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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:07,171 Hey, juan epstein, just the Guy I've been wanting to see. 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,851 Okay, now, you See this right here? 3 00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:11,575 Pick a card, any card, go ahead. 4 00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,456 All right now, both of Y'all look at that card. 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,712 Y'all lookin' at it? 6 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,781 Okay, rip it in half. 7 00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:20,251 Okay, rip it in half again. 8 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,054 Okay, throw it over Your right shoulder. 9 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:26,757 That card was The... Seven of clubs. 10 00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:28,159 Wrong. 11 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:31,462 Okay, pick another card. 12 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,998 - okay, rip it in half. - guys, guys, oh, guys. 13 00:00:34,066 --> 00:00:35,811 Boy am I in trouble, You gotta help me. 14 00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,612 This is the worst thing That ever happened to me. 15 00:00:37,636 --> 00:00:38,970 Don't tell me. 16 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:42,506 You wore out a foot In your dr. Dentons. 17 00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:44,642 Will you come On? This is serious. 18 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,778 Oh, you wore out both foots. 19 00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:50,581 Look, arnold, don't mind These clowns over here. 20 00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,650 You just tell uncle Juan what ails ya. 21 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,186 Well, uncle juan, 22 00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:58,356 Last night, mary Johnson called me up 23 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,324 And asked me to That party tonight. 24 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,259 Oh, you... You turned Her down, huh? 25 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:06,063 Oh, worse, I said yes. 26 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,465 What am I gonna do? 27 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:10,701 Well, for starters, you Can go to the party with her. 28 00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,870 I can't do that! 29 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:15,739 Every time... I'm around her, 30 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,975 I-I freeze up, my... My... 31 00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:21,179 My tongue gets all tied And my hands get all sweaty. 32 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:24,748 Ooh, arnold. 33 00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:27,551 Sounds like, uh, you in love. 34 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,753 Ooh! 35 00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:30,954 Either that, 36 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:34,825 Or you got a case of Hoof-and-mouth disease. 37 00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:36,627 That's it, that's it. 38 00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,796 Every time I'm around Her, I open my mouth 39 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,898 And I put my hoof in it. 40 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,768 I mean, it was a lot easier 41 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,270 To talk to her when we Was just friends, you know, 42 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:49,807 But now, now she's a date And everything is different. 43 00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:51,320 Arnold, arnold, now look. 44 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:54,312 Communicating with the Opposite sex isn't that difficult. 45 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:57,381 Just forget they're girls and Pretend they're regular people. 46 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,749 Yeah, come on, guy. 47 00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:01,552 You're a man, she's a woman. 48 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:04,888 You're tough, she's soft. 49 00:02:04,957 --> 00:02:08,426 Blow in her ear, she'll love it. 50 00:02:08,494 --> 00:02:10,105 But what if it makes her mad? 51 00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:12,930 Oh, arnold, don't Worry about nothin', man. 52 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,499 Most chicks don't throw A punch on the first date. 53 00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:18,402 Okay, okay, I'll Try, I'll be tough. 54 00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,569 I'll be mean. 55 00:02:19,638 --> 00:02:22,139 I'll be macho man. 56 00:02:22,207 --> 00:02:24,575 Macho man, all Right, here we go. 57 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,776 Hi, guys. 58 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:33,583 Can arnold come out and play? 59 00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:35,419 Hi, arnold. 60 00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:39,223 Is our date still On for tonight? 61 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,659 What time will you pick me up. 62 00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,331 Okay. 63 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,132 See ya at seven. 64 00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:51,168 Bye. 65 00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,823 You see what I mean? If I don't find some way 66 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,290 To impress her at That party tonight, 67 00:03:02,314 --> 00:03:03,859 She's never gonna Go out with me again. 68 00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:05,294 Oh, arnold, come on. 69 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,028 Relax, take it easy, You're gonna be all right. 70 00:03:07,052 --> 00:03:08,964 You're gonna do just fine, Don't worry about nothin'. 71 00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:10,732 Yeah, but, what am I gonna say to her 72 00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,656 When she asks Why I'm not talking? 73 00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,025 Just tell her you're A little hoarse. 74 00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:21,866 Hey, arnold. 75 00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:23,445 Listen, I couldn't Help but overhear. 76 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:25,113 You know, you're Having a little problem 77 00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:29,139 With the females of The opposite sex, huh? 78 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,119 That's none of your Business, carvelli. 79 00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:32,688 Well, arnold, come on, look, 80 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,512 I'm not gonna spread this Around the school, you know? 81 00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,414 Look, I'm not that kind of guy. 82 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:41,151 Yeah, there ain't No money in that. 83 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,420 Look, for a small fee, 84 00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,556 I can fix you up With a magic potion 85 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,758 That will give you The, uh, the courage 86 00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:48,992 That you need. 87 00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:50,394 Yeah, what is it? 88 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:51,562 Come over here. 89 00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,230 Murray. 90 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,300 Arnold, check it out. 91 00:03:56,369 --> 00:04:00,937 Liquid backbone. 92 00:04:01,006 --> 00:04:02,918 This is whiskey, I Don't want this. 93 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,008 You don't want it? 94 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,687 Hey, no problem, look, arnold, 95 00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:07,871 There's lots of people who Pay cash for this, you know? 96 00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:09,179 It's fine, look, 97 00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:11,515 You want to make a fool Outta yourself in front of mary, 98 00:04:11,583 --> 00:04:12,995 That's all right with me. 99 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,284 Here, I'll bill ya. 100 00:04:14,353 --> 00:04:20,023 Come on, murray, Let's go... Hey, carvel... 101 00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:28,532 ♪ 102 00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:37,507 ♪ welcome back ♪ 103 00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:41,178 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 104 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,480 ♪ welcome back ♪ 105 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:48,385 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 106 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,421 ♪ well the names Have all changed 107 00:04:50,489 --> 00:04:52,690 Since you hung around ♪ 108 00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,958 ♪ but those dreams have remained 109 00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:57,027 And they've turned around ♪ 110 00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:59,096 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 111 00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:01,109 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 112 00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,100 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 113 00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:05,336 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 114 00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:07,338 ♪ yeah we tease him a lot 115 00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:09,506 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 116 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,742 ♪ welcome back ♪ 117 00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:16,213 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪ 118 00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:18,382 ♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪ 119 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,417 ♪ yeah we tease him a lot 120 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,620 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 121 00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:24,789 ♪ welcome back ♪ 122 00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:29,159 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪ 123 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:33,530 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪ 124 00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:39,469 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪♪ 125 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,979 Have you seen Arnold this morning? 126 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:52,149 He was acting so strangely At the party last night. 127 00:05:52,217 --> 00:05:53,951 Berserk was more like it. 128 00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:56,754 You know, he was even acting Weird when he picked me up. 129 00:05:56,823 --> 00:06:00,424 Kept calling my Mother "Tootsie." 130 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:01,792 You think that's weird? 131 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:05,396 That's what he was calling Me all last night, too. 132 00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:07,184 When I got a ride Home with sally, 133 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,777 He was dancing on a tabletop. 134 00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,145 Yeah, well, you Shoulda stuck around 135 00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:11,780 Till two o'clock in the morning. 136 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:14,404 He challenged the Football team to a fight. 137 00:06:14,473 --> 00:06:15,572 Arnold? 138 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:16,840 That's crazy! 139 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,520 No, the crazy thing Was that he had 140 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,778 The whole football Team all scared. 141 00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:24,515 Good morning. 142 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,950 - good morning. - good morning. 143 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:28,819 As you know, your Poetry assignments 144 00:06:28,887 --> 00:06:30,254 Are due this morning. 145 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:35,392 Mr. Epstein, I think We'll start with you. 146 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,365 Epstein! 147 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,533 Your poem. 148 00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:47,838 The title of my poem is "Fleas." 149 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,407 Adam had 'em. 150 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,946 I see. 151 00:06:56,015 --> 00:07:01,918 In that case, the title Of your mark is "F." 152 00:07:01,987 --> 00:07:04,521 Tough stuff. 153 00:07:10,729 --> 00:07:12,440 All right, tremaine, What's the big idea 154 00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:17,500 Starting class without me? 155 00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:19,347 Well, you'll have to Forgive me, arnold, 156 00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:21,331 I just don't know What came over me. 157 00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:22,918 The bell rang, and Before I knew it, 158 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,843 I'd started the class. 159 00:07:25,911 --> 00:07:28,345 All right, all right, all Right, I'll let it pass this time. 160 00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:30,547 But next time, you watch it. 161 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:33,650 Thank you so much. 162 00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:36,553 Now, I'm not trying To push my luck here, 163 00:07:36,621 --> 00:07:38,788 But, uh, you wouldn't Happen to have 164 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:41,891 A tardy excuse On you, would you? 165 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,628 You want a tardy excuse? 166 00:07:44,696 --> 00:07:47,031 I'll give you a tardy excuse. 167 00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:49,466 I'm tardy, excuse me! 168 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,651 You're gonna have To excuse arnold. 169 00:07:56,675 --> 00:08:02,412 He gets a little cranky When his malt-o-meal is lumpy. 170 00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:06,349 Yeah, how would you like A lumpy lip, sheep head? 171 00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:15,059 Boy, you people are dreary. 172 00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:20,297 Not you, baby. 173 00:08:20,365 --> 00:08:22,299 All right, mr. Horshack. 174 00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:24,534 Since you seem to have The attention of the class, 175 00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:26,381 Why don't you just Get up on your feet 176 00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,305 And give us your Poetry assignment? 177 00:08:28,373 --> 00:08:31,374 It would be my pleasure. 178 00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:43,487 There was an old Man from nantucket 179 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,067 Who got his head Stuck in a bucket... 180 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:49,225 - arnold, that is enough! - oh, come on! 181 00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:51,105 Come on, loosen Up, this is a killer. 182 00:08:51,129 --> 00:08:53,797 Arnold, that's enough. I want you to sit down. 183 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,000 I will not sit down, I Want to read my poem, 184 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,869 And anybody that tries to stop Me is looking for big trouble. 185 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,105 Well, trouble is my middle name. 186 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,340 Arnold, guy, come on, huh? 187 00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:05,141 Grab a seat, it ain't Worth all this, huh? 188 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,121 Are you gonna let me Read my poem or not? 189 00:09:07,145 --> 00:09:08,890 Hey, arnold, come On, man, cut it out, man. 190 00:09:08,914 --> 00:09:10,091 She said sit down, sit down. 191 00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:11,982 I will not sit down! 192 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:15,385 Arnold, please. 193 00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:18,288 You people are All makin' fun of me. 194 00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:20,435 Don't think I don't know it, You've been makin' fun of me 195 00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,236 All my life, but you're Not gonna do it anymore. 196 00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:23,905 Nobody's making Fun of you, arnold. 197 00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:27,631 And another thing! 198 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,701 You're going to the prom With me on friday night. 199 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,704 I'll pick you up at 8:30. 200 00:09:41,613 --> 00:09:45,048 Well, he sure got over His shyness with girls. 201 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,108 - here, two bucks? - yeah. 202 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:03,466 Say, arnold, we're here to Pick up our tickets for the prom. 203 00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:04,913 Oh, gee, I'm sorry, guys, 204 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,614 But we sold out the Prom tickets yesterday. 205 00:10:06,638 --> 00:10:08,116 Well, what are You talkin' about? 206 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:10,151 You said you were gonna save Those discount tickets for us 207 00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:11,553 So we can get our cash together. 208 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,488 Yeah, now we gotta pay Full price at the door. 209 00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:16,880 Yeah, I-I never Said any such thing. 210 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,393 You did to, how Could you forget? 211 00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:19,995 It was just the day Before yesterday. 212 00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,162 Look, are you calling me a liar? 213 00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:22,263 I'm not calling you a liar. 214 00:10:22,287 --> 00:10:24,587 I'm calling you A pea brain, pal. 215 00:10:24,656 --> 00:10:27,824 Anybody with half a mind would Remember a promise to a friend. 216 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:32,062 Oh, juan, juan, you know me. 217 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,898 I don't forget my promises... 218 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,301 To my friends. 219 00:10:37,369 --> 00:10:39,770 I don't believe this. 220 00:10:39,838 --> 00:10:43,607 I gotta get going here, Mr. Benedict arnold horshack. 221 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,141 I don't believe it! 222 00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:47,578 Looks to me like arnold's Had a blowout of the brain 223 00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:50,046 And he's ridin' on the rims. 224 00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:56,220 Hey, guys! 225 00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,687 Guys! 226 00:10:57,756 --> 00:11:01,491 Guys, don't you run away mad! 227 00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:06,830 Just run away. 228 00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:12,069 "Just run away," that's Pretty good, "Just run away." 229 00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:13,937 "Just run away." 230 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,669 Hey, hey, freddie, my main man! 231 00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,593 What's shakin', huh? 232 00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:39,062 Your teeth if you Don't straighten up. 233 00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,342 Arnold, where's Your head at, man? 234 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,809 You're leaving the counter Here with nobody here. 235 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,099 What's wrong with you? 236 00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,946 Hey, come on, man, ease Up, don't blow a gasket. 237 00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,748 I was just... I was just around The corner at my locker. 238 00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,950 Look, I don't care what you was Doing, you understand me, man? 239 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,552 You're never supposed to leave The counter with money on it. 240 00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:51,875 What's wrong with you? 241 00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,210 Oh. 242 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,822 You don't like the Money on the counter. 243 00:11:54,846 --> 00:11:56,190 No, I don't like the Money on the counter. 244 00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:59,316 - that's the problem? - yeah, that's the problem. 245 00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:00,384 End of problem. 246 00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:01,763 What's the matter With you, arnold? 247 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,231 - are you crazy or something? - yeah, I'm crazy. 248 00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:05,536 I'm crazy to think that I could Ever be partners with you. 249 00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:08,292 Look, you want to run the Store school, you got it! 250 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,294 Run it into the Ground for all I care. 251 00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:12,202 It's all right, I'll Take care of this. 252 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,508 Here, freddie, let me help you. 253 00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:14,664 You want to help me? 254 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,244 You just keep Arnold out of my sight 255 00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:18,113 Before I make him a Permanent part of that locker. 256 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:19,614 Just cool down a little bit now. 257 00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:22,940 Let me see what I Can do about this. 258 00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,409 You redecorating, arnold? 259 00:12:25,477 --> 00:12:27,210 What's it to you? 260 00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:29,223 Well, I've been wondering What's been keeping you 261 00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:31,848 Out of my class for The last couple of days. 262 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,528 Is something the matter? 263 00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:37,087 Yes, something is the Matter, mrs. Tremaine. 264 00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:39,456 You see... 265 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,470 I'm sick and tired of Everybody asking me 266 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,537 If something's the matter. 267 00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:44,305 I'm fine, okay? I'm just fine. 268 00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:46,196 Never better. 269 00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:48,209 Now why don't you just Go peddle your poetry 270 00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:50,266 And leave me alone? 271 00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,429 And I'm telling you If you don't cough up 272 00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:09,998 More money for lab animals, 273 00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:13,924 The students are gonna Start dissecting each other! 274 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:17,794 Hey, that's not a bad idea. 275 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,374 Mr. Woodman, I hate To interrupt you 276 00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,866 When you're having Such a good time. 277 00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:25,769 I have to speak to you On a very serious matter. 278 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,405 Uh, it has to do with A drinking problem. 279 00:13:28,473 --> 00:13:31,975 Well, if it's a student who's Drinking, we'll expel him. 280 00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:34,478 That wasn't so tough, was it? 281 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:38,582 Mr. Woodman, let's just Forget that you're the principal 282 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,517 And that I'm the Teacher for a moment, 283 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:45,555 And let's just say I'm Talking about a friend of mine. 284 00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:47,657 Oh. 285 00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:50,593 Oh, I get it. 286 00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:51,828 Have a seat, jean. 287 00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:55,598 Uh, thank you. 288 00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,867 Now, uh, 289 00:13:57,936 --> 00:14:00,603 Tell me all about Your friend's troubles. 290 00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:03,273 Well, this just Started recently, 291 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,343 But already I've seen some Signs of alcohol abuse, 292 00:14:06,411 --> 00:14:08,290 And there's been a Personality change 293 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:11,381 And a lot of snapping At the, um, kids in class 294 00:14:11,449 --> 00:14:15,218 And just a general Decline in the school work. 295 00:14:15,286 --> 00:14:18,889 Oh, sorry. 296 00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:22,592 What about... Loss Of coordination? 297 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,227 Yes, and that, too. 298 00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,330 Uh, mr. Woodman, this person 299 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:29,666 Has already come To school drunk. 300 00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:31,267 Tell me, dear. 301 00:14:31,336 --> 00:14:35,605 Does this person take a drink First thing in the morning? 302 00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:38,441 I don't know, only my friend Could answer that for sure. 303 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,145 Well, of course, your Friend is very clever. 304 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:45,315 Mr. Woodman, I just Don't know what to do. 305 00:14:45,383 --> 00:14:46,783 I feel so helpless. 306 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:48,151 Well, of course you do, 307 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,320 But at least you Recognize there's a problem. 308 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,222 That's half the Battle right there. 309 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,224 Now what do I do about it? 310 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:58,528 Well, the first thing you Have to do is get off the sauce. 311 00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,664 Get off the sauce? 312 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,253 You're too bright a woman 313 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,668 To drown your Future in a bottle. 314 00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:06,514 Oh, mr. Woodman, This is not about... 315 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:09,406 I say pull yourself Up by your bootstraps 316 00:15:09,474 --> 00:15:11,641 And never look back! 317 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,977 But mr. Woodman, You've got this all wrong. 318 00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,046 I have not! 319 00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:16,245 I read the same advice 320 00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:19,649 In ann landers' column Yesterday morning, 321 00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:21,618 And annie's never wrong! 322 00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,120 God, I love that woman! 323 00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:28,903 All right, now, all right. 324 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,027 Now, listen to me. 325 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,097 I've asked you all here Because I'm very concerned 326 00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,298 About arnold. 327 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,266 Why didn't you make Arnold miss his lunch? 328 00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:39,068 Yeah, couldn't make Him act any meaner 329 00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,281 Than he's been acting anyway. 330 00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:41,683 You can say that again. 331 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,273 I've called you here because You're all arnold's friends. 332 00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:45,953 That lets us out, murray. Let's get out of here. 333 00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:47,221 Yeah, let's get out of here. 334 00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:48,445 Sit down. 335 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:52,549 And as arnold's friends, I Think you should be made aware 336 00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:55,485 That, well, arnold's Got a drinking problem. 337 00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:59,856 You mean he has Trouble swallowing? 338 00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:03,092 I mean that this personality Change that's come over him 339 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,561 Is because of alcohol. 340 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,796 Come on, come on, horshack Doesn't touch anything 341 00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,831 Stronger than ovaltine. 342 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,667 That's right, and Even then he says 343 00:16:10,735 --> 00:16:14,371 The bubbles tickle his nose. 344 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,150 Well, correct me if I'm wrong, 345 00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:18,675 But I found this In arnold's locker, 346 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:22,045 And I just do not Think this is ovaltine. 347 00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:28,485 It ain't ovaltine. 348 00:16:28,553 --> 00:16:32,455 This is louisiana stunt blower. 349 00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:33,568 Wait a minute, wait a minute, 350 00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,135 Wait a minute, let Me see that here. 351 00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:38,762 Let me see it, beau. 352 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,641 I beg to differ with you, beau. 353 00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,732 This is the finest kentucky Whiskey you can buy 354 00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,668 For a dollar and 37 cents. 355 00:16:45,737 --> 00:16:49,539 Yeah, he say it's High-class rotgut. 356 00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:55,077 Just how much do you Know about this, carvelli? 357 00:16:55,146 --> 00:16:56,591 All I know is I sold the guy 358 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:57,992 A little something Before a party 359 00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,849 To help him calm His nerves, that's all. 360 00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:01,596 How much have You sold him since? 361 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,453 Madam, you offend me deeply. 362 00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:05,554 Now, carvelli is an Entrepreneur, sure, 363 00:17:05,623 --> 00:17:07,368 I'm always out to Make a fast buck, 364 00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:09,592 But I'm not a Corruptor of youth. 365 00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,572 Now, look, arnold may Be drinking like a fish, 366 00:17:11,596 --> 00:17:14,630 But he's not gettin' It from me anymore. 367 00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:17,600 He hasn't even paid me For the first bottle yet. 368 00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:24,040 Maybe he's collecting the Empties for a refund, huh? 369 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:28,045 I think arnold's problem is Too serious to be laughed off. 370 00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:31,981 Are you saying that Arnold is a... Alcoholic? 371 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,816 No, I don't think he has 372 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,254 A physical Dependency on alcohol, 373 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:41,591 But he may be developing An emotional dependency 374 00:17:41,659 --> 00:17:44,361 That could lead to a Physical dependency. 375 00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:46,074 Why haven't we seen him drunk? 376 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,297 Oh, you have, beau. 377 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,632 You don't have to be Sloppy to be drunk. 378 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,102 Alcohol affects Everybody differently, 379 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:55,238 And with arnold, it's A personality change. 380 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:59,176 Are you accusing arnold Horshack of having a personality? 381 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,980 I haven't told Mr. Woodman about this yet, 382 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:07,651 But I will if arnold Doesn't stop drinking. 383 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,920 Now, that's where You guys come in. 384 00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:12,389 You're arnold's friends. 385 00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:14,457 He looks up to You, he trusts you. 386 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,104 Not anymore, he doesn't. 387 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,605 Arnold, I was just Saying to your... 388 00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:19,040 What were you gonna say? 389 00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:21,497 "Arnold, I've been going Through your personal property 390 00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:23,177 So I can get evidence Against you"? 391 00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:25,334 "Arnold, I gathered your Friends... Your friends... 392 00:18:25,403 --> 00:18:27,215 So that they could Stab you in the back"? 393 00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,383 Arnold, come on, Now, back off, man. 394 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:29,605 You got the wrong idea. 395 00:18:29,674 --> 00:18:31,675 Come on, arnold. We're Here, we care about you. 396 00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,220 Arnold, man, drinking That junk, man, 397 00:18:33,244 --> 00:18:34,789 That's not your answer, Man, that's your problem. 398 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:36,090 Come on, give it to him! 399 00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:37,992 The only problem I've Got is finding myself 400 00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:41,884 A new set of friends. 401 00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,052 Arnold! 402 00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:44,321 Arnold, wait. 403 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,224 Arnold, wait! 404 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,092 Now, I can't stop You from drinking, 405 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,694 But I won't stand for You doing it on my time. 406 00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,608 You bring one more Bottle into this school, 407 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,898 And I'll personally see to It that you and the bottle 408 00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:56,967 Are tossed out. 409 00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:58,780 All right, now, You listen to me. 410 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,804 I am sick and tired Of your interference. 411 00:19:00,872 --> 00:19:04,607 You stay out of my locker, And you stay out of my life! 412 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:09,946 What's all the commotion? 413 00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:12,615 I can hear you Clear down the hall. 414 00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:15,952 It's nothing, mr. Woodman, Just a personal problem. 415 00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:20,624 So I see. 416 00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:22,626 Oh, mr. Woodman. 417 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:25,327 That's a good start, jean. 418 00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:29,999 ♪ 419 00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,204 ♪ shake, shake, shake ♪ 420 00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:36,673 ♪ shake, shake, shake ♪ 421 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,307 ♪ shake your booty ♪ 422 00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:40,143 ♪ shake your... ♪ Oh, jean. 423 00:19:40,211 --> 00:19:41,455 I want to ask you a question. 424 00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:42,790 - yeah? - what's a booty? 425 00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:44,046 Why do you ask? 426 00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:47,517 I want to make sure I'm Shakin' the right thing. 427 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,096 Don't worry about It, mr. Woodman. 428 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:53,490 If you shake it, you'll know it. 429 00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,592 ♪ shake, shake, shake ♪ 430 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:58,261 The boys has arrived. 431 00:19:58,329 --> 00:20:00,430 Let the good times roll. 432 00:20:00,498 --> 00:20:01,965 My, you look fine. 433 00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,045 Yeah, yeah, that's one of The advantages of having 434 00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,836 An uncle in the dry Cleaning business, you know? 435 00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:08,683 Yeah, it's just a shame That we gotta get 'em 436 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:12,208 Back in their plastic Bags by the morning. 437 00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:13,821 Hey, mrs. Tremaine, have You seen arnold yet? 438 00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,912 No, but I'm keeping An eye out for him. 439 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,124 Well, you know what they say. 440 00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:18,693 Eight eyes are better than two, 441 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,049 So we'll help you. 442 00:20:20,117 --> 00:20:21,150 All right. 443 00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,563 Hey, why don't You take the girls 444 00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:23,898 And powder your corsages. 445 00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,689 We'll meet you over here in A couple minutes, all right? 446 00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:28,324 See you later, baby. 447 00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:35,898 Never fear, the Horshack is here. 448 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,804 Mary, mary, what have we here? 449 00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,273 Epstein. 450 00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:44,674 Where's the funeral? 451 00:20:44,742 --> 00:20:48,077 Arnold, arnold, please. 452 00:20:48,146 --> 00:20:51,814 Um, uh, mary, uh, You look lovely. 453 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,127 She looks lovely, doesn't she? 454 00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:55,018 Mary, you look great, and, um... 455 00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:56,797 You mind if, um, if We have a little talk 456 00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:57,965 With arnold for a few minutes? 457 00:20:57,989 --> 00:20:59,333 We have a little Unfinished business. 458 00:20:59,357 --> 00:21:02,792 We'll bring him right back, Don't worry about it, all right? 459 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,005 Guys, get your hands off me! 460 00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,206 You better shape up, pal. 461 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,440 If mrs. Tremaine finds You in this condition, 462 00:21:06,464 --> 00:21:07,976 She's gonna kick You out the dance. 463 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,710 Forget about the dance, she's Gonna kick you out of school. 464 00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:11,478 Arnold horshack, Kicked out of school? 465 00:21:11,502 --> 00:21:12,502 I'll drink to that. 466 00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:13,715 Not in front of me, you ain't. 467 00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:14,749 All right, epstein, Give me that bottle! 468 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,740 Come on, you don't Need that stuff! 469 00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:19,653 What's happening here? What's going on here? 470 00:21:19,677 --> 00:21:23,580 You've been asking For this all week long! 471 00:21:23,648 --> 00:21:25,047 Mary! 472 00:21:25,116 --> 00:21:26,682 Oh, mary! 473 00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:28,184 Mary, what have I done? 474 00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:29,486 Mary! 475 00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:32,455 It's only our second Date, and I've killed her! 476 00:21:34,859 --> 00:21:36,759 Somebody call a doctor, quick! 477 00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:39,229 Arnold, arnold, listen to See if her heart is beating. 478 00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:41,631 Listen to see if Her heart is beating! 479 00:21:41,699 --> 00:21:43,133 Mary, forgive me! 480 00:21:46,671 --> 00:21:48,838 It's beating, it's beating! 481 00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:50,551 It's beating, she's alive! 482 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:53,176 She's alive! 483 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,005 So why don't she wake up? 484 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,313 She's knocked out, give Her some air, arnold. 485 00:21:57,381 --> 00:21:58,314 Give her air. 486 00:21:58,382 --> 00:21:59,393 Give her air, everybody. 487 00:21:59,417 --> 00:22:00,461 Move back, give her air. 488 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,485 Mary, mary, please. 489 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,520 Mary, I'm so sorry. 490 00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:03,765 I didn't mean, really I didn't. 491 00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:05,789 Mary, please. Mary, wake up! 492 00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:11,294 Mary, why won't you speak to me? 493 00:22:11,362 --> 00:22:13,296 Arnold? 494 00:22:13,364 --> 00:22:16,365 I don't go this far On a second date. 495 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,845 Mary? 496 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,980 Are you all right? 497 00:22:31,049 --> 00:22:34,117 I've been better. 498 00:22:34,185 --> 00:22:38,087 Mary, I'm... I'm so sorry. 499 00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,889 I don't know what Happened, it's just... 500 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:43,026 It's just that you Were drinking, arnold, 501 00:22:43,094 --> 00:22:47,596 And you've got to stop. 502 00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:50,066 I only did it to impress you. 503 00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,179 I would never do anything To hurt you, mary, never ever. 504 00:22:52,203 --> 00:22:54,337 Arnold, don't you see, When you hurt yourself, 505 00:22:54,405 --> 00:22:57,073 You hurt me the most. 506 00:22:57,141 --> 00:23:01,845 Besides, it's the real You I'm impressed with. 507 00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:04,547 You really mean that? 508 00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:08,884 I really do. 509 00:23:08,953 --> 00:23:12,522 Who needs liquor? 510 00:23:12,590 --> 00:23:17,327 I got love. 511 00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:29,705 Nice, huh? 512 00:23:29,774 --> 00:23:31,007 What's wrong, freddie? 513 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:35,845 Oh, I-I just got Something in my eye. 514 00:23:45,457 --> 00:23:47,190 ♪ 515 00:23:51,495 --> 00:23:54,196 ♪ welcome back ♪ 516 00:23:54,265 --> 00:23:57,866 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 517 00:23:57,935 --> 00:24:00,169 ♪ welcome back ♪ 518 00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:05,074 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 519 00:24:05,143 --> 00:24:07,109 ♪ well the names Have all changed 520 00:24:07,178 --> 00:24:09,379 Since you hung around ♪ 521 00:24:09,447 --> 00:24:11,647 ♪ but those dreams have remained 522 00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:13,716 And they've turned around ♪ 523 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,785 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 524 00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:17,820 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead you ♪ 525 00:24:17,889 --> 00:24:19,788 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 526 00:24:19,857 --> 00:24:22,024 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 527 00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:24,026 ♪ yeah we tease him a lot 528 00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:26,195 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 529 00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,431 ♪ welcome back ♪ 530 00:24:28,499 --> 00:24:32,901 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪ 531 00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:35,037 ♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪ 532 00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:37,807 ♪ welcome back ♪ 533 00:24:37,876 --> 00:24:41,577 ♪ we always could Spot a friend ♪ 534 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:43,913 ♪ welcome back ♪ 535 00:24:43,981 --> 00:24:45,915 ♪ and I smile when I think 536 00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:48,551 How you must've been ♪ 537 00:24:48,619 --> 00:24:50,820 ♪ and I know what a scene 538 00:24:50,888 --> 00:24:52,855 You were learnin' in ♪ 539 00:24:52,924 --> 00:24:54,957 ♪ was there Something that made you 540 00:24:55,026 --> 00:24:57,059 Come back again ♪ 541 00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:59,461 ♪ then what could ever lead ya ♪ 542 00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:01,108 ♪ what could ever lead ya ♪ 543 00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:03,232 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 544 00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:05,467 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪♪ 39530

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