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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:01,664 --> 00:00:02,664 * All right! 3 00:00:02,731 --> 00:00:03,798 * Hey! 4 00:00:03,865 --> 00:00:06,231 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 5 00:00:08,798 --> 00:00:10,030 Hi, Shiny. 6 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,431 Hey, babe. 7 00:00:12,997 --> 00:00:14,698 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is this? 8 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:17,231 Pancakes? Bacon? Omelets? 9 00:00:17,297 --> 00:00:20,865 Am I dreaming or are we having breakfast for dinner? 10 00:00:20,931 --> 00:00:22,397 Oh, it's real, big boy. 11 00:00:22,464 --> 00:00:25,397 As real as these eggs that expired yesterday. 12 00:00:26,531 --> 00:00:28,097 I like your style, lady. 13 00:00:28,164 --> 00:00:30,464 We are going to eat what we want, when we want it, 14 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,464 even if we get a little salmonella doing it. 15 00:00:34,231 --> 00:00:35,698 (BANGING) 16 00:00:38,531 --> 00:00:40,064 Do you think that it's time we got a new fridge? 17 00:00:40,130 --> 00:00:42,364 'Cause I think this is ridiculous. 18 00:00:42,431 --> 00:00:45,264 Ridiculous or sexy? 19 00:00:45,331 --> 00:00:49,064 You know, I got to tell you, you stabbing stuff just gets my motor going. 20 00:00:55,531 --> 00:00:58,231 Eddie, I don't have a lot of big dreams, 21 00:00:58,297 --> 00:01:00,731 but one that I do have is getting a nice, 22 00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:03,297 symmetrical ice cube out of my freezer 23 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:07,431 without the risk of plunging a spike through my hand. 24 00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:10,364 Yeah, but you see, you get yourself a new refrigerator 25 00:01:10,431 --> 00:01:13,297 and all of a sudden, the stove starts looking old, 26 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,064 and then the cabinets are ugly, 27 00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,531 and pretty soon, your whole life just looks bad. 28 00:01:17,598 --> 00:01:20,264 And you got to drink booze just to get through the day, 29 00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:22,264 and you got to have pills to sleep at night 30 00:01:22,331 --> 00:01:23,498 and you get fired from your job 31 00:01:23,564 --> 00:01:24,931 and you end up on the street. 32 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:27,464 So, no new refrigerator. You're welcome. 33 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,431 (CLEARS THROAT) 34 00:01:30,498 --> 00:01:33,831 So, what are you doing Saturday? 35 00:01:33,898 --> 00:01:35,431 Watching That's So Raven in my underwear. 36 00:01:35,498 --> 00:01:37,331 What are you doing? 37 00:01:39,764 --> 00:01:43,931 Well, I read about this marriage workshop I think we should go to. 38 00:01:43,997 --> 00:01:45,865 Whoa, whoa. What's happening? 39 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:49,097 Why do we need marriage counseling? 40 00:01:49,164 --> 00:01:51,698 Did you... Did you cheat on me? 41 00:01:53,231 --> 00:01:55,164 You can tell me, Joy. We can work through this, 42 00:01:55,231 --> 00:01:58,264 but don't send me to counseling. 43 00:01:58,331 --> 00:02:01,097 No. I didn't cheat on you. And it's not counseling. 44 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:04,431 It's Tammy Thomas Tomlinson's marriage workshop 45 00:02:04,498 --> 00:02:07,831 for happy couples who want to stay happy. 46 00:02:07,898 --> 00:02:09,931 Well, come on. That doesn't make any sense. 47 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:13,965 If we're already happy, the best way to stay happy is by doing nothing. 48 00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:16,498 Think of it as a marriage tune-up. 49 00:02:16,564 --> 00:02:21,898 You know, just getting under the hood and checking our fluids. 50 00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:26,331 I don't want anyone named Tammy Thomas Tomlinson anywhere near my fluids. 51 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:32,264 Come on. It'll be fun. It's only four Saturday seminars. 52 00:02:32,331 --> 00:02:35,097 That's like saying it's only four catheters. 53 00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,865 Eddie, I want to try this thing. 54 00:02:38,931 --> 00:02:42,831 (STAMMERING) Look. I could say no and end it right now, 55 00:02:42,898 --> 00:02:44,297 or else I could say yes 56 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,997 and then be sick for the next four Saturdays in a row. 57 00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:51,798 You know, I can make my glands swell up like a bullfrog. 58 00:02:51,865 --> 00:02:53,931 Yeah. You're quite a catch. 59 00:02:59,164 --> 00:03:01,931 You know what? Never mind. Forget I mentioned it. 60 00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:03,531 Ah. Okay. See? 61 00:03:03,598 --> 00:03:06,397 Conflict resolution. 62 00:03:06,464 --> 00:03:11,997 We don't need a workshop by Tammy Tucker Tinklebaum to tell us that, right? 63 00:03:13,431 --> 00:03:16,231 You want to know who the real genius is? 64 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:19,531 Mr. Tammy Tucker Tinklebaum. Yeah. 65 00:03:19,598 --> 00:03:22,631 "Oh, honey, you know everything about marriage. 66 00:03:22,698 --> 00:03:24,197 "Hey, here's a good idea. 67 00:03:24,264 --> 00:03:25,898 "Why don't you go away every weekend 68 00:03:25,965 --> 00:03:28,030 "and share your wisdom with everyone in the world, 69 00:03:28,097 --> 00:03:30,498 "and I'll just sit here and watch football alone?" 70 00:03:30,564 --> 00:03:33,197 Yeah. 71 00:03:33,264 --> 00:03:35,831 I'll take a class from that guy. I'll tell you that right now. 72 00:03:35,898 --> 00:03:37,297 (LAUGHING) 73 00:03:38,764 --> 00:03:40,397 * Yeah! 74 00:03:40,464 --> 00:03:41,464 * Oh, oh, oh! 75 00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:43,297 (CHUCKLES) 76 00:03:44,498 --> 00:03:45,965 What's so funny? 77 00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:47,798 I'm grading these papers. Check out this answer. 78 00:03:47,865 --> 00:03:51,130 "Who was the first Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court?" 79 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,197 Answer, "The honorable Don K. Balls." 80 00:03:56,831 --> 00:03:58,397 Don K. Balls. 81 00:03:58,464 --> 00:03:59,865 (SNICKERS) 82 00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:02,698 "F" for "funny" and "future fry cook." 83 00:04:06,731 --> 00:04:08,898 What the hell was that? 84 00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:10,631 Oh. Oh, I'm reusing baggies. 85 00:04:10,698 --> 00:04:12,531 Just trying to save a little money. 86 00:04:12,598 --> 00:04:13,698 Oh, really? Mmm-hmm. 87 00:04:13,764 --> 00:04:15,731 I'll tell you what. Here's 10 bucks. 88 00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:18,598 You can buy yourself about a million Ziplocs. 89 00:04:18,664 --> 00:04:20,731 Oh, you laugh, but every little penny helps. 90 00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:22,764 Steph is out of control with money. 91 00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:25,898 You know, the other day, she bought a suede jacket 92 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:27,997 that cost more than my entire wardrobe. 93 00:04:28,064 --> 00:04:30,097 So, what, like a $30 jacket? 94 00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,731 I'm a vice-principal, okay? 95 00:04:33,798 --> 00:04:37,564 I am not making crazy principal jack here. 96 00:04:37,631 --> 00:04:39,164 I even told Steph that she should talk to me 97 00:04:39,231 --> 00:04:40,831 before spending the money that I earn. 98 00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:42,397 I bet that went over well. 99 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:45,231 No. It didn't. Actually had a pretty big fight about it 100 00:04:45,297 --> 00:04:47,231 and she said she would return the jacket. 101 00:04:47,297 --> 00:04:48,798 All right. So, happy ending, right? 102 00:04:48,865 --> 00:04:50,965 That's the thing, Eddie. She didn't return it. 103 00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:52,898 She went to this yoga class with a friend 104 00:04:52,965 --> 00:04:54,664 and then she came back with all this new stuff 105 00:04:54,731 --> 00:04:57,431 about how even though I earn the money, we're married, 106 00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,631 so it's our money and everything should be 50-50. 107 00:05:00,698 --> 00:05:01,731 Whoa. Wait a minute. Did you say that 108 00:05:01,798 --> 00:05:03,931 she went to a yoga class with a friend? 109 00:05:03,997 --> 00:05:05,464 Yeah. Mandy. 110 00:05:05,531 --> 00:05:07,197 Okay. I see what's happening here. 111 00:05:07,264 --> 00:05:11,764 You, young master Jeffrey, are a victim of a fight friend. 112 00:05:11,831 --> 00:05:16,264 (SIGHS) Okay, I'll bite. What's a fight friend? 113 00:05:16,331 --> 00:05:18,865 It's a person your wife runs to when you're having fights 114 00:05:18,931 --> 00:05:21,397 so she can reload with a new set of arguments. 115 00:05:21,464 --> 00:05:23,564 Some people call them fight friends, 116 00:05:23,631 --> 00:05:26,197 other people call them beeyatches. 117 00:05:26,264 --> 00:05:28,931 Either way, you lose. 118 00:05:28,997 --> 00:05:32,197 You know, I met Mandy once. She was kind of a beeyatch. 119 00:05:32,264 --> 00:05:33,831 Okay. There you go. 120 00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:35,731 You know, Joy had a beeyatch. 121 00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:38,698 Her name was Janice Indelicato. 122 00:05:38,764 --> 00:05:40,798 She used to make my life a living hell. 123 00:05:40,865 --> 00:05:43,264 Fortunately, she developed a rare skin disease 124 00:05:43,331 --> 00:05:46,297 and had to move to Switzerland for treatment. 125 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,097 So, what am I supposed to do? 126 00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:51,064 Well, you're not going to fight two women, that's for sure. 127 00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:53,364 I mean, you married Steph, not her friend. 128 00:05:53,431 --> 00:05:55,698 Does Steph let you have make-up sex with her friend? 129 00:05:55,764 --> 00:05:59,264 If so, God bless. If not, you got to put a stop to it. 130 00:05:59,331 --> 00:06:01,264 You know what, you're right. I should nip this right in the bud. 131 00:06:01,331 --> 00:06:02,731 Yeah. Good for you. 132 00:06:02,798 --> 00:06:05,698 By the way, you know that the $10 was a joke. 133 00:06:15,531 --> 00:06:18,264 Here's your flight and hotel information, and you're all set. 134 00:06:18,331 --> 00:06:20,698 You two are going to love Brazil. 135 00:06:22,331 --> 00:06:24,097 Couple of things to keep in mind. 136 00:06:24,164 --> 00:06:27,130 Just because everyone else is sunbathing topless, 137 00:06:27,197 --> 00:06:29,764 don't feel that you need to. 138 00:06:29,831 --> 00:06:31,831 And if you run out of your meds, don't worry, 139 00:06:31,898 --> 00:06:34,231 because they're very cheap down there. 140 00:06:34,297 --> 00:06:35,364 (JOY CHUCKLING) 141 00:06:35,431 --> 00:06:36,931 Oh, and one more thing. 142 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,297 Some of the women may actually be men. 143 00:06:41,331 --> 00:06:43,464 Okay! Have fun. Okay. Thanks. 144 00:06:43,531 --> 00:06:44,764 Bye-bye. 145 00:06:49,997 --> 00:06:51,798 They're going to die down there. 146 00:06:51,865 --> 00:06:54,297 I thought they were going to die in here. 147 00:06:55,264 --> 00:06:56,731 Oh, allow me. 148 00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:04,364 Looking good. 149 00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:06,564 Out you go. 150 00:07:08,397 --> 00:07:09,531 (GRUNTS) 151 00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:12,931 Hey, baby. Hey, honey. 152 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,865 Eddie, hi. Hey, Nicole. 153 00:07:14,931 --> 00:07:16,997 Make sure you say hi to your adorable husband for me. 154 00:07:17,064 --> 00:07:18,931 I will. Oh, and you know when you were over 155 00:07:18,997 --> 00:07:21,197 at my house on Sunday playing cards? 156 00:07:21,264 --> 00:07:23,197 That cake you ate out of the freezer? 157 00:07:23,264 --> 00:07:25,698 That was from my wedding. 158 00:07:25,764 --> 00:07:27,831 We ran out of chips. 159 00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:29,164 What are you doing here? 160 00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,564 Well, I figured I was open for lunch today, 161 00:07:31,631 --> 00:07:33,097 so I thought it was time to come down here 162 00:07:33,164 --> 00:07:34,898 and toss a burger down your throat. 163 00:07:34,965 --> 00:07:36,564 Oh, thank you. 164 00:07:36,631 --> 00:07:39,097 And also, I wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings about 165 00:07:39,164 --> 00:07:40,731 the marriage workshop thing, 166 00:07:40,798 --> 00:07:42,865 because, as you know, you're my best gal. 167 00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:44,798 Mmm. That's sweet. 168 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:48,331 Hey, actually, speaking of that marriage workshop, 169 00:07:48,397 --> 00:07:50,798 I was doing some thinking. 170 00:07:50,865 --> 00:07:52,764 You were? 171 00:07:52,831 --> 00:07:56,764 I mean, doesn't the fact that you won't even do this little thing for me 172 00:07:56,831 --> 00:08:00,030 speak to maybe a larger problem, 173 00:08:00,097 --> 00:08:01,764 like a lack of connection? 174 00:08:01,831 --> 00:08:04,431 Which makes me believe we actually do need the workshop. 175 00:08:04,498 --> 00:08:05,598 What? 176 00:08:09,664 --> 00:08:12,264 Wait a minute. What's with the nod? 177 00:08:12,331 --> 00:08:13,764 What do you mean? 178 00:08:13,831 --> 00:08:16,464 Do you have anything to do with this? 179 00:08:16,531 --> 00:08:21,231 Me? I'm not the one who's afraid to get better as a man. 180 00:08:21,297 --> 00:08:23,664 I can't believe you got yourself a new fight friend. 181 00:08:23,731 --> 00:08:25,965 Oh, what? You are being paranoid. 182 00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,598 Paranoid? I saw the way she nodded. 183 00:08:28,664 --> 00:08:32,331 I'm allowed to nod. It's a free country. 184 00:08:32,397 --> 00:08:36,130 Okay, yes. Yes, I talked to Nicole. She had a good point. 185 00:08:36,197 --> 00:08:38,464 What, now you're going to stop me from talking to her? 186 00:08:38,531 --> 00:08:41,464 No, I just want to know how long the two of you have been carrying on. 187 00:08:41,531 --> 00:08:43,431 The "Let's try Indian food" fight. 188 00:08:43,498 --> 00:08:44,997 Did she have something to do with that? 189 00:08:45,064 --> 00:08:47,331 You never want to try new things. 190 00:08:47,397 --> 00:08:49,798 How is this any of your business? 191 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,331 Well, apparently, I'm married to both of you, 192 00:08:53,397 --> 00:08:55,464 so why just don't the three of us go out to lunch? 193 00:08:55,531 --> 00:08:56,564 That would be delightful. 194 00:08:56,631 --> 00:08:57,731 I could eat a burger. 195 00:08:57,798 --> 00:08:58,831 (STAMMERING) 196 00:08:58,898 --> 00:08:59,965 Come on, let's get it. 197 00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,531 What just happened? 198 00:09:09,464 --> 00:09:11,831 Sure you don't want to come to yoga with me? 199 00:09:11,898 --> 00:09:13,764 No, thanks. Last time I went, 200 00:09:13,831 --> 00:09:17,564 there was this extremely flexible old man that really freaked me out. 201 00:09:18,898 --> 00:09:20,531 Hey, do you have any money? I'm out of cash. 202 00:09:20,598 --> 00:09:23,030 I was going to stop at that yogurt place with Mandy after. 203 00:09:23,097 --> 00:09:26,431 Yeah. Sure. Let me see what I got. 204 00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:30,431 Ah, I got $40, and 20 for you. 205 00:09:31,331 --> 00:09:32,865 50-50, right? 206 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:38,831 Honey, you're not still mad about our money fight, are you? 207 00:09:38,898 --> 00:09:40,564 No, no, no. You were right. 208 00:09:40,631 --> 00:09:42,764 We're married. It's our money. 209 00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:44,331 Thank you. Yeah. 210 00:09:44,397 --> 00:09:47,865 Oh, a birthday card from my grammy. 211 00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,030 Aw. 212 00:09:50,097 --> 00:09:52,531 (GASPS) $100? 213 00:09:54,731 --> 00:09:58,397 She's too sweet. 214 00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:00,798 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 215 00:10:01,831 --> 00:10:03,598 What? 216 00:10:03,664 --> 00:10:07,097 You just had this whole thing about how our money's supposed to be 50-50. 217 00:10:07,164 --> 00:10:08,865 Yeah. So? 218 00:10:08,931 --> 00:10:12,364 Well, you got two $50 bills in your pocket, 219 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,431 and my 20. 220 00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:19,931 Just trying to figure out the rules here, you know, just... 221 00:10:19,997 --> 00:10:21,397 What are you saying? 222 00:10:21,464 --> 00:10:24,164 You want half of my grammy's birthday money? 223 00:10:24,231 --> 00:10:25,965 Well, considering that's the biggest paycheck 224 00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:28,498 you've gotten this fiscal year. 225 00:10:28,564 --> 00:10:32,831 Jeff, this is a birthday present from my grandmother. 226 00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:34,631 I understand that, and Grammy's great. 227 00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:36,197 She's a fine lady when she's awake. 228 00:10:36,264 --> 00:10:38,698 I just... Look. 229 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:41,831 I don't understand why this doesn't flow both ways. 230 00:10:41,898 --> 00:10:43,631 Because this is different. 231 00:10:43,698 --> 00:10:45,197 Different how? 232 00:10:47,264 --> 00:10:50,264 I don't know, but I'm sure it's different. 233 00:10:50,331 --> 00:10:52,364 I have to go to yoga. We'll talk about this later. 234 00:10:52,431 --> 00:10:53,731 Whoa, no, no, no, no. Hey. 235 00:10:53,798 --> 00:10:55,130 You're not going anywhere, all right? 236 00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:56,898 Especially not to meet your fight friend. 237 00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:58,531 My what? 238 00:10:58,598 --> 00:11:02,231 Mandy, the mastermind behind your whole big suede jacket scam. 239 00:11:02,297 --> 00:11:03,965 I shouldn't have to fight two women 240 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,097 unless I get to have make-up sex with Mandy, too. 241 00:11:06,164 --> 00:11:08,764 Scratch that. It's bad. Scratch that. 242 00:11:08,831 --> 00:11:11,865 Look, this fight is between you and me, 243 00:11:11,931 --> 00:11:15,464 and you are not leaving until this is over. 244 00:11:15,531 --> 00:11:18,164 Did you just lock me in my own house? 245 00:11:18,231 --> 00:11:19,331 No. 246 00:11:20,698 --> 00:11:23,431 Well, drive safely, honey. 247 00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:31,865 Okay. In exactly T-minus 36 hours, 248 00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:33,965 I'm going to be stuck in a hotel ballroom 249 00:11:34,030 --> 00:11:36,130 with Tammy Thomas Tomlinson 250 00:11:36,197 --> 00:11:41,364 telling me why I'm a failure to my wife, myself, and perhaps my Lord. 251 00:11:41,431 --> 00:11:43,798 Tammy Tigger Thomason? What is that, a puppet? 252 00:11:43,865 --> 00:11:45,030 No. She's a marriage counselor, 253 00:11:45,097 --> 00:11:48,364 and your wife put that idea in Joy's head. 254 00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:50,097 Really? Yes. 255 00:11:50,164 --> 00:11:52,464 You should've seen the way they double-teamed me yesterday at lunch. 256 00:11:52,531 --> 00:11:54,030 I was so worked up, I could only eat 257 00:11:54,097 --> 00:11:56,498 two burgers and a basket of wings. 258 00:11:58,631 --> 00:11:59,997 That sucks. 259 00:12:01,197 --> 00:12:03,231 That's all you have to say? 260 00:12:05,297 --> 00:12:07,631 Women are from Venus? 261 00:12:07,698 --> 00:12:09,097 See, that's my point right there. 262 00:12:09,164 --> 00:12:11,264 If you and I were women and I had this problem, 263 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,331 our brains would've already fused together 264 00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:15,664 into one big, mega woman brain 265 00:12:15,731 --> 00:12:17,364 and I would have 10 great reasons 266 00:12:17,431 --> 00:12:19,197 why I don't have to go to this thing on Saturday. 267 00:12:19,264 --> 00:12:22,464 Okay, okay. How about you tell her this? 268 00:12:23,865 --> 00:12:26,130 How about you tell her that you heard that sometimes 269 00:12:26,197 --> 00:12:30,397 marriage counseling causes more problems than it solves, hmm? 270 00:12:30,464 --> 00:12:32,064 Okay, that's good. That's good. 271 00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,931 Where did I hear it? 272 00:12:35,997 --> 00:12:37,831 The New York Times. 273 00:12:37,898 --> 00:12:39,631 I like it! Hey, you know what? 274 00:12:39,698 --> 00:12:41,130 Nicole is over at my house right now. 275 00:12:41,197 --> 00:12:42,431 What do you say you go back over with me? 276 00:12:42,498 --> 00:12:44,164 You could be my backup. 277 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:47,097 I don't know, man. I got enough to fight with my wife about as it is. 278 00:12:47,164 --> 00:12:50,130 We just had a big one at the movies when I didn't butter her popcorn. 279 00:12:50,197 --> 00:12:53,798 Apparently, that's my passive-aggressive way of calling her fat. 280 00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:58,197 And I said, "Honey, if I wanted to call you fat, I'd just call you fat." 281 00:12:58,997 --> 00:13:01,364 That did not help. 282 00:13:01,431 --> 00:13:03,498 Okay, so because you can't get a popcorn order right, 283 00:13:03,564 --> 00:13:07,297 I have to go home alone and fight two wives like I'm a Mormon? 284 00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:09,030 Come on. Don't do this to me, man. 285 00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:10,698 Come on. Look, Joy has help. 286 00:13:10,764 --> 00:13:12,764 I need someone on my side. 287 00:13:13,898 --> 00:13:16,264 All right. I'll be your corner man. 288 00:13:16,331 --> 00:13:17,698 I'll be your Mickey to your Rocky. 289 00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,931 Great. I don't want to be Mickey. 290 00:13:19,997 --> 00:13:21,831 He's old. I'll be Apollo Creed. 291 00:13:21,898 --> 00:13:23,664 He has a cool name. Okay. All right. 292 00:13:23,731 --> 00:13:25,464 No, no, no. I don't want to be Apollo Creed. 293 00:13:25,531 --> 00:13:28,197 Man, he fought Rocky. I don't want to fight you. 294 00:13:28,264 --> 00:13:30,598 Oh, of course, he only fought Rocky in the first and the second one, 295 00:13:30,664 --> 00:13:32,631 and then, you know, in the third one, Mickey dies, 296 00:13:32,698 --> 00:13:35,030 and then he coaches him when he fights Mr. T. 297 00:13:36,197 --> 00:13:37,464 I want to be Mr. T! 298 00:13:37,531 --> 00:13:38,931 Okay. Okay. 299 00:13:41,064 --> 00:13:43,564 * Hey! 300 00:13:43,631 --> 00:13:46,997 Hello, Joy, Nicole. Hi. 301 00:13:47,064 --> 00:13:48,764 Look who I ran into. 302 00:13:48,831 --> 00:13:50,431 How y'all doing? 303 00:13:55,498 --> 00:13:57,097 Eddie, what's going on? 304 00:13:57,164 --> 00:13:58,631 Oh, nothing, really. 305 00:13:58,698 --> 00:14:01,130 Just hanging out with my friend, 306 00:14:01,197 --> 00:14:04,498 the way you're hanging out with your friend. 307 00:14:04,564 --> 00:14:06,331 We both got friends. 308 00:14:07,798 --> 00:14:11,764 That's right. People we can talk to about our lives, 309 00:14:11,831 --> 00:14:14,097 who can give us new insights. 310 00:14:14,164 --> 00:14:15,931 My friend nods, too. 311 00:14:20,698 --> 00:14:22,464 Oh, my God. Are you still on that? 312 00:14:22,531 --> 00:14:27,798 Oh, I am on it, I am all under it, and I'm all around it. 313 00:14:27,865 --> 00:14:28,931 Are you scared? 314 00:14:28,997 --> 00:14:30,664 Not really. You're not? 315 00:14:30,731 --> 00:14:32,064 No. 316 00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,231 Okay. 317 00:14:36,931 --> 00:14:38,731 So, you really think that he's going to help you 318 00:14:38,798 --> 00:14:40,698 argue your way out of the workshop? 319 00:14:40,764 --> 00:14:43,264 Maybe. May not need him at all. 320 00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:44,965 Actually, I've been doing a little reading on my own 321 00:14:45,064 --> 00:14:49,631 about the marriage counseling workshops, 322 00:14:49,698 --> 00:14:52,965 and turns out that they may cause more problems than they solve. 323 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:54,865 That's not me talking, that's The New Yorker. 324 00:14:54,931 --> 00:14:57,764 New York Times. New York Times. 325 00:14:57,831 --> 00:14:59,397 When did you read The New York Times? 326 00:14:59,464 --> 00:15:00,731 On the bus. What bus? 327 00:15:00,798 --> 00:15:02,764 The downtown bus. Downtown bus to where? 328 00:15:02,831 --> 00:15:06,030 The New York Times. 329 00:15:06,097 --> 00:15:08,197 That's it. You got 'em, champ. You got 'em. You got 'em. 330 00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:09,997 Bob and weave. Bob and weave. 331 00:15:10,064 --> 00:15:12,030 I got you. I got you. 332 00:15:12,097 --> 00:15:13,464 (INAUDIBLE) 333 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,698 See, that's how they roll. See what they do there? 334 00:15:16,764 --> 00:15:17,764 No, no, no. Don't even worry about that. 335 00:15:17,831 --> 00:15:18,865 Yeah. See that? Mmm-hmm. 336 00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:20,464 It's what they do. Yeah. 337 00:15:20,531 --> 00:15:23,264 Let me ask you a question, Eddie. 338 00:15:23,331 --> 00:15:26,130 Do you think you're a good husband? 339 00:15:26,197 --> 00:15:27,831 Hold it. Careful. 340 00:15:29,531 --> 00:15:31,331 Smells like a trap. 341 00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:34,130 Just answer the question. 342 00:15:35,130 --> 00:15:36,264 Hmm. 343 00:15:39,498 --> 00:15:40,865 (INAUDIBLE) 344 00:15:46,598 --> 00:15:47,698 Pass. 345 00:15:54,231 --> 00:15:56,130 You can't pass. 346 00:15:56,197 --> 00:15:59,064 I can't? Then, yes. 347 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,898 Okay, so you are so perfect, 348 00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:05,397 there's no room for improvement? 349 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:08,164 I see eight things wrong with you right now. 350 00:16:10,464 --> 00:16:12,731 Well, I'm just saying I don't need some hokey workshop 351 00:16:12,798 --> 00:16:14,197 to keep my wife happy. 352 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,431 Are you saying you refuse to give back 353 00:16:16,498 --> 00:16:18,297 just a little bit to your wife, 354 00:16:18,364 --> 00:16:21,164 the woman who drained your coccyx cyst 355 00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,064 every day for three weeks 356 00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:26,197 and still had the stomach to make love to you? 357 00:16:28,764 --> 00:16:30,464 Damn, that's nasty. 358 00:16:32,564 --> 00:16:35,030 Maybe you should go to that workshop. 359 00:16:35,097 --> 00:16:37,164 Excuse us a second, will you? 360 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,531 Whose side are you on? 361 00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:45,464 Yours, but unless you have something that's gonna top coccyx cyst, you're dead. 362 00:16:45,531 --> 00:16:46,898 What do you got? I got nothing. 363 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,831 You know that these women have this huge database 364 00:16:48,898 --> 00:16:50,931 about stuff they can use against us. 365 00:16:50,997 --> 00:16:52,130 I don't have a memory like that. 366 00:16:52,197 --> 00:16:53,531 If I close my eyes right now, 367 00:16:53,598 --> 00:16:57,331 I couldn't even tell you what clothes I was wearing. 368 00:16:57,397 --> 00:16:58,965 You should just give up, man. 369 00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:00,764 Hey, the workshop's only four Saturdays. 370 00:17:00,831 --> 00:17:02,664 I'll tape the college games for you. 371 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:05,097 No way. I'm not dying on this hill. 372 00:17:05,164 --> 00:17:07,231 I got to do something. 373 00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:09,397 Unless you can come back from her squeezing pus out of your coccyx... 374 00:17:09,464 --> 00:17:10,997 (WHINES) 375 00:17:17,664 --> 00:17:20,664 Oh, sure. Joy drained my cyst, 376 00:17:20,731 --> 00:17:24,798 but I help my wife, too, just like you help your wife 377 00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:26,698 when you wouldn't put butter on her popcorn 378 00:17:26,764 --> 00:17:29,498 'cause you were concerned about her weight. 379 00:17:32,931 --> 00:17:33,931 What? 380 00:17:33,997 --> 00:17:35,464 (SPEAKING KOREAN) 381 00:17:37,531 --> 00:17:39,997 Oh, God. She's speaking Korean. 382 00:17:41,431 --> 00:17:42,931 Why did you do that, man? 383 00:17:42,997 --> 00:17:45,464 I'm sorry, buddy, but your wife is a heat-seeking missile, 384 00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:48,231 and I had to deploy you as countermeasure. 385 00:17:48,297 --> 00:17:51,498 (SPEAKING KOREAN) 386 00:17:51,564 --> 00:17:54,564 Baby, I didn't call you fat. I just forgot the butter! 387 00:17:54,631 --> 00:17:55,664 Butter, butter! 388 00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:56,764 (SPEAKING KOREAN) 389 00:17:56,831 --> 00:17:58,564 I am out of here. 390 00:17:58,631 --> 00:18:01,464 I... Baby, but you can't go. You're my ride home! 391 00:18:01,531 --> 00:18:03,698 (SPEAKING KOREAN) 392 00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:09,831 My tapes don't speak that fast. 393 00:18:09,898 --> 00:18:12,030 I don't even know what she's saying! 394 00:18:12,097 --> 00:18:14,264 Baby! Wait! 395 00:18:14,331 --> 00:18:16,698 All right, well, listen. Have a good time at that workshop 396 00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:18,898 and I'll tape the games for you. 397 00:18:22,097 --> 00:18:25,631 I cannot believe you just threw your friend under a bus like that. 398 00:18:25,698 --> 00:18:28,831 Oh, come on. He'll be fine. She wasn't even that mad. 399 00:18:30,564 --> 00:18:35,731 Wow. You must really be desperate not to go to that workshop. 400 00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:37,965 Come on. They're the ones who need the workshop. 401 00:18:38,064 --> 00:18:39,865 I mean, we're fine, Joy. 402 00:18:39,931 --> 00:18:42,164 Why do we got to sit in a circle at the airport Ramada 403 00:18:42,231 --> 00:18:45,997 with Tommy Timmy Templeton telling us how to love? 404 00:18:46,064 --> 00:18:48,664 You know what? You're right. 405 00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:50,764 Forget about it. 406 00:18:50,831 --> 00:18:52,097 (CABINET DOOR BANGING) 407 00:18:55,297 --> 00:18:57,097 I mean, yeah, sure, we've got problems, 408 00:18:57,164 --> 00:18:59,631 but I happen to think that our worst problem 409 00:18:59,698 --> 00:19:01,931 is this freaking refrigerator. 410 00:19:03,631 --> 00:19:05,064 (BANGING) 411 00:19:07,531 --> 00:19:09,564 All right. All right. All right. 412 00:19:09,631 --> 00:19:12,431 Does my lady want a new refrigerator? 413 00:19:12,498 --> 00:19:14,698 Then that's what my lady gets. 414 00:19:15,498 --> 00:19:16,598 Are you serious? 415 00:19:16,664 --> 00:19:18,030 Absolutely. 416 00:19:19,865 --> 00:19:21,464 You're the best. 417 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,297 But I got to be honest. 418 00:19:27,364 --> 00:19:29,698 I am going to miss that stabbing. 419 00:19:37,631 --> 00:19:40,898 Give it a few more whacks for your daddy. Go ahead. 420 00:19:43,798 --> 00:19:45,598 That's it. Go on. 421 00:19:45,664 --> 00:19:47,364 That's it. Mmm. 422 00:19:47,431 --> 00:19:49,097 Yeah, baby. Yes! 423 00:19:49,164 --> 00:19:51,264 Yes, baby. Yes. Oh! 424 00:19:54,064 --> 00:19:56,798 Hey, Eddie, I know you feel bad about the new fridge, man, 425 00:19:56,865 --> 00:19:58,898 but I got to tell you, she's a beauty. 426 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,865 Sleek. Built to last. 427 00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:04,698 Big, old bottom bin, just like I like them. 428 00:20:05,698 --> 00:20:06,798 Look, it's just an appliance. 429 00:20:06,865 --> 00:20:08,664 Take it down a notch. 430 00:20:08,731 --> 00:20:10,664 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 431 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,764 What's up, Crockett? Tubbs? 432 00:20:18,331 --> 00:20:19,664 You know, I just took this yoga class 433 00:20:19,731 --> 00:20:21,331 with Steph and her friend Mandy. 434 00:20:21,397 --> 00:20:23,064 I had my head further between my legs 435 00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:25,297 than I ever thought possible. 436 00:20:27,064 --> 00:20:29,164 Wow. 437 00:20:29,231 --> 00:20:31,498 So, you're hanging with her fight friend? 438 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,997 Come on, man. You can't consort with the enemy. 439 00:20:34,064 --> 00:20:36,064 Oh, no, I had it all wrong about Mandy. 440 00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:39,598 She actually told Steph to give me her grammy's birthday money as a thank-you 441 00:20:39,664 --> 00:20:41,231 for how hard I work. 442 00:20:41,297 --> 00:20:43,197 Really? Mmm-hmm. 443 00:20:43,264 --> 00:20:44,965 Please tell me you invested some of it in a bronzing cream. 444 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:46,764 (LAUGHS) No. 445 00:20:46,831 --> 00:20:48,197 It was such a nice gesture, 446 00:20:48,264 --> 00:20:52,531 I actually took the money and bought Steph a day of beauty. 447 00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:54,498 Oh, my God. Don't you see what's happening here? 448 00:20:54,564 --> 00:20:56,865 She played you. Steph let you win. 449 00:20:56,931 --> 00:20:59,030 She knew that you would feel bad and get all mushy 450 00:20:59,097 --> 00:21:00,798 and then do something nice for her. 451 00:21:00,861 --> 00:21:03,327 It's a classic bait-and-switch. 452 00:21:03,397 --> 00:21:05,631 Oh, you mean, like, if I wanted a new fridge, 453 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,931 but I pretended to want to go to a marriage workshop 454 00:21:07,997 --> 00:21:11,631 'cause I knew you'd say no and feel bad and then let me buy one? 455 00:21:11,698 --> 00:21:13,498 (GIGGLES) 456 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:14,898 That would be funny. 457 00:21:14,965 --> 00:21:15,997 (LAUGHING) 458 00:21:16,064 --> 00:21:17,664 That would be funny. 459 00:21:31,297 --> 00:21:33,097 I never had a chance. 34771

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