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1
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,534
But I need you.
2
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,710
I don't believe you.
Prove it to me.
3
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,929
Please, I can't do this
without you.
4
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,975
What is the word
on the street these days
5
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,933
about herringbone?
6
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,762
Not now, Dad.
It's all right,
all right.
7
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,678
I've got some options
in the downstairs closet here.
8
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,332
I can't do this alone.
9
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,074
So tell me, are you in
or are you out?
10
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,510
Because if I
walk out that door...
11
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,686
Is houndstooth too whimsical?
12
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,038
Please, Dad.
13
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,693
Because if I walk out that door
and you follow me,
14
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,261
maybe...
15
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:45,654
we'll start a movement.
16
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,355
I want to love it. I do.
I-I do, we ju... I'm just...
17
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:54,793
- I'm not buying you in the role.
- Oh, what do you know? You...
18
00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,926
You're judging me
on an acting scale
19
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,884
of one to Backdraft.
20
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,147
Backdraft is
a cinematic masterpiece.
21
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:01,974
No, Backdraft is fire porn.
22
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:04,716
Now, I know
what you two are thinking:
23
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:08,068
"here comes the Harvard lecturer
in his hackneyed tweed."
24
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:12,333
No, but I was thinking,
"How long is it gonna
25
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,422
take my dad to mention
he's teaching at Harvard?"
26
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,511
Under a minute. It's impressive.
27
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,818
So, just a bit longer than
you actually attended Harvard?
28
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,822
So, mock me if you will,
but this is the beginning
29
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,476
of a new academic era for me.
30
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,783
Frasier Crane is stepping
into a world where he can
31
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,742
impart wisdom
and influence young minds.
Okay, Dad,
32
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:33,354
no one loves hearing
Frasier Crane talk about
33
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,007
Frasier Crane more than I do,
34
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,532
- but Eve's got
a big audition this week.
- Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,751
It's a play about a girl
who works at a slaughterhouse
36
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,884
and she convinces her coworkers
to unionize
37
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:45,192
through passion, grit
and a push-up bra.
38
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:47,324
Well, if the dialogue
I overheard was any indication,
39
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:49,413
then the cows
are the lucky ones.
40
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,329
Dad, could you just...
41
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:53,983
could you give us
a little peace and quiet?
42
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,680
Oh, I'm sorry, yes,
if only Eve had a place
43
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,291
where she could be on her own.
44
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,293
Perhaps someplace that
I've already paid for,
45
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,121
just directly across the hall.
46
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,905
Oh, wait,
47
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:04,472
aren't you late for the
boarding school where you teach
48
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:07,083
unruly adolescents
the true meaning of poetry?
49
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:11,696
I'll have you know
tweed's sophisticated wool
50
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:14,699
and sensible elbow patches
are emblematic
51
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,049
of the intellect
and compassion it takes
52
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,834
to inspire young minds.
53
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,141
Are we twinsies?
54
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,621
I'll change.
55
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,017
Don't you have class right now?
56
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,671
I'm here to take your father
under my wing
57
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,586
and help him navigate
his first week at Harvard.
58
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,023
I'll be the Sancho Panza
to your Quixote.
59
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,329
All right, David.
60
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:37,592
You know, I know
my way around Harvard.
61
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:39,246
After all,
I did go to school there.
62
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,204
Wait, you did?
'Cause I don't think
63
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,727
you've ever
told us that story before.
64
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,991
See, now, that's good acting.
65
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,828
Well, if it isn't world-renowned
psychiatrist, TV personality
66
00:02:56,828 --> 00:03:00,528
and newly minted Harvard
educator Dr. Frasier Crane.
67
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:03,705
Please, we're friends.
Just call me world-renowned.
68
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,577
And to what
do I owe the pleasure?
69
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:07,839
Oh, as I told Alan, I came here
70
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,319
to christen my newest ship.
71
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,365
And I thought that meant
there'd be champagne.
72
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,497
So I brought you a cappuccino.
73
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,891
You can imagine
my disappointment.
74
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,371
Welcome aboard.
75
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,024
It's been years
since I've had anyone here
76
00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:22,114
with any passion, excitement
or even vital signs.
77
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,293
- I-I also brought you this.
- Oh.
78
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,992
Oh, a replica "thinking cap"
from my old talk show.
79
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:32,864
How fun.
80
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,693
Oh, he students will go nuts
if you break it out for them.
81
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:38,000
Yes, well, you know,
I've put all that behind me.
82
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,610
Gone are the days
when I would dole out
83
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,438
ridiculous advice
to my TV audience.
84
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:44,311
Sure, sure.
You-you don't have to use it.
85
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:46,356
It's custom made,
overnight shipping.
86
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,706
The point is,
we're so glad you're here.
87
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:51,056
Glad?
Thanks to your popularity,
88
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,928
hardly any students
have signed up for my class,
89
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,277
so I'm ecstatic.
90
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,374
Look around, uncle.
91
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,550
You are the rosy-cheeked
debutante at
92
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,899
this ball of the brains.
93
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,292
I am the strapping,
young cadet...
94
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,337
- Go sit down, David.
- Okay.
95
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:16,995
Welcome to
a History of Psychology.
96
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,520
In this semester, I will be
your Virgil, leading you
97
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,522
not through the circles of Hades
but through the...
98
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,524
Excuse me.
I have a question.
99
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,177
Oh, well, I can ramp back into
100
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,092
my Virgil speech in a moment.
Uh, yes?
101
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:30,139
I think my boyfriend
might be cheating on me.
102
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,184
Should I confront him?
103
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,579
Well, I...
I am sorry to hear that,
104
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,755
but, uh, this is not
my old TV show.
105
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:40,976
I'm not giving out any
personal advice. Uh... Yes?
106
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:43,457
I have your first
call-in question.
107
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:46,024
She's from Phoenix, Arizona.
She's my mom.
108
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,026
She wants to know
if you're as handsome in person
109
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,637
as you were on TV.
110
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:54,163
That is not for me to say.
111
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,948
People magazine said,
"Yes, absolutely," but...
112
00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:58,341
we're getting off track.
Now, now,
113
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,517
to our-our first lecture.
114
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,345
What made
115
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:05,348
Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt tick?
116
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,437
Hmm?
Our story begins
117
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,439
in Mannheim, Germany. Uncle,
118
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,354
this guy's not taking notes.
He's Googling you.
119
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:14,139
Stop searching
"Frasier Crane height."
120
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,924
It's all right, David.
121
00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,317
No, it's not okay.
122
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,579
Why does he need to know
your net worth?
123
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,276
A man's true value
has always be...
124
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:22,365
Oh, my God, uncle,
you're like a Rockefeller.
125
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:27,239
Kind of makes your Christmas
gifts seem ungenerous.
126
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,678
All right, all right.
That's enough, that's enough!
127
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:33,376
I'd like to make one thing
absolutely clear.
128
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,987
This class will have
nothing to do with my career,
129
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:38,120
my public life
or my old TV show.
130
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,515
I am here to lead you on
a challenging academic odyssey.
131
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:44,692
And if you are here
for any other reason...
132
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,782
...then I invite you
to leave now.
133
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,189
Great.
134
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,585
Well, we've
135
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,544
separated the
wheat from the chaff.
136
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,328
Now...
137
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,331
...are there any
serious questions?
138
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,640
I'm six foot, one.
139
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,383
Tried to finish the lecture.
140
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,167
As I continued to talk,
their eyes
141
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,517
just started to glaze over
as if they weren't even...
142
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,480
Alan.
143
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,439
- Alan!
- Mm?
144
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,267
Yeah, I'm glad
it went so smoothly.
145
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:41,009
- Another triumph.
- No. No.
146
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,576
I failed.
147
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:44,708
I wanted them to take me
seriously as a professor,
148
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,450
and they rejected me, completely.
149
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:51,280
If you would just stop trying,
I promise you will stop failing.
150
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:56,590
Dr. Crane, I just left
the registrar's office.
151
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,592
Eight students withdrew
from your class today.
152
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,158
Olivia, please.
153
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:01,943
Frasier's taking this
hard enough as it is.
154
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,597
Most of them then signed up
for your class.
155
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,425
Damn it, Frasier,
get your act together!
156
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,253
What happened?
157
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,864
I thought you'd be
natural at teaching.
158
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:12,170
You have decades of experience
in TV and radio.
159
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,042
But that's not teaching.
That's entertainment.
160
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,522
I'm not a dancing bear.
161
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:18,089
Oh, no one thinks of you
as a dancing bear.
162
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,483
But universities have changed
since you were a student here
163
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:23,138
for... thir... twe... for...
several decades ago.
164
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,621
Students today
need a little showmanship.
165
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,057
That's where you come in.
166
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:32,234
You make the hard ideas
go down easy.
167
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,368
So, I'm the cheese
wrapped around a dog's pill?
168
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,632
Yes, you get it.
169
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,460
Now, if you could just see
170
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,985
how enthusiastically
the students would react
171
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,291
to just a little glimpse
of the old you,
172
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,902
I know you would
change your mind.
173
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,120
I'm not changing my mind.
174
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,341
Okay, but we still
need you to succeed.
175
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,038
We are paying you
a lot of money.
176
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,431
You're paying me almost nothing.
177
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,477
Which is a lot of money
in academia.
178
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,523
It is all about the numbers.
179
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,090
And if you do not bring more
students into this department,
180
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,526
well, then the numbers
are not good.
181
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,962
What do you suggest?
182
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,270
Uh, well,
this is a new career for you,
183
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,490
so maybe you would benefit
from some seasoned help.
184
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,667
- That sounds reasonable.
- That's perceptive.
- Mm-hmm.
185
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,538
So, until you get your sea legs,
186
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:17,192
why don't you co-teach
your classes with Alan?
187
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,846
- Well, that's ridiculous.
- What is wrong with you?
188
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,804
My goodness.
189
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,111
Alan is-is lazy.
190
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,982
He doesn't even finish
anything he starts.
191
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,854
And Frasier is...
192
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,159
Eh.
193
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:36,167
What do you say, Alan--
is it worth a try?
194
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,821
Well...
195
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,302
Please, Alan,
help me help Dr. Crane help
196
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:43,000
the next generation of people
who will help other people.
197
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,656
Sounds like a Ponzi scheme
of benevolence.
198
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,180
Are you really saying
199
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,792
I should take on extra work
without extra pay?
200
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,490
I am saying that you should help
your oldest and dearest friend.
201
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,145
Without extra pay.
202
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,757
You can bring your cat
back to the office.
203
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,891
Fine, I'll do it.
204
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,545
Anything for a dear friend.
205
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,808
You're talking about your cat?
206
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,114
Well, who do you think
I was talking about?
207
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,295
You in a hurry to get home
to get your cat?
208
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,559
No, no, that would be silly.
209
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,734
Frasier Crane,
210
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,649
meet Margaret Scratcher.
211
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,785
Now, if I may,
212
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,614
what's so offensive
about being a dancing bear?
213
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:35,183
You're a natural showman.
Why not use that talent?
214
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,401
I don't want to be
a showman anymore.
215
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:38,273
I want to make an impact.
216
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,188
Well, didn't you make an impact
on your television program?
217
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,755
Well, it's debatable.
218
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,670
But then again, you know that.
You saw it.
219
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,239
You did see my show, didn't you?
220
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,632
Of course.
221
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,547
B... Bits and pieces.
222
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,376
I may have missed it.
223
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,465
It was on for 14 years.
224
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:59,642
Here, let me show you.
225
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,778
Perhaps the real reason
you have not yet asked
226
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:07,607
your daughter to forgive you
227
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,044
is that you have not yet
forgiven yourself.
228
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:25,189
Well, this is all
rather insightful.
229
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,105
That was season one.
230
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,629
Here's a clip from...
231
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,806
...season 13.
232
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:35,678
♪ Dr. Crane ♪
233
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:38,072
♪ He can fix your brain ♪
234
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:41,075
♪ Keep from going insane
and take away the pain ♪
235
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:43,555
♪ Yeah, it's Doctor,
Dr. Crane.♪
236
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,601
Oh, Doctor!
237
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,181
How about that audience,
huh, Gilbert?
238
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,662
Lovely, lovely, lovely!
239
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,707
Welcome!
240
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,753
Today on our show,
I will be delving
241
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:10,147
into the mind of the world's
smartest pig,
242
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:12,062
Albert Swinestein!
243
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,718
Then, we'll unveil this week's
244
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:19,026
Frasier's Fra-vorite Things.
245
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,246
And Tom Arnold is here!
246
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,817
But first, let's put on...
247
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:30,820
...our thinking caps.
248
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:39,611
I see now why you may have felt
249
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,831
that you'd lost your way.
250
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,354
At one point...
251
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,617
...I hawked a tinted moisturizer
252
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:48,272
with the tagline...
253
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,970
"I'm glistening."
254
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,148
And that's why I quit.
255
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:57,238
My show had devolved
into meaningless fluff.
256
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:59,327
My greatest nightmare is that
257
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,242
that will be my whole legacy.
258
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:04,767
Are you sure this isn't less
about how people will see you
259
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,030
and more about
how you see yourself?
260
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,293
Don't you diagnose me
with your projection.
261
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,252
It's merely a suggestion
of projection.
262
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:13,471
I have an objection
to your projection suggestion.
263
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:16,039
And I question your rejection
of my projection suggestion.
264
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,652
But if you're intent on
avoiding the razzle-dazzle,
265
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,351
then we'll have to win over
your class with substance.
266
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:26,876
And I think I know the very
substance we should start with.
267
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:29,226
Substance-- you're talking
about a drink, aren't you?
268
00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:31,359
Oh, you mean a book.
269
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,578
How about that?
270
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:35,319
Ah, I was right the first time.
271
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:43,110
Oh, hi. How are you feeling
about your second class?
272
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,068
Better.
Alan and I dug deep last night
273
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,853
and came up with some things
I think you're really...
274
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:50,030
That's fantastic.
Uh, so I sent Alan in already
275
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,901
and, you know,
I hope it's okay--
276
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,555
I futzed with the lighting
a little bit
277
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:55,600
and I made a few other
little changes
278
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,515
just to help you feel more
at home. You'll barely notice.
279
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,169
Thank you. You're really
taking good care of me.
280
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:01,171
Anything for my
"fra-vorite" teacher.
281
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,827
Did you say "fra-vorite"?
282
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,481
No.
283
00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,788
Oh, just one more thing.
284
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,833
These doors are broken
or whatever.
285
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:14,358
If you wouldn't mind
using the, uh, top entrance,
286
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:15,795
just going around?
287
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,231
Okay.
288
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:27,415
♪ Dr. Crane,
he can fix your brain ♪
289
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,634
♪ Keep from going insane... ♪
290
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:31,593
It's my greatest nightmare!
291
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:33,464
Oh, Doctor!
292
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,037
Dr. Crane, where are you going?
You have class.
293
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,560
Well, that makes one of us.
294
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,390
You tricked me.
295
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:49,002
No. No, no, no, no.
I tricked you and Alan.
296
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:52,005
He had no idea
I had that planned.
297
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,658
And I was hoping that
once you saw how excited
298
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:56,009
the students were,
you would embrace the old you.
299
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:58,489
You want the dancing bear,
don't you?
300
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:01,144
No. What I want is a healthy
learning environment
301
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,667
- for my...
- You want the dancing bear!
302
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,278
Of course I want
the dancing bear!
303
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,454
Why do you think I hired you--
304
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,325
for your negligible
teaching experience?
305
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,719
For the zero academic papers
that you've written?
306
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,242
No.
307
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,201
Because you are a big,
beautiful dancing bear
308
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:17,421
in a pink tutu that the students
will actually pay attention to.
309
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,337
That is why you are here.
310
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:22,687
So dance, bear, dance!
311
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,734
I refuse!
312
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,388
I walked out of this job once
before and I'll do it again!
313
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,390
Oh, no, Dr. Crane,
please, please.
314
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,870
I put myself
on the line for you.
315
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,697
The numbers are bad.
If you quit now,
316
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,482
well, the numbers--
they're going to get worse.
317
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,658
What are these numbers
you keep talking about?
318
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,182
They're numbers.
And they're bad.
319
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,141
This is Harvard!
320
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,230
- For God's sake,
Harvard's endowment alone
- You see, the big numbers
321
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,709
- could power a small country
- are little
and the little numbers
322
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:45,754
- for centuries!
- should be big... Okay,
323
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:46,668
it's not about the numbers,
324
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:47,364
it's about my sister!
325
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,236
All my life,
326
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,368
she's been just
a little more popular,
327
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:52,804
a little more successful.
328
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:56,069
I don't know
if-if you've ever dealt
329
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,245
with a-a sibling
with whom you have
330
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:01,509
a very intense
and competitive relationship.
331
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,169
I am familiar with the dynamic.
332
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,172
I need your star power
333
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,826
to finally beat my sister.
334
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:17,655
She just made provost at Yale. Yale,
335
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,920
- Frasier, Yale!
- Don't you "Yale" at me!
336
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,056
Okay, one more time.
337
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,232
Can we take a break?
I'm exhausted.
338
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,973
The last time I pushed
myself this hard,
339
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,670
John popped out.
340
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,672
You got to use it, okay?
341
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,152
Y-You're supposed to be
at the end of your rope
342
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,458
in this scene, right?
You got-you got to sound
343
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,895
beaten down, pathetic,
344
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:41,636
self-pitying, like no one
345
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:44,334
on the face of the planet
believes in you.
346
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:45,683
Do you have an example?
347
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,738
Am I...
348
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,480
destined to be a failure?
349
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,049
One by one,
they've attached strings
350
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,790
to my wrists and to my knees.
351
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:08,402
I've been turned into a puppet.
352
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,013
To dance at their behest.
353
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,754
And once I've outlived
my usefulness,
354
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,538
it's back in the box I go.
355
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:20,022
Yeah.
So, that, but likable.
356
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,371
I don't know.
I feel like the energy
357
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,765
needs to be quirky and angrier.
358
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,027
What?
What would that even look like?
359
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:28,596
My ire is peaked.
360
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,209
They booby-trapped you
in your own charisma.
361
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:37,039
How dare they debase you
by forcing you to do
362
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:41,043
the very thing you did
by choice for 15 years?
363
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,002
I'm sorry, what is this about?
364
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,220
- Allow me.
- Sit down, David.
365
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,526
Okay.
366
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:50,879
Things aren't working out
at Harvard.
367
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,141
I'm thinking of leaving.
368
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,796
Wow.
369
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:57,755
Really?
370
00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,583
Oh, sorry, Dad,
371
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:02,064
just so I have this
100% crystal clear--
372
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,980
you're thinking
of dropping out...
373
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,423
...of Harvard?
374
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,687
I...
Dad,
375
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:19,560
do you think you gave Harvard
enough of a chance?
376
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,911
You're just so bright, Dad. I...
377
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,696
I'd hate to see you waste
that kind of potential.
378
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:29,483
Are you having trouble
making friends?
379
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:33,008
Tell you what--
why not take a gap year?
380
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,488
You know,
take a little time to...
381
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,185
to think things over,
'cause, you know,
382
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:37,578
I'm just worried about
383
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,796
how this is gonna affect
384
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:41,625
the rest of your life.
385
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,019
What am I supposed
to tell my friends?!
386
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,330
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
387
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:54,464
Are you high on drugs?
388
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:01,080
Very funny.
Very droll.
389
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,995
You quite finished?
390
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,823
No, Dad, I'm just kidding.
391
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,825
No one gets it more than I do.
Harvard's not for everyone.
392
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:10,654
- It's-it's okay to give up.
- I'm not giving up.
393
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,353
- No, I'm just saying there's
no shame in being a quitter.
- I'm not a quitter.
394
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:17,096
Well, you quit your radio show,
you quit your TV show.
395
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,749
Didn't you and Uncle Niles
once have a restaurant
396
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,882
you quit after, like, one day?
397
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,495
I'm not quitting, I just...
398
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,062
I can't seem to figure out
399
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,325
how to get my students
to take me seriously.
400
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:31,893
You know, the character
I'm auditioning for--
401
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:34,069
nobody takes her
seriously, either.
402
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,679
Nobody except for Julius,
403
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,378
the partially-blind
night shift custodian.
404
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,597
And the way he talks about her
405
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:43,687
allows others to see her
for the leader that she is,
406
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:47,126
right up until he falls into
the industrial meat grinder.
407
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,652
So...
408
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:55,046
if I could find my Julius--
409
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,918
one student with whom
I could engage
410
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:58,224
in an inspiring conversation
411
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,616
and thereby win over
the entire class.
412
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:04,099
And I bet I know
just the Julius I need.
413
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:08,190
I bet you do.
414
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,197
After that brief
hiccup yesterday,
415
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,721
I think it's time
we got back on track.
416
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:19,723
Uh, but first,
does anyone have a question?
417
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:21,247
I have a question.
418
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,379
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
419
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,642
Ah, yes, the young lady
in the back there.
420
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:28,254
Yes, I have prepared a question
for you, Dr. Crane.
421
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,040
Oh, wonderful.
Well, I'm excited to hear that.
422
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,173
I'm your helper.
423
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,697
I'm... I'm your...
I'm your Sancho Panza.
424
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:39,526
It's about Hermann Ebbinghaus.
425
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,485
Oh, yes, Ebbinghaus.
Oh, very interesting.
426
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:45,488
You planned this without me.
You totally went over my head.
427
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:48,448
Yes, and as a serious academic,
428
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,972
could you tell me
what his whole deal was?
429
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,496
And, please,
no gimmicky showmanship.
430
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:57,196
Uh, excuse me... ma'am.
431
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,546
Ma'am?
I'm not a ma'am.
432
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:02,897
I'm a miss.
I'm a young, co-ed miss.
433
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,377
Well, I'm convinced.
434
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:07,510
Really? 'Cause you look like
an old mom.
435
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:10,165
If I look old, it's because
somebody made me wear
436
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:11,949
this stupid turtleneck.
437
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,951
Oh, now,
as Ebbinghaus once said...
438
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:15,649
Nobody is buying
439
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,304
- this little act.
- Oh, yeah? Show of hands--
440
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,001
who thinks I'm a student?
441
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,266
Oh... Well, she-she's not.
442
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:27,269
She's just a wannabe actress
who stole my moment.
443
00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:29,097
Wannabe?
444
00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:31,447
I have these dweebs
eating out of my hand.
445
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,275
You took advantage of him,
didn't you?
446
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:36,322
You took advantage
of this poor, gullible buffoon.
447
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:40,108
Or maybe I'm here because
he knew that you couldn't do it.
448
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,762
Well, go find your own uncle,
449
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:44,155
'cause this one's mine!
450
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:46,288
Fight, fight, fight, fight,
451
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,855
- fight, fight, fight,
- All right, all right.
452
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,291
- fight, fight, fight...
- Everyone, calm down.
453
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,162
She's only here
because my uncle pays
454
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:53,034
for an apartment
for her and her baby.
455
00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,906
All right, stop, stop!
456
00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:58,822
Everyone.
457
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,130
I think it's time...
458
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:05,307
we put on our
459
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:07,266
- thinking caps.
- Thinking caps!
460
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,542
Sounds like
your class went well.
461
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:25,762
I was teaching next door
and the applause woke me up.
462
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,766
Yes.
463
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,942
I had them eating
out of the palm of my hand.
464
00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:35,511
Did manage to squeeze in
465
00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:37,557
20 minutes about
Hermann Ebbinghaus
466
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:40,211
because of this silly hat,
467
00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,691
and a story I told them about
468
00:21:41,691 --> 00:21:44,607
Albert Swinestein's
quiz show scandal.
469
00:21:44,607 --> 00:21:46,653
So, why do you look so glum?
470
00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:49,830
Because this wasn't
who I wanted to be.
471
00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:51,919
Thirty years ago...
472
00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:54,617
I left Boston
with my tail between my legs.
473
00:21:55,879 --> 00:21:59,187
I had dreams
of returning, triumphant.
474
00:21:59,187 --> 00:22:01,015
Now those dreams
just keep slipping
475
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,495
farther and farther away.
476
00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:05,454
It's a rather fetching hat.
477
00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:07,195
May I have a look?
478
00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:10,416
Ow!
479
00:22:10,416 --> 00:22:11,634
What was that for?
480
00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:13,941
For being a baby.
481
00:22:13,941 --> 00:22:17,031
You're rich, you're famous,
your students love you.
482
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:20,034
For some reason, you smell
naturally of sandalwood.
483
00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:22,558
What more
could you possibly want?
484
00:22:22,558 --> 00:22:24,255
I wanted to make an impact.
485
00:22:24,255 --> 00:22:26,432
Wanted to realize
the potential I had
486
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,521
when I set out on this
career path 40 years ago.
487
00:22:29,609 --> 00:22:31,437
I see.
488
00:22:31,437 --> 00:22:34,744
That's a rather fetching belt.
Do you mind if I have a look?
489
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,921
Am I being that ridiculous?
490
00:22:37,921 --> 00:22:40,228
You got 18-year-olds
to listen to a lecture
491
00:22:40,228 --> 00:22:42,839
about Ebbinghaus for 20 minutes,
492
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:45,668
and all it took was a silly hat
and a story about a pig.
493
00:22:45,668 --> 00:22:47,583
Which, by the way,
I have to hear.
494
00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,587
♪ Dr. Crane. ♪
495
00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:53,546
Oh, it was marvelous!
496
00:22:53,546 --> 00:22:55,678
The students were raving.
You're a hit.
497
00:22:55,678 --> 00:22:59,682
Yes, Frasier was just
complaining about being beloved.
498
00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,555
Do you mind if
I take a look at this hat?
499
00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:05,949
Hmm.
500
00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:08,474
I have a little bit
of a confession.
501
00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:10,389
This thinking cap
wasn't shipped overnight.
502
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,392
I bought it years ago when
I came to see your show live.
503
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:16,264
You were a fan of the show?
504
00:23:16,264 --> 00:23:18,440
- Mm-hmm.
- You-you didn't mention that.
505
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,051
It's a little bit
embarrassing, but
506
00:23:21,051 --> 00:23:24,533
I even ran my local chapter
of the Frasier Crane Fan Club.
507
00:23:25,534 --> 00:23:27,275
You were a Craniac?
508
00:23:31,671 --> 00:23:35,196
Watching you lift up
and educate your viewers--
509
00:23:35,196 --> 00:23:37,633
that's why I decided
to get my PhD.
510
00:23:38,678 --> 00:23:40,767
So, my show
actually inspired you,
511
00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:42,246
despite all
the meaningless fluff?
512
00:23:42,246 --> 00:23:45,119
Because
of the meaningless fluff.
513
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,469
Well, that's what pulled me in
at first, anyway.
514
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:50,472
Thank God, because otherwise,
who knows where I would be?
515
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,909
Probably a head of department
516
00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:55,999
at some backwater
community college.
517
00:23:55,999 --> 00:23:57,697
Cornell.
518
00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:04,704
You know, maybe there's
nothing wrong
519
00:24:04,704 --> 00:24:08,142
with a little razzle-dazzle.
520
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:10,361
Just take that old
negative self-talk and...
521
00:24:10,361 --> 00:24:11,624
hiyah!
522
00:24:14,322 --> 00:24:16,150
Thank you.
523
00:24:16,150 --> 00:24:17,847
Thank you both.
524
00:24:17,847 --> 00:24:19,153
Mostly Olivia.
525
00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:25,638
This thinking cap of yours--
didn't I see it in your office
526
00:24:25,638 --> 00:24:27,509
with a price tag on it
last week?
527
00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:29,729
Oh, I may have embellished
528
00:24:29,729 --> 00:24:31,861
to get a very
sincere point across.
529
00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:34,168
Well done.
530
00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:35,691
Oh, and, uh,
531
00:24:35,691 --> 00:24:38,085
well done also on that, uh,
532
00:24:38,085 --> 00:24:40,174
pathetic Craniac thing
you made up.
533
00:24:40,174 --> 00:24:41,871
Mm-hmm.
534
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,049
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why were you in my office?
535
00:24:46,049 --> 00:24:49,052
Oh, looking for the cat.
By the way,
536
00:24:49,052 --> 00:24:52,926
your desktop Zen garden's
been compromised.
537
00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:54,797
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
538
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,502
Y'all know how this goes.
539
00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:07,114
♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-callin'♪
540
00:25:07,114 --> 00:25:10,596
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
541
00:25:12,336 --> 00:25:14,861
♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused ♪
542
00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:17,472
Yeah, maybe.
But I got you pegged.
543
00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:21,607
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
544
00:25:21,607 --> 00:25:25,654
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
545
00:25:27,613 --> 00:25:29,789
♪ Life's callin' again. ♪
546
00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:33,706
Back in Beantown.
547
00:25:33,706 --> 00:25:34,750
What is a boy to do?
38714
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