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1
00:00:01,476 --> 00:00:03,287
Hmm.
2
00:00:03,311 --> 00:00:05,623
Good evening, everybody.
3
00:00:05,647 --> 00:00:09,493
Sometimes one does
despair of today's youth.
4
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:12,797
To them concepts such as honor,
5
00:00:12,821 --> 00:00:15,900
duty and self-restraint
6
00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:18,669
are as foreign as a frenchman
7
00:00:18,693 --> 00:00:22,039
and no more acceptable.
8
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,441
On the other hand, of
course, it is important
9
00:00:24,465 --> 00:00:26,877
not to judge people too harshly.
10
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,378
We were all young once,
11
00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:33,050
and although we may
not have attended raves,
12
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:36,386
I seem to remember that
Saturday morning at the pictures
13
00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:39,824
could get pretty wild.
14
00:00:39,848 --> 00:00:42,326
Let he who has never
chucked a gobstopper
15
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:45,462
at John Wayne during the kissy bit
16
00:00:45,486 --> 00:00:48,666
cast the first stone.
17
00:00:48,690 --> 00:00:51,468
For young people, as we shall see,
18
00:00:51,492 --> 00:00:54,762
are like the last banana
in the fruit bowl-
19
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:59,333
Not all bad.
20
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:13,390
I tell you what, I'll be glad when
they've fixed our showers and toilet.
21
00:01:13,414 --> 00:01:15,192
I hate sharing the blokes'.
22
00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:16,994
There's a pair of jocks in that locker
23
00:01:17,018 --> 00:01:19,396
that's developing its own ecosystem.
24
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:22,032
It's not what you need when
you're feeling delicate.
25
00:01:22,056 --> 00:01:24,234
Had a little drinky last night, did we?
26
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,871
Just a bit. My tongue's
got so much fur on it,
27
00:01:26,895 --> 00:01:29,597
I may need a license
to keep it domestically.
28
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:35,112
Drinking like that's terribly
bad for you, you know, Maggie.
29
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,247
Really, Pat? And there was me thinking
30
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:39,216
that having a brain
like a pickled walnut
31
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,618
and a mouth like a rat's bum
32
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,275
was a bit of a health cure.
33
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:45,222
Instead of poisoning your body,
34
00:01:45,246 --> 00:01:47,358
you should be concentrating
on rejuvenating
35
00:01:47,382 --> 00:01:49,494
your physical and sensual sides.
36
00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:51,195
The way I feel this morning,
37
00:01:51,219 --> 00:01:53,097
you couldn't rejuvenate my sensual side
38
00:01:53,121 --> 00:01:55,533
if you chucked me into a
bath full of chippendales
39
00:01:55,557 --> 00:01:57,825
and asked me to find the soap.
40
00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:01,271
Blimey!
41
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:05,042
Sharing the gents with a load
of women. It's a disgrace.
42
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:09,013
The place'll stink like the
perfume counter at boots.
43
00:02:09,037 --> 00:02:11,215
They'll be in there
44
00:02:11,239 --> 00:02:14,284
dibby-dabby, lippy-lappy,
45
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:17,855
powder-poofing, bonnet-boofing,
46
00:02:17,879 --> 00:02:19,790
squirty-squirty,
47
00:02:19,814 --> 00:02:23,483
"only be a minute, I've just
got to re-grout my crow's feet."
48
00:02:24,953 --> 00:02:27,832
I get all this at home, you know.
49
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,935
I'm talking about
alternative healing, Maggie.
50
00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:33,070
I've just joined a well-woman group.
51
00:02:33,094 --> 00:02:35,506
You can do rebirthing,
52
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,942
reflexology, shiatsu massage.
53
00:02:37,966 --> 00:02:39,744
You have to let it all out.
54
00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:43,014
Please, Pat. I'm having enough
trouble keeping it all down.
55
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:45,482
And if you haven't got time for shiatsu,
56
00:02:45,506 --> 00:02:47,418
just have an enema.
57
00:02:47,442 --> 00:02:49,654
You can do it at home in five minutes
58
00:02:49,678 --> 00:02:51,946
with an ordinary garden hose.
59
00:02:54,182 --> 00:02:56,994
Tweezering and plucking,
60
00:02:57,018 --> 00:02:59,897
and using my bic on her legs,
61
00:02:59,921 --> 00:03:03,734
and slapping the glandular
oils of some dead whale around
62
00:03:03,758 --> 00:03:05,736
like it didn't cost 15 quid a jar
63
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,372
which I have to bleedin' earn.
64
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,140
Well, I'm off the booze now, anyway.
65
00:03:10,164 --> 00:03:13,177
- My little sister's coming to stay.
- Oh, that's nice.
66
00:03:13,201 --> 00:03:15,713
No it's not. She's completely boring.
67
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,582
Goody-flippin'- two-shoes.
68
00:03:17,606 --> 00:03:20,317
If she sees me with so
much as a half of cidrax,
69
00:03:20,341 --> 00:03:23,320
she'll tell my mom, who'll
immediately ring up in floods
70
00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:25,823
and read the entire Koran
onto my answer phone.
71
00:03:25,847 --> 00:03:29,961
Perhaps your sister would like to
come along to my rebirthing group?
72
00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:33,397
You recreate the moment you
emerged from your mother's womb.
73
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,833
Oh, I'll see if I can persuade her.
74
00:03:35,857 --> 00:03:39,503
Maybe she'll come out a bit more
interesting second time around.
75
00:03:39,527 --> 00:03:42,039
I shout, "come on, Tina!"
76
00:03:42,063 --> 00:03:44,642
She says, "I'm just
gonna have five minutes
77
00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:46,510
on the bum wobbling machine."
78
00:03:46,534 --> 00:03:49,080
Then she leaves the
top off the toothpaste.
79
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,448
Blimey, Fowler, I
thought at least at work
80
00:03:51,472 --> 00:03:54,184
we could keep the birds out of the bog.
81
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:57,711
Sharing lockers is brilliant.
82
00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:01,692
I cannot believe I'm
actually going to be changing
83
00:04:01,716 --> 00:04:03,761
in the same room as Constanble Habib.
84
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,830
But not at the same time.
85
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:09,900
True, but it's a step in the
right direction, isn't it?
86
00:04:09,924 --> 00:04:12,803
Right, that's it, you
lot. Come on, time's up.
87
00:04:12,827 --> 00:04:14,928
Get out of it!
88
00:04:16,731 --> 00:04:20,011
- Good morning, Inspector Grim.
- Oh, it's still morning, is it?
89
00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:21,712
Blimey, I thought it was later.
90
00:04:21,736 --> 00:04:25,149
Evening at least, or
else sometime next year.
91
00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:27,084
Doesn't time fly
92
00:04:27,108 --> 00:04:29,319
when you're hanging
around outside the bog
93
00:04:29,343 --> 00:04:34,158
waiting for a bunch of
women to stop fannying about?
94
00:04:34,182 --> 00:04:37,128
You do get yourself worked
up, don't you, Inspector?
95
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,197
You really should try
and diffuse your tension.
96
00:04:40,221 --> 00:04:42,489
Have you thought about
irrigating your colon?
97
00:04:45,259 --> 00:04:48,238
Not really. I don't
do a lot of gardening.
98
00:04:48,262 --> 00:04:50,307
Inspector Grim,
99
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:53,410
it is 8:51 and 42 seconds.
100
00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:56,047
With respect, if you consult your rota,
101
00:04:56,071 --> 00:04:59,316
I think you'll find that
male time begins at 8:52.
102
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,153
I told you, Fowler.
Women, all the same-
103
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,790
Totally toiletarially territorial.
104
00:05:05,814 --> 00:05:08,059
- Now look, Derek-
- Inspector Grim,
105
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:10,728
we don't like this situation
any more than you do,
106
00:05:10,752 --> 00:05:13,263
- and with better reason.
- What better reason?
107
00:05:13,287 --> 00:05:15,766
- Lots of better reasons.
- Name a better reason.
108
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:18,468
We've been properly
toilet-trained for a start.
109
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,037
Yeah, you lot seem to think
110
00:05:20,061 --> 00:05:22,462
you're supposed to stand
on the bog and aim outwards.
111
00:05:23,564 --> 00:05:25,475
Drips!
112
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:29,080
Women are obsessed with drips!
113
00:05:29,104 --> 00:05:32,672
I say, "Tina, wear a pair of slippers."
114
00:05:34,142 --> 00:05:36,120
Please, really.
115
00:05:36,144 --> 00:05:38,255
Really, now. Please, please.
116
00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,848
Now, now... Now, please.
117
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,195
Really.
118
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,364
The situation is as it is, and we
must simply make the best of it.
119
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:50,267
I've scheduled a meeting
with the regional auditor,
120
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:52,336
but he is notoriously tighter
121
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,339
than an Italian tenor's trouser buttons,
122
00:05:55,363 --> 00:05:58,843
so I hold out little hope for
extra funds this financial year.
123
00:05:58,867 --> 00:06:01,902
Clearly, I cannot take money
from our crime-fighting activities.
124
00:06:01,975 --> 00:06:04,263
Why?
We never solve any burglaries.
125
00:06:04,288 --> 00:06:07,248
Why don't we investigate half as many, sir?
126
00:06:07,273 --> 00:06:11,404
We'd cut our failure rate by fifty percent,
and afford new toliets into the bargain.
127
00:06:11,443 --> 00:06:14,803
Such cynisim is depressing in one so young,
Habib.
128
00:06:14,828 --> 00:06:18,310
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm late for my morning movement.
129
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,828
Look what I've got, Frank.
130
00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:33,794
Some of that new male
Calvin Klein perfume.
131
00:06:33,818 --> 00:06:37,097
Dead cool, dead street.
132
00:06:37,121 --> 00:06:40,100
Really gets the babes horny.
133
00:06:40,124 --> 00:06:43,370
You know, I reckon when Constanble
Habib gets a whiff of this,
134
00:06:43,394 --> 00:06:46,040
she'll say, "whey-hey!
Climb aboard, big boy!"
135
00:06:46,064 --> 00:06:48,042
And fall at my feet.
136
00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:49,810
Kevin-
137
00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:52,013
Kevin, it'll take more
than a whiff of perfume
138
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,515
to make Maggie Habib fall at your feet.
139
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:57,384
Maybe you should try chloroform, eh?
140
00:06:57,408 --> 00:07:01,712
It's supposed to be evocative
of a man's testicles.
141
00:07:03,181 --> 00:07:05,159
No, I don't mean that.
142
00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:07,461
What is it that blokes
have that makes them sexy?
143
00:07:07,485 --> 00:07:09,296
Mmm... Sunglasses?
144
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:13,457
No, it's close to testicles,
only a little bit longer.
145
00:07:15,126 --> 00:07:18,906
Testosterone, Kevin. Look
at it wrapped in a towel.
146
00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:22,710
Give us a splash. I've got
lager seeping out my pores.
147
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,780
In the boozer till 2:00.
16 cans of special brew
148
00:07:25,804 --> 00:07:27,314
and nothing to eat but peanuts.
149
00:07:27,338 --> 00:07:28,849
I could've pebbledashed the pub.
150
00:07:28,873 --> 00:07:31,018
2:00?
151
00:07:31,042 --> 00:07:33,187
That's way past closing time.
152
00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:36,123
Closing time's for plebs, not us.
153
00:07:36,147 --> 00:07:39,060
The lock-in is a
traditional copper's perk.
154
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,404
Like sticking your siren on
when you're late for dinner.
155
00:07:41,436 --> 00:07:43,834
We're having anothe lock-in on Friday.
How about coming out?
156
00:07:43,865 --> 00:07:45,912
Heh, You be careful, son.
157
00:07:46,521 --> 00:07:48,970
Once, when I was starting
off as a Constable
158
00:07:48,994 --> 00:07:52,615
I got drinking with some other
silly young coppers when, suddenly
159
00:07:52,787 --> 00:07:54,975
in walked our Chief Insepctor.
160
00:07:55,193 --> 00:07:57,990
I looked at my watch.
It was 1'o clock.
161
00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:01,686
Quick as a flash, I put a pint on
my head and pretended to be a table.
162
00:08:02,795 --> 00:08:05,553
- And what did the Inspector do?
- He ordered a pint.
163
00:08:05,756 --> 00:08:07,975
It was 1'o clock in the afternoon.
164
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,928
You see, Kev, no problem.
165
00:08:12,053 --> 00:08:14,131
There's a big illegal
late-night drink Friday.
166
00:08:14,155 --> 00:08:16,200
Lots of the boys're coming
out. You come out too.
167
00:08:16,224 --> 00:08:17,935
Yes, I don't know about that, Gary.
168
00:08:17,959 --> 00:08:20,905
As a policeman I just don't feel
comfortable breaking the law.
169
00:08:20,929 --> 00:08:23,740
- I know that sounds stupid-
- Look, mate...
170
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:26,310
coppers stick together.
171
00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:29,179
And if we have to bend the
rules, then we do it together.
172
00:08:29,203 --> 00:08:31,081
That's the police culture.
173
00:08:31,105 --> 00:08:32,849
And you'll do a lot better on the force
174
00:08:32,873 --> 00:08:35,575
if you admit you're one
of us from the start.
175
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:39,132
- So you come out, all right?
- I'm out on Friday.
176
00:08:39,157 --> 00:08:40,847
Yeah.
177
00:08:53,452 --> 00:08:55,496
Um... Patricia?
178
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,433
Regarding the current
dysfunctional nature
179
00:08:58,457 --> 00:09:01,669
of the non-male persons' locker room...
180
00:09:01,693 --> 00:09:04,128
the ladies loos, yes?
181
00:09:06,332 --> 00:09:09,410
Well...
182
00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:12,147
I wonder if you could
inform your compatriots
183
00:09:12,171 --> 00:09:14,182
of the female variety
184
00:09:14,206 --> 00:09:18,753
that I am, of course,
arranging for the ladies'...
185
00:09:18,777 --> 00:09:21,089
you know, the ladies', um...
186
00:09:21,113 --> 00:09:24,726
machine...
187
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:26,094
to be moved.
188
00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:27,752
The what?
189
00:09:29,454 --> 00:09:31,299
The ladies' machine.
190
00:09:31,323 --> 00:09:35,737
You know, the mechanized purveyor of...
191
00:09:35,761 --> 00:09:39,330
purificatory dressings.
192
00:09:43,969 --> 00:09:47,782
Swabs...
193
00:09:47,806 --> 00:09:51,186
sanitationary compresses...
194
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:55,046
applications-
internal and external-
195
00:09:56,315 --> 00:09:58,860
Ladies', for the use of,
196
00:09:58,884 --> 00:10:01,029
as and when required,
197
00:10:01,053 --> 00:10:03,198
traditionally...
198
00:10:03,222 --> 00:10:05,700
on a monthly basis.
199
00:10:05,724 --> 00:10:07,626
Raymond,
there's nothing embarrassing about tam-
200
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,304
No, no, no, no.
201
00:10:09,328 --> 00:10:12,997
No, what an idea.
Blimey. Embarrassed? Ha!
202
00:10:14,566 --> 00:10:17,145
I talk about them all the time.
203
00:10:17,169 --> 00:10:18,679
Rarely not talking about them.
204
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:21,482
Get quite boring on the
subject, as a matter of fact.
205
00:10:21,506 --> 00:10:23,952
Oh, no. Anyway...
206
00:10:23,976 --> 00:10:26,187
the, um- well, the, um...
207
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:29,324
thingy machine will be relocated
208
00:10:29,348 --> 00:10:31,326
in the male locker room
209
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:34,396
in a suitably discreet darkened corner.
210
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:36,965
Unless of course, you'd
rather we put it in the cellar?
211
00:10:36,989 --> 00:10:38,566
You know, to save embarrassment.
212
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:42,703
- No, the locker room will be fine.
- Oh, good, good.
213
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:46,230
So in the broom cupboard behind
the cistern it goes, then.
214
00:10:56,808 --> 00:11:01,055
The vile scourge of drugs
has arrived in Gasforth.
215
00:11:01,079 --> 00:11:03,558
Some people won't admit it,
216
00:11:03,582 --> 00:11:07,285
but I for one am not gonna
bury my head in an ostrich.
217
00:11:09,755 --> 00:11:13,735
Kids are already taking "E"
218
00:11:13,759 --> 00:11:16,104
Openly, in clubs.
219
00:11:16,128 --> 00:11:18,696
And that is only the
thin end of the bush.
220
00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:23,745
Today, it's "E."
221
00:11:23,769 --> 00:11:26,838
Next week it might be "F..."
222
00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:32,009
Possibly even "G."
223
00:11:33,446 --> 00:11:37,559
Tomorrow night there is gonna
be a rave at the Old Gasworks.
224
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,193
C.I.D. officers,
225
00:11:39,217 --> 00:11:44,666
led by Detective
Inspector Derek Grim-
226
00:11:44,690 --> 00:11:47,268
In the person of myself,
227
00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:49,604
for that is me-
228
00:11:49,628 --> 00:11:54,142
Will be in attendance, and
also it is where we will be.
229
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:56,300
That is all.
230
00:11:56,454 --> 00:12:01,133
Furtther information, as and if and when,
and as and if required.
231
00:12:05,636 --> 00:12:09,182
Drugs. Drugs.
232
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,417
What is wrong with young people today,
233
00:12:11,441 --> 00:12:14,187
with their uppers, downers,
234
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,223
poppers, toppers,
235
00:12:16,247 --> 00:12:20,426
speed, whizz, crack, junk,
236
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:23,029
smack, splosh, zing,
237
00:12:23,053 --> 00:12:25,498
bonk, barf, oink, wham-bam?
238
00:12:25,523 --> 00:12:28,522
Oops,
I've just destroyed the family brain cell.
239
00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:32,402
Can't they amuse themselves
without chemical stimulation?
240
00:12:32,427 --> 00:12:35,763
Haven't they heard of monopoly?
241
00:12:37,064 --> 00:12:38,942
I suppose they're
just not as boring-
242
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,679
I mean, as sensible as you were, sir.
243
00:12:41,703 --> 00:12:43,480
They're looking for
something more exciting.
244
00:12:43,504 --> 00:12:44,948
Exciting?
245
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:49,587
Have you ever had hotels
on Mayfair and Park Lane?
246
00:12:49,611 --> 00:12:51,812
You can make a fortune.
247
00:12:52,158 --> 00:12:55,517
That damn sounds more exciting than
flinging your head with chemicals and,
248
00:12:55,564 --> 00:12:58,132
pranzing about,
drinking Lucozade for eigh hours.
249
00:12:58,157 --> 00:13:00,939
I can nothing exciting about that,
whatsoever.
250
00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:04,822
Well, that's not quite true.
251
00:13:04,861 --> 00:13:06,669
I do recall, that as a youngster
252
00:13:06,693 --> 00:13:10,337
I could get pretty worked up at
the prospect of a glass of Lucozade
253
00:13:11,949 --> 00:13:14,791
But, great plates of wobbly custard,
254
00:13:14,815 --> 00:13:17,560
why this need for sensory stimulants?
255
00:13:17,584 --> 00:13:19,028
When I was an adolescent,
256
00:13:19,052 --> 00:13:21,431
my idea of a major sensory stimulant
257
00:13:21,455 --> 00:13:23,489
was sucking on a fisherman's friend.
258
00:13:26,927 --> 00:13:29,729
Have I said something
amusing, Constanble Goody?
259
00:13:31,832 --> 00:13:34,778
Oh, yes, sir, definitely.
260
00:13:34,802 --> 00:13:38,648
Really? Then perhaps you'd
like to explain the joke to me.
261
00:13:38,672 --> 00:13:40,684
Yes, I will.
262
00:13:40,708 --> 00:13:41,951
Well, sir, you said
263
00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:43,186
that you were stimulated
264
00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:45,211
by sucking on a fisherman's friend.
265
00:13:47,614 --> 00:13:50,193
And I think that's very funny.
266
00:13:50,217 --> 00:13:53,596
I see. And why do you find
it funny, Constanble Goody?
267
00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:57,857
They're horrible, aren't
they? Everyone knows that.
268
00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:05,575
I'm gonna clean up this town, Boyle.
269
00:14:05,599 --> 00:14:09,045
Drugs are the effluence of society,
270
00:14:09,069 --> 00:14:12,004
and I'm the toilet duck.
271
00:14:14,608 --> 00:14:16,820
I'll show these bloody kids
272
00:14:16,844 --> 00:14:19,989
when Grim of Gasforth puts
his backside on the line,
273
00:14:20,013 --> 00:14:23,159
they can't just stick two fingers up.
274
00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:24,939
Yeah.
275
00:14:25,591 --> 00:14:27,603
If kids want to
destroy their bodies
276
00:14:27,627 --> 00:14:30,088
why don't they drink 10 pints
of larger like sensible adults
277
00:14:30,113 --> 00:14:32,514
what's wrong with being bored,
anyway?
278
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,750
The rest of us have to sit
at home in front of the telly,
279
00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:38,753
- why shouldn't they?
- I'll tell you what, sir,
280
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,522
me and some of the lads have organized
281
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,323
A lock-in after tomorrow night's raid.
282
00:14:42,347 --> 00:14:44,125
Why don't you get in on it?
283
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:46,995
I don't know, Boyle. I don't
normally do that sort of thing.
284
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:49,397
Oh come on, sir.
285
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,432
You spend all evening
chasing drug addicts
286
00:14:51,456 --> 00:14:54,035
and you can't even have a
little drinky at the end of it?
287
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,894
That can't be right, now can it, eh?
288
00:15:11,276 --> 00:15:13,021
Kevin!
289
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,188
What are you doing?
290
00:15:14,212 --> 00:15:16,881
Just giving you a whiff
of my "testostricles."
291
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:21,062
I shall speak to your mother.
292
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,955
Oh, Maggie, Maggie,
Maggie, Maggie-
293
00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:28,135
Can I talk to you about something?
294
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,705
It's just that I've got
a sort of moral dilemma.
295
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:33,074
You see, Gary Boyle
has been going on at me
296
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,509
about coming out.
297
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:38,412
- He wants you to come out?
- Yes.
298
00:15:38,436 --> 00:15:41,983
He wants me to come out and
admit that I'm one of them.
299
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,719
What's it got to do with
him? Tell him to bug off.
300
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:46,353
No, no, no, you see in so many ways,
301
00:15:46,377 --> 00:15:48,723
I feel that I'd actually
quite like to, you know?
302
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:51,926
But it isn't easy, what with
being a policeman and everything.
303
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,595
Oh, I see.
304
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,863
Well, whatever you decide to do, Kevin,
305
00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:58,432
I want you to know I think
you're being really brave,
306
00:15:58,456 --> 00:16:01,191
and I really admire you.
307
00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:10,668
This perfume is sex dynamite.
308
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:14,238
I'm gonna dunk my trousers in it.
309
00:16:16,374 --> 00:16:19,487
- Do you want a splash?
- Listen, son,
310
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,389
A woman likes to smell a man
311
00:16:22,413 --> 00:16:24,626
as nature intended-
312
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:28,696
Sweat, guinness and pickled onions.
313
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,088
You can't bottle that.
314
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,172
I'm off for my rebirthing.
315
00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:39,874
Ah, yes, rebirthing.
316
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:42,877
Just remember to pick me up at 10:00.
317
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,612
Patricia, I'm hardly likely
318
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:46,748
to leave a newborn
baby to fend for itself
319
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,850
in the sports center car park, now am I?
320
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:50,551
Mmm.
321
00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:52,887
There's one reborn every minute.
322
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:55,389
You don't think much of
sergeant Dawkins' interest
323
00:16:55,413 --> 00:16:57,291
in alternative inner
healing, do you, sir?
324
00:16:57,315 --> 00:17:01,162
Why is everybody searching
for this something inside them?
325
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,430
Patricia and her quest
for the inner woman,
326
00:17:03,454 --> 00:17:05,232
children and their drugs.
327
00:17:05,256 --> 00:17:07,869
It's an alternative culture now, sir.
328
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,905
People are asking questions,
they want to know who they are.
329
00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:13,430
Then they should damn well
look at their passports.
330
00:17:14,632 --> 00:17:17,078
Alternative culture, heh.
331
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:20,081
I remember when our idea
of alternative culture
332
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:23,584
was turning over to ITV.
333
00:17:23,608 --> 00:17:26,020
People have too much choice these days.
334
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:30,848
Did you know that you can
get an almond mars bar?
335
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:35,362
An almond mars bar?
336
00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:38,365
Mars bars got by for over 50
years without almonds in them.
337
00:17:38,389 --> 00:17:40,534
Yes, sir.
338
00:17:40,558 --> 00:17:43,037
They've put caramel in the wispas.
339
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:46,107
We live in a debauched, hedonistic age.
340
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,209
Young people are addicted to pleasure.
341
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,944
Not all young people, sir.
342
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,513
My little sister's addicted
to organized religion,
343
00:17:52,537 --> 00:17:55,316
- exams, and net ball.
- Mmm.
344
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,752
She sounds like a very fine young woman.
345
00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,421
Proof that not all young
people are decadent wastrels.
346
00:18:00,445 --> 00:18:03,958
Ah, Maggie-a young lady for
you. Says she's your sister.
347
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:06,984
- Hello, Maggie.
- Hello, Nazia.
348
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,131
This is my little sister Nazia, sir.
349
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,533
Ah, splendid, splendid.
350
00:18:12,557 --> 00:18:15,803
Welcome to Gasforth, Nazia.
I'm sure you'll love it.
351
00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:19,273
We have a museum, a small library
352
00:18:19,297 --> 00:18:23,211
and a fascinating 18th
century stone horse trough.
353
00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:26,247
Stuff that. Soon as I got my
glad rags on, I'm out raving.
354
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,216
Better change if you want to come, Mags.
355
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,607
You look like a right
tosspot in that pig's costume.
356
00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:50,873
I've brought you milk.
357
00:18:51,027 --> 00:18:54,402
Can you no be too long learning to walk?
Because I'm parked on a metre.
358
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,119
Thank you, Raymond.
359
00:18:56,151 --> 00:19:00,081
I'm only five seconds and
already my innosense is gone.
360
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,262
Make yourself
at home, why don't you?
361
00:19:08,287 --> 00:19:09,922
All right if I smoke?
362
00:19:09,946 --> 00:19:11,786
You haven't started smoking cigarettes,
have you?
363
00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:13,801
- Just grass.
- Nazia!
364
00:19:13,826 --> 00:19:16,465
Go on, flush that down
the toilet right now.
365
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,586
You realize,
it's actually my duty to arrest you?
366
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:19,735
Go on then.
367
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,375
- Or at least tell mom.
- You wouldn't.
368
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,095
Just get rid off it, now!
369
00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:27,610
Ooh!
370
00:19:27,931 --> 00:19:30,210
One minute late. Very sorry, Maggie.
371
00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:32,380
That's all right, Kevin.
372
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,915
Kevin... yes, yes, yes.
373
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:36,784
- I don't want to pry...
- Yes.
374
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:40,388
...But I was wondering whether you
thought more about your coming out.
375
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,990
Well, yes I have... Lots.
376
00:19:43,014 --> 00:19:44,925
But it's very confusing, you know.
377
00:19:44,949 --> 00:19:47,762
Sometimes I swing one
way, sometimes the other.
378
00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:52,323
- Oh I see... Bi.
- Bye.
379
00:19:54,492 --> 00:19:56,704
Morning, doll. Sorry
to keep you waiting.
380
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:59,006
I was up all night at a
lock-in. Had to shower off.
381
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,275
Lovely, very
refreshing. Hey-
382
00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:03,544
I found some lovely
scented soap in there.
383
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:06,414
Peach shampoo and sea-fresh deodorant.
384
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:08,916
I like having birds in our bogs.
385
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:11,074
Oh, I could shag myself.
386
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:18,892
Don't forget I've got my
reflexology this evening, Raymond.
387
00:20:18,916 --> 00:20:22,496
Ah, yes... Reflexology.
Which one's that again?
388
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:26,834
It's a terrific shortcut
to all-body well-being.
389
00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:29,637
Every part of you is represented
on the sole of the foot.
390
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:32,473
So any pain or uptightness
391
00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:35,776
can be alleviated by
firmly massaging the foot.
392
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:40,348
So here is the liver, and
the colon, and the buttocks-
393
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:44,375
And, uh... Where is the
foot represented on the foot?
394
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:49,357
Um...
395
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:52,983
- well, I-
- supposing I had a really sore foot?
396
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:58,366
How would you soothe my foot?
397
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:02,559
By grabbing my foot and sticking
your thumbs into my foot?
398
00:21:03,728 --> 00:21:07,174
Raymond, do I ask you
to logically justify
399
00:21:07,198 --> 00:21:08,709
your covering the kitchen table
400
00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:10,911
with a balsa wood model
of a lancaster bomber?
401
00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:13,036
No, but I'll be quite happy to.
402
00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:16,216
Constable Boyle-
403
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,819
For the final time, if
you're going to use my soap,
404
00:21:18,843 --> 00:21:23,257
could you please remove your hairs
from it once you've finished?!
405
00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:25,259
You're Mrs. Squeamish.
406
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:28,462
It's just benign,
non-volatile dead cell matter.
407
00:21:28,486 --> 00:21:31,198
It is benign, non-volatile
dead cell matter
408
00:21:31,222 --> 00:21:33,290
that grew out of your scrotum!
409
00:21:35,226 --> 00:21:36,970
And I hate it. How do you do it?
410
00:21:36,994 --> 00:21:39,206
I could've stuffed a mattress by now.
411
00:21:39,230 --> 00:21:41,975
Each day I gouge a small
toupee off the soap,
412
00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:43,677
and the next day it's back,
413
00:21:43,701 --> 00:21:46,747
looking like a member
of the grateful dead.
414
00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:50,050
Inspector Fowler-I would
like to lodge a formal protest
415
00:21:50,074 --> 00:21:52,152
against having to share a locker room
416
00:21:52,176 --> 00:21:54,388
with the gruesome fallout
from Constanble Boyle's
417
00:21:54,412 --> 00:21:57,047
rapidly balding bodily parts.
418
00:21:57,831 --> 00:22:00,605
The situation really is most intolerrable.
419
00:22:00,630 --> 00:22:03,628
But, unless I can get some extra
cash out of the regional order tab,
420
00:22:03,653 --> 00:22:07,050
a man who does not recognize the verb:
To spend.
421
00:22:07,601 --> 00:22:11,585
Then I'm afraid we are all stuck
in the same lavotory till Christmas.
422
00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:16,841
No fannying about.
423
00:22:17,216 --> 00:22:21,255
And above all,
no fannying about.
424
00:22:22,016 --> 00:22:25,996
We assemble at 011:30 hundred hours
425
00:22:26,020 --> 00:22:28,699
P.M. in the evening.
426
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:31,091
That is all. Let's go, go, go.
427
00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:34,305
Big raid this, quite exciting.
428
00:22:34,329 --> 00:22:37,097
Hope we get some dealers,
not just silly kids.
429
00:22:38,767 --> 00:22:41,602
Do you fancy a bit of chewing
gum to calm your nerves?
430
00:22:43,104 --> 00:22:46,317
It's a new brand- fresh n' easy.
431
00:22:46,341 --> 00:22:48,519
Got it out of the machine
in the locker room.
432
00:22:48,543 --> 00:22:50,544
Sounds great.
433
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:59,587
Gives you a great fresh feel all day...
434
00:23:01,155 --> 00:23:03,901
helps you get on with life
435
00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:05,926
and no leaking.
436
00:23:09,498 --> 00:23:11,442
Which is great, isn't it?
437
00:23:11,466 --> 00:23:14,979
Because I often dribble
a bit if I try and chew
438
00:23:15,003 --> 00:23:17,114
and watch television at the same time.
439
00:23:17,138 --> 00:23:19,072
Oh, yes.
440
00:23:23,478 --> 00:23:25,923
Great satan's sponge-bag,
you imbecile boy!
441
00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:29,494
- Watch where you're going.
- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
442
00:23:29,518 --> 00:23:31,629
Sir, with respect,
443
00:23:31,653 --> 00:23:34,532
I think you should be a bit
more understanding with Kevin.
444
00:23:34,556 --> 00:23:36,534
He's a bit distracted, you see.
445
00:23:36,558 --> 00:23:39,292
The thing is he's told
me that he's coming out.
446
00:23:42,063 --> 00:23:44,041
Coming out?
447
00:23:44,065 --> 00:23:46,043
Do you mean coming out
448
00:23:46,067 --> 00:23:49,547
as a "Guardian" reader
would understand the term?
449
00:23:49,571 --> 00:23:51,916
Absolutely, sir.
450
00:23:51,940 --> 00:23:53,417
Oh, I see.
451
00:23:53,441 --> 00:23:56,410
I must go out of my way
to put him at his ease.
452
00:23:57,579 --> 00:24:00,591
Now then, Goody...
453
00:24:00,615 --> 00:24:03,694
um... I've asked you to come and see me
454
00:24:03,718 --> 00:24:07,821
on a matter about which
I feel no embarrassment...
455
00:24:10,358 --> 00:24:13,260
no embarrassment, whatsoever.
456
00:24:14,596 --> 00:24:17,408
Constable Habib has informed me
457
00:24:17,432 --> 00:24:19,410
that you're worried about-
458
00:24:19,434 --> 00:24:21,312
About, um...
459
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:22,980
coming out.
460
00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:26,139
Well...
461
00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:30,020
I suppose it has been
on my mind sir, yes.
462
00:24:30,044 --> 00:24:33,291
- You mustn't worry yourself unduly, Goody.
- That's good, sir.
463
00:24:33,315 --> 00:24:34,392
Because Gary Boyle
464
00:24:34,416 --> 00:24:36,360
says that having a
sly quickie after work
465
00:24:36,384 --> 00:24:37,784
is a police tradition.
466
00:24:38,953 --> 00:24:41,599
- He said that?
- Oh, yes.
467
00:24:41,623 --> 00:24:43,033
He says that if a bloke
468
00:24:43,057 --> 00:24:45,769
can't get a couple of stiff
ones down his neck after work,
469
00:24:45,793 --> 00:24:48,596
then what's the point of being a copper?
470
00:24:50,298 --> 00:24:53,811
He reckons that the pub lock-in
is all part of police culture.
471
00:24:53,835 --> 00:24:56,347
Pub lock-in?
472
00:24:56,371 --> 00:24:59,350
You mean you've been asked to
come out for an illegal drink?
473
00:24:59,374 --> 00:25:00,851
That's what's been worrying you?
474
00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:03,287
Yes, C.I.D. do it all the time.
475
00:25:03,311 --> 00:25:05,489
I'm really pleased
it doesn't bother you.
476
00:25:05,513 --> 00:25:07,592
I'll tell you what, I'll
be stuck into the malibu
477
00:25:07,616 --> 00:25:09,493
at the "frog and truncheon" tonight.
478
00:25:09,517 --> 00:25:11,329
And if you do, you appalling youth,
479
00:25:11,353 --> 00:25:12,981
you'll be stuck in a
cell tomorrow morning.
480
00:25:13,005 --> 00:25:16,050
I'm aware there are certain
nod-and-a-wink customs
481
00:25:16,074 --> 00:25:18,086
in which C.I.D. officers ignore the law,
482
00:25:18,110 --> 00:25:21,089
but I will not allow the
corruption of my officers.
483
00:25:21,113 --> 00:25:24,581
Quite frankly, I preferred
you when you were a homosexual.
484
00:25:26,385 --> 00:25:27,551
Get out.
485
00:25:32,783 --> 00:25:36,158
Bang'em up, Boyle,
bang'em in the hull.
486
00:25:36,192 --> 00:25:37,635
All right,
487
00:25:37,659 --> 00:25:42,040
I want urine from all this lot.
488
00:25:42,064 --> 00:25:45,867
Would somebody kindly take the urine?
489
00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:49,147
Check their eyeballs.
490
00:25:49,171 --> 00:25:51,950
If the pupils are dislocated, nick 'em.
491
00:25:51,974 --> 00:25:55,301
Look for the signs of addiction-
492
00:25:55,326 --> 00:25:57,245
A distant stare,
493
00:25:58,428 --> 00:26:00,442
regular truancy,
494
00:26:00,467 --> 00:26:03,078
loss of appetite at mealtimes.
495
00:26:03,102 --> 00:26:05,136
Boyle, Timmy!
496
00:26:22,454 --> 00:26:25,256
You didn't get rid of it, did you?
497
00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:31,529
I'll never forgive you for this, Nazia.
498
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:35,368
Alright.
499
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,727
Those who've not been
arrested are free to
500
00:26:37,752 --> 00:26:42,102
continue the normal way
of the fabric of society.
501
00:26:42,148 --> 00:26:45,070
The rest of you with me.
Go! go! go!
502
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,289
I have no excuse, sir.
503
00:27:16,313 --> 00:27:19,159
I was protecting my sister.
504
00:27:19,183 --> 00:27:22,229
You understand that I'm
going to have to charge you?
505
00:27:22,253 --> 00:27:24,064
Yes, sir.
506
00:27:24,088 --> 00:27:26,066
You fool, Constanble.
507
00:27:26,090 --> 00:27:28,168
What madness possessed you?
508
00:27:28,192 --> 00:27:30,270
She's my little sister, sir.
509
00:27:30,294 --> 00:27:32,672
My mom would've died.
510
00:27:32,696 --> 00:27:35,165
She'd be-
511
00:27:37,168 --> 00:27:39,236
Go to your desk, Constanble.
512
00:27:45,576 --> 00:27:47,443
Derek...
513
00:27:50,381 --> 00:27:54,828
Constanble Habib is by far
and away my best officer.
514
00:27:54,852 --> 00:27:58,598
She already represents a public
investment of many thousands of pounds.
515
00:27:58,622 --> 00:28:01,235
What are you suggesting,
Inspector Fowler?
516
00:28:01,259 --> 00:28:03,303
I am suggesting...
517
00:28:03,327 --> 00:28:05,773
that we do not charge her.
518
00:28:05,797 --> 00:28:08,108
She has a fine career ahead of her,
519
00:28:08,132 --> 00:28:10,911
and because of one insane
moment of filial loyalty-
520
00:28:10,935 --> 00:28:13,280
I don't believe I'm hearing this!
521
00:28:13,304 --> 00:28:16,650
Inspector high and mighty
522
00:28:16,674 --> 00:28:19,686
snooty snotty hoity-toity Fowler
523
00:28:19,710 --> 00:28:22,990
- wants me to break the law?
- I know!
524
00:28:23,014 --> 00:28:25,225
I know.
525
00:28:25,249 --> 00:28:27,784
But she was just trying
to help her little sister.
526
00:28:29,553 --> 00:28:32,565
And when her little
sister is a drug baron
527
00:28:32,589 --> 00:28:34,701
defending an armored crack house
528
00:28:34,725 --> 00:28:37,504
with a shoulder-held missile launcher,
529
00:28:37,528 --> 00:28:40,274
will it be all right to help her then?
530
00:28:40,298 --> 00:28:42,910
No. I don't like it,
531
00:28:42,934 --> 00:28:45,645
but I know my duty.
532
00:28:45,669 --> 00:28:47,871
We're charging her.
533
00:28:50,507 --> 00:28:52,820
It's been a long night.
534
00:28:52,844 --> 00:28:57,613
Right, Boyle, what about
that drink we were discussing?
535
00:29:08,159 --> 00:29:11,271
- Cheers.
- Thank you very much, sir.
536
00:29:11,295 --> 00:29:13,073
You're very welcome, Boyle.
537
00:29:13,097 --> 00:29:15,675
We can settle up later.
538
00:29:15,699 --> 00:29:18,445
I reckon this raid might
mean promotion for you, sir.
539
00:29:18,469 --> 00:29:20,513
Well, I can't deny I am rather expecting
540
00:29:20,537 --> 00:29:22,716
A call from a grateful chief Constanble.
541
00:29:22,740 --> 00:29:25,018
Ah, I can't see anything
going wrong with that.
542
00:29:25,042 --> 00:29:27,287
Hey, unless we get raided.
543
00:29:27,311 --> 00:29:30,090
All right, you lot-
it's well past closing time.
544
00:29:30,114 --> 00:29:31,825
You're all under arrest.
545
00:29:31,849 --> 00:29:34,084
Out through the bog,
sir, old copper's trick.
546
00:29:37,321 --> 00:29:41,134
The problem with old copper's
tricks, Constanble Boyle,
547
00:29:41,158 --> 00:29:43,603
is that old coppers know 'em.
548
00:29:43,627 --> 00:29:46,273
Don't do me for this, Fowler.
549
00:29:46,297 --> 00:29:48,842
I've never done anything like it before.
550
00:29:48,866 --> 00:29:52,312
A conviction would ruin my career.
551
00:29:52,336 --> 00:29:55,505
Never mind, Inspector Grim, it
was never a very promising one...
552
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,310
unlike Constanble Habib's.
553
00:30:03,580 --> 00:30:07,594
You can't compare
withholding evidence of drugs
554
00:30:07,618 --> 00:30:10,797
with a friendly little lock-in.
555
00:30:10,821 --> 00:30:13,901
Really? I think you'll find that I can.
556
00:30:13,925 --> 00:30:16,803
Also, I think you'll find
that the promotions board
557
00:30:16,827 --> 00:30:19,606
will be inclined to view
any criminal conviction
558
00:30:19,630 --> 00:30:22,842
as something of a blot
on a policeman's record.
559
00:30:22,866 --> 00:30:26,980
All right, I won't charge Habib.
560
00:30:27,004 --> 00:30:31,084
In that case, I won't
charge you or Boyle.
561
00:30:31,108 --> 00:30:33,853
I've got a couple of
outstanding parking tickets, sir.
562
00:30:33,877 --> 00:30:36,246
You think you can get me off those?
563
00:30:38,816 --> 00:30:41,995
I'm terribly sorry to keep
you waiting, Mr. Glockenspiel,
564
00:30:42,019 --> 00:30:44,564
but I've been assembling the
relevant financial reports
565
00:30:44,588 --> 00:30:46,133
regarding the ladies' locker room.
566
00:30:46,157 --> 00:30:49,336
No rush, you won't get
a penny out of me anyway.
567
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,338
I took the liberty of making myself
568
00:30:51,362 --> 00:30:53,206
A mug of bovril whilst I was waiting.
569
00:30:53,230 --> 00:30:55,775
- Your very good health.
- Bovril?
570
00:30:55,799 --> 00:30:58,345
Yes, my favorite beverage-
571
00:30:58,369 --> 00:31:01,714
Nutritious, and above all, cheap.
572
00:31:01,738 --> 00:31:05,218
I saw that cube on your desk.
573
00:31:05,242 --> 00:31:07,054
So I made free with your kettle.
574
00:31:07,078 --> 00:31:09,579
- No!
- Oh, don't worry, I've left you half.
575
00:31:13,184 --> 00:31:15,595
Quick, get a requisition slip.
576
00:31:15,619 --> 00:31:19,599
Mr. Glockenspiel says we can have
as many lavatories as we like.
577
00:31:19,623 --> 00:31:23,170
In fact, he's offered to put
in jacuzzis and a steam room.
578
00:31:23,194 --> 00:31:25,305
Also, he's asked for kebabs, pizzas
579
00:31:25,329 --> 00:31:27,774
and 15 king-size mars bars-
580
00:31:27,798 --> 00:31:30,077
No almonds.
581
00:31:30,101 --> 00:31:33,370
Right then, Henry, let's talk toilets.
41873
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