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1
00:00:01,908 --> 00:00:03,318
Julie, I ever tell you
About my cousin janet
2
00:00:03,342 --> 00:00:04,381
Who's away at school?
3
00:00:04,442 --> 00:00:05,572
No.
4
00:00:05,641 --> 00:00:07,351
She just wrote my aunt
And my uncle a letter.
5
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:08,374
Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,551
She said, "Dear mom and pop,
7
00:00:09,575 --> 00:00:11,017
I know I haven't written
To you for a week,
8
00:00:11,041 --> 00:00:13,440
But there have been some
Extenuating circumstances.
9
00:00:13,509 --> 00:00:15,906
First of all, I had an
Accident and I hurt my leg.
10
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,618
It's not serious,
The doctor said
11
00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:19,674
I should recover full
Use of it in about a year.
12
00:00:19,742 --> 00:00:20,873
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:20,942 --> 00:00:22,051
The reason I didn't
Need your support
14
00:00:22,075 --> 00:00:23,707
Was because I've met a boy.
15
00:00:23,776 --> 00:00:25,085
In fact, I met him
Over a year ago
16
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,785
And I've neglected
To tell you about him.
17
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,440
He's much older than I am
And he's not of our religion,
18
00:00:29,509 --> 00:00:31,940
But I think that
You'll get to like him.
19
00:00:32,009 --> 00:00:33,341
We are going to get married.
20
00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:35,607
Not that we want
To, we just have to.
21
00:00:35,676 --> 00:00:37,107
I'm sure you'll understand.
22
00:00:37,176 --> 00:00:39,474
Jerry should find a job,
He's been looking quite hard
23
00:00:39,543 --> 00:00:41,174
For the past year."
24
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,841
Then she signed her name,
"Your loving daughter, janet.
25
00:00:43,909 --> 00:00:47,140
P.S. Everything I've written
You is absolutely false.
26
00:00:47,209 --> 00:00:50,008
However I did get a d in
English and I wanted you to see it
27
00:00:50,076 --> 00:00:52,474
In its proper perspective."
28
00:00:56,177 --> 00:01:02,041
♪
29
00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:06,908
♪ welcome back ♪
30
00:01:06,976 --> 00:01:10,642
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
31
00:01:10,711 --> 00:01:12,809
♪ welcome back ♪
32
00:01:12,877 --> 00:01:17,442
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
33
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,842
♪ well the names
Have all changed
34
00:01:19,911 --> 00:01:21,975
Since you hung around ♪
35
00:01:22,044 --> 00:01:24,142
♪ but those dreams have remained
36
00:01:24,211 --> 00:01:26,409
And they've turned around ♪
37
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,475
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
38
00:01:28,544 --> 00:01:30,463
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
39
00:01:30,512 --> 00:01:32,476
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
40
00:01:32,545 --> 00:01:34,709
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
41
00:01:34,778 --> 00:01:36,677
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
42
00:01:36,744 --> 00:01:38,942
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
43
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:41,242
♪ welcome back ♪
44
00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:46,810
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
45
00:02:03,513 --> 00:02:06,910
Hey, uh, what are you people
Doing with all this merchandise?
46
00:02:06,978 --> 00:02:09,411
Gonna open up a pawn shop?
47
00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,922
Hey, mr. Kotter,
Are you kidding me?
48
00:02:10,945 --> 00:02:15,044
You couldn't find stuff like
This in a picasso garage sale.
49
00:02:15,112 --> 00:02:16,555
Hey, man, all this stuff here,
50
00:02:16,579 --> 00:02:19,044
These are projects for
Art appreciation class.
51
00:02:19,113 --> 00:02:22,844
Well, I thought it was
Be kind to trash week.
52
00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:24,877
Now, mr. Kotter,
There's a big difference
53
00:02:24,946 --> 00:02:27,178
Between garbage and art.
54
00:02:27,246 --> 00:02:31,911
The art collector
Don't come twice a week.
55
00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:33,490
All right, let's
See what you got.
56
00:02:33,514 --> 00:02:36,712
Arnold horshack, come on down.
57
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,956
Thank you, thank
You, my friends.
58
00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,578
Thank you, don pardo.
59
00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:49,978
Here it is, mr. Kotter,
Do you like it?
60
00:02:50,047 --> 00:02:51,046
Do I like it?
61
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,478
Well, this is one
Of the best, uh,
62
00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:56,346
One of these I've ever seen.
63
00:02:56,415 --> 00:02:58,313
Then you know what it is?
64
00:02:58,381 --> 00:03:01,179
Of course I know what
It is, arnold, I'm a teacher.
65
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:04,513
Let's see if one of
Them knows what it is.
66
00:03:04,582 --> 00:03:05,691
Yeah, I know what it is,
67
00:03:05,715 --> 00:03:06,791
I could check it out
From any difference.
68
00:03:06,815 --> 00:03:10,379
Let me check this
Out a little slower.
69
00:03:10,448 --> 00:03:13,913
It's a swimming
Pool for pygmies.
70
00:03:13,981 --> 00:03:16,846
No, it's not, no, it's not.
71
00:03:16,915 --> 00:03:19,546
It's a hat for a monkey.
72
00:03:19,615 --> 00:03:23,013
Hoo-hoo!
73
00:03:23,082 --> 00:03:24,913
You gotta put a
Strap on it though.
74
00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:27,480
Go ahead, mr. Kotter,
You tell them what it is,
75
00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:28,979
Go ahead, go ahead.
76
00:03:29,048 --> 00:03:30,180
Well, um.
77
00:03:30,249 --> 00:03:31,280
Go ahead.
78
00:03:31,349 --> 00:03:35,046
- this is...
- go ahead.
79
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:39,947
Arnold, it's your project,
Why don't you tell 'em?
80
00:03:40,016 --> 00:03:45,647
It's a combination ash
Tray and denture cup.
81
00:03:45,716 --> 00:03:48,780
You see, you can put
Out your cigarettes
82
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:53,481
And your teeth at the same time.
83
00:03:53,549 --> 00:03:55,025
All right, you wanna see art?
84
00:03:55,049 --> 00:03:56,125
Okay, I'll show you art.
85
00:03:56,149 --> 00:03:57,748
Check it out, check it out.
86
00:03:57,816 --> 00:03:58,947
Look at this.
87
00:03:59,016 --> 00:04:03,314
All right, this is a
Plaster of paris pizza.
88
00:04:03,384 --> 00:04:07,782
All right, the nice screws
Are made as anchovies
89
00:04:07,851 --> 00:04:12,048
And the washers,
They're pepperonis.
90
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:13,948
What's that right over there?
91
00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:18,615
Oh, that's a fly that fell
In when I was making it.
92
00:04:18,683 --> 00:04:23,483
It looked so good to him,
He didn't know the difference.
93
00:04:23,551 --> 00:04:24,782
You want a piece?
94
00:04:24,851 --> 00:04:27,616
No, no, no, I like
Sausage pizza.
95
00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:30,449
No, I can't make you
That, I ran out of bolts.
96
00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:37,516
Okay, mr. Kotter, since you've
Dispensed with the amateurs,
97
00:04:37,584 --> 00:04:40,815
It's time to repay with a
Visit from the old master,
98
00:04:40,884 --> 00:04:45,916
Better known as vincent
Van gogh of the ghetto.
99
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:46,994
Got it right under here.
100
00:04:47,018 --> 00:04:48,350
I made a bust.
101
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:51,816
Check it out.
102
00:04:51,885 --> 00:04:57,116
This hand symbolizes man
Reachin' out to his fellow man.
103
00:04:57,185 --> 00:05:01,650
Wow, frederick.
104
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:05,316
I think his manicure
Has turned on him.
105
00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:08,283
That's what happens
When you don't tip.
106
00:05:08,352 --> 00:05:10,217
- nice, huh?
- it's terrific, freddie.
107
00:05:10,285 --> 00:05:11,716
Thanks a lot.
108
00:05:11,785 --> 00:05:12,828
Okay, now, today, I want...
109
00:05:12,852 --> 00:05:15,483
Buenos morning, buenos morning.
110
00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:18,317
Epstein, epstein!
111
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,817
Come here.
112
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,683
First of all, you're
Five minutes late.
113
00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:24,151
And second of all, where's
Your project for art class?
114
00:05:24,219 --> 00:05:26,717
My art project's out the window.
115
00:05:26,787 --> 00:05:27,786
Out the window?
116
00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:32,217
Yeah.
117
00:05:32,286 --> 00:05:33,384
Where?
118
00:05:33,452 --> 00:05:35,218
Right out there.
119
00:05:35,286 --> 00:05:38,751
The wino on the park
Bench is your project?
120
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,396
Come on, come on,
You gotta look down.
121
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,319
Here, look down.
122
00:05:42,386 --> 00:05:43,396
Oh, that sheet on the wall?
123
00:05:43,419 --> 00:05:44,651
Yeah, yeah.
124
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,757
Every year a student is
Picked to paint a "Murial"
125
00:05:46,787 --> 00:05:48,651
For art appreciation week.
126
00:05:48,719 --> 00:05:52,418
And this year you were
Picked to paint the "Murial?"
127
00:05:52,487 --> 00:05:54,652
Well, actually, I
Was the runner-up.
128
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:55,863
The guy they picked first
129
00:05:55,887 --> 00:06:00,551
Met with a very
Unfortunate accident.
130
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:04,086
I guess the art game can
Be real rough, you know?
131
00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:05,864
Yeah, I guess so.
What did you paint?
132
00:06:05,888 --> 00:06:07,131
Well, look, it's
Not just a painting,
133
00:06:07,155 --> 00:06:09,153
See, I mean, it's...
134
00:06:09,221 --> 00:06:13,319
Look, mr. Kotter,
Once in a lifetime,
135
00:06:13,388 --> 00:06:15,585
A man knows a moment.
136
00:06:15,654 --> 00:06:19,019
A wonderful moment
137
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,919
When fate takes his hand.
138
00:06:21,988 --> 00:06:25,352
♪ and this is his moment ♪
139
00:06:25,421 --> 00:06:29,452
♪ his once in a lifetime ♪♪
140
00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:32,452
Hang out, hang out.
141
00:06:32,521 --> 00:06:37,187
May I present to you,
Epstein's madonna.
142
00:06:39,755 --> 00:06:40,754
All right.
143
00:06:40,789 --> 00:06:42,465
That's nice, that's really nice.
144
00:06:42,488 --> 00:06:43,719
That's very nice.
145
00:06:43,789 --> 00:06:46,587
That's the first time
I've seen an artist
146
00:06:46,655 --> 00:06:49,987
Sign his name up
Somebody's nose.
147
00:06:50,055 --> 00:06:52,053
It's a good thing
She ain't alive,
148
00:06:52,122 --> 00:06:54,953
One big sneeze and
You'd be anonymous.
149
00:06:57,823 --> 00:06:59,165
Hey, you guys ain't
Seen nothin' yet,
150
00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:01,220
The rest of her's
Around the corner.
151
00:07:01,289 --> 00:07:03,888
Well, why did you paint
Her around the corner?
152
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:07,321
It's a heck of a lot easier
Than straightening out the wall.
153
00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:21,488
Oh boy.
154
00:07:21,556 --> 00:07:23,721
Kotter, this is an outrage.
155
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:26,721
She's nude.
156
00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:27,790
I'm an artist.
157
00:07:27,824 --> 00:07:30,122
I paint what's inside of me.
158
00:07:30,190 --> 00:07:32,033
The problem's not what
You've got on the inside
159
00:07:32,057 --> 00:07:35,488
It's what she's
Got on the outside.
160
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:42,022
Now I know why my
Sister has her own room.
161
00:07:45,391 --> 00:07:49,922
Epstein, she's supposed
To have clothes on.
162
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:53,122
I ran out of paint.
163
00:07:53,191 --> 00:07:55,033
Now, listen, epstein,
Either you put those grapes
164
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,722
Where they do some good,
165
00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:58,890
Or I'll send you to
Principal lazarus' office.
166
00:07:59,958 --> 00:08:01,500
Wait a second, wait a second.
167
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,823
Mr. Woodman, that's
Not for you to decide.
168
00:08:03,892 --> 00:08:06,290
I mean, this mural is
His art class project.
169
00:08:06,358 --> 00:08:07,489
That's wonderful.
170
00:08:07,557 --> 00:08:09,068
And what's he doing
For social studies,
171
00:08:09,092 --> 00:08:12,123
Invading poland?
172
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,390
Take it easy, huh?
173
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:16,356
Juan, woodman does have a point.
174
00:08:16,425 --> 00:08:19,356
I mean, the lady's nude.
175
00:08:19,425 --> 00:08:20,956
Come on, I know my rights.
176
00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:23,056
This is a schoolyard wall.
177
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:24,935
A lot of people go
By here every day.
178
00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:27,091
Now, if you wanted to
Paint something like this,
179
00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:28,601
You could have
Done it on a canvas.
180
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:31,490
Look, you don't
Understand. It's art.
181
00:08:31,558 --> 00:08:33,935
Now that's my vision of life
And I ain't gonna change it.
182
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,501
- that's right.
- that's right.
183
00:08:35,525 --> 00:08:36,723
He's got it right.
184
00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:40,491
Besides, once I connect
The dots, that's that.
185
00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:52,191
Hey, mr. Kotter.
186
00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:54,003
Here are the art books
That you wanted us
187
00:08:54,027 --> 00:08:55,103
To pick up in the library.
188
00:08:55,127 --> 00:08:57,025
You know, some of
The pictures in here
189
00:08:57,094 --> 00:09:00,624
Are definitely not
Suitable for family viewing.
190
00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:03,792
Boy, we got some bad
Titles inside them books, boy.
191
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:07,092
Right here we got
"Renaissance painters,"
192
00:09:07,161 --> 00:09:09,958
We got over here
"The great masters."
193
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:11,303
That's a good one,
That's bad, boy.
194
00:09:11,327 --> 00:09:12,503
And right over here we have
195
00:09:12,527 --> 00:09:17,859
"Toulouse-lautrec and
Other short stories."
196
00:09:17,928 --> 00:09:19,370
I can tell this
Book's really old.
197
00:09:19,394 --> 00:09:21,659
Van gogh still
Has both his ears.
198
00:09:24,028 --> 00:09:25,926
Hey, mr. Kotter, you know what,
199
00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:29,126
I ain't never been
To a library before.
200
00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:30,238
Man, that was really stupid.
201
00:09:30,262 --> 00:09:33,525
Everybody's goin', "Shh!"
202
00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:37,227
What, they're afraid
Of wakin' up the books?
203
00:09:43,529 --> 00:09:45,993
Did, uh, did you take
Out a book, vinnie?
204
00:09:46,062 --> 00:09:51,094
No, but I'm gonna take out the
Librarian this saturday night.
205
00:09:51,162 --> 00:09:53,293
Vinnie, you better
Get her back on time,
206
00:09:53,362 --> 00:09:56,560
It's three cents
A day if she's late.
207
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,693
I can afford that.
208
00:09:59,762 --> 00:10:02,061
Kotter, there's another one.
209
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,361
Third complaint this
Morning about that nude.
210
00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:06,306
Epstein's not gonna
Get away with this.
211
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:09,994
Relax, mr. Woodman, juan's
In lazarus' office right now.
212
00:10:10,063 --> 00:10:12,128
Lazarus is gonna decide.
213
00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:16,294
What's all this, more filth?
214
00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:18,794
Mr. Woodman, I don't
Know if what juan painted
215
00:10:18,863 --> 00:10:20,439
Belongs in a schoolyard or not,
216
00:10:20,463 --> 00:10:21,873
But I had the guys
Get you these books
217
00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:25,395
To show you that
It wasn't filth.
218
00:10:25,463 --> 00:10:26,528
Look.
219
00:10:26,596 --> 00:10:29,961
Look here, look at this
Painting by botticelli.
220
00:10:30,031 --> 00:10:31,828
It won't work, kotter.
221
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:34,828
There's a big difference
Between this nude and epstein's.
222
00:10:34,897 --> 00:10:36,029
What?
223
00:10:36,097 --> 00:10:37,740
Well, this one doesn't
Have "Born to boogie"
224
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,595
Tattooed on her thigh.
225
00:10:44,964 --> 00:10:46,662
Juan, juan!
226
00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:48,529
What did lazarus say?
227
00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:50,962
Well, jack said that
I could keep it up
228
00:10:51,032 --> 00:10:54,230
Until miss holtzgang
Grades it, and then if it passes,
229
00:10:54,298 --> 00:10:57,330
Well, I can keep it up all week.
230
00:11:00,797 --> 00:11:03,630
What about morality
And public decency?
231
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:06,862
We've gotta keep the human
Body out of our schools.
232
00:11:10,565 --> 00:11:14,030
Let's start with yours.
233
00:11:14,098 --> 00:11:17,930
Mr. Woodman, the human
Body is a beautiful thing.
234
00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:21,330
Kotter, if god
Wanted us to be naked,
235
00:11:21,399 --> 00:11:23,730
Why would there
Be leisure suits?
236
00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:31,542
Hey, how you doing, juan?
237
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,042
How you doin', how you doin'?
238
00:11:33,066 --> 00:11:34,675
Thanks a lot, glad you like it.
239
00:11:34,699 --> 00:11:37,464
Listen, juan, you
Won your first battle,
240
00:11:37,533 --> 00:11:39,564
Now it's up to the
Art teacher to decide.
241
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:41,797
Yeah, you know, mr. Kotter?
242
00:11:41,866 --> 00:11:43,664
Up until now, everybody
Just thought of me
243
00:11:43,699 --> 00:11:47,597
As a... Just another
Pretty punk, you know?
244
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,976
But that painting over there,
245
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,831
That proves that
They're wrong, huh?
246
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,597
Right. Proves you're a
Pretty punk that can paint.
247
00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:58,898
Thanks.
248
00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:01,432
Juan, you know, I can't
Put my finger on it,
249
00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:04,964
But there's something
About that painting.
250
00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:09,499
Do you know where I
Can find juan epstein?
251
00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:11,343
Look, officer, I was
Nowhere near the place,
252
00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,499
I got an alibi.
253
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:17,133
No, no, I'm a reporter
From eye-to-eye news.
254
00:12:17,201 --> 00:12:18,832
Are you the artist?
255
00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:20,133
Yeah.
256
00:12:20,201 --> 00:12:22,465
Then you must be
One of his teachers.
257
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,932
Yes, I'm mr. Kotter,
K-o-t-t-e-r,
258
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:29,365
And we're all
Very proud of juan.
259
00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:30,810
As his teacher, mr. Kotter,
260
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,277
What do you think
Of the painting?
261
00:12:32,301 --> 00:12:33,510
What do I think of the painting?
262
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:36,432
Oh, well, I think
The painting's great.
263
00:12:36,501 --> 00:12:40,332
I think it shows a lot of depth
For a high school student.
264
00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:43,833
Just to me, uh, there's
Something about that face
265
00:12:43,902 --> 00:12:45,540
That looks awful
Familiar, you know?
266
00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,766
I know I've seen her
Somewhere before.
267
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:51,833
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure you have.
268
00:12:51,902 --> 00:12:54,000
That's mrs. Kotter.
269
00:12:58,835 --> 00:13:00,645
Well, that's why, that's
Why it looks familiar,
270
00:13:00,669 --> 00:13:02,566
He painted a nude of my wife.
271
00:13:08,435 --> 00:13:10,633
You put a nude picture
Of julie in the schoolyard?
272
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,600
What are you crazy?
273
00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:14,001
Come here, juan.
274
00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:15,478
Come here, I want to
Talk to you a second.
275
00:13:15,502 --> 00:13:17,600
Come here, juan, come over here.
276
00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,801
Come here.
277
00:13:19,869 --> 00:13:21,301
We do this all the time.
278
00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:22,434
Come here.
279
00:13:22,503 --> 00:13:23,934
Epstein!
280
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,434
We just kid around like this.
281
00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:27,201
Come here, juan!
282
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:32,134
♪
283
00:13:36,636 --> 00:13:37,935
How could juan do that?
284
00:13:38,004 --> 00:13:40,401
Put your face on
Someone else's nude body.
285
00:13:40,469 --> 00:13:41,568
I don't know.
286
00:13:41,636 --> 00:13:44,735
In a way, honey, I'm
Kind of flattered.
287
00:13:44,804 --> 00:13:46,412
Flattered? Julie,
It's ridiculous.
288
00:13:46,436 --> 00:13:50,702
Your face on delores
Delvecchio's body.
289
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:54,302
Honey, how do you know it's
Delores delvecchio's body?
290
00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:58,035
Well, I got juan to admit
It after I tackled him.
291
00:14:01,604 --> 00:14:02,814
I kind of knew it all along,
292
00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,047
I mean, that it
Wasn't your body,
293
00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:08,302
I mean, delores can
Really fill out a wall.
294
00:14:08,370 --> 00:14:11,170
And I can't?
295
00:14:11,238 --> 00:14:16,103
Oh, julie, my honey,
My sweetie, my poopsie.
296
00:14:18,771 --> 00:14:20,369
What else?
297
00:14:20,438 --> 00:14:22,381
Julie, the difference
Between you and delores
298
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,536
Is about 18 bricks.
299
00:14:26,971 --> 00:14:30,837
Well, if it's just my face, what
Are you so worried about?
300
00:14:30,906 --> 00:14:32,281
Julie, you think I
Want to go to school
301
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,536
And have to look at
Your face every day?
302
00:14:37,139 --> 00:14:39,503
Um, what I mean is, you
Know, look at your face
303
00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:42,369
On somebody else's naked body.
304
00:14:45,073 --> 00:14:46,348
I'll get it. You
Know what I meant,
305
00:14:46,372 --> 00:14:48,104
What are you looking at me for?
306
00:14:50,339 --> 00:14:52,571
Hello?
307
00:14:52,639 --> 00:14:57,004
Yes, this is the nude's husband.
308
00:14:57,073 --> 00:15:00,470
No, I don't have any pocket
Sized pictures of my wife.
309
00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:06,771
Julie, this is gettin' serious.
310
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,838
Did you know there was a
Tv news guy down today?
311
00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:10,615
They want to do something
On the news tomorrow.
312
00:15:10,639 --> 00:15:12,871
But, honey, you were
So proud of juan,
313
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:15,571
You said he was finally
Expressing himself
314
00:15:15,639 --> 00:15:18,338
In a socially positive way.
315
00:15:18,407 --> 00:15:20,083
Yeah, well, let him
Be social and positive
316
00:15:20,107 --> 00:15:22,938
With somebody else's wife.
317
00:15:23,007 --> 00:15:25,905
I'm gonna call him up,
This thing has got to stop.
318
00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:29,072
It's really gone too far.
319
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:32,672
Hello, mrs. Epstein,
Can I speak to juan?
320
00:15:32,741 --> 00:15:36,471
Buenos noches.
321
00:15:36,540 --> 00:15:37,917
Mrs. Epstein, you
Can speak english,
322
00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:40,372
It's not the police.
323
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,939
It's mr. Kotter.
324
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:46,339
Juan, buenos noches to you.
325
00:15:46,408 --> 00:15:47,672
Juan, listen, it's mr...
326
00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:51,073
Can you meet me in the
Schoolyard right now?
327
00:15:51,142 --> 00:15:52,339
Yeah.
328
00:15:52,408 --> 00:15:54,774
What do you mean you
Don't go out in the dark?
329
00:15:54,842 --> 00:15:56,273
I'll see you there, okay?
330
00:15:56,341 --> 00:15:58,173
All right, bye-bye.
331
00:15:58,242 --> 00:16:00,640
I'll just go talk to him.
332
00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:03,306
It's really getting
To bother me, honey.
333
00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:05,306
- oh, baby?
- what?
334
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:07,294
Keep your clothes
On till I get back.
335
00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:19,241
There, that's better.
336
00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:24,641
Maybe a little more there.
337
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,340
Maybe one more touch there.
338
00:16:35,843 --> 00:16:39,441
My nude wife is not
Gonna be on the 11:00 news.
339
00:16:45,443 --> 00:16:47,575
Oh no.
340
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,776
Who would do this
To juan's painting?
341
00:16:55,543 --> 00:17:00,242
Hey, mr. Kotter.
342
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,708
Mr. Kotter, the guys
And I, we talked it over,
343
00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:05,675
And I decided that I ain't
Gonna change the painting.
344
00:17:05,744 --> 00:17:08,076
Yeah, so, you can
Just turn around
345
00:17:08,145 --> 00:17:11,076
Like a good little buckaroo,
346
00:17:11,145 --> 00:17:16,609
Skip on home with
Your spray can of paint.
347
00:17:16,678 --> 00:17:17,942
Spray can?
348
00:17:18,011 --> 00:17:19,209
What?
349
00:17:23,078 --> 00:17:26,476
Don't look, don't look, juan!
350
00:17:26,544 --> 00:17:30,877
Mr. Kotter, how
Could you do this?
351
00:17:30,945 --> 00:17:32,576
I didn't do anything.
352
00:17:32,645 --> 00:17:35,843
Come on.
353
00:17:35,912 --> 00:17:37,088
I know you're bummed on me
354
00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:39,510
On account of I used
Mrs. Kotter's face,
355
00:17:39,578 --> 00:17:44,043
But she's the only girl I
Know that don't have zits.
356
00:17:44,112 --> 00:17:45,688
Guys, look, you
Gotta believe me,
357
00:17:45,712 --> 00:17:47,210
I didn't do anything.
358
00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:49,010
Then who did?
359
00:17:49,079 --> 00:17:51,144
Someone who didn't
Like your painting.
360
00:17:51,212 --> 00:17:54,410
Someone who's
Really destructive.
361
00:17:54,479 --> 00:17:58,078
Somebody who's really twisted.
362
00:17:58,147 --> 00:18:01,377
Somebody who's really short.
363
00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:04,778
Woodman.
364
00:18:04,846 --> 00:18:06,478
I'm ruined.
365
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,378
What difference does it make?
366
00:18:08,446 --> 00:18:09,989
It's the first thing
I ever do in my life,
367
00:18:10,013 --> 00:18:12,178
It just goes to pot.
368
00:18:12,247 --> 00:18:15,245
Look, juan, if it's
Really important to you,
369
00:18:15,313 --> 00:18:17,289
We can't let woodman
Get away with this.
370
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,689
Yeah, yeah, juan,
You know, like,
371
00:18:18,713 --> 00:18:21,411
We could all stay here with
You all night and we can help.
372
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:25,311
In fact, arnold can
Be the drop cloth.
373
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,578
Hey, you know what, juan?
374
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,823
It could be really interesting
375
00:18:27,847 --> 00:18:30,212
If I get to paint
The part that I want.
376
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:37,045
Well, look, I'm the
One who painted it,
377
00:18:37,114 --> 00:18:40,079
So I'm gonna be
The one who fixes it.
378
00:18:40,148 --> 00:18:41,345
All right, that's fine.
379
00:18:41,414 --> 00:18:42,457
All right, come on, guys,
380
00:18:42,481 --> 00:18:43,823
Let's leave the
Artist to his work.
381
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:45,290
- come on.
- good luck, juan.
382
00:18:45,314 --> 00:18:47,232
- see you later, juan.
- be cool, my man.
383
00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:53,846
Hello, this is your
Eye-to-eye news reporter
384
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,746
Jerry cronkite.
385
00:18:55,815 --> 00:18:58,780
No relation.
386
00:18:58,848 --> 00:19:01,380
In a few moments, the school
Art teacher will tell us
387
00:19:01,447 --> 00:19:06,213
If epstein's madonna
Is obscenity or art.
388
00:19:06,282 --> 00:19:09,546
It's neither.
389
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,480
Can you tell us, mr. Epstein,
390
00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:13,513
Does your painting
Have any message?
391
00:19:13,582 --> 00:19:15,346
Well, yes, but I'm
Not old enough
392
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,513
To know what it is.
393
00:19:17,582 --> 00:19:18,859
Come on, come on,
This is my interview.
394
00:19:18,883 --> 00:19:21,781
You just ask me
The questions, hear?
395
00:19:21,849 --> 00:19:25,580
Exactly what painters
Influenced you?
396
00:19:25,649 --> 00:19:29,781
Well, rembrandt for the eyes,
397
00:19:29,849 --> 00:19:32,081
Picasso for the mouth,
398
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,581
And the body, earl scheib.
399
00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:39,648
All right, everybody, everybody,
400
00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:43,481
Miss holtzgang's ready
To grade the painting.
401
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:46,248
Uh, just one more
Question, epstein.
402
00:19:46,316 --> 00:19:49,614
Conceptually thinking,
What does your naked body
403
00:19:49,683 --> 00:19:51,714
Eating grapes represent?
404
00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:59,681
A naked body eating grapes.
405
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:03,315
Juan, juan, I am ready to
Give you your grade now.
406
00:20:03,384 --> 00:20:04,893
- oh, this is it.
- oh, let's hear it.
407
00:20:04,917 --> 00:20:07,149
This is the moment
We've been waiting for.
408
00:20:07,217 --> 00:20:10,315
The fate of the epstein
Madonna is about to be decided.
409
00:20:12,384 --> 00:20:13,849
There's no bikini.
410
00:20:13,918 --> 00:20:15,749
Where's my bikini, carter?
411
00:20:15,818 --> 00:20:17,593
Relax, mr. Woodman,
We'll give you a bikini
412
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,849
When you go to the beach.
413
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:23,615
All right, okay, now,
Before I give juan his grade,
414
00:20:23,684 --> 00:20:26,916
I would like to say that I
Think he has a great eye
415
00:20:26,985 --> 00:20:30,516
For color, space,
And proportion,
416
00:20:30,584 --> 00:20:33,049
Especially proportions.
417
00:20:34,385 --> 00:20:35,583
Let's get to the point.
418
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,049
Is it obscene or isn't it?
419
00:20:38,118 --> 00:20:40,150
No, it is not.
420
00:20:42,852 --> 00:20:47,316
Some very small minds might
Think this is just a naked lady,
421
00:20:47,385 --> 00:20:51,349
But we artists feel
That the human body
422
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:55,583
Is the greatest artistic
Image that can be painted.
423
00:20:55,652 --> 00:21:01,117
And therefore, therefore,
I'm going to give juan a b plus.
424
00:21:04,153 --> 00:21:06,084
A b plus?
425
00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:08,550
A b plus for no bikini?
426
00:21:08,619 --> 00:21:10,817
Now you're gonna have all
Kind of weirdos around here.
427
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,162
Will you stop it, mr. Woodman?
428
00:21:12,186 --> 00:21:13,929
We're not gonna have
Any weirdos around here.
429
00:21:13,953 --> 00:21:17,951
Repent, the world
Is coming to an end!
430
00:21:22,452 --> 00:21:24,951
You see?
431
00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:27,051
It's started already.
432
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:32,718
That's no weirdo, mr. Woodman,
That's one of my uncles.
433
00:21:32,787 --> 00:21:37,051
This is jerry cronkite saying
Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.
434
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,696
Good night, and good luck.
435
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,018
Goodnight, delores.
436
00:21:40,087 --> 00:21:41,086
So long.
437
00:21:41,154 --> 00:21:42,252
Am I off?
438
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,153
You guys are all way off.
439
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:46,685
Well, how did we do, huh?
440
00:21:46,754 --> 00:21:49,418
Well, juan, look, you've got
Something to be proud of.
441
00:21:49,487 --> 00:21:51,131
Your painting is
Gonna stay up all week.
442
00:21:51,155 --> 00:21:53,131
Well, thanks a lot,
I really appreciate
443
00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:54,563
Your support
And all, mr. Kotter,
444
00:21:54,587 --> 00:21:57,852
But I hope I didn't mess things
Up with mrs. Kotter, you know?
445
00:21:57,921 --> 00:22:01,452
Putting her face on delores
Delvecchio's nude body.
446
00:22:04,721 --> 00:22:05,831
- wait a minute.
- huh?
447
00:22:05,855 --> 00:22:08,052
That's delores delvecchio,
448
00:22:08,121 --> 00:22:09,853
My delores delvecchio?
449
00:22:09,922 --> 00:22:12,686
Oh, yeah, vinnie, you mean
You didn't recognize the...
450
00:22:12,755 --> 00:22:14,187
Oh, yeah, yeah.
451
00:22:14,255 --> 00:22:15,486
Oh, yeah.
452
00:22:15,554 --> 00:22:19,053
Hey, come on, vinnie,
Even I knew it was delores.
453
00:22:21,554 --> 00:22:23,853
Hey, hey, vinnie,
Vinnie, come on!
454
00:22:23,922 --> 00:22:25,487
Hey, guys!
455
00:22:25,555 --> 00:22:27,187
Vinnie!
456
00:22:32,790 --> 00:22:35,720
So that's delores delvecchio.
457
00:22:35,790 --> 00:22:41,654
♪
458
00:22:51,090 --> 00:22:55,788
Okay, okay, voila, here it is.
459
00:22:55,856 --> 00:22:59,454
Well, honey, I don't think
It looks anything like me.
460
00:23:02,323 --> 00:23:06,088
Well, on second thought.
461
00:23:06,157 --> 00:23:07,967
You're right, it doesn't
Look anything like you.
462
00:23:07,991 --> 00:23:11,055
Come on.
463
00:23:11,124 --> 00:23:13,022
- julie.
- oh...
464
00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:15,755
Did I ever tell you
About my uncle willy?
465
00:23:15,824 --> 00:23:18,721
Gabe, what does your uncle
Willy have to do with my portrait?
466
00:23:18,791 --> 00:23:21,789
You see, my uncle willy looked
Exactly like james cagney.
467
00:23:21,857 --> 00:23:23,300
Every time he went
Anywhere people would say,
468
00:23:23,324 --> 00:23:24,767
"Hey, aren't you james cagney?"
469
00:23:24,791 --> 00:23:26,700
And all his life he had to
Say, "No, I'm not james cagney."
470
00:23:26,724 --> 00:23:28,067
- all right?
- uh-huh.
471
00:23:28,091 --> 00:23:30,555
So, one day this beautiful
Lady comes up to him, she says,
472
00:23:30,624 --> 00:23:32,656
"James cagney!"
473
00:23:32,724 --> 00:23:35,956
And my uncle willy says,
"No, I am not james cagney."
474
00:23:36,025 --> 00:23:38,157
And she says,
"Well, that's too bad,
475
00:23:38,224 --> 00:23:41,555
You know, I always wanted
To make love to james cagney."
476
00:23:41,624 --> 00:23:44,123
Yeah?
477
00:23:44,192 --> 00:23:45,301
You know what my uncle said?
478
00:23:45,325 --> 00:23:46,890
No, what did he say?
479
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:49,890
"You dirty rat,
You come with me."
480
00:23:51,492 --> 00:23:54,390
♪
481
00:24:00,492 --> 00:24:06,356
♪
482
00:24:07,826 --> 00:24:10,523
♪ welcome back ♪
483
00:24:10,592 --> 00:24:14,191
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
484
00:24:14,260 --> 00:24:16,491
♪ welcome back ♪
485
00:24:16,558 --> 00:24:21,391
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
486
00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:23,424
♪ well the names
Have all changed
487
00:24:23,493 --> 00:24:25,691
Since you hung around ♪
488
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,957
♪ but those dreams have remained
489
00:24:28,026 --> 00:24:30,024
And they've turned around ♪
490
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,091
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
491
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,125
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
492
00:24:34,193 --> 00:24:36,092
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
493
00:24:36,161 --> 00:24:38,324
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
494
00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:40,325
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
495
00:24:40,393 --> 00:24:42,491
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
496
00:24:42,559 --> 00:24:44,724
♪ welcome back ♪
497
00:24:44,794 --> 00:24:49,024
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
498
00:24:49,093 --> 00:24:51,592
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
499
00:24:51,661 --> 00:24:54,058
♪ welcome back ♪
500
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:57,826
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪
501
00:24:57,894 --> 00:25:00,158
♪ welcome back ♪
502
00:25:00,227 --> 00:25:02,559
♪ and I smile when I think
503
00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:04,592
How you must've been ♪♪
36646
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