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1
00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:07,171
Hey, juan epstein, just the
Guy I've been wanting to see.
2
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,851
Okay, now, you
See this right here?
3
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:11,575
Pick a card, any card, go ahead.
4
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,456
All right now, both of
Y'all look at that card.
5
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,712
Y'all lookin' at it?
6
00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,781
Okay, rip it in half.
7
00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:20,251
Okay, rip it in half again.
8
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,054
Okay, throw it over
Your right shoulder.
9
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:26,757
That card was
The... Seven of clubs.
10
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:28,159
Wrong.
11
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:31,462
Okay, pick another card.
12
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,998
- okay, rip it in half.
- guys, guys, oh, guys.
13
00:00:34,066 --> 00:00:35,811
Boy am I in trouble,
You gotta help me.
14
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,612
This is the worst thing
That ever happened to me.
15
00:00:37,636 --> 00:00:38,970
Don't tell me.
16
00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:42,506
You wore out a foot
In your dr. Dentons.
17
00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:44,642
Will you come
On? This is serious.
18
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,778
Oh, you wore out both foots.
19
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:50,581
Look, arnold, don't mind
These clowns over here.
20
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,650
You just tell uncle
Juan what ails ya.
21
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,186
Well, uncle juan,
22
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:58,356
Last night, mary
Johnson called me up
23
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,324
And asked me to
That party tonight.
24
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,259
Oh, you... You turned
Her down, huh?
25
00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:06,063
Oh, worse, I said yes.
26
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,465
What am I gonna do?
27
00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:10,701
Well, for starters, you
Can go to the party with her.
28
00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,870
I can't do that!
29
00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:15,739
Every time... I'm around her,
30
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,975
I-I freeze up, my... My...
31
00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:21,179
My tongue gets all tied
And my hands get all sweaty.
32
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:24,748
Ooh, arnold.
33
00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:27,551
Sounds like, uh, you in love.
34
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,753
Ooh!
35
00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:30,954
Either that,
36
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:34,825
Or you got a case of
Hoof-and-mouth disease.
37
00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:36,627
That's it, that's it.
38
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,796
Every time I'm around
Her, I open my mouth
39
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,898
And I put my hoof in it.
40
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,768
I mean, it was a lot easier
41
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,270
To talk to her when we
Was just friends, you know,
42
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:49,807
But now, now she's a date
And everything is different.
43
00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:51,320
Arnold, arnold, now look.
44
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:54,312
Communicating with the
Opposite sex isn't that difficult.
45
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:57,381
Just forget they're girls and
Pretend they're regular people.
46
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,749
Yeah, come on, guy.
47
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,552
You're a man, she's a woman.
48
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:04,888
You're tough, she's soft.
49
00:02:04,957 --> 00:02:08,426
Blow in her ear, she'll love it.
50
00:02:08,494 --> 00:02:10,105
But what if it makes her mad?
51
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:12,930
Oh, arnold, don't
Worry about nothin', man.
52
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,499
Most chicks don't throw
A punch on the first date.
53
00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:18,402
Okay, okay, I'll
Try, I'll be tough.
54
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,569
I'll be mean.
55
00:02:19,638 --> 00:02:22,139
I'll be macho man.
56
00:02:22,207 --> 00:02:24,575
Macho man, all
Right, here we go.
57
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,776
Hi, guys.
58
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:33,583
Can arnold come out and play?
59
00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:35,419
Hi, arnold.
60
00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:39,223
Is our date still
On for tonight?
61
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,659
What time will you pick me up.
62
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,331
Okay.
63
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,132
See ya at seven.
64
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:51,168
Bye.
65
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,823
You see what I mean?
If I don't find some way
66
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,290
To impress her at
That party tonight,
67
00:03:02,314 --> 00:03:03,859
She's never gonna
Go out with me again.
68
00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:05,294
Oh, arnold, come on.
69
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,028
Relax, take it easy,
You're gonna be all right.
70
00:03:07,052 --> 00:03:08,964
You're gonna do just fine,
Don't worry about nothin'.
71
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:10,732
Yeah, but, what am
I gonna say to her
72
00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,656
When she asks
Why I'm not talking?
73
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,025
Just tell her you're
A little hoarse.
74
00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:21,866
Hey, arnold.
75
00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:23,445
Listen, I couldn't
Help but overhear.
76
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:25,113
You know, you're
Having a little problem
77
00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:29,139
With the females of
The opposite sex, huh?
78
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,119
That's none of your
Business, carvelli.
79
00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:32,688
Well, arnold, come on, look,
80
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,512
I'm not gonna spread this
Around the school, you know?
81
00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,414
Look, I'm not that kind of guy.
82
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:41,151
Yeah, there ain't
No money in that.
83
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,420
Look, for a small fee,
84
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,556
I can fix you up
With a magic potion
85
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,758
That will give you
The, uh, the courage
86
00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:48,992
That you need.
87
00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:50,394
Yeah, what is it?
88
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:51,562
Come over here.
89
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,230
Murray.
90
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,300
Arnold, check it out.
91
00:03:56,369 --> 00:04:00,937
Liquid backbone.
92
00:04:01,006 --> 00:04:02,918
This is whiskey, I
Don't want this.
93
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,008
You don't want it?
94
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,687
Hey, no problem, look, arnold,
95
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:07,871
There's lots of people who
Pay cash for this, you know?
96
00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:09,179
It's fine, look,
97
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:11,515
You want to make a fool
Outta yourself in front of mary,
98
00:04:11,583 --> 00:04:12,995
That's all right with me.
99
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,284
Here, I'll bill ya.
100
00:04:14,353 --> 00:04:20,023
Come on, murray,
Let's go... Hey, carvel...
101
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:28,532
♪
102
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:37,507
♪ welcome back ♪
103
00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:41,178
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
104
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,480
♪ welcome back ♪
105
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:48,385
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
106
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,421
♪ well the names
Have all changed
107
00:04:50,489 --> 00:04:52,690
Since you hung around ♪
108
00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,958
♪ but those dreams have remained
109
00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:57,027
And they've turned around ♪
110
00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:59,096
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
111
00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:01,109
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
112
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,100
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
113
00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:05,336
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
114
00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:07,338
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
115
00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:09,506
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
116
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,742
♪ welcome back ♪
117
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:16,213
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
118
00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:18,382
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
119
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,417
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
120
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,620
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
121
00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:24,789
♪ welcome back ♪
122
00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:29,159
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
123
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:33,530
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
124
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:39,469
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
125
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,979
Have you seen
Arnold this morning?
126
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:52,149
He was acting so strangely
At the party last night.
127
00:05:52,217 --> 00:05:53,951
Berserk was more like it.
128
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:56,754
You know, he was even acting
Weird when he picked me up.
129
00:05:56,823 --> 00:06:00,424
Kept calling my
Mother "Tootsie."
130
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:01,792
You think that's weird?
131
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:05,396
That's what he was calling
Me all last night, too.
132
00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:07,184
When I got a ride
Home with sally,
133
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,777
He was dancing on a tabletop.
134
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,145
Yeah, well, you
Shoulda stuck around
135
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:11,780
Till two o'clock in the morning.
136
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:14,404
He challenged the
Football team to a fight.
137
00:06:14,473 --> 00:06:15,572
Arnold?
138
00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:16,840
That's crazy!
139
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,520
No, the crazy thing
Was that he had
140
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,778
The whole football
Team all scared.
141
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:24,515
Good morning.
142
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,950
- good morning.
- good morning.
143
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:28,819
As you know, your
Poetry assignments
144
00:06:28,887 --> 00:06:30,254
Are due this morning.
145
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:35,392
Mr. Epstein, I think
We'll start with you.
146
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,365
Epstein!
147
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,533
Your poem.
148
00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:47,838
The title of my poem is "Fleas."
149
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,407
Adam had 'em.
150
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,946
I see.
151
00:06:56,015 --> 00:07:01,918
In that case, the title
Of your mark is "F."
152
00:07:01,987 --> 00:07:04,521
Tough stuff.
153
00:07:10,729 --> 00:07:12,440
All right, tremaine,
What's the big idea
154
00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:17,500
Starting class without me?
155
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:19,347
Well, you'll have to
Forgive me, arnold,
156
00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:21,331
I just don't know
What came over me.
157
00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:22,918
The bell rang, and
Before I knew it,
158
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,843
I'd started the class.
159
00:07:25,911 --> 00:07:28,345
All right, all right, all
Right, I'll let it pass this time.
160
00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:30,547
But next time, you watch it.
161
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:33,650
Thank you so much.
162
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:36,553
Now, I'm not trying
To push my luck here,
163
00:07:36,621 --> 00:07:38,788
But, uh, you wouldn't
Happen to have
164
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:41,891
A tardy excuse
On you, would you?
165
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,628
You want a tardy excuse?
166
00:07:44,696 --> 00:07:47,031
I'll give you a tardy excuse.
167
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:49,466
I'm tardy, excuse me!
168
00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,651
You're gonna have
To excuse arnold.
169
00:07:56,675 --> 00:08:02,412
He gets a little cranky
When his malt-o-meal is lumpy.
170
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:06,349
Yeah, how would you like
A lumpy lip, sheep head?
171
00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:15,059
Boy, you people are dreary.
172
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:20,297
Not you, baby.
173
00:08:20,365 --> 00:08:22,299
All right, mr. Horshack.
174
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:24,534
Since you seem to have
The attention of the class,
175
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:26,381
Why don't you just
Get up on your feet
176
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,305
And give us your
Poetry assignment?
177
00:08:28,373 --> 00:08:31,374
It would be my pleasure.
178
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:43,487
There was an old
Man from nantucket
179
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,067
Who got his head
Stuck in a bucket...
180
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:49,225
- arnold, that is enough!
- oh, come on!
181
00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:51,105
Come on, loosen
Up, this is a killer.
182
00:08:51,129 --> 00:08:53,797
Arnold, that's enough.
I want you to sit down.
183
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,000
I will not sit down, I
Want to read my poem,
184
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,869
And anybody that tries to stop
Me is looking for big trouble.
185
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,105
Well, trouble is my middle name.
186
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,340
Arnold, guy, come on, huh?
187
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:05,141
Grab a seat, it ain't
Worth all this, huh?
188
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,121
Are you gonna let me
Read my poem or not?
189
00:09:07,145 --> 00:09:08,890
Hey, arnold, come
On, man, cut it out, man.
190
00:09:08,914 --> 00:09:10,091
She said sit down, sit down.
191
00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:11,982
I will not sit down!
192
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:15,385
Arnold, please.
193
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:18,288
You people are
All makin' fun of me.
194
00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:20,435
Don't think I don't know it,
You've been makin' fun of me
195
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,236
All my life, but you're
Not gonna do it anymore.
196
00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:23,905
Nobody's making
Fun of you, arnold.
197
00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:27,631
And another thing!
198
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,701
You're going to the prom
With me on friday night.
199
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,704
I'll pick you up at 8:30.
200
00:09:41,613 --> 00:09:45,048
Well, he sure got over
His shyness with girls.
201
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,108
- here, two bucks?
- yeah.
202
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:03,466
Say, arnold, we're here to
Pick up our tickets for the prom.
203
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:04,913
Oh, gee, I'm sorry, guys,
204
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,614
But we sold out the
Prom tickets yesterday.
205
00:10:06,638 --> 00:10:08,116
Well, what are
You talkin' about?
206
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:10,151
You said you were gonna save
Those discount tickets for us
207
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:11,553
So we can get our cash together.
208
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,488
Yeah, now we gotta pay
Full price at the door.
209
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:16,880
Yeah, I-I never
Said any such thing.
210
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,393
You did to, how
Could you forget?
211
00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:19,995
It was just the day
Before yesterday.
212
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,162
Look, are you calling me a liar?
213
00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:22,263
I'm not calling you a liar.
214
00:10:22,287 --> 00:10:24,587
I'm calling you
A pea brain, pal.
215
00:10:24,656 --> 00:10:27,824
Anybody with half a mind would
Remember a promise to a friend.
216
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:32,062
Oh, juan, juan, you know me.
217
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,898
I don't forget my promises...
218
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,301
To my friends.
219
00:10:37,369 --> 00:10:39,770
I don't believe this.
220
00:10:39,838 --> 00:10:43,607
I gotta get going here,
Mr. Benedict arnold horshack.
221
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,141
I don't believe it!
222
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:47,578
Looks to me like arnold's
Had a blowout of the brain
223
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:50,046
And he's ridin' on the rims.
224
00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:56,220
Hey, guys!
225
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,687
Guys!
226
00:10:57,756 --> 00:11:01,491
Guys, don't you run away mad!
227
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,830
Just run away.
228
00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:12,069
"Just run away," that's
Pretty good, "Just run away."
229
00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:13,937
"Just run away."
230
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,669
Hey, hey, freddie, my main man!
231
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,593
What's shakin', huh?
232
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:39,062
Your teeth if you
Don't straighten up.
233
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,342
Arnold, where's
Your head at, man?
234
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,809
You're leaving the counter
Here with nobody here.
235
00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,099
What's wrong with you?
236
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,946
Hey, come on, man, ease
Up, don't blow a gasket.
237
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,748
I was just... I was just around
The corner at my locker.
238
00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,950
Look, I don't care what you was
Doing, you understand me, man?
239
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,552
You're never supposed to leave
The counter with money on it.
240
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:51,875
What's wrong with you?
241
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,210
Oh.
242
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,822
You don't like the
Money on the counter.
243
00:11:54,846 --> 00:11:56,190
No, I don't like the
Money on the counter.
244
00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:59,316
- that's the problem?
- yeah, that's the problem.
245
00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:00,384
End of problem.
246
00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:01,763
What's the matter
With you, arnold?
247
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,231
- are you crazy or something?
- yeah, I'm crazy.
248
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:05,536
I'm crazy to think that I could
Ever be partners with you.
249
00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:08,292
Look, you want to run the
Store school, you got it!
250
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,294
Run it into the
Ground for all I care.
251
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:12,202
It's all right, I'll
Take care of this.
252
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,508
Here, freddie, let me help you.
253
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:14,664
You want to help me?
254
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,244
You just keep
Arnold out of my sight
255
00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:18,113
Before I make him a
Permanent part of that locker.
256
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:19,614
Just cool down a little bit now.
257
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:22,940
Let me see what I
Can do about this.
258
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,409
You redecorating, arnold?
259
00:12:25,477 --> 00:12:27,210
What's it to you?
260
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:29,223
Well, I've been wondering
What's been keeping you
261
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:31,848
Out of my class for
The last couple of days.
262
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,528
Is something the matter?
263
00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:37,087
Yes, something is the
Matter, mrs. Tremaine.
264
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:39,456
You see...
265
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,470
I'm sick and tired of
Everybody asking me
266
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,537
If something's the matter.
267
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:44,305
I'm fine, okay? I'm just fine.
268
00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:46,196
Never better.
269
00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:48,209
Now why don't you just
Go peddle your poetry
270
00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:50,266
And leave me alone?
271
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,429
And I'm telling you
If you don't cough up
272
00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:09,998
More money for lab animals,
273
00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:13,924
The students are gonna
Start dissecting each other!
274
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:17,794
Hey, that's not a bad idea.
275
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,374
Mr. Woodman, I hate
To interrupt you
276
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,866
When you're having
Such a good time.
277
00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:25,769
I have to speak to you
On a very serious matter.
278
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,405
Uh, it has to do with
A drinking problem.
279
00:13:28,473 --> 00:13:31,975
Well, if it's a student who's
Drinking, we'll expel him.
280
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:34,478
That wasn't so tough, was it?
281
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:38,582
Mr. Woodman, let's just
Forget that you're the principal
282
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,517
And that I'm the
Teacher for a moment,
283
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:45,555
And let's just say I'm
Talking about a friend of mine.
284
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:47,657
Oh.
285
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:50,593
Oh, I get it.
286
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:51,828
Have a seat, jean.
287
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:55,598
Uh, thank you.
288
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,867
Now, uh,
289
00:13:57,936 --> 00:14:00,603
Tell me all about
Your friend's troubles.
290
00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:03,273
Well, this just
Started recently,
291
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,343
But already I've seen some
Signs of alcohol abuse,
292
00:14:06,411 --> 00:14:08,290
And there's been a
Personality change
293
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:11,381
And a lot of snapping
At the, um, kids in class
294
00:14:11,449 --> 00:14:15,218
And just a general
Decline in the school work.
295
00:14:15,286 --> 00:14:18,889
Oh, sorry.
296
00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:22,592
What about... Loss
Of coordination?
297
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,227
Yes, and that, too.
298
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,330
Uh, mr. Woodman, this person
299
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:29,666
Has already come
To school drunk.
300
00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:31,267
Tell me, dear.
301
00:14:31,336 --> 00:14:35,605
Does this person take a drink
First thing in the morning?
302
00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:38,441
I don't know, only my friend
Could answer that for sure.
303
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,145
Well, of course, your
Friend is very clever.
304
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,315
Mr. Woodman, I just
Don't know what to do.
305
00:14:45,383 --> 00:14:46,783
I feel so helpless.
306
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:48,151
Well, of course you do,
307
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,320
But at least you
Recognize there's a problem.
308
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,222
That's half the
Battle right there.
309
00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,224
Now what do I do about it?
310
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:58,528
Well, the first thing you
Have to do is get off the sauce.
311
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,664
Get off the sauce?
312
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,253
You're too bright a woman
313
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,668
To drown your
Future in a bottle.
314
00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:06,514
Oh, mr. Woodman,
This is not about...
315
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:09,406
I say pull yourself
Up by your bootstraps
316
00:15:09,474 --> 00:15:11,641
And never look back!
317
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,977
But mr. Woodman,
You've got this all wrong.
318
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,046
I have not!
319
00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:16,245
I read the same advice
320
00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:19,649
In ann landers' column
Yesterday morning,
321
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:21,618
And annie's never wrong!
322
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,120
God, I love that woman!
323
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:28,903
All right, now, all right.
324
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,027
Now, listen to me.
325
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,097
I've asked you all here
Because I'm very concerned
326
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,298
About arnold.
327
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,266
Why didn't you make
Arnold miss his lunch?
328
00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:39,068
Yeah, couldn't make
Him act any meaner
329
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,281
Than he's been acting anyway.
330
00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:41,683
You can say that again.
331
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,273
I've called you here because
You're all arnold's friends.
332
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:45,953
That lets us out, murray.
Let's get out of here.
333
00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:47,221
Yeah, let's get out of here.
334
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:48,445
Sit down.
335
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:52,549
And as arnold's friends, I
Think you should be made aware
336
00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:55,485
That, well, arnold's
Got a drinking problem.
337
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:59,856
You mean he has
Trouble swallowing?
338
00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:03,092
I mean that this personality
Change that's come over him
339
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,561
Is because of alcohol.
340
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,796
Come on, come on, horshack
Doesn't touch anything
341
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,831
Stronger than ovaltine.
342
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,667
That's right, and
Even then he says
343
00:16:10,735 --> 00:16:14,371
The bubbles tickle his nose.
344
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,150
Well, correct me if I'm wrong,
345
00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:18,675
But I found this
In arnold's locker,
346
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:22,045
And I just do not
Think this is ovaltine.
347
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:28,485
It ain't ovaltine.
348
00:16:28,553 --> 00:16:32,455
This is louisiana stunt blower.
349
00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:33,568
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
350
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,135
Wait a minute, let
Me see that here.
351
00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:38,762
Let me see it, beau.
352
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,641
I beg to differ with you, beau.
353
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,732
This is the finest kentucky
Whiskey you can buy
354
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,668
For a dollar and 37 cents.
355
00:16:45,737 --> 00:16:49,539
Yeah, he say it's
High-class rotgut.
356
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:55,077
Just how much do you
Know about this, carvelli?
357
00:16:55,146 --> 00:16:56,591
All I know is I sold the guy
358
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:57,992
A little something
Before a party
359
00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,849
To help him calm
His nerves, that's all.
360
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:01,596
How much have
You sold him since?
361
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,453
Madam, you offend me deeply.
362
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:05,554
Now, carvelli is an
Entrepreneur, sure,
363
00:17:05,623 --> 00:17:07,368
I'm always out to
Make a fast buck,
364
00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:09,592
But I'm not a
Corruptor of youth.
365
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,572
Now, look, arnold may
Be drinking like a fish,
366
00:17:11,596 --> 00:17:14,630
But he's not gettin'
It from me anymore.
367
00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:17,600
He hasn't even paid me
For the first bottle yet.
368
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:24,040
Maybe he's collecting the
Empties for a refund, huh?
369
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:28,045
I think arnold's problem is
Too serious to be laughed off.
370
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:31,981
Are you saying that
Arnold is a... Alcoholic?
371
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,816
No, I don't think he has
372
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,254
A physical
Dependency on alcohol,
373
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:41,591
But he may be developing
An emotional dependency
374
00:17:41,659 --> 00:17:44,361
That could lead to a
Physical dependency.
375
00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:46,074
Why haven't we seen him drunk?
376
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,297
Oh, you have, beau.
377
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,632
You don't have to be
Sloppy to be drunk.
378
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,102
Alcohol affects
Everybody differently,
379
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:55,238
And with arnold, it's
A personality change.
380
00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:59,176
Are you accusing arnold
Horshack of having a personality?
381
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,980
I haven't told
Mr. Woodman about this yet,
382
00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:07,651
But I will if arnold
Doesn't stop drinking.
383
00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,920
Now, that's where
You guys come in.
384
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:12,389
You're arnold's friends.
385
00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:14,457
He looks up to
You, he trusts you.
386
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,104
Not anymore, he doesn't.
387
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,605
Arnold, I was just
Saying to your...
388
00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:19,040
What were you gonna say?
389
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:21,497
"Arnold, I've been going
Through your personal property
390
00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:23,177
So I can get evidence
Against you"?
391
00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:25,334
"Arnold, I gathered your
Friends... Your friends...
392
00:18:25,403 --> 00:18:27,215
So that they could
Stab you in the back"?
393
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,383
Arnold, come on,
Now, back off, man.
394
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:29,605
You got the wrong idea.
395
00:18:29,674 --> 00:18:31,675
Come on, arnold. We're
Here, we care about you.
396
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,220
Arnold, man, drinking
That junk, man,
397
00:18:33,244 --> 00:18:34,789
That's not your answer,
Man, that's your problem.
398
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:36,090
Come on, give it to him!
399
00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:37,992
The only problem I've
Got is finding myself
400
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:41,884
A new set of friends.
401
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,052
Arnold!
402
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:44,321
Arnold, wait.
403
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,224
Arnold, wait!
404
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,092
Now, I can't stop
You from drinking,
405
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,694
But I won't stand for
You doing it on my time.
406
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,608
You bring one more
Bottle into this school,
407
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,898
And I'll personally see to
It that you and the bottle
408
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:56,967
Are tossed out.
409
00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:58,780
All right, now,
You listen to me.
410
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,804
I am sick and tired
Of your interference.
411
00:19:00,872 --> 00:19:04,607
You stay out of my locker,
And you stay out of my life!
412
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:09,946
What's all the commotion?
413
00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:12,615
I can hear you
Clear down the hall.
414
00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:15,952
It's nothing, mr. Woodman,
Just a personal problem.
415
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:20,624
So I see.
416
00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:22,626
Oh, mr. Woodman.
417
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:25,327
That's a good start, jean.
418
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:29,999
♪
419
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,204
♪ shake, shake, shake ♪
420
00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:36,673
♪ shake, shake, shake ♪
421
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,307
♪ shake your booty ♪
422
00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:40,143
♪ shake your... ♪
Oh, jean.
423
00:19:40,211 --> 00:19:41,455
I want to ask you a question.
424
00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:42,790
- yeah?
- what's a booty?
425
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:44,046
Why do you ask?
426
00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:47,517
I want to make sure I'm
Shakin' the right thing.
427
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,096
Don't worry about
It, mr. Woodman.
428
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:53,490
If you shake it, you'll know it.
429
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,592
♪ shake, shake, shake ♪
430
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:58,261
The boys has arrived.
431
00:19:58,329 --> 00:20:00,430
Let the good times roll.
432
00:20:00,498 --> 00:20:01,965
My, you look fine.
433
00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,045
Yeah, yeah, that's one of
The advantages of having
434
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,836
An uncle in the dry
Cleaning business, you know?
435
00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:08,683
Yeah, it's just a shame
That we gotta get 'em
436
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:12,208
Back in their plastic
Bags by the morning.
437
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:13,821
Hey, mrs. Tremaine, have
You seen arnold yet?
438
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,912
No, but I'm keeping
An eye out for him.
439
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,124
Well, you know what they say.
440
00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:18,693
Eight eyes are better than two,
441
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,049
So we'll help you.
442
00:20:20,117 --> 00:20:21,150
All right.
443
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,563
Hey, why don't
You take the girls
444
00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:23,898
And powder your corsages.
445
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,689
We'll meet you over here in
A couple minutes, all right?
446
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:28,324
See you later, baby.
447
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:35,898
Never fear, the
Horshack is here.
448
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,804
Mary, mary, what have we here?
449
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,273
Epstein.
450
00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:44,674
Where's the funeral?
451
00:20:44,742 --> 00:20:48,077
Arnold, arnold, please.
452
00:20:48,146 --> 00:20:51,814
Um, uh, mary, uh,
You look lovely.
453
00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,127
She looks lovely, doesn't she?
454
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:55,018
Mary, you look great, and, um...
455
00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:56,797
You mind if, um, if
We have a little talk
456
00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:57,965
With arnold for a few minutes?
457
00:20:57,989 --> 00:20:59,333
We have a little
Unfinished business.
458
00:20:59,357 --> 00:21:02,792
We'll bring him right back,
Don't worry about it, all right?
459
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,005
Guys, get your hands off me!
460
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,206
You better shape up, pal.
461
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,440
If mrs. Tremaine finds
You in this condition,
462
00:21:06,464 --> 00:21:07,976
She's gonna kick
You out the dance.
463
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,710
Forget about the dance, she's
Gonna kick you out of school.
464
00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:11,478
Arnold horshack,
Kicked out of school?
465
00:21:11,502 --> 00:21:12,502
I'll drink to that.
466
00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:13,715
Not in front of me, you ain't.
467
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:14,749
All right, epstein,
Give me that bottle!
468
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,740
Come on, you don't
Need that stuff!
469
00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:19,653
What's happening here?
What's going on here?
470
00:21:19,677 --> 00:21:23,580
You've been asking
For this all week long!
471
00:21:23,648 --> 00:21:25,047
Mary!
472
00:21:25,116 --> 00:21:26,682
Oh, mary!
473
00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:28,184
Mary, what have I done?
474
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:29,486
Mary!
475
00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:32,455
It's only our second
Date, and I've killed her!
476
00:21:34,859 --> 00:21:36,759
Somebody call a doctor, quick!
477
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:39,229
Arnold, arnold, listen to
See if her heart is beating.
478
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:41,631
Listen to see if
Her heart is beating!
479
00:21:41,699 --> 00:21:43,133
Mary, forgive me!
480
00:21:46,671 --> 00:21:48,838
It's beating, it's beating!
481
00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:50,551
It's beating, she's alive!
482
00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:53,176
She's alive!
483
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,005
So why don't she wake up?
484
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,313
She's knocked out, give
Her some air, arnold.
485
00:21:57,381 --> 00:21:58,314
Give her air.
486
00:21:58,382 --> 00:21:59,393
Give her air, everybody.
487
00:21:59,417 --> 00:22:00,461
Move back, give her air.
488
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,485
Mary, mary, please.
489
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,520
Mary, I'm so sorry.
490
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:03,765
I didn't mean, really I didn't.
491
00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:05,789
Mary, please. Mary, wake up!
492
00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:11,294
Mary, why won't you speak to me?
493
00:22:11,362 --> 00:22:13,296
Arnold?
494
00:22:13,364 --> 00:22:16,365
I don't go this far
On a second date.
495
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,845
Mary?
496
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,980
Are you all right?
497
00:22:31,049 --> 00:22:34,117
I've been better.
498
00:22:34,185 --> 00:22:38,087
Mary, I'm... I'm so sorry.
499
00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,889
I don't know what
Happened, it's just...
500
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:43,026
It's just that you
Were drinking, arnold,
501
00:22:43,094 --> 00:22:47,596
And you've got to stop.
502
00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:50,066
I only did it to impress you.
503
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,179
I would never do anything
To hurt you, mary, never ever.
504
00:22:52,203 --> 00:22:54,337
Arnold, don't you see,
When you hurt yourself,
505
00:22:54,405 --> 00:22:57,073
You hurt me the most.
506
00:22:57,141 --> 00:23:01,845
Besides, it's the real
You I'm impressed with.
507
00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:04,547
You really mean that?
508
00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:08,884
I really do.
509
00:23:08,953 --> 00:23:12,522
Who needs liquor?
510
00:23:12,590 --> 00:23:17,327
I got love.
511
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:29,705
Nice, huh?
512
00:23:29,774 --> 00:23:31,007
What's wrong, freddie?
513
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:35,845
Oh, I-I just got
Something in my eye.
514
00:23:45,457 --> 00:23:47,190
♪
515
00:23:51,495 --> 00:23:54,196
♪ welcome back ♪
516
00:23:54,265 --> 00:23:57,866
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
517
00:23:57,935 --> 00:24:00,169
♪ welcome back ♪
518
00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:05,074
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
519
00:24:05,143 --> 00:24:07,109
♪ well the names
Have all changed
520
00:24:07,178 --> 00:24:09,379
Since you hung around ♪
521
00:24:09,447 --> 00:24:11,647
♪ but those dreams have remained
522
00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:13,716
And they've turned around ♪
523
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,785
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
524
00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:17,820
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
525
00:24:17,889 --> 00:24:19,788
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
526
00:24:19,857 --> 00:24:22,024
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
527
00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:24,026
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
528
00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:26,195
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
529
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,431
♪ welcome back ♪
530
00:24:28,499 --> 00:24:32,901
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
531
00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:35,037
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
532
00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:37,807
♪ welcome back ♪
533
00:24:37,876 --> 00:24:41,577
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪
534
00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:43,913
♪ welcome back ♪
535
00:24:43,981 --> 00:24:45,915
♪ and I smile when I think
536
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:48,551
How you must've been ♪
537
00:24:48,619 --> 00:24:50,820
♪ and I know what a scene
538
00:24:50,888 --> 00:24:52,855
You were learnin' in ♪
539
00:24:52,924 --> 00:24:54,957
♪ was there
Something that made you
540
00:24:55,026 --> 00:24:57,059
Come back again ♪
541
00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:59,461
♪ then what could ever lead ya ♪
542
00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:01,108
♪ what could ever lead ya ♪
543
00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:03,232
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
544
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:05,467
♪ back here where we need ya ♪♪
39530
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