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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:01,773 --> 00:00:03,273 I like Christian. 3 00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:06,573 Um, he likes to play with my hair all the time. 4 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,673 I think it's because his mom has long blond hair. 5 00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:12,139 I think I'm a substitute for his mother. 6 00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:14,473 I'm not getting married, and I don't like anyone, 7 00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:15,740 and I never will. 8 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:16,974 * All right! 9 00:00:17,073 --> 00:00:19,173 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 10 00:00:21,974 --> 00:00:25,773 Well, I'm just saying I understand why the horseshoe is lucky. 11 00:00:27,707 --> 00:00:30,139 But I'm confused about the rainbow. 12 00:00:31,874 --> 00:00:34,573 Well, I mean, I guess you're lucky if you see one, 13 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,840 but a rainbow in and of itself, not lucky. 14 00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:42,607 Oh, that's nice. 15 00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:44,773 Well, then don't put a number on the box 16 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,907 if you don't want to hear my comments. 17 00:00:49,373 --> 00:00:51,707 Eddie, it is your first day of summer vacation. 18 00:00:51,773 --> 00:00:53,907 Go back to sleep, lie diagonal, 19 00:00:53,974 --> 00:00:58,173 feel the thrill of having your whole body on a bed for once. 20 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,139 You know I hate summer vacation. 21 00:01:00,206 --> 00:01:01,707 Oh! Here we go. No, no. 22 00:01:01,773 --> 00:01:04,406 It's got no structure, no purpose, 23 00:01:04,473 --> 00:01:06,406 and daylight savings is relentless. 24 00:01:06,473 --> 00:01:08,473 The sun is still up at 9 p.m. 25 00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:10,640 I feel so awkward drinking. 26 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,573 That's why I drink in the basement. 27 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,840 Nobody knows what time it is. 28 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,073 Think of me. 29 00:01:22,139 --> 00:01:23,573 Hey! Hey! 30 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,206 Hey! There she is. 31 00:01:25,273 --> 00:01:26,907 What are... Look at you. Hi, baby. 32 00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:28,874 Hi, honey. Oh, my gosh. Hi, Dad. 33 00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:31,907 I thought freshman girls were supposed to gain 15 pounds. 34 00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:34,106 I know. I drink a ton of rum every night, 35 00:01:34,173 --> 00:01:36,240 but nothing. 36 00:01:36,306 --> 00:01:37,773 This is such a surprise. 37 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,573 I thought you were gonna take the train tomorrow. 38 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,273 Oh, I was, but I caught a ride home with Doug. 39 00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:46,173 Hey, hey, Mr. Stark, Mrs. Stark. 40 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,940 I thought you two broke up. 41 00:01:48,006 --> 00:01:49,773 Oh, we did, but we got back together in the van 42 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,473 on the ride home. 43 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,373 Fantastic. 44 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,840 I think Allison and I will always be those kind of lovers. 45 00:01:59,907 --> 00:02:02,974 You know, we love each other. 46 00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:06,306 Then we go away, and we love other people, 47 00:02:06,373 --> 00:02:10,073 and we come back to love each other again. 48 00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:12,640 Doug, I'm about to break your hands. 49 00:02:13,673 --> 00:02:15,273 I'm sorry. 50 00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:16,874 I have to go to work, honey. You're not pregnant, right? 51 00:02:16,940 --> 00:02:17,940 No. Okay. Great. 52 00:02:18,006 --> 00:02:21,073 I love you. Bye. 53 00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:24,773 Anyway, Daddy, Doug is having a problem with his van, 54 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,240 and I was sort of thinking that maybe he could stay here 55 00:02:28,306 --> 00:02:30,173 until the part that he needs arrives. 56 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,707 And how long would that be? 57 00:02:31,773 --> 00:02:33,607 Seven to 12 business days. 58 00:02:33,673 --> 00:02:35,540 Oh, no, no. That's a no-go, Doug. 59 00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:37,540 You see, because there are barely enough toilets in here 60 00:02:37,607 --> 00:02:39,607 to accommodate me. 61 00:02:39,673 --> 00:02:42,707 Well, actually, sir, I was gonna stay outside in the van, 62 00:02:42,773 --> 00:02:44,640 and as far as the facilities go, 63 00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,273 I eat very clean, 64 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:50,607 so I metabolize about 93% of what enters my body orally. 65 00:02:51,607 --> 00:02:52,874 You know? 66 00:02:57,273 --> 00:03:00,540 I'm not even gonna ask how you measure that. 67 00:03:00,607 --> 00:03:01,807 Well, I could teach you, 68 00:03:01,874 --> 00:03:05,306 if you have some baggies and a postal scale. Huh? 69 00:03:05,373 --> 00:03:08,206 No, Doug. Will you wait for us outside? 70 00:03:08,273 --> 00:03:09,840 What are you... What... 71 00:03:09,907 --> 00:03:11,640 Daddy, please. 72 00:03:11,707 --> 00:03:13,940 He'll sleep in the van, and I'll be in here, 73 00:03:14,006 --> 00:03:15,707 and we'll just hang out. 74 00:03:15,773 --> 00:03:16,907 I promise. 75 00:03:16,974 --> 00:03:19,173 You won't even know he's here. 76 00:03:23,773 --> 00:03:25,740 Fine! Yes. 77 00:03:25,807 --> 00:03:27,974 Uh, I couldn't help but overhear the good news. 78 00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:29,507 Thank you, sir. 79 00:03:29,573 --> 00:03:33,640 Um, do you have a three-pronged outlet for my heat lamp? 80 00:03:33,707 --> 00:03:35,840 I got, like, some chickens outside 81 00:03:35,907 --> 00:03:38,573 that are three days away from hatching. 82 00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:47,006 * All right! 83 00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,073 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 84 00:03:48,139 --> 00:03:50,106 Good morning. 85 00:03:50,173 --> 00:03:52,740 Sweetie, you're on summer vacation. 86 00:03:52,807 --> 00:03:55,106 Why are you still dressed like a vice-principal? 87 00:03:55,173 --> 00:03:58,840 Well, I still have a lot of forms to fill out, 88 00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:02,240 and the uniform keeps me on my game. 89 00:04:02,306 --> 00:04:06,907 But I am paying homage to summer by sporting a thinner sock. 90 00:04:06,974 --> 00:04:09,940 Hey, sweetie, look, I know you're working on your thesis, 91 00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:11,406 but would you mind if I use your desk 92 00:04:11,473 --> 00:04:13,139 for, like, 10 minutes this morning? 93 00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:14,473 Desk? 94 00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:17,773 Yeah. Your desk in the living room. 95 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,974 Oh. You mean my puzzle table? 96 00:04:22,139 --> 00:04:24,607 Sweetie, we, uh... We bought you that desk 97 00:04:24,673 --> 00:04:25,974 so you could work on your thesis 98 00:04:26,039 --> 00:04:28,306 about the French Revolution, remember? 99 00:04:28,373 --> 00:04:30,440 Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right. Yeah. I know. 100 00:04:30,507 --> 00:04:33,874 It turns out I don't really get my best work done at the desk per se. 101 00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:36,807 It's all yours. 102 00:04:36,874 --> 00:04:37,974 Okay. 103 00:04:38,039 --> 00:04:39,373 Where you going? 104 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,106 I'm going back to bed. 105 00:04:42,173 --> 00:04:43,874 You sick? No, I'm fine. 106 00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:47,440 Sometimes, I go back to sleep after you leave for work. 107 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,773 Really? Yeah. 108 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,006 You get up early, dude. 109 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,974 Thank you. Looks delicious. 110 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:09,306 Oh, yeah. Doug makes the best blended infused teas. 111 00:05:09,373 --> 00:05:11,006 Yeah. The secret is fresh mint. 112 00:05:11,073 --> 00:05:13,607 I grow my own right on the dashboard. 113 00:05:14,707 --> 00:05:16,106 Hey. 114 00:05:16,173 --> 00:05:18,273 Hey, Jeff. Hey, Allison. 115 00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:19,540 Friend. 116 00:05:20,273 --> 00:05:22,807 What's going on, honey? 117 00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:25,607 Mmm. I was just about to start my walk 118 00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:28,406 when I heard this really intense whirring sound. 119 00:05:28,473 --> 00:05:32,807 You know I can't say no to anything that comes out of a blender. 120 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,473 Yeah. Hey, do you 121 00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:38,173 plan on getting any work done today, or... 122 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,640 Oh, I am working. 123 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,740 This is part of my process. 124 00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:43,039 In 19th century Paris, 125 00:05:43,106 --> 00:05:44,940 the bohemian lifestyle was a direct result 126 00:05:45,006 --> 00:05:48,707 of the disenchantment with the ruling class. 127 00:05:48,773 --> 00:05:51,640 This drink is way too thick for the straw. 128 00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:55,306 What's wrong? 129 00:05:55,373 --> 00:05:57,874 Oh, oh, nothing. It's just... 130 00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,373 You know, sweetie, on the surface, 131 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:04,039 this doesn't really look like a traditional academic setting. 132 00:06:04,106 --> 00:06:07,006 This actually looks more like a bunch of lazy people 133 00:06:07,073 --> 00:06:09,373 living outside of a van. 134 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,373 But, hey, hey, what do I know, right? 135 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,707 (SHUSHING) Hey! 136 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,240 What are you doing? It's cool, man. 137 00:06:15,306 --> 00:06:17,206 Just give in to my touch. 138 00:06:17,273 --> 00:06:18,306 No! 139 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,273 No. 140 00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:24,440 No! 141 00:06:24,507 --> 00:06:25,907 I got to go. 142 00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:30,740 Wow. Your gay brother's really uptight. 143 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,773 What happened? 144 00:06:43,073 --> 00:06:44,840 Your Dad cut the juice. 145 00:06:44,907 --> 00:06:46,173 Not cool. 146 00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,006 I'll go talk to him. 147 00:06:49,073 --> 00:06:50,507 No, no, no. I'll talk to him. 148 00:06:50,573 --> 00:06:53,974 I sense we had a pretty strong spiritual connection. 149 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,306 I don't think you do. 150 00:06:56,373 --> 00:06:57,874 You know what? Let me. 151 00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:59,740 I'm pretty good at conflict resolution. 152 00:06:59,807 --> 00:07:02,907 I watch, like, three hours of judge shows a day. 153 00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:07,006 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 154 00:07:08,306 --> 00:07:09,673 Hey, Eddie. 155 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,373 I was wondering if you might plug our blender back in. 156 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,874 How about no? 157 00:07:18,473 --> 00:07:20,340 Look. I know you're probably upset 158 00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:23,540 that Allison has taken a lover with a van. 159 00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:25,974 But I got to tell you, 160 00:07:26,039 --> 00:07:29,707 I've been with a lot of guys in a lot of vans, 161 00:07:29,773 --> 00:07:32,306 and that one's actually pretty nice. 162 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,874 We get it. You're a dirty girl. 163 00:07:39,206 --> 00:07:42,874 All I am saying is, Doug's a great guy. 164 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,773 Allison's happy. 165 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,907 You must remember what it was like to be young 166 00:07:46,974 --> 00:07:48,840 and in love in the summer. 167 00:07:48,907 --> 00:07:50,940 Well, I do have one nice memory 168 00:07:51,006 --> 00:07:54,306 of Joy and me at a water park in 1982. 169 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:57,073 She lost her tube top going down the Splash-alanche. 170 00:07:57,139 --> 00:07:59,039 There you go. 171 00:07:59,106 --> 00:08:01,240 Come outside. Have a drink with us. 172 00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,306 It's summertime. 173 00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:03,406 I hate summertime. 174 00:08:03,473 --> 00:08:04,907 Maybe you should just try to relax. 175 00:08:04,974 --> 00:08:06,039 No. Why not? 176 00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:08,807 Because I don't know how. 177 00:08:08,874 --> 00:08:11,740 Okay? Is that what you want to hear? 178 00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:13,874 I don't know how to relax. 179 00:08:14,874 --> 00:08:16,273 Now, please, 180 00:08:17,139 --> 00:08:18,940 just leave me alone. 181 00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:24,006 You know what? I can't do that. 182 00:08:24,073 --> 00:08:28,006 Because I know that inside that mean and hairy man 183 00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:35,940 is a slightly less mean but just as hairy little boy 184 00:08:41,173 --> 00:08:43,773 who wants to come outside and play. 185 00:08:46,173 --> 00:08:48,673 Come outside and play, little Eddie. 186 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:03,173 Okay. Good. Good. 187 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,974 Okay. Now. 188 00:09:06,173 --> 00:09:08,273 I'm gonna plug this back in. 189 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,173 Okay? 190 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:13,974 (BLENDER WHIRRING) 191 00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:15,540 DOUG: Yes! ALLISON: That's it, baby. 192 00:09:15,607 --> 00:09:16,974 (ALLISON AND DOUG LAUGHING) 193 00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,240 Now, you're gonna take my hand, 194 00:09:19,306 --> 00:09:21,874 and we're gonna go outside. 195 00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:23,974 But I'm not wearing shoes. 196 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,573 Where we're going 197 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,440 you don't need shoes. 198 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,440 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 199 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,907 What is that, some kind of marinade? 200 00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,974 It's a Brazilian dry rub. 201 00:10:12,106 --> 00:10:13,306 Uh-huh. 202 00:10:26,173 --> 00:10:27,406 Skynyrd. 203 00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:30,373 I love Lynyrd Skynyrd. 204 00:10:31,707 --> 00:10:32,773 They're like Zeppelin for 205 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,507 rednecks. Rednecks. 206 00:10:38,874 --> 00:10:39,940 Yes. 207 00:10:52,273 --> 00:10:55,173 High beams, man, high beams! 208 00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:58,540 (EDDIE CONTINUES PLAYING DRUMS) 209 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:08,607 Morning! 210 00:11:08,673 --> 00:11:09,874 (GASPS) 211 00:11:11,607 --> 00:11:14,173 If they've eaten all my French bread pizza, 212 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,740 someone's going to hell on a rocket! 213 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,073 Son of a... 214 00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:22,673 I did not know that you could brush your teeth with dirt. 215 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,773 Hey, sunshine. 216 00:11:29,306 --> 00:11:30,940 Eddie. Yeah? 217 00:11:31,006 --> 00:11:34,073 What happened in here? 218 00:11:34,139 --> 00:11:38,673 Well, I have to say this does look a lot messier than it did in the dark. 219 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,974 But, listen, I do not want you to lift a finger 220 00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:43,139 because I'm gonna hit this really hard 221 00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:44,840 in, like, seven hours. 222 00:11:44,907 --> 00:11:46,173 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful. 223 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,440 You're about to walk into pudding. 224 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,406 All right. I'm gonna have to crash. 225 00:11:50,473 --> 00:11:52,373 Night-night, everybody. 226 00:11:55,473 --> 00:11:57,340 Sweetie. 227 00:11:57,406 --> 00:11:59,807 Hey, I haven't had a chance to catch up with you since you got home. 228 00:11:59,874 --> 00:12:01,507 Do you want to have a little cup of coffee with me 229 00:12:01,573 --> 00:12:02,607 before I go to work? Yeah. 230 00:12:02,673 --> 00:12:04,540 That'd be great. All right. 231 00:12:04,607 --> 00:12:06,540 Okay. So, freshman year. 232 00:12:06,607 --> 00:12:08,740 I want you to tell me everything. 233 00:12:08,807 --> 00:12:11,707 I want to know who's sleeping with their professor. 234 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,473 I want to know which girls you hate. 235 00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:15,773 Tell me. 236 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,974 Okay. 237 00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:25,273 Okay. That was good. Good talk. 238 00:12:25,874 --> 00:12:27,473 Yeah. Good talk. 239 00:12:31,373 --> 00:12:33,106 And I'm in pudding. 240 00:12:42,406 --> 00:12:45,306 Okay. Fire on the lawn. This can't be legal. 241 00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,440 No disrespect, Mrs. Stark, 242 00:12:48,507 --> 00:12:51,240 but fire was here long before man's laws. 243 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,540 Come on, Mom. Sit down, grab a couch cushion. 244 00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:58,740 Oh, my God! My couch cushion! 245 00:12:58,807 --> 00:13:01,440 Hey, maybe we should play Joy her song. 246 00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:02,740 Yeah. Oh! You've written a song. 247 00:13:02,807 --> 00:13:03,807 Yeah. Okay. 248 00:13:03,874 --> 00:13:06,039 It's called Shalamar. Great. 249 00:13:06,106 --> 00:13:09,273 It's about fiery woman named Joy 250 00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:12,273 and her fiery horse Shalamar. 251 00:13:15,406 --> 00:13:17,440 All right. Hit it, Doug-mo. 252 00:13:20,773 --> 00:13:23,840 * It was a sad and lonely sunset 253 00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:28,073 * A whisper of a star 254 00:13:28,139 --> 00:13:31,874 * There was a fiery woman named Joy 255 00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:34,006 * And her fiery horse named 256 00:13:34,073 --> 00:13:36,340 ALL: * Shalamar 257 00:13:37,273 --> 00:13:39,273 Doug-mo! 258 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,640 (BEAT IMITATING HORSE GALLOPING) 259 00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:47,039 Okay, okay. 260 00:13:47,106 --> 00:13:49,840 Okay. That was very touching. 261 00:13:49,907 --> 00:13:51,440 Also very loud. 262 00:13:52,607 --> 00:13:54,540 I am starving, okay? 263 00:13:54,607 --> 00:13:56,273 I haven't eaten anything all day, so come on. 264 00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:57,940 Let's go have dinner, everybody. 265 00:13:58,006 --> 00:13:59,139 Oh. You know what? 266 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,573 We had lunch at, like, 5 p.m. 267 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,240 Hey. Hey. Guess what? I had couscous. 268 00:14:04,306 --> 00:14:06,573 FYI, it's not rice. 269 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,273 It's tiny pasta. 270 00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:09,974 And there's some more if you want some. 271 00:14:10,039 --> 00:14:11,640 There should be some on the counter. 272 00:14:11,707 --> 00:14:13,473 It has cranberries in it. 273 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,306 * Cranberries 274 00:14:17,373 --> 00:14:20,440 ALL: * Cranberries 275 00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:23,840 * I got cranberries at the store 276 00:14:23,907 --> 00:14:27,006 * Made couscous at 4:00 277 00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:29,907 * I hope I haven't lost you 278 00:14:29,974 --> 00:14:33,940 * It's teeny, tiny pasta 279 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,974 (EDDIE AND DOUG PLAYING) 280 00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:39,807 * Cranberries 281 00:14:39,874 --> 00:14:41,974 * Well, you know your pasta * 282 00:14:42,039 --> 00:14:44,773 Hey. Hold on. Is anyone writing this down? 283 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,240 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 284 00:14:48,306 --> 00:14:49,340 Yeah? 285 00:14:49,406 --> 00:14:51,373 Hey, Jeff. Hey, Joy. 286 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,473 Listen, apparently, Steph and Eddie and the kids 287 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:58,340 aren't gonna be eating dinner till sometime tomorrow morning. 288 00:14:58,406 --> 00:15:00,306 The only thing left in my kitchen 289 00:15:00,373 --> 00:15:03,840 is the five packets of soy sauce that came with the house. 290 00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:06,874 So I was wondering if I could join you. 291 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,473 Oh, yeah, please. Okay. 292 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:09,840 I haven't had a meal with another adult 293 00:15:09,907 --> 00:15:13,974 since my wife started behaving like she lives in Spain. 294 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,940 I know, it's just... It's crazy, right? I'm not the only one. 295 00:15:17,006 --> 00:15:19,673 I mean, I wanted Eddie to enjoy the summer, 296 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:21,240 but this is just annoying. 297 00:15:21,306 --> 00:15:24,507 He's walking around with this strange look on his face. 298 00:15:24,573 --> 00:15:27,440 His lips are curled up, and you can see his teeth. 299 00:15:27,507 --> 00:15:28,974 I don't know. 300 00:15:30,073 --> 00:15:31,540 He's smiling? 301 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:34,006 Yeah. 302 00:15:34,073 --> 00:15:35,340 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 303 00:15:35,406 --> 00:15:37,907 Well, at least Eddie will go back to work. 304 00:15:37,974 --> 00:15:39,507 You know, I'm starting realize 305 00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:42,773 that Steph doesn't do anything and she never has. 306 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,306 It's like all she does is sleep 307 00:15:44,373 --> 00:15:46,707 and look at the VW website. 308 00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:50,373 She has built her own Jetta 147 times. 309 00:15:52,006 --> 00:15:54,406 You know what the worst part about it is? 310 00:15:54,473 --> 00:15:56,707 I can't get that song Shalamar out of my head. 311 00:15:56,773 --> 00:15:59,573 Oh, right. That song about me and my horse? 312 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,373 They told me that Shalamar was my horse. 313 00:16:09,974 --> 00:16:11,874 Oh, that really sucks! 314 00:16:16,406 --> 00:16:17,940 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 315 00:16:23,507 --> 00:16:25,373 Hey. Hey, brother man. 316 00:16:26,473 --> 00:16:28,306 Is Steph around? 317 00:16:28,373 --> 00:16:30,640 Because the gang wants to play Frisbee golf around the neighborhood. 318 00:16:30,707 --> 00:16:31,940 I'm sorry, Eddie, 319 00:16:32,006 --> 00:16:34,306 but Steph cannot come out and play today. 320 00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:35,573 Wow! 321 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,840 Captain Bringdown has spoken. 322 00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:39,840 It's summertime. 323 00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:42,039 Come on. Lighten up. 324 00:16:42,106 --> 00:16:46,006 No, you know, she's got $68,000 in student loans, 325 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,773 and so far, the only thing she's written in her thesis is, 326 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,740 "The French Revolution was..." 327 00:16:50,807 --> 00:16:53,373 And then there's a doodle of some kind of space man. 328 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,306 Well, so what? I mean, come on. 329 00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,707 What do you really think her earning potential is anyway? 330 00:16:57,773 --> 00:17:00,039 I really can't imagine The History of the Powdered Wig 331 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,373 By Steph Woodcock 332 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,473 flying off the shelves like Harry Potter. 333 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,540 It's not about the money, Eddie. 334 00:17:06,607 --> 00:17:08,673 She's got to learn to finish what she starts. 335 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:09,974 Oh, okay. I get it. 336 00:17:10,039 --> 00:17:12,306 So you're everyone's vice-principal. 337 00:17:12,373 --> 00:17:13,673 Hey. That's not fair. 338 00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:15,773 All right. Well, listen. I'm gonna tell you something. 339 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,940 You may find this hard to believe, 340 00:17:18,006 --> 00:17:21,340 but you and I, we're pretty similar. 341 00:17:21,406 --> 00:17:23,073 Of course, you're shorter, girlie-voiced, 342 00:17:23,139 --> 00:17:26,940 and you have the tiniest little hands I've ever seen on a man. 343 00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:31,039 What was the similar part? 344 00:17:31,106 --> 00:17:32,440 Okay. 345 00:17:32,507 --> 00:17:35,139 You and I, we're both pretty uptight, you know, 346 00:17:35,206 --> 00:17:36,740 tightly wound. 347 00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:39,940 I mean, before, I wasn't even able to enjoy summer vacation. 348 00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:41,406 But after Steph came over, 349 00:17:41,473 --> 00:17:45,306 I'm twirlin' around on a hilltop like Julie Andrews. 350 00:17:45,373 --> 00:17:49,273 Listen, my point is, you don't want to change that girl. 351 00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:50,907 She's good for you. 352 00:17:50,974 --> 00:17:52,840 She might not be ambitious, 353 00:17:52,907 --> 00:17:55,173 but she's fun and spirited. 354 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,773 And you're not. 355 00:18:00,039 --> 00:18:01,840 Okay, think about it. 356 00:18:03,740 --> 00:18:05,673 (DOOR CLOSING) 357 00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:08,807 Legend has it he died in the cornfield, 358 00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:13,306 but some people say he survived that silo explosion. 359 00:18:13,373 --> 00:18:17,306 I even heard a rumor that he settled down around these parts 360 00:18:17,373 --> 00:18:19,907 on a street very much like this, 361 00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:24,106 and every year around this time, 362 00:18:24,173 --> 00:18:26,373 he comes back, 363 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,340 looking for a warm fire 364 00:18:28,406 --> 00:18:29,707 and wondering, 365 00:18:29,773 --> 00:18:32,373 (ALL SCREAMING) "Who took my hand?" 366 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,907 Okay. You got me. You got me. 367 00:18:34,974 --> 00:18:37,006 Good one. Good one. 368 00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:38,139 JOY: Hello. 369 00:18:38,206 --> 00:18:39,540 Oh, hey. 370 00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:41,907 Jeff, what the hell are you doing here? 371 00:18:41,974 --> 00:18:44,507 I mean, I thought we both agreed that this was ridiculous. 372 00:18:44,573 --> 00:18:47,173 Well, it was until I had a birch beer 373 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,940 and heard a ghost story. 374 00:18:50,006 --> 00:18:51,807 Hey, Doug, do your thing. 375 00:18:51,874 --> 00:18:54,073 Just give in to my touch, let your shoulders breathe. 376 00:18:54,139 --> 00:18:56,940 All right. Back off, Doug. 377 00:18:57,006 --> 00:18:59,340 Why do you bring anger here, Joy? 378 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,340 Why do I bring anger here? 379 00:19:02,406 --> 00:19:06,106 Eddie, I have been killing myself at work every day 380 00:19:06,173 --> 00:19:09,073 while you all have been doing drum circles 381 00:19:09,139 --> 00:19:12,273 and eating couscous with cranberries. 382 00:19:12,340 --> 00:19:13,707 * Cranberries 383 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:18,974 All right. 384 00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,540 Wait a minute. This is what you wanted. 385 00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:23,907 You wanted me to have fun. 386 00:19:23,974 --> 00:19:26,240 I know, but it's not fair. 387 00:19:26,306 --> 00:19:28,206 I mean, I have had to go to work, 388 00:19:28,273 --> 00:19:30,673 and it is hard enough without having to pass by a production of Hair 389 00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,507 every time to do it. 390 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,106 I'm jealous, okay? 391 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,206 So join us. 392 00:19:36,273 --> 00:19:38,306 I have a job. I can't. 393 00:19:38,373 --> 00:19:39,373 Says who? 394 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,006 Says the three banks who own our house. 395 00:19:42,073 --> 00:19:43,139 Uh-huh. 396 00:19:43,206 --> 00:19:44,974 Listen to me. 397 00:19:45,073 --> 00:19:48,707 Summer vacation is a state of mind, Joy. 398 00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:50,607 Come on. It's just one night. 399 00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:52,607 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 400 00:19:52,673 --> 00:19:54,840 Do not pick up that phone. 401 00:19:54,907 --> 00:19:55,940 Don't do it. 402 00:19:56,006 --> 00:19:57,840 Come on. It's Friday. 403 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,707 It's Tuesday. 404 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,974 (RINGING CONTINUES) 405 00:20:10,006 --> 00:20:11,406 You serious? 406 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,607 Mom, no. Don't answer it. 407 00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:15,206 We want you to hang out with us. 408 00:20:15,273 --> 00:20:16,507 Joy, come on. Come on. 409 00:20:16,573 --> 00:20:18,106 (ALL CLAMORING) 410 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,673 Listen. Listen. Listen to me. 411 00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:24,106 Do you remember quite a few summers ago 412 00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:27,473 when you lost your tube top at Splash-alanche? 413 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,673 Huh? 414 00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:32,039 Good times. Yeah. 415 00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:36,173 I want you to lose your tube top tonight. 416 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,306 Right here in front of the kids? 417 00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:43,907 Metaphorically. 418 00:20:45,073 --> 00:20:47,373 And then maybe later literally. 419 00:20:50,173 --> 00:20:52,507 All right. I'm on summer vacation, damn it. 420 00:20:52,573 --> 00:20:53,907 Okay. 421 00:20:53,974 --> 00:20:55,773 Yay! What... 422 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,840 The battery's not gonna explode, is it? 423 00:20:58,907 --> 00:21:00,807 I don't know. Maybe. Come on. 424 00:21:00,874 --> 00:21:03,573 Pour me some sangria and teach me the words to Shalamar. 425 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,540 Ah! Now you're talkin'. 426 00:21:08,073 --> 00:21:11,373 * It was a sad and lonely sunset 427 00:21:12,907 --> 00:21:15,540 * A whisper of a star 428 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,673 * There was a fiery woman named Joy 429 00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:19,807 Jeff! 430 00:21:19,874 --> 00:21:23,006 * And a horse called Shalamar 431 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:26,073 ALL: * Shalamar 432 00:21:26,139 --> 00:21:28,773 * Ride, little pony, ride 433 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,607 * Hey, yeah, yeah 434 00:21:30,673 --> 00:21:32,473 * Yeah, that little pony would ride 435 00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:33,907 * Ooh 436 00:21:33,974 --> 00:21:35,874 * It's a little pony from heaven * 30864

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