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Lee and I burned down
Belinda Brown's house
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and basically destroyed
her whole entire life
3
00:00:04,235 --> 00:00:05,984
and then Lee shot me.
4
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All the wrongs are about to be righted.
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00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,484
So tell me, Russell,
6
00:00:09,485 --> 00:00:11,192
do you feel bad about shooting me?
7
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- What?
- So am I.
8
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I found the shooter's mask
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in your Jeep. You hid it
in your wife's truck!
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You just tried to fuckin' kill me.
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So you're fired.
12
00:00:24,026 --> 00:00:25,067
What happened?
13
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,609
Had to step down, no other choice.
14
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,859
Step down? Was... That was you
stepping down?
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00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:31,275
I need to hit that
son of a bitch where it hurts.
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00:00:31,276 --> 00:00:32,276
Behold!
17
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Lee Russell's sister's diary.
18
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,317
His secrets shall be weaponized.
19
00:00:37,318 --> 00:00:39,192
April second, 1993.
20
00:00:39,193 --> 00:00:41,359
"Today, Lee was kicked out
of gymnastics."
21
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,442
There's a Polaroid attached to this.
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00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,109
Gamby, I'm asking you, please don't.
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I never wanna see your face again.
24
00:00:46,602 --> 00:00:47,683
It's over.
25
00:00:55,009 --> 00:00:57,091
What a year it's been, North Jackson.
26
00:00:57,092 --> 00:01:00,174
Lots of ups and downs,
but we've all made it.
27
00:01:00,175 --> 00:01:03,465
Those of you who screwed up,
I'll see you in summer school.
28
00:01:03,466 --> 00:01:06,091
To the rest of you, see you next year
29
00:01:06,092 --> 00:01:07,841
and have a wonderful summer.
30
00:01:07,842 --> 00:01:13,049
But, before you're dismissed, I want
to give a shout out to a special kid.
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Robin Shandrell. You did good this year.
32
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He's been through a lot,
but he's muscled through
33
00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:21,549
and managed to make straight
"A's" this last six weeks.
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00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:24,841
Real proud of you, bud.
If you see him around today,
35
00:01:24,842 --> 00:01:28,049
give Robin Shandrell a big round
of applause. He's earned it.
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You've made a big impact on me,
37
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and I hope I've done the same for you.
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This is your interim acting principal,
39
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Neal Gamby, signing off.
40
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Have a great summer, Tigers!
41
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To the end.
42
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
43
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Cheese!
44
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Oh, wonderful! Wonderful!
That's the one! That's it!
45
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Belinda Brown.
I brought something for you.
46
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Okay, Jesus. Oh, Lord Jesus.
47
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This is your pump.
48
00:02:35,134 --> 00:02:37,800
- You've got to be fucking kidding me.
- Uh...
49
00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:40,632
I'm... I'm really loving
your new digs, B.
50
00:02:40,633 --> 00:02:42,757
You work in the private sector now, huh?
51
00:02:42,758 --> 00:02:44,529
You're goddamn right,
52
00:02:44,662 --> 00:02:47,441
but I don't need bitch-asses
like you fucking up my campus.
53
00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:49,257
- I'm calling security.
- Please don't. Don't.
54
00:02:49,258 --> 00:02:52,340
I don't mean any harm. I swear,
I'm just here to apologize.
55
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Bullshit. You shot Gamby down,
56
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,716
and now you've come
for me too. Is that it?
57
00:02:56,717 --> 00:02:58,674
I didn't shoot him, Belinda.
58
00:02:58,675 --> 00:03:01,215
I know why he thinks it's me.
59
00:03:01,216 --> 00:03:04,674
It makes sense. I have a
record of fucking people over,
60
00:03:04,675 --> 00:03:06,966
and I'm sorry.
61
00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:09,424
But I've paid the price for it, Belinda.
62
00:03:09,425 --> 00:03:11,174
Why are you telling me like I care?
63
00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:13,716
I just need somebody
to help clear my name.
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00:03:13,717 --> 00:03:15,424
I have no other option.
65
00:03:15,425 --> 00:03:16,799
All I have is my word,
66
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,382
and you know that
that doesn't mean shit.
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00:03:24,592 --> 00:03:27,383
Look at your sorry ass.
68
00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:31,610
Get off my campus,
69
00:03:31,657 --> 00:03:34,500
and be glad I didn't punch you
in your motherfucking face.
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00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:38,174
Good morning, sweet baby.
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00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,716
And just like that...
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they're gone!
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00:03:49,383 --> 00:03:52,049
Woo-hoo!
74
00:03:52,050 --> 00:03:54,799
- Congratulations, everyone!
- Woo-hoo-hoo!
75
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,507
- Happy summer!
- Happy summer!
76
00:03:56,508 --> 00:03:59,091
So, what's this mean, Gamby?
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You gonna be the man next year?
You gonna run this school?
78
00:04:01,216 --> 00:04:03,382
Well, Superintendent Haas did
get your recommendations,
79
00:04:03,383 --> 00:04:05,883
and I told him I was
more than willing to stand in,
80
00:04:05,884 --> 00:04:08,049
but they haven't made
their choice just yet.
81
00:04:08,050 --> 00:04:11,049
Hey, look at him. Just think,
we don't have to sit through
82
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:14,008
- one more Russell speech ever again.
- Mm-hmm.
83
00:04:14,009 --> 00:04:16,008
Whoo. Or those awful jokes he would tell
84
00:04:16,009 --> 00:04:17,924
and then he would laugh
at his own punchlines.
85
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,465
You know, I heard he was planning on
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00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:21,091
wearing a Korean robe to graduation.
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00:04:21,092 --> 00:04:23,591
- No.
- Oh, did you hear that, Amanda?
88
00:04:23,592 --> 00:04:25,549
- That's what you heard?
- Yup.
89
00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,049
Sounds made up to me.
90
00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:29,591
Sounds to me like you're showing
off for your big-dick boyfriend.
91
00:04:29,592 --> 00:04:31,674
- Right, guys?
- Come on, Jen, don't be like this.
92
00:04:31,675 --> 00:04:33,716
Why don't you guys just go
straight to your house
93
00:04:33,717 --> 00:04:35,716
and just talk about,
ooh, this so-called "robe."
94
00:04:35,717 --> 00:04:38,133
Fine. We'll talk about Lee
Russell and his made-up robe.
95
00:04:38,134 --> 00:04:39,549
Yeah. Talk about Lee Russell all night.
96
00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:41,632
Fucking laugh and whisper
till the sun comes up.
97
00:04:41,633 --> 00:04:43,133
- We'll just talk about...
- Lee Russell.
98
00:04:43,134 --> 00:04:44,757
Yeah, talk about... Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee.
99
00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:46,924
Okay, guys! Can we please stop
talking about fuckin' Lee Russell!
100
00:04:46,949 --> 00:04:48,632
Please, enjoy the meal, everyone.
101
00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,091
Happy summer to everyone.
102
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God! You fuck!
103
00:04:54,341 --> 00:04:56,215
Damn! Somebody eat
all the fucking mac and cheese?
104
00:04:56,216 --> 00:04:57,674
That shit goes first, man.
105
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,424
You sad as fuck
that Mr. Russell is gone.
106
00:05:01,425 --> 00:05:03,049
Y'all have feelings for each other.
107
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:04,716
It's got to go somewhere, right?
108
00:05:04,717 --> 00:05:05,883
I'm getting more crab.
109
00:05:05,884 --> 00:05:07,632
That crab ain't gonna
help you feel better.
110
00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:09,632
- Hey, Ms. Swift.
- Hey.
111
00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:12,591
Mr. Gamby, there's... there's
a man here to see you.
112
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He says he's with a tiger.
113
00:05:15,341 --> 00:05:17,632
- A fucking tiger?
- God damn it, Swift.
114
00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:19,966
Every time you come around,
something annoying happens.
115
00:05:19,967 --> 00:05:22,049
My best bet's gonna be in here,
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keeping the animal in an area
117
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that can be isolated and controlled
118
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:28,382
in the unlikely event that the
creature's set loose.
119
00:05:28,383 --> 00:05:30,244
Now, I have no fucking
idea how something
120
00:05:30,269 --> 00:05:31,883
like that would ever fucking happen,
121
00:05:31,908 --> 00:05:33,522
but I gotta dot my "I's."
122
00:05:33,546 --> 00:05:35,299
Okay, well, we're not gonna need
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00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,799
a live tiger for graduation.
124
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,674
That was ordered by the old principal.
125
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He was a man obsessed with showboating.
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Yeah, I don't give a shit.
Tiger comes, tiger goes.
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I still get my 25 large.
128
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25 fucking grand?
That's how much he spent?
129
00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:50,842
- You bet.
- Tiger stays.
130
00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:52,925
Yes.
131
00:05:52,926 --> 00:05:56,675
♪ Free bottle, don't you waste it ♪
132
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,591
So, Gamby says you're a writer.
133
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:01,049
Oh god, no, I'm not a writer.
134
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,591
I mean, I gave it a go, but hm-mmm.
135
00:06:02,592 --> 00:06:04,424
You should write Nicholas Sparks books.
136
00:06:04,425 --> 00:06:07,091
- She rips right through them.
- Hey, whose bright idea was it
137
00:06:07,092 --> 00:06:08,464
to make the grad party coed
138
00:06:08,488 --> 00:06:10,465
I just told Janelle she
could invite all her friends.
139
00:06:10,466 --> 00:06:13,841
- It's a really big deal for them.
- ight. Well, who's that one little jackass
140
00:06:13,842 --> 00:06:15,507
that keeps bouncing around by her?
141
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:19,049
- That's Colin.
- He may be her boyfriend.
142
00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:20,632
She's been liking a lot of his Twitters.
143
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:22,632
- I think he looks cute.
- He is cute.
144
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:25,549
Yeah, real cute, trying to 69
my daughter's brains out.
145
00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:27,340
- Neal! Jesus!
- Jesus Christ.
146
00:06:27,341 --> 00:06:29,257
I'm about to throw that
little motherfucker outta here.
147
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,966
- Colin is gone.
- Whoa! No, you're not.
148
00:06:30,967 --> 00:06:33,257
- Yup, yup.
- Nope, nope, nope. Relax, relax, relax.
149
00:06:33,258 --> 00:06:35,302
Please, just let them have fun.
150
00:06:35,326 --> 00:06:36,434
Settle down.
151
00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:37,757
- Want a cookie?
- No.
152
00:06:37,758 --> 00:06:39,215
That's a goddamn miracle.
153
00:06:39,216 --> 00:06:41,382
- What?
- He listens to you.
154
00:06:41,383 --> 00:06:43,549
- "He listens to you."
- Ooh.
155
00:06:43,550 --> 00:06:45,258
♪ Red eyes ♪
156
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:49,133
- Are you okay?
- Hmm?
157
00:06:49,134 --> 00:06:51,549
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, feel good.
158
00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:54,008
My daughter's graduating middle school.
159
00:06:54,009 --> 00:06:57,257
I finally got the girl.
I got the job of my dreams.
160
00:06:57,258 --> 00:06:59,841
- Stoked.
- Oh, yeah?
161
00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:02,049
You don't look stoked.
162
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,091
Come on, what's wrong?
163
00:07:04,092 --> 00:07:06,549
I just can't shake the idea
that Lee betrayed me.
164
00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:08,591
You know? I thought
we were real friends.
165
00:07:08,592 --> 00:07:10,133
I know. It's crazy,
166
00:07:10,134 --> 00:07:13,465
but you can't let him
bring you down anymore.
167
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,049
Try and move on, try and
get him out of your head.
168
00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:19,549
Besides, you have
a graduation to orchestrate.
169
00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:23,591
- That is pretty cool.
- Very cool.
170
00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:26,058
Not just anybody
can orchestrate a graduation.
171
00:07:26,082 --> 00:07:29,924
- Mm-mmm.
- That's a job for a principal.
172
00:07:29,925 --> 00:07:33,424
All right, think. Just think.
173
00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:35,841
Think there, Russell. Think. You're
the smartest person I know, Lee.
174
00:07:35,842 --> 00:07:37,091
You're the smartest person I know.
175
00:07:37,092 --> 00:07:38,591
You've always been smart.
176
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,340
Who framed you? Someone outsmarted you.
177
00:07:40,341 --> 00:07:43,215
Who did it? Think, think,
think, think, think.
178
00:07:43,216 --> 00:07:45,008
Think, think. Just think.
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00:07:45,009 --> 00:07:47,508
Fucking think! Think! Think!
180
00:07:48,466 --> 00:07:50,632
Calm down.
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00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:53,465
Think. Someone put the mask in your car.
182
00:07:53,466 --> 00:07:56,799
The mask. The mask. It was in the trunk.
It was in the trunk of your car.
183
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,009
They put the mask
in the trunk of your...
184
00:08:00,092 --> 00:08:03,091
- Open the window...
- My ex-wife's car.
185
00:08:03,092 --> 00:08:04,299
What the hell are you doing here?
186
00:08:07,383 --> 00:08:09,508
You put it in the trunk.
187
00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:13,675
Bitch!
188
00:08:22,675 --> 00:08:24,215
Jen, what the hell are you doing here?
189
00:08:24,216 --> 00:08:26,424
Just wanted to bring by some
things that you left at my house.
190
00:08:26,425 --> 00:08:28,174
I didn't leave anything at your house.
191
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,174
Really? Then what are these?
192
00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:32,674
Those are not my panties. Those
are little boys' underwear.
193
00:08:32,675 --> 00:08:34,591
Fine. Who cares?
194
00:08:34,592 --> 00:08:36,008
Are you okay?
195
00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:39,424
When you left me last semester,
it fucked up my head.
196
00:08:39,425 --> 00:08:42,549
But then I got you back and
then I felt at peace again,
197
00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:44,340
but now, all this stuff, all this...
198
00:08:44,341 --> 00:08:45,841
uck, you and Snodgrass,
199
00:08:45,842 --> 00:08:48,008
and I'm fucked in my head again.
And the only thing
200
00:08:48,009 --> 00:08:50,049
that's gonna fix that is if
me and you get married.
201
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:53,008
Okay, well, we're not
gonna get married, Jen, okay?
202
00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:55,632
And I'm very sorry for fucking
you inside of your head.
203
00:08:55,633 --> 00:08:58,674
I didn't mean to do that. Look,
this year has been very tough.
204
00:08:58,675 --> 00:09:00,215
I've done a lot of shit
that I've regretted,
205
00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:02,050
and hurting you
is definitely one of 'em.
206
00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:07,133
Can I just go in your house and
use the bathroom for a minute?
207
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:10,507
Oh yeah, of course you can.
I gotta get ready for graduation.
208
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,215
Thanks. I'm not gonna shit, though.
I just wanna go in for a second.
209
00:09:13,216 --> 00:09:16,174
Even if you do make a poop, just
flush it, make sure it goes away.
210
00:09:16,175 --> 00:09:18,049
Thanks, Neal.
211
00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:19,215
That's sweet.
212
00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:22,633
I'll just see how it goes in there.
213
00:09:31,717 --> 00:09:33,382
- Russell.
- No, sir.
214
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,233
- Get the fuck outta here.
- I know. I know. I know...
215
00:09:35,257 --> 00:09:37,051
- you said you never wanna see me again.
- You're dead to me.
216
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,358
- Leave.
- Just listen to me!
217
00:09:38,383 --> 00:09:41,424
I know that you don't believe a
word that comes out of my mouth,
218
00:09:41,425 --> 00:09:43,716
but I didn't shoot you, Gamby.
219
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:46,175
- It was...
- Russell.
220
00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:48,716
her.
221
00:09:48,717 --> 00:09:51,091
You crazy fucking bitch.
You did it, didn't you?
222
00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:53,091
- What the fuck is going on here?
- Didn't you?
223
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,257
Admit it. Yes, you did it.
224
00:09:54,258 --> 00:09:56,091
That little smile on your fucking face.
225
00:09:56,092 --> 00:09:57,591
You put the mask in my car, didn't you?
226
00:09:57,592 --> 00:10:00,174
You were jealous of mine and
Gamby's relationship. Just say it.
227
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,174
Abbott is your shooter, Gamby.
228
00:10:03,175 --> 00:10:04,966
This crazy bitch, she shot you that...
229
00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,757
God damn it!
230
00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:09,341
Fuck!
231
00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:12,299
- Jen, what the fuck?
- You hurt me, Gamby,
232
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,549
and when people hurt me,
I get really, really sad.
233
00:10:14,550 --> 00:10:17,674
- You killed Russell!
- Yes, I know! I fucking hated him.
234
00:10:17,675 --> 00:10:20,632
Duh! Okay? And now I'm
gonna kill you and me.
235
00:10:20,633 --> 00:10:22,966
- Oh, no, no!
- I can't do another fall semester, Gamby.
236
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:25,424
- I just fucking can't.
- Oh, fuck! Jen, no!
237
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,591
- You picked the wrong bitch.
- No! God! Stop!
238
00:10:28,592 --> 00:10:32,049
Okay, look, you want to do a
murder-combo-death-suicide thing, fine.
239
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:34,174
That's okay. I've done
some terrible stuff this year.
240
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,841
Maybe me being dead is
what's supposed to happen,
241
00:10:36,842 --> 00:10:38,841
but not here, not next to Russell.
242
00:10:38,842 --> 00:10:41,215
- I mean, that's gross, right?
- That is gross.
243
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:44,549
I have a special place, Jen.
It's beautiful.
244
00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:47,799
It's... it's the perfect place for two
lovers to commit suicide together.
245
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,174
- It's beautiful?
- Yeah, it's so awesome.
246
00:10:51,175 --> 00:10:52,550
Okay, take me to it.
247
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:01,216
There'll be no... no hums.
248
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:14,091
Here we are. This is my special place.
249
00:11:14,092 --> 00:11:15,841
It's incredible, right?
250
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,674
Yeah, it's beautiful.
251
00:11:17,675 --> 00:11:19,340
What are you doing?
252
00:11:19,341 --> 00:11:21,549
I'm getting down on bended knee for you.
253
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:28,340
- Shit!
- You liar!
254
00:11:30,633 --> 00:11:32,049
God damn it!
255
00:11:41,842 --> 00:11:44,674
- Oh, Christ.
- Ow! Fuck!
256
00:11:44,675 --> 00:11:47,507
Gamby, you asshole!
I'm gonna go to graduation,
257
00:11:47,508 --> 00:11:50,465
- and I'm gonna fucking kill Snodgrass.
- Don't you dare.
258
00:11:50,466 --> 00:11:53,382
I'm doing it, so see ya.
259
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,257
Have fun dying in a fucking hole.
260
00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:57,382
You fucking dumb bitch! You're crazy!
261
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,175
I know I'm crazy,
'cause I fucking love you!
262
00:12:09,175 --> 00:12:13,799
Help! Help!
263
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,050
Help!
264
00:12:17,508 --> 00:12:19,674
- Help!
- Gamby?
265
00:12:19,675 --> 00:12:22,716
- Russell!
- Gamby!
266
00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:24,340
- Russell!
- Where are you?
267
00:12:24,341 --> 00:12:26,174
I'm in the bottom of a fucking hole!
268
00:12:26,175 --> 00:12:28,133
Well, I don't know
where the fucking hole is!
269
00:12:28,134 --> 00:12:30,717
Just follow my voice! Marco!
270
00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:34,674
- Marco!
- Oh, my God.
271
00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:36,094
I'm so glad you're not dead.
272
00:12:36,118 --> 00:12:38,008
Oh, my God, I'm so glad you're not dead.
273
00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:40,257
Jen's gonna kill Amanda.
We have to get to graduation.
274
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:42,924
- Say you're sorry.
- For what?
275
00:12:42,925 --> 00:12:45,382
For not believing in our friendship.
276
00:12:45,383 --> 00:12:47,841
Jesus Christ.
277
00:12:47,842 --> 00:12:49,966
I'm sorry I didn't believe
in our friendship.
278
00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:52,049
- It was mean.
- Okay, it was mean.
279
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:54,299
Now will you get the fucking
ladder and get me out of here?
280
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,716
And stop telling me what to do.
281
00:12:56,717 --> 00:12:58,215
The ladder's in my tool shed!
282
00:12:58,216 --> 00:13:01,258
It's in my tool shed
above my computer printers!
283
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,424
Thank you.
284
00:13:03,425 --> 00:13:06,340
One, two, three. Say, "Cheese."
285
00:13:06,341 --> 00:13:07,507
Cheese.
286
00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:09,757
That's crazy, seeing it up close.
287
00:13:09,758 --> 00:13:11,507
At least she ain't dangerous.
288
00:13:11,508 --> 00:13:14,382
What? She's a fucking tiger.
289
00:13:14,383 --> 00:13:16,008
Dangerous? Huh?
290
00:13:18,092 --> 00:13:19,549
Now, don't get it riled up now.
291
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,883
Don't you look at me.
Don't you fucking look at me.
292
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,424
What the hell is wrong?
Chill with that shit.
293
00:13:23,425 --> 00:13:26,924
Oh, hey, bro. This tiger will
eat your fucking face off.
294
00:13:26,925 --> 00:13:28,382
That's why we keep her in a cage.
295
00:13:28,383 --> 00:13:30,382
You do that shit one more
time, I'm hauling ass
296
00:13:30,383 --> 00:13:32,257
and leaving all y'all
motherfuckers up in here.
297
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,424
Remember, we want clothes
underneath those gowns.
298
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,799
All right? No butts, Dave.
299
00:13:56,258 --> 00:13:58,883
- Smile. Big...
- Big smiles. This is an exciting day.
300
00:13:58,884 --> 00:14:00,299
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
301
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,549
- Stupid. Break a leg, everybody!
- No beach balls.
302
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,257
- Break a leg! Mm-hmm.
- Hold this a sec.
303
00:14:12,508 --> 00:14:13,757
Hey.
304
00:14:13,758 --> 00:14:16,507
- Hey. Hey, whoa, Jen.
- When did we stop being friends?
305
00:14:16,508 --> 00:14:19,924
Was it when you fucked Bill Hayden
when you knew I had feelings for him?
306
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,591
I didn't know that you liked him.
307
00:14:21,592 --> 00:14:23,257
Or was it when you fucked Neal Gamby
308
00:14:23,258 --> 00:14:25,340
when you knew that he and I
were meant to be together?
309
00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:28,008
- Please help me remember.
- I don't really know what's going on.
310
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:30,507
I'll tell you what's happening.
I'm about to make the news, bitch.
311
00:14:30,508 --> 00:14:32,632
- No, let's not.
- Snodgrass and Abbott,
312
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:34,674
rivals since the year began.
313
00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:36,632
Oh, God!
314
00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:41,009
- You bitch!
- Get the fuck off of me!
315
00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:45,716
I'm gonna ruin that pretty
little face of yours.
316
00:14:45,741 --> 00:14:47,233
- Shit. Shit.
- It's okay. It's okay.
317
00:14:47,258 --> 00:14:49,757
Fuck. There's Abbott's car,
illegally parked.
318
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,883
Maybe we should make it
so she can't use it to get away.
319
00:14:51,884 --> 00:14:54,215
- Good idea. Hold on.
- Oh, no.
320
00:14:54,216 --> 00:14:55,633
Oh, my God!
321
00:14:56,884 --> 00:14:59,049
Oh, my God. Well, I just meant
322
00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:01,966
maybe we should slash her tires
or something, but this is good.
323
00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:16,341
You little fucking mermaid.
324
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,134
Oh!
325
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:24,675
Ow!
326
00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:35,424
A diagnosis like that
could've been career-ending.
327
00:15:35,425 --> 00:15:39,507
It could've sent my family
into a tailspin.
328
00:15:39,508 --> 00:15:41,591
That tiger does not look happy.
329
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,591
I don't know why y'all trying
to put some shit in a cage.
330
00:15:43,592 --> 00:15:45,133
Whose idea was this, anyway?
331
00:15:45,134 --> 00:15:46,549
- What the fuck?
- Oh, my God.
332
00:15:46,550 --> 00:15:48,549
Holy smokes! God, are you okay?
333
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:50,549
- Neal!
- Oh, my God. Fuck!
334
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,008
I thought you were gonna be murdered.
335
00:15:52,009 --> 00:15:55,133
- Oh!
- Oh, fuck. I'm so happy to see you.
336
00:15:55,134 --> 00:15:57,174
- You too. Oh.
- Blood.
337
00:15:57,175 --> 00:16:00,549
Russell wasn't the shooter.
It was Abbott.
338
00:16:00,550 --> 00:16:02,049
She just tried to kill me.
339
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,424
- Yeah, she tried to kill us too.
- I told you she was crazy.
340
00:16:04,425 --> 00:16:05,883
Lady, what the fuck?
341
00:16:05,884 --> 00:16:08,632
- Don't do that!
- If I can't have a beautiful life,
342
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:11,174
at least I'll have a beautiful death.
343
00:16:11,175 --> 00:16:13,424
No, no, no.
344
00:16:13,425 --> 00:16:15,050
Fucking eat me!
345
00:16:16,258 --> 00:16:17,674
Oh, shit. Here it go.
346
00:16:17,675 --> 00:16:20,799
Stay perfectly still. If you
run, this fucker will chase you.
347
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,967
Eat me!
348
00:16:24,675 --> 00:16:27,799
Oh! Oh! Oh!
349
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,841
Go!
350
00:16:33,216 --> 00:16:35,133
How's this? Oh, do it. Come on!
351
00:16:35,134 --> 00:16:37,883
You open this fucking door!
352
00:16:37,884 --> 00:16:39,632
Come on!
353
00:16:43,092 --> 00:16:45,424
Close it! Close the thing! Oh!
354
00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:47,841
- What the fuck are we gonna do, Gamby?
- We're clear!
355
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,133
Fuck this shit. I'm going home.
356
00:16:52,134 --> 00:16:54,674
Neal! Let me out of here!
357
00:16:54,699 --> 00:16:56,532
- Crazy bitch!
- What do we do about
358
00:16:56,556 --> 00:16:58,382
- all those people in graduation?
- Oh, God.
359
00:16:58,407 --> 00:17:00,757
Safety's always foremost
in the mind of a principal.
360
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,215
Minimizing loss and injury
should be the first goal.
361
00:17:03,216 --> 00:17:04,507
We evacuate.
362
00:17:04,508 --> 00:17:07,340
...for my young son, my wife,
363
00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:09,424
but I refused to give in.
364
00:17:09,425 --> 00:17:13,465
I worked too damn hard to let
this disease cut my time short,
365
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,717
I knew I had to fight. I...
366
00:17:19,675 --> 00:17:23,340
- I knew that...
- Back up, back up. Back up, please.
367
00:17:23,341 --> 00:17:25,174
Everyone please remain calm.
368
00:17:25,175 --> 00:17:27,507
Faculty members,
if you would all please rise,
369
00:17:27,508 --> 00:17:31,049
and please get into the assigned
positions for a Code Orange.
370
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,841
This is not a drill.
There has been an incident.
371
00:17:33,842 --> 00:17:36,382
Students, please. Stay calm. Sit down.
372
00:17:36,383 --> 00:17:38,674
I didn't say... no!
Don't tell people to stand.
373
00:17:38,675 --> 00:17:41,424
That is not what we do in a Code Orange!
What the fuck, Delores?
374
00:17:41,425 --> 00:17:44,091
Who the hell do you think you are,
messing up my son's graduation?
375
00:17:44,092 --> 00:17:45,722
Oh, okay, you know what?
This isn't really
376
00:17:45,747 --> 00:17:47,049
a question-answer thing right now,
377
00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:48,841
because this is a serious situation.
378
00:17:48,842 --> 00:17:53,215
But if you must know, a woman that
I had secret sexual relations with
379
00:17:53,216 --> 00:17:56,883
pretty much the whole entire
school year tried to murder me.
380
00:17:56,884 --> 00:17:59,382
She shot me at the end of last semester,
381
00:17:59,383 --> 00:18:01,299
then returned to finish me off here,
382
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:05,133
and also tried to kill my very
dear friend, Lee Russell,
383
00:18:05,134 --> 00:18:08,424
and my new girlfriend, Amanda Snodgrass.
384
00:18:08,425 --> 00:18:10,424
- Hey.
- Hey, baby.
385
00:18:10,425 --> 00:18:13,591
And the woman also let out the tiger
386
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,257
that many of you
were taking pictures with,
387
00:18:15,258 --> 00:18:17,008
and he ate a person.
388
00:18:17,009 --> 00:18:20,424
Uh, uh, relax, it's okay.
The situation is under control,
389
00:18:20,425 --> 00:18:22,757
and the tiger is contained,
so we're good.
390
00:18:22,758 --> 00:18:27,465
All we have to do now is evacuate
safely and make sure nobody gets hurt.
391
00:18:27,466 --> 00:18:29,549
We're gonna use these side doors,
392
00:18:29,550 --> 00:18:32,674
because out those doors,
the carnivorous creature roams.
393
00:18:32,675 --> 00:18:35,008
Without further ado, as the acting
394
00:18:35,055 --> 00:18:37,049
principal of North Jackson High School,
395
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,091
it is with great honor that I begin
396
00:18:39,092 --> 00:18:42,424
the evacuation of this graduation.
397
00:19:14,258 --> 00:19:16,591
Man, that tiger ate the shit
out of that trainer.
398
00:19:16,592 --> 00:19:18,716
Yeah, I got EMT and Animal
Control on the way.
399
00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:20,632
Crisis averted! Ah!
400
00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:22,841
It seems like we got
everybody out of the school.
401
00:19:22,842 --> 00:19:24,465
You gonna put me in a cage,
you blonde bitch?
402
00:19:24,466 --> 00:19:26,049
Oh, will you shut the fuck up?
403
00:19:26,050 --> 00:19:27,465
Oh, damn.
404
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,507
She hit that button.
405
00:19:29,508 --> 00:19:31,008
- No, she didn't.
- Yes, she did.
406
00:19:32,425 --> 00:19:34,757
Here she comes!
407
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,674
She's gonna eat your fucking face off.
408
00:19:36,699 --> 00:19:38,259
- What are we running for?
- What?
409
00:19:38,283 --> 00:19:40,799
- I can end this right here.
- Yes, shoot his ass.
410
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,049
- You want some?
- No.
411
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:43,424
- Yes.
- Not like that.
412
00:19:43,425 --> 00:19:46,133
- Put the gun down.
- Oh. What the fuck are you doing?
413
00:19:46,134 --> 00:19:49,841
Shh. I'm harmonizing.
414
00:19:49,842 --> 00:19:52,215
With the tiger?
415
00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:56,508
Learning that the truth
can set a man free.
416
00:20:00,341 --> 00:20:01,883
I'm mastering myself,
417
00:20:01,884 --> 00:20:06,008
becoming one with the world around me.
418
00:20:06,009 --> 00:20:09,383
I've already defied death once today.
419
00:20:10,508 --> 00:20:11,592
I will do it again.
420
00:20:13,009 --> 00:20:15,008
Just relax, brother.
421
00:20:15,009 --> 00:20:18,632
I, too, have been where you are.
422
00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:19,924
Stand down.
423
00:20:21,009 --> 00:20:22,717
- Oh, shit!
- Yes!
424
00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:28,757
The fucking tiger's eating Russell!
425
00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:31,841
Goddamn battle cat's loose in the school!
426
00:20:31,842 --> 00:20:33,883
Run! Get the fuck outta here!
427
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,466
Russell!
428
00:20:39,216 --> 00:20:40,466
Russell!
429
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,549
Oh, my God. Fuck.
430
00:20:46,550 --> 00:20:48,549
Shithead got a piece of me.
431
00:20:48,550 --> 00:20:49,841
Don't move, okay?
432
00:20:49,842 --> 00:20:52,799
Uh, just... just save your energy.
433
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,549
I can't believe I got ate by a tiger.
434
00:20:55,550 --> 00:20:57,674
Are you fucking kidding me?
435
00:20:57,675 --> 00:21:00,757
- It's insane.
- Oh, I can see it now.
436
00:21:00,758 --> 00:21:04,133
"A principal gets eaten
by a fucking tiger,
437
00:21:04,134 --> 00:21:05,799
a mascot of the school."
438
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:09,424
I always wanted press,
but god, this is so stupid.
439
00:21:09,425 --> 00:21:12,257
Shh, shh, shh. Just save your energy.
Don't talk, okay?
440
00:21:12,258 --> 00:21:13,632
Well, if I die right now, Gamby,
441
00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:16,757
I sure as hell don't wanna
be staring at you just silently.
442
00:21:16,758 --> 00:21:18,925
Okay, that's fair enough.
443
00:21:21,009 --> 00:21:22,842
This is the favorite year of...
444
00:21:24,092 --> 00:21:25,550
of my whole life.
445
00:21:27,425 --> 00:21:30,049
- Mine too.
- I know what we did was wrong,
446
00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:32,175
but... I liked it.
447
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:35,009
It was fun.
448
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,591
- Yeah, it was fun.
- Yeah.
449
00:21:38,592 --> 00:21:41,383
It gave us a chance
to get to know each other.
450
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:45,299
Let us become friends.
451
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,341
Never had a friend
like you before, Russell.
452
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,800
I love you, Gamby.
453
00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:54,133
You're my friend too, man.
454
00:21:54,134 --> 00:21:56,133
You fucking what?
455
00:21:56,134 --> 00:21:59,133
Come on, man.
Just... just fucking say it.
456
00:21:59,134 --> 00:22:00,966
Honestly we're here, just say it.
457
00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:02,841
Say what? I told you that
you're my friend too.
458
00:22:02,842 --> 00:22:05,465
Oh, I just told you
that I fucking love you.
459
00:22:05,466 --> 00:22:08,049
Okay, I heard you. I just don't
say that to my male friends.
460
00:22:08,050 --> 00:22:10,799
I only say that to superhot
babes and to my family.
461
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,008
Jesus. I'm about to die, motherfucker.
462
00:22:13,009 --> 00:22:15,091
- You're not gonna die, Russell.
- I am.
463
00:22:15,092 --> 00:22:18,799
I'm gonna fucking bleed out on
this stupid fucking school floor.
464
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:19,966
Okay, fine, fine.
465
00:22:19,967 --> 00:22:22,174
Say it.
466
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:24,008
- I...
- Hey.
467
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,091
Look at me.
468
00:22:25,092 --> 00:22:26,757
Look at me.
469
00:22:26,758 --> 00:22:30,717
Now... just... say it.
470
00:22:32,009 --> 00:22:33,883
I love you, Russell.
471
00:22:33,884 --> 00:22:35,592
One more time.
472
00:22:37,009 --> 00:22:38,340
I love you.
473
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:43,009
I love you too, Gamby.
474
00:22:51,675 --> 00:22:54,091
Oh. She's back.
475
00:22:54,092 --> 00:22:57,091
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- I fucking hate tigers.
476
00:22:57,092 --> 00:22:59,757
Buddy, just go, just get
out of here. Honestly.
477
00:22:59,758 --> 00:23:01,174
Just save yourself, okay?
478
00:23:01,175 --> 00:23:04,717
No, Russell. I'm not gonna
leave you in here by yourself.
479
00:23:06,633 --> 00:23:08,799
Fuck this $25,000 tiger.
480
00:23:17,050 --> 00:23:19,424
Fucking cock-sucking fucking tiger.
481
00:23:19,425 --> 00:23:21,382
You're gonna eat my fucking friend?
482
00:23:21,383 --> 00:23:25,134
Well, bitch...
483
00:23:30,050 --> 00:23:31,175
Fuck you!
484
00:24:38,659 --> 00:24:41,733
_
485
00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:51,091
- Don't be nervous.
- I'm not.
486
00:24:51,092 --> 00:24:53,133
High school is very intimidating, okay?
487
00:24:53,134 --> 00:24:55,257
But you'll get used to it.
You'll learn to survive
488
00:24:55,258 --> 00:24:58,299
and then you'll leave. That's
how life works, sweetheart.
489
00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:01,257
- I know. I'm excited.
- Well, watch that as well.
490
00:25:01,258 --> 00:25:03,549
You don't wanna go in here
with super-high expectations
491
00:25:03,550 --> 00:25:04,966
then you shit the bed and don't like it,
492
00:25:04,967 --> 00:25:06,424
because it's not like a teen movie.
493
00:25:06,425 --> 00:25:09,091
- It's real life. It's tough.
- Wish you still worked here.
494
00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:12,050
You'll be in good hands.
495
00:25:14,466 --> 00:25:17,675
Shamrocks. What a lame mascot.
496
00:25:20,341 --> 00:25:22,508
- I love you, sweetheart.
- I love you too.
497
00:25:24,258 --> 00:25:27,340
- Good luck.
- Good luck with your first day, too.
498
00:25:37,134 --> 00:25:38,466
Hmm.
499
00:26:14,693 --> 00:26:15,717
Hey, how's it going?
500
00:26:15,718 --> 00:26:17,592
Neal Gamby. I'm the new principal.
501
00:26:22,717 --> 00:26:24,883
- Yoo-hoo. Am I in the wrong office?
- Oh! No.
502
00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:27,340
Sorry. No, this is your office.
I'm Vice Principal Miggs.
503
00:26:27,341 --> 00:26:30,215
I just was seeing what it was like
to sit in this chair, you know?
504
00:26:30,216 --> 00:26:31,841
Yeah, no reason to apologize.
505
00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,924
Pleasure to meet you. Why don't
you hop on out of there?
506
00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:35,091
Oh. Yes, sir.
507
00:26:36,425 --> 00:26:39,799
So, Vice Principal Miggs, huh?
508
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,091
- Yes.
- Well, I'm Neal Gamby.
509
00:26:42,116 --> 00:26:43,586
- Hello.
- So,
510
00:26:43,587 --> 00:26:45,281
what's the story
with the old principal here?
511
00:26:45,306 --> 00:26:49,049
He was a bit of a banana, so we're
very happy to see you, sir.
512
00:26:49,050 --> 00:26:50,835
Mmm.
513
00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:52,904
Do you mind if I shoot you straight
right out of the gate?
514
00:26:52,928 --> 00:26:54,295
Please.
515
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,091
I'm the new sheriff in town,
and you're my deputy,
516
00:26:57,092 --> 00:26:59,591
and if we want this school
to function properly,
517
00:26:59,592 --> 00:27:02,299
well, we're gonna have
to work together as a team.
518
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:03,591
Simpatico.
519
00:27:03,592 --> 00:27:06,949
Now, I'm not really sure
what your ambitions are,
520
00:27:07,050 --> 00:27:08,957
but from the looks of it,
I can imagine they
521
00:27:09,004 --> 00:27:10,841
probably have something
to do with this chair.
522
00:27:10,842 --> 00:27:13,799
And that's cool. I understand that.
523
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,133
But for now, this is my chair.
524
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:20,299
This throne belongs to me,
and if you choose to defy me,
525
00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:22,902
I'll feed you to the fucking sharks.
526
00:27:23,136 --> 00:27:25,425
Do I make myself clear?
527
00:27:26,967 --> 00:27:29,768
- Loud and clear, boss.
- Now, if you just give me a moment
528
00:27:29,793 --> 00:27:31,215
to set some things up, we can begin.
529
00:27:31,216 --> 00:27:32,758
Yes, sir.
530
00:27:34,717 --> 00:27:37,092
The door... open or closed?
531
00:27:38,717 --> 00:27:40,092
Open.
532
00:27:53,967 --> 00:27:57,592
You look so good in this, girl. Enjoy.
533
00:28:00,300 --> 00:28:02,174
I'm gonna go have a smoke.
534
00:28:02,175 --> 00:28:05,674
- Oh. You so crazy.
- What are you talking about?
535
00:28:05,675 --> 00:28:08,008
Well, you take damn four
bathroom breaks an hour.
536
00:28:08,009 --> 00:28:09,674
Now you're gonna throw in
smoking breaks too?
537
00:28:09,675 --> 00:28:10,860
No, hell you're not, little girl.
538
00:28:10,892 --> 00:28:12,340
Get your ass back behind this register.
539
00:28:12,341 --> 00:28:14,507
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me.
540
00:28:14,508 --> 00:28:18,632
I am the regional manager
of all Apricot Lane Boutiques.
541
00:28:18,633 --> 00:28:21,174
Above you. Now, you
wanna start something?
542
00:28:21,175 --> 00:28:23,008
Create a little commotion right now?
543
00:28:23,009 --> 00:28:25,924
I will make your ass straight
disappear, just vaporize...
544
00:28:25,925 --> 00:28:28,841
you and that 30% discount
you get on all your clothes.
545
00:28:28,842 --> 00:28:31,757
Say something, it's gone.
All of it, gone.
546
00:28:31,758 --> 00:28:32,842
Okay.
547
00:28:34,508 --> 00:28:37,133
Now cover me. I'm gonna go have a smoke.
548
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:41,841
"The wizard marched out of his kingdom.
549
00:28:41,842 --> 00:28:45,133
"Not the one he desired,
but the one he earned.
550
00:28:45,268 --> 00:28:48,924
"And the warrior,
finding peace within himself
551
00:28:49,057 --> 00:28:52,050
"finally found the treasure
he was searching for.
552
00:28:53,300 --> 00:28:56,133
"The kingdom was lost,
but across galaxies
553
00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:58,049
"and across dimensions,
554
00:28:58,108 --> 00:29:00,716
"a friendship was forged
between good and evil,
555
00:29:00,795 --> 00:29:03,925
"the likes of which this land
had never seen...
556
00:29:05,009 --> 00:29:06,258
nor would see again."
557
00:29:09,550 --> 00:29:10,884
Thank you.
558
00:29:13,925 --> 00:29:15,618
Thank you so much.
559
00:29:15,861 --> 00:29:16,931
- No, way.
- I think they thought...
560
00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:17,889
that the book was awesome.
561
00:29:17,914 --> 00:29:19,233
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
562
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,757
- God, I hope so.
- The cover's not too bad.
563
00:29:21,758 --> 00:29:23,591
I'm stoked that my dad is
coming to the next reading.
564
00:29:23,592 --> 00:29:27,091
- Mmm, good.
- Are you nervous about meeting him?
565
00:29:27,116 --> 00:29:28,608
- No.
- I think it'll be fun.
566
00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:32,257
He's pretty laid back. Do you
know that he likes to get high?
567
00:29:32,258 --> 00:29:34,841
He's a really nice guy.
He might come at you
568
00:29:34,866 --> 00:29:36,532
pretty quick and hard...
569
00:30:30,617 --> 00:30:34,275
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
41120
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