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1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,303
[bell rings]
2
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:06,774
♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,676
♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,579
♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪
5
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:16,183
♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪
6
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,018
♪ It's all right ♪
7
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,687
♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪
8
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,925
♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,828
♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪
10
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,864
♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪
11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,368
♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,236
♪ It's all right ♪
13
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,106
♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪
14
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,789
♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪
15
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,692
♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪
16
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:03,197
♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪
17
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,914
All right, Lisa, let's practice
for the Academic Bowl.
18
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,216
First question--
19
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,818
what's the zip code
of Northern Zimbabwe?
20
00:01:25,466 --> 00:01:26,934
90210?
21
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,425
Buzz! Wrong answer. That
would be Zimbabwe Hills.
22
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,794
What kind of stupid question is that?
23
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,596
You've got to know everything.
24
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,198
It's the Academic Bowl,
not Wheel of Fortune.
25
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:42,836
Guys, guess where Slater
and I are going Friday?
26
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,905
Here's a hint.
It's big and white.
27
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,840
You need a lift ticket
to get to the top.
28
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,042
The Matterhorn at Disneyland?
29
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,980
No. Skiing at
Big Bear Mountain.
30
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,181
It's winter break.
31
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,517
And the slopes will be
packed with ski bunnies.
32
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,285
Wow! Bunnies and bears.
33
00:01:58,418 --> 00:01:59,853
Can I go?
34
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:03,590
Take him. Maybe he'll
get eaten by a bear.
35
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,393
OK. You can
carry my skis.
36
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,730
How are you going to cut school
without Belding knowing?
37
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,066
You are talking to Zack Morris.
38
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,569
Getting out of school
is my middle name.
39
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,438
How are we getting
out of school?
40
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,440
I have no idea.
41
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,143
Here you go, Screech.
42
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,112
Orange juice, extra pulp,
43
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,680
oatmeal, lumpy...
44
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,949
And scrambled eggs, runny.
45
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,652
You forgot my burnt toast.
46
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,720
Don't push it, little man.
47
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,289
Can I get you guys something?
48
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,291
Yes, another waitress.
You're rude.
49
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,062
How do you like
filling in for Kelly?
50
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,965
Well, I hate wearing this
demeaning sexist uniform.
51
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,567
But the tips are great.
52
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,736
How are you going to practice for the
Academic Bowl and still work?
53
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,905
Are you kidding?
Ask me anything.
54
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:56,176
OK, what's the zip code
of Northern Zimbabwe?
55
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,545
Easy. KR137X.
56
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,881
I've got toast burning.
Bye.
57
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,018
Smart chick.
Lousy attitude.
58
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,854
Wish she had the answer for
getting out of school Friday.
59
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,424
Too bad the teachers'
contract talks are going well.
60
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,993
If there's a strike,
there'd be no school.
61
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:18,065
Sometimes the biggest
dorks have the best ideas.
62
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,903
Tuttle, all these demands
seem reasonable--
63
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:25,439
"salary hike, better hours,
64
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,741
larger lunch portions"?
65
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:31,478
Well, that would be a
personal favor, of course.
66
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:32,879
Of course.
67
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,482
I want you to spread the word.
68
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,618
Dick Belding is on
the teachers' team.
69
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,119
He doesn't want a strike.
70
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,821
Solidarity, brother.
71
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,522
Solidarity, brother.
72
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,091
All right.
73
00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:51,632
Ready for your interview
for the school paper, Mr. B?
74
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,899
Interview?
75
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,167
Remember?
76
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,969
Every year before
the Academic Bowl,
77
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,406
you provide a few inspirational
comments for the school paper.
78
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,643
We'll turn those comments
into a teacher's strike.
79
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,344
What was that?
80
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,412
Sound check.
81
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:07,214
- Sounds good.
- OK.
82
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,650
Now, Mr. Belding...
83
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,986
Bayside's academic team is
winless in Bowl competition.
84
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,822
Does this losing tradition
concern you?
85
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,491
Ahem.
86
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,992
Heck, no.
87
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:24,364
Sir, we need a little
more inspiration.
88
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,699
Oh.
89
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,101
We're going to crush them!
90
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:31,371
Spineless jellyfish never
put up much of a fight.
91
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,539
How's that?
92
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:33,740
Perfect, Mr. B.
93
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,075
Just one more thing.
94
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,377
Valley's principal
says you're over the hill.
95
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,012
What do you think of that?
96
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,114
That incompetent bozo.
97
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,583
He should have been
fired years ago.
98
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,485
Did you get all that?
99
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,220
Every last word.
100
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,357
Remember, people,
101
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,993
be confident, be quick,
and most of all,
102
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,394
be correct.
103
00:04:54,463 --> 00:04:55,395
Ready?
104
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:56,668
- Ready!
- Ready!
105
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,833
Name the city that was
once called New Amsterdam.
106
00:04:59,878 --> 00:05:00,746
[buzzer]
107
00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:01,668
New York.
108
00:05:01,731 --> 00:05:02,770
Correct.
109
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,539
Captain John Smith was said
to have been saved by--
110
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,673
[buzzer]
111
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,041
Pocahontas.
112
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,810
Correct.
113
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,345
Who was the first
person to walk--
114
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,613
[buzzer]
115
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,115
Neil Armstrong.
116
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,516
On the moon.
117
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:17,984
Correct again.
118
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,519
OK. Next question.
119
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,457
Mr. Tuttle, we are
on the team, too.
120
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,926
Screech buzzes in before
we hear the question.
121
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,261
Yeah.
How can we practice?
122
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:30,797
Now, girls, quit complaining.
123
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:34,568
Screech is exactly the kind of
crafty genius you'll be up against.
124
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,970
Yeah. Don't
bruise the genius.
125
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:41,541
Can we get an update on the
teachers' contract for the school paper?
126
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,143
Absolutely.
127
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,245
OK, bowlers, brain break.
128
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:48,181
This gives us a chance
to discuss our strategy
129
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,217
with our genius captain.
130
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,552
Yeah. Come
with us, captain.
131
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:53,987
Yikes!
132
00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,193
It'll just be a second.
I have to cue the tape.
133
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,261
Fine.
134
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:05,165
Mr. Belding, are you concerned
about the threat of a teachers' strike?
135
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,068
Heck, no. We're
going to crush them.
136
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,271
Spineless jellyfish never
put up much of a fight.
137
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:14,808
Sorry. That was a previous
interview with Mr. Belding.
138
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,076
I'll fast forward to--
139
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,312
No, no, no, no!
I want to hear this.
140
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,182
Well, what's wrong
with Union President Tuttle?
141
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:23,717
That incompetent bozo?
142
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,952
He should have been
fired years ago.
143
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,521
Incompetent?
144
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,755
Bozo?
145
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:29,990
Fired?
146
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,259
Well, we'll see about that!
147
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,834
He said what?
148
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,702
That double-crosser called us
149
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,038
spineless,
incompetent jellyfish!
150
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,040
This is an outrage.
151
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,775
I never trusted him.
152
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,977
I knew he was
covering something.
153
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,412
Follow me.
154
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,086
OK, Belding.
Show your face.
155
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,456
Something wrong?
156
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,959
Have you told the teachers
how I feel about them?
157
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,129
Yes, and our response
is unanimous.
158
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,031
[all]
We strike!
159
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,333
They strike.
160
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,901
While we go skiing.
161
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:23,777
Bye, Gretchen.
162
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,478
Bye, Inga.
163
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:26,880
- Mm-wa!
- Mm-wa!
164
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,553
Hey, guys, how was skiing?
165
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,889
Skiing?
Looked like fun.
166
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,527
He was too busy with
Gretchen to even go outside.
167
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,762
Hey, man, snow was cold.
168
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,398
Where's Screech?
169
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,766
He's where he's supposed to be,
170
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,235
bringing in our luggage.
171
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,911
Aah!
172
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,048
Screech, are you ok?
173
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,550
Oh, Screech.
174
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,818
Yeah, I'm fine.
175
00:08:04,925 --> 00:08:06,693
Luckily, I landed on my head.
176
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,688
Are you sure you're OK, Screech?
177
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,091
The Academic Bowl's
in a few days.
178
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,626
He's fine.
179
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,495
He got sniffles from
skiing in his underwear.
180
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,364
Why did you do that?
181
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,965
I forgot my pajamas.
182
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,667
You ski in pajamas?
183
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,935
Why would I do that?
184
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,803
Then I'd have nothing
to sleep in at night.
185
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,874
Stop. Screech went
to use the bathroom,
186
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,809
opened the patio door
by mistake,
187
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,912
and a gust of wind
sent him airborne.
188
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,346
When we found him,
189
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,548
he qualified for
the Polish ski team.
190
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,651
I'm glad you're OK.
191
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,786
We've got Academic
Bowl practice soon.
192
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,489
You're going to school
when you don't have to?
193
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:43,790
That's sick.
194
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:46,593
You'll be going to
school with us tomorrow
195
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,996
because Belding and Tuttle
are settling the strike.
196
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,532
I don't like how this sounds.
197
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:53,800
Me, neither.
198
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,269
Ha ha ha!
199
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,472
I'm glad we're able
to clear things up.
200
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,041
I agree, Mr. Belding.
201
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,542
The strike is over.
202
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:03,843
All right.
203
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:06,012
I guess Belding was
right about the teachers
204
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,847
not putting up much
of a fight, huh, Slater?
205
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,649
Yeah. They
are spineless.
206
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,751
Spineless?
207
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,487
Well, we fought for
and won every demand.
208
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:18,224
You only asked for
more money and better hours.
209
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,492
What else is there?
210
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:22,228
Just a little something
called respect.
211
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,496
Respect?
212
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:24,831
Respect.
213
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:28,034
Like having a parking space
near your classroom.
214
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,336
No respect.
215
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,838
A teachers' lounge to relax in.
216
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:33,173
No respect.
217
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,775
Happier with money?
Take it.
218
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:37,510
I'm only a student.
What do I know?
219
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,447
You are wise beyond your years.
220
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,082
Excuse me.
221
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,384
I have some jellyfish to fry!
222
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,719
Oh, go.
223
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,192
Mr. Tuttle?
224
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,626
Nice try, Belding.
225
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,029
The teachers demand respect.
226
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,330
What do you mean?
227
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,132
Don't play dumb.
228
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,501
We'll see you
on the picket line!
229
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,003
But...
230
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,471
What happened?
231
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,673
I thought you
had things worked out.
232
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,041
So did I.
233
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,877
This strike could go on
a few more days?
234
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,613
It could go on all semester.
235
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,116
What about the
Academic Bowl next week?
236
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,952
If the teachers vote
to stay out on strike tonight,
237
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,588
it means no school
and no Academic Bowl.
238
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,189
I'm sorry.
239
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,326
No Academic Bowl?
240
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,427
Uh-huh.
241
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:30,597
Thanks. Now all that hard
work is down the drain!
242
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,599
No Academic Bowl?
243
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,435
Some friends. You don't
care who you hurt.
244
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,470
No Academic Bowl?
245
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,351
Ladies and gentlemen,
246
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:55,722
I spoke to the school board, and
I have good news and bad news.
247
00:10:56,089 --> 00:11:00,460
The good news is they
listened to all your demands.
248
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,697
The bad news is, they
said, "no way. Forget it."
249
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,735
Then we strike.
250
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,271
Now, hold on.
Hold on, now.
251
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,739
Be reasonable.
252
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,874
This looks bad for the school.
253
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,810
It doesn't bother me.
254
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,445
Well it bothers me.
255
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,480
I don't want to be known
as the only principal
256
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,549
who can't get along
with his teachers.
257
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,417
Hey, wait.
258
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,120
You didn't let
Mr. Belding finish.
259
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,889
Since the school board
wouldn't meet your demands,
260
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:32,926
Mr. Belding came up
with his own proposal.
261
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,160
I did?
262
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:37,464
Yes. Remember? You
asked us to type it up.
263
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:38,665
I did?
264
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:40,533
I'll read it to help
jog your memory.
265
00:11:40,781 --> 00:11:41,968
All right.
266
00:11:42,026 --> 00:11:43,995
Item 1 -- teacher's lounge.
267
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,538
Since there is no lounge,
268
00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:47,440
Mr. Belding will
provide his office
269
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,710
during odd periods
for teachers to relax.
270
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,748
Your office is so ugly,
they won't stay long.
271
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:59,052
Item 2 -- parking spaces.
272
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:03,890
Mr. Belding volunteers to give up
his space and park with the students.
273
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:08,128
This way, every teacher will be
one space closer to the school.
274
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,529
That's pretty good, huh?
275
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:10,864
Yeah!
Great!
276
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:11,998
Good one.
277
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,466
Absolutely not.
278
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,902
I refuse to ride that
smelly shuttle bus.
279
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,738
Don't worry. We'll
save you a window seat.
280
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:22,909
Finally, Mr. Belding
will use his annual bonus
281
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,378
to pay for the faculty
Christmas party.
282
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,779
You got to respect that.
283
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:27,814
Huh?
284
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,015
All right!
285
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,583
Yeah!
Wonderful!
286
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:31,818
That's right.
287
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,219
We accept.
288
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,623
The teachers are back
to work as of tomorrow!
289
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,327
Mr. Tuttle,
welcome back.
290
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,797
Well, are you ready
to bone up for the Bowl?
291
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,032
Test us.
292
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,134
I've got an itchy buzzer finger.
293
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,703
I'm glad the Academic
Bowl wasn't canceled.
294
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,238
So am I.
295
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,074
The hard work you've put in
will be the winning complement
296
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,143
to Screech's brainy energy.
297
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,678
Let's begin.
298
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,882
[blows nose loudly]
299
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,251
Screech, are you OK?
300
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,220
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
301
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,655
[coughs]
302
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,724
Just a little head cold.
303
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:13,259
Ah-choo!
304
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:18,298
Mr. Screech, are you sure
you're feeling up to this?
305
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,366
Yes. Positive.
306
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,001
Ah-choo!
307
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,537
All right, let's begin.
308
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,439
Uh, question 1 --
309
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,943
what are the two
chief classes of nebulae?
310
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,046
[imitates buzzer]
311
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,114
Emissions and reflection.
312
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,486
Mr. Tuttle,
he's burning up.
313
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,021
Let's get him to the nurse.
314
00:13:42,065 --> 00:13:45,625
Mr. Screech, I'm afraid your
Bowl practice is over for good.
315
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,393
Thanks, Mom.
316
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:51,464
[buzzer]
317
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,736
Here are your malts.
318
00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,139
They're extra thick.
I hope you choke on them.
319
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,876
We didn't make Screech sick.
320
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,878
The dufus fell out a window.
321
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,647
You took the dufus skiing.
322
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,516
How many times should
we say we're sorry?
323
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,085
Say it again.
324
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,319
- We're sorry.
- We're sorry.
325
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,854
Not good enough.
326
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:19,392
Getting angry is not making
our situation any better.
327
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,361
With Screech in the hospital,
328
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:24,063
we should be finding
a replacement.
329
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,698
Maybe I can do it.
330
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,268
You have wrestling
practice every day.
331
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,103
Besides, whoever
replaces Screech
332
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,605
would have to study
right up until Bowl day.
333
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:36,509
Well, maybe it's a lost cause.
334
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,444
We should probably just forfeit.
335
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:42,749
Never. Canceled a perfectly good
teacher's strike for this stupid thing.
336
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:51,090
Nerd alert. It's
the Valley bowl team.
337
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,525
Lookee, lookee.
338
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,361
It's the Bayside
bowl team bimbos.
339
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:59,465
I guess you'll forfeit now
that you're Screechless.
340
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,503
We'll be there, Gladys,
341
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,439
and we won't be
dressed for a flood.
342
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,508
Hey, back off, lady.
343
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:11,177
My mom personally
selects my attire.
344
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,512
Save your breath, Earl.
345
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,882
You're dealing with people who
think quantum physics is a TV show.
346
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,851
Don't laugh too loud.
347
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:21,454
They're going to beat
the tape off your glasses.
348
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,524
If you're so confident,
you take Screech's place.
349
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:28,394
He couldn't speak and
buzz at the same time.
350
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,764
All right, scrambled
eggheads, you're on.
351
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,966
We're going to mop
the floor with you.
352
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,302
Get out of here.
353
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,309
All right, Screech,
I'm ready to learn.
354
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,845
Lisa and Jessie cover
English, Art, and History.
355
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,247
Tell me everything
about math and science.
356
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,817
OK, astrophysics--
357
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:54,187
first, think of astro,
the jetsons' dog.
358
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,156
Jetsons means jet propulsion,
359
00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:01,627
with properties "a," "b," "c"...
360
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,364
See you real soon.
361
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,368
Oh, no. He died.
362
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,003
I'm back.
363
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,573
Let's move on to the planets.
364
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:14,540
OK.
365
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,577
Can you remember
the word "mvemjsunp"?
366
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,878
Mvemjsunp?
367
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,446
Mvemjsunp?
368
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,916
It's the name of the planets
according to their distance from the sun.
369
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:29,522
"M"--Mercury, "V"--Venus,
370
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,257
"E"...
371
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,292
"E"...
372
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,162
Ee-yai, ee-yai, oh.
373
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,432
Screech, Screech,
what's the rest of it?
374
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,401
♪ Old MacDonald
had a farm ♪♪
375
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,403
What?
376
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,072
It's too bad we couldn't
get Screech to coach Valley.
377
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,174
They'd be so confused,
we'd kill them.
378
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,309
Coaching the Valley team?
379
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,245
What an interesting concept.
380
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,049
Why did you ask us here,
muscle brain?
381
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,285
We're on a tight schedule.
382
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,187
OK, here's the deal.
383
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,791
I volunteered to take
Screech's place on the team.
384
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:08,594
They laughed and said,
"no jocks allowed."
385
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,030
Why does this concern us?
386
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,232
Now I want to help you guys win.
387
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,634
We don't need your help.
388
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,602
Without Screech,
they're dead meat.
389
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,006
Yeah? Screech is back.
390
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,474
Screech is back?
391
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,276
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
392
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,679
He's not actually back back.
393
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:30,683
Screech has taught Zack
everything he knows.
394
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,784
Everything?
395
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,053
Even thermonuclear
global time share?
396
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,223
Even advanced thermonuclear
global time share.
397
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,827
Uh-oh.
I smell trouble.
398
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,729
Don't sweat it.
I know their strategy.
399
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,432
They're planning to win
in the sports category.
400
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:49,268
We know all about sports.
401
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,838
Well, concentrate on football.
402
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,272
Zack's an expert.
403
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:56,242
Then we'll concentrate
on the pigskin.
404
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,277
That's the sport with helmets.
405
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:01,647
So they don't get hurt
falling off their horse.
406
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,626
Academic Bowlers,
407
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,428
in a moment the game will begin.
408
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,930
Remember -- winning
isn't everything,
409
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,132
but losing stinks.
410
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,334
Come on.
411
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,669
[all]
Go, Bayside!
412
00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,372
Nerds buy our plan?
413
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:27,807
Touchdown.
414
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,246
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
415
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,781
I missed the campus shuttle bus.
416
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,317
Now you know why I'm
late every morning.
417
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:43,155
Welcome to the annual
Bayside-Valley Academic Bowl.
418
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,795
There are six categories.
419
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:53,533
The controlling team can pick any
subject within the given category.
420
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,034
Are you ready?
421
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,202
- Ready.
- Ready.
422
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,737
- You bet.
- You bet.
423
00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:01,073
OK, opening question
for control of the board.
424
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,776
Category -- literature.
425
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:07,146
What was Mark Twain's real name?
426
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,048
Samuel Clemens.
427
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,483
Correct.
428
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,755
Next question --
category still literature.
429
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,858
In Grimm's fairy tale
Snow White,
430
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,727
what were the names
of the seven dwarfs?
431
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,931
Bashful, Doc, Dopey,
Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy.
432
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,165
Right.
433
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,501
I'm sorry.
434
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,070
I'm sorry, but that's wrong.
435
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:35,608
Now, nerds-- I mean,
Valley for control.
436
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,144
In Grimm's version
they had no names.
437
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:40,346
Later, Walt Disney named them.
438
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:42,882
That's correct for 15 points.
439
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:48,254
Name this duck-billed mammal.
440
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:49,956
Platypus.
441
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,490
Correct for 15 points.
442
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,461
Next question --
443
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,631
the bird that hides
its head in the sand...
444
00:19:58,731 --> 00:19:59,765
Ostrich.
445
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,267
Is the ostrich.
446
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,469
How fast does it run?
447
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,738
50 miles an hour?
448
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,173
Correct.
449
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,812
When is this great plan
of yours going to start?
450
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,680
Patience, Jessie.
451
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,949
We've got them right
where we want them.
452
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,885
OK, contestants, final round.
453
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,421
Question value
doubles to 30 points.
454
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:23,990
Category is sports.
455
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,125
Bayside, choose the subject.
456
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,427
I think I'll pick football.
457
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,464
Ah, let's live dangerously.
458
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,065
Make it basketball.
459
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,101
What happened to football?
460
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,605
OK, first question --
461
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,008
name the famous
Los Angeles center
462
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:45,144
who holds the NBA's
career scoring record.
463
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,614
Um, it's that Kareem guy.
464
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:50,683
Kareem Abdul-Montana.
465
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,686
No. I'm sorry.
466
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,521
Bayside?
467
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,657
Is it Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
468
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,558
Correct for 30 points.
469
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,830
Question 2 --
470
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:08,134
who is the Chicago Bull
that defies gravity?
471
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:10,302
That would be Air McMahon.
472
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:13,406
No, stupid. That's
the guy on Star Search.
473
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,042
Bayside.
474
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,511
I believe it's
Michael "Air" Jordan.
475
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:20,479
Correct. 30 more points.
476
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:27,053
If Bayside answers
the final question correctly,
477
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,587
they'll be tied.
478
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:34,026
Who invented basketball?
479
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,962
O.J. Simpson.
480
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,864
No, you idiot.
He's a football player.
481
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,333
OK, O.J. Chamberlain.
482
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:44,437
No. That is wrong
and ridiculous.
483
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:46,439
Bayside.
484
00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:48,874
Here's a wild guess.
485
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,710
Is it James Naismith?
486
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,278
Correct.
487
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:57,683
We have a tie,
488
00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,785
and now to break the tie,
489
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,555
a wild-card, tie-breaker,
tossup question.
490
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,359
Name the solar system's
nine planets,
491
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:10,129
starting with the closest
to the sun.
492
00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:12,765
Uh, that would be mvemjsunp.
493
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:15,634
That's Mercury, Venus,
Earth, Mars,
494
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:19,305
Jupiter, Saturn,
Uranus, Neptune, and...
495
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,674
uh... Pluto?
496
00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:22,808
Correct.
497
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:25,678
Bayside is
the Academic Bowl champion.
498
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:28,848
Good work, people.
499
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,783
Oh, thank you, sir.
500
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:32,651
Are you coming
to the victory party?
501
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:33,953
Sure.
Where is it?
502
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:35,855
It's in the new
teacher's lounge.
503
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,257
That's my office.
You'll wreck everything.
504
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:40,526
If it's a good party we will.
505
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:42,027
Solidarity, brother.
32588
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