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1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,303
[bell rings]
2
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:06,774
♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,676
♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,579
♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪
5
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:16,183
♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪
6
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,018
♪ It's all right ♪
7
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,687
♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪
8
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,925
♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,828
♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪
10
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,864
♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪
11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,368
♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,236
♪ It's all right ♪
13
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,106
♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪
14
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,789
♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪
15
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,692
♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪
16
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:03,197
♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪
17
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,012
Science projects
are due this week.
18
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:21,348
I'm working with Jessie
on a micro-listening device.
19
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:22,516
We're the perfect team--
20
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,685
she works hard, I hardly work.
21
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:30,224
Mr. Morris, shouldn't we be
working on our science project?
22
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,925
I'm sorry,
Mr. Tuttle,
23
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:34,228
but science doesn't turn me on.
24
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:37,931
Oh, hooey. Science
is the ultimate turn-on.
25
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,063
Let me show you.
26
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:40,467
Walk this way.
27
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,207
What have we here?
28
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,042
Intrigue us with your ingenuity.
29
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:51,845
The ultimate bike-riding
accessory --
30
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,780
a portable bug zapper.
31
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:57,751
You can pedal as fast as you
want without swallowing flies.
32
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,153
All right, Morris, let's hustle.
33
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,224
Now look.
34
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,560
What is this fascinating
phenomenon of physicality?
35
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,828
It's a love machine.
36
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,329
I've been called that.
37
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,798
You've been called
a lot of things.
38
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,735
If two people have any
feeling for each other,
39
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,336
this machine will tell us.
40
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,272
Affection detection.
41
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,973
A fine selection.
42
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:23,076
Now on to more
tantalizing topics.
43
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,651
Why, look, whirling
wheels of wonderment.
44
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,886
Whoopee, wow, and wazoo.
45
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,957
Mr. T, you're looking
at gas-powered,
46
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:40,260
turbo-charged limousines
for the feet.
47
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,997
Like, these blaster blades are gonna
totally rewrite the books on speed skating.
48
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,533
Are there books
on speed skating?
49
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:50,103
Excuse us. Sorry
for the interruption.
50
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,439
Not as sorry as I am.
51
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,175
I have a new student
for your class.
52
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,245
I'd like you to meet
Jennifer Wade.
53
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,247
[all]
Hi.
54
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,483
Whoa! Slater,
check out the new girl.
55
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,185
Slater.
56
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:06,687
Shh!
57
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,121
I'm serious.
Check her out.
58
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:10,090
I'm in big trouble.
59
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,125
That's my girlfriend
from Germany.
60
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,561
[bell rings]
61
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,340
I want you to make sure
Jennifer feels at home.
62
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,975
Her father's in the army.
63
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:29,977
She's never been
to school in the states.
64
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,411
We got it covered.
65
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,213
She's in great hands.
66
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,848
Thanks for everything.
67
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,717
It's really good to be home.
68
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,652
Anytime, Jennifer.
And remember,
69
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:42,656
here at Bayside, the
principal's door is always open.
70
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,597
It's open if I want
to go in right now...
71
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:52,766
But I don't.
72
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,235
Um...
73
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,804
So, you're from Germany.
74
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,737
Welcome to our country.
75
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:03,143
English is an easy
language to learn.
76
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,000
Thank you, but I already know--
77
00:04:05,064 --> 00:04:07,666
See? You're learning fast.
78
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,817
I'll be right back.
79
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,755
I'm going to what we
Americans call a locker.
80
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,960
And he's what we Americans
call an idiot.
81
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,364
So my family moved,
82
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,433
and Jennifer and I
never really broke up.
83
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,102
You're saying you have
two girlfriends?
84
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,238
What's the big deal?
That's great.
85
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,473
Jessie won't think it's great.
86
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:34,775
Good point.
87
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,010
Help me keep Jennifer
and Jessie apart
88
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,512
until I can figure out
what to do.
89
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,680
No problem.
90
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,049
Guys, come over
and meet Jennifer.
91
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:48,588
Albert Clifford?
Is that you?
92
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:49,956
Albert?
93
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,291
Clifford?
94
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,528
That's why I
shortened it to A.C.
95
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,430
I can't believe it!
96
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,799
It's so good to see you.
97
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,333
You go to school here?
98
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,502
Yeah. It's great
to see you.
99
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,395
You know each other?
100
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,441
Looks like Al and Jenn
know each other, Jess.
101
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,578
We lived next-door to each other
on my dad's army base.
102
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,447
Really?
That's amazing.
103
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,684
Well, why don't we hear more
about Little Albie over lunch?
104
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,120
We can't. We have
student council.
105
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,656
Oh, where has my mind gone?
106
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,659
My dad asks me that
all the time.
107
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:30,197
Guys, why don't we take
Jennifer to the Max?
108
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,566
That is a great idea, Slater.
109
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:33,967
Bye-bye.
110
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,669
See you guys.
111
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,438
Jenn, you go ahead with them.
112
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,240
I'll catch up with you.
113
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,341
O.K.
114
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:42,709
Don't worry, foreign lady.
115
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,478
I'll read the menu for you.
116
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,222
Remember, Screech, you
can't let Jennifer find out
117
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,023
that Slater
is Jessie's boyfriend.
118
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,391
Don't say a word.
119
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,093
O.K. Can I burp?
120
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,196
Don't even open your mouth.
121
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,998
All right.
122
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,470
Oh, hey, guys, are the
hamburgers any good here?
123
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,773
[mumbling]
124
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,876
The hamburgers are great.
125
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,712
So, you and Slater were
going steady in Germany?
126
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:22,015
For 14 months. Then
his dad got transferred.
127
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:25,252
I'd have let my dad move,
and I would've stayed.
128
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,920
Thanks.
129
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,823
When Albert left,
we made one of those promises
130
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,025
that we wouldn't go out
with anyone else ever.
131
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,326
Can you believe that?
132
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:34,694
Mm-hmm.
133
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,967
Jenn, remember this
shirt? You gave it to me.
134
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,236
Yeah.
It still looks good.
135
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,772
Thanks for keeping
Jennifer company.
136
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,242
You probably have some
things you want to do now, so...
137
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:52,112
No, we're fine
right here, Big Al.
138
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,481
Beat it, Zack.
139
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,649
Yes.
140
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,151
Student council meeting
was canceled.
141
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,219
Why?
142
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:02,155
Jessie slammed her gavel
on Ronald Geekman's hand so hard
143
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:05,125
that his retainer flew out
and hit Mr. Belding in the eye.
144
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:09,029
It was an accident. Besides,
Geekman's got a big mouth.
145
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,797
I'll see you later.
146
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,332
Where are you guys going?
147
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,869
Your food hasn't come yet.
Sit. Stay. Eat.
148
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,940
So, Jennifer, tell us all about
Albert Clifford in Germany.
149
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:23,109
No one wants to hear
about boring old me.
150
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,345
Did Slater have
a lot of girlfriends?
151
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,314
Not a lot.
Just one.
152
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,784
Slater, you, Jennifer, and I
should see Mr. Belding.
153
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,819
Retainer wounds
are very dangerous.
154
00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:35,555
Stay. The big baby's
all right.
155
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,391
I'm curious about Albert myself.
156
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,694
Is he a big man on campus here?
157
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,696
Slater's quarterback
of the football team.
158
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,098
Don't forget captain
of the wrestling team.
159
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,500
His girlfriend Jessie is
president of the school.
160
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,973
You two are going together?
161
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,474
Yeah.
162
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,543
Oh. Gosh,
look at the time.
163
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,979
I have to go meet my
guidance counselor now.
164
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:03,750
Well, gee, guys,
we got to go, too.
165
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,921
Come here. I told you not to tell
Jennifer about Slater and Jessie.
166
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,357
So I forgot. Sue me.
167
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:17,564
Love machine
experiment number two.
168
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,767
[buzz]
169
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,702
Contrary to popular belief,
170
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:26,640
peanut butter and jelly have
no visible feelings for each other.
171
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,443
That Jennifer's
a really sweet girl.
172
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,812
I'd like to spend some time
with her and get to know her.
173
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,748
Yeah, I wouldn't
mind that myself.
174
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,584
Let's finish this first.
175
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,052
There we go.
176
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,054
Hey, Screech, could you help us?
177
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,256
Zack and I finished
our micro-listener.
178
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,025
We need someone
to test its range.
179
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,060
We hid the device in this pen.
180
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,695
Walk through the halls,
181
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,897
and it should pick up
any conversation around you.
182
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,234
Always the guinea pig,
never the inea.
183
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,371
You could have told me
you had a girlfriend.
184
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,041
I never expected
to see you again.
185
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,743
The minute I saw you,
186
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,712
it was like nothing had changed.
187
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,881
I feel the same way.
188
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,984
This isn't
a smart place to talk.
189
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,753
Why don't you give me your
phone number, and I'll call you?
190
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,556
Screech, let me borrow this pen.
191
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,391
It's not really a pen.
192
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,427
If it has ink, it'll do.
193
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,429
Jenn, write down your number.
194
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:23,964
But...
195
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,465
Oh, my gosh!
196
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,568
Why does he want her number?
197
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,770
The micro-listener works fine.
198
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,105
Let's call it a day.
199
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,240
Move it or lose it.
200
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,943
I never expected
my girlfriend to show up
201
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,012
from halfway around the world.
202
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,647
Girlfriend?
203
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,249
Yeah. She's a girl,
and she's an old friend.
204
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,617
Feel better?
205
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,988
Out of my way. I'm going
to break his cheating heart.
206
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,926
Can't let my good friends Jessie
and Slater break up over a girl,
207
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,161
especially one I'd like to date.
208
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:00,967
I'm dead.
209
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,570
Jessie's gonna rip my
eyes out, punch my face in,
210
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,071
then break up with me.
211
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,539
It's her usual pattern.
212
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,908
Look, Slater, the only
way out of this is for you
213
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,411
to tell Jessie it's over
between you and Jennifer.
214
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,546
It's not.
That's the problem.
215
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,281
What am I gonna do?
216
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,517
Make up your mind
who you really want.
217
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,918
Right.
218
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,687
Who do I want?
219
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,822
Let's do a little
comparison shopping.
220
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,190
First you have Jennifer.
221
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,959
She's very, very average.
222
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,560
Then there's Jessie.
223
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,063
She's bright, beautiful,
extremely above average.
224
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,932
Your sweet, loving mama.
225
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,835
Yeah. Yeah, she is
my mama, isn't she?
226
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,704
There's your decision.
Dump Jennifer.
227
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,072
- Right.
- Yes.
228
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,607
Wrong.
229
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,809
Preppie, I don't know
what I want.
230
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,477
Slap some sense into me.
231
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,613
Would you get
ahold of yourself?
232
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,385
If there was some way
Jennifer wasn't a threat to Jessie.
233
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,954
You need some guy
to ask Jennifer out
234
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,656
to take the heat off of you.
235
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,826
Right. But where
will I find this guy?
236
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,029
Preppie, how about you?
237
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,101
Whew!
238
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,203
Slater, I just came from school.
239
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,671
Jessie's on a rampage.
240
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,274
She spray-painted "death
to Slater" on your locker.
241
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,675
No problem.
242
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,310
Zack's going to ask Jennifer out
243
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,245
so Jessie won't be jealous.
244
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,947
I'm home free.
245
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,049
I'll ask again.
246
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,585
Why did you want
her phone number?
247
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,387
Could you loosen up?
248
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,689
I'm losing vision
in my right eye.
249
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,759
Tell me now before I get angry.
250
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,963
I needed the number because
I couldn't tell her in person
251
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,765
that it was over.
252
00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:40,834
Then it's definitely over?
253
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,635
Absolutely.
254
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,505
Will you pop the back of my neck
255
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:48,274
so my Adam's apple
snaps back into place?
256
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:52,879
Bye, sweetie.
257
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:03,323
Zack, I want you to
ask Jennifer on a date.
258
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,825
Me date Jennifer?
259
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,396
But... why?
260
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,466
I want to test Big Al's
true feelings.
261
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:17,504
If my jerk from Germany sees
you with Jennifer and doesn't care,
262
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,672
then I know he's mine.
263
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,675
O.K. But only
because we're friends.
264
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,210
And you're paying.
265
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,346
Screech!
266
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:30,049
I feel terrible. I mean,
Jessie won't talk to me.
267
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,987
The minute you and Zack show
up on your fake date at the Max,
268
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,756
Jessie will like you and
Slater will be off the hook.
269
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,925
What fake date?
270
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,163
The one Slater asked Zack
to take you on.
271
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,632
But shh! Don't let
Jessie find out.
272
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,303
Date Zack, huh? O.K.
273
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,372
If Albert wants me to date Zack,
274
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,141
then I'll teach him a
lesson he'll never forget.
275
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,614
- Look who's here.
- Look who's here.
276
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,349
Zack and Jennifer.
277
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,518
Hi, guys.
You all know Jennifer.
278
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,886
Hi.
279
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,722
I planned on Jennifer
and I sitting alone.
280
00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:11,157
Oh.
I don't mind.
281
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,458
Do you mind, Slater?
282
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,127
Oh, I don't mind.
283
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:25,438
Look at the way
they're holding hands.
284
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,574
What can I get you guys?
285
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,909
How about one burger,
and we'll meet at the pickle?
286
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:32,011
Can you rush that order?
287
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,413
Yeah.
288
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,348
[music plays]
289
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,592
It's getting hot
and heavy over there.
290
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,827
Zack didn't waste any time.
291
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,396
I guess there's nothing wrong
with Zack dancing with Jennifer,
292
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,165
is there, Slater?
293
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,469
No. I'm happy
they're hitting it off.
294
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:57,737
Real happy.
295
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,939
I'll be right back.
296
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,613
You're doing great.
297
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,382
Hold me closer, Zack.
298
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,351
Only if you insist.
299
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,054
May I cut in?
300
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,256
Sure.
301
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,357
Thank you.
302
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,094
I thought maybe after
I dropped off Jessie,
303
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,363
I'd come by your house,
and we can talk.
304
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,398
You better call first
305
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,967
because I'm going
to the beach with Zack.
306
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,236
Wait right here.
307
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,638
Be right back.
308
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,041
Hey. A walk
on the beach?
309
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,509
What are you doing?
310
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,478
I'm making it look convincing.
311
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,614
You're supposed to be
convincing Jessie, not Jennifer.
312
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,453
Now our next presenters
are Kelly and Screech
313
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,355
and the love detector.
314
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,324
All right.
Go get 'em, Screech.
315
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,260
- Look at this.
- Pretty neat, Screech.
316
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,064
When two people are
hooked up to the machine,
317
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,700
their feelings for each other
are registered on the front scale.
318
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,001
Any volunteers?
319
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,770
How about Zack and Jennifer?
320
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,406
Ingenious idea.
321
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,975
Fly, lovebirds,
to the mate meter.
322
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,416
Wow, Jennifer, you have
soft, lovely hands.
323
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,017
They're mine, nimwad.
324
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,320
S-Sorry, Zack.
325
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:24,257
Our subjects are connected.
326
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,359
Kelly, hit the juice.
327
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,099
Very compatible.
328
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,134
Way to go, Preppie.
Thanks.
329
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,805
I ask for one favor,
and you steal my girlfriend.
330
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,042
She's still your girlfriend?
331
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,245
Uh, well, I mean,
my old girlfriend.
332
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,114
But-- but, you see...
333
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,718
It's all this stupid
machine's fault.
334
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,523
Jessie, wait. I--
335
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,768
That's it!
336
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,037
Me and the neanderthal
are through.
337
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,973
Jessie, Slater didn't try
to deliberately hurt you.
338
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,476
He got caught in
a weird situation.
339
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,779
He could've told me the truth!
340
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:23,149
I happen to be a very
understanding person, you know.
341
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,853
I sense that.
342
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,989
You're the only one who
will lose if you break up.
343
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,392
You'll drive him
back to Jennifer.
344
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,496
That's where he wants to be.
345
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,798
You don't know for sure.
346
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,602
Maybe they should go on a date
to see how they feel.
347
00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,137
What?
348
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,541
Jessie, sometimes you
have to let go of a person
349
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,344
to find out if there's
something there to hold onto.
350
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:55,047
I don't want to lose Slater.
351
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,983
I love him.
352
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,263
Jessie?
353
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:16,402
Jessie, look, I should have
told you from the beginning.
354
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,471
I'm sorry I hurt you.
355
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,242
Do you still like Jennifer?
356
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,112
That doesn't really matter.
357
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,181
You're my girl now.
358
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,250
No, Slater. Look...
359
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:36,355
It's obvious that you and Jennifer
have feelings for each other.
360
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,826
You need to go out and
see what's really there.
361
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,528
Are you sure?
362
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:46,532
Yeah. But if you pick her,
I get to keep your jacket.
363
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,637
Mama, you're the greatest.
364
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,941
Just remember that on
your date, Albert Clifford.
365
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,750
Hey, you sure you want
to sit up front?
366
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:07,453
We always used to sit in
the back at the Berlin-o-plex.
367
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,122
I know, but I like
to sit closer now.
368
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,165
Yeah. I like
to sit closer, too.
369
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,175
No, I've changed my mind.
370
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,910
I don't want to go
through with this.
371
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,413
My romantic future depends
on what happens tonight.
372
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,915
Besides, you like Jennifer.
373
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:38,117
You want to see her
end up with Slater?
374
00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:39,819
No.
375
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,655
But why do I have to
dress up as the old lady?
376
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,525
The support hose were
cutting off my circulation.
377
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,361
Stop complaining. We got
the senior discount.
378
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,443
What do you think?
379
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,279
Does it look
like they're bonding?
380
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,749
No. They're still eating
popcorn from separate tubs.
381
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,317
Shh!
382
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:12,985
Sorry, Sonny.
383
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,355
You're going to love this movie.
384
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:18,591
I heard Mel Gibson is great.
385
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,793
I'm getting tired of Mel Gibson.
386
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,762
I like Kevin Costner.
387
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,630
- Kevin Costner?
- Mm-hmm.
388
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,366
He's O.K. I guess.
389
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,468
What'd they say?
I can't hear them.
390
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,504
I don't know.
My girdle's killing me.
391
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:41,681
Can I help you with something?
392
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,984
Uh, you just back up there
because I have mace.
393
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:46,319
Sorry.
394
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:50,122
You should be because people
like you don't make it safe for us.
395
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,894
You're going to blow it.
396
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,196
Great. You just broke
your bra.
397
00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,832
Jennifer, let's move.
398
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:11,611
This is fun being
together again, Jenn.
399
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:15,047
If you don't mind, I like
being called Jennifer now.
400
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,983
Oh. I'm sorry.
401
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,618
That's O.K., Albie.
402
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,620
While we're on name changes,
403
00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:23,456
it's, uh, A.C. now,
not Albie.
404
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,691
And please, can Clifford.
405
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:27,893
Great.
I can't hear them.
406
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,162
It doesn't look
so good from here.
407
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:32,960
Ow.
408
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,300
What's wrong?
409
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,835
My neck hurts.
410
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,737
Someone twisted it this morning.
411
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,372
Well, here. Let me
rub it for you.
412
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:40,906
Oh, great.
413
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:45,044
Oh, my gosh,
they're going to kiss.
414
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,780
I can't take this anymore.
415
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,815
Wait--
416
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,984
uh, gee-- whoa.
417
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,360
Kelly, check out
that old couple.
418
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:03,696
They keep making weird noises.
419
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,601
Is there anything
I can do for you?
420
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,871
Do you have anything on
the menu for a broken heart?
421
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:15,608
Oh, we're fine, Kelly.
Just a little depressed.
422
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,210
Zack? Jessie?
Is that you?
423
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:21,013
Yeah. We got dressed
in disguises
424
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,449
to spy on Jennifer
and Slater's date.
425
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:25,384
That's terrible.
What happened?
426
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:27,653
We left before
they started making out.
427
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:29,021
Oh.
428
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:33,159
Hey, Kelly.
Excuse me, folks.
429
00:21:33,235 --> 00:21:34,570
Have you seen Zack and Jessie?
430
00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:36,001
We need to talk to them.
431
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:51,043
You mean you were the two
old geezers in the movies?
432
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,946
Look, we apologize for spying.
433
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:58,084
I realize now the two of you
were meant for each other.
434
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:01,821
No. Jenn and Albert Clifford
were meant for each other,
435
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:03,456
but they grew up.
436
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:07,326
We found out that Jennifer
and A.C. are just friends.
437
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,161
You're my girl.
438
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:21,974
So... Jennifer.
439
00:22:22,308 --> 00:22:24,710
I guess this kind of
makes you available.
440
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,278
Yeah, kind of.
441
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,481
Zack, I was wondering...
442
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,583
do you like Kevin Costner?
443
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:33,586
[as old woman]
Oh, yes, he's great.
444
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,688
He's cooler than Mel Gibson.
445
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:37,757
Do you know a cute blond guy
446
00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:39,892
who'd like to take me to
the movies tomorrow night?
447
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,596
I'm your man if I don't
have to wear this girdle.
29892
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