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1
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,605
Excuse me, young man,
Are you a student here?
2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,585
You know, the best thing
For a cough like that
3
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,276
Is to snuggle up
To a hot vaporizer?
4
00:00:12,344 --> 00:00:15,946
Of course, it'll take the
Grease out of your moustache.
5
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,317
Listen, this
Building's a school,
6
00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:21,330
And if you're a student,
You should be inside...
7
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:24,422
Unless you're a
Bench-warmer for a wino.
8
00:00:24,490 --> 00:00:26,256
Well, I'm gonna
Become a student,
9
00:00:26,325 --> 00:00:28,292
But I could be talked out of it.
10
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,205
Well, I'm gonna be
Your vice principal.
11
00:00:30,229 --> 00:00:31,474
My name is mr. Kotter.
12
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:32,908
Nice to meet you, mr. Kotter.
13
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:35,033
I'm beau de labarre,
I'm from new orleans.
14
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,278
De labarre, of course,
15
00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:37,780
I got your
Transcripts a week ago.
16
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,670
Where've you been?
17
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,872
You know, I love
That voice, sir.
18
00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:44,342
What a beautiful instrument.
19
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:47,478
Why, without even being told,
I can hear I'm in the presence
20
00:00:47,546 --> 00:00:52,650
Of the top dog, the
Big kahuna himself.
21
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,162
Listen, my friend, I
Think you better get
22
00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:55,498
Your big kahuna into school
23
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,633
Or you're gonna be in mucho
Trouble, you understand?
24
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:00,557
You take care of
That nasty cold.
25
00:01:00,626 --> 00:01:03,994
Oh, little darlings, can
I escort you into class?
26
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:09,000
Hey, I love that cough, sir.
27
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:12,035
That act is never gonna
Work in this school.
28
00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:17,975
♪
29
00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:26,450
♪ welcome back ♪
30
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:30,120
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
31
00:01:30,189 --> 00:01:32,422
♪ welcome back ♪
32
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:37,327
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
33
00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:39,363
♪ well the names
Have all changed
34
00:01:39,431 --> 00:01:41,632
Since you hung around ♪
35
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,901
♪ but those dreams have remained
36
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,970
And they've turned around ♪
37
00:01:46,038 --> 00:01:48,038
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
38
00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:50,073
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
39
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:52,042
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
40
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:54,278
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
41
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,280
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
42
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:58,449
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
43
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,685
♪ welcome back ♪
44
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:05,155
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
45
00:02:05,224 --> 00:02:07,358
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
46
00:02:07,426 --> 00:02:09,526
♪ yeah we tease him a lot ♪
47
00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:13,865
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
48
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:18,236
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
49
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:23,341
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
50
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:34,245
Oh, hey, doris, doris,
51
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,564
We're all set for
Tomorrow night.
52
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,599
Look at who's fighting
In the main event here.
53
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:43,560
We got "Grease gun" gomez
Versus al "Three toes" tortellini.
54
00:02:43,629 --> 00:02:47,031
Tortellini eats
Barbed wire for lunch.
55
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,433
Juan, I can't stand blood.
56
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,335
You know, me neither.
57
00:02:51,403 --> 00:02:56,140
I'd rather see lumps,
Bruises, and contusions.
58
00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:58,242
Good, then you go
To the fights with him.
59
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:03,113
Oh, doris, why don't
You do what I do?
60
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:07,451
Keep your eyes closed and
Throw cushions at the referee.
61
00:03:07,519 --> 00:03:08,753
I'm not going.
62
00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:10,566
I paid good american
Dollars for these tickets.
63
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,300
What do you mean
You ain't going?
64
00:03:12,324 --> 00:03:15,158
The principal's office is
Right over there, beau.
65
00:03:15,227 --> 00:03:17,094
Oh, thank you so much.
66
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,196
I'm new here and
Somewhat dependent
67
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,766
Upon the kindness of strangers.
68
00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:24,501
Thank you for this, too.
69
00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:28,305
"555-2161."
70
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,307
You just stay by your
Phone tonight, hear?
71
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,443
You'll remember my
Number, too, won't you, beau?
72
00:03:32,511 --> 00:03:34,055
Oh, darling, there
Are three things
73
00:03:34,079 --> 00:03:36,179
Beau de labarre never forgets:
74
00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:38,783
Names, phone numbers,
75
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:41,084
And how to hang up
If your daddy answers.
76
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,629
Excuse me.
77
00:03:51,697 --> 00:03:53,731
Hi, my name's beau de
Labarre from new orleans.
78
00:03:53,799 --> 00:03:55,966
I'm new here, and I wondered
If you might direct me
79
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,679
To the nearest
Principal's office.
80
00:03:57,703 --> 00:04:02,306
Well, hush my puppies!
81
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,508
I tell you what you
Got to do, darling.
82
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,678
What you got to do is you go
Around the old magnolia bush,
83
00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:12,149
Down tobacco road,
Then... Up your plantation.
84
00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:20,023
But... Us poor white trash,
85
00:04:20,092 --> 00:04:23,494
We just take the
Third door on the left.
86
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:26,497
And land safe now
Child, land safe.
87
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:30,400
You make sure your
Mama know where you is.
88
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:34,071
She gonna be worried about you.
89
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,039
I'm sure you gentlemen
Wouldn't mind
90
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:40,778
If this young lady
Showed me the way.
91
00:04:40,846 --> 00:04:43,146
Not if you wouldn't
Mind getting a boll weevil
92
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:47,117
Shoved up your nose.
93
00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:48,318
Listen, fellas,
94
00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:50,387
I'm not looking for any trouble.
95
00:04:50,455 --> 00:04:53,090
I'm just looking for
The principal's office,
96
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:56,259
Or anything else I
Might find along the way.
97
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:06,770
Well, fiddle-de-dee,
Master juan.
98
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:10,674
The south done rose again.
99
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:13,410
Get off my back.
100
00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:15,645
That new southern
Dude's just a mouth.
101
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,447
Yeah, it's too bad his mouth
102
00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:20,117
Is gonna be all
Over doris' lips.
103
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,791
How would you like your
Lips all over your face?
104
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,270
I wouldn't like that at all.
105
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:34,098
- well, I didn't think so.
- well, you're very psychic.
106
00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:36,500
Now, gabe, don't forget
That the chicken soup
107
00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:39,236
Is on the stove, and please
Don't walk around the apartment
108
00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:41,539
Without your slippers
And bath robe, okay?
109
00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:43,740
Don't forget to take
Your medicine either.
110
00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:45,809
Bye-bye.
111
00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:47,678
Julie, get your pad, please.
112
00:05:47,746 --> 00:05:51,848
This memo has to
Go out right away.
113
00:05:51,917 --> 00:05:55,819
"To all students
Taking driver education:
114
00:05:55,888 --> 00:06:00,090
Unless the steering wheel
And transmission are returned...
115
00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:05,562
Driver ed classes
Will be terminated."
116
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:07,964
Exclamation point!
117
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:12,870
Hi, mrs. Kotter.
118
00:06:12,938 --> 00:06:14,604
Oh, hi, doris.
119
00:06:14,673 --> 00:06:16,573
This is beau... De labarre?
120
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,275
No, "Beau de labarre."
121
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,010
It should flow.
122
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,378
He's from new orleans.
123
00:06:21,446 --> 00:06:22,747
That's "New orleans."
124
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:25,949
That should flow, too,
Just like "Mississippi."
125
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:31,121
Doris, why don't you
Flow off to class?
126
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:33,223
Pretty little lady's right.
127
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:35,426
I think I can handle
It from here.
128
00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:39,930
You can handle anything
From anywhere at any time.
129
00:06:47,506 --> 00:06:49,639
My, I like what I'm smellin'.
130
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:51,741
May I inquire what it is?
131
00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:54,244
Why, yes you may.
132
00:06:54,312 --> 00:06:58,582
It's typing cleaner.
133
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:01,652
Boy, I... You know, I
Love office humor.
134
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,887
- my daddy once told me...
- uh, mr. Woodman.
135
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:07,525
This is beau de labarre, a
New student from new orleans.
136
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,192
De labarre?
137
00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:11,061
Where have you been?
138
00:07:11,129 --> 00:07:14,531
Ooh, I love that voice, sir.
139
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,701
You were supposed to
Report here a week ago.
140
00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:20,170
Without even being told,
141
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:23,941
I can hear I'm in the
Presence of the head honcho.
142
00:07:24,009 --> 00:07:27,845
You can tell that
Just from the voice?
143
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,847
Yes, indeed!
144
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,183
And your flair for fashion.
145
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:37,287
Well, thank you, de labarre.
146
00:07:37,355 --> 00:07:40,724
Polyester breathes so well.
147
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,504
Julie, let me have
His transcript.
148
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:44,961
I want to get mr. De
Labarre situated.
149
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:45,962
After you, sir.
150
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,108
No, no, no, after you.
151
00:07:47,132 --> 00:07:48,866
Oh, I insist.
152
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:52,502
Thank you.
153
00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:55,105
That's a nice kid.
154
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,282
You were expelled
From seven schools?
155
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:08,852
It's not a record I'm
Proud of, mr. Woodman.
156
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,422
It would be very easy
For me to point a finger
157
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:15,025
At the decadent conditions
That existed at that point in time.
158
00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:18,495
Oh, I can imagine
How you suffered.
159
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:22,066
I know none of this
Excuses my past behavior,
160
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:24,334
But my daddy taught me
There are three things
161
00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:28,305
A real man never does:
162
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:31,007
Cheat at cards, lie at love,
163
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:36,780
Or step on a pregnant alligator.
164
00:08:36,848 --> 00:08:40,083
That's so true.
165
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,985
Unfortunately,
Your grades put you
166
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:44,888
In the remedial guidance class.
167
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:47,090
That makes you a sweathog.
168
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:48,492
Sweathog?
169
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,427
That sounds gross.
170
00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:54,497
It is.
171
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,944
That don't look nothin'
Like mr. Woodman.
172
00:09:08,013 --> 00:09:09,958
It ain't supposed
To be mr. Woodman.
173
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:12,022
It's supposed to be that
Southern fried phony,
174
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:14,885
Beau diddly.
175
00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:18,455
Oh, yeah, yeah, I see it now.
176
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:22,326
It's almost
Perfect, little juan!
177
00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:26,196
Except for the eyes,
The nose, and the hair.
178
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:30,033
♪ look for the
Confederate label ♪
179
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:35,171
♪ when you are
Buying your bvds ♪
180
00:09:37,175 --> 00:09:40,043
Hey, man, how you get
That dude's shorts?
181
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:43,180
They came with his pants.
182
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:48,952
Yeah, he's in gym class
Right now takin' a shower.
183
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:52,355
Uh, you left his zipper open.
184
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,703
Now, now, now, now,
Honey child, honey child,
185
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:08,706
Honey child, that will never do!
186
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,141
We have a dress code here.
187
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:16,613
Sir, you are a disgrace
To your regiment, sir.
188
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:20,083
Oh!
189
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:23,920
I used to have an
Uncle like that,
190
00:10:23,989 --> 00:10:27,391
Only he used to
Work with a raincoat.
191
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:36,533
Mr. Epstein.
192
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:39,736
Mr. De labarre!
193
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,705
I underestimated you.
194
00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:43,807
Allow me to salute your cunning,
195
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:46,443
Your dexterity, and
Since you're holding
196
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:49,279
That staple gun, your
Choice of weapons.
197
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:51,882
Well, you just stay away
From my women, de labarre,
198
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:54,818
Because the next time I
Staple up these clothes,
199
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:57,020
You're gonna be in 'em.
200
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:06,296
I can't believe that
Little... Cotton picker.
201
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:08,298
How many girls does he need?
202
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:10,100
I saw him in the library.
203
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,501
He returned one book
204
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:16,272
And checked out
Two cheerleaders.
205
00:11:16,341 --> 00:11:18,809
Excuse me, ladies.
206
00:11:18,877 --> 00:11:20,677
Juan, juan.
207
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,223
You know, I'm new here,
208
00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:24,514
I wondered if I might
Pick your brains.
209
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,894
Well, uh, you can try,
210
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:29,219
But you're pickin'
At an empty field.
211
00:11:29,287 --> 00:11:31,688
Ah!
212
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:34,124
Come on, come on.
213
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,392
Yeah, sure, sure.
214
00:11:36,461 --> 00:11:38,829
That little dental
Hygienist over there,
215
00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:40,864
She needs a date for tonight.
216
00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:43,367
I'd ask you to fill in,
But I'd hate to risk you
217
00:11:43,435 --> 00:11:45,247
Falling behind on
Your school work.
218
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,038
He's two years behind
Now, what's another night?
219
00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:55,746
Hey, uh, you could
Recommend me, little juan.
220
00:11:55,814 --> 00:11:58,048
No offense, arnold,
But this is a, uh,
221
00:11:58,117 --> 00:11:59,483
Physical woman.
222
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,788
Her taste doesn't
Run toward the, um...
223
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:08,057
Intellectual.
224
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:13,162
What do you say, juan,
Are you gonna help me out?
225
00:12:13,231 --> 00:12:15,565
Yeah, sure, sure, I'll
Do you a favor this time,
226
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,233
But you owe me one.
227
00:12:17,302 --> 00:12:20,637
Come on, let's go over
And check out the goods.
228
00:12:37,055 --> 00:12:39,088
Oh, freddie...
229
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:41,291
We never should've
Let little juan go out
230
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,960
With that dental technician.
231
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:46,096
Don't let that smile fool you.
232
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:48,064
She probably gave
Him a good flossing
233
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,066
And sent him straight home.
234
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:53,681
Yeah, sure, sure,
That's why I got
235
00:12:53,705 --> 00:12:55,283
Another appointment
With her for tonight.
236
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:58,875
Come on, guys, I'm talkin'
About a sophisticated lady here.
237
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,910
Marlene palumbo
Happens to be a graduate
238
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:06,249
Of dr. Waldheim's
School of oral hygiene.
239
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:10,353
That's a terrific school.
240
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:14,324
They advertise on every
Matchbook in the city.
241
00:13:14,392 --> 00:13:15,525
That's right,
242
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,005
And after I dumped
Beau and his date,
243
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,573
I took marlene to the fights.
244
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:19,774
Now, come on, epstein, come on.
245
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,833
Let's get down to
The real nitty-gritty.
246
00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:27,036
What happened... After
You took her home?
247
00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:28,683
What do you think happened?
248
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:34,211
She's a dental
Hygienisist, isn't she?
249
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,346
I get it, I get it.
250
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:39,048
They drank beer
Out of a waterpik.
251
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:42,163
Nothin' happened,
That's what happened!
252
00:13:42,187 --> 00:13:43,831
Oh, yeah, sure,
Nothin' happened.
253
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,922
Juan, juan.
254
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:49,726
I just want you to know, I'm
Mighty sorry about last night.
255
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:51,606
It's just your own fault,
Beau, you just picked
256
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,174
The wrong girl, that's all.
257
00:13:53,198 --> 00:13:55,699
Yeah, juan got the swinger
258
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,934
With the waterpik.
259
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,337
That's right, she saw juan
Through his cavity-prone years
260
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,039
In one night.
261
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,652
I wish that hadn't happened.
262
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:06,877
Well, beau, she just couldn't
Help herself, you know?
263
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:10,981
You're just looking at a man
Here with animal magnitude.
264
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,348
That may be true,
265
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:18,054
But it's not gonna put you in
Good stead with her husband.
266
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:19,856
Husband?
267
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,770
Hey, man, you didn't tell
Us that chick was married.
268
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,537
Hey, don't blame
Juan, he didn't know.
269
00:14:23,561 --> 00:14:25,963
I just found out myself.
270
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:28,531
She's got an old man?
271
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,169
Well, unfortunately,
He's not that old.
272
00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:33,915
Juan, I feel terrible
About all this,
273
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,583
And I'm gonna do
Everything I can
274
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:38,008
To smuggle you
Out of the country.
275
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,776
Smuggle me out of the country?
276
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:42,379
Well, I presume
That's how you got in.
277
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:47,884
Hey, guy, juan epstein
Don't run from nobody.
278
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:52,689
I mean, I've worked over more
Faces than a plastic sturgeon.
279
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,359
That kind of courage
May serve you well,
280
00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:58,662
Because marlene...
Mrs. Palombo, that is...
281
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,331
Likens her husband
To the incredible hulk.
282
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,233
The incredible hulk?
283
00:15:07,205 --> 00:15:08,605
Juan.
284
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:11,007
Juan, there's a phone
Call for you in the office.
285
00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:13,075
It's a mrs. Palombo.
286
00:15:13,144 --> 00:15:15,378
Juan, she is hysterical.
287
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:18,649
Something about
You and her husband
288
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:21,751
And killing.
289
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:24,187
Santos gevalt!
290
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:32,295
Juan, mrs. Palombo's on
The phone waiting for you.
291
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:47,944
No speak the english.
292
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:51,147
Hi, there.
293
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,281
Yeah, yeah.
294
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,150
Just hold up, I'm
Listenin', all right.
295
00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,086
Well, I just missed
The part where you say
296
00:15:56,154 --> 00:15:58,488
Your husband was
Gonna tear off juan's arm
297
00:15:58,556 --> 00:16:03,293
And use it to
Break both his legs.
298
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:07,230
Oh, these are violent
Times, mrs. Kotter.
299
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,700
Guys, since when has juan
Started dating married women?
300
00:16:10,768 --> 00:16:12,468
Well, since last night.
301
00:16:12,537 --> 00:16:14,771
That southern dude
Really fixed juan up.
302
00:16:14,839 --> 00:16:16,479
With mrs. Palombo, the wife?
303
00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:18,375
Enter mr. Palombo, the gorilla.
304
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:19,987
Exit juan, the frightened.
305
00:16:20,011 --> 00:16:21,356
Soon to be juan, the pulverized.
306
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,024
- let's split.
- see you at the funeral.
307
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,048
- see you later.
- bye now.
308
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,487
Juan, juan, you been in
There for three hours.
309
00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:33,990
You can come out now.
310
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:35,592
Any signs of godzilla?
311
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:36,661
No.
312
00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:39,662
If you ask me, that
Dude ain't showin'.
313
00:16:44,936 --> 00:16:46,002
Look, freddie,
314
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,549
If I don't make it
Through this day,
315
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,574
There's somethin'
Here I want you to have.
316
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:57,447
"My last will and tenement."
317
00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:00,484
Do you think he's
Gonna bump himself off?
318
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:04,521
How, flush himself
Down a toilet?
319
00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:10,527
"I, juan sanchez jose
Martinez guadalupe sandoval
320
00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:15,231
Ortega valdez
Jesus angel cordero
321
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:23,300
Di huevos
Epstein... The third...
322
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:28,344
I hereby leave to my good
Friend, freddie washington..."
323
00:17:28,413 --> 00:17:30,180
Oh, freddie, hey!
324
00:17:30,248 --> 00:17:33,783
"The priceless contents of
The top shelf of my locker:
325
00:17:33,851 --> 00:17:36,519
Two hubcaps from a police car."
326
00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:39,989
"To my dearest and
Best beloved friend,
327
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:43,426
Arnold horshack..." oh, juan!
328
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:49,365
"I leave all of my
Excuse notes," oh!
329
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:54,704
"And also my mother's recipe
330
00:17:54,772 --> 00:18:00,476
For matzah balls ranchero."
331
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,545
Hey, juan, hey, man,
332
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,281
That's beautiful,
Brother, that's beautiful.
333
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,761
Hey, juan, don't
Give up the hope, man.
334
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,463
You got us to protect
You, don't worry.
335
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,854
Oh, yeah, juan, don't worry.
336
00:18:10,922 --> 00:18:12,600
You'll make it through the day,
337
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,101
But just in case you don't,
338
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:17,093
How come freddie
Gets more than me?
339
00:18:17,161 --> 00:18:18,294
Sorry, arnold.
340
00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,563
I ran out of paper.
341
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,604
Mrs. Kotter, these
Supplies just came in for you.
342
00:18:28,673 --> 00:18:31,040
Thought I'd bring 'em up
Just to lighten your load.
343
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,654
You shouldn't have bothered.
344
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:33,921
Just trying to be helpful.
345
00:18:33,945 --> 00:18:36,312
Like you were with juan?
346
00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:39,949
I heard about the big
Favor you did him last night.
347
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,796
From your tone, I
Gather your response
348
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,286
Is less than enthusiastic.
349
00:18:43,354 --> 00:18:44,921
You gather right.
350
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,501
You know, I think you knew
351
00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:47,936
That mrs. Palombo was married
352
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,259
Before you ever
Fixed juan up with her.
353
00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:52,173
You were just angry
Because he stapled
354
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,365
Your clothes to the wall.
355
00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:57,633
Mrs. Kotter, imagine
How you'd feel
356
00:18:57,702 --> 00:18:59,180
With a whole
School full of people
357
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,871
Staring at your panties.
358
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,573
On the wall, I mean.
359
00:19:04,642 --> 00:19:07,410
Is this how you did things
Down in new orleans?
360
00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:09,657
Well, to correct your low
Opinion of me, mrs. Kotter,
361
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,814
I'm gonna let you
In on a little secret.
362
00:19:11,883 --> 00:19:13,849
There is no mrs. Palombo.
363
00:19:13,918 --> 00:19:15,285
Don't lie, beau.
364
00:19:15,353 --> 00:19:17,887
I spoke to the woman
On the phone myself.
365
00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:20,056
Oh, you spoke to
Marlene, all right.
366
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,635
I had marlene make the call,
367
00:19:21,659 --> 00:19:23,370
But marlene isn't married,
368
00:19:23,394 --> 00:19:27,030
Which of course means
There is no mr. Palombo either.
369
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,666
But there is a
Terrified juan epstein
370
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,802
Hiding somewhere and
Missing all of his classes.
371
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:37,040
He can thank me for that later.
372
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,309
Beau, this may not
Mean anything to you,
373
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:42,178
But juan epstein has
A learning problem,
374
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:47,183
Which means he cannot
Afford to miss any classes.
375
00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:50,086
You really care
About these swinehogs.
376
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:53,189
Sweathogs.
377
00:19:53,257 --> 00:19:54,824
And yes, I do.
378
00:19:54,892 --> 00:19:56,625
And so does my husband.
379
00:19:56,694 --> 00:19:59,996
He has years of
Aggravation invested in them.
380
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:02,432
Well,
381
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:05,701
I was gonna let juan sweat
It out the rest of the week,
382
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:07,037
But thanks to you,
383
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:09,973
He'll be back in class
First thing tomorrow.
384
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:14,510
But you are gonna let him
Squirm for the rest of the day.
385
00:20:14,579 --> 00:20:17,079
Yes, ma'am!
386
00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:19,716
See, I can't let these
Guys push me around.
387
00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:21,183
But don't you worry now.
388
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,720
There are three things I
Never take away from any man:
389
00:20:23,788 --> 00:20:29,626
His dignity, his
Honesty, or his puberty.
390
00:20:29,694 --> 00:20:33,830
Do you just make
Those things up?
391
00:20:33,898 --> 00:20:35,965
Yup.
392
00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:37,867
Don't!
393
00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:54,317
The flying fish have polyps!
394
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:59,188
The albatross is naked!
395
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,526
Let's move, let's
Get out of here.
396
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,306
I don't know what the rush is.
397
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,574
I'm always in a rush-a
398
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,798
When there's a contract
Out on my face-a.
399
00:21:08,866 --> 00:21:09,799
Scusi!
400
00:21:09,867 --> 00:21:11,234
Juan, juan.
401
00:21:11,302 --> 00:21:14,938
Relax, come here.
402
00:21:15,006 --> 00:21:17,040
Look, marlene isn't married.
403
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,475
There is no mr. Palombo.
404
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:20,610
I made him up.
405
00:21:20,678 --> 00:21:22,122
You mean to tell me
I spent four hours
406
00:21:22,146 --> 00:21:25,014
In a bathroom for nothin'?
407
00:21:25,082 --> 00:21:28,751
Where do I find juan epstein?
408
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:42,732
Hello.
409
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:46,802
What do you want-a
With this-a juan epstein?
410
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,608
To kill him.
411
00:21:52,677 --> 00:21:54,844
He took out my girl last night.
412
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:58,381
See, marlene don't know it,
But we're practically engaged.
413
00:21:58,449 --> 00:22:00,549
Now, where's epstein?
414
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,455
You want to see epstein?
415
00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:11,761
Okay, big boy, I'm
Gonna give you epstein.
416
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,263
I'm epstein.
417
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:17,734
Juan!
418
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,407
Juan, are you all right?
419
00:22:24,475 --> 00:22:27,410
I love a good joke, but
I hated the punch line.
420
00:22:27,478 --> 00:22:28,644
Come on.
421
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:31,280
Come over here, why'd
You tell him you was me?
422
00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:36,586
I coulda handled that guy.
423
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:40,156
There are three
Things I never run from:
424
00:22:40,224 --> 00:22:47,096
A good fight, a good
Offer, or a bad woman.
425
00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:50,967
Besides, I had it comin'.
426
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,903
Well, let me tell
You somethin', beau.
427
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:56,639
There's three other things
You shouldn't run from.
428
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:58,474
What?
429
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,676
I'm one.
430
00:23:00,745 --> 00:23:02,645
I'm two.
431
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,981
I'm three.
432
00:23:05,049 --> 00:23:07,283
Hey, you guys are all right.
433
00:23:15,259 --> 00:23:17,004
How you doin',
Everybody? Good morning.
434
00:23:17,028 --> 00:23:18,561
Oh, back so soon, mr. K.
435
00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:20,830
Well, I'm sorry to
Disappoint you, mr. Dlb,
436
00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:24,300
But you can only make so
Much soup out of one chicken.
437
00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:26,209
Well, that's a lucky
Thing for all of us,
438
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,582
Because a man like you would
Be missed something fierce.
439
00:23:28,606 --> 00:23:31,007
Now, mr. Woodman
Needs you by his side.
440
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:34,177
The two of you are
Like... Skilled navigators.
441
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,089
I once had an uncle
Who was a navigator.
442
00:23:36,113 --> 00:23:37,413
Glad you brought it up.
443
00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:38,482
My uncle melser.
444
00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:39,794
Yes, sir, he was a navigator.
445
00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:41,762
Now, one time, beau,
He was in africa,
446
00:23:41,786 --> 00:23:43,698
And he saw an
Elephant lyin' on its side
447
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:44,865
With a thorn in his foot.
448
00:23:44,889 --> 00:23:46,099
You know what happened, beau?
449
00:23:46,123 --> 00:23:48,257
He took that thorn out
Of the elephant's foot.
450
00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:51,126
Now, that elephant
Was so grateful
451
00:23:51,195 --> 00:23:53,496
That he picked my
Uncle up in his trunk
452
00:23:53,565 --> 00:23:55,242
And he took him back
To his hotel room
453
00:23:55,266 --> 00:23:58,568
And put him right in his
Room on the second floor.
454
00:23:58,636 --> 00:24:00,302
Now, one year later,
455
00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:03,706
My uncle was in
Pittsburgh in a circus...
456
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,553
Yes, sir, he was sittin'
There watching a circus,
457
00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:07,844
Elephant comes
Over, picks him up,
458
00:24:07,912 --> 00:24:09,779
And throws him in the balcony
459
00:24:09,848 --> 00:24:12,147
And breaks both his legs.
460
00:24:12,216 --> 00:24:14,884
You know why, beau?
461
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,853
It was a different elephant.
462
00:24:19,691 --> 00:24:25,662
♪
463
00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:28,431
♪ welcome back ♪
464
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:32,101
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
465
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:34,403
♪ welcome back ♪
466
00:24:34,472 --> 00:24:39,308
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
467
00:24:39,377 --> 00:24:41,344
♪ well the names
Have all changed
468
00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:43,612
Since you hung around ♪
469
00:24:43,681 --> 00:24:45,881
♪ but those dreams have remained
470
00:24:45,950 --> 00:24:47,950
And they've turned around ♪
471
00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:50,019
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
472
00:24:50,087 --> 00:24:52,054
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
473
00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:54,023
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
474
00:24:54,091 --> 00:24:56,258
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
475
00:24:56,327 --> 00:24:58,261
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
476
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:00,430
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
477
00:25:00,498 --> 00:25:02,665
♪ welcome back ♪
478
00:25:02,733 --> 00:25:06,969
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
479
00:25:07,038 --> 00:25:09,305
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
480
00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:11,440
♪ yeah we tease him a lot ♪
481
00:25:11,509 --> 00:25:13,509
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
482
00:25:13,578 --> 00:25:15,811
♪ 'cause we got
Him on the spot ♪
483
00:25:15,881 --> 00:25:17,914
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
484
00:25:17,982 --> 00:25:20,083
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
485
00:25:20,151 --> 00:25:22,284
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
486
00:25:22,353 --> 00:25:24,486
♪ welcome back ♪
487
00:25:24,555 --> 00:25:28,825
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
488
00:25:28,893 --> 00:25:33,162
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
489
00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:35,231
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪♪
35648
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