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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,592 (bell rings) 2 00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:05,765 ♪ When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ♪ 3 00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:08,639 ♪ I don't think I'll ever make it on time ♪ 4 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:11,543 ♪ By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ♪ 5 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:15,038 ♪ I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ♪ 6 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:17,073 ♪ It's all right ♪ 7 00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:20,747 ♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 8 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,917 ♪ If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ♪ 9 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:26,882 ♪ And my dog ate all my homework last night ♪ 10 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,760 ♪ Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ♪ 11 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:33,256 ♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ♪ 12 00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:35,291 ♪ It's all right ♪ 13 00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:43,302 ♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪ 14 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,082 ♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪ 15 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,716 ♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪ 16 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:05,724 ♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 17 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:11,536 This week's topic in speech class is entitled "My Best Friend." 18 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,906 All right, our next public talker will be Mr. A.C. Slater. 19 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,070 You ready or what? 20 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,102 Oh, by the way, our speech teacher got sick, 21 00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:21,342 and Coach Rizzo is filling in. 22 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:25,148 - I'm ready. - Hey, move me. 23 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,415 Okay. Listen up. 24 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:30,446 My best friend is somebody I've known a long time. 25 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,983 We've traveled all over the world together. 26 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,859 He speaks my language. 27 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:40,630 And no matter what happens, he's always there for me. 28 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,592 He's true blue, except when he's green or brown, 29 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:46,732 'cause you see, my best friend is my chameleon, 30 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:52,235 Artie. 31 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,009 (girls sigh) 32 00:01:54,014 --> 00:02:00,750 Hey, I am deeply touched here. 33 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,018 Hey, guys, watch what Artie can do. 34 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:09,156 All right, Artie, come on. Give me a "nosie." 35 00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:11,460 Slater, that was great. 36 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,990 Hey, I'll give you a nosie too. 37 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,662 That was a great trick, Slater. How'd you get him to do that? 38 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:20,402 Well, Screech, it took a lot of patience, and a lot of flies. 39 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,466 Do you mind? I'm eating. 40 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,274 - You want to hold him, Preppie? - No thanks. 41 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:28,612 I'd prefer holding something cute, and female. 42 00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:33,075 Buy a poodle, okay? 43 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,815 I think he's cute. 44 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,915 How'd you end up with a chameleon as a pet anyway? 45 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:40,518 Artie found me when my dad was stationed in the Philippines. 46 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:43,895 Since then we've been through 14 schools together. 47 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,889 He's the only friend I haven't had to say goodbye to. 48 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,858 So why don't you two go steady? 49 00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:53,840 Screech, you love animals. How about watching Artie for me 50 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,865 while I go to San Diego this weekend? 51 00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,105 You really trust me to chameleon-sit? 52 00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:03,777 I trust anyone who names all the ants on his ant farm. 53 00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:05,217 Naming them was easy. 54 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:09,212 It's remembering their birthdays that's tough. 55 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:12,021 Is Artie on any kind of special diet? 56 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,050 Nah, just flies, bugs, 57 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,529 anything you'd find stuck to the windshield of a car. 58 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,463 That's it, I'm out of here. 59 00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:23,198 Screech, don't forget Artie's chew toy. 60 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,570 Oh, how cute. 61 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,939 Come on, let's go catch him some dinner. 62 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,672 I gotta go too. 63 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,009 Hey, Jessie, I'll see you tonight at 7:00, right? 64 00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:34,138 For what? 65 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,514 My speech -- you said you were gonna help me with it. 66 00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,416 I'm sorry, Kelly, I forgot. 67 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,012 My mother's picketing an oil company tonight. 68 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:46,515 I promised I'd chain myself to a "Super Unleaded" pump. 69 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,551 Opportunity knocks. 70 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,189 I think I'll answer it. 71 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,359 I'd be glad to help you with your speech, Kelly. 72 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:56,165 Really, Zack? Why? 73 00:03:56,169 --> 00:04:01,437 Because I'm a generous, caring individual. 74 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:05,674 And she's gorgeous. 75 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:09,080 What do you think? We make a cute couple, don't we? 76 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:14,543 (knocking on door) 77 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:21,017 And here's the beautiful creature now. 78 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:25,089 Screech, what are you doing? Wait-- Kelly's on her way over. 79 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,123 You gotta watch Artie for the rest of the weekend. 80 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,295 - My other pets love him. - What's wrong with that? 81 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:31,168 - They'd love to eat him. - Oh, Screech... 82 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,401 Hi, Zack. I'm sorry, are you busy? 83 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:36,432 No. Screech was just leaving. 84 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:39,468 Remember to give him lots to drink, and no flies after 9:00. 85 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,675 It gives him gas. 86 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,173 I'll keep it in mind. Bye. 87 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:47,142 Hi, Artie. I bet you miss your little buddy Slater. 88 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,019 Oh, yes you do. 89 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:55,587 Why don't you just put Artie down and we'll work on your speech? 90 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,859 - Where do we start? - All right. 91 00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:01,027 The most important thing about public speaking is eye contact. 92 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,765 You want to pick a point in the audience to focus on. 93 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:08,606 - Okay, like what? - How about me? 94 00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,134 Usually a short greeting works well. 95 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,101 - Hi? - Hi. 96 00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,206 Hi! 97 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,240 Hi. Jessie. Bye, Jessie. 98 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,275 Wait, wait, am I interrupting something? 99 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:20,684 Not anymore. Bye-bye. 100 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,621 I thought you were gonna picket the oil company? 101 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,750 We never got there. We ran out of gas. 102 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:28,352 Mom refused to fill up out of principle. 103 00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:31,626 This is great. You can help me with my speech like we planned. 104 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:36,797 - Sure, let's go. - See ya. 105 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,898 Hey, Lisa. Have you seen Slater? He supposed to be back today. 106 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,931 No! And get that thing away from me. 107 00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,966 The only time I come this close to lizardskin, 108 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,605 is when Anne Klein puts a buckle on it. 109 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,103 - Hi. - Hi, guys. 110 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,708 Is that little Artie? Open the box, I want to say good morning. 111 00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:53,152 Okay, okay, but be quiet, he's still sleeping. 112 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:58,283 He stayed up late last night to watch "Godzilla" on TV. 113 00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:01,124 He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. 114 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:06,031 Oh please, you're going ga-ga over something that burps bugs. 115 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,400 - I think he looks a little pale. - Maybe he's sick. 116 00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:12,463 Why would he be sick? Hey, Screech, come here. 117 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,373 Take a peek at Artie. Does he look any different to you? 118 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,809 - No. - See? 119 00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:19,540 Except for the fact that he's dead. 120 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:25,450 Artie's dead? 121 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,579 Come on, you guys, let's not panic. 122 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,022 Maybe he's not really dead. 123 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,185 I took him to English class this morning. 124 00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:36,219 I get it -- he's probably bored stiff. 125 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,824 (dull thumps) 126 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:43,894 Nope, he's as stiff as a board. 127 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:49,933 Should we try CPR? 128 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,241 Bad idea. 129 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:57,342 We should do something -- he was Slater's best friend. 130 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:02,516 Oh, Artie, why'd you have to die? 131 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,286 Lisa, you hated him. 132 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:09,421 I know, but I didn't want the slimy little thing to die. 133 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,161 I just remembered, I left your window open last night, Zack. 134 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,794 Artie probably caught a chill. This is all my fault. 135 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:20,000 No it's not, it's my fault. I put him under a hot desk lamp. 136 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,941 It's all my fault, I left him with Zack. 137 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,411 Should have known he would kill him. 138 00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:28,039 I didn't kill him. 139 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:32,951 Maybe none of us did. I know, he probably died of old age. 140 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,080 You think Slater will blame us? 141 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,386 Here's our chance to find out. 142 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:45,093 Girls: Bye! 143 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,760 - Hey, guys. - Zack: Hey. 144 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,259 How was San Diego? 145 00:07:50,269 --> 00:07:53,432 It was great, but I really missed Artie. 146 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,600 Where is he? 147 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:57,941 He's-- I let him stay over at Zack's place last night, 148 00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:01,278 and well-- take it, Zack. 149 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,046 Well, Slater-- he's not here. 150 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:06,815 You left him at your place? 151 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,880 Yeah. He's still sleeping. 152 00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:12,790 Let me tell you, Artie's a real sound sleeper. 153 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:16,023 When he's out, he's dead to the world. 154 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:20,967 I couldn't have said it better myself. 155 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,902 You know what? Let's ditch class and go get him. 156 00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:26,167 I can't wait to see the little fella. 157 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,664 Oh yes you can. 158 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:32,838 I got a better idea. I'll go pick him up at lunchtime, 159 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,815 - and I'll meet you at the Max. - Okay. 160 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:39,649 Hey, Zack, thanks for watching Artie for me. 161 00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,814 Yeah, sure. 162 00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,313 - Well, that was easy. - Yeah. 163 00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:52,287 Now all we have to do is bring Artie back to life. 164 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,323 It's a miracle, Zack. 165 00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:58,770 Yeah -- a miracle we found a pet shop nearby that sold chameleons. 166 00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,035 He looks exactly like Artie, doesn't he? 167 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,442 Yeah, he's a dead ringer. 168 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:08,745 There's my boy. Come to Papa, Artie. 169 00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:13,777 Jeez, Screech, look how happy Artie is to see Slater. 170 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:15,811 Slater, golly, welcome back. 171 00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:18,052 You were probably wondering what happened to Artie. 172 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,149 No he wasn't. 173 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:23,095 We had a slumber party last night, and Artie was our guest of honor. 174 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,495 Lucky guy. 175 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,022 What's in the shoebox? 176 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:29,525 - Artie. - Yeah, Artie. 177 00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:32,027 But Artie's right here. 178 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:35,030 - That's Artie? - Yeah. 179 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,033 So, how can this be Artie too? 180 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:41,344 Girls: Er-- Zack? 181 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:45,215 Because that's Artie-- 182 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:49,121 short for Artesia. 183 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:52,353 Artie's date for the slumber party. 184 00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:56,261 Wait a second. Something weird is going on here. 185 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,856 I don't think either of these is Artie. 186 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,993 - You don't? - No. 187 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,697 All right, what happened, Preppie? Where's Artie? 188 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,865 Don't tell me you lost him. 189 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:08,603 That's one way of putting it. 190 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,600 Well, don't worry about it. He's probably still in your room. 191 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,636 Just don't know where to look. 192 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:20,746 I'll come by after wrestling practice and we'll find him. 193 00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,552 Slater's bound to find out about Artie eventually. 194 00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:30,223 Yeah. Think he'll pin it on us? 195 00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:37,397 "Sheriff Belding": All right, move it! 196 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:42,773 Face front so the witness can take a good look at you. 197 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:47,770 Witness? What witness? 198 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:50,306 Me, Artie! 199 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,341 You remember me? 200 00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:57,790 The guy in the shoebox with the stiff neck. 201 00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,350 I know my rights. What's the charge? 202 00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:04,387 Reptilicide! Killing a friend's chameleon. 203 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,866 Yeah, yeah, he's guilty. 204 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:11,201 Give him a lifetime of solitary confinement. 205 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:18,736 (aged voice) Take that, you whipper-snapper. 206 00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:22,237 Or maybe the charge is leaving a poor defenseless chameleon 207 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:25,684 in the path of a drafty window? 208 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,744 I didn't do it on purpose. 209 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:31,121 I'm still dead, toots. 210 00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:37,995 Put her on ice for a long time. 211 00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,295 Or was the crime leaving Artie here 212 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:43,234 under the relentless heat of a desk lamp? 213 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:46,297 It was a soft white bulb, sir. 214 00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:49,468 She always was a hot little number. 215 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:52,638 You're gonna fry for this, baby. 216 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,477 Belding: Sss-zzz! 217 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,450 Oh! Ow! Ow! 218 00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:02,411 Or was it just dirty looks that did him in? 219 00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:06,483 Ugh-- her looks could kill. 220 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:11,225 Oh please forgive me. I'll never wear lizardskin again. 221 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:19,230 Sorry, it's polyester for you, "Princess." 222 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,597 The real crime is not what you did, 223 00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:24,633 but what you didn't do. 224 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:28,444 You didn't tell Slater the truth! 225 00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:31,041 Sir, we didn't want to hurt him. 226 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:38,013 Maybe we were wrong, but what else could we do? 227 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:44,020 (knocking on door) 228 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,987 Slater? I didn't expect you so soon. 229 00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:49,263 I left practice early, couldn't wait to see Artie. 230 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,703 All right, now come on out, buddy. 231 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,765 Boy, he's good at hiding, but I always find him. 232 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,732 Now come out, Artie. 233 00:12:57,743 --> 00:13:00,235 Look, Slater, I don't think you're gonna find Artie this time. 234 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:04,183 You know what? I bet he's hiding under the bed. 235 00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,050 Slater, look, hey-- 236 00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,283 Jeez, Preppie, 237 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:12,519 it looks like a sporting goods store under-- wow! 238 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:17,588 What's this? 239 00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:21,396 It came with my wallet. 240 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,960 All right, now come on out, Artie. 241 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:27,269 Look, it's no use, Artie's not there. 242 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,640 I bet he's just in your closet. 243 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:34,546 Slater-- 244 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:40,748 What are you guys doing here? He's in the closet. 245 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:46,886 What's everybody doing here? 246 00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:49,122 Slater... 247 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,995 something happened to Artie while you were gone. 248 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:57,834 What do you mean? What, is he sick? Hurt? 249 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:03,503 I'm sorry, Slater. 250 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:07,946 About what? It's just a dead lizard. 251 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:13,010 I gotta hit the showers. 252 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,716 (bell rings) 253 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:19,748 All right, let's get started. 254 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,955 First up will be-- 255 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,692 hey, Miss "Doll Face" Kapowski over here. 256 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,131 - Oh, gosh. - Come on. 257 00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:30,035 Step up to the plate. Knock one out of the park. 258 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,560 Speech, speech, speech. 259 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:34,335 Thank you, Slater for your enthusiastic display of-- 260 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,707 enthusiasm. Now button it. 261 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,076 My speech is about my best friend. 262 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,240 His name is Freddy, my German shepherd. 263 00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,579 (laughs) Oh please. 264 00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,608 Everybody knows pets don't count as best friends. 265 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:50,419 Hey, Slater, the lady's talking here. 266 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,551 So talk. 267 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,550 As I was saying, I've had Freddy since he was a puppy. 268 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,326 Whenever I come home, he's right there wagging his tail. 269 00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:03,632 Well, if you came to my house, I'd be wagging my tail too. 270 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:07,004 Hey, Slater, since when did you become a comedian? 271 00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:12,308 Since around Tuesday at 2:00. 272 00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:15,303 One more peep out of you, you're going to the principal's office. 273 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:18,443 - You got that? - Class: Oo-ooh! 274 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,818 Peep-peep. 275 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:25,781 You're out of here. 276 00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:28,783 I understand you were disrupting Coach Rizzo's class. 277 00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:34,028 This just doesn't sound like the A.C. Slater that I know. 278 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:38,163 - What's going on? - Nothing. 279 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:46,170 You are not leaving, young man, until you tell me what's eating you. 280 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,414 - (knocking on door) - Yes? 281 00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:54,284 Mr. Belding, can I have a word with you? 282 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:57,483 - Not now, I'm busy with Slater. - It's about Slater, sir. 283 00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:01,552 Just butt out, Preppie, it's none of your business. 284 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,585 It's about his pet chameleon, Artie. 285 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,963 He thinks it's our fault it died. 286 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,400 Is that what this is all about? 287 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,894 Slater, nobody wanted Artie to die. It just happened. 288 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:19,140 All right. Thank you, boys, I'll take it from here. 289 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:25,015 I'm sorry, Slater. I know what it is to lose a pet. 290 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,748 For years I had two parakeets. 291 00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:30,745 I named them "Sonny and Cher." 292 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:33,282 One day when I changed the water, 293 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,727 I must have left the cage door open, or something, 294 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:41,360 when I came back, Sonny was there but Cher had flown the coop. 295 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:46,100 It's always hard to lose someone you love, isn't it, son? 296 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,403 It just isn't fair. 297 00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:51,104 Life isn't always fair, and neither is death, 298 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,807 but that's life. 299 00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:56,509 I never thought about him dying. 300 00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,315 When I was your age, I didn't think about those things either. 301 00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:05,689 I really miss him. 302 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:13,691 That's okay. 303 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:19,203 It's still okay, it's just a little too tight. 304 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:25,166 (straining) Slater, help-- 305 00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:27,475 You okay? 306 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:30,574 Yeah. Thank you, Mr. Belding. 307 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,450 I'm starting to feel a little better. 308 00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:38,515 Slater, I think it's time that you said goodbye to Artie. 309 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:40,618 I think it's a little too late for that, sir. 310 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:44,824 No, no, no, let's give him the funeral that he deserves. 311 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:48,391 - Funeral? - Uh-huh. 312 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:54,772 Yeah. That'd be nice. 313 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:57,435 Welcome, friends of Artie. 314 00:17:57,443 --> 00:18:01,243 We are here to pay our final respects to a true friend, 315 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:05,774 a good companion, and a well-respected reptile. 316 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,378 He's a creature among creatures, 317 00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:11,914 - not an enemy in the world. - Except a hoot owl. 318 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:16,486 All right, except the hoot owl. 319 00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:18,623 At this time, is there anyone who would like 320 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:26,038 to share an Artie moment? 321 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:29,303 Artie was many things to many people. 322 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:33,006 He was a gentle soul. He never hurt a fly. 323 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:36,539 Well, except for when he was eating them. 324 00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:39,643 But the best thing about Artie was-- 325 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,677 he was color-coordinated. 326 00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:49,687 He could go with anything in your wardrobe. 327 00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:57,395 I never actually knew Artie. I never met him. 328 00:18:57,403 --> 00:19:00,998 I saw him one time, but we didn't converse. 329 00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:05,705 However, if I had known him, I would have missed him. 330 00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:13,711 I'm making a donation, in Artie's name, to "Save The Lizards." 331 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,788 Thank you, Coach. 332 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:22,785 Screech has written a song about Artie that Jessie will now sing. 333 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,559 Ahem-- 334 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,964 (music begins) 335 00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,593 ♪ Oh, Artie boy ♪ 336 00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:34,232 ♪ The bugs, the bugs are buzzing ♪ 337 00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,708 ♪ There's gnats and ants, ♪ 338 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:41,078 ♪ Mosquitoes on the fly ♪ 339 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,481 ♪ And they'll be there ♪ 340 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:48,352 ♪ For breakfast, lunch, and dinner ♪ 341 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:52,415 ♪ In that big chameleon's banquet ♪ 342 00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:59,091 ♪ In the sky ♪ 343 00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,123 Before we conclude our services, 344 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,364 is there anyone else who'd like to say a few words about Artie? 345 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:12,369 I would. 346 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:16,171 Artie-- pal-- 347 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:18,878 I don't know what to say, 348 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:22,548 except... I miss you. 349 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,921 You were my best buddy. 350 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:28,154 For a long time you were my only buddy. 351 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,322 But now, 352 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:34,789 I realize I have friends who care about me as much as you did. 353 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,461 (sniffles) 354 00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:42,032 So don't worry me, Artie. I'll be okay. 355 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,202 Here... 356 00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:50,842 take this with you. 357 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:58,757 Goodbye, Artie. 358 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:03,820 That concludes the ceremony. 359 00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:06,526 The procession will now continue to the boys' bathroom 360 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:10,366 for burial at sea. 361 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,838 (music resumes) 362 00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,864 All: ♪ Oh, Artie boy ♪ 363 00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:19,936 ♪ The bugs, the bugs are buzzing ♪ 364 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:22,710 ♪ There's gnats and ants, ♪ 365 00:21:22,714 --> 00:21:26,981 ♪ Mosquitoes on the fly ♪ 366 00:21:26,985 --> 00:21:29,716 ♪ And they'll be there ♪ 367 00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:34,682 ♪ For breakfast, lunch, and dinner ♪ 368 00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:42,693 ♪ In that big chameleon's banquet in the sky ♪ 369 00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:49,131 (instrumental theme music plays) 26615

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