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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:13,590 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,058 ♪ come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,593 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 4 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,061 ♪ we've been waiting for you ♪ 5 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:21,064 ♪ where the kisses are Hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,533 ♪ three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,502 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,370 ♪ come and dance on our floor ♪ 9 00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,239 - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ - ♪ take a step that is new ♪ 10 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:33,342 ♪ we've a lovable space That needs your face ♪ 11 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,700 ♪ three's company too ♪ 12 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,588 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 13 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,612 ♪ three's company too ♪ 14 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,333 - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ - ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪ 15 00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,224 ♪ three's company too. ♪ 16 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,142 Hey, mr. Furley, how's it going? 17 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:10,246 I'll tell you how it's going. Did You ever hear of the black plague? 18 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:13,371 - yeah. - well, those were The good old days. 19 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,218 Oh, by the way. 20 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,588 Here's my dentist's phone Number you asked for. 21 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,790 I think you'll like dr. Slade. 22 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,760 He's a real fun guy. He's Got a sign in his office, 23 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,585 "Abscess makes the Cheek grow rounder." 24 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:32,502 you know, abscess... All right, forget it. 25 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:36,305 I'll give him a call. Listen, would You have any aspirin upstairs? 26 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:38,040 I've had a really rough day. 27 00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:41,043 Oh, sorry, used them All up on my last date. 28 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:44,636 All she kept saying was, "I have A headache. I have a headache." 29 00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,339 I thought that was funny. 30 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,491 Oh, that little gold charm Has gotta be here someplace. 31 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,225 When's the last time you saw it? 32 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,450 Before it got lost. 33 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,554 - oh! - I had to ask. 34 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:07,704 - what's the matter, chrissy? - oh, I lost my charm. 35 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,528 Not from where I'm standing. 36 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,577 No, no, no. I'm only Kidding. Come on, chrissy. 37 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,612 - I'll help you Look for it. - would you? 38 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,780 - uh, chrissy? - yeah? 39 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,416 Does it look anything like this? 40 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,818 - oh jack, thank you. Where'd you... - right there. 41 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,921 Hi, mr. Furley. Come on in. 42 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,990 - thank you, janet. - sure, sure. 43 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:30,594 - I just came up to borrow A couple of aspirin. - do you have a headache? 44 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,551 No, I like to read the bottle. 45 00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,601 Wow, you're in a bad mood. 46 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,636 I'm sorry. It's my brother bart. 47 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,372 He did it to me again! Just when things are 48 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,674 Starting to cook for Me, he put the fire out. 49 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,710 - what happened? - I was talking to nancy. 50 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:51,214 She works in my brother's Office, accounts receivable. 51 00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:53,750 She makes the Cutest little zeros 52 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,094 In the profit and Loss statement. 53 00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,557 - you like her, huh? - oh yeah, she's adorable. 54 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:04,528 - so sweet and delicate. - you think she likes you too? 55 00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:07,531 I don't have to think, I know. 56 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:11,056 She feels the sweet agony of Love that only I can bring her. 57 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,970 What makes you so sure? 58 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,739 Because when I walked Into the office today 59 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:20,031 She said, "Oh ralph, You give me such a pain." 60 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,714 Well, yeah, that's love. 61 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:28,985 Oh yeah, right. In that case, Mr. Furley, how come you're so low? 62 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:32,555 I was just about to ask her for A date when my brother walked in 63 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,557 And made me feel Like I was nothing. 64 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:38,027 - oh, mr. Furley. - yeah, what did he do? 65 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,030 He made me write 50 Times on a piece of paper 66 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,366 "I will not be late With the rent receipts." 67 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,034 Right in front of nancy. 68 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,872 That's terrible. You must Have felt like such a fool. 69 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,829 I felt like such a fool. 70 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,010 I was so embarrassed. 71 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,145 I had to ask alice, "Spell receipts." 72 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,616 You know, e before I, I Before e, I never can remember, 73 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,152 Anyway, my brother is Probably right, I am nothing. 74 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,021 No, don't say that. 75 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:07,390 Well, that's the way I feel. 76 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,026 The way things have been Going, I might as well be dead. 77 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:13,429 - oh... - look, let me get Those aspirins, 78 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:16,699 They're in the kitchen. Could you girls come help? 79 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,123 How heavy are a Couple of aspirins? 80 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,606 Would you please come In the kitchen, please? 81 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,742 - okay, okay. - excuse us. 82 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,512 - do you mind If I use your phone? - no, no, no, go right ahead. 83 00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:32,849 - jack, why do you Need the three of us? - yeah, what's the matter? 84 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,918 Furley. I've never seen Him in such bad shape. 85 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,755 Jack, he is always like that when he Comes back from seeing his brother. 86 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,024 - not like that. - you know... 87 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:44,293 He did say, "I might As well be dead." 88 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:46,462 Come on, chrissy, That's just an expression. 89 00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:49,432 Look, I'm the first person Not to take furley seriously, 90 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,134 But the man is crying For help, I'm telling you. 91 00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:55,004 Yes, dr. Slade, Tuesday will be fine. 92 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:58,942 It's not going to be painful, Is it? I can't stand pain. 93 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:02,612 No, no, no, no. No! No novocain! 94 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,782 No, nothing like That! No, I'm a fainter! 95 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:09,485 I just see a needle And it's pass-out city. 96 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:13,122 I can't take it, I tell You, I just can't take it! 97 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,793 I... Gas? You say it's painless? 98 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,084 All right then, I'll take gas. 99 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,000 - my god. - what's the matter? 100 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,670 It's worst than I thought, He's talking about gas. 101 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,938 - gas? - everybody is, 102 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,482 I mean the way the prices Are going up. The lines... 103 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:36,379 He's talking about taking Gas, you know, to end his life. 104 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,648 - oh no. - what are we gonna do? 105 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,484 I don't know, but whatever it Is, we better do it right away. 106 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,787 Yeah, and don't Light any matches. 107 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:44,811 Come on. 108 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,927 Mr. Furley, I'm sorry, but we Overheard you on the phone. 109 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,896 Mr. Furley, don't do It, please, don't do it. 110 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:58,067 - don't do what? - you know. Gas. 111 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:01,371 Oh, that. I guess you Think I'm really a coward, 112 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,407 But I just can't Stand the suffering. 113 00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:07,599 Oh. Isn't there anything... 114 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,981 Isn't there anything we can do? 115 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,806 No, I'll just pray It'll be over quick. 116 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,923 Chrissy, take mr. Furley Into the kitchen, would you? 117 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,726 - why? - aspirin. 118 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,662 He can't take aspirin without Water. Water is in the kitchen. 119 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,664 Mr. Furley, there You go. Kitchen water. 120 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,688 Keep him in there As long as you can. 121 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,402 Jack? Jack, what's That all about? 122 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,270 - shh. - why did You send him out... 123 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:38,241 Yes, I'd like the number of the Suicide prevention center, please. 124 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,277 Are you sure that you want To take water with your aspirin? 125 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,980 Of course I do. Who takes Aspirin without water? 126 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,816 My uncle. He said that when You take aspirin with water 127 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,353 They get slippery, and they Like skid on the way down, 128 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:53,122 You know, and end up in the Wrong place where it doesn't hurt 129 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,525 Instead of in the right Place, where it does hurt. 130 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:58,895 - so if I were you... - would you just please give me the water?! 131 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,031 No, I'm not the one Thinking of suicide. 132 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,966 Honest, I've got a Lot going for me. 133 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,203 I live with two gorgeous girls, I'm fairly good looking, I'm modest. 134 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,740 Jack, would you please just Ask him what we should do. 135 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,609 What should we do? 136 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:16,212 Uh-huh. Never leave the Depressed person alone. 137 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,582 - never leave him alone. - yeah, and make sure He feels wanted. 138 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,551 With furley that's Gonna be tough. 139 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,453 Are you gonna give Me the water or not? 140 00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:26,222 I'm just waiting For it to get cold. 141 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,858 - I don't mind If it's warm. - are you sure? 142 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:32,461 Now we wouldn't want you to go Away saying you didn't enjoy our aspirin. 143 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,497 Will you just give me the water? 144 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:37,433 You want a half a glass, A quarter of a glass, or... 145 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,536 My headache will be gone Before I get that water. 146 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,962 Oh, then you won't need The aspirins after all. 147 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,577 Thank you very much... 148 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,579 No, we don't need a Vacuum cleaner, sorry. 149 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,381 How's your headache, mr. Furley? 150 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:55,506 - worse. - that's because you didn't Take your aspirin. 151 00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,322 Well, yeah, in that case, why Don't you come over here? 152 00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,158 Come on, right over Here, mr. Furley. 153 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,927 Sit yourself down and I'll Take away your nasty headache. 154 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,697 Yeah, mr. Furley, put your Feet up. Right here, that's it. 155 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,999 - that's good. - chrissy, why don't you get 156 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,701 Mr. Furley a Pillow for his back? 157 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,924 Why? 158 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,507 Because we're trying To make him feel better. 159 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:21,611 Yes, we want to show him That life can be so beautiful. 160 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:25,181 - ah. - there. Now don't you Feel a lot better? 161 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,983 Ah. 162 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,418 I bet you forgot all About your brother bart. 163 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,321 My brother! I want to Go home and lie down. 164 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,557 No, wait, wait, mr. Furley. Mr. Furley, wait. 165 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:37,326 - I'll go with you. - why? 166 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,730 Why... Well, after that terrible Fight I just had with these two girls, 167 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,466 You think I could stand this Apartment another minute? 168 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,702 - I didn't hear any fight. - you were too busy Going "Ah." 169 00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,171 - didn't you hear What janet said to me? - no. 170 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,296 Well... Tell him, janet. 171 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,711 Uh... I said... I said, 172 00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:59,481 "Jack, why do you make Those awful sounds 173 00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:01,706 When you eat your soup?" 174 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,755 And I said, "I don't go..." 175 00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:09,780 And then chrissy said, "Ha, ha, you do too." 176 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:16,232 So I said, "Maybe I do Go... But I don't go... 177 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,400 And I do go... To you two." 178 00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:20,737 Chrissy, tell him What you said to that. 179 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:26,175 You hear that? It's so bad she Doesn't even want to repeat it. 180 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,678 Now, mr. Furley, would you stay up Here and let people insult you like that? 181 00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:32,582 - absolutely not! - neither will I. Come on, let's go. 182 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,628 Well... 183 00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:48,164 It's getting kind of late, I think You can go back upstairs now. 184 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,634 No, no, no, I may be Sleepy, but I'm still angry. 185 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:55,093 - well, I'm going to bed. - okay, mr. Furley, I'll be Right here. 186 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,582 I'm gonna make myself a sandwich. Would you like something? 187 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,174 Good. 188 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,346 Jack, we have ham and baloney. 189 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:20,351 A knife! Mr. Furley, No, don't do it. 190 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,222 I'll take the Knife. I'll take it. 191 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:28,971 Take it easy! 192 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,973 If you want to Make the sandwich, 193 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:33,309 You go right ahead And make the sandwich! 194 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,311 - sandwich? - yeah! 195 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,146 I was hungry! Do you mind? 196 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,148 Look, stop covering Up, mr. Furley. 197 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:42,151 We know what you want to do. We know you want to kill yourself. 198 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,320 Kill myself? 199 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,322 Mr. Furley, Please. Life is good! 200 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,347 And we want to show you That you have friends who care. 201 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,130 Oh, so that's why you Were so nice to me. 202 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:57,180 Well you don't have To worry, I'm not... 203 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,960 I'm not really happy. It's true. 204 00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,676 Oh, all that attention Helped a little. 205 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,513 - oh, I'm glad. - but just a little. 206 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,681 I'm afraid it's gonna Take a lot more than that 207 00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:15,017 Before you can be Sure I'm not gonna... 208 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,854 Mr. Furley. 209 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,878 Aw, hey. 210 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,541 I'll tell you, 211 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:42,378 If I have to rub furley's Temples one more time, 212 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,714 - I'm not gonna have Any fingerprints left. - look, look. 213 00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:48,985 - at least you girls don't Have to fix him breakfast. - janet: thanks. 214 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,420 Do you know the man puts Syrup on his poached eggs? 215 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,522 - ew. - oh. 216 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,192 If he does that to the shrimp Louie he ordered for lunch, 217 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,861 He won't have to commit Suicide, I'll murder him. 218 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:01,430 I asked him if there's Anything I could do for him. 219 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,066 He said yes, his laundry. 220 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,057 He ought to read His undershorts. 221 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:12,374 read his undershorts? 222 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,377 Yeah, he's got printed on them, 223 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,434 "If nobody's home, Leave a message." 224 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,153 Look, we just have to remember 225 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,922 That our purpose is to get Him out of his depression, okay? 226 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,892 And one of us is just gonna Have to be with him at all times. 227 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,627 - right. - yeah. 228 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,584 All: he's alone! 229 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,134 I was all alone. 230 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,769 I was so depressed, I Took the whole bottle. 231 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:43,105 - oh no! - oh my god, pills! 232 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,541 No, pistachio nuts. 233 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:48,944 Yeah, but who knows next time? 234 00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,947 My temples are Getting tense again. 235 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,071 Sit down, I'll Take care of them. 236 00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,743 - jack, my feet? - oh, right, yes! 237 00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:06,328 Do you have any grapes? Grapes sometimes cheer me up. 238 00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,330 I'll get some. 239 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:12,000 Mr. Furley, I've prepared a Wonderful lunch for you, shrimp louie. 240 00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:14,002 - oh, my favorite. - jack: oh good. 241 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:15,986 Do you have any Syrup to go with it? 242 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:24,246 Here you go. Some Lovely, wuvley grapesies. 243 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:27,138 Ah, would you feed them to me? 244 00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,987 You know, mr. Furley... 245 00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:35,324 I think maybe you ought to see a Doctor about this depression of yours. 246 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,326 No, no doctors! I hate doctors! 247 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,028 - now look, mr. Furley. - but... 248 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,397 I think I know What might cure me. 249 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,999 All: what?! 250 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,001 Well, if you were to 251 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,003 Throw a party for me, you know, 252 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,671 With the guys and gals From the regal beagle? 253 00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:52,007 - a party? - of course, if you Don't want to. 254 00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:55,244 - no, no, no! We'll do it! - good, good. 255 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:58,514 And it would really cheer me Up if you were to invite nancy. 256 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:02,718 - nancy? - yeah, that nice girl From my brother's office. 257 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:05,187 You could build me Up to her, you know. 258 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,189 Tell her how debonair 259 00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:10,148 And irresistible I am. Hmm? 260 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,317 Keep those grapes Coming, will you? 261 00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,304 Well, I'm glad to see You're enjoying the party. 262 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,940 Oh, yeah! It's a great part... 263 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,809 Oh, but any minute I could stick My head into the punch-bowl 264 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:32,114 - and drown myself. - well, it beats gas. 265 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:35,072 Jack, why don't you serve those? 266 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,788 Excuse me, larry? 267 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,746 There's no music. 268 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:47,062 - we're dancing to the beat Of our hearts. - ah. 269 00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:49,231 - would you like An hors d'oeuvre? - jack... 270 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,433 I'm already up to dessert. 271 00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:53,435 - lar? - hmm? 272 00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:55,304 - don't hold back. - right. 273 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,139 I'll get it! 274 00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,375 - okay, I'll get Some more glasses. - chrissy? 275 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,378 This is probably mr. Furley's Friend. Now, you know what to do? 276 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,535 - sure, open the door. - right. Chrissy! 277 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,750 Remember the Reason for the party, 278 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,207 - to make furley look good. - oh yeah, okay. 279 00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,324 Hi, I'm nancy. 280 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,326 Hi. 281 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,396 Mr. Furley's such a Wonderful person. 282 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:24,199 I came here to have a good Time, honey. Not to argue. 283 00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,435 Hello, nancy. Come in. 284 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,604 I'm jack and this is chrissy. 285 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,440 Ooh, and this is service. 286 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,442 Wow. 287 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,566 Oh, that's nice. 288 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,481 Well I'm so glad You could make it. 289 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,284 Oh, why the hell not? I get Invited to a party and I go. 290 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,853 I don't care if it's a birthday Party, wedding party, 291 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,855 Republican party... They ask and I go. 292 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,857 Am I right or am I right? 293 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:52,249 Mr. Furley's such a Wonderful person. 294 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,965 Ah, nancy? There's Somebody over there 295 00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:59,301 Who's very anxious to see you. 296 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,805 Oh, let's go before He cools off. 297 00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,974 Mr. Furley, look who's here. 298 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:09,144 Nancy! What a lovely surprise! 299 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,980 - I believe you two Know each other? - that's right. 300 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,983 Now where's the party? 301 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,519 Mr. Furley is our Guest of honor. 302 00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:20,889 Mr. Furley's such a Wonderful person. 303 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:25,161 Honey, I think you're Stuck in first gear. 304 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,585 Coming through! Excuse me, chrissy. 305 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:31,700 Oh hi! I'm janet. You must be nancy? 306 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,836 I'd better be or someone's running Around with my credit cards. 307 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,838 Get it? 308 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,984 Did you hear that? The Tinkle of temple bells. 309 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,287 Come on, honey. Let's dance. 310 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,921 Uh... Nancy, there's no music. 311 00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:56,358 Oh well, let's just hold each Other till the music starts. 312 00:16:56,382 --> 00:17:00,296 Oh! 313 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,365 Isn't it cute, the way she's Trying to make me jealous? 314 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,701 Yeah, sure is. Mr. Furley, 315 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,593 - could you excuse me For a moment? - yeah, me too. 316 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,964 Larry... 317 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,634 Larry. 318 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,850 - I need you. - take a ticket, honey, 319 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,807 I'm working on another customer. 320 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:29,958 I want you to make a Toast to mr. Furley. 321 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,527 Why? 322 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,529 Look, I'll tell you About it later, okay? 323 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,686 Okay. Remember where we were. 324 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:40,369 Listen, everybody, Listen. Hello, hello, hello! 325 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:45,341 - larry here wants To make a toast. - what do I say? 326 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,909 Say how much we love him, How much we admire him... 327 00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,646 - what? - just do it. 328 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:55,083 Mr. Furley, why don't you step Right over here? Right there. 329 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,918 Hit it, lar. 330 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,788 Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to pay tribute 331 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:02,480 To a great man, Whom we all love... 332 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:09,465 And whom we ad... Admire. 333 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,168 - larry, I'll take over. - I'm sorry. 334 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,724 Take a hike. 335 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,540 Folks, a toast... 336 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,941 To a man who has captivated us 337 00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:23,179 With his style and grace, 338 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,381 His charm, his wit, 339 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,383 His attractiveness And his charisma. 340 00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,208 Who is it? I'd like to meet him. 341 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,691 I'm speaking about our Beloved guest of honor, 342 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,260 R.F. Himself, mr. Ralph furley. 343 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,665 All right, there's lots More food in the kitchen. 344 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,722 - come on, janet. - okay, excuse us. 345 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,836 What do you think of me now? 346 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,606 You don't really want Me to tell you, do you? 347 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:54,310 Well, maybe later, when you've Gotten control of yourself. 348 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,046 We've now done our Part, but I'll tell you, 349 00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,782 I don't think that nancy is Too interested in mr. Furley. 350 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,686 Mr. Furley is like one of those Things you have to get used to. 351 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:07,223 - what, like olives? - no, more like the pits. 352 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,157 - you got any ice? - yeah. 353 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:12,394 - oh, here we are. - what's so funny, larry? 354 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,829 Furley. 355 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,131 He's looking at nancy Like a kid looks at candy, 356 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,923 And all he keeps telling her Is how he's gonna take gas. 357 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:24,540 Oh my god. You mean he's Talking about ending his life again? 358 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,542 No, no, no. 359 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:29,177 He's telling her how his Dentist is gonna give him gas. 360 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,435 What? 361 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,785 His dentist? 362 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,955 Do you mean that mr. Furley Isn't going to commit suicide? 363 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,146 Furley? A man who faints At the sight of ketchup? 364 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,362 And all this time we've Been knocking ourselves out 365 00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:50,365 Doing anything he wants, Worrying ourselves sick. 366 00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:53,001 My friends, I think You've been had. 367 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:58,106 Why don't you come on out? You're missing all the fun. 368 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,943 - mr. Furley, we've just been informed... - hold it, janet. 369 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,111 I think the fun's Just about to begin. 370 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,948 Here, what do you say, You and I have a drink? 371 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,015 - jack? - cheers. 372 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,973 Cheers. 373 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,354 - how do you feel? - great. 374 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,690 Good, they told me the Poison would be painless. 375 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,614 Poison? 376 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:22,464 We tried, mr. Furley. Lord knows we tried, 377 00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:25,634 But we haven't the right to Make a man live in this world 378 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,636 If he doesn't want to. 379 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,437 You mean you poisoned me? 380 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:32,273 Well, I don't know how Fast the poison works, 381 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,710 So I think we'd better Saygood bye now. 382 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,145 - I don't want To say goodbye. - then we'd better say ciao. 383 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,648 - I don't want to say ciao. - how about auf wiedersehen? 384 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,783 I don't want to say auf Wieder... I can't say that. 385 00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,619 - how about adios? - I don't want to say... 386 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,120 - adios. - stop this! 387 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,955 Mr. Furley, just calm down. 388 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:49,625 Any moment you are going To be over the rainbow. 389 00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,060 Yeah, where happy Little bluebirds fly. 390 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,863 I don't wanna die! You Got to do something! 391 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,197 - uh, well... - uh, well... 392 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,700 Gee, maybe if you... They Say, if you hop up and down... 393 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,002 - yeah! - hop up and down? 394 00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:01,904 It gets the poison Away from your heart. 395 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,405 Keep... Not in Here, not in here. 396 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,029 Outside, where There's more room. 397 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:10,067 Oh look, he's out Playing bunny rabbit. 398 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,581 That's cute, ralph. 399 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,418 I can't talk to you now, I'm hopping for my life. 400 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,887 - I don't think I can keep it up. - you got to keep... 401 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,489 - I'm getting tired. - you got to keep awake. Keep it up. 402 00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:23,759 - how? - you could try singing. 403 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,827 - that's it, Sing out loud! - sing and hop. 404 00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:27,663 Sing and hop. 405 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:31,188 ♪ I'm gonna live till I die... ♪ wrong song! 406 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:35,504 This is it! I'm going! Goodbye, I'm going. 407 00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,506 - where? - furley: I don't know. 408 00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:40,843 Up there, down there, I Don't have much choice. 409 00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:43,078 - wait a minute. Mr. Furley. - all I wanted 410 00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:46,114 Was a little love and Affection I wasn't getting. 411 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,149 Now it's too late. 412 00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:52,120 - jack. - no, it's not too late, Mr. Furley. 413 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,945 - there was nothing In the wine. - what? 414 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:59,227 Well, you did a number on us, 415 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,663 So we did a number on you. 416 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:04,388 - you mean...? - you're gonna live. 417 00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:07,536 I'm gonna live. I'm gonna live! 418 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,639 I... Oh, what's the use? 419 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:13,241 Nancy won't wanna be with me. 420 00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:16,912 Not after the way I've acted Like such a horse's-you-know-what. 421 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,836 What? 422 00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:25,086 Oh, ralph, let me Tell you something. 423 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:28,590 You know you just did something A lot of guys could never do. 424 00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:31,560 I mean, admitting you Need love and affection. 425 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,863 - I like that In a man. - you do? 426 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:38,188 Yeah, even if he is a Horse's-you-know-what. 427 00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:41,024 What? 428 00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:51,769 I told you she was Crazy about me. 429 00:23:00,246 --> 00:23:02,391 - ah, finished. - catch. 430 00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,460 We're all cleaned up, Can you believe that? 431 00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:08,430 Did you see the way that Mr. Furley was dancing with nancy? 432 00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:11,967 I mean, it was so romantic, All cheek to cheek. 433 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:15,459 No, that wasn't romance. His sideburn Was caught on her earring. I swear. 434 00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:20,542 I think it turned out to Be a really nice party. 435 00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:24,246 Sure did. And the main thing Is, we did cheer mr. Furley up. 436 00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:26,482 - yeah. - I hope I never Get so depressed 437 00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:28,984 People think I'm gonna Do something desperate. 438 00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:30,652 - boy, me either. - I know I won't. 439 00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:33,555 - how do you know that? - whenever I'm feeling Kind of low, 440 00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:35,591 I have this inspirational poem 441 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:38,126 That I carry around with Me and it cheers me up. 442 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,629 Do you mean that you Just read yourself a poem 443 00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:42,831 - and it gets rid Of your blues? - yeah. 444 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:45,333 - I'd like to hear that. - me too. 445 00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:48,036 - you would? - yeah. 446 00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:49,292 Okay. 447 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,440 You sure you guys Want to hear this? 448 00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:54,397 - yes. - yes, chrissy, absolutely. 449 00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:01,449 "You can run from love, You can run from war, 450 00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:04,285 You can run from The cop on the beat, 451 00:24:04,309 --> 00:24:06,088 You can run from danger, 452 00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:08,323 You can run from a stranger, 453 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:10,781 But you can't run Away from your feet." 454 00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:19,857 See? I told you, it Works every time. 455 00:24:47,419 --> 00:24:49,998 Ritter's voice: "Three's Company" was videotaped 456 00:24:50,022 --> 00:24:51,989 in front of a studio audience. 36311

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