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www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:01,561 --> 00:00:04,928
(JINGLE PLAYING)
3
00:00:05,528 --> 00:00:07,061
(PHONE RINGING)
4
00:00:15,294 --> 00:00:18,127
When was the last time
I got a phone call?
5
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,828
Fine,
let the machine get it.
6
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,194
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPING)
7
00:00:22,261 --> 00:00:24,228
Hi, Eddie and Joy.
It's Linda.
8
00:00:24,294 --> 00:00:27,261
We just wanted to wish you
a happy anniversary,
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00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,495
two days late.
10
00:00:28,561 --> 00:00:30,061
So sorry we missed it.
11
00:00:30,127 --> 00:00:32,027
Hope you guys had a great day.
12
00:00:32,094 --> 00:00:33,161
Bye!
13
00:00:33,228 --> 00:00:34,761
(MACHINE BEEPS)
14
00:00:35,528 --> 00:00:36,595
Huh.
15
00:00:39,528 --> 00:00:41,261
Yep. We missed her.
16
00:00:43,361 --> 00:00:45,361
What were we doing
two days ago?
17
00:00:45,428 --> 00:00:48,994
Uh, I think that's the day
you started on
your anti-fungal cream.
18
00:00:52,294 --> 00:00:53,962
Happy anniversary.
19
00:00:55,261 --> 00:00:57,261
You're my sweet-ass girl.
20
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,561
* All Right!
21
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:01,828
* Hey!
22
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,661
* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
23
00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:08,928
So I pulled
a bunch of brochures
24
00:01:08,994 --> 00:01:10,027
for you guys at work,
25
00:01:10,094 --> 00:01:11,428
but I think
that this is the hotel
26
00:01:11,495 --> 00:01:12,661
that's gonna work
best for you.
27
00:01:12,728 --> 00:01:14,261
It's the lodge
at Mount Pocono.
28
00:01:14,328 --> 00:01:16,361
Oh, this is so cute.
29
00:01:16,428 --> 00:01:17,895
Look, horse trails.
30
00:01:17,962 --> 00:01:19,394
Oh! Apple picking.
31
00:01:19,461 --> 00:01:22,161
Ooh, apple picking.
Now there's hell on earth.
32
00:01:23,595 --> 00:01:25,795
Eddie is very opposed
to apple picking.
33
00:01:25,862 --> 00:01:28,328
Well, it's just everyone
always wants me
to get the high apples.
34
00:01:28,394 --> 00:01:29,994
It's relentless.
35
00:01:32,061 --> 00:01:34,061
I'm a man, not a giraffe.
36
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,495
Anyway,
they've just redone it,
37
00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:39,528
so the rates are very low
this weekend.
38
00:01:39,595 --> 00:01:41,061
They're trying to get
customers back.
39
00:01:41,127 --> 00:01:42,294
Oh, it looks nice.
40
00:01:42,361 --> 00:01:43,795
It's within
walking distance of town.
41
00:01:43,862 --> 00:01:46,828
Hey, there's a fudge factory!
42
00:01:46,895 --> 00:01:49,228
So, you guys going for
any reason, or just...
43
00:01:49,294 --> 00:01:52,294
Just trying to make
some memories, you know?
44
00:01:52,361 --> 00:01:55,061
No. No, I don't know.
45
00:01:55,127 --> 00:01:57,761
No, Eddie doesn't like
to travel,
46
00:01:57,828 --> 00:01:59,495
and, of course,
I'm a travel agent.
47
00:01:59,561 --> 00:02:01,361
Which is just another reason
48
00:02:01,428 --> 00:02:04,795
why I have a very bad
chardonnay problem.
49
00:02:04,862 --> 00:02:06,994
I am very willing to travel.
50
00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:08,061
You know where I want to go.
51
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,828
Oh, that's right.
I'm sorry.
52
00:02:09,895 --> 00:02:11,628
I stand corrected.
Eddie's dream...
53
00:02:11,695 --> 00:02:15,094
My dream is to go
to the arctic wilderness
54
00:02:15,161 --> 00:02:17,061
of Alaska.
55
00:02:17,127 --> 00:02:20,528
Vast, frozen tundra
of snowy nothingness.
56
00:02:20,595 --> 00:02:23,061
The only sound you hear
is the howling wind
57
00:02:23,127 --> 00:02:25,261
and your own heartbeat.
58
00:02:25,328 --> 00:02:26,728
Good times.
59
00:02:28,461 --> 00:02:30,361
Oh, that's too bad.
60
00:02:30,428 --> 00:02:32,394
I mean, I was going to say
since it's such a great deal
61
00:02:32,461 --> 00:02:34,328
you guys
should join us this weekend.
62
00:02:34,394 --> 00:02:36,962
Yeah, that is too bad.
63
00:02:37,027 --> 00:02:39,928
You sure?
We love doubles tennis.
64
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,895
Oh, I'm now so sure
65
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,895
that I'm willing to
take out an ad saying so.
66
00:02:47,361 --> 00:02:51,328
JOY: Why don't you ever want
to go away on
a romantic weekend with me?
67
00:02:51,394 --> 00:02:52,795
Would it be so bad
68
00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:55,495
if we went away together
one time?
69
00:02:55,561 --> 00:02:57,495
Might be.
70
00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:59,294
Look, we could do
the apple thing here.
71
00:02:59,361 --> 00:03:00,895
I'll go to the market,
I'll pick some up
72
00:03:00,962 --> 00:03:03,862
and I'll hide 'em
around the house.
73
00:03:03,928 --> 00:03:06,495
It's not an apple hunt,
it's apple...
74
00:03:08,962 --> 00:03:10,495
You know what?
75
00:03:10,561 --> 00:03:11,928
Never mind.
76
00:03:16,228 --> 00:03:17,928
All right, so...
77
00:03:17,994 --> 00:03:19,294
You really want to do this?
78
00:03:19,361 --> 00:03:22,428
Yes. I really, really
want to do this.
79
00:03:23,194 --> 00:03:24,194
Come on.
80
00:03:24,261 --> 00:03:25,595
How about this?
81
00:03:25,661 --> 00:03:30,661
Listen, it can count as
my anniversary
and my birthday gift.
82
00:03:30,728 --> 00:03:34,795
And we could stop by
the Rochester Big & Tall
outlet on the way.
83
00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:37,962
Great prices, without
the uncomfortable stares.
84
00:03:40,795 --> 00:03:42,828
I'm gonna go get my sizes.
85
00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:50,428
(JINGLE PLAYING)
86
00:03:54,595 --> 00:03:56,127
Look at you guys.
87
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,862
Up in the mountains,
having fun.
88
00:03:58,928 --> 00:04:00,428
Fun, yeah.
89
00:04:00,495 --> 00:04:03,962
I had to tip
four different people
to get out of the lobby.
90
00:04:04,027 --> 00:04:07,628
Just want to get up
to my room
and stop the bleeding.
91
00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:09,461
(SNICKERING) Stop.
What?
92
00:04:09,528 --> 00:04:10,528
Stop!
What? What?
93
00:04:10,595 --> 00:04:11,661
Stop poking me.
94
00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:13,795
Why? Does this bother you?
Huh? Huh?
95
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,461
Does this bother you, huh?
96
00:04:15,528 --> 00:04:17,495
Does this tickle
my little pooky-bear?
97
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,261
Does it? Hmm?
98
00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:24,862
Please, God,
let me hear a ding.
99
00:04:26,994 --> 00:04:28,094
Ding!
100
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:30,628
Ding, damn it!
101
00:04:32,895 --> 00:04:35,061
Will you look at this room?
102
00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:38,094
We have our own
faux log fireplace.
103
00:04:38,161 --> 00:04:39,628
Check it out.
104
00:04:41,828 --> 00:04:45,194
Where's my big soap?
Tell me
you packed my big soap.
105
00:04:45,261 --> 00:04:46,528
Eddie, they have soap here.
106
00:04:46,595 --> 00:04:48,194
I don't like
the little soaps.
107
00:04:48,261 --> 00:04:51,161
I always lose 'em
somewhere on my body.
108
00:04:51,228 --> 00:04:53,261
Plus, it always takes me
three hours to unwrap it,
109
00:04:53,328 --> 00:04:55,628
and then the next morning
somehow
they're wrapped again.
110
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:57,761
I don't have
that kind of time.
111
00:04:57,828 --> 00:04:59,661
Oh. Oh, thank God.
112
00:05:01,628 --> 00:05:03,361
Pass me the remote.
113
00:05:08,061 --> 00:05:09,328
Go ahead.
114
00:05:13,394 --> 00:05:15,828
What's happening?
115
00:05:15,895 --> 00:05:18,261
Do you know how many people
have touched this?
116
00:05:18,328 --> 00:05:22,394
You hold a microscope
up to this thing,
you'd never stop screaming.
117
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,595
* Oh, yeah
118
00:05:31,628 --> 00:05:32,661
Ew!
119
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,361
What's up? You okay?
120
00:05:36,428 --> 00:05:38,228
What? Yeah, I'm fine.
121
00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:41,294
What was "ew"?
122
00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:44,528
I... Nothing.
I just had a weird dream.
123
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:47,361
Oh, look at
all these activities
they've got.
124
00:05:47,428 --> 00:05:50,261
I'm dying to try
judo by the old mill.
125
00:05:50,328 --> 00:05:51,661
Hey, baby,
what was your dream, huh?
126
00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:53,194
Don't worry about it.
127
00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:55,728
No, come on. What kind of
freaky-deaky fantasies
128
00:05:55,795 --> 00:05:59,461
are swimming around
my little love kitten's
subconscious mind, huh?
129
00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:02,428
I had kind of a sex dream
about Eddie, okay?
130
00:06:06,194 --> 00:06:08,394
Wow. I wasn't expecting that.
131
00:06:10,127 --> 00:06:11,361
* Hey
132
00:06:11,428 --> 00:06:12,428
* Ooh
133
00:06:14,628 --> 00:06:15,628
* All right!
134
00:06:15,695 --> 00:06:17,094
* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
135
00:06:17,161 --> 00:06:18,994
And a little of that cheddar.
136
00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:20,228
Perfect. Thanks.
137
00:06:20,294 --> 00:06:22,094
I don't understand
how you can do this.
138
00:06:22,161 --> 00:06:23,628
Do what?
Just stand there,
139
00:06:23,695 --> 00:06:25,361
and casually design
your own breakfast scramble
140
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,428
after what you told me
in the room.
141
00:06:27,495 --> 00:06:28,595
It was just a dream.
142
00:06:28,661 --> 00:06:31,027
And you forced it
out of me.
143
00:06:31,094 --> 00:06:33,661
Are you really gonna eat
14 sausage links?
144
00:06:33,728 --> 00:06:35,194
I don't know
what's goin' on down there.
145
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,461
I'm very worked up right now.
146
00:06:37,528 --> 00:06:38,828
Listen, Steph,
do me a favor.
147
00:06:38,895 --> 00:06:40,862
Tell me everything
you remember
about the dream
148
00:06:40,928 --> 00:06:43,161
so I can stop picturing
some pretty sick stuff
in my head.
149
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:44,461
Will that really help you?
150
00:06:44,528 --> 00:06:45,862
Yeah.
Fine.
151
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:50,228
Well, I was in this field,
152
00:06:50,294 --> 00:06:52,528
and I was churning butter...
153
00:06:55,194 --> 00:06:57,495
Okay, all right.
154
00:06:57,561 --> 00:06:58,828
We're gonna need to
sell the house
155
00:06:58,895 --> 00:07:01,161
'cause I can't
live next door to this guy.
156
00:07:01,228 --> 00:07:02,761
You told me to tell you.
157
00:07:02,828 --> 00:07:04,695
Yeah. I feel nauseous.
158
00:07:06,661 --> 00:07:09,328
I am so sorry
this whole thing came up.
159
00:07:09,394 --> 00:07:11,661
It was just a dream.
It didn't mean anything.
160
00:07:11,728 --> 00:07:13,161
My head probably got
all jumbled up
161
00:07:13,228 --> 00:07:15,661
because I ran into him
at the ice machine
late last night.
162
00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:18,328
Well, I guess he made
quite an impression on you.
163
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,261
He didn't, I swear.
164
00:07:20,328 --> 00:07:22,261
He was wearing
these old pajamas,
165
00:07:22,328 --> 00:07:23,795
and he would only
touch the ice tongs
166
00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:27,428
after he put
a baggie over his hand.
167
00:07:27,495 --> 00:07:30,862
Honey, come on.
I don't want this to
ruin our weekend.
168
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:33,528
Hello, Woodcocks.
169
00:07:33,595 --> 00:07:35,495
Oh, a little jumpy
this morning, are we?
170
00:07:35,561 --> 00:07:36,695
Where's Joy?
171
00:07:36,761 --> 00:07:39,528
She went off on an all-day
bird-watching expedition.
172
00:07:39,595 --> 00:07:41,161
I guess she really wanted
to get away from me,
173
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:44,261
'cause birds sort of
freak her out.
174
00:07:44,328 --> 00:07:46,061
Mind if I join you?
175
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,361
Everything okay?
176
00:07:52,495 --> 00:07:53,528
Hey, you got a little jam...
177
00:07:53,595 --> 00:07:55,695
Keep your hands
off my wife!
178
00:08:01,695 --> 00:08:03,261
Easy, Woodcock.
179
00:08:03,328 --> 00:08:06,461
I always make it my policy
to say something
in these situations.
180
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,928
When I was a boy,
I watched my father try
to take out a home loan
181
00:08:09,994 --> 00:08:11,795
with pizza sauce on his face.
182
00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:14,728
Needless to say, loan denied.
183
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,661
Excuse me. I gotta go.
184
00:08:21,328 --> 00:08:24,761
Let me guess, she's mad
because you stole her sweater?
185
00:08:32,061 --> 00:08:34,828
This is my sweater. All right?
186
00:08:34,895 --> 00:08:37,127
A man can wear a duck sweater.
187
00:08:39,161 --> 00:08:40,461
Okay.
188
00:08:40,528 --> 00:08:42,194
But it just seems like
something's going on,
189
00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:46,761
because that vein
on your forehead
is bluer than usual.
190
00:08:46,828 --> 00:08:49,695
This isn't about me, Eddie.
This is about you. You!
191
00:08:49,761 --> 00:08:52,094
You lurking around
the ice machine late at night
192
00:08:52,161 --> 00:08:56,027
with your PJ's
and your hand-baggies.
193
00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:58,027
You know, if only
I had gone to get the ice
194
00:08:58,094 --> 00:08:59,228
none of this
would have happened.
195
00:08:59,294 --> 00:09:00,561
What are you talkin' about?
196
00:09:00,628 --> 00:09:03,194
Steph had a sex dream
about you last night!
197
00:09:14,228 --> 00:09:15,862
Really?
Okay, yeah.
198
00:09:15,928 --> 00:09:17,895
Just push the fork
right into me.
199
00:09:17,962 --> 00:09:19,761
Right here.
Right in the center, Eddie!
200
00:09:19,828 --> 00:09:22,428
Well, well, well.
Details, Woodcock.
201
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,661
I don't know details.
All right?
202
00:09:24,728 --> 00:09:28,228
Well, was I a tender lover?
203
00:09:28,294 --> 00:09:32,528
Was I giving?
Did I have some kind of goatee
or facial hair?
204
00:09:32,595 --> 00:09:34,228
You're goin' right up
against the line, Eddie,
205
00:09:34,294 --> 00:09:35,495
and you don't want to
go there, okay?
206
00:09:35,561 --> 00:09:37,294
You don't want to mess
with this.
207
00:09:37,361 --> 00:09:39,528
What? Your duck?
208
00:09:39,595 --> 00:09:44,094
First of all,
this is a mallard. Okay?
209
00:09:44,161 --> 00:09:45,461
And that is your last warning,
210
00:09:45,528 --> 00:09:47,461
because I will take you out
to that orchard
211
00:09:47,528 --> 00:09:51,828
and beat your ass
in front of all those apples,
all right?
212
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:54,094
All right.
Lighten up, Woodcock.
213
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:58,528
Erotic dreams about people
other than your spouse
are a natural thing.
214
00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,561
Doesn't mean anything.
215
00:10:00,628 --> 00:10:02,161
And that being said,
216
00:10:02,228 --> 00:10:04,161
if your lovely wife
didn't get her fill of me,
217
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,895
I will be returning
to the ice machine
218
00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:08,761
for a command performance
around midnight.
219
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,027
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Hello.
220
00:10:17,394 --> 00:10:19,261
* Oh, yeah
221
00:10:20,094 --> 00:10:22,027
* Yeah!
222
00:10:22,094 --> 00:10:23,928
* Oh, oh, oh!
223
00:10:25,094 --> 00:10:26,528
* Your teacher
224
00:10:26,595 --> 00:10:28,127
* The subject
225
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:31,228
* Of schoolgirl fantasy
226
00:10:31,294 --> 00:10:34,294
* She wants you so badly
227
00:10:35,228 --> 00:10:38,194
* Of schoolgirl fantasy
228
00:10:39,328 --> 00:10:40,828
JOY: Hello?
229
00:10:40,895 --> 00:10:42,595
There she is.
230
00:10:42,661 --> 00:10:43,994
How was bird watching?
231
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,428
Pretty awful.
232
00:10:45,495 --> 00:10:48,294
An angry woodpecker
attacked me for my trail mix.
233
00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:52,495
Fantastic.
234
00:10:55,795 --> 00:10:56,895
What's with you?
235
00:10:56,962 --> 00:10:58,728
Oh, just gettin' dressed
for dinner.
236
00:10:58,795 --> 00:11:00,795
Went down to the hotel store,
237
00:11:00,862 --> 00:11:03,261
and got some dressy
Tommy Bahamas.
238
00:11:03,962 --> 00:11:05,628
And
239
00:11:05,695 --> 00:11:09,528
a crystal owl
for my bird lady
240
00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:11,361
(IMITATING OWL)
"whoo" I love.
241
00:11:17,428 --> 00:11:19,561
Thank you.
What is going on with you?
242
00:11:19,628 --> 00:11:21,027
What?
243
00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:23,328
Not allowed
to have a nice time?
244
00:11:23,394 --> 00:11:26,895
I'm away in the mountains
with my beautiful wife.
245
00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:28,761
Eddie, when I left you
this morning,
246
00:11:28,828 --> 00:11:30,795
you were shuffling
across the bathroom floor
247
00:11:30,862 --> 00:11:35,094
on two hand towels
so your bare feet
wouldn't touch tile.
248
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,027
Well, things can change.
249
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:40,027
I don't know
if it's the glow
of our fake fireplace,
250
00:11:40,094 --> 00:11:42,194
or the taste
of the free mouthwash
251
00:11:42,261 --> 00:11:43,994
that still lingers
on my lips,
252
00:11:44,061 --> 00:11:47,361
but I gotta tell you,
I'm feelin' the romance here.
253
00:11:48,228 --> 00:11:49,495
Mmm-hmm.
254
00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:50,528
Where do you want
to go for dinner?
255
00:11:50,595 --> 00:11:52,194
You want to go
to the Jazz Loft,
256
00:11:52,261 --> 00:11:55,394
or "Reflections,
a place for dining"?
257
00:11:55,461 --> 00:11:57,161
I'm gonna go
with Reflections.
258
00:11:57,228 --> 00:12:00,728
I saw the picture of the steak
in the elevator,
and it looks delicious.
259
00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,528
But, hey,
let's not race down,
260
00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:06,394
because I'm gonna make you
a tiny liqueur
out of our mini bar.
261
00:12:06,461 --> 00:12:08,661
Wait, wait, wait.
You said that the mini bar
was off-limits.
262
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,461
You called it
"Satan's cooler of rip-offs".
263
00:12:11,528 --> 00:12:14,061
Well, I've changed my policy.
264
00:12:14,127 --> 00:12:17,862
Just relax,
and I want you to pretend
that I'm a tiny Tom Cruise
265
00:12:17,928 --> 00:12:19,495
who's gonna make you
a tiny drink
266
00:12:19,561 --> 00:12:22,394
in the tiny version
of the movie Cocktail.
267
00:12:35,027 --> 00:12:38,194
Hello. We would like
a nice little cozy table
for two.
268
00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:40,561
Sure. Follow me.
269
00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:42,761
Darlin', I'm gonna visit
the little boy's room.
270
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:45,561
The rent's come due
on those mini vodkas.
271
00:12:50,127 --> 00:12:51,528
Here you go.
272
00:12:52,228 --> 00:12:53,561
Thank you.
273
00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:56,994
Steph?
274
00:12:57,895 --> 00:12:59,495
Oh, hey.
275
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,027
Where's Jeff?
276
00:13:01,094 --> 00:13:03,461
Oh, he didn't really want to
come down for dinner
277
00:13:03,528 --> 00:13:07,495
so I'm just havin' a drink,
eatin' some pretzel nubs.
278
00:13:07,561 --> 00:13:10,994
A group of
Japanese businessmen
just offered me $500
279
00:13:11,061 --> 00:13:13,261
to do some pretty dark stuff.
280
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,027
Anyway...
281
00:13:17,094 --> 00:13:19,228
Joy, I want to tell you
282
00:13:19,294 --> 00:13:23,027
I am really, really sorry
about that dream
I had about Eddie.
283
00:13:24,161 --> 00:13:25,994
What dream?
284
00:13:26,061 --> 00:13:29,261
Eddie didn't tell you
I had a sex dream about him?
285
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,428
No.
286
00:13:32,161 --> 00:13:33,461
(GASPS)
287
00:13:33,528 --> 00:13:35,828
I guess I assumed
he'd tell you.
288
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:37,962
Awkward.
289
00:13:38,428 --> 00:13:39,495
Hmm.
290
00:13:40,628 --> 00:13:42,761
Wow. That explains a lot.
291
00:13:42,828 --> 00:13:46,361
But I want you to know...
I mean,
the dream meant nothing.
292
00:13:46,428 --> 00:13:48,361
It was really, really silly.
293
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,862
I was churning butter...
294
00:13:50,928 --> 00:13:52,628
Okay, you know what?
295
00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:54,862
That's plenty. Thank you.
296
00:13:55,928 --> 00:13:58,127
Oh! I should head back up.
297
00:13:58,194 --> 00:14:01,394
Jeff was crying pretty hard
when I came down here.
298
00:14:11,027 --> 00:14:12,661
(CLEARING THROAT)
299
00:14:14,094 --> 00:14:15,094
What are you doing?
300
00:14:15,161 --> 00:14:16,561
I'm tickling.
301
00:14:17,194 --> 00:14:18,228
Ow!
302
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,394
Pain. Pain.
303
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:26,394
What was that for?
304
00:14:26,461 --> 00:14:28,294
I just ran into Steph.
305
00:14:28,361 --> 00:14:30,595
She told me
about her little dream.
306
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,094
Dream?
307
00:14:32,161 --> 00:14:33,962
Oh, oh. I forgot about that.
308
00:14:34,027 --> 00:14:36,061
She is one kooky kid, huh?
309
00:14:36,127 --> 00:14:38,795
Okay, Eddie,
you did not forget about it.
310
00:14:38,862 --> 00:14:41,361
It's making you act like
a completely different person.
311
00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:43,895
Oh, that's crazy.
How am I acting different?
312
00:14:43,962 --> 00:14:45,428
Well, for starters,
313
00:14:45,495 --> 00:14:48,561
we just drank
$50 worth of hotel liquor
and we had sex
314
00:14:48,628 --> 00:14:50,228
with the TV off.
315
00:14:53,328 --> 00:14:55,428
We've done that.
316
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,862
And look at you,
with the new pants
and the hair product.
317
00:14:59,928 --> 00:15:02,094
You're gorgeous.
318
00:15:02,161 --> 00:15:04,728
What?
I've never looked nice before?
319
00:15:04,795 --> 00:15:06,328
Not really, no.
320
00:15:09,728 --> 00:15:11,361
Okay, so what I'm hearing
321
00:15:11,428 --> 00:15:14,461
is we had a drink,
we made love,
and I look fantastic.
322
00:15:14,528 --> 00:15:16,228
Exactly what is the problem?
323
00:15:16,294 --> 00:15:19,094
The problem is
it wasn't because of me,
324
00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:20,695
it's because of her.
325
00:15:20,761 --> 00:15:23,595
I had to drag you up here
kicking and screaming,
326
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:26,294
and Steph has one stupid
little dream about you
327
00:15:26,361 --> 00:15:29,461
and suddenly
you're Don Juan de Poconos.
328
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,461
Okay, well, another woman
being attracted to me
329
00:15:39,528 --> 00:15:40,928
made me feel good
about myself.
330
00:15:40,994 --> 00:15:43,628
I mean, it's not a crime.
You know I love you.
331
00:15:43,695 --> 00:15:45,595
Yeah,
but I'm attracted to you.
332
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:47,294
I want to make you feel
that way.
333
00:15:47,361 --> 00:15:48,761
Well, you do.
334
00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:51,862
But after 20 years
it's nice to get
a second opinion.
335
00:15:55,928 --> 00:15:58,561
A second opinion?
You mean like a doctor?
336
00:15:58,628 --> 00:16:00,361
Yes, like a doctor.
337
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:05,962
And the good news
is you and Steph
came to the same diagnosis.
338
00:16:06,027 --> 00:16:08,027
I got a bad case of sexy.
339
00:16:11,528 --> 00:16:13,228
You know what?
I'm going back to the room.
340
00:16:13,294 --> 00:16:15,094
No, whoa, whoa, wait.
But I didn't do
anything wrong here.
341
00:16:15,161 --> 00:16:18,127
I'm just trying to have
a nice, romantic weekend.
342
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,194
Now, if you want to ruin it
343
00:16:20,261 --> 00:16:23,261
'cause you can't deal
with the fact that
another woman digs me...
344
00:16:26,061 --> 00:16:27,828
Please.
(STAMMERING) What? What?
345
00:16:27,895 --> 00:16:31,294
It's not possible
that someone else
finds me attractive?
346
00:16:31,361 --> 00:16:34,194
Are you that out of touch?
347
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:37,461
You don't see
what is going on around us?
348
00:16:38,461 --> 00:16:40,194
Women want me, Joy.
349
00:16:41,661 --> 00:16:43,862
They conjure me in the night.
350
00:16:44,828 --> 00:16:46,695
I am the dream weaver.
351
00:16:51,461 --> 00:16:52,895
See?
352
00:16:52,962 --> 00:16:55,428
Isn't this better
than sulking up in the room?
353
00:16:55,495 --> 00:16:57,695
Hey, tomorrow I thought
maybe we could
walk into town
354
00:16:57,761 --> 00:16:59,795
and check out
that fudge factory.
355
00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:01,361
I don't know, Steph.
356
00:17:01,428 --> 00:17:04,561
I'm still really freaked out
about your dream about Eddie.
357
00:17:04,628 --> 00:17:08,761
I think maybe
it's best if I checked out
H. Fudge and Company alone.
358
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,094
(SIGHING)
359
00:17:12,261 --> 00:17:15,261
Is there anything I can do
to convince you
to let this go?
360
00:17:15,328 --> 00:17:16,728
I just don't get it.
361
00:17:16,795 --> 00:17:18,294
I mean, we've only been
married a few months
362
00:17:18,361 --> 00:17:19,695
and you're already dreaming
about other guys?
363
00:17:19,761 --> 00:17:22,228
What is that?
Am I doing somethin' wrong?
364
00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:23,628
Obviously.
365
00:17:26,161 --> 00:17:28,027
You're not doing
anything wrong.
366
00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:31,628
It was one stupid dream.
It meant nothing.
367
00:17:31,695 --> 00:17:34,495
I'm not in the least bit
attracted to him.
368
00:17:34,561 --> 00:17:37,294
He's just our weird, old,
hairy neighbor.
369
00:17:38,728 --> 00:17:40,461
So you're really not
attracted to him?
370
00:17:40,528 --> 00:17:41,795
No!
371
00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:46,895
I am so, so, so, so, so
not attracted to him.
372
00:17:47,628 --> 00:17:49,728
He reminds me of Chewbacca.
373
00:17:53,094 --> 00:17:55,061
He does kinda look like
Chewbacca.
374
00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:56,328
I know!
375
00:17:57,261 --> 00:17:59,361
Kinda sounds like him, too.
376
00:17:59,428 --> 00:18:01,194
(BRAYING)
377
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:02,495
He does!
378
00:18:05,161 --> 00:18:08,628
Don't even get me started
on his personality.
379
00:18:08,695 --> 00:18:10,695
You're okay. You're okay.
380
00:18:11,795 --> 00:18:14,027
Honey, please believe me.
381
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:16,595
I mean,
the dream meant nothing.
382
00:18:16,661 --> 00:18:19,761
I just love you
and just want to be with you.
383
00:18:20,828 --> 00:18:23,161
I just want to be with you.
384
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:26,495
Look, I don't want you to
ever be with anyone else.
385
00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:29,094
So, we good?
386
00:18:29,161 --> 00:18:30,795
Yeah, we're good.
387
00:18:33,361 --> 00:18:35,328
For your information,
388
00:18:35,394 --> 00:18:37,194
Chewbacca was a hero.
389
00:18:47,962 --> 00:18:49,294
I'm sorry.
390
00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:51,328
What?
391
00:18:51,394 --> 00:18:53,094
You were right.
392
00:18:53,161 --> 00:18:55,628
I heard
Steph and Jeff talking,
393
00:18:55,695 --> 00:18:57,862
and the dream meant nothing.
394
00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,962
She thinks I'm disgusting.
395
00:19:00,628 --> 00:19:02,094
She called me
396
00:19:02,795 --> 00:19:04,127
Chewbacca.
397
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,928
You are not disgusting.
398
00:19:10,728 --> 00:19:11,895
I feel so stupid.
399
00:19:11,962 --> 00:19:14,661
I was walking around
like I was
400
00:19:15,661 --> 00:19:17,895
a hot piece of man-meat.
401
00:19:17,962 --> 00:19:19,761
I'm sorry
I ruined this whole thing.
402
00:19:19,828 --> 00:19:22,127
No. I'm sorry, too.
403
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:25,127
I was thinking
that I overreacted.
404
00:19:25,194 --> 00:19:29,094
I mean,
so what if Steph's dream
made you feel good?
405
00:19:29,895 --> 00:19:31,328
You know, it's like
406
00:19:31,394 --> 00:19:32,962
when I want you to
do that voice
407
00:19:33,027 --> 00:19:34,161
during sex...
Oh.
408
00:19:34,228 --> 00:19:37,061
...that sounds like
the pizza delivery guy?
409
00:19:42,027 --> 00:19:44,228
The voice I do
is the pizza guy?
410
00:19:44,294 --> 00:19:45,595
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Mario.
411
00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:47,461
You didn't know that?
No.
412
00:19:47,528 --> 00:19:50,261
I just thought
I was doing Italian Eddie.
413
00:19:52,928 --> 00:19:55,127
Let's just...
Let's get off this.
414
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,595
Okay? The point is
I don't care
what Steph thinks.
415
00:19:58,661 --> 00:20:00,962
You are
a hot piece of man-meat.
416
00:20:01,928 --> 00:20:03,528
Is Mario hotter?
417
00:20:05,194 --> 00:20:06,228
He's different.
418
00:20:06,294 --> 00:20:08,127
Different, how?
Hotter.
419
00:20:10,361 --> 00:20:11,895
But I love you.
420
00:20:13,161 --> 00:20:14,761
I love you, too.
421
00:20:18,962 --> 00:20:22,161
You don't think
I look like Chewbacca, do you?
422
00:20:22,228 --> 00:20:24,294
Which one is Chewbacca again?
423
00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:27,461
Well, he's the really tall
and hairy creature
424
00:20:27,528 --> 00:20:28,595
who kinda sounds like...
425
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,094
(ROARING)
426
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,561
No.
427
00:20:44,928 --> 00:20:46,194
(DOORBELL RINGING)
428
00:20:46,261 --> 00:20:47,994
EDDIE: I'll get it!
429
00:20:48,528 --> 00:20:49,795
I got it.
430
00:20:50,661 --> 00:20:52,328
I'll get it.
Jeez.
431
00:20:53,228 --> 00:20:54,994
Hey. How you doin'?
432
00:20:55,061 --> 00:20:56,561
It's $12.50.
433
00:20:56,628 --> 00:20:58,127
Are you Mario?
434
00:20:58,795 --> 00:20:59,828
Yeah.
435
00:20:59,895 --> 00:21:01,962
Is this your little boyfriend
Mario?
436
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:04,528
Uh, that's $12.50.
437
00:21:04,595 --> 00:21:05,595
Why don't you spin around
438
00:21:05,661 --> 00:21:08,695
and show me what you got
goin' on back there?
439
00:21:08,761 --> 00:21:10,294
I got a couple more
deliveries...
440
00:21:10,361 --> 00:21:12,294
Spin around
441
00:21:12,361 --> 00:21:14,495
and I'll pay you your money.
442
00:21:29,895 --> 00:21:30,994
I don't know.
443
00:21:31,061 --> 00:21:33,094
I think you can do better.
444
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:35,928
(JINGLE PLAYING)
31540
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