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1
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,142
Slaughtered you again.
2
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,244
I'm ahead three games to two.
3
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:12,813
I want a re-match.
Hey, wait a minute.
4
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,448
You said I could
Play the winner.
5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,485
You can. It's the best 51
Out of a hundred.
6
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,559
Alright, that's enough.
Everybody off to bed.
7
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,995
Just one more game.
No, it's a waste of time.
8
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:32,366
Yeah. You should all go read a
Book. It'll improve your mind.
9
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,368
Hey, someday, you'll
Thank me.
10
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,669
Yeaahhh.
11
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,573
I thought they'll never leave.
12
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,222
* it's a rare condition *
13
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,889
* in this day and age *
14
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:59,360
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
15
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:02,596
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
16
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:07,235
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
17
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,271
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
18
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:14,475
* inside these gentle walls *
19
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:18,246
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
20
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:23,083
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
21
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:26,287
* as days go by *
22
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:30,090
* we're gonna fill our house
With happiness *
23
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,993
* the moon may cry *
24
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:36,830
* we're gonna smother
The blues with tenderness *
25
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:39,767
* as days go by *
26
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:43,704
* there's room for you
Room for me *
27
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:47,908
* for gentle hearts
An opportunity *
28
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:51,312
* as days go by *
29
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:56,150
* it's the bigger love
Of the family *
30
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,327
Mom, I'm way behind
In history.
31
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,128
I got to pull
An all-nighter.
32
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:45,699
Fine. As long as you're
In bed by 10:00.
33
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,602
Edward, why is your father
Under the table?
34
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,273
Harriette,
This chair is wobbly.
35
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,141
I know what
You're thinking, carl.
36
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,009
But just call the shop
And get it fixed.
37
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,478
I can do this.
38
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,747
All I gotta do
Is even out the legs.
39
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:03,417
I guess that means we're going
To get a new kitchen set.
40
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:07,788
Thank you for your overwhelming
Vote of confidence in me.
41
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,557
Come on, edward. Let's
Get back to work.
42
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,460
Dad, I'm tired.
How about tomorrow?
43
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,462
Oh, I guess, we can
Knock it off.
44
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,798
Well, you got algebra
Down cold anyway.
45
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,933
Goodnight, einstein.
46
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,272
Goodnight, professor.
47
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,375
Laura, I'm dead.
48
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,311
If I don't pull at least a "C"
On my midterm exam,
49
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,480
I'm gonna flunk algebra.
50
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,315
I thought dad
Was a math whiz.
51
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,450
He is.
Then, what's the problem?
52
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:39,287
I'm the one
Who's taking the test.
53
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,655
Guess you're
Out of luck.
54
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,157
Laura, if I flunk,
Mom and dad won't let me go
55
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,759
To the prince concert.
56
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,896
You got to help me.
I haven't had algebra yet.
57
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:52,300
There's only one person
Who can help you now--
58
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,034
Steve urkel.
59
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,336
Urkel?
60
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,340
I'd rather eat worms.
61
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,310
He can
Teach you that, too.
62
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,320
Rachel, I don't want
To hurt your feelings,
63
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,589
But that log cabin
Is pitiful.
64
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,892
Hey, give me a break.
65
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,696
I'm on a sugar high from eating
All those popsicles.
66
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:26,567
Aunt rachel, hurry up. You're
Holding up the homestead.
67
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,068
Honey, I'm almost done.
68
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:31,639
It took the pioneers less time
To build the real thing.
69
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:38,779
Hi, everybody.
70
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,113
Hi, honey.
71
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:43,917
Steve, did it ever occur to you
That when the door's closed,
72
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,554
We're trying to keep
Unwanted people out?
73
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,789
Oh, I'd better
Lock it, then.
74
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,496
He's such
A thoughtful child.
75
00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:58,499
Thanks, estelle.
76
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,201
Laura's
Not here.
77
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:04,338
Well, actually, it was eddie
Who asked me to stop by.
78
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,173
You're kidding.
79
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,675
I couldn't
Believe it either.
80
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:11,579
I got so excited, I almost
Stepped on my tarantula.
81
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,713
Ew!
82
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,748
Eddie's in
The living room.
83
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:19,920
Thanks. Nice diorama, except
For that pitiful log cabin.
84
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,526
Judy, why don't you have rachel
Take a shot at it.
85
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,230
Hi, eddie.
86
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,299
Urkel, thank goodness
You're here.
87
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,634
I couldn't believe
You called me.
88
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:36,404
So, what are you up for?
Tv, parcheesi,
89
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,407
A little male bonding?
90
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,409
Steve, I need your help.
91
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,577
I'm flunking algebra,
And I need you to tutor me.
92
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,113
Well, this is
My busy season.
93
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,882
I'm trying to teach
The football team fractions.
94
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,454
Steve, I'm desperate.
If you don't help me,
95
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,322
I can't go
To the prince concert.
96
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,024
Check out these seats.
97
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,493
Third row.
98
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,895
Wow! You could
Get sweated on.
99
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,532
Will you tutor me?
100
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,299
I'll give you
Anything you want.
101
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,735
Really?
102
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,571
Maybe we can work
Something out.
103
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,344
What's that?
104
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:20,347
Standardized urkel
Elementary math exam.
105
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,816
It helps to determine
How much help you need.
106
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,253
Okay, first question.
107
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,121
What do you get
When you multiply
108
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,158
A negative
By a negative?
109
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,826
A really big negative?
110
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,430
Uh-oh.
111
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,100
Second question.
112
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:43,604
3 times x equals 6.
113
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,839
What is
The value of x?
114
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,407
I know this one.
115
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,677
It's either a number
Or a letter.
116
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,614
Whoa.
117
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,586
This has never
Happened before.
118
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,754
I did good, huh?
119
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,823
You didn't even make it
Onto the chart.
120
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,159
Steve, tutor me.
121
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,829
I'll give you
Anything you want.
122
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,197
Anything?
123
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,733
Name it
And it's yours.
124
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,368
We'll just say
That you owe me a favor.
125
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,904
In the meantime...
126
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:20,974
I'll just take these
As collateral.
127
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,915
I would like
To propose a toast
128
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,317
To the most brilliant
Children in chicago.
129
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,885
You all did great
On your midterms.
130
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:35,122
We're proud of you.
Here, here.
131
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,690
Judy's teacher said
132
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,727
She made the best covered wagon
In the whole class.
133
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,496
Really? What did she like
Think of my log cabin?
134
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,831
She loved it.
135
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,600
I set it on fire and called it
An indian attack.
136
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,105
Dad, why don't
You sit down?
137
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,107
Because he doesn't
Have a chair, that's why.
138
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:59,079
Carl, how's your chair
Coming along?
139
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,180
Just great, mama.
140
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,215
With any luck, I'll
Be sitting by breakfast.
141
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,320
[sniffing]
142
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,356
Hi, everybody.
Hi, honey.
143
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,925
Hi, laura,
My sweet.
144
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,927
Mmm. Steak.
145
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,697
You ever been down
To the slaughterhouse?
146
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,399
It's fascinating.
147
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,401
One minute, moo.
148
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,704
The next minute,
Rump roast.
149
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,575
He's such
A well-rounded child.
150
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,410
Eddie, could we
Speak privately?
151
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,712
Sure, urk.
152
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,414
Excuse us
For a minute.
153
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,016
Come on, old buddy.
154
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:44,725
I got a "B."
High!
155
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,898
Congratulations.
That's great.
156
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,166
Wonderful. Now
About my payment...
157
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:57,370
Anything, urk, anything
In the whole wide world.
158
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,372
I want a date
With laura.
159
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,942
What's your
Second choice?
160
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,277
There is
No second choice.
161
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,346
But, urkster,
Be reasonable.
162
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,215
I want laura...
163
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,017
On a date...
164
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,819
This friday night.
165
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:23,196
Laura, I've
Been thinking.
166
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:27,234
You know who's really a great
Guy once you get to know him?
167
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,569
Steve urkel.
168
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,405
Urkel?
169
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,907
Yeah.
170
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:37,144
You two kids really
Have a lot in common.
171
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,311
If I believed that,
172
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,180
There'd be
No reason to go on.
173
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:43,684
Laura...
174
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,686
Steve was
A great tutor.
175
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,387
Now I owe him big.
176
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:50,023
How big?
177
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,459
I promised him
A date with you.
178
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:53,927
Really?
179
00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:00,734
Are you out
Of your mind?
180
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,435
Have a heart.
181
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,872
A couple of measly hours
Of your time
182
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,306
Could make his
Dreams come true.
183
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:09,309
And give me nightmares
For the rest of my life.
184
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,945
I can't go back
On my word.
185
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,682
You should've promised him
Something you could deliver,
186
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,717
Like a ride
On a space shuttle.
187
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,820
Laura...
188
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,222
Laura, listen to me,
Please.
189
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:30,931
It's finished.
190
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:34,034
I took this baby apart
And re-glued every joint,
191
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:37,204
And now this chair
Is perfect.
192
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:44,011
Yeah. Now
It's a recliner.
193
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,116
Can I ask you guys
A ques--
194
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,088
Can I ask you guys
A question?
195
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,890
Did you ever go out
With someone
196
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,792
Just because you felt
Sorry for them?
197
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:02,963
Sure. How do you think
I met your dad?
198
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:07,100
Harriette, don't start with me.
I'm having a real bad week.
199
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,569
My worst date was
A chicken farmer.
200
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,004
Lucas hobbs.
201
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,073
He was
The most pathetic man.
202
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,275
Always covered
With feathers.
203
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,510
Why did you date him?
204
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,147
It was the depression.
I needed a good meal.
205
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,285
Once he got me
In the rumble seat,
206
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,320
I didn't know
Whether to kiss him
207
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,056
Or pluck him.
208
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,359
Harriette, remember
When I went out
209
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,762
With clarence bibby?
210
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,229
Do I ever.
211
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,531
Everything that boy
Ever ate in his life
212
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,400
Was stuck
To his hush puppies.
213
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,635
Rachel, I didn't know you're
The hush puppy type?
214
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,337
Oh, it was a mercy date.
215
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:48,809
He was hopelessly in love
With me. One of many.
216
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:52,645
So laura, honey, who's the loser
In your life?
217
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,147
Names aren't important.
218
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,449
Let's just say he's
A world-class nerd
219
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,418
With no redeeming
Qualities.
220
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,120
Sounds like steve urkel.
221
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:03,323
It is.
222
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,926
Ooh.
Ooh.
223
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:09,329
That's not a mercy date.
That's a lord-have-mercy date.
224
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:12,632
Mercy date?
Steve is a fine young man.
225
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,167
If I was a few years younger,
226
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,904
I'd give you a run
For your money.
227
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,106
You want
A head start?
228
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:34,187
So eddie, what time should I
Pick up laura friday night?
229
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,891
Urkman. I was just
Going to call you.
230
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:42,362
Laura said no.
231
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,934
Hmm...Who should I take
To the prince concert?
232
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,169
One of the guys
From the chess club?
233
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,072
Or dr. Woo,
My allergist?
234
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,708
Hi, steve.
235
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,278
Hi, laura.
236
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,180
I don't suppose
I could persuade you
237
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,416
To change your mind
About friday night.
238
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:07,387
I can't believe
I'm saying this, but...
239
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,022
I'll--
240
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,695
I'll go with you.
241
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:18,866
Wow! This new cologne
Must really work.
242
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:24,637
Laura, you're the bravest sister
A guy ever had.
243
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,307
This is incredible.
You won't be sorry, laura.
244
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:30,944
I have a spectacular
Evening planned.
245
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,745
We're not going anywhere
246
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,814
Until the ground rules
Are straight.
247
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:37,350
First of all,
This is not a real date.
248
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,186
It's a nondate.
249
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,421
Second, no one
Must ever know
250
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,456
About this nondate.
251
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:48,428
Third, if you touch me
At any time,
252
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,597
The nondate is over.
253
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,799
What if you trip
Or something?
254
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,568
Just let me fall.
255
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,838
The rest of the rules are
Covered in this contract.
256
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,840
"No mouth breathing,
257
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:02,542
"No snorting,
258
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:03,911
No drooling--"
259
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:07,447
Who does these things?
They're disgusting.
260
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,117
Where do I sign?
261
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:29,469
Carl, it's taking you forever
To finish that chair.
262
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,872
Harriette, do you want this fast
Or do you want it good?
263
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:36,109
I don't think he's
Got a shot either way.
264
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,650
Laura...
265
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,618
Laura.
266
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,354
Darn, you recognized me.
267
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,890
Well, it was either you
Or the phantom of the opera!
268
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,666
Hi, everybody.
Hi, honey.
269
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,735
Hi, laura,
My sweet.
270
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,904
You look radiant.
271
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,273
These are for you.
272
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,511
Ohh.
273
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,382
Ohh.
274
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,085
Oh, and I got nougat
On my shoe.
275
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,822
Oh, no problem.
276
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:26,093
I'll just wipe it
Off on the curb.
277
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,728
Ready, my sweet?
Our limo awaits.
278
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,663
You rented a limo?
279
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:34,167
No. Well, actually it's
My uncle ernie's hearse.
280
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,371
He's gonna drive
Us tonight.
281
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:42,242
We only have to make
One quick delivery.
282
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,181
Let's get this
Over with.
283
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:51,184
Goodnight,
Everybody.
284
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,524
Excuse me.
285
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,990
Dr. And mrs. Urkel.
286
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,794
Just practicing.
287
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,429
Ah, yes.
288
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,232
Monsieur urkel.
Right this way, please.
289
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,102
Don't put us near the kitchen
Or bathroom, okay?
290
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,337
Oui, monsieur urkel.
291
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:48,608
I hate the sound
Of flushing while I'm eating.
292
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,578
Don't you, my pet?
293
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,650
Excusez moi.
294
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,588
Whoop!
295
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,562
Mademoiselle.
296
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,064
Monsieur.
297
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,565
Bon appetit.
298
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,138
Nerd alert.
Table 12.
299
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,509
This place is perfect. Nobody
We know would ever come here.
300
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:26,079
Right. It will be
Our special place.
301
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:28,981
Mademoiselle.
302
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,417
No. We won't be
Needing those.
303
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:34,154
I ordered ahead for the
Specialty of the maison.
304
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,089
Ah, yes.
305
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,657
Cuisse des grenouilles.
306
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,825
Excellent choice.
307
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,496
Steve, what did you
Just order us?
308
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,965
Frog legs.
309
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,735
Are you okay?
310
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:49,769
Aah!
311
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,706
Watch it!
312
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:59,078
I hope their food is better
Than their service.
313
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:16,329
Boy, do these guys know how
To saute their amphibians.
314
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,400
How about some dessert?
No, thank you.
315
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,135
Everytime we order
Another course,
316
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,204
You bring
Your chair closer.
317
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,173
I can't help it, laura.
318
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:29,609
I'm drawn to you
Like a moth to a flame,
319
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,578
A bee to a blossom,
320
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:34,314
A mouse to cheese.
321
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,817
Check, please.
322
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,356
Laura, you're
The most beautiful girl
323
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,891
In the whole world.
324
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,296
And I'm the luckiest guy.
325
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,733
I only hope this evening
326
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,404
Has been as magical for you
As it's been for me.
327
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,273
Well...
328
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,311
It hasn't
Been that bad.
329
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,347
Only one more thing
330
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:10,850
Could make this night
Even more special.
331
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,419
I was just hoping--
332
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:15,455
Well, if it's not
Too much trouble,
333
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:19,292
I could have one small kiss
On the cheek.
334
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,430
That would
Involve touching,
335
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,298
Which would be
A clear violation
336
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,633
Of our contract.
337
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:30,470
Yeah, you're right.
What was I thinking?
338
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:31,838
Why should you
Lower yourself
339
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:35,107
Just because it would
Mean the world to me?
340
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,509
Oh, urkel.
341
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,647
For you, it's just
An insignificant gesture.
342
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:44,284
In your lifetime, you'll go out
On hundreds of dates.
343
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:47,720
But for me, this could
Be my one and only.
344
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:51,591
How do you like that?
I've peaked at 13.
345
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:59,866
Okay, urkel.
One kiss on the cheek.
346
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:03,503
Keep your hands on the table
Where I can see them,
347
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,339
Don't move your head,
And no puckering.
348
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,282
Thanks,
Uncle ernie!
349
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,619
Urkel!
350
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,088
There was nothing in the
Contract about pictures.
351
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,958
Now we'll have a little memento
Of our night together.
352
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:29,095
That's it.
This nondate is over!
353
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,598
Oh, but, laura,
My sweets--
354
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,440
Bonjour.
355
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,338
Will somebody hand me some
Marshmallows, please?
356
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:25,084
Carl, I hate to say
I told you so--
357
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,686
Then, don't.
358
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:32,124
Hi, laura.
How'd it go?
359
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:34,661
It was the most
Disgusting...
360
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:41,133
It was the most
Disgusting, degrading,
361
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,637
Humiliating night
Of my life.
362
00:21:44,704 --> 00:21:46,739
Oh. How was
The food?
363
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,277
Laura, look, I know
You had a bad night,
364
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:54,013
But someday you gonna look back
At this night
365
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,382
And see how funny it is.
366
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,617
Maybe from
Where you sit, dad.
367
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:01,153
But right now
368
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:03,823
All I can see is urkel running
Out of the restaurant
369
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,393
With a tablecloth
Tucked into his pants.
370
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:08,695
He did that?
371
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,531
He practically
Leveled the place.
372
00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:14,467
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
373
00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:18,505
I guess
It was pretty funny.
374
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:20,272
Here are your tickets.
375
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:23,476
Thanks, laura.
I've been thinking.
376
00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:26,278
Why don't you go to
The concert with me?
377
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,814
You mean that?
378
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,949
It'll be fun.
379
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,083
Thanks, eddie.
380
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:36,489
Laura, you did
A nice thing.
381
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,057
We're proud of you.
382
00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:39,792
Yeah. Now look at it
This way.
383
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,661
Now that you've
Gone out with steve,
384
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:44,030
He'll probably leave
You alone for a while.
385
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,798
[ring]
386
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,035
[ring]
387
00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:51,337
Hello?
388
00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:53,473
Hi, carl,
This is steve!
389
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,811
You've reached
The winslow residence.
390
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,880
There's no one home right now.
So please leave a message
391
00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:03,516
At the sound
Of the beep. Beep!
392
00:23:04,651 --> 00:23:07,854
Laura, thank you
For our enchanted evening.
393
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:12,625
My cheek is still on fire
From your kiss.
394
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:14,427
And now that
We're a couple,
395
00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:17,597
I was hoping you'd wear
My medical I.D. Bracelet.
396
00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:21,434
The chess club's having
A weenie roast this weekend,
397
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:23,436
I put us down for two.
27564
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