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www.tvsubtitles.net
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00:00:01,674 --> 00:00:02,641
* All right!
3
00:00:02,708 --> 00:00:03,741
* Hey!
4
00:00:03,808 --> 00:00:05,975
* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
5
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:43,508
JOY: Eddie!
6
00:00:50,407 --> 00:00:52,574
That's it.
I can't take it anymore.
7
00:00:52,641 --> 00:00:54,241
Hey, look,
don't give me that crap.
8
00:00:54,307 --> 00:00:56,407
You think
it's easy for me?
9
00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:59,841
All right, catch me up.
What are we fighting about?
10
00:00:59,908 --> 00:01:03,374
I just smashed my toe
on that stupid
wood pile of yours.
11
00:01:03,441 --> 00:01:05,374
Well, you got big feet
like your father.
12
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:07,441
Take it up with him.
13
00:01:07,508 --> 00:01:09,808
Eddie, let me bottom-line
this for you.
14
00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:11,608
The wood, it's gone!
15
00:01:11,674 --> 00:01:13,574
Are you crazy?
I need that wood.
16
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,708
If something wood-related
goes wrong around here,
17
00:01:15,774 --> 00:01:19,708
I need a wide variety
of lumber at the ready.
18
00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:22,641
How about if you ever actually
need a piece of wood,
19
00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,941
you just go out and buy it?
20
00:01:25,007 --> 00:01:29,608
Do you have any idea
how long it takes
to buy a piece of wood?
21
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:32,808
No, Eddie. How long...
Three hours, okay?
22
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:36,307
That includes drive time,
parking, and wood selection.
23
00:01:36,374 --> 00:01:39,875
And then you have to
add another hour to go by
the pet emporium next door.
24
00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:42,007
Why do you need to do that?
25
00:01:42,074 --> 00:01:44,474
I defy you to walk by
that puppy tank
26
00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:47,007
and not want to dive in
head first.
27
00:01:48,474 --> 00:01:50,474
Why are we even
debating this?
28
00:01:50,541 --> 00:01:52,374
You have been piling up wood
in the garage
for the past 20 years,
29
00:01:52,441 --> 00:01:54,207
and you have done nothing
with it.
30
00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:56,808
Let's face it,
you're not a wood guy.
31
00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:02,574
How dare you?
32
00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:06,541
You know that as a boy
I built that cabin
with my father.
33
00:02:06,608 --> 00:02:08,741
Oh, great. We're gonna
hear about the cabin again.
34
00:02:08,808 --> 00:02:12,641
Oh, I'm sorry to bore you
with the defining moment
of my childhood,
35
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:16,007
but I built that wood cabin
with my father
36
00:02:16,074 --> 00:02:17,908
with our bare hands.
37
00:02:17,975 --> 00:02:21,574
And if my Uncle Gus hadn't
played it fast and loose
with the space heater,
38
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,508
we'd be there right now.
39
00:02:23,574 --> 00:02:26,574
Okay, so besides
the famous cabin,
40
00:02:26,641 --> 00:02:28,474
you've done nothing, huh?
41
00:02:28,541 --> 00:02:30,841
How many projects
were you gonna start
over the years?
42
00:02:30,908 --> 00:02:33,474
The pantry shelf,
the shoe rack,
43
00:02:33,541 --> 00:02:36,007
the new screen door
for the back.
44
00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:38,374
I did measure for that.
45
00:02:38,441 --> 00:02:40,374
That's gonna be tricky.
46
00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:43,307
Eddie, build something
with your wood,
build anything.
47
00:02:43,374 --> 00:02:44,508
Oh, I'll build something.
48
00:02:44,574 --> 00:02:46,774
Not in the next 20 years.
Tomorrow.
49
00:02:46,841 --> 00:02:47,941
I'm gonna be at work all day.
50
00:02:48,007 --> 00:02:49,908
Build something
by the time I get home,
51
00:02:49,975 --> 00:02:52,875
or I'm having it hauled off
on Monday.
52
00:02:52,941 --> 00:02:54,441
Now, that, my friend,
53
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,774
sounds like a wood ultimatum.
54
00:02:57,741 --> 00:03:00,774
Oh, a wood ultimatum.
55
00:03:00,841 --> 00:03:02,341
I like it.
56
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:05,107
That's the first
creative thing you've ever
done with wood.
57
00:03:06,074 --> 00:03:07,941
* Hey, hey, hey!
58
00:03:08,541 --> 00:03:10,007
* Ow!
59
00:03:10,074 --> 00:03:11,241
* Oh, oh, yeah!
60
00:03:11,307 --> 00:03:12,808
Okay, I'm going.
61
00:03:21,207 --> 00:03:22,274
Wow.
62
00:03:22,908 --> 00:03:24,508
Yeah, it's real.
63
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,774
A whole lot of sexy going on.
64
00:03:30,241 --> 00:03:32,508
You're wearing my shorts.
Nice.
65
00:03:41,508 --> 00:03:43,341
That's good.
66
00:03:43,407 --> 00:03:45,140
Enjoy yourself.
But I assure you,
67
00:03:45,207 --> 00:03:47,908
when you return
to see what I have built,
68
00:03:47,975 --> 00:03:49,608
your laughter
will be replaced
69
00:03:49,674 --> 00:03:52,174
by girlish squeals
of delight.
70
00:03:53,541 --> 00:03:54,875
I doubt that.
71
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,441
What are you building,
anyway?
72
00:03:57,508 --> 00:03:59,107
Well, I'll give you one hint.
73
00:03:59,174 --> 00:04:03,674
It may or it may not
rhyme with jafuzzi.
74
00:04:08,007 --> 00:04:10,741
All right, drive safe.
Hands at 10:00 and 2:00.
75
00:04:14,841 --> 00:04:18,007
You know, I actually
don't have to hit the road
quite yet.
76
00:04:18,074 --> 00:04:21,908
I might have a few minutes
to watch a master craftsman
at work.
77
00:04:21,975 --> 00:04:23,508
Oh. Fine by me.
78
00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:25,541
(WHIRRING)
79
00:04:41,307 --> 00:04:43,508
Timber!
80
00:04:47,741 --> 00:04:48,941
Look at that.
81
00:04:49,007 --> 00:04:51,441
You turned one piece of crap
into two.
82
00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:56,941
I'm gonna go.
83
00:04:57,007 --> 00:05:00,774
Oh, hey, since this
might be the last time
I see you with thumbs,
84
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:02,441
give me one of these.
85
00:05:06,908 --> 00:05:08,875
Don't worry about me.
86
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:10,307
I know what I'm doing.
87
00:05:10,374 --> 00:05:12,074
I'm in my element.
88
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:14,875
Like a duck on a pond.
89
00:05:14,941 --> 00:05:17,174
Yeah, for me
there's nothing like the feel
90
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:20,040
of soft, buttery wood.
91
00:05:20,107 --> 00:05:21,608
(LAUGHS)
92
00:05:23,174 --> 00:05:25,474
That's gonna need
a special Band-Aid.
93
00:05:26,341 --> 00:05:28,040
Oh, yeah!
94
00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:32,641
(SAW WHIRRING)
95
00:05:33,407 --> 00:05:35,007
(SAW JAMMING)
96
00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:46,407
Hey, neighbor.
97
00:05:47,341 --> 00:05:48,808
What do you want,
Woodcock?
98
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:51,608
Nothing.
Just thought I'd pop over,
do my neighbor thing.
99
00:05:51,674 --> 00:05:53,107
(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
100
00:05:53,174 --> 00:05:55,374
I didn't know you were
a Tejano guy.
101
00:05:55,441 --> 00:05:57,975
Uh, this painting crew
left this radio behind
102
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,875
with the dial
painted stuck.
103
00:06:01,441 --> 00:06:03,741
I don't speak the language,
but I'm 98% sure
104
00:06:03,808 --> 00:06:06,241
that that song
is about infidelity.
105
00:06:10,908 --> 00:06:12,341
Well, what you building?
106
00:06:12,407 --> 00:06:14,107
I don't know what the hell
I'm building, okay?
107
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,374
What's with
all the questions?
108
00:06:17,107 --> 00:06:18,774
Who sent you here?
109
00:06:21,441 --> 00:06:23,841
Nobody. Jeez, I'm sorry.
110
00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:27,007
I heard the music.
I thought you were grilling.
111
00:06:28,908 --> 00:06:30,374
I'm gonna go.
112
00:06:32,341 --> 00:06:34,741
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on a second, Woodcock.
113
00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:37,808
Listen, you're a young
strapping fellow
from Minnesota.
114
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,274
I bet that
you've raised a barn
115
00:06:39,341 --> 00:06:42,274
or built a butter churn
or something.
116
00:06:42,341 --> 00:06:45,941
I think you're confusing
people from Minnesota
with the Amish.
117
00:06:46,007 --> 00:06:48,841
All right, look, Joy gave me
a wood ultimatum,
118
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,341
and if I don't build
something by today,
119
00:06:50,407 --> 00:06:52,274
all my wood goes.
120
00:06:52,341 --> 00:06:53,641
And I gotta
be honest with you.
121
00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:55,274
I don't know
what the hell I'm doing.
122
00:06:55,341 --> 00:06:56,975
What do you mean?
123
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,241
I thought you build
that cabin with your dad
with your bare hands.
124
00:06:59,307 --> 00:07:01,708
Well, I did, I did.
125
00:07:01,774 --> 00:07:03,140
But the more
I think about it,
126
00:07:03,207 --> 00:07:04,474
the only thing
my dad let me do
127
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:07,574
was hold his beer
and make sure
that no bees got in it.
128
00:07:10,107 --> 00:07:12,708
All right, well, this may be
a stupid question,
129
00:07:12,774 --> 00:07:15,508
but if you can't build
anything and Joy wants
all the wood gone,
130
00:07:15,574 --> 00:07:17,274
why don't you
just get rid of it?
131
00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:20,841
You're correct. That is
a stupid question.
132
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,140
Because if I
get rid of my wood,
133
00:07:22,207 --> 00:07:25,474
that means
she had been right
for 20 years,
134
00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:27,541
and that can't be.
135
00:07:29,674 --> 00:07:31,107
I'm sorry.
I wish I could help you,
136
00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:33,374
but I don't know any more
about wood than you.
137
00:07:33,441 --> 00:07:34,975
Yeah, but look,
we're two smart guys.
138
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,307
I'm sure if we put
our heads together,
139
00:07:36,374 --> 00:07:38,508
we can build
something great.
140
00:07:38,574 --> 00:07:41,307
Really?
Yes. You're a man.
141
00:07:41,374 --> 00:07:43,307
And when one man
asks another man
142
00:07:43,374 --> 00:07:45,541
to assist him in a home
improvement project,
143
00:07:45,608 --> 00:07:48,407
there can only be
one answer,
"Hell, yes!"
144
00:07:48,474 --> 00:07:50,274
Now sock up,
pick up a tool,
145
00:07:50,341 --> 00:07:51,808
and start banging on stuff.
All right.
146
00:07:51,875 --> 00:07:54,174
You know what? You're right.
You're right. I'm in. I'm in.
147
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,207
That's what
we're talking about.
Yeah, I'm talking about that.
148
00:07:56,274 --> 00:07:57,841
Do you feel good?
Yeah, I feel good, you know.
149
00:07:57,908 --> 00:07:59,941
Can we do this?
We can do it.
150
00:08:00,007 --> 00:08:02,574
Because we're men.
Are we men?
We are men!
151
00:08:02,641 --> 00:08:04,541
You're damn right
we're men.
Yeah, we are!
152
00:08:04,608 --> 00:08:06,241
Now let's take off
our shirts!
153
00:08:06,307 --> 00:08:08,841
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
154
00:08:16,241 --> 00:08:18,474
Okay, shirts back on.
155
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,140
Shirts back on!
156
00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:33,508
That was really
uncomfortable.
157
00:08:33,574 --> 00:08:35,641
Yeah. That one's on me.
158
00:08:40,508 --> 00:08:41,708
Easy.
159
00:08:43,374 --> 00:08:46,474
Easy! I'm seeing nail.
160
00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:47,541
You missed the shelf.
161
00:08:47,608 --> 00:08:49,307
Well, hold it straight!
162
00:08:49,374 --> 00:08:50,674
I am
holding it straight.
163
00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:53,107
You're nailing cock-eyed.
164
00:08:53,174 --> 00:08:54,374
Do you want
to hammer again, huh?
165
00:08:54,441 --> 00:08:57,541
You know I can't.
My thumbs are
gigantic targets.
166
00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:02,574
Okay.
Hold it.
You split the wood.
167
00:09:02,641 --> 00:09:05,474
Well, that was
our last long nail.
168
00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:08,608
Okay, I'll just put
some wood putty on it.
169
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:09,908
How we doing time-wise?
170
00:09:09,975 --> 00:09:11,174
It's 6:00.
171
00:09:11,241 --> 00:09:13,641
Oh, God. Okay, Joy's gonna
be home in one hour.
172
00:09:13,708 --> 00:09:14,975
Let's just get her
on her feet
173
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,508
and we'll start painting.
174
00:09:16,574 --> 00:09:18,508
All right.
All right, lift it up.
175
00:09:18,574 --> 00:09:19,674
Okay.
176
00:09:20,407 --> 00:09:21,641
Easy.
177
00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:24,908
Okay.
178
00:09:26,407 --> 00:09:28,741
All right,
put the level on it.
179
00:09:28,808 --> 00:09:31,875
You don't need the level.
It's...
Just get the level.
180
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:40,808
Where's the bubble?
181
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:42,207
There's no bubble.
182
00:09:42,274 --> 00:09:44,140
Eddie, there's no bubble
because it's not level.
183
00:09:44,207 --> 00:09:48,174
Okay, look. Do me a favor.
Lose the attitude
and help me.
184
00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:51,407
Okay? We just have
to tweak it a little.
185
00:09:51,474 --> 00:09:55,107
Just... Okay, come this way.
Easy. Okay, careful.
186
00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:57,708
All right. I'm feeling
a little play in it.
She's fighting me.
187
00:09:57,774 --> 00:09:59,040
She's fighting me.
Foot it.
188
00:09:59,107 --> 00:10:00,508
Put your foot on it.
All right, I'm doing it.
189
00:10:00,574 --> 00:10:03,774
Foot it! Foot it!
I got it.
I'm footing it.
190
00:10:03,841 --> 00:10:06,074
There's the bubble.
191
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,407
Come on.
Eddie, I'm starting to hear...
192
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,574
Come on, little buddy.
I'm hearing some cracking.
193
00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:11,674
I'll slap some putty on it.
194
00:10:17,674 --> 00:10:19,140
Okay. Well, you know what?
195
00:10:19,207 --> 00:10:22,174
Here. Let's just...
Let's just lay it down,
okay?
196
00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:24,908
We'll lay it down,
and...
197
00:10:24,975 --> 00:10:29,274
Yeah, it'll be
a nice sandbox
for children.
198
00:10:29,341 --> 00:10:31,241
It's fun.
199
00:10:31,307 --> 00:10:32,941
Seems kind of dangerous
with all those nails
sticking out.
200
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,941
Okay, then it'll be a planter.
201
00:10:35,007 --> 00:10:36,541
How about that, huh?
We'll put some dirt in it
202
00:10:36,608 --> 00:10:37,975
and some
beautiful plants
203
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,708
and it'll be
a delightful planter.
204
00:10:39,774 --> 00:10:41,441
I'm gonna grow tomatoes.
205
00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:48,007
Okay. It's okay. It's okay.
206
00:10:48,074 --> 00:10:49,274
It's a... It's a...
207
00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:51,374
Pile of wood again, Eddie.
208
00:10:54,508 --> 00:10:56,207
I'll putty it.
209
00:10:56,274 --> 00:10:58,007
Hey, you two.
210
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,941
I brought some lemonade.
211
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,941
So how's it going
over here?
212
00:11:02,007 --> 00:11:04,508
My big carpenter man
213
00:11:04,574 --> 00:11:05,941
working with wood.
214
00:11:06,007 --> 00:11:07,941
Yeah, put him on
a roll of Brawny towels.
215
00:11:08,007 --> 00:11:09,541
He's a dead ringer.
216
00:11:09,608 --> 00:11:11,474
What's the matter, Eddie,
not having fun?
217
00:11:11,541 --> 00:11:13,875
No, next-door girl,
I am not.
218
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,741
Well, that's 'cause
you haven't started yet.
219
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:17,074
It's still just a big pile.
220
00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:18,508
Honey, honey.
Careful, careful.
221
00:11:18,574 --> 00:11:20,875
Well, let me know
if I can help.
222
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:23,174
I love woodworking.
You do?
223
00:11:23,241 --> 00:11:25,107
Oh, yeah. I mean, I used to.
224
00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:27,841
Every summer I did
woodshop at Camp Honeybell.
225
00:11:27,908 --> 00:11:30,274
* Ring the bell, bell, bell
226
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:32,641
* We are Camp Honeybell,
we are bus... *
227
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,641
Okay, that's lovely.
228
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:36,040
That's lovely, darling.
229
00:11:36,107 --> 00:11:38,474
Uh, look...
230
00:11:38,541 --> 00:11:41,174
Tell me everything
you know about wood.
231
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,808
Hello, Eddie.
232
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,908
Madam.
233
00:11:51,975 --> 00:11:53,241
From the looks of it
out there,
234
00:11:53,307 --> 00:11:56,040
there actually seems
to have been
some woodworking today.
235
00:11:56,107 --> 00:11:57,407
That's right.
236
00:11:57,474 --> 00:12:00,608
Tool were used,
boards were cut,
237
00:12:00,674 --> 00:12:04,174
the line between man
and wood was blurred.
238
00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:09,274
I promised you
a project made of wood,
239
00:12:09,341 --> 00:12:11,241
and you doubted me.
240
00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:13,808
But doubt me no more.
241
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:15,674
Boom! Make some room!
242
00:12:26,274 --> 00:12:27,741
What is that?
243
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,407
It's a pig.
244
00:12:32,474 --> 00:12:34,975
I can see that it's a pig.
245
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,474
What exactly
does one do with this?
246
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:43,975
Well, it's a...
247
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,074
There's obviously
the cutting board aspect
of the pig.
248
00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:51,474
Uh, it could be
a fancy cheese tray
249
00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:54,074
or a decorative
knickknack,
250
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:57,674
or placed in the hands
of a creative child,
251
00:12:58,808 --> 00:13:00,508
a passport to adventure.
252
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:07,574
Perhaps you could start
assembling a cheese tray
253
00:13:07,641 --> 00:13:09,975
while you formulate
your apology.
254
00:13:12,641 --> 00:13:14,641
Let me just
get this straight.
255
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:16,074
For the past 20 years,
256
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:18,241
you have been
pulling over on highways,
257
00:13:18,307 --> 00:13:21,875
you have been sneaking
into our neighbors'
garbage cans,
258
00:13:21,941 --> 00:13:25,040
you have been trespassing
on construction sites
259
00:13:25,107 --> 00:13:26,574
all to gather up wood,
260
00:13:26,641 --> 00:13:28,841
which has been piling up
in our home,
261
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:32,207
endangering
the well-being
of our family,
262
00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:33,641
all so that one day
263
00:13:33,708 --> 00:13:35,808
you could build a pig.
264
00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:40,608
It makes me smile.
265
00:13:43,307 --> 00:13:46,574
Eddie, we're getting rid
of the wood.
266
00:13:47,307 --> 00:13:48,674
(JINGLE PLAYING)
267
00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:11,407
Keep it together.
268
00:14:29,674 --> 00:14:31,441
Who the hell are you?
269
00:14:31,508 --> 00:14:33,608
Hi. I'm Greg.
270
00:14:33,674 --> 00:14:37,341
Your wife hired me
to fix this door, and do
some stuff around the house.
271
00:14:43,741 --> 00:14:45,641
That's good.
272
00:14:45,708 --> 00:14:48,007
Doesn't bother me.
273
00:14:48,074 --> 00:14:50,708
I'm comfortable
with who I am as a man.
274
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:55,241
I was 6'8"
by the 7th grade.
275
00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:58,040
I could ride
roller coasters
when I was 3.
276
00:14:59,841 --> 00:15:01,241
I'm all man.
277
00:15:02,774 --> 00:15:04,808
100% hombre!
278
00:15:06,674 --> 00:15:07,708
Okay.
279
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,241
What do you got there,
a chuckless drill?
280
00:15:23,307 --> 00:15:26,941
What?
Uh, cordless?
281
00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,908
Three-quarter bit?
Yeah, what's your torque
on that, 550?
282
00:15:29,975 --> 00:15:32,574
750? Upside down capable?
283
00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:38,241
You're saying words,
but they don't mean anything.
284
00:15:45,608 --> 00:15:46,975
Oh, really?
285
00:15:48,174 --> 00:15:49,975
Well, check this out.
286
00:15:53,741 --> 00:15:56,441
What do you think
of this craftsmanship, huh?
287
00:15:56,508 --> 00:15:58,674
What is that?
288
00:15:58,741 --> 00:16:00,908
It's a passport
to adventure.
289
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:06,608
Hey, would you hand me
that dovetail jig?
290
00:16:07,774 --> 00:16:09,007
Um...
291
00:16:18,241 --> 00:16:20,941
It's right there
next to the biscuit joiner.
292
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,341
I don't know
what that is either, okay?
293
00:16:25,407 --> 00:16:27,241
I don't know
what any of this is.
294
00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:29,207
They took my wood pile!
295
00:16:30,241 --> 00:16:32,007
Are you happy, Greg?
296
00:16:40,941 --> 00:16:43,407
Hey, remind me
to get some more sugar.
297
00:16:43,474 --> 00:16:46,007
Why don't you just
get Greg to get it?
298
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,808
Or maybe he can
chop down some sugarcane
299
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,541
and squeeze it out
with his dovetail jig.
300
00:16:54,975 --> 00:16:57,074
Eddie, will you stop it?
301
00:16:57,140 --> 00:16:59,341
I hired a guy
to fix a few things.
302
00:16:59,407 --> 00:17:01,107
It's no reflection on you.
303
00:17:01,174 --> 00:17:04,574
I know. Couldn't have
fixed them anyway.
304
00:17:04,641 --> 00:17:06,241
Come on, you haven't
been yourself all week.
305
00:17:06,307 --> 00:17:09,074
Ever since we got rid
of that wood pile.
306
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:10,741
I don't know what you mean.
307
00:17:10,808 --> 00:17:12,274
What do you
want me to say?
308
00:17:12,341 --> 00:17:15,074
I love the freaking pig.
309
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:18,808
He's a beautiful,
well-crafted
piece of wood.
310
00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:21,241
You're right.
He is all those things,
311
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:24,341
and I didn't even make him.
The girl next door did.
312
00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:26,808
What?
That's right.
313
00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:30,207
So get him out of here
and bring it back
to the girl.
314
00:17:30,274 --> 00:17:33,140
I'm no longer deluded
about who I am.
315
00:17:33,207 --> 00:17:35,875
I'm just an underpaid
high school teacher
316
00:17:35,941 --> 00:17:40,074
who will eventually die
and be buried in a coffin
317
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,674
I did not make.
318
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,441
(DOORBELL RINGING)
319
00:17:49,941 --> 00:17:51,541
Hey, Joy.
320
00:17:51,608 --> 00:17:54,841
Get your evil pig
out of my house.
321
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,941
Why would I want
this delightful cutting board
322
00:17:57,007 --> 00:17:59,241
that your husband
made for you?
323
00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:03,808
It's driving Eddie insane,
and he told me you made it.
324
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,007
Oh. He said
to keep that secret.
325
00:18:06,074 --> 00:18:07,441
He scared me pretty good,
326
00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:10,241
and he's, like,
the biggest person
I've ever seen.
327
00:18:12,074 --> 00:18:13,641
Anyway, you should take it.
328
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:17,007
Okay.
I'll just stick the little guy
in here then.
329
00:18:17,074 --> 00:18:18,608
We have a little
storage issue
330
00:18:18,674 --> 00:18:21,007
since the rest
of our stuff came.
331
00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:25,574
So you really love
to kayak, huh?
332
00:18:25,641 --> 00:18:27,241
It's Jeff's. It's his dream
333
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:30,641
to kayak down
every Class 4 rapid
in North America.
334
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:33,140
Wow. How many
has he done so far?
335
00:18:33,207 --> 00:18:34,975
None.
336
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,574
In fact, since I've known him,
I don't think he's been in it.
337
00:18:37,641 --> 00:18:39,674
Well, except the one time
I got up in the middle
of the night
338
00:18:39,741 --> 00:18:42,608
to grab a glass of water
and he was sitting in it nude.
339
00:18:42,674 --> 00:18:44,541
Even though
we saw each other,
340
00:18:44,608 --> 00:18:46,674
we never acknowledged it.
341
00:18:50,374 --> 00:18:52,007
This may be
none of my business,
342
00:18:52,074 --> 00:18:55,174
but seeing as you
need the room
and he doesn't use it,
343
00:18:55,241 --> 00:18:57,074
why don't you just
make him get rid of it?
344
00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:58,274
I don't know.
345
00:18:58,341 --> 00:18:59,841
I know
Jeff will never kayak,
346
00:18:59,908 --> 00:19:01,574
but he loves that thing.
347
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,274
In his mind,
he's outdoor kayak guy.
348
00:19:04,341 --> 00:19:05,774
You take that away,
it's like ripping away
349
00:19:05,841 --> 00:19:08,074
part of the man
he wants to be.
350
00:19:11,474 --> 00:19:13,407
Well, that ain't right.
351
00:19:25,941 --> 00:19:27,407
What you doing?
352
00:19:27,474 --> 00:19:30,741
Just staring at the stain
where my wood used to be.
353
00:19:32,541 --> 00:19:34,374
You know, if you listen
really closely,
354
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:37,808
you can hear the humming
of a termite infestation.
355
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:39,608
They're all around us.
356
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:47,875
Guess what I found
in Terry and Carla's
trash can.
357
00:19:48,741 --> 00:19:50,040
Now, why would you
give me that?
358
00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:52,140
What is that,
some kind of sick joke?
359
00:19:52,207 --> 00:19:55,074
No. I just realized
how much the wood pile
meant to you,
360
00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:57,207
and I thought you might
want to start it again.
361
00:19:57,274 --> 00:19:58,908
Nah, give it to the girl.
362
00:19:58,975 --> 00:20:00,441
She's the future.
363
00:20:02,207 --> 00:20:04,407
Eddie, listen to me.
364
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:05,808
I saw you
in that tool belt,
365
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:08,774
and I saw a man who knows
how to work with wood.
366
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,708
The problem wasn't you.
The problem was
367
00:20:11,774 --> 00:20:14,407
you didn't have
the proper tools.
368
00:20:22,975 --> 00:20:24,808
Oh, boy.
369
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,207
The guy at the store said
you could cut through
just about anything with this.
370
00:20:27,274 --> 00:20:28,808
Oh, and I will.
371
00:20:29,908 --> 00:20:32,074
Oh, it's...
This is amazing.
372
00:20:32,140 --> 00:20:36,040
You know, I did kind of
feel a little held back
by my equipment.
373
00:20:37,107 --> 00:20:38,374
You were.
374
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,608
You need your wood.
375
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,741
Honestly, Eddie,
I miss the man you were
376
00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:46,908
when you had
your wood pile.
377
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,875
Come here.
378
00:20:50,941 --> 00:20:54,341
I don't know what to say.
Thank you.
379
00:20:59,274 --> 00:21:01,574
Can't wait
to show this to Greg.
380
00:21:09,174 --> 00:21:10,808
(SAW WHIRRING)
381
00:21:23,274 --> 00:21:25,341
That's what
I'm talking about.
382
00:21:28,441 --> 00:21:32,040
Ah, she doesn't
ride it anyway.
27849
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