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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,908 --> 00:00:03,318 Julie, I ever tell you About my cousin janet 2 00:00:03,342 --> 00:00:04,381 Who's away at school? 3 00:00:04,442 --> 00:00:05,572 No. 4 00:00:05,641 --> 00:00:07,351 She just wrote my aunt And my uncle a letter. 5 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:08,374 Mm-hmm. 6 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,551 She said, "Dear mom and pop, 7 00:00:09,575 --> 00:00:11,017 I know I haven't written To you for a week, 8 00:00:11,041 --> 00:00:13,440 But there have been some Extenuating circumstances. 9 00:00:13,509 --> 00:00:15,906 First of all, I had an Accident and I hurt my leg. 10 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,618 It's not serious, The doctor said 11 00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:19,674 I should recover full Use of it in about a year. 12 00:00:19,742 --> 00:00:20,873 Uh-huh. 13 00:00:20,942 --> 00:00:22,051 The reason I didn't Need your support 14 00:00:22,075 --> 00:00:23,707 Was because I've met a boy. 15 00:00:23,776 --> 00:00:25,085 In fact, I met him Over a year ago 16 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,785 And I've neglected To tell you about him. 17 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,440 He's much older than I am And he's not of our religion, 18 00:00:29,509 --> 00:00:31,940 But I think that You'll get to like him. 19 00:00:32,009 --> 00:00:33,341 We are going to get married. 20 00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:35,607 Not that we want To, we just have to. 21 00:00:35,676 --> 00:00:37,107 I'm sure you'll understand. 22 00:00:37,176 --> 00:00:39,474 Jerry should find a job, He's been looking quite hard 23 00:00:39,543 --> 00:00:41,174 For the past year." 24 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,841 Then she signed her name, "Your loving daughter, janet. 25 00:00:43,909 --> 00:00:47,140 P.S. Everything I've written You is absolutely false. 26 00:00:47,209 --> 00:00:50,008 However I did get a d in English and I wanted you to see it 27 00:00:50,076 --> 00:00:52,474 In its proper perspective." 28 00:00:56,177 --> 00:01:02,041 ♪ 29 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:06,908 ♪ welcome back ♪ 30 00:01:06,976 --> 00:01:10,642 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 31 00:01:10,711 --> 00:01:12,809 ♪ welcome back ♪ 32 00:01:12,877 --> 00:01:17,442 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 33 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,842 ♪ well the names Have all changed 34 00:01:19,911 --> 00:01:21,975 Since you hung around ♪ 35 00:01:22,044 --> 00:01:24,142 ♪ but those dreams have remained 36 00:01:24,211 --> 00:01:26,409 And they've turned around ♪ 37 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,475 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 38 00:01:28,544 --> 00:01:30,463 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 39 00:01:30,512 --> 00:01:32,476 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 40 00:01:32,545 --> 00:01:34,709 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 41 00:01:34,778 --> 00:01:36,677 ♪ yeah, we tease him a lot 42 00:01:36,744 --> 00:01:38,942 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 43 00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,242 ♪ welcome back ♪ 44 00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:46,810 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪♪ 45 00:02:03,513 --> 00:02:06,910 Hey, uh, what are you people Doing with all this merchandise? 46 00:02:06,978 --> 00:02:09,411 Gonna open up a pawn shop? 47 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,922 Hey, mr. Kotter, Are you kidding me? 48 00:02:10,945 --> 00:02:15,044 You couldn't find stuff like This in a picasso garage sale. 49 00:02:15,112 --> 00:02:16,555 Hey, man, all this stuff here, 50 00:02:16,579 --> 00:02:19,044 These are projects for Art appreciation class. 51 00:02:19,113 --> 00:02:22,844 Well, I thought it was Be kind to trash week. 52 00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:24,877 Now, mr. Kotter, There's a big difference 53 00:02:24,946 --> 00:02:27,178 Between garbage and art. 54 00:02:27,246 --> 00:02:31,911 The art collector Don't come twice a week. 55 00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:33,490 All right, let's See what you got. 56 00:02:33,514 --> 00:02:36,712 Arnold horshack, come on down. 57 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,956 Thank you, thank You, my friends. 58 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,578 Thank you, don pardo. 59 00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:49,978 Here it is, mr. Kotter, Do you like it? 60 00:02:50,047 --> 00:02:51,046 Do I like it? 61 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,478 Well, this is one Of the best, uh, 62 00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:56,346 One of these I've ever seen. 63 00:02:56,415 --> 00:02:58,313 Then you know what it is? 64 00:02:58,381 --> 00:03:01,179 Of course I know what It is, arnold, I'm a teacher. 65 00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:04,513 Let's see if one of Them knows what it is. 66 00:03:04,582 --> 00:03:05,691 Yeah, I know what it is, 67 00:03:05,715 --> 00:03:06,791 I could check it out From any difference. 68 00:03:06,815 --> 00:03:10,379 Let me check this Out a little slower. 69 00:03:10,448 --> 00:03:13,913 It's a swimming Pool for pygmies. 70 00:03:13,981 --> 00:03:16,846 No, it's not, no, it's not. 71 00:03:16,915 --> 00:03:19,546 It's a hat for a monkey. 72 00:03:19,615 --> 00:03:23,013 Hoo-hoo! 73 00:03:23,082 --> 00:03:24,913 You gotta put a Strap on it though. 74 00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:27,480 Go ahead, mr. Kotter, You tell them what it is, 75 00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:28,979 Go ahead, go ahead. 76 00:03:29,048 --> 00:03:30,180 Well, um. 77 00:03:30,249 --> 00:03:31,280 Go ahead. 78 00:03:31,349 --> 00:03:35,046 - this is... - go ahead. 79 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:39,947 Arnold, it's your project, Why don't you tell 'em? 80 00:03:40,016 --> 00:03:45,647 It's a combination ash Tray and denture cup. 81 00:03:45,716 --> 00:03:48,780 You see, you can put Out your cigarettes 82 00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:53,481 And your teeth at the same time. 83 00:03:53,549 --> 00:03:55,025 All right, you wanna see art? 84 00:03:55,049 --> 00:03:56,125 Okay, I'll show you art. 85 00:03:56,149 --> 00:03:57,748 Check it out, check it out. 86 00:03:57,816 --> 00:03:58,947 Look at this. 87 00:03:59,016 --> 00:04:03,314 All right, this is a Plaster of paris pizza. 88 00:04:03,384 --> 00:04:07,782 All right, the nice screws Are made as anchovies 89 00:04:07,851 --> 00:04:12,048 And the washers, They're pepperonis. 90 00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:13,948 What's that right over there? 91 00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:18,615 Oh, that's a fly that fell In when I was making it. 92 00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:23,483 It looked so good to him, He didn't know the difference. 93 00:04:23,551 --> 00:04:24,782 You want a piece? 94 00:04:24,851 --> 00:04:27,616 No, no, no, I like Sausage pizza. 95 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:30,449 No, I can't make you That, I ran out of bolts. 96 00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:37,516 Okay, mr. Kotter, since you've Dispensed with the amateurs, 97 00:04:37,584 --> 00:04:40,815 It's time to repay with a Visit from the old master, 98 00:04:40,884 --> 00:04:45,916 Better known as vincent Van gogh of the ghetto. 99 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:46,994 Got it right under here. 100 00:04:47,018 --> 00:04:48,350 I made a bust. 101 00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:51,816 Check it out. 102 00:04:51,885 --> 00:04:57,116 This hand symbolizes man Reachin' out to his fellow man. 103 00:04:57,185 --> 00:05:01,650 Wow, frederick. 104 00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:05,316 I think his manicure Has turned on him. 105 00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:08,283 That's what happens When you don't tip. 106 00:05:08,352 --> 00:05:10,217 - nice, huh? - it's terrific, freddie. 107 00:05:10,285 --> 00:05:11,716 Thanks a lot. 108 00:05:11,785 --> 00:05:12,828 Okay, now, today, I want... 109 00:05:12,852 --> 00:05:15,483 Buenos morning, buenos morning. 110 00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:18,317 Epstein, epstein! 111 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,817 Come here. 112 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,683 First of all, you're Five minutes late. 113 00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:24,151 And second of all, where's Your project for art class? 114 00:05:24,219 --> 00:05:26,717 My art project's out the window. 115 00:05:26,787 --> 00:05:27,786 Out the window? 116 00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:32,217 Yeah. 117 00:05:32,286 --> 00:05:33,384 Where? 118 00:05:33,452 --> 00:05:35,218 Right out there. 119 00:05:35,286 --> 00:05:38,751 The wino on the park Bench is your project? 120 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,396 Come on, come on, You gotta look down. 121 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,319 Here, look down. 122 00:05:42,386 --> 00:05:43,396 Oh, that sheet on the wall? 123 00:05:43,419 --> 00:05:44,651 Yeah, yeah. 124 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,757 Every year a student is Picked to paint a "Murial" 125 00:05:46,787 --> 00:05:48,651 For art appreciation week. 126 00:05:48,719 --> 00:05:52,418 And this year you were Picked to paint the "Murial?" 127 00:05:52,487 --> 00:05:54,652 Well, actually, I Was the runner-up. 128 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:55,863 The guy they picked first 129 00:05:55,887 --> 00:06:00,551 Met with a very Unfortunate accident. 130 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:04,086 I guess the art game can Be real rough, you know? 131 00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:05,864 Yeah, I guess so. What did you paint? 132 00:06:05,888 --> 00:06:07,131 Well, look, it's Not just a painting, 133 00:06:07,155 --> 00:06:09,153 See, I mean, it's... 134 00:06:09,221 --> 00:06:13,319 Look, mr. Kotter, Once in a lifetime, 135 00:06:13,388 --> 00:06:15,585 A man knows a moment. 136 00:06:15,654 --> 00:06:19,019 A wonderful moment 137 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,919 When fate takes his hand. 138 00:06:21,988 --> 00:06:25,352 ♪ and this is his moment ♪ 139 00:06:25,421 --> 00:06:29,452 ♪ his once in a lifetime ♪♪ 140 00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:32,452 Hang out, hang out. 141 00:06:32,521 --> 00:06:37,187 May I present to you, Epstein's madonna. 142 00:06:39,755 --> 00:06:40,754 All right. 143 00:06:40,789 --> 00:06:42,465 That's nice, that's really nice. 144 00:06:42,488 --> 00:06:43,719 That's very nice. 145 00:06:43,789 --> 00:06:46,587 That's the first time I've seen an artist 146 00:06:46,655 --> 00:06:49,987 Sign his name up Somebody's nose. 147 00:06:50,055 --> 00:06:52,053 It's a good thing She ain't alive, 148 00:06:52,122 --> 00:06:54,953 One big sneeze and You'd be anonymous. 149 00:06:57,823 --> 00:06:59,165 Hey, you guys ain't Seen nothin' yet, 150 00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:01,220 The rest of her's Around the corner. 151 00:07:01,289 --> 00:07:03,888 Well, why did you paint Her around the corner? 152 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:07,321 It's a heck of a lot easier Than straightening out the wall. 153 00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:21,488 Oh boy. 154 00:07:21,556 --> 00:07:23,721 Kotter, this is an outrage. 155 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:26,721 She's nude. 156 00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:27,790 I'm an artist. 157 00:07:27,824 --> 00:07:30,122 I paint what's inside of me. 158 00:07:30,190 --> 00:07:32,033 The problem's not what You've got on the inside 159 00:07:32,057 --> 00:07:35,488 It's what she's Got on the outside. 160 00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:42,022 Now I know why my Sister has her own room. 161 00:07:45,391 --> 00:07:49,922 Epstein, she's supposed To have clothes on. 162 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:53,122 I ran out of paint. 163 00:07:53,191 --> 00:07:55,033 Now, listen, epstein, Either you put those grapes 164 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,722 Where they do some good, 165 00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:58,890 Or I'll send you to Principal lazarus' office. 166 00:07:59,958 --> 00:08:01,500 Wait a second, wait a second. 167 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,823 Mr. Woodman, that's Not for you to decide. 168 00:08:03,892 --> 00:08:06,290 I mean, this mural is His art class project. 169 00:08:06,358 --> 00:08:07,489 That's wonderful. 170 00:08:07,557 --> 00:08:09,068 And what's he doing For social studies, 171 00:08:09,092 --> 00:08:12,123 Invading poland? 172 00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,390 Take it easy, huh? 173 00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:16,356 Juan, woodman does have a point. 174 00:08:16,425 --> 00:08:19,356 I mean, the lady's nude. 175 00:08:19,425 --> 00:08:20,956 Come on, I know my rights. 176 00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:23,056 This is a schoolyard wall. 177 00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:24,935 A lot of people go By here every day. 178 00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:27,091 Now, if you wanted to Paint something like this, 179 00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:28,601 You could have Done it on a canvas. 180 00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:31,490 Look, you don't Understand. It's art. 181 00:08:31,558 --> 00:08:33,935 Now that's my vision of life And I ain't gonna change it. 182 00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,501 - that's right. - that's right. 183 00:08:35,525 --> 00:08:36,723 He's got it right. 184 00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:40,491 Besides, once I connect The dots, that's that. 185 00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:52,191 Hey, mr. Kotter. 186 00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:54,003 Here are the art books That you wanted us 187 00:08:54,027 --> 00:08:55,103 To pick up in the library. 188 00:08:55,127 --> 00:08:57,025 You know, some of The pictures in here 189 00:08:57,094 --> 00:09:00,624 Are definitely not Suitable for family viewing. 190 00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:03,792 Boy, we got some bad Titles inside them books, boy. 191 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:07,092 Right here we got "Renaissance painters," 192 00:09:07,161 --> 00:09:09,958 We got over here "The great masters." 193 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:11,303 That's a good one, That's bad, boy. 194 00:09:11,327 --> 00:09:12,503 And right over here we have 195 00:09:12,527 --> 00:09:17,859 "Toulouse-lautrec and Other short stories." 196 00:09:17,928 --> 00:09:19,370 I can tell this Book's really old. 197 00:09:19,394 --> 00:09:21,659 Van gogh still Has both his ears. 198 00:09:24,028 --> 00:09:25,926 Hey, mr. Kotter, you know what, 199 00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:29,126 I ain't never been To a library before. 200 00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:30,238 Man, that was really stupid. 201 00:09:30,262 --> 00:09:33,525 Everybody's goin', "Shh!" 202 00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:37,227 What, they're afraid Of wakin' up the books? 203 00:09:43,529 --> 00:09:45,993 Did, uh, did you take Out a book, vinnie? 204 00:09:46,062 --> 00:09:51,094 No, but I'm gonna take out the Librarian this saturday night. 205 00:09:51,162 --> 00:09:53,293 Vinnie, you better Get her back on time, 206 00:09:53,362 --> 00:09:56,560 It's three cents A day if she's late. 207 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,693 I can afford that. 208 00:09:59,762 --> 00:10:02,061 Kotter, there's another one. 209 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,361 Third complaint this Morning about that nude. 210 00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:06,306 Epstein's not gonna Get away with this. 211 00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:09,994 Relax, mr. Woodman, juan's In lazarus' office right now. 212 00:10:10,063 --> 00:10:12,128 Lazarus is gonna decide. 213 00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:16,294 What's all this, more filth? 214 00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:18,794 Mr. Woodman, I don't Know if what juan painted 215 00:10:18,863 --> 00:10:20,439 Belongs in a schoolyard or not, 216 00:10:20,463 --> 00:10:21,873 But I had the guys Get you these books 217 00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:25,395 To show you that It wasn't filth. 218 00:10:25,463 --> 00:10:26,528 Look. 219 00:10:26,596 --> 00:10:29,961 Look here, look at this Painting by botticelli. 220 00:10:30,031 --> 00:10:31,828 It won't work, kotter. 221 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:34,828 There's a big difference Between this nude and epstein's. 222 00:10:34,897 --> 00:10:36,029 What? 223 00:10:36,097 --> 00:10:37,740 Well, this one doesn't Have "Born to boogie" 224 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,595 Tattooed on her thigh. 225 00:10:44,964 --> 00:10:46,662 Juan, juan! 226 00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:48,529 What did lazarus say? 227 00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:50,962 Well, jack said that I could keep it up 228 00:10:51,032 --> 00:10:54,230 Until miss holtzgang Grades it, and then if it passes, 229 00:10:54,298 --> 00:10:57,330 Well, I can keep it up all week. 230 00:11:00,797 --> 00:11:03,630 What about morality And public decency? 231 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:06,862 We've gotta keep the human Body out of our schools. 232 00:11:10,565 --> 00:11:14,030 Let's start with yours. 233 00:11:14,098 --> 00:11:17,930 Mr. Woodman, the human Body is a beautiful thing. 234 00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:21,330 Kotter, if god Wanted us to be naked, 235 00:11:21,399 --> 00:11:23,730 Why would there Be leisure suits? 236 00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:31,542 Hey, how you doing, juan? 237 00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,042 How you doin', how you doin'? 238 00:11:33,066 --> 00:11:34,675 Thanks a lot, glad you like it. 239 00:11:34,699 --> 00:11:37,464 Listen, juan, you Won your first battle, 240 00:11:37,533 --> 00:11:39,564 Now it's up to the Art teacher to decide. 241 00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:41,797 Yeah, you know, mr. Kotter? 242 00:11:41,866 --> 00:11:43,664 Up until now, everybody Just thought of me 243 00:11:43,699 --> 00:11:47,597 As a... Just another Pretty punk, you know? 244 00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,976 But that painting over there, 245 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,831 That proves that They're wrong, huh? 246 00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,597 Right. Proves you're a Pretty punk that can paint. 247 00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:58,898 Thanks. 248 00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:01,432 Juan, you know, I can't Put my finger on it, 249 00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:04,964 But there's something About that painting. 250 00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:09,499 Do you know where I Can find juan epstein? 251 00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:11,343 Look, officer, I was Nowhere near the place, 252 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,499 I got an alibi. 253 00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:17,133 No, no, I'm a reporter From eye-to-eye news. 254 00:12:17,201 --> 00:12:18,832 Are you the artist? 255 00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:20,133 Yeah. 256 00:12:20,201 --> 00:12:22,465 Then you must be One of his teachers. 257 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,932 Yes, I'm mr. Kotter, K-o-t-t-e-r, 258 00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:29,365 And we're all Very proud of juan. 259 00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:30,810 As his teacher, mr. Kotter, 260 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,277 What do you think Of the painting? 261 00:12:32,301 --> 00:12:33,510 What do I think of the painting? 262 00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:36,432 Oh, well, I think The painting's great. 263 00:12:36,501 --> 00:12:40,332 I think it shows a lot of depth For a high school student. 264 00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:43,833 Just to me, uh, there's Something about that face 265 00:12:43,902 --> 00:12:45,540 That looks awful Familiar, you know? 266 00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,766 I know I've seen her Somewhere before. 267 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:51,833 Yeah, yeah, sure, sure you have. 268 00:12:51,902 --> 00:12:54,000 That's mrs. Kotter. 269 00:12:58,835 --> 00:13:00,645 Well, that's why, that's Why it looks familiar, 270 00:13:00,669 --> 00:13:02,566 He painted a nude of my wife. 271 00:13:08,435 --> 00:13:10,633 You put a nude picture Of julie in the schoolyard? 272 00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,600 What are you crazy? 273 00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:14,001 Come here, juan. 274 00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:15,478 Come here, I want to Talk to you a second. 275 00:13:15,502 --> 00:13:17,600 Come here, juan, come over here. 276 00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,801 Come here. 277 00:13:19,869 --> 00:13:21,301 We do this all the time. 278 00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:22,434 Come here. 279 00:13:22,503 --> 00:13:23,934 Epstein! 280 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,434 We just kid around like this. 281 00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:27,201 Come here, juan! 282 00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:32,134 ♪ 283 00:13:36,636 --> 00:13:37,935 How could juan do that? 284 00:13:38,004 --> 00:13:40,401 Put your face on Someone else's nude body. 285 00:13:40,469 --> 00:13:41,568 I don't know. 286 00:13:41,636 --> 00:13:44,735 In a way, honey, I'm Kind of flattered. 287 00:13:44,804 --> 00:13:46,412 Flattered? Julie, It's ridiculous. 288 00:13:46,436 --> 00:13:50,702 Your face on delores Delvecchio's body. 289 00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:54,302 Honey, how do you know it's Delores delvecchio's body? 290 00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:58,035 Well, I got juan to admit It after I tackled him. 291 00:14:01,604 --> 00:14:02,814 I kind of knew it all along, 292 00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,047 I mean, that it Wasn't your body, 293 00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:08,302 I mean, delores can Really fill out a wall. 294 00:14:08,370 --> 00:14:11,170 And I can't? 295 00:14:11,238 --> 00:14:16,103 Oh, julie, my honey, My sweetie, my poopsie. 296 00:14:18,771 --> 00:14:20,369 What else? 297 00:14:20,438 --> 00:14:22,381 Julie, the difference Between you and delores 298 00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,536 Is about 18 bricks. 299 00:14:26,971 --> 00:14:30,837 Well, if it's just my face, what Are you so worried about? 300 00:14:30,906 --> 00:14:32,281 Julie, you think I Want to go to school 301 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,536 And have to look at Your face every day? 302 00:14:37,139 --> 00:14:39,503 Um, what I mean is, you Know, look at your face 303 00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:42,369 On somebody else's naked body. 304 00:14:45,073 --> 00:14:46,348 I'll get it. You Know what I meant, 305 00:14:46,372 --> 00:14:48,104 What are you looking at me for? 306 00:14:50,339 --> 00:14:52,571 Hello? 307 00:14:52,639 --> 00:14:57,004 Yes, this is the nude's husband. 308 00:14:57,073 --> 00:15:00,470 No, I don't have any pocket Sized pictures of my wife. 309 00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:06,771 Julie, this is gettin' serious. 310 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,838 Did you know there was a Tv news guy down today? 311 00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:10,615 They want to do something On the news tomorrow. 312 00:15:10,639 --> 00:15:12,871 But, honey, you were So proud of juan, 313 00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:15,571 You said he was finally Expressing himself 314 00:15:15,639 --> 00:15:18,338 In a socially positive way. 315 00:15:18,407 --> 00:15:20,083 Yeah, well, let him Be social and positive 316 00:15:20,107 --> 00:15:22,938 With somebody else's wife. 317 00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:25,905 I'm gonna call him up, This thing has got to stop. 318 00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:29,072 It's really gone too far. 319 00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:32,672 Hello, mrs. Epstein, Can I speak to juan? 320 00:15:32,741 --> 00:15:36,471 Buenos noches. 321 00:15:36,540 --> 00:15:37,917 Mrs. Epstein, you Can speak english, 322 00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:40,372 It's not the police. 323 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,939 It's mr. Kotter. 324 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:46,339 Juan, buenos noches to you. 325 00:15:46,408 --> 00:15:47,672 Juan, listen, it's mr... 326 00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:51,073 Can you meet me in the Schoolyard right now? 327 00:15:51,142 --> 00:15:52,339 Yeah. 328 00:15:52,408 --> 00:15:54,774 What do you mean you Don't go out in the dark? 329 00:15:54,842 --> 00:15:56,273 I'll see you there, okay? 330 00:15:56,341 --> 00:15:58,173 All right, bye-bye. 331 00:15:58,242 --> 00:16:00,640 I'll just go talk to him. 332 00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:03,306 It's really getting To bother me, honey. 333 00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:05,306 - oh, baby? - what? 334 00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:07,294 Keep your clothes On till I get back. 335 00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:19,241 There, that's better. 336 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:24,641 Maybe a little more there. 337 00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,340 Maybe one more touch there. 338 00:16:35,843 --> 00:16:39,441 My nude wife is not Gonna be on the 11:00 news. 339 00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:47,575 Oh no. 340 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,776 Who would do this To juan's painting? 341 00:16:55,543 --> 00:17:00,242 Hey, mr. Kotter. 342 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,708 Mr. Kotter, the guys And I, we talked it over, 343 00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:05,675 And I decided that I ain't Gonna change the painting. 344 00:17:05,744 --> 00:17:08,076 Yeah, so, you can Just turn around 345 00:17:08,145 --> 00:17:11,076 Like a good little buckaroo, 346 00:17:11,145 --> 00:17:16,609 Skip on home with Your spray can of paint. 347 00:17:16,678 --> 00:17:17,942 Spray can? 348 00:17:18,011 --> 00:17:19,209 What? 349 00:17:23,078 --> 00:17:26,476 Don't look, don't look, juan! 350 00:17:26,544 --> 00:17:30,877 Mr. Kotter, how Could you do this? 351 00:17:30,945 --> 00:17:32,576 I didn't do anything. 352 00:17:32,645 --> 00:17:35,843 Come on. 353 00:17:35,912 --> 00:17:37,088 I know you're bummed on me 354 00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:39,510 On account of I used Mrs. Kotter's face, 355 00:17:39,578 --> 00:17:44,043 But she's the only girl I Know that don't have zits. 356 00:17:44,112 --> 00:17:45,688 Guys, look, you Gotta believe me, 357 00:17:45,712 --> 00:17:47,210 I didn't do anything. 358 00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:49,010 Then who did? 359 00:17:49,079 --> 00:17:51,144 Someone who didn't Like your painting. 360 00:17:51,212 --> 00:17:54,410 Someone who's Really destructive. 361 00:17:54,479 --> 00:17:58,078 Somebody who's really twisted. 362 00:17:58,147 --> 00:18:01,377 Somebody who's really short. 363 00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:04,778 Woodman. 364 00:18:04,846 --> 00:18:06,478 I'm ruined. 365 00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,378 What difference does it make? 366 00:18:08,446 --> 00:18:09,989 It's the first thing I ever do in my life, 367 00:18:10,013 --> 00:18:12,178 It just goes to pot. 368 00:18:12,247 --> 00:18:15,245 Look, juan, if it's Really important to you, 369 00:18:15,313 --> 00:18:17,289 We can't let woodman Get away with this. 370 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,689 Yeah, yeah, juan, You know, like, 371 00:18:18,713 --> 00:18:21,411 We could all stay here with You all night and we can help. 372 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:25,311 In fact, arnold can Be the drop cloth. 373 00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,578 Hey, you know what, juan? 374 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,823 It could be really interesting 375 00:18:27,847 --> 00:18:30,212 If I get to paint The part that I want. 376 00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:37,045 Well, look, I'm the One who painted it, 377 00:18:37,114 --> 00:18:40,079 So I'm gonna be The one who fixes it. 378 00:18:40,148 --> 00:18:41,345 All right, that's fine. 379 00:18:41,414 --> 00:18:42,457 All right, come on, guys, 380 00:18:42,481 --> 00:18:43,823 Let's leave the Artist to his work. 381 00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:45,290 - come on. - good luck, juan. 382 00:18:45,314 --> 00:18:47,232 - see you later, juan. - be cool, my man. 383 00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:53,846 Hello, this is your Eye-to-eye news reporter 384 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,746 Jerry cronkite. 385 00:18:55,815 --> 00:18:58,780 No relation. 386 00:18:58,848 --> 00:19:01,380 In a few moments, the school Art teacher will tell us 387 00:19:01,447 --> 00:19:06,213 If epstein's madonna Is obscenity or art. 388 00:19:06,282 --> 00:19:09,546 It's neither. 389 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,480 Can you tell us, mr. Epstein, 390 00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:13,513 Does your painting Have any message? 391 00:19:13,582 --> 00:19:15,346 Well, yes, but I'm Not old enough 392 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,513 To know what it is. 393 00:19:17,582 --> 00:19:18,859 Come on, come on, This is my interview. 394 00:19:18,883 --> 00:19:21,781 You just ask me The questions, hear? 395 00:19:21,849 --> 00:19:25,580 Exactly what painters Influenced you? 396 00:19:25,649 --> 00:19:29,781 Well, rembrandt for the eyes, 397 00:19:29,849 --> 00:19:32,081 Picasso for the mouth, 398 00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,581 And the body, earl scheib. 399 00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:39,648 All right, everybody, everybody, 400 00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:43,481 Miss holtzgang's ready To grade the painting. 401 00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:46,248 Uh, just one more Question, epstein. 402 00:19:46,316 --> 00:19:49,614 Conceptually thinking, What does your naked body 403 00:19:49,683 --> 00:19:51,714 Eating grapes represent? 404 00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:59,681 A naked body eating grapes. 405 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:03,315 Juan, juan, I am ready to Give you your grade now. 406 00:20:03,384 --> 00:20:04,893 - oh, this is it. - oh, let's hear it. 407 00:20:04,917 --> 00:20:07,149 This is the moment We've been waiting for. 408 00:20:07,217 --> 00:20:10,315 The fate of the epstein Madonna is about to be decided. 409 00:20:12,384 --> 00:20:13,849 There's no bikini. 410 00:20:13,918 --> 00:20:15,749 Where's my bikini, carter? 411 00:20:15,818 --> 00:20:17,593 Relax, mr. Woodman, We'll give you a bikini 412 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,849 When you go to the beach. 413 00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:23,615 All right, okay, now, Before I give juan his grade, 414 00:20:23,684 --> 00:20:26,916 I would like to say that I Think he has a great eye 415 00:20:26,985 --> 00:20:30,516 For color, space, And proportion, 416 00:20:30,584 --> 00:20:33,049 Especially proportions. 417 00:20:34,385 --> 00:20:35,583 Let's get to the point. 418 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,049 Is it obscene or isn't it? 419 00:20:38,118 --> 00:20:40,150 No, it is not. 420 00:20:42,852 --> 00:20:47,316 Some very small minds might Think this is just a naked lady, 421 00:20:47,385 --> 00:20:51,349 But we artists feel That the human body 422 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:55,583 Is the greatest artistic Image that can be painted. 423 00:20:55,652 --> 00:21:01,117 And therefore, therefore, I'm going to give juan a b plus. 424 00:21:04,153 --> 00:21:06,084 A b plus? 425 00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:08,550 A b plus for no bikini? 426 00:21:08,619 --> 00:21:10,817 Now you're gonna have all Kind of weirdos around here. 427 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,162 Will you stop it, mr. Woodman? 428 00:21:12,186 --> 00:21:13,929 We're not gonna have Any weirdos around here. 429 00:21:13,953 --> 00:21:17,951 Repent, the world Is coming to an end! 430 00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:24,951 You see? 431 00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:27,051 It's started already. 432 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:32,718 That's no weirdo, mr. Woodman, That's one of my uncles. 433 00:21:32,787 --> 00:21:37,051 This is jerry cronkite saying Maybe I'll see you tomorrow. 434 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,696 Good night, and good luck. 435 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,018 Goodnight, delores. 436 00:21:40,087 --> 00:21:41,086 So long. 437 00:21:41,154 --> 00:21:42,252 Am I off? 438 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,153 You guys are all way off. 439 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:46,685 Well, how did we do, huh? 440 00:21:46,754 --> 00:21:49,418 Well, juan, look, you've got Something to be proud of. 441 00:21:49,487 --> 00:21:51,131 Your painting is Gonna stay up all week. 442 00:21:51,155 --> 00:21:53,131 Well, thanks a lot, I really appreciate 443 00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:54,563 Your support And all, mr. Kotter, 444 00:21:54,587 --> 00:21:57,852 But I hope I didn't mess things Up with mrs. Kotter, you know? 445 00:21:57,921 --> 00:22:01,452 Putting her face on delores Delvecchio's nude body. 446 00:22:04,721 --> 00:22:05,831 - wait a minute. - huh? 447 00:22:05,855 --> 00:22:08,052 That's delores delvecchio, 448 00:22:08,121 --> 00:22:09,853 My delores delvecchio? 449 00:22:09,922 --> 00:22:12,686 Oh, yeah, vinnie, you mean You didn't recognize the... 450 00:22:12,755 --> 00:22:14,187 Oh, yeah, yeah. 451 00:22:14,255 --> 00:22:15,486 Oh, yeah. 452 00:22:15,554 --> 00:22:19,053 Hey, come on, vinnie, Even I knew it was delores. 453 00:22:21,554 --> 00:22:23,853 Hey, hey, vinnie, Vinnie, come on! 454 00:22:23,922 --> 00:22:25,487 Hey, guys! 455 00:22:25,555 --> 00:22:27,187 Vinnie! 456 00:22:32,790 --> 00:22:35,720 So that's delores delvecchio. 457 00:22:35,790 --> 00:22:41,654 ♪ 458 00:22:51,090 --> 00:22:55,788 Okay, okay, voila, here it is. 459 00:22:55,856 --> 00:22:59,454 Well, honey, I don't think It looks anything like me. 460 00:23:02,323 --> 00:23:06,088 Well, on second thought. 461 00:23:06,157 --> 00:23:07,967 You're right, it doesn't Look anything like you. 462 00:23:07,991 --> 00:23:11,055 Come on. 463 00:23:11,124 --> 00:23:13,022 - julie. - oh... 464 00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:15,755 Did I ever tell you About my uncle willy? 465 00:23:15,824 --> 00:23:18,721 Gabe, what does your uncle Willy have to do with my portrait? 466 00:23:18,791 --> 00:23:21,789 You see, my uncle willy looked Exactly like james cagney. 467 00:23:21,857 --> 00:23:23,300 Every time he went Anywhere people would say, 468 00:23:23,324 --> 00:23:24,767 "Hey, aren't you james cagney?" 469 00:23:24,791 --> 00:23:26,700 And all his life he had to Say, "No, I'm not james cagney." 470 00:23:26,724 --> 00:23:28,067 - all right? - uh-huh. 471 00:23:28,091 --> 00:23:30,555 So, one day this beautiful Lady comes up to him, she says, 472 00:23:30,624 --> 00:23:32,656 "James cagney!" 473 00:23:32,724 --> 00:23:35,956 And my uncle willy says, "No, I am not james cagney." 474 00:23:36,025 --> 00:23:38,157 And she says, "Well, that's too bad, 475 00:23:38,224 --> 00:23:41,555 You know, I always wanted To make love to james cagney." 476 00:23:41,624 --> 00:23:44,123 Yeah? 477 00:23:44,192 --> 00:23:45,301 You know what my uncle said? 478 00:23:45,325 --> 00:23:46,890 No, what did he say? 479 00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:49,890 "You dirty rat, You come with me." 480 00:23:51,492 --> 00:23:54,390 ♪ 481 00:24:00,492 --> 00:24:06,356 ♪ 482 00:24:07,826 --> 00:24:10,523 ♪ welcome back ♪ 483 00:24:10,592 --> 00:24:14,191 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 484 00:24:14,260 --> 00:24:16,491 ♪ welcome back ♪ 485 00:24:16,558 --> 00:24:21,391 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 486 00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:23,424 ♪ well the names Have all changed 487 00:24:23,493 --> 00:24:25,691 Since you hung around ♪ 488 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,957 ♪ but those dreams have remained 489 00:24:28,026 --> 00:24:30,024 And they've turned around ♪ 490 00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,091 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 491 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,125 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 492 00:24:34,193 --> 00:24:36,092 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 493 00:24:36,161 --> 00:24:38,324 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 494 00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:40,325 ♪ yeah we tease him a lot 495 00:24:40,393 --> 00:24:42,491 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 496 00:24:42,559 --> 00:24:44,724 ♪ welcome back ♪ 497 00:24:44,794 --> 00:24:49,024 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪ 498 00:24:49,093 --> 00:24:51,592 ♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪ 499 00:24:51,661 --> 00:24:54,058 ♪ welcome back ♪ 500 00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:57,826 ♪ we always could Spot a friend ♪ 501 00:24:57,894 --> 00:25:00,158 ♪ welcome back ♪ 502 00:25:00,227 --> 00:25:02,559 ♪ and I smile when I think 503 00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:04,592 How you must've been ♪♪ 36646

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