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1
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♪ come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625
♪ come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
4
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,296
♪ we've been waiting for you ♪
5
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,931
♪ where the kisses are
Hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,201
♪ three's company too ♪
7
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,203
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,205
♪ come and dance on our floor ♪
9
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,041
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
- ♪ take a step that is new ♪
10
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:34,144
♪ we've a lovable space
That needs your face ♪
11
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,047
♪ three's company too ♪
12
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,916
♪ you'll see that
Life is a ball again ♪
13
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,353
♪ laughter is calling for you ♪
14
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,456
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
- ♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
15
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,147
♪ three's company too ♪
16
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,448
♪ down at our rendezvous ♪
17
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,204
♪ three's company too. ♪
18
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,533
Alright. Oh.
19
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,793
Fine. All right.
20
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:12,208
Coming!
21
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,811
Hi, jack, what do you say we...
22
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,813
You're not jack.
23
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,316
I'm grateful for small favors.
24
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,651
- there's nobody here.
- oh.
25
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,742
Well, I'll wait.
26
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,224
- larry, I got things to do.
- don't let me bother you.
27
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,215
Just finish taking your shower.
28
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,615
- larry...
- mm?
29
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,385
Will you answer the door?
30
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:58,087
- you want me
To answer the door?
- will you answer the door?
31
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,345
Sure. Why didn't you
Say so in the first place?
32
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:10,066
Hey, larry! I'm glad to see you.
I've got something to tell you.
33
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,235
What do you say? You
Want to hit a movie later?
34
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,338
No, not tonight. You
Will never believe this.
35
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,275
I got myself a date
With samantha evans!
36
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,110
No, jack, you don't have a
Date with samantha evans.
37
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,680
I knew you wouldn't believe
It. She's coming tonight
38
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,682
- for a home-cooked meal.
- jack...
39
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,185
Oh, larry, when I think of those
Lips and those great long legs.
40
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,554
- jack, roper happens...
- and you should see those...
41
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,356
Shoulders.
42
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,620
They're the widest shoulders
I've ever seen on a guy. Hi, mr. Roper.
43
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:40,997
Jack, why do you try
To hide things from me?
44
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:45,424
- what do you mean?
- I mean, your garbage disposal
Is broken too.
45
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,808
- why didn't you
Tell me he was here?
- what do you think...
46
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,143
Anyway, samantha's
Looking for an honest guy.
47
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,547
- she caught her last boyfriend
With another girl.
- all right!
48
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,118
- larry, will you get that?
- oh, sure.
49
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,342
No, the phone! The phone!
50
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,026
Yellow! No, this is larry.
51
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,828
Yeah, sure, he's...
52
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,664
He seems to be tied
Up at the moment.
53
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,799
Huh? Yeah, I'll see
If I can reach him.
54
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:20,169
Who's that? Who's that?
55
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,304
- it's linda.
- say what?
56
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,973
- say again.
- what is that?
57
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:24,546
It's linda.
58
00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:26,509
Will you cut that out?
Who's on the phone?
59
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,278
Linda. Wants to know what time
You're picking her up tonight.
60
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:31,414
Oh god, I forgot.
61
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,683
- I forgot we had a date.
- tonight?
62
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,052
What am I going to do?
63
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,021
- let me handle it.
- what about...
64
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:42,124
Take the pho...
Hey, linda. Bad news.
65
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:44,360
- jack has a terrible cold.
- come on.
66
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:47,396
Came out of nowhere.
Yeah, I'd let you talk to him,
67
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,566
But he just doesn't
Have the strength.
68
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,769
A terrible cold? I can't
Lie to linda like that!
69
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,438
You're right. Just give
Me samantha's address.
70
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,007
I'd be happy to
Pinch it for you.
71
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,109
Hello, linda?
72
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,045
Yeah, did larry tell you?
73
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:06,182
I'm sorry, I can't make our
Date tonight, sweetheart.
74
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:09,385
Yeah, I'll call you when
I'm better, baby doll.
75
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:12,243
Okay, I have to go now, lover.
76
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,947
Bye, ralph.
77
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:23,265
I... I had to break
A date. I'm sick.
78
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,501
You said it. Not me.
79
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:29,171
No, no, I mean I have a cold.
80
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:31,173
See?
81
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,342
- you got what? Stay away from me.
- it's a cold.
82
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,045
Get away from me!
83
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,337
Jack! You're full of germs!
84
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:48,146
Did you see that?
85
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,063
Helen...
86
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:58,034
- helen,
I'm in bad shape.
- stanley, do me a favor.
87
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:01,459
Don't make excuses
Till I make demands.
88
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,944
Helen, you don't understand.
89
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,079
Jack's very sick, and I
Got my cold from him.
90
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,815
- my head hurts,
My throat hurts.
- but stanley,
91
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,718
You promised to
Take me out tonight!
92
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:18,043
I thought we were going to
Go out and have a good time!
93
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,940
How can I think about having a
Good time when I want to go to bed?
94
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,451
You're right. That
Was foolish of me.
95
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:33,036
Get me some aspirin and
A thermometer, please.
96
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,004
You're not even warm!
97
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:38,007
Of course not. I'm
Cold, I got the chills.
98
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,043
Okay, stanley, but you remember,
99
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,945
The minute you get
Well, we're going out.
100
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,614
Okay, okay, okay.
Just get me the aspirin.
101
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:50,041
- do you want me
Shivering in bed all night?
- at least you'd be moving.
102
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,633
Boy oh boy chrissy. Really?
103
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,670
Yeah, the nerve of that
Guy! First he makes a date,
104
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:11,040
And then he asks me to wear the
Short shorts I wore to the office picnic.
105
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,809
What did you tell him?
106
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,144
I said I'm not going
Out with any guy
107
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,836
Who's only interested
In me for my clothes!
108
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,251
Good for you.
109
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,520
But that wasn't it. He
Said he'd go out with me
110
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,956
If I didn't wear
Anything at all!
111
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,291
- I hope you told him off!
- I certainly will.
112
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,949
He's picking me up at 7:00.
113
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,765
- hey, jack!
- I'm busy with my chicken.
114
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,800
Listen, I want to
Talk to you girls.
115
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,669
Chrissy: I can't,
Jack, I've got a date.
116
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:43,572
Janet: chrissy, would you get
That? I got to find my glasses.
117
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,909
I have to go back to the shop, jack.
We're checking inventory tonight.
118
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,411
- you're both going out?
- yeah.
119
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:51,114
What a shame.
120
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,450
- hi, mrs. Roper.
- chrissy...
121
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,553
I'm sorry to bother you.
122
00:07:56,577 --> 00:08:00,144
No bother. Come on in.
123
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,793
- hi, mrs. Roper.
- hi, janet.
124
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,263
Listen, I was just wondering
If you had a thermometer
125
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,266
- I could borrow.
- I think jack has one.
126
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,268
He's in the kitchen.
I'll go ask him.
127
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,370
He's in the kitchen
With his cold?
128
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,294
No, with his chicken.
129
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,877
Chrissy, I think the
Thermometer's in the bath...
130
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,046
Why are we all whispering?
131
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,514
Because jack is so sick!
132
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,951
- what?
- I thought sure
He'd be in bed.
133
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:31,054
Stanley says it's
Walking pneumonia!
134
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,877
- what?
- what?
135
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:38,260
Why aren't you in bed?
136
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:41,152
It's easier to
Cook in the kitchen.
137
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,702
Come on, jack, you do
Not have to be a hero.
138
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,370
Yeah, mrs. Roper told us
All about your terrible cold.
139
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,339
- my cold?
- yes,
140
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:54,310
And chrissy and I will give
You an alcohol rub right away.
141
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,613
Oh, my cold?
142
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,481
You poor thing.
143
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:02,785
Oh janet, I'm so sick. It came
Upon me all of a sudden.
144
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,588
- jack!
- that settles it.
145
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:08,625
I'm gonna break my date and
Stay home with you tonight.
146
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,694
Oh that's so sweet.
You're gonna what?
147
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,997
Me too. Me too. We can't
Leave you alone like this.
148
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:17,500
- I'll go call my boss.
- no, I feel fine.
149
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,502
- you look terrible.
- thank you.
150
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,504
No, no, no...
151
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,707
I mean that I'm too sick to
Have people looking after me.
152
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,277
- that doesn't make any sense.
- of course it does.
153
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,279
I'm contagious
154
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,948
- see?
- jack!
155
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,816
If I give it to you,
You'll pass it back to me,
156
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,985
Then I'll give it to you.
We'll never get rid of it.
157
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,954
- what?
- all those things.
158
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:40,923
He does have a point.
159
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:45,662
Look, girls, you don't
Have to stay, you know.
160
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,064
I can take care of myself.
161
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,566
- well, are you sure?
- oh trust me.
162
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,203
Trust me. I'll just lie
Down and take it quietly.
163
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,172
- well...
- oh come on, girls,
164
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,841
I'll be better off all alone.
165
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,832
Aaa...
166
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,736
Tchoo.
167
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,985
You know, jack, I almost
Didn't go out with you.
168
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,921
- why?
- I was told you were
The kind of person
169
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,923
Who chased anything in skirts.
170
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,393
You know, I used to be that way.
171
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,929
But then I found out
There was more satisfaction
172
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,999
In a real, meaningful,
One-to-one relationship.
173
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,768
I'm really impressed.
174
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,137
You're such a gentleman.
175
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,696
You know, you haven't
Made a pass at me all evening.
176
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,683
Not that I didn't want you to,
177
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,820
- but this is
Our first date.
- yeah...
178
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:47,924
And even though we are
Living in more permissive times,
179
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,848
I...
180
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,820
- oh jack.
- samantha.
181
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:15,140
Jack, will you
Show me something?
182
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,078
Anything.
183
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:24,026
Where's your powder room?
184
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:26,763
Wouldn't we be more
Comfortable on the couch?
185
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:29,031
Oh you... Oh I'm... Oh
Excuse me, I thought...
186
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:32,924
It's... It's right in there.
187
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,928
- don't go away.
- I'll be right here.
188
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,689
Hi, chrissy. Chrissy!
189
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,058
- what are you doing here?
- I was worried about you.
190
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,828
- no, I'm fine.
- I made up my mind. I'm going to stay.
191
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,830
Chrissy, listen, I
Feel much better.
192
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,266
I'm in good hands. The
Doctor's here and everything.
193
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,601
- you made a house call?
- did you say something,
Jack?
194
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,937
Will you please leave?
195
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:11,674
Oh sure. I can see
You're in good hands.
196
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,058
- get out.
- so long, doc.
197
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,382
- who was that?
- oh...
198
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,551
That... That was...
199
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,421
That was someone
Collecting for the church.
200
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:29,391
- dressed like that?
- she gets more donations
That way.
201
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:33,095
- where were we?
- my glass is empty.
202
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,998
- first things first.
- I would do anything
203
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,134
For another glass of wine.
204
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,439
Like I said, first things first.
205
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,575
Oh jack. Listen, I told my boss
206
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,477
You needed me more than he did.
207
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,341
So get your clothes
Off and get into bed.
208
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:58,554
Jack, look, I will have
You feeling good in no time.
209
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,323
- now come on.
- janet, janet!
210
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,959
- hi.
- that's samantha.
211
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,651
- ow!
- she's a friend.
212
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,898
Oh. I'm sorry.
213
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:12,201
Hello, samantha.
I'm janet. I'm jack's...
214
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,570
Nurse! She's my nurse.
Thank you very much
215
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,806
For stopping by, nurse janet. I
Won't be needing my treatment tonight.
216
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:20,630
See you later. Good bye.
Keep healing the sick. Bye bye!
217
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:25,002
She's so dedicated.
218
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,540
So I see. Has her own
Key and everything.
219
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,055
You know, jack, maybe
I was wrong about you.
220
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:35,324
Oh no, samantha, no.
221
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,560
No, you weren't wrong.
222
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,629
Listen, it's just you and
Me, sam. It's just you and me.
223
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,132
Get the door, jack.
224
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,757
Save my place.
225
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,206
Hi.
226
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,675
- linda.
- jack.
227
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:56,133
Poor baby. Linda brought
You some nice chicken soup.
228
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:12,661
One to one, huh?
Meaningful relationship? Huh?
229
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,131
You're nothing but an overblown,
Egotistical, girl-crazed degenerate!
230
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,234
You're just like all
The rest, only worse!
231
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,157
You no-good, phony
Two-timing twerp!
232
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,967
Boy am I glad to see you!
233
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,851
- who was that?
- that?
234
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,443
That was the avon lady. They
Hate to take no for an answer.
235
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:45,327
- you said you had
A terrible cold.
- excuse me.
236
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,482
I have this terrible cold...
237
00:14:47,506 --> 00:14:48,731
Jack, I want the truth.
238
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:52,468
Okay, I was lying in bed, and this
Thing came through my window...
239
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,536
- it was a girl. I never saw...
- jack, look.
240
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,538
Jack...
241
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,741
I made this soup
With my own hands.
242
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,143
- with my own hands
I'll give it to you...
- thank you.
243
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,245
- right over the head!
- linda!
244
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,714
- talk!
- wait, promise me
You won't throw the soup.
245
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,417
- not if you tell the truth.
- okay.
246
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:12,321
- where do I start?
- start with your cold.
247
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,378
Okay.
248
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,094
I never had a cold.
249
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:21,463
- you mean, you lied?
- not exactly.
250
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,432
No, wait! Yes, I lied, I lied!
251
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,590
Now, tell me about
The avon lady.
252
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,440
Okay, she wasn't an avon lady.
253
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:34,109
- oh, another lie?
- a little one.
254
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,779
- who was she?
- okay...
255
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,848
That girl was janet's sister. She
Wanted to borrow a bible and I...
256
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,583
No, wait, wait, wait...
257
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,052
All right, all
Right. I'll tell you.
258
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:47,022
He name is samantha evans. I
Lied to you about being sick
259
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:48,979
So I could be with her tonight.
260
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:54,463
- that's it?
- that's it.
261
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,854
- very good.
- whew!
262
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,601
You said you weren't
Going to do that.
263
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,171
I lied.
264
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:32,189
She brought me
Some chicken soup.
265
00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:37,395
I think you were
Supposed to eat it.
266
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,898
I didn't have time.
267
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,106
I brought you back
Your thermometer.
268
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,954
Jack, you'd better get
Out of those wet things,
269
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:55,257
- you're going
To get sicker.
- mrs. Roper, I am not sick.
270
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,659
I never was sick.
271
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,196
But stanley says you are.
272
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:03,921
I only said I was sick to get
Out of a date, but it didn't work.
273
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:08,104
And you want to know something?
274
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:12,163
It isn't going to work
For stanley either!
275
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,116
Oh no.
276
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,886
Mmmm...
277
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:42,126
How's my little
Teddy bear tonight?
278
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,376
Not good, helen. Not good.
279
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,180
Stanley, suppose
You weren't sick.
280
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,714
- but I am.
- yeah, yeah.
281
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,118
But just suppose you weren't.
282
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:59,243
Where would you
Be taking me tonight?
283
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:03,091
If I wasn't sick?
284
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:06,362
Well, you know that french
Restaurant you're always talking about?
285
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,064
Oh, but that's so expensive!
286
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,789
Oh well... What the hell?
287
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,103
And afterwards, stanley?
288
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,539
Where would we be
Going afterwards?
289
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,643
I'd take you to some fancy
Place for a few drinks...
290
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,979
- and dancing.
- dancing? You?
291
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,748
And you.
292
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,384
Both of us. Together.
293
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:33,255
Oh stanley, we're gonna have
Such a wonderful time tonight!
294
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,824
You mean, we would
Have had a wonderful time.
295
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:39,495
I mean we're going to.
296
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,697
I just talked to jack.
297
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,999
He lied about having a cold.
298
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:46,802
He's perfectly healthy.
299
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,804
So?
300
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:52,675
So, that means that you're
Perfectly healthy too!
301
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,610
So?
302
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:58,247
So, you have a choice, stanley.
303
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,549
You either put on these pants
304
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,185
And we go out and have fun,
305
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:07,411
Or leave them off and
We'll stay home and have fun.
306
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,635
- jack?
- huh?
307
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,504
That was a rotten thing to do.
308
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,872
Yeah, rotten.
309
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,874
Stop pretending you have a cold.
310
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:29,778
- but I'm really
Sick now, honest.
- oh sure.
311
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,714
Look, I've got to soak my feet.
312
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,649
Wait a minute. Jack, look,
313
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,051
Why didn't you tell us the
Truth in the first place?
314
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,253
Yeah, and in the
Second place too!
315
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:41,823
I didn't want you to
Think I was a creep.
316
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,660
- that's why.
- but you are a creep.
317
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,818
I know. I just didn't
Want you to think it.
318
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,925
Don't I get a "God bless you"?
319
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,906
- god bless you...
- thank you.
320
00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,141
You liar.
321
00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:03,579
It's all larry's fault. He's the
One who made up that phony story.
322
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,881
- I never have
Thought of it.
- oh come on, jack.
323
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,116
You know, janet, he has a point.
324
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,218
I mean, it's
Larry's lie, not his.
325
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:13,221
- jack's just
The one who told it.
- that's right.
326
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:16,392
Next time I see that larry,
I'm gonna tell him off!
327
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,326
I bet you will. Just
The way you have
328
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:20,328
All the other times
You've been mad at him,
329
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:23,565
When you end up saying, "Larry,
You're the best friend I ever had."
330
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:26,534
- no, not this time. This time im really...
- oh jack, come off it.
331
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,742
I've heard all this
Before. I'm going to bed.
332
00:20:28,766 --> 00:20:29,471
Yeah, me too.
333
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:32,373
- I'm gonna soak my feet.
- you'd be better off
Soaking your head.
334
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:36,211
"You'd be better off
Soaking your head."
335
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,521
- hi, pal!
- you... You... Don't you
"Hi, pal" me, pal,
336
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,957
- I got something
I want to say to you.
- whoa, hold it.
337
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,341
I brought someone I thought
You might want to see.
338
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,831
- hi, jack,
May we come in?
- huh... Well,
339
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,366
- if you...
- I ran into the little lady
340
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:01,937
Down at the regal beagle.
Seemed she was pretty upset.
341
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,339
So, we talked and...
342
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,631
Well, it seems there was
Some sort of misunderstanding.
343
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:12,447
Jack, larry told me all you
Went through to go out with me,
344
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:15,984
- and I'm really flattered.
- oh, it was nothing.
345
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,742
You must think I'm
Really something special.
346
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,990
Yeah.
347
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:26,461
Well, I'll just leave you
Two lovebirds alone, huh?
348
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,967
Oh, jack, what was it
You wanted to say to me?
349
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,769
Excuse me.
350
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,860
Larry, you're the
Best friend I ever had!
351
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:41,364
I mean it, pal. I
Really mean it.
352
00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:45,469
Thanks, pal.
353
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:57,258
Samantha... I don't
Know what to say.
354
00:21:57,282 --> 00:21:59,260
Excuse me.
355
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,262
Poor you. You
Really do have a cold.
356
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:07,825
Oh, you just let
Samantha take care of you.
357
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:12,173
I'll put you to
Bed and tuck you in
358
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:14,209
And make you feel
Very very good.
359
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:16,100
Jack, do you need any...
360
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,981
Oh, I... Oh.
361
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,517
Is there any of that
Chicken left? Oh.
362
00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:24,252
I... Oh.
363
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:26,376
- that's what I said.
- oh.
364
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,093
Wha... Don't keep
Him up too late.
365
00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:34,351
- yeah, we don't want him
To get too tired.
- chrissy!
366
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,080
- now where were we?
- you...
367
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:54,119
You were going to tuck
Me in. Samantha, listen...
368
00:22:54,143 --> 00:22:54,383
You!
369
00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:56,284
- don't touch me!
- sorry, I won't.
370
00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:58,420
Don't talk to me!
Don't look at me!
371
00:22:58,444 --> 00:23:02,413
Don't think of
Me! Just... Don't!
372
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:06,995
I guess I won't.
373
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:10,588
Ow!
374
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:23,378
Good morning, girls!
Isn't it a beautiful day?
375
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:26,414
The sun is shining,
The birds are singing,
376
00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:29,050
And my cold is completely gone.
377
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,819
That's wonderful news.
378
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:34,756
Yeah, I never heard
Anything funnier.
379
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:38,360
You both got my cold?
380
00:23:38,384 --> 00:23:41,752
Oh, you poor babies!
381
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:46,368
Listen, don't move. I will
Take care of everything.
382
00:23:46,392 --> 00:23:48,169
How?
383
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:51,172
- it's an oldeskimo remedy.
- huh?
384
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:53,976
I said, it's an old
Eskimo remedy.
385
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,112
The healthy person sits in
Between the two sick people
386
00:23:57,136 --> 00:24:00,070
- and they cover themselves
With a blanket - wait.
387
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:03,885
- there we go.
- oh jack.
388
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:06,121
- this is silly.
- no, this is serious.
389
00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:09,491
Then they sit as close
Together as they possibly can.
390
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:11,927
Get closer. That's it.
A little closer, janet.
391
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:13,929
- okay.
- that's it.
392
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:16,665
That's perfect. Now
We stay this way.
393
00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:19,735
- for how long?
- all night.
394
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,236
- all night?
- mm-hmm.
395
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,973
And remember, in eskimo
Land, that's six months long.
396
00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:27,765
Party time! Whoo-ho!
397
00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:52,968
Ritter's voice: "Three's
Company" was videotaped
398
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,992
in front of a studio audience.
30303
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