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1
00:00:04,390 --> 00:00:05,730
JENNIFER: What happened to me?
2
00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:16,640
BANNER: I'm sorry. I tried to warn you.
My blood got into your system.
3
00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:20,520
JENNIFER: So I turn into a Hulk now too.
4
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,680
(GROWLS)
5
00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:22,980
Who the hell are you?
6
00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:26,100
-She-Hulk! She-Hulk! She-Hulk!
-HOLLIWAY: Ms Walters?
7
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:29,180
We just started a Superhuman Law Division,
8
00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:32,060
and I want the She-Hulk
to be the face of it.
9
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:34,680
I can't wait to take on whatever case
you assign me...
10
00:00:34,770 --> 00:00:39,140
Your first case is the parole of
Emil Blonsky. Also known as Abomination.
11
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,430
EMIL: Jennifer Walters.
12
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:45,230
I've already got a winning strategy,
and it is 100% in the bag.
13
00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,770
You might wanna
take a look at the news right now.
14
00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:50,520
After shocking footage leaked
showing the Abomination
15
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,980
participating in what appears to be
an underground fight club,
16
00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:55,850
after having escaped from prison.
17
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,980
Do you wanna explain to me
why you failed to mention
18
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:50,730
that you not only escaped from prison,
but you were also recorded doing so?
19
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:53,810
You said to my face that you never
turn into the Abomination anymore.
20
00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:56,560
No, I said I choose not to.
21
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,980
You know, these were
extenuating circumstances.
22
00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:02,730
You understand that
this constitutes another crime
23
00:02:02,810 --> 00:02:04,770
and totally destroys
your chances at parole?
24
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:06,680
What?
25
00:02:06,770 --> 00:02:11,180
Nah, 'cause I was forced to leave my cell,
26
00:02:11,270 --> 00:02:14,810
but I returned of my own free will.
27
00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:19,310
Who forced you to escape this
insanely high-security prison undetected?
28
00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:24,480
A Sorcerer Supreme of the Mystic Arts,
and his name is...
29
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,140
Wong. Just Wong.
30
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,730
And his Internet presence
is a little chaotic.
31
00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:33,020
He's either a sorcerer
who lives in New York,
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00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,180
or a librarian who lives in Nepal.
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00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:36,600
Can you get to him?
34
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,980
Yes, Jen. It's me.
Of course I can get to him.
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00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,850
I sent a thirst trap. It was a picture
of me with a bunch of books.
36
00:02:41,930 --> 00:02:43,810
Yeah, well, let's just hope he calls back.
37
00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:45,350
If Blonsky's telling the truth,
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00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:49,430
this guy busted him out of his prison cell
and probably ruined my entire case.
39
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,480
I know you can't wait to see Wong.
I get it.
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00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,270
I wanna make sure that you don't think
41
00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:58,640
this is one of those cameo every week
type of shows. It's not.
42
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:00,890
Well, except Bruce.
43
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,680
And Blonsky. And Wong.
44
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,520
Just remember whose show this actually is.
45
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:13,850
(NEWS THEME PLAYING)
46
00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:16,810
Attorney Jennifer Walters
of law firm GLK and H
47
00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:21,520
has been tapped to represent Emil Blonsky,
also known as the Abomination,
48
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,560
in his upcoming parole hearing.
49
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,390
The news has stirred up much controversy.
50
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,980
Ever since it's been revealed that
51
00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:30,770
Jennifer Walters has
a superhero alter-ego called She-Hulk,
52
00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:34,730
the statuesque green lawyer
has been plagued by public backlash,
53
00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:37,270
with many questioning her qualifications.
54
00:03:37,430 --> 00:03:44,430
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
55
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:50,060
They took the Hulk's manhood away,
but then they gave it to a woman?
56
00:03:50,770 --> 00:03:53,770
MAN 2: I don't get it. Why are you turning
every superhero into a girl?
57
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:56,730
MAN 3: So we have a MeToo movement,
and now all the male heroes are gone?
58
00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:59,730
I have no problem with female heroes.
Just saying make your own.
59
00:03:59,810 --> 00:04:01,560
I don't know about y'all, but I'd smash.
60
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,560
We have Gideon Wilson, the prosecutor
61
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,430
who put the Abomination away
all those years ago. Gideon.
62
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,100
First, I would like to say,
it is frankly appalling that
63
00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:12,930
anyone would work towards
freeing a monster like the...
64
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,180
-Have you seen this insanity?
-I don't care what anybody says about me.
65
00:04:17,270 --> 00:04:19,520
There's something in this country
called due process.
66
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,890
-Emil deserves a fair hearing.
-You have to respond.
67
00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:24,480
You have to be
in control of your own narrative.
68
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,890
Jennifer Walters speaking.
69
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:29,810
Yes, I will be right there.
70
00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:32,600
Holliway beckons.
71
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:35,270
(SIGHS) Come on. This case is huge.
72
00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:38,180
People wanna know
every single detail about your life.
73
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:39,390
You're a public figure now.
74
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,430
The office has been flooded with
calls and requests for interviews,
75
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,640
so you should do one.
76
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:46,060
People only care
because I'm representing Emil Blonsky.
77
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:48,730
Once that's over,
this whole media circus will die down.
78
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:52,850
No, Jen, this is not gonna go away
just because you're ignoring it.
79
00:04:52,930 --> 00:04:54,640
Every minute I spend on this crap
80
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:57,060
is one less minute
I spend focusing on my job.
81
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,100
DENNIS: This is absolutely ridiculous.
I am incredibly upset.
82
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,060
What kind of office
doesn't have any Red Bulls?
83
00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:04,140
(JENNIFER CLEARS THROAT)
84
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,980
-Dennis.
-No way... Not Jen Walters.
85
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:12,930
Ms. Walters is head
of the Superhuman Law Division.
86
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:16,020
We have too much history for me to be
comfortable with her on the case.
87
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:19,020
I would love to know what this is about
and not work on it.
88
00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:21,520
-You wanted to see me?
-Ah, yes.
89
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,180
Mallory Book is also
in the Superhuman Law Division.
90
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:29,350
Yeah. No, I can't talk to a 10
about embarrassing man stuff.
91
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,060
She could be my next fiancée.
92
00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:33,390
Happy to not be involved.
93
00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:37,480
Is he a lawyer?
He looks cool. I'll take him.
94
00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:42,850
Well, our friend,
Mr. Bukowski from the DA's office,
95
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:47,020
needs help on a delicate matter.
96
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,930
He's been defrauded by an ex-girlfriend
97
00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:52,350
and wants to file a suit against her
to get his money back.
98
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:55,390
Yeah. I bought her jewelry,
flew her to Bali for a photo-shoot,
99
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,560
paid off her Volkswagen Passat.
Subscribed to...
100
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,270
But why the Superhuman Law Division?
101
00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:03,310
The girlfriend in question is
a shapeshifting Light Elf from New Asgard.
102
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:04,520
Wow, Dennis.
103
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,430
Okay. Well, to be fair, I thought
I was dating Megan Thee Stallion.
104
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:08,520
I'm sorry. What?
105
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,640
Sorry. You thought you were
dating Megan Thee Stallion?
106
00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:15,520
Multiple Grammy award-winner megastar
Megan Thee Stallion?
107
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,680
What part of "shapeshifter"
did you not get?
108
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:18,930
(CHUCKLES)
109
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:22,230
-You thought she drove a Passat?
-This is why I don't want Walters.
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00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:23,930
(CHUCKLES) I'm so sorry.
111
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:25,930
(WHOOSHING)
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00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:29,560
Ms. Walters, I received your message.
113
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,020
Uh, Mr. Wong. Great entrance.
Perfect timing.
114
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,600
-I really need to take this.
-You may go.
115
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,730
Thank you. Uh, Pug, good luck.
116
00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:39,890
Dennis...
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00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:41,850
(LAUGHS)
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00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:43,060
Sorry.
119
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,770
Everything Mr. Blonsky told you
is factual.
120
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:49,140
I extracted him from the prison
against his own wishes,
121
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,180
because I required a worthy opponent
122
00:06:51,270 --> 00:06:53,680
as part of my training
to become Sorcerer Supreme.
123
00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:57,560
And as Sorcerer Supreme, I insist that
he not be punished for my actions.
124
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,980
Again, I am not the one
who will be punishing him.
125
00:07:01,060 --> 00:07:03,810
The parole board will not release him
after seeing this video.
126
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:08,020
I know what you're thinking, Ms. Walters,
and I'm not erasing everyone's memories.
127
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:09,100
Not again.
128
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:11,390
That is not what I was thinking.
That is highly unethical.
129
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,810
Yeah, it's also very messy, believe me.
130
00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:16,270
-Okay.
-We'll send him to the Mirror Dimension.
131
00:07:16,350 --> 00:07:18,480
-Don't know what that is, but no.
-Shadow Dimension?
132
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,100
What you can do to help is show up
at the hearing and explain everything.
133
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:26,640
Very well.
We'll reserve sorcery for strategy B.
134
00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:27,850
Don't tap your nose.
135
00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:32,640
PUG: So, Mr. Bukowski,
how much money in cash and gifts
136
00:07:32,730 --> 00:07:35,640
did you spend on
the Megan Thee Stallion imposter?
137
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,640
Oh, man. (GROANS)
138
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:42,600
How about I just say a number,
and you tell me higher or lower, okay?
139
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:47,230
Considering that you bought her
a mid-sized sedan, how about $50,000?
140
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:49,850
100?
141
00:07:50,390 --> 00:07:55,310
-200?
-(CHUCKLES) $200,000? I am not a fool.
142
00:07:56,350 --> 00:08:00,430
-No, it was more like 175.
-100... $175,000?
143
00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,640
That's a house
in parts of the country, Mr. Bukowski.
144
00:08:03,730 --> 00:08:05,180
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, right.
145
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,640
So, are you gonna help me or not?
146
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:11,980
I'm gonna start building your case,
and I will be in touch, Mr. Bukowski.
147
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:14,770
All right.
148
00:08:20,810 --> 00:08:21,850
Okay.
149
00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:27,020
(VIDEO PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
150
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,180
(LAUGHS)
151
00:08:28,270 --> 00:08:32,020
I'm not really Megan Thee Stallion.
152
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:33,810
What's up, bro? How's it hanging, man?
153
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,060
I got a change of heart.
I'm gonna drop the case.
154
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,560
Wait. What? Just now? You just...
155
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:44,640
The truth is, I think somewhere
deep inside, I knew. You know?
156
00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:46,390
I gave those things 'cause I wanted to.
157
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,560
I was just embarrassed
to get found out in such a public way.
158
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:53,930
But at some point in time,
you gotta take personal responsibility.
159
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:57,980
-I have to say, this is unexpected.
-Well, it's just money after all.
160
00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:02,930
And now, I have a...
I got a story to tell.
161
00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:08,810
-(PHONE VIBRATES)
-I'm sorry, Mr... This is Pug.
162
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,480
DENNIS ON PHONE: Hey, man. I think
somebody towed my Cybertruck.
163
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:16,810
They're saying it was a handicapped spot.
I swear it was a Cybertruck spot.
164
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,430
Hello? You there? (LAUGHS)
165
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,810
Your jaw's on the floor
because I drive a Cybertruck.
166
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:22,890
Security!
167
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:29,480
I love harassing women in the workplace.
It's my kick, baby.
168
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:33,430
-Not cool.
-Let that be a warning.
169
00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:35,480
(PEOPLE GASPING SOFTLY)
170
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I don't.
171
00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:40,270
You guys know me.
172
00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:44,600
REPORTER: We're coming to you live from
outside the ultra-high security prison
173
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:49,310
where the man known as the Abomination
will appear before a parole board.
174
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:52,350
There is much public furor
over the possible release of...
175
00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:54,680
Wait. Is that her?
She-Hulk, can we get a word?
176
00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:57,100
Is it true you were
rejected by the Avengers?
177
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,730
That was Jennifer Walters,
also known as She-Hulk,
178
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,430
rumored to have been
rejected by the Avengers.
179
00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:13,270
-Hey. Are you ready for this?
-Yeah.
180
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,810
Uh, are those your soulmates?
181
00:10:16,890 --> 00:10:18,390
-Ah, yeah.
-Okay.
182
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:20,560
Is Wong about?
183
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,430
No. I don't understand how
a guy with zero commute time is late.
184
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,020
We are here today to determine
whether Emil Blonsky is
185
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,640
suitable for return to society
after having served his minimum sentence.
186
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,560
In light of recent evidence
of a prison escape,
187
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,560
I think we all know how this is gonna go.
So, let's keep this brief.
188
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,980
As Mr. Blonsky's counsel, I would love to
address the alleged prison escape.
189
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,520
We do have a witness
190
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,140
who is able to clear Mr. Blonsky
of any wrongdoing on his part.
191
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,770
Then we'll start with that then.
192
00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:55,060
Well, yes, the witness is prepared
to give a statement
193
00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:57,560
after Mr. Blonsky gives his.
194
00:10:58,230 --> 00:11:00,680
MAN: Are we really entertaining
the idea of releasing
195
00:11:00,770 --> 00:11:03,270
someone who's been documented
escaping from prison?
196
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:07,810
Now hold on. Mr. Blonsky,
do you feel you have been rehabilitated?
197
00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:09,230
Uh...
198
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:17,480
Let's start by saying
that I feel great remorse,
199
00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:20,980
great shame to those that I've harmed.
200
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,060
So, to answer your question,
yes, I feel I have been rehabilitated.
201
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:31,270
I've spent every day of my incarceration
focused solely on redemption.
202
00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:33,270
I have changed.
203
00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:37,230
Emotionally, physically,
metaphysically, spiritually,
204
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:40,020
karmically, cosmically,
inter-dimensionally...
205
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,430
Et cetera.
206
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:45,310
What Mr. Blonsky is trying to say
is that the man you see before you
207
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:48,060
is not the same Emil Blonsky as before.
208
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,270
All he wants now
is to be a contributing member of society.
209
00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:54,270
If released,
would you have a place to live?
210
00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:56,480
Yeah. You can rely on that.
211
00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:02,060
Mr. Blonsky does own a plot of land
on which he plans to work and reside.
212
00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:04,180
He's going into farming?
213
00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:08,890
No. Actually, he plans to open
a meditation retreat on the property.
214
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:11,390
So, just very... Well, you know...
215
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:16,100
And how does Mr. Blonsky
intend to fund this endeavor?
216
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,600
Mr. Blonsky is currently
217
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:23,350
in a long-term committed relationship
with several pen pals.
218
00:12:23,430 --> 00:12:26,810
All of whom have pledged
to financially support him.
219
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:28,480
Excuse me. If I could...
220
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,930
-May I clarify? Yeah.
-No.
221
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:36,980
Blair, Ruth, Marta, Sheila, Alejandra,
Yvonne and Nicolette are my soulmates.
222
00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:40,680
We met through the prison pen pal program.
223
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:43,390
They are my better eighths.
224
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,770
(CLICKS TONGUE) Love you.
225
00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:53,180
I don't think we need to get into that
any further. Any other questions?
226
00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:58,100
Blonsky started the prison's
literacy program.
227
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:00,430
He's helped countless prisoners
learn how to read.
228
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,730
He leads guided meditation
and yoga for the prisoners.
229
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:09,140
-(SOBS) He saved me from a bad marriage.
-That's it, Carl. Let it flow.
230
00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:11,890
Now the library is more than
just a quiet place to shiv someone.
231
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:15,980
Instead of toilet wine,
prisoners make toilet kombucha.
232
00:13:16,060 --> 00:13:18,310
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
233
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:20,810
-I release you, Linda.
-Proud of you, Carl.
234
00:13:20,890 --> 00:13:24,230
-I love you so much.
-Yeah, okay, we're done with Carl.
235
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:26,430
(CARL SOBS)
236
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,730
Is that all? Because there's still
the matter of Mr. Blonsky's escape.
237
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:36,730
(ABOMINATION ROARS ON VIDEO)
238
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,180
Uh...
239
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:44,480
Yes, there were extenuating circumstances
that the witness will explain.
240
00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:47,140
(SOFTLY) If he ever decides to show up.
241
00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:53,100
My apologies, Ms. Walters and Emil.
242
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,020
-Ah! Finally.
-I lost track of time.
243
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,270
I've asked Wong here today
244
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:02,230
because he is the man responsible
for Emil Blonsky leaving prison.
245
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:05,890
And I do think you will see this
whole thing in a totally different light
246
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,310
after hearing from him.
247
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,430
Have you ever heard of a kumite?
248
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,680
Mmm-mmm.
249
00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:18,930
I'd like to move for dismissal
of all charges against my client.
250
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,100
On what grounds?
251
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:24,230
Runa is the daughter of an Elfin diplomat
on Asgard and now in New Asgard.
252
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:27,060
-Did you know about this?
-As such, she has diplomatic immunity.
253
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:31,560
She may have diplomatic immunity in
New Asgard, but we are not in New Asgard.
254
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,310
Excuse me, Your Honor,
255
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:38,140
but Asgard is not a place, it is a people.
Therefore, I...
256
00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:41,430
Thor's inspirational speeches
are not admissible in court.
257
00:14:42,270 --> 00:14:44,140
Your Honor, this case is very cut and dry.
258
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:48,850
My client was defrauded of $175,000
by a scam artist.
259
00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:50,560
He deserves compensation
260
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,060
for the financial and emotional trauma
that he's suffered.
261
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:56,230
My client and Mr. Bukowski
were in a consensual relationship
262
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:58,480
-and engaged in role-play.
-Oh, gross.
263
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,310
No rational adult would have
believed my client's texts
264
00:15:01,390 --> 00:15:03,430
-were from the real Megan Thee Stallion.
-(SCOFFS)
265
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,680
Mr. Bukowski knew he was dating Miss Runa
266
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:08,060
and went along with it
until it no longer suited him.
267
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:09,140
I did not.
268
00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:12,060
This was a relationship gone bad,
not a scam.
269
00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:14,600
Mr. Bukowski was blinded by love.
270
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,640
He absolutely believed that he was dating
the real Megan Thee Stallion.
271
00:15:18,730 --> 00:15:23,560
I must say, I find it hard to believe that
Mr. Bukowski could be fooled so easily.
272
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,350
And the onus is on you
to prove that, Mr. Pugliese.
273
00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:29,060
That being said,
I'll allow this to go to trial.
274
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:32,390
So, Miss Runa,
your motion to dismiss is denied.
275
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,520
-(GAVEL BANGS)
-(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
276
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:36,680
Crushed that.
277
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:41,430
And when this is over, I'm canceling
my Hollywood Hookups subscription.
278
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,140
There's clearly no vetting process.
279
00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:47,230
(GAVEL TAPPING)
280
00:15:47,890 --> 00:15:52,180
In light of some new information I have
just received, I'm changing my ruling.
281
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,060
(CHUCKLES)
282
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:56,480
Come on, Runa.
This is getting a little broad.
283
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,020
Impersonating a judge is illegal.
Get down from there.
284
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:04,640
(RUNA LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
285
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:05,730
This is very good for us.
286
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:10,350
Yuck.
287
00:16:10,430 --> 00:16:14,180
In regard to Mr. Blonsky
vacating his cell, I gave him no choice.
288
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,890
But it was absolutely
his choice to return.
289
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:23,640
I offered him asylum at the Kamar-Taj,
which is lovely this time of the year.
290
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,520
But he was quite adamant he be returned
291
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,520
to serve out his sentence
and repay his debt to society.
292
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:32,390
Thank you.
293
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:40,810
So you see, Emil Blonsky was forced
out of his cell against his will.
294
00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:45,390
And even when offered instant freedom,
he chose to return to his cell.
295
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,680
These are not the actions of a criminal
296
00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:51,390
but of a reformed man
who truly wants to do the right thing.
297
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:54,020
Well, that may be true of Emil Blonsky,
298
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,980
but when Blonsky
uncontrollably becomes Abomination,
299
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,350
isn't he a raging monster out for blood?
300
00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:03,730
Uh... Excuse me.
If I could just put your minds at ease...
301
00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:07,310
-JENNIFER: Oh, no, absolutely not.
-Hang on a sec.
302
00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:09,350
-No. No, no.
-What?
303
00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:11,270
Emil. Emil, no.
304
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,850
-It's fine, Jen.
-No, please.
305
00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:17,600
No, no, no, no. You... Don't...
No, no, no, no.
306
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:19,520
(GASPS)
307
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:23,810
Oh, my God.
308
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,480
-No, no, no, no.
-(ALARM BLARING)
309
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,230
Everybody just relax
310
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,810
-Get out of there! Get him...
-(WOMAN SCREAMS)
311
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,980
-Oh, my God!
-Stop, stop, stop, stop.
312
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,640
-Oh, my God.
-Hang on. Force is not necessary.
313
00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:40,180
As you can see, I'm in full control.
314
00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:42,520
That's enough! Change back now!
315
00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:47,060
Get down! Down. He's fine. It's fine.
He's totally fine.
316
00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:48,930
-Emil!
-All right, all right. Calm down.
317
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,600
(BODY MORPHING)
318
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,230
(SIGHS)
319
00:17:56,230 --> 00:17:57,310
Please...
320
00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:58,560
Uh...
321
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:04,730
Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you to forgive
Mr. Blonsky's enthusiasm.
322
00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:08,430
He didn't intend to frighten anyone.
323
00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:13,680
In fact, this proves
that in every instance,
324
00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:20,100
Mr. Blonsky could have broken free
but has chosen to remain in his cell.
325
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:26,180
As his stellar prison record reflects,
Mr. Blonsky spent his entire incarceration
326
00:18:26,270 --> 00:18:30,560
practicing a strict regimen
of training and self-discipline
327
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,600
so that he may
walk among his fellow citizens
328
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:38,680
with no chance of becoming
a rampaging Abomination again.
329
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:42,810
He deserves a future as a free man
and a productive citizen.
330
00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,230
Thank you, Ms. Walters.
331
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:48,230
We will adjourn for today
and consider all of the facts.
332
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:51,350
We will reconvene
once a decision has been reached.
333
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,230
And please,
let's get this man some clothes.
334
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:57,140
-Oh, yeah.
-And as for Mr. Wong...
335
00:18:57,850 --> 00:19:02,140
Just "Wong." The Sorcerer Supreme.
Master of the Mystic Arts.
336
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:04,310
Leader and former librarian of Kamar-Taj.
337
00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:06,310
Yeah. You realize that
338
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:11,180
you've just admitted to facilitating
a prisoner escape, which is a crime.
339
00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:12,310
I must depart.
340
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,680
REPORTER: There she is.
341
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,060
How do you plan to take Blonsky down
when he rampages again?
342
00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:34,850
What about claims that
you're one of Blonsky's rumored soulmates?
343
00:19:34,930 --> 00:19:37,100
Is there any truth to the rumors
you got your powers
344
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:39,180
-from a Mafia hit gone wrong?
-What?
345
00:19:39,270 --> 00:19:44,060
That was Jennifer Walters rushing by,
undoubtedly hoping to avoid the protesters
346
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:46,140
that are gathered
just outside the gates here.
347
00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:49,600
And then I get to my car,
and some protester has written on it,
348
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,520
"Monster defending a monster."
349
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,810
This can go away
with one little interview.
350
00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:57,100
-Good Day LA is thirsty for you.
-No, thank you. Hard pass.
351
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:59,180
-(SCOFFS)
-I cannot wait for this to be over
352
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:02,730
so I can go back to being
a normal anonymous lawyer.
353
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,350
-Who also happens to be a Hulk.
-What are you talking about?
354
00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:10,520
Jen, the genie is out of the bottle, girl.
You are a story now.
355
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,770
Okay, yeah. No. I don't want this.
356
00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:16,640
Oh, my God. You're pregnant
with the Abomination's baby,
357
00:20:16,730 --> 00:20:18,310
and you're flaunting a baby-bump.
358
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:19,980
-That's who the father is?
-Yeah.
359
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:22,810
Good God. Dennis Bukowski.
360
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:26,730
-Yeah. No, you're gonna need that.
-Connecting the A and B story. Nice.
361
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,640
How did you two work with him for so long?
362
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,680
Oh, I killed him in my head several times,
in many different ways.
363
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:35,140
And yet he was convinced
that she had a crush on him.
364
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:38,430
-The man is almost terminally deluded.
-I'd call him gross.
365
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,180
JENNIFER: Yeah. Just gross.
366
00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:42,560
Hey, would you be willing
to say that under oath?
367
00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:45,640
I swear the testimony
I'm about to give today
368
00:20:45,730 --> 00:20:48,140
is the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
369
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:52,390
Hey, P-Dog, how is Jen our best option?
I gave you a whole list of my boys.
370
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,310
Jen is gonna help us clinch this.
Trust me.
371
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:59,520
Ms. Walters, how would you describe
your relationship to Mr. Bukowski?
372
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,640
We worked together for several years
at the DA's office.
373
00:21:02,730 --> 00:21:05,480
Would you say that
you know Mr. Bukowski fairly well?
374
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:09,020
Definitely. We worked regularly
on cases together,
375
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:13,020
so I've spent a lot of time
with Mr. Bukowski.
376
00:21:13,390 --> 00:21:17,020
Did he ever share his personal life
with you? Specifically, his dating life.
377
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:20,020
Yes, he would,
prolifically and unprompted.
378
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:21,310
You wanted to know.
379
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:26,810
How would you characterize Mr. Bukowski
in relation to his romantic life?
380
00:21:28,310 --> 00:21:31,890
Self-absorbed, chauvinistic, conceited.
381
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:36,680
He once described himself
as a New York 10 and an LA 11.
382
00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:38,140
(LAUGHS)
383
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,310
He nicknamed his office the Dennisphere...
384
00:21:41,390 --> 00:21:43,270
Objection. Relevance.
385
00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:47,770
Mr. Bukowski, need I remind you that
you're not representing yourself here?
386
00:21:48,230 --> 00:21:49,850
And this is your witness.
387
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:53,480
But I agree.
Mr. Pugliese, get to your point.
388
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,060
It's been stated many times
in this courtroom
389
00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:58,140
that a man of reasonable intelligence
390
00:21:58,230 --> 00:22:01,390
would never think that he was
dating the real Megan Thee Stallion.
391
00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:06,350
In your opinion, Ms. Walters, do you think
that Dennis Bukowski would believe
392
00:22:06,430 --> 00:22:10,230
that he could actually pull
Megan Thee Stallion?
393
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:15,430
Yes. Dennis Bukowski is
an almost pathologically entitled man.
394
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,810
He would absolutely believe that
he's dating the real Megan Thee Stallion
395
00:22:18,890 --> 00:22:20,980
because he is truly that delusional.
396
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,310
No further questions, Your Honor.
397
00:22:30,180 --> 00:22:35,270
In the case of Bukowski v. Runa,
I award full damages to Dennis Bukowski
398
00:22:35,350 --> 00:22:39,140
in the amount of $175,000.
399
00:22:39,230 --> 00:22:40,350
In addition,
400
00:22:40,430 --> 00:22:46,640
we also sentence the defendant to 60 days
for impersonating a judge.
401
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:48,390
No, no, no, no, no, no.
402
00:22:48,890 --> 00:22:50,890
That's right.
There's only one Megan Thee Stallion.
403
00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:52,310
Make some noise.
404
00:22:53,310 --> 00:22:54,310
Ah!
405
00:22:54,850 --> 00:22:57,520
You guys think I have a shot with
the real Megan Thee Stallion?
406
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:58,600
Should I go back?
407
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,730
No. No. Please, don't do that.
Thanks for that testimony in there, Jen.
408
00:23:01,810 --> 00:23:02,850
It was my pleasure.
409
00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:05,560
The sad part is that elf's just gonna
get a slap on the wrist.
410
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,770
I wish there was a way
we could remove her powers
411
00:23:07,850 --> 00:23:10,140
and make sure
she doesn't victimize anyone else.
412
00:23:10,230 --> 00:23:13,390
Oh! Did Dennis Bukowski
just give me an idea?
413
00:23:14,730 --> 00:23:16,060
That will stay between us.
414
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,850
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
415
00:23:23,350 --> 00:23:26,850
We've just received word
the parole board has reached a decision.
416
00:23:26,930 --> 00:23:30,680
(REPORTERS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
417
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:33,980
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
418
00:23:42,350 --> 00:23:43,850
After reviewing his record,
419
00:23:43,930 --> 00:23:47,560
we hereby grant Mr. Blonsky's release
on parole, effective immediately.
420
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:48,640
Yes.
421
00:23:48,730 --> 00:23:50,850
-(CHEERING)
-MAN: As a condition of his parole,
422
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:54,810
Mr. Blonsky is prohibited from
turning into Abomination indefinitely,
423
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,560
and is ordered
to wear an inhibitor in perpetuity.
424
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:03,140
Any violation of this condition will
result in his immediate return to prison.
425
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,430
Understood. Thank you.
426
00:24:06,140 --> 00:24:09,480
Thank you, Jen.
I'm in your debt, you know.
427
00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:11,100
Spiritually, of course.
428
00:24:11,180 --> 00:24:13,480
Just stay out of the news.
That's all I ask.
429
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,060
I don't wanna read any more stories
about either of us.
430
00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:17,680
You might wanna reconsider that.
431
00:24:17,770 --> 00:24:20,810
They're gonna write a story
about you one way or the other, you know.
432
00:24:20,890 --> 00:24:22,600
Better to be a part of it, really.
433
00:24:24,850 --> 00:24:27,560
(NEWS THEME PLAYING)
434
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,140
The Abomination is now a free man.
435
00:24:30,230 --> 00:24:34,480
Here with us in the studio, the lawyer
responsible for his release, She-Hulk.
436
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,270
Yeah, my name is Jennifer Walters,
not She-Hulk,
437
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:41,270
and my client's name is Emil Blonsky,
not the Abomination.
438
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:42,980
Got it.
439
00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:47,390
The high-profile nature of this case
and the fact that you yourself are a Hulk
440
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,770
has catapulted you into the public eye.
441
00:24:50,270 --> 00:24:53,100
So, tell us, how did you come up
with the name She-Hulk?
442
00:24:53,180 --> 00:24:56,020
Oh! Funny story, I didn't.
443
00:24:56,100 --> 00:24:58,810
Some random guy on the news
came up with it
444
00:24:58,890 --> 00:25:03,180
after thinking about it for,
like, two seconds, but it stuck.
445
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:08,020
So, now whether I like it or not,
I am forever She-Hulk.
446
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:09,730
Great. We have to take a break.
447
00:25:09,810 --> 00:25:13,680
When we come back, She-Hulk shares
her diet and exercise secrets.
448
00:25:13,770 --> 00:25:14,770
JENNIFER: I'm sorry. What?
449
00:25:14,850 --> 00:25:18,640
(NEWS THEME PLAYING)
450
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:33,890
(CAR LOCK CHIMES)
451
00:25:39,140 --> 00:25:40,390
(GASPS)
452
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:43,230
-I got her. Come on, guys. I got her.
-(SCREAMS)
453
00:25:44,770 --> 00:25:45,930
Oh, wait.
454
00:25:50,310 --> 00:25:51,390
Get off me.
455
00:25:52,020 --> 00:25:53,180
(MAN SCREAMS)
456
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,020
If you're gonna strut around
showing off your powers,
457
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:00,680
you better be able to back it up.
458
00:26:00,770 --> 00:26:04,390
When did I ever strut around
and show off my powers?
459
00:26:10,350 --> 00:26:12,980
Did you guys rob
an Asgardian construction worker?
460
00:26:14,060 --> 00:26:15,060
Yeah.
461
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,020
All right, let's do this.
462
00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:18,600
(MEN GRUNTING)
463
00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:22,890
(MEN GRUNTING)
464
00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:27,930
Sorry.
465
00:26:28,390 --> 00:26:29,600
(GROANS)
466
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:34,930
(CROOK SCREAMS)
467
00:26:36,140 --> 00:26:37,930
MALE VILLAIN: Okay, bad idea, bad idea.
468
00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:39,180
-Fall back!
-CROOK: Go, go, go!
469
00:26:42,350 --> 00:26:45,520
Okay, fellas, I admit
that did not go exactly as I imagined it.
470
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,980
Thunderball, did you get it?
471
00:26:47,060 --> 00:26:52,020
No. Once she turned into She-Hulk,
I couldn't pierce that nasty green skin.
472
00:26:52,100 --> 00:26:54,140
MALE VILLAIN: Damn it.
Boss is gonna be mad.
473
00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:55,430
(SIGHS)
474
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,060
(PHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE)
475
00:28:56,430 --> 00:28:58,560
Hi. There's my new favorite client.
476
00:28:59,350 --> 00:29:01,430
Just... Just your signature there.
477
00:29:02,230 --> 00:29:04,890
And then just initial. Good.
478
00:29:04,980 --> 00:29:06,600
And initials up here.
479
00:29:08,310 --> 00:29:09,810
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
480
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:13,770
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
481
00:29:15,060 --> 00:29:16,140
Huh.
482
00:29:23,730 --> 00:29:26,310
Oh, you are way more fun
than my last lawyer.
483
00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:29,310
-I will kill for you, Megan Thee Stallion.
-Dial it back.
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