106 Jack, just hand me the new curtain and go. 557 00:35:44,175 --> 00:35:45,220 No, Chrissy. I'll help. 558 00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:47,255 Jack is in the bathroom. Would you excuse me? 559 00:35:47,279 --> 00:35:50,013 Surely. Thank you. 560 00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:54,717 Okay, I'll get in the tub with you, then we can get it on. 561 00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:07,030 Get next to me, I'll show you what to do. 562 00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:11,134 This isn't exactly the first time I've ever done this. 563 00:36:11,203 --> 00:36:15,672 Maybe so, but girls are better at this than boys. 564 00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:19,842 Come on, Chrissy. A little less talk and a little more action. 565 00:36:19,912 --> 00:36:25,715 Okay. You do your part and I'll do mine. 566 00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:27,450 I don't think it'll reach. 567 00:36:33,057 --> 00:36:36,092 Course not. You've gotta unfold it first. 568 00:36:39,431 --> 00:36:41,636 One of the most touching moments is when 569 00:36:41,660 --> 00:36:44,167 Jack and Janet visit Chrissy at the hospital. 570 00:36:44,236 --> 00:36:48,138 They misunderstood the doctor and thought Chrissy was dying. 571 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,941 Actually, she was about to be released from the hospital! 572 00:36:52,010 --> 00:36:53,687 Did you talk to the doctor? 573 00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:54,844 Yes. 574 00:36:54,913 --> 00:36:55,745 Then you know? 575 00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:59,148 Yeah. How do you feel? 576 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:03,987 Oh, fine. The not knowing was the worst part of it. 577 00:37:04,056 --> 00:37:07,324 Oh, Chrissy! 578 00:37:07,392 --> 00:37:09,059 I'm sorry. 579 00:37:09,127 --> 00:37:10,371 Hey, how are you guys? 580 00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:12,573 You've been so terrific through all of this. 581 00:37:12,597 --> 00:37:15,698 Chrissy, you shouldn't be thinking about us now. 582 00:37:15,766 --> 00:37:20,303 Oh, yeah! You know, as long as I live, I'll never forget 583 00:37:20,372 --> 00:37:22,639 how super you both were. 584 00:37:28,847 --> 00:37:33,516 Chrissy, is there anything you want? Anything? 585 00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:35,552 You name it. 586 00:37:35,620 --> 00:37:37,866 Well... before I go, I would like to say 587 00:37:37,890 --> 00:37:40,557 goodbye to all the nurses. They made it easier. 588 00:37:43,461 --> 00:37:46,996 Oh, sure, honey. 589 00:37:47,065 --> 00:37:49,032 Oh, Jack. 590 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,780 Well, it's almost over! 591 00:37:54,906 --> 00:38:00,343 No more hospitals. No more worrying about me. Soon this will all just be a memory. 592 00:38:06,250 --> 00:38:08,951 Jack... what's wrong? 593 00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:13,256 There's something in my eye! 594 00:38:13,325 --> 00:38:15,258 Chrissy... um. 595 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:21,965 Did the doctor say... When? 596 00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:25,435 When what? 597 00:38:25,503 --> 00:38:29,472 Uh... uh. 598 00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:34,744 When... you'd be... 599 00:38:38,417 --> 00:38:40,116 going. 600 00:38:40,185 --> 00:38:44,086 He said around noon. 601 00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:47,022 Noon! 602 00:38:47,091 --> 00:38:51,828 And then there was a time when Mrs. Latham, a woman Jack had just given a 603 00:38:51,896 --> 00:38:56,666 cooking lesson, was changing her clothes just as Terri came home. 604 00:38:56,735 --> 00:38:58,568 Hello. You must be one of Jack's roommates. 605 00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:00,815 Yes, I'm Terri. 606 00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:02,371 I'm Joanna Latham. 607 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,173 You're certainly a lucky girl sharing 608 00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:07,610 an apartment with a man like Jack. Oh? 609 00:39:07,678 --> 00:39:13,083 For someone so young, he certainly knows what he's doing. Such technique! 610 00:39:13,151 --> 00:39:14,817 Really! 611 00:39:14,886 --> 00:39:18,821 Would you mind zipping me? 612 00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:21,724 Uh, sure. That Jack. 613 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:26,796 You know, he showed me things I'd never even heard of. 614 00:39:26,864 --> 00:39:29,009 Oh. Uh... is he here? 615 00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:31,801 In the bedroom getting dressed. 616 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:35,472 You know what I like best? He's so patient. 617 00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:40,310 He let me do it over and over until... 618 00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:42,378 I finally got it right! 619 00:39:42,447 --> 00:39:44,480 Oh, hi Terri. 620 00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,349 Oh, Jack. I've gotta run. 621 00:39:46,418 --> 00:39:49,451 Thanks so much. Here you are. 25 dollars... 622 00:39:52,490 --> 00:39:55,658 And worth every penny. 623 00:39:57,862 --> 00:40:00,229 I feel guilty about this, Mrs. Latham. 624 00:40:00,298 --> 00:40:05,001 I had as much fun as you did. 625 00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:10,273 Poor Terri was still in the dark when Mrs. Latham's husband showed up. 626 00:40:10,342 --> 00:40:12,375 You poor man. Here. Come. Sit down. 627 00:40:12,444 --> 00:40:14,877 How 'bout some coffee? 628 00:40:14,946 --> 00:40:16,846 Thank you. 629 00:40:16,914 --> 00:40:19,882 You really shouldn't be here. 630 00:40:19,951 --> 00:40:22,217 Why? Isn't today my wife's lesson? 631 00:40:26,123 --> 00:40:28,001 You know about Jack and your wife? 632 00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:29,158 Sure. 633 00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,030 You don't mind? 634 00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:36,098 Of course not. She has to learn somehow. 635 00:40:38,036 --> 00:40:40,903 Guy gets tired of the same thing night after night. 636 00:40:40,972 --> 00:40:42,938 He wants a little variety. 637 00:40:44,109 --> 00:40:47,243 So you sent her to Jack? Right. 638 00:40:47,312 --> 00:40:50,190 But I still don't understand why you're here! 639 00:40:50,214 --> 00:40:53,883 Oh... I don't know. I thought it'd kind of be fun to watch. 640 00:40:57,922 --> 00:41:00,923 One day, Terri brought home someone from the psychiatric ward. 641 00:41:00,992 --> 00:41:03,464 Janet and Jack thought he was a patient- and 642 00:41:03,488 --> 00:41:05,928 a dangerous one. Actually, he was a doctor. 643 00:41:13,170 --> 00:41:14,648 So, Tom. How are ya? 644 00:41:14,672 --> 00:41:16,105 Nuts? 645 00:41:24,182 --> 00:41:29,619 Oh! I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 646 00:41:29,688 --> 00:41:31,454 Why? What's wrong with nuts? 647 00:41:31,523 --> 00:41:32,555 Nothing! 648 00:41:32,623 --> 00:41:34,690 I love nuts! 649 00:41:34,759 --> 00:41:37,359 J-Just that well... 650 00:41:37,428 --> 00:41:40,062 I thought perhaps you'd prefer some cheese. 651 00:41:40,131 --> 00:41:42,632 Well, anything you say. Good! 652 00:41:43,701 --> 00:41:45,579 Janet! Yeah? 653 00:41:45,603 --> 00:41:46,914 That was a nice move. 654 00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:48,849 Just don't offer him any more nuts. 655 00:41:48,873 --> 00:41:52,041 And no crackers! Oh, Jack! 656 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:57,379 Damn! What's the matter, Tom? 657 00:41:57,448 --> 00:41:59,782 Oh, my watch band has come off. 658 00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:05,288 Oh, Tom. That's no reason to get excited! 659 00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:08,590 Lemme take a looksee at it, okay? 660 00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:13,462 Well, here's the problem. You've got a screw loose. 661 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:17,666 Well, I'm glad we got all that straightened out. Oh! One more thought about 662 00:42:17,735 --> 00:42:20,212 Three's Company. We wouldn't care about these 663 00:42:20,236 --> 00:42:22,571 kids if they didn't care about each other. 664 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,900 And they do. Just like a family. Remember 665 00:42:24,924 --> 00:42:27,376 the time a phony character conned Janet into 666 00:42:27,445 --> 00:42:29,500 thinking she was good enough to be a 667 00:42:29,524 --> 00:42:32,181 professional dancer? But then she found out he 668 00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:37,653 wasn't only interested in her dancing? 669 00:42:37,721 --> 00:42:40,689 How could you treat me like that? 670 00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:43,993 I trusted you. I believed in you. 671 00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:46,728 You made me believe in myself. 672 00:42:46,797 --> 00:42:48,776 I think what you did was very cruel. 673 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:52,501 I'm sorry you feel that way. 674 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:56,839 That's it? That's all you have to say? 675 00:42:56,907 --> 00:43:01,711 No, Janet. No. Let me level with you. 676 00:43:01,779 --> 00:43:06,315 I don't think you've got what it takes to make it as a dancer. 677 00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:12,989 Well. Let me level with you, Michael. 678 00:43:13,057 --> 00:43:18,561 I don't think you have what it takes to make it as a human being. 679 00:43:29,507 --> 00:43:30,707 Janet. 680 00:43:33,244 --> 00:43:36,211 Please don't say that you told me so, Jack. 681 00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:39,581 Because I know that you tried to warn me. Janet... 682 00:43:39,650 --> 00:43:44,387 Oh, Jack, you don't have to say I oughtta be grateful for having my one big night 683 00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:47,824 in the spotlight, because it is a lot more than I ever dreamed of having. 684 00:43:47,892 --> 00:43:49,525 Janet. 685 00:43:49,593 --> 00:43:52,172 And don't say that you didn't come down here to say all those things. 686 00:43:52,196 --> 00:43:54,063 Cause I know darn well that you did. 687 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:56,332 Janet. What. 688 00:43:56,401 --> 00:44:00,336 I didn't come down here to say all those things. 689 00:44:00,405 --> 00:44:02,705 You didn't? No. 690 00:44:02,773 --> 00:44:06,375 All I wanted to say was... ♪♪ 691 00:44:06,444 --> 00:44:09,412 May I have this dance? 692 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,080 Jack. 693 00:44:17,721 --> 00:44:22,358 Speaking of caring, Jack didn't care for the idea of Terri moving in. 694 00:44:22,427 --> 00:44:26,996 So on her first night there, with Larry's help, he tried to get rid of her. 695 00:44:27,065 --> 00:44:31,867 Terri, would you please smile pretty for the camera? 696 00:44:31,936 --> 00:44:33,869 Hah hah hah! That's it! 697 00:44:40,578 --> 00:44:41,778 Larry... 698 00:44:41,846 --> 00:44:44,758 Well that's the last time I buy this cheap film. 699 00:44:44,782 --> 00:44:46,782 The color runs! 700 00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:49,296 Larry! You said you were gonna use plain water. 701 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,755 Jack, that isn't funny. Look what you did to her dress. 702 00:44:52,824 --> 00:44:54,468 Yeah, you ruined it. 703 00:44:54,492 --> 00:44:56,291 That was mean, Jack. 704 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:57,705 Don't worry, about it, Terri. 705 00:44:57,729 --> 00:44:59,006 I'm sure Jack will have it cleaned for you. 706 00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:01,263 That's okay. He doesn't have to. 707 00:45:01,332 --> 00:45:03,010 That's right! It's a wash and wear dress! 708 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,345 Larry... We have a special solution that will 709 00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:06,680 allow her to wash it and wear it at the same time. 710 00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:09,939 Larry, maybe... If you want the magic solution to clean the 711 00:45:10,007 --> 00:45:13,287 dress, this is the funniest part of the game! Just say, 712 00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:17,012 Give it to me! 713 00:45:17,081 --> 00:45:21,416 Terri, you don't have to do this. 714 00:45:21,486 --> 00:45:24,220 Give it to me. 715 00:45:24,288 --> 00:45:30,960 Terri... Go ahead. You can't stop now. 716 00:45:31,028 --> 00:45:32,728 You're right. 717 00:45:39,003 --> 00:45:41,683 Jack, that's not what I told you to do. I know. 718 00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:50,345 I don't suppose it would do any good to apologize. 719 00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:51,681 Try me. 720 00:45:53,384 --> 00:45:56,197 I'm really sorry. I don't know why I did this. 721 00:45:56,221 --> 00:46:00,055 I do. I've given you lots of reasons not to like me. 722 00:46:00,124 --> 00:46:03,693 But that's no excuse to do what I did. 723 00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:05,894 You're right. 724 00:46:05,963 --> 00:46:08,831 And it you ever do that again... 725 00:46:08,899 --> 00:46:10,579 I'm going to give you another tetanus shot! 726 00:46:10,635 --> 00:46:14,870 No, Mommy! Kidding. 727 00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:18,674 You are really something. You know that? 728 00:46:18,743 --> 00:46:22,322 If you still wanna live here, I'd be happy to have you 729 00:46:22,346 --> 00:46:24,313 as a roommate. 730 00:46:24,382 --> 00:46:27,282 Why not? The way I look, nobody else would take me. 731 00:46:27,351 --> 00:46:28,717 I'll take you. 732 00:46:40,531 --> 00:46:42,409 You know, as we look back over all these months... 733 00:46:42,433 --> 00:46:48,037 Excuse me, I think I left a script here... Did y... 734 00:46:48,106 --> 00:46:50,873 Lucille Ball! 735 00:46:50,941 --> 00:46:53,320 Hi, John. Lucille Ball. You're here! I'm standing 736 00:46:53,344 --> 00:46:55,678 in the same room with you! I mean, 737 00:46:55,747 --> 00:46:57,725 you're in the same room with me! I mean... 738 00:46:57,749 --> 00:47:02,851 John. What an honor! The great Lucille Ball! 739 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,187 Never in my life... 740 00:47:05,256 --> 00:47:08,524 That's enough, John. But I've admired you for so long. 741 00:47:08,593 --> 00:47:10,225 Oh, well... then keep on talking. 742 00:47:10,295 --> 00:47:14,863 Lucille Ball! What are you doing here! 743 00:47:14,933 --> 00:47:16,598 I'm talking about Three's Company. 744 00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:20,035 Oh. Oh, oh... oh! 745 00:47:20,104 --> 00:47:22,637 And looking at some of the very funny things you people did. 746 00:47:22,706 --> 00:47:26,041 Well! Thank you. On behalf of the entire company, thank you. 747 00:47:26,110 --> 00:47:31,480 And I was talking about what makes for good comedy. 748 00:47:31,549 --> 00:47:33,692 Oh. Well. Uh... my philosophy of the 749 00:47:33,716 --> 00:47:36,485 principle elements that go into good comedy... 750 00:47:38,656 --> 00:47:42,892 Uh, John. I don't think I have time for this. Huh? 751 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,963 What's the one word that best describes Three's Company? 752 00:47:47,031 --> 00:47:48,864 One word? 753 00:47:48,933 --> 00:47:50,866 Classy. 754 00:47:56,674 --> 00:47:59,474 Like I said, it's my kind of show! 755 00:47:59,544 --> 00:48:03,012 Goodnight! Lucille Ball! 756 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,415 Oh, John, kiss me. Thank you so much. 757 00:48:23,801 --> 00:48:26,601 Captioned by JR Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 53417

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