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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,459 Berg, come here. 2 00:00:04,493 --> 00:00:06,252 Check this out. Check this out. 3 00:00:08,749 --> 00:00:09,900 It's a spider. 4 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,882 No, no, no! 5 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:15,082 It's a mind-boggling Achievement of engineering. 6 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,547 Did you know that the Underbeam structure 7 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:19,242 Of the cranberg Building in cincinnati 8 00:00:19,277 --> 00:00:23,786 Is based directly upon god's Own design of the common spider? 9 00:00:32,972 --> 00:00:33,931 My fault. 10 00:00:55,052 --> 00:00:58,089 There I am, hovering Over the body, 11 00:00:58,123 --> 00:01:01,352 The sweat is burning in my eyes. 12 00:01:01,386 --> 00:01:05,417 But I know the patient's life Depends upon my steady hand, 13 00:01:05,451 --> 00:01:07,496 So I grab the tweezers, 14 00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:10,569 Stick it into his chest Cavity ever so gingerly, 15 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:15,656 Pull out his... Funny bone. 16 00:01:15,690 --> 00:01:17,705 Big red nose never went off. 17 00:01:17,739 --> 00:01:19,379 You knew you were Gonna be a doctor 18 00:01:19,402 --> 00:01:22,569 Because you were good At playing operation. 19 00:01:22,602 --> 00:01:24,520 Ever since I was 6 1/2. 20 00:01:24,554 --> 00:01:26,451 Liar! Ahem! 21 00:01:26,474 --> 00:01:27,912 It must be so great 22 00:01:27,946 --> 00:01:31,400 Having always known What you were gonna be. 23 00:01:31,434 --> 00:01:34,217 Yeah. It's always Given me peace. 24 00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:36,296 Liar! Ahem! 25 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,315 Excuse me. My friend Needs medical attention. 26 00:01:39,338 --> 00:01:40,967 Ah-ahem! 27 00:01:41,002 --> 00:01:42,995 Something in your throat? 28 00:01:43,018 --> 00:01:44,594 I'm sorry, sir, but I'm gonna Have to give you a ticket. 29 00:01:44,617 --> 00:01:48,039 Do you know how fast you Were lying back there? What? 30 00:01:48,073 --> 00:01:51,815 You didn't know you wanted To be a doctor till 3 months ago. 31 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,106 Well, if I hadn't lied In the first place, 32 00:01:53,129 --> 00:01:55,528 I never would've Ended up in med school. 33 00:01:55,561 --> 00:01:56,563 So my stupid chemical company 34 00:01:56,586 --> 00:01:58,471 Decides to have a stupid booth 35 00:01:58,506 --> 00:02:00,710 At this stupid earth day fair, 36 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:04,871 And guess who's Stupid enough to run it. 37 00:02:07,048 --> 00:02:10,501 Does bring out the Amino acids in your eyes. 38 00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:13,766 What do you think? 39 00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:24,838 I think you got a Terrific future as a dork. 40 00:02:24,873 --> 00:02:27,270 What's with the Outfit? His dad's in town. 41 00:02:27,304 --> 00:02:30,086 Great. I haven't seen Him since graduation. 42 00:02:30,119 --> 00:02:32,934 Not great. Berg, Stop playing dress-up 43 00:02:32,968 --> 00:02:36,229 And tell your dad that you Dropped out of law school 44 00:02:36,264 --> 00:02:37,958 2 years ago. What? 45 00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,037 He still thinks You're in law school? 46 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:43,558 Well, your dad still Thinks you're a virgin. 47 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,664 Berg, come on. Tell Your dad the truth. 48 00:02:51,687 --> 00:02:53,637 We don't tell the Truth in my family. 49 00:02:53,671 --> 00:02:55,365 My dad's a lawyer. 50 00:02:56,615 --> 00:02:58,021 That's healthy. 51 00:02:58,055 --> 00:03:00,293 We don't fight, we don't share, 52 00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:03,077 And no shoes in the living room. 53 00:03:03,111 --> 00:03:04,336 Berg, you owe him the truth. 54 00:03:04,359 --> 00:03:05,829 It's not like I'm Taking his money. 55 00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:06,789 I'm here on scholarship. 56 00:03:06,822 --> 00:03:08,688 Eventually, he's gonna find out. 57 00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:10,244 I'm just trying To buy some time. 58 00:03:10,279 --> 00:03:12,997 I am this close to figuring Out what I wanna do with my life. 59 00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,831 What happened to philosophy? 60 00:03:14,854 --> 00:03:16,357 Philosophy was this close. 61 00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:19,173 It's mentally challenging, 62 00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:21,092 But it's just not Serving up the babes. 63 00:03:21,126 --> 00:03:24,100 Berg, look, just go To business school. 64 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:25,061 Become an executive. 65 00:03:25,094 --> 00:03:26,499 You'll have all the Women you want. 66 00:03:26,535 --> 00:03:29,605 Like I'm gonna wear One of these every day. 67 00:03:29,638 --> 00:03:32,206 Ok, so basically, you're Looking for a career 68 00:03:32,229 --> 00:03:34,031 Where you can wear Pajamas and gawk at chicks. 69 00:03:34,054 --> 00:03:36,196 Sing it, sister! 70 00:03:36,229 --> 00:03:37,422 But for the time being, 71 00:03:37,445 --> 00:03:39,438 As far as my dad's concerned, 72 00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,518 I'm just a mild-mannered Law student 73 00:03:41,541 --> 00:03:45,123 For a great Metropolitan law school. 74 00:03:47,365 --> 00:03:49,379 Either I'm not superman, 75 00:03:49,414 --> 00:03:52,644 Or she's wearing lead panties. 76 00:03:55,556 --> 00:03:57,187 Now, remember, mr. Bauer, 77 00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,979 I'm a law student. 78 00:03:59,013 --> 00:03:59,939 No, you're not. 79 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,358 You're a philosophy major. 80 00:04:01,381 --> 00:04:03,203 But for today, mr. Bauer, 81 00:04:03,237 --> 00:04:05,571 Just say I'm in law school, ok? 82 00:04:05,605 --> 00:04:09,347 I wish I could, but I can't. 83 00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,138 And why not? 84 00:04:11,173 --> 00:04:12,898 Today is my son's birthday, 85 00:04:12,932 --> 00:04:14,370 And I missed his party. 86 00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:15,907 I was busy in court. 87 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:18,222 At least that's what I told the little guy. 88 00:04:18,245 --> 00:04:19,875 So my son made a wish: 89 00:04:19,908 --> 00:04:23,042 For 24 hours, I Cannot tell a lie. 90 00:04:23,076 --> 00:04:25,442 This can't be good for me. 91 00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:27,650 Welcome to my world. 92 00:04:29,540 --> 00:04:33,442 My god! He's actually clearing The dishes off the table. 93 00:04:33,476 --> 00:04:37,345 All right, what have You done with my son? 94 00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:39,266 Dad! 95 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,322 Mike! 96 00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:41,570 Mr. Bergen. 97 00:04:41,603 --> 00:04:43,810 Pete! 98 00:04:43,843 --> 00:04:45,772 When are you gonna start Designing that beach house for me? 99 00:04:45,795 --> 00:04:47,244 Soon as I get your deposit. 100 00:04:47,267 --> 00:04:49,377 Well, you just have Your hotshot lawyer here 101 00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:50,380 Send over the contracts. 102 00:04:50,403 --> 00:04:52,929 Dad... You remember bill. 103 00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:55,041 Bill! Sure. 104 00:04:55,074 --> 00:04:56,492 My son doing a good job? 105 00:04:56,515 --> 00:04:57,665 Oh, yeah... 106 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,969 When I can pull him Away from the law books, 107 00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:03,041 Though he did promise to work Late friday and saturday nights 108 00:05:03,074 --> 00:05:04,097 To make up for it. 109 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,552 Right, berg? Sure, 110 00:05:07,587 --> 00:05:09,850 Because I would never Take advantage of you. 111 00:05:10,914 --> 00:05:12,480 Excuse me, mr. Bergen. 112 00:05:12,514 --> 00:05:15,520 What's his name Again? Mr. Bauer. 113 00:05:15,555 --> 00:05:18,112 Right. Mr. Bauer, What's going on? 114 00:05:18,146 --> 00:05:21,792 My shorts are bunching up on me. 115 00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,273 Well! 116 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,720 Tell me about law school. 117 00:05:30,754 --> 00:05:32,096 Uhh! 118 00:05:36,354 --> 00:05:37,471 Is he all right? 119 00:05:37,506 --> 00:05:38,783 Not even remotely. 120 00:05:38,818 --> 00:05:40,864 Mr. Bauer: philosophy! 121 00:05:42,657 --> 00:05:44,107 Dad, why don't you Grab a seat out here? 122 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:45,343 I'll be there in a sec. 123 00:05:45,377 --> 00:05:47,565 Good. We'll have A cigar and talk. 124 00:05:50,497 --> 00:05:51,914 Uh, he wants to Have a talk, pete. 125 00:05:51,937 --> 00:05:54,623 Uh, you gotta come with me. 126 00:05:54,657 --> 00:05:56,735 Look, this is between You and your dad. 127 00:05:56,769 --> 00:05:58,655 I'm not getting In the middle of it. 128 00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:00,287 Ok, fine. 129 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,770 But if he starts Asking about the law, 130 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:02,944 Just run interference. 131 00:06:02,977 --> 00:06:04,842 Come on, berg. I'm Not good at this. 132 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:05,951 Nonsense. 133 00:06:07,329 --> 00:06:08,480 Here you go, boys. 134 00:06:10,432 --> 00:06:11,807 Mmm! Cubans. 135 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,673 Aren't these against the law? 136 00:06:13,696 --> 00:06:17,310 Easy, easy. Easy there. 137 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:22,558 So, dad... You're in town. 138 00:06:22,592 --> 00:06:24,809 Yeah, I'm in town for Business. Important business. 139 00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:27,038 I'm here to talk to you About becoming a lawyer. 140 00:06:27,072 --> 00:06:28,734 I love football! 141 00:06:30,593 --> 00:06:32,286 Steve young's a lawyer. 142 00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:34,974 It's the 49ers quarterback. 143 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,390 I bet he's happy when The defense rests. 144 00:06:42,496 --> 00:06:46,877 So, mike, how you Finding second year? 145 00:06:46,911 --> 00:06:48,349 Oh, I am loving it. 146 00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:49,384 Studying constantly. 147 00:06:49,407 --> 00:06:50,405 Ha ha! That's funny. 148 00:06:50,431 --> 00:06:53,053 As a kid, he never Stuck with anything. 149 00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:54,621 One week it was rugby, 150 00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:56,349 Next week, astronomy, 151 00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:57,383 And then there was music. 152 00:06:57,406 --> 00:07:01,565 "Daddy, I'm gonna be The next roy clark." 153 00:07:01,599 --> 00:07:04,573 I don't have to tell you that Banjo's still sitting in the garage. 154 00:07:04,607 --> 00:07:06,492 Pete: ha ha ha! 155 00:07:08,062 --> 00:07:11,068 Banjo? Ha ha ha! 156 00:07:11,102 --> 00:07:15,324 Why don't you tell him that really Interesting steve young story again? 157 00:07:17,055 --> 00:07:18,407 Now he's graduating law school. 158 00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:22,236 Due in no small part To you, mr. Dunville. 159 00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:23,612 What? 160 00:07:23,647 --> 00:07:25,287 You've had an important Influence on him. 161 00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,100 Kept this head in the game. 162 00:07:27,134 --> 00:07:30,055 Without you, he probably Would've quit law school. 163 00:07:30,078 --> 00:07:33,148 Oh, sir, you're giving Me way too much credit. 164 00:07:33,182 --> 00:07:34,278 Nonsense! 165 00:07:34,301 --> 00:07:36,540 I wanna give you Something to just... 166 00:07:36,573 --> 00:07:40,124 Kind of help you along while you're Designing that beach house for me. 167 00:07:40,158 --> 00:07:44,795 Uh, no, really... Take my pen, please. 168 00:07:46,718 --> 00:07:48,187 Gotta run, boys. Big meeting. 169 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:50,363 Mike, we got dinner At 8:00 tonight, ok? 170 00:07:50,397 --> 00:07:52,858 And, pete? Thanks again. 171 00:07:56,572 --> 00:07:58,970 And you say you're Not good at this. 172 00:07:59,004 --> 00:08:00,762 All right. You know what? 173 00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:02,587 That's it. All done! 174 00:08:02,621 --> 00:08:03,675 I'm out! 175 00:08:03,708 --> 00:08:04,987 You know what? 176 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,651 You're nothing like your dad. 177 00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:09,370 I don't even know Where you came from. 178 00:08:09,404 --> 00:08:11,898 And don't say "Albany." 179 00:08:11,933 --> 00:08:13,894 The thing is, I Aspire to someday be 180 00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:15,814 The kind of man your father is. 181 00:08:15,837 --> 00:08:18,459 A man with purpose And direction. 182 00:08:18,492 --> 00:08:20,602 A man with dignity. 183 00:08:20,637 --> 00:08:23,194 Go work the fair. 184 00:08:24,828 --> 00:08:26,138 Think about what I said... 185 00:08:27,932 --> 00:08:30,234 And not how stupid I look in this hat. 186 00:08:39,483 --> 00:08:41,209 You're against chemicals, huh? 187 00:08:41,243 --> 00:08:43,481 Hey, you! Mr. Rogaine! 188 00:08:43,516 --> 00:08:48,218 Where do you think Your new hair came from? 189 00:08:48,251 --> 00:08:49,817 And what about her? 190 00:08:49,851 --> 00:08:52,025 You think those are real? 191 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:53,625 I don't think so! 192 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,673 You should be Picketing her chest! 193 00:08:57,306 --> 00:08:58,777 Pete! 194 00:09:00,027 --> 00:09:03,289 Hey! I saw a group of People down that way. 195 00:09:04,314 --> 00:09:05,944 They were eating veal. 196 00:09:09,658 --> 00:09:10,585 Thank you. 197 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:11,737 Nice hat. 198 00:09:11,770 --> 00:09:12,856 Phi beta kappa. 199 00:09:12,890 --> 00:09:15,801 Summa cum laude. How are you? 200 00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:17,049 You want a slice? 201 00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:18,179 Uhh! Don't even mention food. 202 00:09:18,202 --> 00:09:19,960 I've had, like, 8 Of these things. 203 00:09:19,995 --> 00:09:21,187 What's that? 204 00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:22,915 Oh, they're great. It's A synthetic candy bar. 205 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,536 They taste exactly Like chocolate, 206 00:09:24,570 --> 00:09:26,647 Only no fat, no Sodium, no calories. 207 00:09:26,682 --> 00:09:28,631 These are gonna be The next big thing... 208 00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:29,591 Ooh! 209 00:09:29,626 --> 00:09:31,064 If they're ever Approved by the fda. 210 00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:35,800 Here come the Ozone lovers again. 211 00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:38,583 Oh, no. They're carrying eggs. 212 00:09:38,617 --> 00:09:39,543 Where you going? 213 00:09:39,577 --> 00:09:40,952 Got high cholesterol. 214 00:09:40,985 --> 00:09:42,135 Coward! 215 00:09:44,153 --> 00:09:47,607 You know what makes Those eggs so large? 216 00:09:54,425 --> 00:09:56,791 You know what I'm gonna Get this stain out with? 217 00:09:58,649 --> 00:09:59,831 Hey, pizza head! 218 00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,487 That is so unnecessary. 219 00:10:05,465 --> 00:10:06,614 You want pepperoni? 220 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:09,910 Ah-ah-ah. You can't Move your head. 221 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:10,966 Mr. Bergen? 222 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,046 Mike's not with you, is he? 223 00:10:13,081 --> 00:10:14,326 No. He's at work. 224 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,182 What are you doing here? 225 00:10:16,217 --> 00:10:17,526 What happened to Your big meeting? 226 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,286 This is my big meeting. 227 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,694 What are you talking about? 228 00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:23,105 Well, I resigned from The firm. I'm starting over. 229 00:10:23,128 --> 00:10:24,406 You had this brilliant career, 230 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,286 And you gave it up to become... 231 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,694 A caricaturist? 232 00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,741 We prefer "Sketch artist." 233 00:10:30,776 --> 00:10:33,462 And I've been lying To my son about this. 234 00:10:33,496 --> 00:10:36,758 Please promise me You won't tell him. 235 00:10:36,792 --> 00:10:39,957 Just when I think I'm out... 236 00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:42,805 They pull me back in! 237 00:10:46,071 --> 00:10:48,436 Mr. Bergen, you're A harvard lawyer. 238 00:10:48,471 --> 00:10:51,733 Why are you working the Fair circuit? Sit down, pete. 239 00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,215 What's your favorite Sport? Basketball. 240 00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:54,933 Play tennis? Not really. 241 00:10:54,967 --> 00:10:56,480 How about badminton? No... 242 00:10:56,503 --> 00:10:59,125 Oh, mr. Bergen, don't draw me. 243 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,300 Oh, man! 244 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:03,989 Oh, I get it. 245 00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:06,356 You can't tell me 246 00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:08,468 Because you're actually here 247 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,740 Gathering evidence for a case. 248 00:11:10,774 --> 00:11:14,484 Tell me you're gathering Evidence for a case. 249 00:11:14,518 --> 00:11:19,220 I left the law to pursue My passion for art. 250 00:11:19,253 --> 00:11:21,683 Art? 251 00:11:21,718 --> 00:11:25,652 Big heads on little Bodies is not art. 252 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,180 Well, I'm having The time of my life. 253 00:11:28,213 --> 00:11:29,279 Then why haven't you told berg? 254 00:11:29,302 --> 00:11:32,084 Come on! You know that ficus 255 00:11:32,118 --> 00:11:34,547 Dreamt of following In my footsteps, 256 00:11:34,581 --> 00:11:37,012 And you gotta help me Hide the truth from him. 257 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:40,019 Oh, no. Just until he graduates. 258 00:11:40,053 --> 00:11:42,324 No, no. Mr. Bergen, I'm not good at this. 259 00:11:42,358 --> 00:11:44,884 Nonsense! 260 00:11:44,917 --> 00:11:47,506 Now, here you go, pete. 261 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,579 My ears are not that big. 262 00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:54,013 Sketch artist? Yeah, yeah. 263 00:11:54,036 --> 00:11:56,275 He's right down there. 264 00:11:56,308 --> 00:11:58,675 Look. 265 00:11:58,709 --> 00:12:00,414 Wow. He really nailed your ears. 266 00:12:00,437 --> 00:12:01,822 He did not nail my ears! 267 00:12:01,845 --> 00:12:04,914 Ha ha! You gotta Love those bergens. 268 00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:07,730 This is sick. That's perfect. 269 00:12:07,764 --> 00:12:09,970 What's so perfect about it? 270 00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:11,987 Pete dunville is Gonna save the day. 271 00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,450 Oh, pete... Don't. 272 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,890 Duck! 273 00:12:17,044 --> 00:12:19,986 I invite mr. Bergen Over to the apartment. 274 00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:23,154 I tell them that they both have Something they need to say to each other. 275 00:12:23,188 --> 00:12:24,530 "Dad, I'm not in law school." 276 00:12:24,563 --> 00:12:26,961 "Mike, I play with Crayons in the park." 277 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,074 Everyone hugs. 278 00:12:29,107 --> 00:12:30,833 It'd be a real oprah moment. 279 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:34,353 Duck! 280 00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:35,709 Did they ask for your help? 281 00:12:35,732 --> 00:12:38,321 Not in so many words. 282 00:12:38,355 --> 00:12:41,553 But obviously, They need to talk. 283 00:12:41,587 --> 00:12:43,069 I mean, that's what We do in my family. 284 00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:44,412 We get it out. We Talk. It's healthy. 285 00:12:44,435 --> 00:12:47,794 But, pete, just because It works for your family, 286 00:12:47,827 --> 00:12:48,924 Doesn't mean it Works for everyone. 287 00:12:48,947 --> 00:12:50,321 It's like this stuff. 288 00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:52,113 You pour it down your sink, 289 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,179 It unclogs the drain. 290 00:12:53,202 --> 00:12:55,376 You pour it in a pond, 291 00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:57,936 You've got fish with feet. 292 00:12:57,971 --> 00:12:59,728 Look, I gotta do something. 293 00:12:59,763 --> 00:13:01,627 Yeah, you do. Stay out of it. 294 00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,737 You know what, sharon? 295 00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:04,305 You don't know what You're talking about. 296 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,065 Why didn't you tell me to duck? 297 00:13:14,098 --> 00:13:16,272 Hey, I don't know What I'm talking about. 298 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,808 And that would be your dad. 299 00:13:25,842 --> 00:13:27,824 What? How do you know? 300 00:13:27,858 --> 00:13:29,786 I told him to stop by Here before dinner. 301 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,135 I don't know what You're up to, pete, 302 00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:35,894 But one word out of you, and I'm Showing mr. Bauer silence of the lambs 303 00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:38,895 And inviting him over to dinner. 304 00:13:40,145 --> 00:13:42,095 Look, he has Something to tell you. 305 00:13:42,129 --> 00:13:43,162 Just... Trust me. 306 00:13:43,185 --> 00:13:45,615 What is it? 307 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,120 Let him tell you. 308 00:13:47,153 --> 00:13:49,167 I think he'll paint A better picture. 309 00:13:51,057 --> 00:13:53,967 Come on in, mr. Bergen. 310 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,247 Mike. 311 00:13:55,281 --> 00:13:56,558 Dad. 312 00:13:56,593 --> 00:13:57,647 Have a seat. 313 00:13:57,681 --> 00:13:59,098 Uh, we've got an 8:00 reservation. 314 00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:00,505 Yeah. We don't wanna Lose that table. 315 00:14:00,528 --> 00:14:02,990 No. This won't Take long. It's ok. 316 00:14:03,024 --> 00:14:05,006 Ok, now, um... 317 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,166 You both have something that You need to say to one another. 318 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,998 Now is the time to say it. 319 00:14:16,144 --> 00:14:18,254 It's ok. 320 00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:19,789 Talk. 321 00:14:21,744 --> 00:14:24,686 I'll be in my room where I can't hear a thing. 322 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,360 So... How was your meeting? 323 00:14:34,383 --> 00:14:37,357 Oh... It was fine. How was class? 324 00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:38,413 Good. 325 00:14:38,447 --> 00:14:39,854 Good, good. 326 00:14:39,887 --> 00:14:41,721 So you had something You wanted to tell me. 327 00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:44,141 Well, maybe you should go first. 328 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,165 Ok. 329 00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:48,376 Well, uh... It's Really no big deal, 330 00:14:48,399 --> 00:14:49,869 But, uh... 331 00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,756 I guess I'm sorry I Never followed through 332 00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:58,573 With those banjo lessons. 333 00:14:59,918 --> 00:15:02,125 Well, I think what I have to tell you 334 00:15:02,158 --> 00:15:05,228 Will put all that In perspective. 335 00:15:05,262 --> 00:15:06,892 About 6 months ago, 336 00:15:06,926 --> 00:15:10,892 I was driving home after A hellish day in court, 337 00:15:10,926 --> 00:15:15,500 And as I was pulling Into the garage... 338 00:15:17,677 --> 00:15:19,084 I ran over your banjo. 339 00:15:23,534 --> 00:15:25,740 Oh. 340 00:15:25,774 --> 00:15:27,735 Well, I'm glad we had This talk. Let's eat. 341 00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:29,687 No, no, no, no, no, no! 342 00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,446 What's wrong with you people? 343 00:15:31,469 --> 00:15:33,142 What, you were eavesdropping? 344 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:34,443 It's those big ears. 345 00:15:34,478 --> 00:15:37,772 They're not big! 346 00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:39,542 He hasn't been in law School for over 2 years. 347 00:15:39,565 --> 00:15:40,844 What?! 348 00:15:40,877 --> 00:15:44,555 Yeah, and he quit the law to Draw caricatures in the park. 349 00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:46,060 What?! 350 00:15:46,093 --> 00:15:48,362 There! Now, don't You feel better? 351 00:15:50,636 --> 00:15:52,043 I know I do. 352 00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:53,995 I can't believe You left the firm. 353 00:15:54,028 --> 00:15:57,194 Where am I supposed to work When I graduate law school? 354 00:15:57,228 --> 00:15:59,157 You're not in law school. 355 00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:01,514 You didn't know that, you... 356 00:16:01,549 --> 00:16:05,131 You... Caricaturist. 357 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,826 I am a sketch artist! 358 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,213 I thought you were a lawyer. 359 00:16:08,236 --> 00:16:09,652 Well, I thought you Were a law student. 360 00:16:09,675 --> 00:16:11,061 What have you been Doing the last 2 years? 361 00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,628 I've been a philosophy major. 362 00:16:12,651 --> 00:16:14,218 Oh! That's useful! 363 00:16:14,252 --> 00:16:16,245 See? That's exactly Why I didn't tell you. 364 00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,973 I didn't wanna Disappoint my father, 365 00:16:17,996 --> 00:16:19,882 The world renown sketch artist. 366 00:16:19,916 --> 00:16:22,602 See? This is working, This is working. 367 00:16:22,636 --> 00:16:24,106 This is communicating. 368 00:16:24,139 --> 00:16:26,602 No, it's not. It's fighting. 369 00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,506 I'm disappointed in you, pete. 370 00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:31,604 What? What did I do? 371 00:16:31,627 --> 00:16:34,153 I told you to lie! Can't I trust you? 372 00:16:34,188 --> 00:16:37,066 I told him to lie to you, too. 373 00:16:37,099 --> 00:16:39,241 What is the matter with you? 374 00:16:41,035 --> 00:16:44,106 I told you, I wasn't Good at this! 375 00:16:44,139 --> 00:16:45,833 Keep it down! 376 00:16:45,866 --> 00:16:47,497 Keep it down! 377 00:16:47,530 --> 00:16:48,627 We're hardly yelling. 378 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:51,721 No. Me. I can't keep it down. 379 00:16:51,755 --> 00:16:52,756 Sharon. You ok? 380 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,601 You guys, get me to a doctor. 381 00:16:54,635 --> 00:16:56,371 Where's your car? Around the corner. 382 00:16:56,394 --> 00:16:58,249 Ooh! I think I'm gonna boot. 383 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:07,048 Berg... You can have my stereo. 384 00:17:07,082 --> 00:17:11,528 Pete... You can have my dresser. 385 00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,677 I don't want your dresser. 386 00:17:16,106 --> 00:17:19,207 Why does he get the stereo? 387 00:17:20,681 --> 00:17:22,056 Ok. There you go. 388 00:17:22,090 --> 00:17:25,256 Compliments of the house. 389 00:17:26,282 --> 00:17:28,103 I don't play tennis. 390 00:17:33,129 --> 00:17:35,751 Mike, uh, take a look. 391 00:17:36,745 --> 00:17:38,343 Sure. 392 00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:40,999 Oh, dad. 393 00:17:41,032 --> 00:17:44,806 Ok. I know it seems Strange, but... 394 00:17:44,841 --> 00:17:47,047 You spend 30 years Arguing in court, 395 00:17:47,081 --> 00:17:49,927 And every day, clients Are staring at you, 396 00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:51,975 Their lives in Your hands, and... 397 00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:53,126 You start doodling. 398 00:17:54,984 --> 00:17:56,775 Why didn't you tell me? 399 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,727 Well, I thought it Would throw you. 400 00:17:58,761 --> 00:18:02,503 I thought you Wanted to be a lawyer. 401 00:18:02,536 --> 00:18:03,942 No, dad. 402 00:18:03,977 --> 00:18:06,246 You wanted me to be a lawyer. 403 00:18:06,279 --> 00:18:09,542 I was the only kid In fourth grade 404 00:18:09,576 --> 00:18:12,263 With a 12 angry men lunchbox. 405 00:18:12,296 --> 00:18:16,038 All I ever wanted was For you to be happy. 406 00:18:16,072 --> 00:18:18,854 So you're not Totally disappointed? 407 00:18:18,887 --> 00:18:22,182 Look, if you don't Want to practice law, 408 00:18:22,215 --> 00:18:23,814 That's fine with me. 409 00:18:23,847 --> 00:18:25,904 But you gotta do something. 410 00:18:25,927 --> 00:18:27,398 And, my god, son, 411 00:18:27,431 --> 00:18:31,365 You're capable Of doing anything. 412 00:18:31,399 --> 00:18:33,093 Well, you know... 413 00:18:33,128 --> 00:18:37,062 Just stop screwing around. 414 00:18:37,095 --> 00:18:38,757 Meanwhile, how does Mom feel about all this? 415 00:18:38,792 --> 00:18:40,112 Well, your mother's a trooper. 416 00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:41,189 You haven't told her. 417 00:18:41,223 --> 00:18:42,149 You tell her about law school? 418 00:18:42,183 --> 00:18:43,172 What, are you crazy? 419 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,470 No reason to upset her. Deal. 420 00:18:45,672 --> 00:18:49,157 You know, I'm gonna Go over to trauma, 421 00:18:49,191 --> 00:18:52,080 See if I can find anybody who Plays badminton or tennis. 422 00:18:52,103 --> 00:18:53,381 Go get 'em, dad. 423 00:18:55,239 --> 00:18:58,085 Ok, sharon, what did you eat? 424 00:18:58,118 --> 00:19:01,476 A whole bunch of Synthetic candy bars. 425 00:19:01,510 --> 00:19:03,471 Doctors, what is the Course of treatment? 426 00:19:03,494 --> 00:19:05,199 Pump her stomach. Pump her stomach. 427 00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:06,532 Doctor: right. 428 00:19:07,974 --> 00:19:10,308 Uhhh! 429 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,491 You ok? 430 00:19:15,525 --> 00:19:18,116 What do I do, pete? 431 00:19:18,149 --> 00:19:19,683 Now that I'm not being a lawyer, 432 00:19:19,717 --> 00:19:20,740 What comes next? 433 00:19:20,773 --> 00:19:22,670 You? What about Me? What's this mean? 434 00:19:22,693 --> 00:19:24,558 After 30 years of Being an architect, 435 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:28,036 I'm gonna melt down And become a juggler? 436 00:19:28,069 --> 00:19:29,059 No. 437 00:19:29,093 --> 00:19:33,763 I see you... Guessing People's weight. 438 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:37,987 Ok. Now, the nasal Gastric tube is in place. 439 00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:40,675 We hit the switch And let 'er rip. 440 00:19:42,245 --> 00:19:44,387 Ooh! I'll be right here. 441 00:19:46,372 --> 00:19:48,131 Outstanding! 442 00:19:48,164 --> 00:19:49,827 So tell me, doctors, 443 00:19:49,861 --> 00:19:52,718 If miss carter here were To continue her current diet, 444 00:19:52,741 --> 00:19:55,925 What type of ulcerous Bacteria would she develop? 445 00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:57,699 Anyone? 446 00:19:57,732 --> 00:20:01,090 Halicopacter pylori, Probably in the duodenum. 447 00:20:03,396 --> 00:20:06,370 boston journal of Medicine crossword puzzle, 448 00:20:06,404 --> 00:20:08,163 4 down. Oh. 449 00:20:09,956 --> 00:20:12,257 That's very good, doctor... 450 00:20:15,205 --> 00:20:16,386 Bergen. 451 00:20:17,604 --> 00:20:19,437 Dr. Bergen. Very good. 452 00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:22,306 Please follow me to I.C.U. 453 00:20:24,707 --> 00:20:26,529 Look, pete. 454 00:20:26,563 --> 00:20:31,009 Pretty girls... Pajamas... 455 00:20:39,139 --> 00:20:42,055 So what is the prognosis For this patient? 456 00:20:43,426 --> 00:20:44,961 Auricular diminution. 457 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,552 Most commonly known as? 458 00:20:47,586 --> 00:20:49,761 Ear reduction. Ear reduction. 459 00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:51,456 They're not that big! 31616

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