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1
00:00:04,033 --> 00:00:05,658
Charles, this is exciting.
2
00:00:06,284 --> 00:00:07,910
-Medal of Valor.
-I know!
3
00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:09,569
For getting shot in the butt.
4
00:00:12,123 --> 00:00:14,000
Oh, my butt.
5
00:00:14,542 --> 00:00:17,752
For exceptional acts of heroism
or voluntary risk of personal safety.
6
00:00:17,836 --> 00:00:19,087
But you know, six of one.
7
00:00:19,588 --> 00:00:21,673
This is one of the NYPD's highest honors.
8
00:00:22,007 --> 00:00:23,757
Today is your day, Detective Boyle.
9
00:00:25,343 --> 00:00:27,762
Heroism can't be measured
by a piece of metal,
10
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,221
but what else can we do
11
00:00:29,305 --> 00:00:30,931
to recognize the brave officers
12
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:33,040
that have put their lives on the line.
13
00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:34,518
It is my great honor
14
00:00:34,685 --> 00:00:36,135
to present the Medal of Valor
15
00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:38,021
to Detective Charles Boyle.
16
00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:42,067
And Sergeant Peanut Butter!
17
00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:45,527
[ALL CHEERING]
18
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,321
[WHISTLING]
19
00:00:50,824 --> 00:00:51,825
Oh, my God!
20
00:00:51,909 --> 00:00:54,109
Charles is getting the
same medal as a horse.
21
00:00:54,328 --> 00:00:56,078
At least, Boyle was announced first.
22
00:00:56,162 --> 00:00:57,789
Because the horse outranks him!
23
00:00:58,081 --> 00:01:00,500
This is amazing! That's enough, Peralta.
24
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,460
This is a huge honor, and nothing
can take that away from him.
25
00:01:03,544 --> 00:01:05,244
The horse is pooping on the stage.
26
00:01:05,545 --> 00:01:07,297
Sergeant Peanut Butter
is pooping on the stage!
27
00:01:07,381 --> 00:01:08,423
[NICKERING]
28
00:01:08,507 --> 00:01:10,509
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
29
00:01:31,611 --> 00:01:33,405
Peralta. Santiago.
30
00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:35,480
The bet ends today. Are you ready?
31
00:01:35,572 --> 00:01:36,948
I was born ready. To lose?
32
00:01:37,032 --> 00:01:38,617
The whole question was,
"Are you ready to lose?"
33
00:01:38,701 --> 00:01:39,993
And you said you were born that way.
34
00:01:40,077 --> 00:01:41,661
Twist my words all you want… Okay.
35
00:01:41,745 --> 00:01:42,995
I'm winning this bet. No.
36
00:01:43,122 --> 00:01:44,747
What bet?
What are you guys talking about?
37
00:01:44,831 --> 00:01:45,831
Seriously?
38
00:01:45,915 --> 00:01:47,875
The bet?
They've been keeping score all year.
39
00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:50,502
It comes up all the time.
What are you doing all day?
40
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,338
Nothing. Why, you wanna hang out?
41
00:01:52,505 --> 00:01:54,505
A year ago today,
Peralta and I made a bet
42
00:01:54,589 --> 00:01:56,174
to prove who's a better detective.
43
00:01:56,258 --> 00:01:58,218
Whoever makes more felony arrests wins.
44
00:01:58,927 --> 00:02:00,762
What are the stakes? And don't say money,
45
00:02:00,846 --> 00:02:02,388
because I know you're in debt.
46
00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:04,556
If you really knew anything about me,
47
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,016
you would've said "crushing debt."
48
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,352
And I'll bet whatever, 'cause
there's no way I'm losing.
49
00:02:08,436 --> 00:02:10,354
What about your car? Oh!
50
00:02:10,938 --> 00:02:12,314
That thing is a date-magnet.
51
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:14,690
I mean, how many girls have
you made out with in that car?
52
00:02:14,774 --> 00:02:17,276
Six? Well, I'm gonna win, so, sure.
53
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,361
Let's bet the car.
54
00:02:18,445 --> 00:02:20,155
No, no, no Jake. Yes.
55
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,730
BOYLE: No, Jakey. No!
That car is your superpower.
56
00:02:23,116 --> 00:02:24,699
Thor would never wager his hammer.
57
00:02:24,783 --> 00:02:25,825
Neil Patrick Harris
58
00:02:25,909 --> 00:02:27,452
would never wager his showmanship!
59
00:02:27,536 --> 00:02:29,329
Losing that car will be the
worst thing in the world for you.
60
00:02:29,413 --> 00:02:32,123
Well, what's the worst thing
in the world for you, Santiago?
61
00:02:32,207 --> 00:02:33,916
Being one of those girls in Jake's car.
62
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,544
Okay. Okay. Okay. Then it is settled.
63
00:02:36,961 --> 00:02:39,505
If Peralta loses, Santiago gets his car.
64
00:02:39,964 --> 00:02:41,048
If Santiago loses,
65
00:02:41,132 --> 00:02:43,133
she goes for a date in said car.
66
00:02:43,383 --> 00:02:44,676
Game on. Game on.
67
00:02:45,927 --> 00:02:47,553
Wow, your handshake is quite firm.
68
00:02:47,637 --> 00:02:49,347
I took a seminar. Where?
69
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,289
And now the score is all tied up.
70
00:02:52,017 --> 00:02:53,017
But not for long.
71
00:02:53,267 --> 00:02:55,217
For, in eight hours, I will win the bet
72
00:02:55,311 --> 00:02:56,687
and take Santiago on the worst date
73
00:02:56,771 --> 00:02:58,171
in the history of the world.
74
00:02:58,731 --> 00:02:59,774
HOLT: Attention.
75
00:02:59,899 --> 00:03:02,275
After today's shift, I'd like
everyone to join me at the bar
76
00:03:02,359 --> 00:03:04,360
for drinks in honor of Detective Boyle
77
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:05,886
and his Medal of Valor.
78
00:03:06,070 --> 00:03:08,030
Oh, my God, is Peanut
Butter gonna be there?
79
00:03:08,114 --> 00:03:10,157
That horse is a damn hero.
80
00:03:10,241 --> 00:03:11,826
Peanut Butter will not be joining us.
81
00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:13,860
He's being feted by the United Nations.
82
00:03:14,703 --> 00:03:15,704
HOLT: As you were.
83
00:03:17,539 --> 00:03:18,916
Pen! You! Ow!
84
00:03:19,541 --> 00:03:22,043
Rolly chair! Gina's desk! Oh, Jake!
85
00:03:22,127 --> 00:03:23,127
No!
86
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:27,507
Captain, hey.
87
00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:29,884
You're looking stoic today. Like a…
88
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:31,719
Wise old oak.
89
00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:35,638
I'm not gonna give you more cases
so you can win your bet with Santiago.
90
00:03:35,722 --> 00:03:37,849
What? Oh, right, the bet. [LAUGHING]
91
00:03:38,225 --> 00:03:39,350
I totally forgot about that.
92
00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:41,561
Well, granted, this friendly
competition has led to you
93
00:03:41,645 --> 00:03:43,345
and Santiago putting in more hours
94
00:03:43,437 --> 00:03:44,687
and arresting more perps.
95
00:03:44,855 --> 00:03:46,155
Especially this last week.
96
00:03:46,899 --> 00:03:48,192
Up by one, Peralta!
97
00:03:48,943 --> 00:03:52,862
Anything you wanna say to your car
before you never see it again? Hmm?
98
00:03:53,446 --> 00:03:54,488
Hey, Santiago.
99
00:03:54,572 --> 00:03:57,992
Do you have any dietary restrictions
that Medieval Times should know about?
100
00:03:58,076 --> 00:04:01,162
Yes, 311? What's the
safest way to set a car on fire?
101
00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:03,831
Oh? Hmm.
102
00:04:04,248 --> 00:04:06,249
Both of you have done exemplary work,
103
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,376
which I appreciate.
104
00:04:07,543 --> 00:04:10,670
And I can see that by the
absolutely no indicators on your face.
105
00:04:10,754 --> 00:04:12,171
However, you are colleagues.
106
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:14,256
And the fallout from this
bet has the potential to put
107
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,440
a strain on your
professional relationship.
108
00:04:16,676 --> 00:04:17,677
Only if I lose.
109
00:04:18,135 --> 00:04:19,185
I'm a terrible sport.
110
00:04:19,345 --> 00:04:21,388
Cases will be assigned
as they usually are.
111
00:04:21,472 --> 00:04:22,472
Dismissed.
112
00:04:28,395 --> 00:04:30,814
Captain! You look… No!
113
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,402
Rosa, hey, would you like to
share a cup of coffee with me?
114
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,336
I got some gorgeous new coffee beans.
115
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,813
Sure. That sounds great.
116
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,115
Isn't that like your fifth
cup of coffee today?
117
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:46,077
I'm trying to counteract the
drowsiness from my pain meds.
118
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:49,122
I took a double dose after
the incident at the ceremony.
119
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,581
PHOTOGRAPHER: Bring
Peanut Butter forward.
120
00:04:51,665 --> 00:04:52,666
Forward.
121
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,752
Uh, can the little guy take
a big step back, please?
122
00:04:55,836 --> 00:04:56,961
My name is Charles Boyle.
123
00:04:57,045 --> 00:04:58,839
I won the same medal as this horse!
124
00:04:59,631 --> 00:05:00,674
[SCREAMS]
125
00:05:01,174 --> 00:05:03,624
The footage from my
fall led the local news, so…
126
00:05:03,885 --> 00:05:05,260
Who's the hero now, Peanut Butter?
127
00:05:05,344 --> 00:05:06,345
Peanut Butter.
128
00:05:06,596 --> 00:05:07,930
[SIGHS] Gina…
129
00:05:08,347 --> 00:05:12,247
You're just trying to hurt me to distract
yourself from your own internal pain.
130
00:05:12,517 --> 00:05:14,769
Also, you should use less conditioner,
131
00:05:14,853 --> 00:05:16,688
because this is a flat mess.
132
00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:20,107
HOLT: What's going on with Boyle?
133
00:05:20,191 --> 00:05:21,817
His pain meds are making him weird.
134
00:05:21,901 --> 00:05:24,778
Oh! Okay. Yes.
135
00:05:24,945 --> 00:05:28,073
This happened to my dad when
he got his vasectomy unreversed.
136
00:05:28,532 --> 00:05:30,659
You get all relaxed
and you have no filter,
137
00:05:30,743 --> 00:05:33,293
and you just start dropping
truth bombs on everyone.
138
00:05:33,536 --> 00:05:35,086
Oh. That explains the elevator.
139
00:05:37,081 --> 00:05:39,131
I'm worried you don't
find me interesting.
140
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:42,210
I'm gonna pretend someone texted me.
Bloop!
141
00:05:44,046 --> 00:05:45,047
[CHUCKLES]
142
00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:47,931
Gina, please, keep an eye on Boyle today.
143
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:50,385
He's gonna say something to the
wrong person and get himself punched.
144
00:05:50,469 --> 00:05:52,302
Sure.
I'd love to see Charles get punched.
145
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:53,387
Try again.
146
00:05:53,471 --> 00:05:55,848
I will stop Charles from getting punched.
147
00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:57,099
Correct.
148
00:05:57,308 --> 00:05:58,309
Great.
149
00:05:59,435 --> 00:06:01,143
[EXHALES] Ladies and gentlemen,
150
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:04,731
I present Carl Laudson, who stole $3,000!
151
00:06:05,273 --> 00:06:07,473
Santiago takes the
lead with one minute left!
152
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:08,902
Suck it, Peralta!
153
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:10,320
Oh, no. That's right.
154
00:06:10,487 --> 00:06:11,487
"Oh, no!"
155
00:06:11,779 --> 00:06:13,738
Oh, no. You don't seem worried.
Why aren't you worried?
156
00:06:13,822 --> 00:06:14,990
Bring in the johns!
157
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,742
I ran a prostitution sting through Vice,
158
00:06:17,826 --> 00:06:19,626
and arrested 30 guys for soliciting.
159
00:06:19,787 --> 00:06:20,786
That's not a felony.
160
00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:22,162
It is when it's your second offense.
161
00:06:22,246 --> 00:06:24,791
Which is the case for
10 of these gentlemen.
162
00:06:24,958 --> 00:06:25,959
Fun fact,
163
00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:27,961
four of them are actually named John.
164
00:06:28,211 --> 00:06:29,211
Ironic.
165
00:06:29,295 --> 00:06:31,595
Anyhoo, ten more for Peralta.
Accept your fate!
166
00:06:31,964 --> 00:06:33,131
Never! Five,
167
00:06:33,465 --> 00:06:36,885
four, three, two… Oh!
168
00:06:36,969 --> 00:06:37,969
One!
169
00:06:38,053 --> 00:06:39,095
Jake wins!
170
00:06:39,179 --> 00:06:40,346
Amy loses!
171
00:06:41,138 --> 00:06:45,267
Celebrate good times Come on!
172
00:06:45,393 --> 00:06:46,644
[ALL CHEERING]
173
00:06:47,728 --> 00:06:48,729
Look!
174
00:06:49,063 --> 00:06:52,857
Celebrate good times Come on! Whoo!
175
00:06:53,817 --> 00:06:54,901
Amy Santiago,
176
00:06:55,694 --> 00:06:57,794
you have made me the
happiest man on Earth.
177
00:06:58,405 --> 00:07:00,572
I spent one whole dollar on this ring.
178
00:07:00,656 --> 00:07:02,574
Will you go on the
worst date ever with me?
179
00:07:02,658 --> 00:07:03,826
You have to say yes!
180
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:05,660
Yes.
181
00:07:05,744 --> 00:07:08,705
-She said yes! She said yes!
-[ALL CHEERING]
182
00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:09,789
This is for you.
183
00:07:09,873 --> 00:07:12,417
…your party with you Come on now!
184
00:07:14,752 --> 00:07:15,920
[HORN HONKING]
185
00:07:18,006 --> 00:07:19,007
[SIGHS]
186
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:20,340
Amy Santiago!
187
00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:21,925
Date time!
188
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,051
Time to date!
189
00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:25,429
Peralta, this outfit is ridiculous.
190
00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:29,812
Chop, chop. There's plenty of embarrassing
to do and only a few hours to do it in.
191
00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:33,978
Happy? Oh, yeah.
192
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,870
You look like every girl at every
Bat Mitzvah I ever had a crush on.
193
00:07:38,232 --> 00:07:39,607
Let's see the bow. [LAUGHS]
194
00:07:39,983 --> 00:07:41,484
Just like Jenny Gildenhorn.
195
00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:43,518
Why do I wish you had braces?
196
00:07:43,611 --> 00:07:45,696
Should we get you braces?
No, that's too much.
197
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:46,781
Here I come.
198
00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:50,158
Nice shorts. Thank you.
199
00:07:50,242 --> 00:07:52,452
Believe it or not, they
were not very expensive.
200
00:07:52,536 --> 00:07:53,828
Do I really have to wear this all night?
201
00:07:53,912 --> 00:07:56,373
You know the rules.
The date starts now and ends at midnight.
202
00:07:56,457 --> 00:07:58,917
I decide what you wear,
what you eat, and where we go.
203
00:07:59,001 --> 00:08:00,000
Oh!
204
00:08:00,084 --> 00:08:01,434
And there is one more rule.
205
00:08:02,712 --> 00:08:03,921
No matter what happens,
206
00:08:05,131 --> 00:08:07,231
you're not allowed
to fall in love with me.
207
00:08:07,633 --> 00:08:08,676
Won't be a problem.
208
00:08:13,805 --> 00:08:16,455
Detective Boyle, I just
wanted to say congratulations.
209
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,050
Your medal was well deserved.
210
00:08:18,143 --> 00:08:19,143
Thank you, sir.
211
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:20,435
Your breath is terrible.
212
00:08:20,519 --> 00:08:22,019
Charles, can I speak with you?
213
00:08:22,688 --> 00:08:24,482
BOYLE: Hey, where's Rosa?
214
00:08:24,732 --> 00:08:26,149
I haven't seen her all night.
215
00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,609
Did you know my wife pays me alimony?
216
00:08:27,693 --> 00:08:29,360
Okay, let's take a seat.
217
00:08:29,652 --> 00:08:31,654
I'm gonna keep an eye
on you all night, little buddy.
218
00:08:31,738 --> 00:08:32,738
BOYLE: Okay. Thanks!
219
00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:33,823
Hey, baby.
220
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:36,159
Hey, baby, happy you made it!
221
00:08:36,826 --> 00:08:39,076
Captain, I'd like you to
meet my wife, Sharon.
222
00:08:39,203 --> 00:08:40,370
Oh, it's so wonderful to meet you.
223
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:41,663
I've heard such great things about you.
224
00:08:41,747 --> 00:08:43,791
And you. Your husband is a real hero.
225
00:08:44,666 --> 00:08:47,043
If you ask me, he should've been
up there with Detective Boyle today.
226
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,128
What for?
227
00:08:48,337 --> 00:08:49,712
For saving my life.
228
00:08:50,505 --> 00:08:52,923
He means metaphorically, you know.
[NERVOUS CHUCKLING]
229
00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:54,633
Saving him from all that paperwork.
230
00:08:54,717 --> 00:08:56,469
Paper cuts are a slow death, baby.
231
00:08:56,677 --> 00:08:58,220
No, I was referring to
how he threw his body
232
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:01,055
at an emotionally disturbed
criminal who was trying to kill me.
233
00:09:01,139 --> 00:09:02,182
No!
234
00:09:05,143 --> 00:09:06,144
He did what?
235
00:09:07,979 --> 00:09:09,438
Are you back in the field?
236
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:13,192
Oh. I have caused a problem.
237
00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:16,195
I think I am…
238
00:09:17,154 --> 00:09:18,304
Getting a text message.
239
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,282
Bloop! Ah, there it is.
240
00:09:23,618 --> 00:09:25,202
Why is this the first
I'm hearing about this?
241
00:09:25,286 --> 00:09:26,621
I thought I told you.
242
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,164
Uh, remember when you were half asleep,
243
00:09:29,289 --> 00:09:32,167
watching the news and the babies
were crying and I said real low,
244
00:09:32,251 --> 00:09:34,002
"Hey, baby, I'm back in the field.
You want something to eat?"
245
00:09:34,086 --> 00:09:35,378
And you were like, "What?"
And I was like,
246
00:09:35,462 --> 00:09:37,672
"You want something to eat?"
And you said, "Sure."
247
00:09:37,756 --> 00:09:39,590
And I got you an oatmeal cookie.
248
00:09:40,424 --> 00:09:41,467
Remember?
249
00:09:41,551 --> 00:09:43,970
You are a piece of work, Terrance.
250
00:09:45,304 --> 00:09:46,430
Oh, damn.
251
00:09:46,889 --> 00:09:47,930
She called me Terrance.
252
00:09:48,014 --> 00:09:49,015
I'm doomed.
253
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,893
[HONKING]
254
00:09:52,978 --> 00:09:54,813
PERALTA: Hot date, comin' through.
255
00:09:55,063 --> 00:09:56,773
Hey, attention, everyone!
256
00:09:57,524 --> 00:10:01,318
Now, I know that tonight
is Boyle's big night.
257
00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,570
[ALL CHEERING]
258
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,453
But let's forget about that
completely for a moment,
259
00:10:05,698 --> 00:10:06,699
and admire,
260
00:10:06,824 --> 00:10:09,701
and comment on every
terrible aspect of this.
261
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,452
[ALL CHEERING]
262
00:10:12,954 --> 00:10:14,246
Permission to go to the bathroom?
263
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,499
Granted. First of three. Use them wisely.
264
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:19,501
Hey!
265
00:10:20,169 --> 00:10:22,519
Congrats again, buddy,
I really am proud of you.
266
00:10:23,172 --> 00:10:24,339
Still wearing the medal, huh?
267
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,423
Yes, I want women to be impressed by me.
268
00:10:26,675 --> 00:10:28,176
All right.
269
00:10:28,634 --> 00:10:30,427
Well, I'm sorry that I
can't stay, but I have
270
00:10:30,511 --> 00:10:32,180
a terrible night planned for Amy.
271
00:10:32,513 --> 00:10:34,640
First up, is the mall photo studio
272
00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:36,558
where we'll take our
official date portrait.
273
00:10:36,642 --> 00:10:38,142
The picture will be the two of us
274
00:10:38,226 --> 00:10:39,519
playing one saxophone.
275
00:10:39,853 --> 00:10:40,895
Then…
276
00:10:40,979 --> 00:10:43,106
Some peel-and-eat shrimp
for dinner at a dangerously
277
00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:44,440
cheap seafood restaurant.
278
00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:47,651
And then I've contracted a
youth choir to serenade us.
279
00:10:48,527 --> 00:10:50,612
ALL: ♪ Santiago! ♪
280
00:10:50,696 --> 00:10:54,574
♪ Santiago! ♪
281
00:10:54,658 --> 00:10:58,286
-♪ You suck so bad ♪
-Yes!
282
00:10:58,661 --> 00:11:01,497
They'll sing to her at midnight
in the middle of Times Square.
283
00:11:01,581 --> 00:11:03,499
She and 500 German tourists
284
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,600
will savor that memory for all times.
285
00:11:05,877 --> 00:11:09,170
Jake, do you know why little boys pull
little girls' pigtails on playgrounds?
286
00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:10,296
'Cause they're so easy to grab,
287
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,631
they're just begging to be pulled.
288
00:11:11,715 --> 00:11:13,007
Because they like the girls
289
00:11:13,091 --> 00:11:15,593
and that's the only way they
know how to get their attention.
290
00:11:15,677 --> 00:11:16,678
What are you saying?
291
00:11:16,762 --> 00:11:18,846
All of this teasing, this elaborate date…
292
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,630
Somewhere down deep, you like Amy.
293
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,073
Like, "like her," like her.
294
00:11:22,225 --> 00:11:23,925
Okay, that's straight-up insanity.
295
00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:25,602
How much did you spend on tonight?
296
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,771
$1,400, but all of it's on credit card.
297
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:30,064
So it's like $5 a month
for the next 2,000 years.
298
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,149
I do not like Amy!
299
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,942
You're putting a lot
of effort into a joke.
300
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,153
Why don't you just sit down and
have a real conversation with her?
301
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,238
Okay, Boyle,
302
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,204
you live in your ex-wife's
new boyfriend's basement.
303
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:40,907
I'm not taking advice from you.
304
00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:41,992
[GRUNTS]
305
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,204
I'm ashamed of my living situation!
306
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,205
Rosa?
307
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:49,922
Why are you sequestered
over by this old cell phone?
308
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,991
I'm avoiding Boyle and his truth bombs.
309
00:11:52,377 --> 00:11:54,327
I sometimes worry I'm gonna become you.
310
00:11:56,755 --> 00:11:58,006
He keeps saying he wants to talk to me.
311
00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,841
I'm afraid he's going
to tell me he loves me
312
00:11:59,925 --> 00:12:01,259
or propose marriage or something.
313
00:12:01,343 --> 00:12:04,054
Oh, my God, that makes
me kinda wanna cry.
314
00:12:04,179 --> 00:12:05,805
He dove in front of those bullets
315
00:12:05,889 --> 00:12:06,889
for me.
316
00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:08,123
I can't be mean to him.
317
00:12:08,933 --> 00:12:11,583
I watched him make coffee
for 28 minutes this morning.
318
00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:13,353
But I also can't lead him on.
319
00:12:13,437 --> 00:12:16,189
Captain Holt told me not
to let him get hurt tonight,
320
00:12:16,273 --> 00:12:17,873
so, I'll keep him away from you.
321
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:21,652
Have you seen Rosa?
322
00:12:21,736 --> 00:12:23,363
Rosa died eight years ago.
323
00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:24,822
Come on.
324
00:12:24,906 --> 00:12:26,006
Let's get you a drink.
325
00:12:26,699 --> 00:12:28,158
PERALTA: Uh, excuse me, everyone!
326
00:12:28,242 --> 00:12:32,371
Santiago and I will be performing
the steerage jig from the film Titanic,
327
00:12:32,871 --> 00:12:35,541
which we have prepared
for in no way, shape, or form.
328
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,041
Romantic.
329
00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:38,292
-No. Embarrassing.
-[MUSIC PLAYING]
330
00:12:38,376 --> 00:12:39,377
Milady.
331
00:12:46,049 --> 00:12:47,749
Do the spinning! I hate your guts.
332
00:12:47,843 --> 00:12:49,928
Channel that passion into the dance.
333
00:12:50,053 --> 00:12:51,805
Peralta! Scully. Tag in.
334
00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:53,265
Okay! Keep spinning.
335
00:12:54,057 --> 00:12:55,058
Yes?
336
00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:56,308
One of our informants just called.
337
00:12:56,392 --> 00:12:58,644
We've been tracking a crew
that lifts cargo out of LaGuardia.
338
00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:00,229
The CI knows where the trucks unload,
339
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,022
so I need you to stake out the drop site.
340
00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:03,190
Oh…
341
00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:06,317
Sir, I'm right in the middle of
this date and I cannot reschedule.
342
00:13:06,401 --> 00:13:08,820
I have far, far too many
nonrefundable deposits.
343
00:13:09,237 --> 00:13:11,072
I'm renting a tiger cub by the hour.
344
00:13:11,406 --> 00:13:12,741
For what? Don't even know.
345
00:13:12,866 --> 00:13:13,908
Waiting for inspiration.
346
00:13:13,992 --> 00:13:15,842
Well, this is not a negotiation. So…
347
00:13:16,076 --> 00:13:17,077
Go!
348
00:13:17,411 --> 00:13:19,496
All right, fine.
But I'm taking Santiago with me.
349
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,730
As soon as we're done
it's back to the date.
350
00:13:22,249 --> 00:13:23,250
Darling.
351
00:13:23,417 --> 00:13:25,501
Brief pause. Duty calls. Oh, thank God.
352
00:13:26,919 --> 00:13:27,920
[SIGHS]
353
00:13:28,338 --> 00:13:29,338
Gina, tag in?
354
00:13:29,422 --> 00:13:31,591
No. Not even if it would cure cancer.
355
00:13:31,883 --> 00:13:32,967
Okay.
356
00:13:39,848 --> 00:13:41,767
Look, baby, I'm sorry.
357
00:13:42,184 --> 00:13:44,227
But Captain's life was in danger.
358
00:13:44,853 --> 00:13:46,395
I just did what I had to do.
359
00:13:46,854 --> 00:13:48,731
It was an impulse decision.
360
00:13:49,523 --> 00:13:51,323
Well, I guess I can understand that.
361
00:13:52,193 --> 00:13:53,194
HOLT: Sharon?
362
00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:54,902
I have to apologize.
363
00:13:54,986 --> 00:13:56,195
I want to assure you that
364
00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:58,114
the call to put Sergeant
Jeffords back in the field
365
00:13:58,198 --> 00:13:59,699
wasn't a spur of the moment,
366
00:13:59,908 --> 00:14:00,950
impulse decision.
367
00:14:01,451 --> 00:14:03,953
It's been in the works
for a few months now.
368
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,122
Terry said it just happened.
369
00:14:07,998 --> 00:14:10,626
I think you two need to
get your stories straight.
370
00:14:13,629 --> 00:14:16,547
Perhaps I should stop
talking to your wife.
371
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,217
That's a good call, Captain.
372
00:14:19,884 --> 00:14:20,885
Sharon!
373
00:14:22,970 --> 00:14:24,971
I'm so happy to be out of that dress.
374
00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,389
It was weirdly hot.
375
00:14:26,473 --> 00:14:29,809
Oh, yeah, that's probably because
it was a cotton and plastic blend.
376
00:14:29,893 --> 00:14:30,935
But, not to worry,
377
00:14:31,019 --> 00:14:32,520
we're gonna catch these
guys and get back to
378
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:33,896
the worst date of your life.
379
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:34,980
Mmm, no.
380
00:14:35,106 --> 00:14:38,400
Nothing will ever be worse than
the date I had with my aunt's dentist.
381
00:14:38,484 --> 00:14:39,884
You should try some of this.
382
00:14:40,277 --> 00:14:41,278
Okay.
383
00:14:42,071 --> 00:14:43,322
Oh, okay. Hold on.
384
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:44,447
Wait… Huh?
385
00:14:44,656 --> 00:14:46,506
Yeah, dessert is out of the question.
386
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,201
[LAUGHING]
387
00:14:48,493 --> 00:14:49,869
What was your worst date ever?
388
00:14:49,953 --> 00:14:51,653
I think it's like a fifty-way tie.
389
00:14:52,539 --> 00:14:56,389
The last lady I went out with burst
into tears when I told her I was a Gemini.
390
00:14:57,501 --> 00:14:58,544
Wow.
391
00:14:58,752 --> 00:15:00,652
Hey, those people left that door open.
392
00:15:00,754 --> 00:15:02,756
I bet there's a better
vantage point from the roof.
393
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,466
Hmm. And I bet it doesn't
smell like old cheese.
394
00:15:06,092 --> 00:15:07,176
Okay, that's hurtful.
395
00:15:07,635 --> 00:15:08,928
Shall we? Yeah.
396
00:15:09,095 --> 00:15:10,596
So, what else don't I know?
397
00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:12,765
You cooking meth? Are you Breaking Bad?
398
00:15:12,849 --> 00:15:14,266
How many phones do you have?
399
00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:17,436
I'm sorry. I need to clarify
something I said earlier.
400
00:15:17,644 --> 00:15:19,812
Sergeant Jeffords was
correct when he said
401
00:15:19,896 --> 00:15:23,399
that his choice to go back in the
field that night was an impulse decision.
402
00:15:23,483 --> 00:15:26,533
He didn't even take the time
to stop and gear up. So… What?
403
00:15:26,652 --> 00:15:28,102
You didn't have your vest on?
404
00:15:28,446 --> 00:15:29,447
Oh, no!
405
00:15:30,156 --> 00:15:32,032
Oh, goodness. I shouldn't have said that.
406
00:15:32,116 --> 00:15:34,166
I feel I may have made things worse.
Wait!
407
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:35,743
I can fix this, Ray.
408
00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:37,495
Now's not the time, Boyle. Hush!
409
00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:38,788
I wanna hear this.
410
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,414
Boyle, let's not make big… Hush!
411
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:41,499
Truth time.
412
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:43,467
We love your husband.
413
00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:44,626
He's a great cop.
414
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,627
We will do anything to protect him.
415
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,970
And you have incredibly attractive hands.
416
00:15:49,131 --> 00:15:50,131
And you!
417
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,384
What the hell are you
doing, lying to your wife?
418
00:15:52,468 --> 00:15:54,134
Unless you wanna end
up moving into my ex-wife's
419
00:15:54,218 --> 00:15:55,761
new boyfriend's basement with me,
420
00:15:55,845 --> 00:15:56,970
you better man up!
421
00:15:57,054 --> 00:15:58,639
Don't you ever keep anything
422
00:15:58,723 --> 00:16:00,323
from this beautiful woman again!
423
00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:02,142
Seriously, you are beautiful.
424
00:16:02,226 --> 00:16:03,851
Oh! If he ever lies to you again,
425
00:16:03,935 --> 00:16:04,936
you can call me.
426
00:16:07,063 --> 00:16:08,148
I'm sorry, honey.
427
00:16:08,648 --> 00:16:09,774
I just didn't want you to worry.
428
00:16:09,858 --> 00:16:12,110
Baby, I am always gonna worry about you.
429
00:16:12,652 --> 00:16:13,902
But if you feel like you're ready,
430
00:16:13,986 --> 00:16:16,086
then get your ass back in the field. But…
431
00:16:16,864 --> 00:16:18,448
If you ever keep anything from me again,
432
00:16:18,532 --> 00:16:19,700
I will leave you
433
00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:23,077
for this short earnest man and his
ex-wife's new boyfriend's apartment.
434
00:16:23,161 --> 00:16:26,247
I know you're kidding, but Hercules
is actually a very good landlord.
435
00:16:26,331 --> 00:16:28,249
Sometimes when they go on nice vacations,
436
00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:29,883
I'm allowed to use the hot tub.
437
00:16:33,004 --> 00:16:36,047
Man, I don't know how Batman does it.
It is super scary up here.
438
00:16:36,131 --> 00:16:38,425
Hey, will you grab the binoculars?
They're in my stakeout bag.
439
00:16:38,509 --> 00:16:41,178
Your stakeout bag is 98% nuts.
440
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,846
I get snacky.
441
00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:45,612
Besides, nuts are super healthy.
They're like 0% fat.
442
00:16:46,224 --> 00:16:47,599
Jake, that's not true at all.
443
00:16:47,683 --> 00:16:49,184
It's actually the opposite.
444
00:16:49,268 --> 00:16:51,687
What? That nut vendor lied to me.
445
00:16:54,856 --> 00:16:56,774
I think a pigeon just
flew out of your car.
446
00:16:56,858 --> 00:16:59,110
Yeah, the windows don't exactly roll up.
447
00:16:59,694 --> 00:17:00,994
The car's a piece of crap.
448
00:17:01,279 --> 00:17:02,629
Why do you love it so much?
449
00:17:03,572 --> 00:17:05,172
[SIGHS] You really want to know?
450
00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:09,202
I was two days out of the
academy, super nervous.
451
00:17:09,286 --> 00:17:11,580
I saw this guy run out of a
bodega clutching a bunch of cash.
452
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,456
So, I pursued him, on foot.
453
00:17:13,706 --> 00:17:14,707
Eleven blocks.
454
00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:17,126
Finally catch him, cuff him,
455
00:17:17,585 --> 00:17:19,963
throw him up against that car.
456
00:17:20,755 --> 00:17:22,714
Turned out there was a
"for sale" sign in the window.
457
00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:25,298
And, it being the best
day of my life, I bought it.
458
00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:27,636
Thus, began the debt.
459
00:17:28,136 --> 00:17:29,179
"Crushing debt."
460
00:17:30,264 --> 00:17:31,314
Yeah. You do know me.
461
00:17:31,848 --> 00:17:32,848
Nut?
462
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:34,266
Only if you throw it.
463
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:36,477
Ready? Ready? Mmm-hmm.
464
00:17:37,853 --> 00:17:38,896
Nice.
465
00:17:39,522 --> 00:17:40,523
Ready? Uh-huh.
466
00:17:42,524 --> 00:17:44,568
[BOTH LAUGHING]
467
00:17:45,777 --> 00:17:46,861
What are you doing?
468
00:17:47,529 --> 00:17:48,821
Trying to catch it in your nose?
469
00:17:48,905 --> 00:17:51,105
-[PHONE RINGING]
-I got it. I got it. I got it.
470
00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:53,074
All right. It's Holt. Keep practicing.
471
00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:54,159
Okay.
472
00:17:54,743 --> 00:17:56,370
Peralta. Oh, good news, Peralta.
473
00:17:56,704 --> 00:17:59,331
I found someone from the night
shift to relieve you on your stakeout.
474
00:17:59,415 --> 00:18:01,125
Oh, I can still make Times Square.
475
00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:03,459
Um…
476
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:08,631
You know, Captain, hold off on
the relief team. We're already here.
477
00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:10,341
Plus, I'm curious to see what happens.
478
00:18:10,425 --> 00:18:12,025
Okay. It's your call. All right.
479
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,220
[SIGHS]
480
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:16,596
What did Holt want?
481
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,848
Just checking in.
How you doing? Any progress?
482
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,267
Yep, watch.
483
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,062
The key is volume. I see that.
484
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,859
So be honest, if you'd won the bet,
485
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,793
were you really gonna destroy my car?
486
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,030
No. I was gonna drive it.
487
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:36,847
So I could learn stick.
488
00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:39,701
You wouldn't. I would.
489
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,868
Would have been like… [SCREECHING]
490
00:18:41,952 --> 00:18:43,621
No, no!
491
00:18:44,371 --> 00:18:45,372
Hey, hey.
492
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,083
There's our guys.
493
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:49,217
What's the play here?
494
00:18:49,668 --> 00:18:50,669
Just follow my lead.
495
00:18:50,961 --> 00:18:51,961
Give me the ring.
496
00:18:53,421 --> 00:18:54,589
Now give me some nuts.
497
00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:56,549
I'm snacky.
498
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,927
All right, fine, darling. I'll ask him.
499
00:19:00,011 --> 00:19:01,553
Will that make you happy? Excuse me, sir.
500
00:19:01,637 --> 00:19:02,720
Uh, we're kinda busy here.
501
00:19:02,804 --> 00:19:04,904
Yeah.
My girlfriend here thinks we're lost.
502
00:19:05,223 --> 00:19:08,060
No. I know we're lost.
I think he's an idiot.
503
00:19:08,226 --> 00:19:11,770
Idiot? You know why we're out
here in the middle of the night, Susan?
504
00:19:11,854 --> 00:19:13,604
I was gonna propose to you. [GASPS]
505
00:19:13,773 --> 00:19:15,816
On the Brooklyn Bridge, where we met.
506
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,402
Brooklyn Bridge?
We met on the Manhattan Bridge!
507
00:19:18,486 --> 00:19:20,154
You know what? This is over.
508
00:19:20,613 --> 00:19:22,989
Say goodbye to the ring
and everything it represents!
509
00:19:23,073 --> 00:19:25,659
Oh! You son of a bitch!
510
00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:27,910
Hey! Hey! Stop yelling!
511
00:19:27,994 --> 00:19:29,829
Hey, no one talks to Susan like that.
512
00:19:29,913 --> 00:19:32,664
And you know what… On the ground.
NYPD! NYPD! You're under arrest!
513
00:19:32,748 --> 00:19:33,749
Nice work.
514
00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:35,042
You, too.
515
00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:37,434
I'm sad you're all arresting me,
516
00:19:37,836 --> 00:19:40,136
but I gotta say, I'm glad
you're back together.
517
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:46,511
Hey, I need to talk to you.
518
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,346
Uh-oh. It's happening.
519
00:19:50,181 --> 00:19:52,015
Remember when I took
those bullets for you?
520
00:19:52,099 --> 00:19:53,517
Okay, let's do this.
521
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:55,101
I think you're sweet.
522
00:19:55,185 --> 00:19:56,435
I didn't know it was you.
523
00:19:57,771 --> 00:20:00,981
When I jumped in front of those bullets,
I didn't know who I was protecting.
524
00:20:01,065 --> 00:20:04,568
I just saw a gun and an NYPD
vest, and so I dove on instinct.
525
00:20:05,194 --> 00:20:07,946
You've been extra nice to me because
you thought I risked my life for you,
526
00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,365
but, I only did what
every good cop would do.
527
00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,409
When you finally go out with me,
528
00:20:13,493 --> 00:20:14,494
and you will,
529
00:20:14,619 --> 00:20:17,669
it'll be because I do things that
only Charles Boyle would do.
530
00:20:24,044 --> 00:20:26,380
Um, actually, I have a coat in here.
531
00:20:26,588 --> 00:20:27,589
It's, uh…
532
00:20:27,756 --> 00:20:29,758
It's like… Actually, I see it. It's like…
533
00:20:29,842 --> 00:20:31,392
It's blue… It's like right…
534
00:20:33,886 --> 00:20:35,936
Excellent job on the stakeout last night.
535
00:20:36,139 --> 00:20:37,306
I'm glad to see you two
536
00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:39,932
still work well together
despite that ridiculous bet.
537
00:20:40,016 --> 00:20:41,059
Thanks. Me, too.
538
00:20:41,393 --> 00:20:43,519
And I appreciate you
turning down the relief team.
539
00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:45,653
I'm not sure they
could've made that bust.
540
00:20:46,022 --> 00:20:47,190
Yeah… Right.
541
00:20:48,024 --> 00:20:49,025
The relief team.
542
00:20:50,609 --> 00:20:51,610
SANTIAGO: So…
543
00:20:52,445 --> 00:20:54,445
Sorry you lost so much money last night.
544
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,990
Guess you can add it
to your list of bad dates.
545
00:20:57,074 --> 00:20:59,124
Nah, it still goes on the good date list.
546
00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:01,993
You know, 'cause we caught the bad guys.
547
00:21:03,371 --> 00:21:04,622
That's very mature of you.
548
00:21:04,706 --> 00:21:06,416
Well, I am a very mature man.
549
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:08,750
MAN: Package for Amy Santiago.
550
00:21:09,419 --> 00:21:11,295
That's me. Special Delivery from…
551
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:13,130
Jake Peralta to say,
552
00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:14,714
"Thanks for last night."
553
00:21:14,798 --> 00:21:16,383
Oh, no. I forgot to cancel.
554
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:18,609
-♪ Here I am ♪
-Cancel what?
555
00:21:18,719 --> 00:21:20,511
PERALTA: Sir, you don't have to… Oh!
556
00:21:20,595 --> 00:21:23,139
-♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪
-PERALTA: All right. So…
557
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:26,850
No! Okay. Ah, okay.
558
00:21:26,934 --> 00:21:27,935
No, no, no, no, no.
559
00:21:28,019 --> 00:21:29,019
Stepping in. Stepping in.
560
00:21:29,103 --> 00:21:30,603
I'll take this bullet for you.
561
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,980
Hitchcock, what are you doing?
562
00:21:33,106 --> 00:21:35,192
I thought… Aren't we all gonna… No?
40710
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