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1
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,749
Go and get the dogs.
2
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,457
Come on, then. Mews!
3
00:02:02,583 --> 00:02:07,499
Come on, now. Open your mouth.
Open your mouth, eh?
4
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,415
Learn to appreciate your food, eh?
5
00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:15,749
Compared to what you serve up
in that dirty little canteen of yours,
6
00:02:16,041 --> 00:02:19,415
this is a three-star supper.
7
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,749
You must learn the rules.
8
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:27,415
I need to eat and drink the very best
and that's expensive.
9
00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:30,624
Have you ever heard of
chicken â la reine Marie
10
00:02:30,625 --> 00:02:32,790
or oyster sauce mornay
11
00:02:32,791 --> 00:02:35,415
or frogs' legs Parisienne?
12
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,540
No. Course you haven't.
13
00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:40,499
Take his pants down! Take his pants down.
14
00:02:48,916 --> 00:02:51,749
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
15
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:55,124
Didn't your daddy teach you
to wipe your bottom? Eh?
16
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,540
Albert! Leave him alone.
17
00:02:57,541 --> 00:03:00,499
- Come on, let's eat.
- Oh, let's eat.
18
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:05,040
Before we eat, Georgina,
we must feed and water the animals.
19
00:03:06,125 --> 00:03:09,874
Roy! This is my wife, Georgina Spica.
20
00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:12,499
She's got a heart of gold and a body to match.
21
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:17,040
l am Albert Spica and l have a heart of gold
and a great deal of money to match.
22
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:22,540
And you are Roy, who's got absolutely nothing,
except what you owe me.
23
00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:28,415
You are humiliated in front of a lady,
you're humiliated in front of us.
24
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,540
Georgina, l'll be as quick as I possibly can.
25
00:03:32,791 --> 00:03:37,415
Gah... You, go and get me some hot water, eh?
And a towel and soap.
26
00:03:37,416 --> 00:03:39,749
Now...
27
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:42,415
Yeah.
28
00:03:42,416 --> 00:03:46,374
Now l've given you a good dinner
and you can have a nice drink.
29
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:49,749
Now, you behave yourself in future
and pay when I ask you.
30
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:52,915
- No, no, no...
- Or next time l'll make you eat your own shit
31
00:03:52,916 --> 00:03:56,165
after forcing it through your dick like toothpaste.
32
00:03:56,166 --> 00:04:00,999
No, put that away, Spangler.
Cor blimey, there's a lady present.
33
00:04:01,291 --> 00:04:05,165
She doesn't want to see
your shrivelled contributions.
34
00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:07,165
Ah.
35
00:04:07,166 --> 00:04:10,415
That's it. Thank you very much. Nice, clean...
36
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,999
Give me that towel!
37
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,290
Give me that. Yeah.
38
00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:20,874
l never liked that Chinese food
but looking at you now, I like it even less.
39
00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:23,374
Righto, boys!
40
00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:26,874
We must surprise Richard on our anniversary.
41
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,999
Bring the letters.
42
00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:34,874
Georgie, you got ash on your tits.
lf you're gonna wear black, don't smoke.
43
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:38,499
- You look like a tart in black.
- It's blue.
44
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:42,249
It's black, and don't smoke. It's sloppy in a woman.
45
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:44,582
No one who's going to eat smokes.
46
00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:48,749
lt ruins your taste buds, burns your tongue
and makes your pee stink.
47
00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:51,249
- Rubbish.
- lt's not bloody rubbish.
48
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,749
l've smelt the loo
after you've been piddling in there.
49
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:57,582
When are you gonna learn, smartarse?
50
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:07,124
♪ Have mercy upon me ♪
51
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:11,457
Come on, hurry up, boys.
52
00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:14,624
♪ ... Upon me ♪
53
00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:21,082
Righto, lads, get them numbers up there -
Spica & Boarst.
54
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:31,082
♪ Blot out my transgressions ♪
55
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:39,249
♪ Purge me with hyssop ♪
56
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:45,999
♪ And l shall be clean ♪
57
00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:55,374
♪ Wash me ♪
58
00:05:55,375 --> 00:06:01,749
♪ And l shall be whiter than snow ♪
59
00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:06,582
Where's Richard?
60
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:09,832
- He's plucking.
- He's plucking, eh? Richard!
61
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:13,082
Where are you?
Stop that plucking. Where are you?
62
00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:15,999
Now what's that? A-S-P...
63
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:20,374
That's nonsense. Spell it right, for Christ's sake.
64
00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:24,457
Bloody hell. Richard! Rich... Ah!
65
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:27,249
There you are, Richard. Now...
66
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:30,499
Leave that out and come and see
what I've got you, eh?
67
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:34,249
I've brought you a present.
This is our anniversary.
68
00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:37,957
Three months of mutual understanding,
eh, Richard?
69
00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:43,499
Three months since l first invited you
to be my favourite restaurateur.
70
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:47,207
Mr Spica, this is a duck.
71
00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:49,749
Ducks are born with the feathers on
72
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:52,457
but it's your dinner, Mr Spica.
73
00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:57,457
If you want the feathers to remain,
we could try the dish,
74
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:01,874
I suppose, by leaving the feathers as they are.
75
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,999
Canard en ses plumes torche.
76
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:08,124
Mitchel, you mule.
77
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:10,707
'Ere, Richard, come and see, come on.
78
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:13,749
Please, l beg you. Ha! Come on.
79
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:20,499
Georgina, how many times have l told you?
No smoking in the kitchen.
80
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:25,457
Mitchel, get your arse down here quick. Come on.
81
00:07:25,458 --> 00:07:30,624
Now, Richard, this is your... well, our new sign.
82
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,374
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da! ♪
83
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,874
Wallop!
84
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:44,499
Oh, God!
85
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:47,874
Richard.
86
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:52,582
- lt's dark in the restaurant.
- Yes, Phillipe.
87
00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:56,874
Thanks to Mr Spica's generosity,
it is dark everywhere.
88
00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:03,082
No power, no light.
89
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:09,624
- Were you thinking of a cold buffet tonight?
- But l don't want a cold buffet.
90
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:15,374
- Paté d'alouettes with a chicory sauce.
- Paté d'alouettes with a chicory sauce.
91
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:20,749
- Terrine de caneton.
- Terrine de canton.
92
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:26,374
- Cold turkey with lemon and basilica.
- Cold turkey with the lemon and basilica.
93
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,874
Anchovies in garlic vinegar.
94
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:32,665
lt doesn't have to be cold,
you've got gas, for God's sake!
95
00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:38,999
Got an arse on her
like two greased watermelons in a sack.
96
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:42,540
Cold chicken, paté d'alouettes,
97
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:46,415
salade de langoustine,
gâteau de carottes et Gruyére...
98
00:08:46,416 --> 00:08:51,540
You. You put them electrics right, Mitchel.
Put them electrics right or...
99
00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:55,665
You don't eat.
100
00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:01,165
l told you not to smoke.
101
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:05,999
I should stand still, Mr Spica. Or who knows?
102
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,540
You might spoil something,
put your foot in something.
103
00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:14,290
So, a hot meal for tonight.
Something special, please. How about some...
104
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:18,915
some, er, les oh d'oeuvres, er, gâteau au poivres,
105
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:23,749
er, terrine et fillet lamb et poison au er, poi, poi...
106
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:27,665
- It's "poisson".
- What did you say, Georgie?
107
00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:29,915
What did you say? What did you say?
108
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,040
Poisson.
109
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:43,499
- Well, Mr Spica, l hope you are hungry.
- Always. Get in there, boys.
110
00:09:47,541 --> 00:09:52,415
Go on, Georgie, go in there,
raise your skirts and warm my seat.
111
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:59,499
Eh, what do you think then, eh? What do you?
112
00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:09,290
lf you spent as much money
on the meal, Mr Spica,
113
00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:12,290
as you waste on the decor,
114
00:10:12,291 --> 00:10:16,749
your taste in good food must surely improve.
115
00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:23,999
You'll cheek me once too often, Boarst.
You rely on me, don't forget.
116
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,249
Without me, you, a foreigner,
you wouldn't last long around here.
117
00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:31,124
Look out there, see what I've brought you.
118
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:34,999
Two vans full of good stuff,
just right for your kitchen.
119
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,415
- l would not touch it.
- Why on earth not?
120
00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:42,540
l insist on buying my own food, Mr Spica.
121
00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:46,040
Then I can be sure of its quality.
122
00:10:46,041 --> 00:10:49,790
l represent quality round here,
my name is known for it.
123
00:10:49,791 --> 00:10:53,540
I offer quality and protection.
124
00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:58,249
Protection against what,
I wonder, Mr Spica? And whom?
125
00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:02,665
Protection, Boarst,
against the rash temper of my men.
126
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:07,915
Against a sudden arrival of food poisoning.
127
00:11:08,791 --> 00:11:12,915
Against rats. Against the public health inspector.
128
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:17,540
lf you are hungry tonight,
you are going to have to wait.
129
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:21,790
Do up the third button
of your expensive jacket, Mr Spica.
130
00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:28,665
You'll feel less empty inside, Mr Spica.
131
00:11:29,041 --> 00:11:31,415
You can't make me wait.
132
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:35,915
♪ Deliver me ♪
133
00:11:35,916 --> 00:11:43,290
♪ From blood-guiltiness ♪
134
00:11:44,916 --> 00:11:48,415
♪ O God ♪
135
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:53,415
♪ My tongue shall sing aloud ♪
136
00:11:53,791 --> 00:11:56,790
♪ Of Thy righteousness ♪
137
00:11:58,375 --> 00:12:05,040
♪ Have mercy upon me ♪
138
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:14,040
♪ Blot out my transgressions ♪
139
00:12:15,666 --> 00:12:23,665
♪ O Lord, open Thou my lips ♪
140
00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:31,665
♪ And my mouth ♪
141
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:39,665
♪ Shall show forth Thy praise ♪
142
00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:44,290
♪ And my mouth ♪
143
00:12:44,291 --> 00:12:52,290
♪ Shall show forth Thy praise ♪
144
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:56,165
♪ And my mouth ♪
145
00:12:56,166 --> 00:13:04,124
♪ Shall show forth Thy praise ♪
146
00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:07,874
♪ And my mouth ♪
147
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:15,540
♪ Shall show forth Thy praise ♪
148
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:48,249
No, you don't eat it like that! Let me show you.
149
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:52,540
Oh. Imagine you are sucking
the little fingers of a lady or...
150
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:57,999
No, you'd never get that close to a lady.
Who'd wanna get that close to you?
151
00:13:58,291 --> 00:14:02,499
- I wouldn't be interested in her fingers.
- l'd expect you to say that.
152
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:07,040
You'd just whip it in, whip it out
and wipe it on your jacket.
153
00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:10,124
Look at your jacket, it's like a pig field.
154
00:14:10,125 --> 00:14:13,165
And your nails could do with a clean. Show me.
155
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:18,874
Gawd. Why can't l have some bloody quality
in my associates?
156
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:23,665
From now on, anyone not properly dressed
for dinner will pay for it.
157
00:14:23,666 --> 00:14:27,290
I'll write lessons down for you.
Georgina can type them out.
158
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:33,249
"Notes For Gourmets". That's French
for a good eater, isn't it, Boarst?
159
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:37,790
- Gourmets don't belch.
- On the contrary, on the contrary. They do.
160
00:14:37,791 --> 00:14:40,999
It shows that you are enjoying a meal.
161
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,165
Not with your fingers, Spangler!
That's all you understand...
162
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:48,874
things you eat with your hands
whilst walking down the street.
163
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:52,040
You told Mews to eat the celery with his fingers.
164
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:56,415
That's different, you dope.
And it's asparagus, not celery.
165
00:14:56,416 --> 00:15:02,165
What's the point of sinking thousands
into a restaurant if you refuse to eat properly?
166
00:15:02,541 --> 00:15:06,415
- Tell him, Georgina.
- Tell him what?
167
00:15:06,416 --> 00:15:10,999
Just copy Georgina. She knows how to do it.
Cory, get Richard in here.
168
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:15,999
l want my sign fixed up
and put on that wall over the kitchen door.
169
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:20,374
If Richard was more interested in slogans,
he'd make more money, eh?
170
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:23,915
This place is too dark.
171
00:15:23,916 --> 00:15:27,540
Could do with a respray. Gold, it needs more gold.
172
00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:30,165
How about gold and blue?
173
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:35,624
What do you think, Henry?
1 0,000 should do it - two months' takings.
174
00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:39,290
You should get in there.
Boarst's prices are all over the place.
175
00:15:40,291 --> 00:15:44,874
His head's in the clouds. Good cook. Brilliant cook!
176
00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:49,415
Except he puts mushrooms on everything.
Henry, put that cigarette out.
177
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:53,040
Do you mind if I eat whilst you smoke?
178
00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:57,540
Gordon choked on a cigarette whilst eating -
burnt his epiglottis.
179
00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:01,374
Mitchel, you've got one.
And you don't keep it in your trousers.
180
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:08,290
You don't put orange rind on the edge
of your plate, it goes there, you dolt!
181
00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:13,999
What you've got to realise is that
a clever cook puts unlikely things together
182
00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:18,040
like duck and orange, like pineapple and ham.
183
00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:20,165
lt's called artistry.
184
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:24,499
I'm an artist, the way l combine
my business and my pleasure.
185
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,999
Money's my business, eating's my pleasure.
186
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,165
And Georgie's my pleasure too,
though in a more private kind of way
187
00:16:31,416 --> 00:16:35,290
than stuffing the mouth and feeding the sewers.
188
00:16:35,291 --> 00:16:37,540
Though the pleasures are related,
189
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:42,999
because the naughty bits and the dirty bits
are so close together
190
00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:48,790
that it just goes to show
how eating and sex are related.
191
00:16:48,791 --> 00:16:52,915
Georgie's naughty bits
are nicely related, aren't they?
192
00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:55,915
Especially when she's
paying me attention. Georgie.
193
00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:02,999
Get Phillipe! In future, I want my napkins
folded at home, Georgina. Get Adele to teach you.
194
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:07,374
Spangler, get up and get Phillipe.
195
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:11,249
Bring Richard here,
l've got to make him a proposition.
196
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:15,374
Get Adele to get that water
with the angostura bitters in it
197
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:19,874
and some lemon in the water
and a bowl of ice water for me fingers...
198
00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:24,374
Henry! Give me those glasses off that table.
And the flowers.
199
00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:28,499
This should look the most important table here.
200
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:32,082
l like a load of glasses around, it highers the tone.
201
00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:51,624
- What's that?
- For Madame Spica, compliments of the house.
202
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:54,832
She's no Madame. Why haven't I got one?
203
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:58,749
- l doubt, Mr Spica, if you'll like it.
- Try me.
204
00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:04,374
We have grown accustomed
to you being a conservative eater.
205
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,874
That's not true. I'm as adventurous as the next.
206
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:11,124
Your wife has an excellent palate, Mr Spica.
207
00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:13,999
It is always a pleasure for us to serve her.
208
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:04,249
l want one of those hot, damp towels,
Richard, served to me with tongs.
209
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:10,374
Adele is no good with cash and figures.
She's just decorative, all lips and tits.
210
00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:13,749
- We'll replace her.
- Can l do the replacing?
211
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:19,499
Stuff your mouth, Mitchel. Every time you open it,
you just show how vulgar you can be.
212
00:20:54,375 --> 00:20:56,999
Georgina! Welcome back.
213
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,874
Did you wipe the seat
before you parked your bum?
214
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:05,707
You never know what you can catch these days.
Every toilet seat is a minefield.
215
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:12,124
That's for you. Richard thought l might like
to taste it, personal compliments of the chef.
216
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,749
Eat it. I didn't fancy it, it smelt off.
217
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:19,999
Iris got a canker on her bum
from sitting on a loo seat.
218
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,499
The mechanic across the road poured
battery acid down the WC to clear it.
219
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:31,249
Some of it splashed on the seat.
lris ran screaming into the street,
220
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,457
her backside hissing.
221
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,499
She hasn't been the same since.
222
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:40,624
She strips the same
but never with her back to the audience.
223
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:45,082
She had to change her act.
Now it's more full-frontal.
224
00:21:45,083 --> 00:21:48,374
- Where are you going?
- I left my lighter in the toilet.
225
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:51,249
- Gawd's sake. You don't need it.
- l need it.
226
00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:56,249
Richard, l'm going to ban smoking in here.
Tomorrow, the signs are going up.
227
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:59,999
You want to thicken your French accent
up a bit, mate,
228
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,374
like you've just come over from Paris.
229
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:06,999
Give them a bit of that ooh-la-la stuff.
Bit more of that "parlez-vous français?"
230
00:22:07,333 --> 00:22:10,457
Then you would not understand me, Mr Spica.
231
00:22:10,458 --> 00:22:14,499
I don't know. l've always been able
to understand French letters.
232
00:24:52,125 --> 00:24:54,124
Georgina!
233
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:56,582
What the hell are you doing in here?
234
00:24:57,875 --> 00:25:00,624
Georgina?
235
00:25:00,625 --> 00:25:04,957
You've been in here for ages.
What are you doing, having a baby?
236
00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,249
I'm, er, I'm just...
237
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,874
- l'm just having a quiet smoke.
- Smoke?
238
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,624
You know how you hate me smoking at the table.
239
00:25:17,625 --> 00:25:20,249
Gawd's sake, Georgina.
240
00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:23,082
Why tell me lies about a lost lighter?
241
00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:27,999
I didn't, I left it here
on the ledge in front of the mirror.
242
00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:32,624
l'll be out in a few moments.
243
00:25:32,625 --> 00:25:37,207
Don't hang around the ladies,
you'll embarrass the customers.
244
00:25:37,500 --> 00:25:39,624
Show me the lighter.
245
00:25:39,625 --> 00:25:41,999
There.
246
00:25:44,375 --> 00:25:46,707
Do you want a cigarette as well?
247
00:25:46,708 --> 00:25:49,207
Don't be so bloody stupid.
248
00:25:49,208 --> 00:25:53,249
What are you doing in there,
Georgina, eh?
249
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,749
You playing with yourself?
250
00:25:55,750 --> 00:26:00,249
That's not allowed, that's my property.
You're not allowed to fiddle with it.
251
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:05,624
- Shut up, Albert.
- Let me in, I'll show you how to wipe yourself.
252
00:26:06,958 --> 00:26:09,249
Go away. I'll be out in a minute.
253
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:12,499
WeIl, don't be long.
254
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:16,499
l'll order you some gâteau aux poivres.
255
00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:19,749
Some profiteroles.
256
00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:25,999
And wash your hands.
257
00:26:27,125 --> 00:26:29,999
You don't know the women who use this place.
258
00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:41,457
You took your time.
259
00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:44,999
I thought you'd like me to wait for you.
260
00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:49,207
You smell nice and sweaty.
261
00:27:49,208 --> 00:27:51,624
Wash your hands, l'lI give you a kiss.
262
00:28:06,750 --> 00:28:10,999
You know what they say about men
who hang around ladies' lavatories?
263
00:28:14,375 --> 00:28:18,374
What do they say about men
who hang around ladies' lavatories?
264
00:28:18,708 --> 00:28:22,999
- They're asking to have their illusions shattered.
- Yeah.
265
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,374
You hold no illusions for me, Georgie, eh?
266
00:28:26,375 --> 00:28:28,832
No stone's been left unturned.
267
00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:32,374
Look, just go order my profiteroles, will you?
268
00:28:32,375 --> 00:28:38,874
Come on.
269
00:29:22,625 --> 00:29:26,124
l think these Ethiopians like starving.
270
00:29:26,125 --> 00:29:32,374
lt keeps them slim and graceful, with those
big heads and dreamy eyes. You know those kids.
271
00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:37,124
- You're sick.
- l might well be if you're being so priggish.
272
00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:42,999
What do you know, Georgina, about
the starving? You can have anything you want.
273
00:29:43,333 --> 00:29:48,374
- Where you been? You're late.
- lt's Friday night. There's a lot of money about.
274
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,499
A decent man needs gloves to touch this stuff.
Let's have a look.
275
00:29:54,833 --> 00:29:57,832
That's just what this restaurant needs.
276
00:29:57,833 --> 00:30:00,374
Start laying them out.
277
00:30:00,625 --> 00:30:04,124
What's the matter, Mitchel?
Don't you like mussels?
278
00:30:04,125 --> 00:30:07,374
You got to learn to like them
if you're going to eat with me.
279
00:30:07,625 --> 00:30:10,249
Don't you dare throw up in here!
280
00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:13,874
Or I'll get Spangler to stuff 'em
back down your throat.
281
00:30:13,875 --> 00:30:19,582
From the Malay restaurant.
The food poisoning scared them, they're paying up.
282
00:30:19,875 --> 00:30:23,082
I'm sure they don't need our assistance with that.
283
00:30:23,083 --> 00:30:26,624
That stuff they eat,
they'd poison themselves with it.
284
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:30,749
Some of them Indians are well known
for drinking their own pee.
285
00:30:31,083 --> 00:30:34,874
The same water would go round and round.
286
00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:39,499
Of course, you're bound to lose some
through evaporation.
287
00:30:39,833 --> 00:30:44,249
Then you'd have to top it up.
Whose pee would you drink first?
288
00:30:44,250 --> 00:30:47,582
- Erm...
- Me, l'd have a ready supply, wouldn't l?
289
00:30:47,583 --> 00:30:51,332
Georgie and I have our little sessions when we...
290
00:30:51,333 --> 00:30:53,707
Good God, what have you got there?
291
00:30:53,708 --> 00:30:58,332
Even you are getting compliments
from the chef, are you?
292
00:30:58,333 --> 00:31:01,999
Being a guinea pig
for a Boarst experiment, are we?
293
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:08,332
Good God, looks like, er,
food for constipated French rabbits.
294
00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:13,249
Albert, why don't you order me some chianti?
You know l like chianti.
295
00:31:13,583 --> 00:31:16,249
ln the bottle with the wrapping around it.
296
00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:19,582
Then l can take it home and hang it on the wall.
297
00:31:19,583 --> 00:31:23,374
- Grace, haven't you got enough of them already?
- No.
298
00:31:23,625 --> 00:31:25,874
Where the hell are you going?
299
00:31:25,875 --> 00:31:29,332
- To the toilet.
- You haven't had anything to drink yet.
300
00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:33,749
She's got a bladder like a leaky marrow.
Don't be long!
301
00:31:33,750 --> 00:31:36,999
- You've upset her.
- Rubbish.
302
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:42,999
Don't be long! You're so talkative tonight,
we couldn't stand the silence without you.
303
00:31:44,583 --> 00:31:46,499
Wash your hands!
304
00:32:05,875 --> 00:32:08,582
- Questo, questo.
- Cazzo.
305
00:32:08,583 --> 00:32:11,499
Dove hai imparto a cucinare? É velenoso.
306
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:13,707
Vieni qua.
307
00:34:29,791 --> 00:34:31,749
That's off!
308
00:34:55,916 --> 00:34:58,040
Uh.
309
00:34:58,041 --> 00:35:02,040
- This custard's salty.
- It is sauce Hollandaise.
310
00:35:02,041 --> 00:35:04,165
Can I help you, Mr Spica?
311
00:35:04,166 --> 00:35:07,540
l've come about
those special complimentary dishes.
312
00:35:07,791 --> 00:35:11,415
In future, all the guests at my table
shall receive them.
313
00:35:11,666 --> 00:35:14,290
Why is my fish taking so long?
314
00:35:14,291 --> 00:35:17,499
You can carry it in yourself, if you like, Mr Spica.
315
00:35:19,166 --> 00:35:22,540
- What are you looking for?
- Nothing. You bring it.
316
00:35:22,791 --> 00:35:27,499
- You would not be looking for your wife?
- No, of course not.
317
00:35:27,791 --> 00:35:30,749
Mr Spica, l have something to show you.
318
00:35:43,916 --> 00:35:48,874
- What is this?
- New cutlery. Give your restaurant some style.
319
00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:53,540
l brought in 300 sets.
My men are just re-laying the tables.
320
00:35:56,541 --> 00:35:58,790
Not very good quality, Mr Spica.
321
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:04,540
You could use them at home, Mr Spica.
322
00:36:04,541 --> 00:36:07,165
All 300 of them.
323
00:36:44,041 --> 00:36:46,749
Where have you been? Wiping your bum?
324
00:36:46,750 --> 00:36:50,290
Did you use your left hand like I showed you?
325
00:36:50,291 --> 00:36:53,999
Where'd you get this stuff, Mews?
lt's rubbish, falling apart.
326
00:36:54,250 --> 00:36:58,874
Take 'em back. Get a 1 50% refund. God.
327
00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:04,999
What are you eating, Georgie? Not much.
328
00:37:05,291 --> 00:37:09,790
Ha! l see others here
get the same special attentions.
329
00:37:10,125 --> 00:37:15,040
What is it? Looks like
some sort of... watery salade.
330
00:37:15,375 --> 00:37:17,749
That's not up to much.
331
00:37:17,750 --> 00:37:20,915
Expensive, no doubt, but not fattening.
332
00:37:20,916 --> 00:37:24,415
You've got to keep your strength up,
you're looking peaky.
333
00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:27,415
Kidneys, liver, iron, that's what you need.
334
00:37:27,666 --> 00:37:33,540
Do you know a cow drinks
its own weight in water twice a week?
335
00:37:33,916 --> 00:37:38,415
For milk, you see,
because a cow's got great big tits.
336
00:37:38,750 --> 00:37:40,999
Just like you, eh, Georgie?
337
00:37:44,625 --> 00:37:48,499
You gentlemen will have to take it
for granted because
338
00:37:48,750 --> 00:37:52,124
for some reason best known to herself,
339
00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:54,415
she's left her bra off.
340
00:37:57,041 --> 00:37:59,665
Have you, Cory, ever tasted human milk?
341
00:38:00,666 --> 00:38:04,249
I mean recently. All them years ago don't count.
342
00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:09,040
You couldn't really appreciate
what you were enjoying then, could you?
343
00:38:09,291 --> 00:38:15,040
l bet human milk's a great delicacy
in some countries. It ought to be here.
344
00:38:16,166 --> 00:38:19,790
Do you know, Cory, who could supply us
with some human milk?
345
00:38:20,041 --> 00:38:24,124
Warm, straight from the receptacle,
so to speak?
346
00:38:24,416 --> 00:38:28,540
Don't joke! lt's a precious commodity,
not a joking matter!
347
00:38:28,541 --> 00:38:31,415
Georgie wouldn't joke about it, would you?
348
00:38:31,416 --> 00:38:33,540
Would you, Georgie?
349
00:38:33,541 --> 00:38:38,874
Ah. You're a credit to women. You could show
these young women a thing or two.
350
00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:42,915
You could teach these young men
a thing or two. Take Mitchel.
351
00:38:43,166 --> 00:38:46,665
On second thoughts, don't,
cos he's a crude little bugger.
352
00:38:46,916 --> 00:38:50,540
- Then how come you haven't got any kids?
- Kids?
353
00:38:52,625 --> 00:38:56,124
Who needs kids? Who wants kids?
354
00:38:57,791 --> 00:39:00,290
I want kids.
355
00:39:01,375 --> 00:39:05,249
We'll have kids one day, won't we, eh?
356
00:39:08,250 --> 00:39:11,415
When you're bloody old and grey, most like!
357
00:39:11,666 --> 00:39:15,165
Yeah. Your trouble is you don't eat properly.
358
00:39:16,291 --> 00:39:20,290
You should drink more water and eat more kidneys
359
00:39:20,541 --> 00:39:24,415
and then you might bloody well have
a bloody baby someday.
360
00:39:26,125 --> 00:39:28,915
Georgie doesn't like babies, do you?
361
00:39:28,916 --> 00:39:33,915
You know, sometimes, Georgie,
l think you behave like a bloke.
362
00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:36,374
What days are those, then, Albert?
363
00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:38,499
- What's it like?
- You what?
364
00:39:38,500 --> 00:39:43,040
Get away from this table, you mucky little wimp!
365
00:39:43,375 --> 00:39:48,165
Go and eat your vegetable soup in the kitchen,
you dirty little pervert!
366
00:39:48,500 --> 00:39:51,415
Go on, get on with your eating, eh?
367
00:39:51,666 --> 00:39:54,749
lt's only Mitchel making a fool of himself.
368
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,040
Now, stand in the corner.
Cory, make him a paper hat.
369
00:39:58,041 --> 00:40:01,290
Stand in the corner like a naughty little boy.
370
00:40:01,291 --> 00:40:04,749
Stand there. Take your knife and fork with you.
371
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:07,624
- Don't be stupid.
- Do you want to join him?
372
00:40:07,625 --> 00:40:14,290
Leave him alone. He's only copying you
like he always does. You behave, he'll behave.
373
00:40:14,666 --> 00:40:17,624
- I'm leaving.
- Yes, we are leaving.
374
00:40:17,625 --> 00:40:22,415
Gracie, here. Pay the bill and take a taxi.
375
00:40:23,541 --> 00:40:27,624
Yeah. Georgie and I might go for a little drive.
376
00:40:29,666 --> 00:40:32,624
lt's our wedding anniversary tomorrow.
377
00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:35,624
Might drive down to the sea,
378
00:40:35,625 --> 00:40:38,415
have some fun under the pier like we used to.
379
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,915
Oops. I am sorry.
380
00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:55,915
Still, this isn't a library, it's a restaurant.
381
00:40:55,916 --> 00:40:57,874
They got people for that.
382
00:41:01,416 --> 00:41:03,540
Richard.
383
00:41:03,541 --> 00:41:07,665
This needs cooking.
Grill it with some mashed peas.
384
00:41:18,541 --> 00:41:22,665
♪ Wash me thoroughly ♪
385
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,999
♪ From my iniquity ♪
386
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:32,165
♪ And cleanse me... ♪
387
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:35,624
What's a young lad like you doing
washing dishes?
388
00:41:35,625 --> 00:41:38,874
That's woman's work,
ain't you got what it takes? Hey!
389
00:41:38,875 --> 00:41:43,499
My God, armour plating.
You protect yourself, son, you need it.
390
00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:46,749
Innocence. That's what l had before l met Georgie.
391
00:41:46,750 --> 00:41:50,040
- That's just what they want.
- Albert. Come on, you're drunk.
392
00:41:50,291 --> 00:41:52,290
- Come on!
- Shall I sing for you?
393
00:41:52,541 --> 00:41:55,415
- What?
- Albert, come on, he's only a child.
394
00:41:55,666 --> 00:41:59,165
Sing for me, yes. Yes, you can sing for me.
395
00:41:59,416 --> 00:42:01,915
Get up there. You sing, yeah.
396
00:42:01,916 --> 00:42:06,499
l was a good singer when I was a little boy,
wasn't l, Georgie?
397
00:42:06,791 --> 00:42:09,665
Come on, now. You sing to me. Eh?
398
00:42:10,791 --> 00:42:12,874
Come on. Sing, damn you!
399
00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:18,915
♪ Wash me thoroughly ♪
400
00:42:18,916 --> 00:42:22,499
♪ From my iniquity ♪
401
00:42:22,750 --> 00:42:26,790
- ♪ And cleanse... ♪
- You can't keep it up, can you? No.
402
00:42:27,041 --> 00:42:29,415
I was a choirboy once.
403
00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:32,624
Yes. Women like choirboys.
404
00:42:32,625 --> 00:42:36,165
I was almost a choirboy when I met Georgie.
405
00:42:36,416 --> 00:42:39,290
But you spoilt all that, didn't you?
406
00:42:39,291 --> 00:42:43,540
Georgie was a very good education,
she could teach a young man anything.
407
00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:48,290
Come on, Georgie, show the young boy
what you showed me.
408
00:42:48,291 --> 00:42:51,165
- Albert.
- Go on, show the little boy...
409
00:42:51,166 --> 00:42:54,290
- Albert!
- You do what l tell you, will you?
410
00:42:55,541 --> 00:42:59,124
You come out in that car park with me,
both of you. Come on.
411
00:42:59,125 --> 00:43:02,040
Out in the car park. Come on.
412
00:43:06,541 --> 00:43:11,124
l'll give you the best education,
show you what a great teacher Georgie can be.
413
00:43:11,416 --> 00:43:13,665
Don't touch him!
414
00:43:13,666 --> 00:43:17,749
- Leave him alone.
- l'll show you what a great teacher...
415
00:43:18,041 --> 00:43:22,874
Oh, I see. So l'm not supposed to do that?
l'll give you an education.
416
00:43:23,166 --> 00:43:25,790
- Albert, please leave him alone.
- Oh, no.
417
00:43:25,791 --> 00:43:28,665
Stand there and don't you move.
418
00:43:28,666 --> 00:43:30,790
- Just leave him be.
- Watch this.
419
00:43:30,791 --> 00:43:35,290
- No. Wait till we get home, Albert.
- Georgie. Georgie, come here.
420
00:43:35,291 --> 00:43:39,915
Right. What's alI this?
You're not wearing any bloody knickers.
421
00:43:39,916 --> 00:43:43,290
You've been sitting in that restaurant
with no knickers on?
422
00:43:43,541 --> 00:43:47,790
With Cory and Mitchel and all those people?
What's this mean?
423
00:43:47,791 --> 00:43:50,290
Where are they? Give them to me at once.
424
00:43:50,291 --> 00:43:54,415
Go on. Look at this.
Get in that car, you dirty whore.
425
00:43:54,666 --> 00:43:58,540
Why don't you take everything off?
426
00:43:58,541 --> 00:44:02,874
Get in there. Go on! Get in that car!
427
00:44:03,166 --> 00:44:06,999
- Now you! You get in there as well.
- No!
428
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,624
- Go on. Get in there. Get in.
- No! Please!
429
00:44:11,541 --> 00:44:15,290
- No! No! No!
- Get in there! Get in.
430
00:44:15,291 --> 00:44:17,290
Aah! Ah!
431
00:44:21,916 --> 00:44:24,665
Right...
432
00:44:24,666 --> 00:44:26,790
No!
433
00:44:33,125 --> 00:44:37,374
♪ Wash me thoroughly ♪
434
00:44:37,375 --> 00:44:41,040
♪ From my iniquity ♪
435
00:44:42,416 --> 00:44:50,374
♪ And cleanse me from my sins ♪
436
00:44:52,541 --> 00:44:58,999
♪ Have mercy upon me... ♪
437
00:45:01,666 --> 00:45:03,749
I have two minutes.
438
00:45:28,750 --> 00:45:36,290
♪ Purge me with hyssop ♪
439
00:45:39,250 --> 00:45:41,290
♪ And l shall be ♪
440
00:45:42,625 --> 00:45:44,665
♪ Clean ♪
441
00:45:46,291 --> 00:45:53,540
♪ Wash me ♪
442
00:45:53,541 --> 00:46:00,915
♪ And l shall be whiter than snow ♪
443
00:46:03,125 --> 00:46:06,999
♪ Make me to hear ♪
444
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,624
♪ Thy joy and gladness ♪
445
00:46:16,041 --> 00:46:18,665
♪ That the bones ♪
446
00:46:18,666 --> 00:46:26,665
♪ That Thou hast broken may rejoice ♪
447
00:47:28,291 --> 00:47:31,415
Do you know, Mitchel, what prairie oysters are?
448
00:47:32,625 --> 00:47:34,540
Fish.
449
00:47:34,791 --> 00:47:39,040
So if someone feeds you a prairie oyster,
what would you be eating?
450
00:47:39,375 --> 00:47:43,540
Fish. Like from the lakes and that. They're the...
451
00:47:43,541 --> 00:47:45,915
The clams with the little pearls in.
452
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,540
Prairie oysters would be very precious
to their owners. No.
453
00:47:50,791 --> 00:47:52,915
No, look. Imagine...
454
00:47:52,916 --> 00:47:57,165
Just imagine that this is a prairie oyster.
455
00:47:57,166 --> 00:48:01,165
Now, go on. Eat that. Go on.
Put it in your mouth. Go on. Go on.
456
00:48:01,416 --> 00:48:03,999
Now, what's it taste like?
457
00:48:06,291 --> 00:48:08,624
- Wet bread.
- No.
458
00:48:08,625 --> 00:48:11,415
lt's all squishy with gritty bits in it.
459
00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:15,499
That's the sand.
460
00:48:17,541 --> 00:48:20,624
That's the sand. You're a comic.
461
00:48:20,625 --> 00:48:24,124
No, you mule. It's got a skin round it.
462
00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:29,749
- Do you spit the skin out?
- No.
463
00:48:29,750 --> 00:48:33,040
Pick it out of your teeth afterwards, chump it up.
464
00:48:33,041 --> 00:48:36,290
Now, swallow that, go on, swallow it. Swallow it.
465
00:48:36,291 --> 00:48:38,415
Go on, that's right.
466
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:42,499
Now, Mitchel, you have just eaten
a sheep's bollock.
467
00:48:48,250 --> 00:48:51,665
The next time I ask you to work for me, Mitchel,
468
00:48:51,666 --> 00:48:55,499
l'll be expecting you to chew
someone's bollocks off on demand.
469
00:48:57,416 --> 00:48:59,540
Oh, you're back.
470
00:48:59,541 --> 00:49:04,790
What do you find in that toilet that's so fascinating?
I'll go and have a pee and a look.
471
00:49:05,166 --> 00:49:09,999
What have they got since l was last in there?
Velvet seats, dirty pictures? Hah.
472
00:49:10,291 --> 00:49:13,749
Free perfume? A private drinks bar?
473
00:49:44,750 --> 00:49:47,624
Cor, what a disgusting smell in here!
474
00:49:47,625 --> 00:49:51,249
Must be the pigs using it, eh? How disgusting it is.
475
00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:55,749
Ha! Urgh, how horrible. Disgusting.
476
00:49:55,750 --> 00:49:59,124
Revolting place, needs airing out. What's this?
477
00:49:59,125 --> 00:50:01,415
Gaw, phwoar, phwoar...
478
00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:07,415
Look. "There was a young man from Uckinham
who got caught while he was..."
479
00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:12,165
That is disgusting!
People ought to be locked up for that.
480
00:50:12,166 --> 00:50:15,415
Absolutely appalling. Not what l'm used to at all.
481
00:50:15,416 --> 00:50:19,124
It's disgraceful. Don't you reckon, don't you think?
482
00:50:19,125 --> 00:50:21,415
Yes. God.
483
00:50:21,416 --> 00:50:24,665
- 'Ere, what are you looking at?
- What are you talking about?
484
00:50:24,666 --> 00:50:29,165
Don't pretend. You're waiting
for my young associates, aren't you?
485
00:50:29,166 --> 00:50:32,540
A man ought to be able to piss
without harassment.
486
00:50:32,541 --> 00:50:35,665
- How dare you? I'm getting the manager.
- l am the manager.
487
00:50:35,666 --> 00:50:39,665
And you are out on the street.
Caught loitering in a toilet.
488
00:50:39,916 --> 00:50:42,499
- Ow!
- Yeah.
489
00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:47,540
That's what these people need.
Short, sharp, shock treatment.
490
00:50:55,166 --> 00:50:57,540
Hello. What are you doing? Reading again?
491
00:50:57,541 --> 00:51:02,540
This is not a library. The only thing
you're allowed to read in here is the menu.
492
00:51:02,791 --> 00:51:05,415
You are insulting the chef.
493
00:51:05,416 --> 00:51:08,790
Reading gives you indigestion,
didn't you know that?
494
00:51:08,791 --> 00:51:11,040
Don't read at the table.
495
00:51:13,500 --> 00:51:17,415
l've just been reading stuff to make your hair curl.
496
00:51:17,416 --> 00:51:19,790
Out there, in the toilet.
497
00:51:19,791 --> 00:51:23,040
That's the sort of stuff people read, not this.
498
00:51:23,041 --> 00:51:25,624
Don't you feel out of touch?
499
00:51:25,625 --> 00:51:28,165
Does this stuff make money?
500
00:51:28,166 --> 00:51:32,790
You know, l bet you're
the only man who's read this book.
501
00:51:32,791 --> 00:51:36,540
But I bet you every man here
has read that stuff out there.
502
00:51:36,541 --> 00:51:39,249
lt makes you think, doesn't it?
503
00:51:39,250 --> 00:51:43,665
You know, I reckon you read
because you got nobody to talk to.
504
00:51:43,666 --> 00:51:48,124
l tell you what. So you shouldn't eat alone,
why don't you come and join us?
505
00:51:48,375 --> 00:51:50,665
Come and meet my wife.
506
00:51:50,666 --> 00:51:56,040
She's seen you.
I know she's sorry for you sitting here all alone.
507
00:51:56,375 --> 00:52:01,290
She likes to read too.
She spends hours sitting on the bed reading.
508
00:52:01,625 --> 00:52:04,124
She even reads on the john.
509
00:52:11,416 --> 00:52:13,624
This is Cory.
510
00:52:15,666 --> 00:52:20,249
This is Mitchel. He can't read, can you, Mitchel?
511
00:52:20,250 --> 00:52:23,290
- Yes, l can.
- Yeah. Comics and dirty magazines.
512
00:52:24,291 --> 00:52:27,999
And this is Georgina. She is my wife.
513
00:52:29,750 --> 00:52:31,790
What's your name?
514
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:37,540
- Michael.
- Well, Michael. Is that a Jewish name, Michael?
515
00:52:37,791 --> 00:52:43,040
Do you eat kosher food, Michael? Sit down,
Michael, and tell us all about kosher food, Michael.
516
00:52:43,375 --> 00:52:46,499
- I'm sorry but l'm not Jewish.
- Why hide it?
517
00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:50,874
60% of the people in this restaurant
are a touch Jewish, Michael.
518
00:52:51,166 --> 00:52:53,499
Richard, set another place for Michael.
519
00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:58,499
He is Jewish, so maybe you could find him
some spare ribs. No pork.
520
00:52:59,916 --> 00:53:05,165
He won't need those.
We're going to hold a conversation, aren't we?
521
00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:09,165
You can start, Georgie.
Tell Michael all about yourself.
522
00:53:10,291 --> 00:53:14,499
- l'm sure your wife would rather eat in peace.
- No. Talk, Georgina.
523
00:53:14,750 --> 00:53:18,540
Here's your chance
to improve your table conversation.
524
00:53:18,541 --> 00:53:20,790
Tell Michael you live in a big house
525
00:53:20,791 --> 00:53:23,665
and you spend £400 a week on clothes.
526
00:53:23,666 --> 00:53:25,790
l spend £400 a week on clothes.
527
00:53:25,791 --> 00:53:29,249
You have a petrol allowance of £40 a week.
528
00:53:29,250 --> 00:53:33,165
l have a petrol allowance of £40 a week,
which l never use.
529
00:53:33,166 --> 00:53:36,040
- You wear beautiful things.
- l wear beautiful things.
530
00:53:36,041 --> 00:53:39,499
- You eat in the best restaurants.
- I eat in the best restaurants.
531
00:53:39,500 --> 00:53:42,165
Georgina, try a little harder, please.
532
00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:47,999
- l go to a good hairdresser.
- Yes, the best there is.
533
00:53:48,250 --> 00:53:52,415
- l go to a good dentist.
- Yes, yeah, oh, yeah. He's Jewish.
534
00:53:52,416 --> 00:53:55,790
- I go to a good gynaecologist.
- You what?
535
00:53:55,791 --> 00:54:00,540
- Who says it's unlikely I'll ever have a baby.
- Michael doesn't want to know that.
536
00:54:00,791 --> 00:54:04,415
That the three miscarriages
have ruined my insides.
537
00:54:04,416 --> 00:54:08,040
That isn't true, Michael doesn't need to know that.
538
00:54:08,041 --> 00:54:11,999
Now, drink up, Michael, let's talk about you.
What do you do?
539
00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:16,790
I'm a gynaecologist.
540
00:54:18,291 --> 00:54:21,624
- You're a what?
- You could always come and see me.
541
00:54:21,625 --> 00:54:24,040
We don't need to discuss that subject.
542
00:54:24,291 --> 00:54:28,165
Being infertile makes me a safe bet
for a good screw.
543
00:54:28,166 --> 00:54:30,249
Shut up, Georgie!
544
00:54:33,791 --> 00:54:36,374
l must apologise for my wife, Michael.
545
00:54:37,791 --> 00:54:42,165
If you don't get back to your table,
you're in danger of losing it.
546
00:54:42,166 --> 00:54:44,290
The place gets very full about now.
547
00:54:44,291 --> 00:54:48,665
Mitchel, take Michael back to his table.
Tell him about horses.
548
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,540
Oh, it's all right, Mr Spica, thank you.
549
00:54:52,750 --> 00:54:54,999
I prefer to read my book.
550
00:54:55,916 --> 00:54:58,374
Besides, I've finished. Thank you.
551
00:54:59,916 --> 00:55:03,415
Thank you for introducing me to your wife.
552
00:55:03,416 --> 00:55:06,290
l like your name.
553
00:55:54,500 --> 00:55:56,415
Ah.
554
00:56:00,041 --> 00:56:03,790
What the hell do you think you're doing? Eh?
555
00:56:04,041 --> 00:56:09,999
Telling a complete stranger
intimate details about us?
556
00:56:10,291 --> 00:56:13,040
It's not about us. It's about me.
557
00:56:13,041 --> 00:56:15,665
lt's about us!
558
00:56:15,666 --> 00:56:19,290
And what's all this,
how much time you spend in that loo?
559
00:56:19,291 --> 00:56:22,499
What's all this about a gynaecologist? Who is he?
560
00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:27,624
lt'd better be a she.
l don't want some bloke fingering my wife about.
561
00:56:27,916 --> 00:56:31,249
lt's a man. He's Jewish.
562
00:56:31,250 --> 00:56:35,749
- And he's from Ethiopia.
- What?
563
00:56:35,750 --> 00:56:39,790
His mother is a Roman Catholic,
he's been in prison in South Africa,
564
00:56:39,791 --> 00:56:43,915
he's as black as the ace of spades
and probably drinks his own pee.
565
00:56:43,916 --> 00:56:46,290
- Take that, you bitch!
- Oh!
566
00:56:46,291 --> 00:56:49,915
You lying, ungrateful bitch! You get in that car.
567
00:56:50,166 --> 00:56:52,790
It's the doghouse for you, you bitch.
568
00:56:52,791 --> 00:56:57,540
Bloody gynaecologist. Blasted gynaecologist.
569
00:57:00,541 --> 00:57:02,624
Get up. Get up.
570
00:57:05,041 --> 00:57:07,915
Get in the car, you slag.
571
00:57:09,416 --> 00:57:11,499
Get in there. Go on.
572
00:57:14,666 --> 00:57:16,624
Yeah.
573
00:57:42,541 --> 00:57:44,665
Maiser came here.
574
00:57:44,666 --> 00:57:49,290
And Trelawny with his black lady friends
who wore peaches in their hair.
575
00:57:49,625 --> 00:57:51,915
- Peaches?
- Imitation.
576
00:57:51,916 --> 00:57:56,374
And the Austrian brothers sat by the door -
high-wire professionals.
577
00:57:56,666 --> 00:57:59,124
Great balancers, sloppy with money.
578
00:57:59,125 --> 00:58:06,040
And Tim Tranter drank soup here
out of a cup with a straw when his jaw was broken.
579
00:58:06,416 --> 00:58:11,415
There used to be a mark up there
where Goshy Capps threw a plate of kippers.
580
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:14,415
- Kippers?
- Yes, kippers, for God's sake.
581
00:58:14,416 --> 00:58:16,915
You wouldn't find kippers here.
582
00:58:16,916 --> 00:58:20,749
- They serve kippers for breakfast here.
- You've had breakfast here?
583
00:58:21,041 --> 00:58:23,915
The ferryman and his lady ate here every morning.
584
00:58:24,166 --> 00:58:28,290
The ferryman was a poofter.
And fish disagreed with him.
585
00:58:28,625 --> 00:58:32,790
- Who are all these people?
- Small-time crooks and pimps...
586
00:58:33,041 --> 00:58:36,165
Boarst painted it out.
l'll get him to paint it back again.
587
00:58:36,416 --> 00:58:40,290
...gigolos, busted boxers, cheap whores...
588
00:58:40,291 --> 00:58:42,665
l've got the clippings at home.
589
00:58:42,666 --> 00:58:45,915
...bullies, hairdressers, faggots.
590
00:58:45,916 --> 00:58:48,540
- Robin Hoods.
- No, just hoods.
591
00:58:48,541 --> 00:58:53,624
- You're getting very smart.
- Smart? Even his slang's out of date.
592
00:58:53,916 --> 00:58:57,540
Now I'm the clientèle,
you understand? Me.
593
00:58:57,541 --> 00:59:01,624
And Georgie here and Cory Peterson.
The coq au vin is good.
594
00:59:01,625 --> 00:59:05,540
- Cock a what?
- Chicken cooked in wine, you mule.
595
00:59:05,875 --> 00:59:10,124
- Bess Riddle lived on coq au vin.
- More of the coq than the vin.
596
00:59:10,416 --> 00:59:14,249
Starkie, there are ladies present.
597
00:59:14,250 --> 00:59:17,999
- Or there were. Where's she gone?
- Gracie's no lady, are you?
598
00:59:18,250 --> 00:59:21,665
- She must have a bladder infection.
- She's one of us.
599
00:59:21,666 --> 00:59:25,540
There's nothing wrong
except she disappears to the john.
600
00:59:25,541 --> 00:59:28,874
And which of the bladder infections
do you have, Starkie?
601
00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:31,499
Ladies go to the toilet, not the john.
602
00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:35,749
Real ladies don't go to the toilet,
they go to the bathroom.
603
00:59:36,666 --> 00:59:40,540
- Boarst hasn't got a bathroom.
- Shut your mouth.
604
00:59:40,541 --> 00:59:44,749
You'd pee in your pants
before you'd recognise a respectable WC.
605
00:59:53,416 --> 00:59:56,374
So, he's broken the silence for us
606
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,040
and your name is Georgina.
607
01:00:02,416 --> 01:00:06,999
Yes. And don't ever call me Georgie.
608
01:00:09,166 --> 01:00:11,665
You have beautiful eyes, Georgina.
609
01:00:16,166 --> 01:00:20,165
And you have a beautiful prick, Mr Gynaecologist.
610
01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:25,749
- l have?
- Yes, whatever its racist beliefs.
611
01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:33,040
- Your husband is a curiosity.
- He is?
612
01:00:38,291 --> 01:00:40,790
Why?
613
01:00:40,791 --> 01:00:42,874
Why what?
614
01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:47,624
Why am l married to him?
615
01:00:50,416 --> 01:00:52,540
Why aren't you married?
616
01:00:52,541 --> 01:00:55,040
- How do you know I'm not?
- You're not.
617
01:00:57,916 --> 01:01:00,040
- l'm not.
- Why?
618
01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:10,540
I once saw a film in which the main character
didn't speak for the first half an hour.
619
01:01:10,541 --> 01:01:15,540
Like us? Do all the minutes we've been together
add up to half an hour?
620
01:01:18,541 --> 01:01:23,915
l was completely absorbed as to what would
happen because anything was possible.
621
01:01:25,666 --> 01:01:28,415
And then?
622
01:01:28,416 --> 01:01:31,499
He spoilt it - he spoke.
623
01:01:33,375 --> 01:01:36,915
- And?
- Within five minutes, I'd lost interest.
624
01:01:38,791 --> 01:01:43,249
So now you've opened your mouth,
do you expect me to lose interest?
625
01:01:45,041 --> 01:01:47,165
lt was only a film.
626
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:55,165
Erm, now, we've been talking for one minute.
627
01:01:56,541 --> 01:02:00,165
We've got four minutes left
before you lose interest.
628
01:02:00,166 --> 01:02:02,540
Four minutes. That's enough.
629
01:02:02,791 --> 01:02:05,040
Where's the bomb?
630
01:02:05,041 --> 01:02:12,165
He's, er... He's eating
avocado vinaigrette and prawns.
631
01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:15,790
With his fingers.
632
01:02:17,666 --> 01:02:19,665
Kiss me.
633
01:02:24,166 --> 01:02:29,290
- Your restaurant's noisy, Spica.
- lt's popular on a Sunday night.
634
01:02:29,291 --> 01:02:32,249
I like a quiet restaurant, with floor shows.
635
01:02:32,250 --> 01:02:36,165
Boarst is a culinary artist, not a fancy entertainer.
636
01:02:36,166 --> 01:02:39,915
But we're here to please you, Terry.
We'll get you a floor show.
637
01:02:39,916 --> 01:02:43,915
Cory, phone Santini. Five girls - strippers.
638
01:02:44,250 --> 01:02:47,290
Make it decent, will you? My daughter's present.
639
01:02:47,291 --> 01:02:51,415
Five dancing girls with music.
Strictly no filth, only class.
640
01:02:51,416 --> 01:02:54,624
And make it quiet.
l want to keep my ears till I'm 90.
641
01:02:54,625 --> 01:02:58,999
God, Terry, what sort of floor show
do you like? Mute nuns?
642
01:02:59,291 --> 01:03:03,290
If they call me Mr Fitch, I might.
l'm only Terry to my wife, Spica.
643
01:03:03,541 --> 01:03:06,915
- Like me.
- You're Terry and all, are you?
644
01:03:06,916 --> 01:03:10,790
- l'm only Albert to Georgina.
- Even when she's in the loo?
645
01:03:10,791 --> 01:03:14,415
- Shut your whore up, Cory!
- God, you're noisy, Spica.
646
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:18,415
Makes for indigestion.
Don't you find, love? What's your name?
647
01:03:18,416 --> 01:03:19,915
Patricia, Mr Fitch.
648
01:03:19,916 --> 01:03:23,790
Are you a good dancer?
You look as if you might be a good dancer.
649
01:03:24,041 --> 01:03:27,915
We'd like to see you get up and dance, with Geoff.
650
01:03:28,166 --> 01:03:30,499
Geoff's a very good dancer.
651
01:03:30,500 --> 01:03:34,040
- There's no dancing allowed.
- I always eat at home.
652
01:03:34,291 --> 01:03:36,874
- Best place.
- No food poisoning.
653
01:03:36,875 --> 01:03:41,665
Ricky Boarst is as safe as houses.
He keeps a very clean kitchen, go and see.
654
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,249
I'd like to see.
655
01:03:44,250 --> 01:03:49,499
- Mitchel, take the lady to see the kitchen.
- l'll take her myself, Spica.
656
01:03:52,791 --> 01:03:56,040
- Show me the way.
- Through that door.
657
01:03:56,041 --> 01:04:00,040
I'll call in the bathroom
and send Georgie back tout de suite.
658
01:04:00,291 --> 01:04:02,540
That means immediately.
659
01:04:02,541 --> 01:04:06,999
- Your new girlfriend's cheap, Cory.
- She's only practicing her French.
660
01:04:07,291 --> 01:04:09,540
It's a French restaurant, isn't it?
661
01:04:33,541 --> 01:04:36,124
Someone's having pheasant for dinner.
662
01:04:41,666 --> 01:04:44,790
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
663
01:04:45,916 --> 01:04:49,874
We could be interrupted, um... 700 times.
664
01:04:51,791 --> 01:04:57,499
- What's your boyfriend paying you, Patricia?
- Paying me? He doesn't pay me.
665
01:04:57,791 --> 01:05:00,790
He buys me meals and drinks.
666
01:05:00,791 --> 01:05:03,915
- Doesn't he give you no pocket money?
- No.
667
01:05:03,916 --> 01:05:07,749
Nothing for a tuna fish sandwich
late at night or a bottle of gin
668
01:05:07,750 --> 01:05:11,124
- to make you forget what you had for lunch?
- No.
669
01:05:11,125 --> 01:05:14,374
Phew, it stinks here.
670
01:05:16,875 --> 01:05:20,499
Listen, how about if...
671
01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:22,540
if I gave you some pocket money?
672
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:25,915
What do I have to do to earn it?
673
01:05:47,541 --> 01:05:50,165
OK, here they are. Where's Fitch?
674
01:05:51,166 --> 01:05:53,790
Phillipe, clear those tables. We need more space.
675
01:05:54,041 --> 01:05:57,249
- But Mr Spica, they are eating.
- Move them.
676
01:05:57,250 --> 01:06:01,499
You are in the way of the floor show.
You're gonna have to move.
677
01:06:01,500 --> 01:06:03,665
We're in the middle of our meal.
678
01:06:03,666 --> 01:06:08,165
If you're going to eat quite quickly,
you can finish your soup.
679
01:06:09,166 --> 01:06:12,665
After all, you don't want
to get trampled on, do you?
680
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,165
Hold him. Hold him.
681
01:06:19,666 --> 01:06:22,374
lt's a pity you didn't take my advice.
682
01:06:22,375 --> 01:06:25,915
All that lovely food. Richard will be disappointed.
683
01:06:25,916 --> 01:06:31,624
Now, you're gonna have to eat in the kitchen
like naughty little children, eh?
684
01:06:31,916 --> 01:06:34,499
Hey, what is your name?
685
01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:38,249
What did you say? Did l hear you say William?
686
01:06:38,250 --> 01:06:42,249
Well, naughty little Willie, tiny little Willie,
687
01:06:42,250 --> 01:06:45,499
how would you like
to be spanked on your big, fat bottom?
688
01:06:54,166 --> 01:06:59,165
Seeing as you're so keen
on Richard's mushrooms, William,
689
01:06:59,166 --> 01:07:04,124
you, l'm gonna give you five, the count of five
690
01:07:04,416 --> 01:07:08,374
and I want to see you on the way to the kitchen
691
01:07:08,375 --> 01:07:10,540
or you'll be out in the street!
692
01:07:10,541 --> 01:07:12,499
Get out.
693
01:07:27,291 --> 01:07:31,790
♪ l am waiting, I am waiting ♪
694
01:07:32,916 --> 01:07:37,124
♪ Come up with something sometime now ♪
695
01:07:38,416 --> 01:07:43,415
♪ We're only here for love... ♪
696
01:07:43,416 --> 01:07:47,040
- Oh, look at the time. I must go back.
- One minute more.
697
01:07:47,041 --> 01:07:49,665
- No.
- 30 seconds.
698
01:08:02,250 --> 01:08:04,915
Oh! Oh!
699
01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:08,749
Oh. What the hell are you doing?
700
01:08:08,750 --> 01:08:11,790
l bought meself a ride. Why don't you keep still?
701
01:08:12,041 --> 01:08:14,290
Sorry, l had a surprise.
702
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:19,874
What bloody surprises
could there be possibly left for you?
703
01:08:19,875 --> 01:08:21,957
I give up, you bitch.
704
01:08:23,208 --> 01:08:25,499
l'm sick ofjumpy whores.
705
01:08:26,583 --> 01:08:31,749
You're only worth a Fitch one star -
that ain't for looks, that's for availability.
706
01:08:31,750 --> 01:08:37,207
♪ l am waiting ♪
707
01:08:38,250 --> 01:08:42,332
♪ Come up with something sometime now ♪
708
01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:47,499
♪ We're only here for love ♪
709
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:51,332
♪ Outside the reach of money ♪
710
01:08:51,333 --> 01:08:53,832
♪ Beyond the reach of fame ♪
711
01:08:53,833 --> 01:08:58,499
♪ We're not for buying or lending out... ♪
712
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:01,374
Look who's just come out of the woodwork.
713
01:09:06,833 --> 01:09:09,374
♪ Be quick and be tight ♪
714
01:09:09,375 --> 01:09:12,124
♪ And be it not and be right ♪
715
01:09:12,125 --> 01:09:14,749
♪ Then be slow and... ♪
716
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:20,374
- What've you been doing?
- I've just been earning you good money.
717
01:09:20,750 --> 01:09:24,374
And I've just seen
how we can earn ourselves some more.
718
01:09:26,375 --> 01:09:28,707
♪ Then go ♪
719
01:09:38,333 --> 01:09:43,999
We have complaints of offensive smells
from two vans on the restaurant premises.
720
01:09:44,375 --> 01:09:47,374
The restaurant denies any responsibility. Over.
721
01:09:50,375 --> 01:09:52,499
Why can't we meet somewhere else?
722
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:57,124
That's impossible.
lt's better to do it under his nose.
723
01:09:57,125 --> 01:10:00,957
He'll never believe I do it right under his nose
724
01:10:02,875 --> 01:10:05,457
between courses,
725
01:10:05,458 --> 01:10:08,499
between the hors d'oeuvres
and the canard à I'orange,
726
01:10:08,500 --> 01:10:10,457
between the dessert and the coffee.
727
01:10:11,875 --> 01:10:14,207
Besides,
728
01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:17,457
l'm learning fast
729
01:10:18,750 --> 01:10:20,749
how to cut corners, save time.
730
01:10:22,958 --> 01:10:26,374
I'm getting good at it, aren't l, Michael? Aren't l?
731
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,124
Aren't I getting good at it? Aren't l?
732
01:10:31,125 --> 01:10:33,624
Aren't l getting good at it? Mm.
733
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:37,707
Aren't l getting good at it? Oh.
734
01:10:44,083 --> 01:10:47,749
Last night was bloody awful
and you're to blame, Cory.
735
01:10:47,750 --> 01:10:51,749
- Tonight you'll starve.
- l don't like the foreign muck anyway.
736
01:10:51,750 --> 01:10:56,624
Don't talk to me like that, you uneducated prat!
You couldn't organise a rape in a brothel!
737
01:10:57,833 --> 01:11:02,832
The girls were lousy, the music was lousy,
you mucked the whole thing up.
738
01:11:03,125 --> 01:11:06,499
Couldn't keep your own girl
under control at all. Tch!
739
01:11:06,500 --> 01:11:09,374
- First she shows off...
- I didn't.
740
01:11:09,375 --> 01:11:11,999
Shut your face, who's talking to you?
741
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:14,374
Then she goes and plays hard to get.
742
01:11:14,375 --> 01:11:18,707
I mean, if she's been with you, Cory,
how the hell can she be hard to get?
743
01:11:22,583 --> 01:11:26,249
Spangler, get us a drink, quickly.
Then she upsets Fitch in some way.
744
01:11:26,500 --> 01:11:29,499
- Fitch is a pig.
- Fitch has got manners.
745
01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:32,749
He was like a bear with a sore head.
Did you piss in his pants?
746
01:11:32,750 --> 01:11:36,582
Then she's giggling like a virgin
playing with a candle.
747
01:11:36,833 --> 01:11:41,624
You'll have to make it up to him.
He likes you, though you look like a bloke.
748
01:11:41,875 --> 01:11:45,749
- Perhaps he likes blokes.
- None of that homosexual talk.
749
01:11:45,750 --> 01:11:49,124
He'lI remember.
Yesterday evening's got my name on it.
750
01:11:49,125 --> 01:11:53,332
I'm not going with him.
He sweats and stinks and he can't make it.
751
01:11:53,583 --> 01:11:56,124
- Shut your whore up, Cory.
- Like Georgie?
752
01:11:56,125 --> 01:11:59,582
- Shut up!
- She's a fine woman. She's never let me down.
753
01:11:59,583 --> 01:12:02,207
- You must be joking.
- Shut up, Pat!
754
01:12:02,208 --> 01:12:05,082
- She's upset.
- What do you mean, I must be joking?
755
01:12:05,083 --> 01:12:08,082
- Here. Get rid of her.
- Don't do that to a woman.
756
01:12:08,083 --> 01:12:11,374
- l do what l like to a woman.
- That's your trouble.
757
01:12:11,375 --> 01:12:15,624
No wonder Georgie looks like she does
and hates your guts.
758
01:12:15,625 --> 01:12:18,999
- What are you talking about?
- No wonder she screws around.
759
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:22,749
- You what?
- You're so bloody blind, you'd never notice.
760
01:12:22,750 --> 01:12:25,707
- Shut up! She's raving.
- l'm not. I saw them.
761
01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:27,832
- Who?
- Georgie and that Jew.
762
01:12:27,833 --> 01:12:31,707
- What Jew?
- That bloke who sits over there, reading.
763
01:12:31,708 --> 01:12:35,749
Haven't you noticed?
They always go off to the john together.
764
01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:40,249
- You what?
- Why do you think Georgie's always in the john?
765
01:12:40,583 --> 01:12:44,332
You blind bat.
She doesn't have the shits every five minutes.
766
01:12:45,375 --> 01:12:47,332
Shit!
767
01:12:52,750 --> 01:12:56,874
Shh. lt's all right. lt's all right. Shh. Quiet.
768
01:12:57,208 --> 01:12:59,124
Shh. Shh.
769
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,999
Shh.
770
01:13:26,083 --> 01:13:28,124
l'm going to the loo.
771
01:13:37,458 --> 01:13:43,499
Georgina!
772
01:13:44,500 --> 01:13:47,749
Georgina, where are you, you bitch? Georgina!
773
01:13:48,375 --> 01:13:52,582
- What are you doing? Get out!
- Get out, you bitch. Georgina!
774
01:13:52,583 --> 01:13:54,707
Where are you? Get out!
775
01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:56,874
Go on, get out!
776
01:13:56,875 --> 01:13:59,207
Where are you?
777
01:13:59,208 --> 01:14:03,124
- No, please!
- Get out of here! Get out, you...
778
01:14:03,125 --> 01:14:07,082
Please, no! Please, no!
779
01:14:07,375 --> 01:14:09,957
- Go on! Georgie!
- Please, no.
780
01:14:10,500 --> 01:14:12,499
Where are you, Georgie?
781
01:14:26,708 --> 01:14:31,249
It's over. He has found out.
782
01:14:31,250 --> 01:14:35,082
Georgina? Georgina!
783
01:14:35,083 --> 01:14:37,499
Georgina!
784
01:14:37,500 --> 01:14:40,457
Georgie! You get out.
785
01:14:42,375 --> 01:14:45,374
l'll get him to leave.
786
01:14:45,375 --> 01:14:49,124
- Richard, don't get into trouble over me.
- Georgie!
787
01:14:51,583 --> 01:14:55,124
- Let's go and face him.
- Don't be mad. He'll kill you!
788
01:14:55,125 --> 01:14:57,332
Come quickly. Come with me.
789
01:15:02,333 --> 01:15:06,624
- Wait here five minutes.
- We'll freeze to death.
790
01:15:06,625 --> 01:15:11,124
He will never look in here.
Only five minutes. l will get your clothes.
791
01:15:11,125 --> 01:15:14,332
Georgie, where are you?
792
01:15:16,708 --> 01:15:20,749
Georgina! Georgie, where are you?
793
01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:22,832
Georgie. Georgie.
794
01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:27,124
You! Where is she? Where's my wife?
795
01:15:27,125 --> 01:15:30,582
- What's the matter?
- You know. Fetching her cigarettes.
796
01:15:30,583 --> 01:15:33,624
- Where's my wife?
- Your wife is your affair.
797
01:15:33,625 --> 01:15:36,457
This is not a lost property office.
798
01:15:36,458 --> 01:15:38,999
I want my wife! Where is she?
799
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:42,957
You! You stupid little rat.
Where's my wife? Where is she?
800
01:15:42,958 --> 01:15:47,374
lf you have finished,
l'll ask you to leave the kitchen.
801
01:15:47,375 --> 01:15:51,582
- I have other diners to consider.
- Oh! Uh!
802
01:15:51,583 --> 01:15:55,499
l'm the only diner who matters here.
I own this restaurant.
803
01:15:55,500 --> 01:15:58,582
l want my wife. You've hidden her. Where is she?
804
01:15:59,708 --> 01:16:02,124
God keep me calm! Where are they?
805
01:16:02,125 --> 01:16:05,124
Georgina! Georgina!
806
01:16:05,750 --> 01:16:09,082
- Georgina! Georgina!
- Ahh!
807
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,999
Georgina! Where is she, Boarst?
808
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:20,499
Boarst, where is she? Georgie! Georgie!
809
01:16:21,875 --> 01:16:24,374
Georgie, you bitch!
810
01:16:25,750 --> 01:16:28,124
Hard around.
811
01:16:32,125 --> 01:16:35,332
Georgie! l want my wife!
812
01:16:44,625 --> 01:16:46,582
Georgie!
813
01:16:49,958 --> 01:16:54,707
l'll bloody find her.
814
01:16:54,708 --> 01:16:59,707
l'll find them. I'll bloody find them.
l knew it. Scheming tart!
815
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:02,874
l'll bloody find them and l'll bloody kill him!
816
01:17:02,875 --> 01:17:04,999
And I'll bloody eat him!
817
01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:07,624
I'll kill him and I'll eat him!
818
01:17:08,375 --> 01:17:12,624
- l'll kill him and then I'll eat him.
- Oh, shit!
819
01:17:12,625 --> 01:17:19,332
I'll eat him!
820
01:17:19,333 --> 01:17:24,374
We can get you out.
Eden can drive you. Where do you want to go?
821
01:17:24,375 --> 01:17:26,707
l know a place.
822
01:17:26,708 --> 01:17:30,249
- What about our clothes?
- I'll get them to you. Quickly.
823
01:17:31,500 --> 01:17:33,499
Quickly. Quick.
824
01:17:52,333 --> 01:17:54,999
No. No. No, no.
825
01:17:55,250 --> 01:17:58,207
No, please. Aah! No.
826
01:19:39,500 --> 01:19:41,957
What is this place?
827
01:19:41,958 --> 01:19:44,999
lt's a book depository.
828
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:48,874
When my bookshop is quiet,
I do a stocktaking job.
829
01:19:50,500 --> 01:19:53,499
I'm cataloguing French history.
830
01:19:57,250 --> 01:20:00,124
There's a kitchen and a bathroom.
831
01:20:00,125 --> 01:20:04,124
It's a bit primitive but there's an extraordinary view.
832
01:20:04,375 --> 01:20:06,832
Have you read all these books?
833
01:20:06,833 --> 01:20:08,999
No.
834
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:14,582
It's not necessary
for the book-keeper to read all the stock.
835
01:20:14,875 --> 01:20:17,957
With a job like this, you could be very boring.
836
01:20:20,500 --> 01:20:22,624
Are we safe here?
837
01:20:25,250 --> 01:20:27,374
Does Albert read?
838
01:20:27,375 --> 01:20:29,374
No.
839
01:20:32,125 --> 01:20:34,999
If you don't read, does that make you safe?
840
01:20:35,000 --> 01:20:37,082
Only from bad books.
841
01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:42,124
You could spend a lifetime in here reading.
842
01:20:42,125 --> 01:20:48,374
You could. Two lifetimes - yours and mine.
843
01:20:48,750 --> 01:20:51,207
- ls that what l'm in for?
- No.
844
01:20:56,458 --> 01:21:00,624
What good are all these books to you?
You can't eat them.
845
01:21:00,625 --> 01:21:03,499
How can they make you happy?
846
01:21:03,500 --> 01:21:06,499
I've always found them very reasonable.
847
01:21:06,500 --> 01:21:09,874
They don't change their minds
when you're not looking.
848
01:21:09,875 --> 01:21:12,499
That sounds like a disadvantage to me.
849
01:21:15,125 --> 01:21:17,124
Kiss me.
850
01:21:18,333 --> 01:21:22,374
♪ Wash me thoroughly ♪
851
01:21:22,375 --> 01:21:25,582
♪ From my iniquity ♪
852
01:21:26,458 --> 01:21:28,832
♪ And blot out... ♪
853
01:21:29,958 --> 01:21:32,374
- l...
- ♪ Blot out... ♪
854
01:21:32,375 --> 01:21:34,332
- I think perhaps...
- ♪ My? ♪
855
01:21:34,333 --> 01:21:37,874
l think perhaps we'll leave the singing.
856
01:21:37,875 --> 01:21:40,874
Do you agree, until later, maybe?
857
01:21:45,125 --> 01:21:47,707
How is the restaurant?
858
01:21:47,708 --> 01:21:51,832
- It's all right.
- And Richard? Mr Boarst?
859
01:21:52,083 --> 01:21:54,249
He's fine.
860
01:21:55,875 --> 01:21:58,832
ls there any more trouble,
861
01:21:59,833 --> 01:22:02,124
er, like last night?
862
01:22:02,125 --> 01:22:04,832
- No, sir.
- Would you like to join us?
863
01:22:08,625 --> 01:22:12,207
No, thank you. I'll eat later with Mr Boarst.
864
01:22:26,625 --> 01:22:28,749
Enjoy your meal.
865
01:22:28,750 --> 01:22:30,749
Thank you.
866
01:22:35,125 --> 01:22:40,957
Erm, have you any other news to tell us?
867
01:22:42,125 --> 01:22:47,499
Mr Boarst says... He told me to tell you to stay put
868
01:22:47,875 --> 01:22:51,624
and he wishes you bon appétit.
869
01:22:51,625 --> 01:22:53,582
Thank you.
870
01:23:01,333 --> 01:23:04,374
When you're finished, I'm to take the dishes back.
871
01:23:05,500 --> 01:23:11,624
Oh, if you find any of those books interesting,
you can borrow them.
872
01:23:43,625 --> 01:23:45,832
Wa-woo! Di-di-di-di-dah-da!
873
01:23:55,833 --> 01:23:58,582
All right, where are they? Where are they?
874
01:23:59,500 --> 01:24:02,374
- l don't know.
- You don't know?
875
01:24:02,375 --> 01:24:06,999
l don't suppose you ate all this yourself.
What have we got in here? Let's see. Ah.
876
01:24:07,250 --> 01:24:11,374
Fish sauce with mayonnaise
and a touch of basil. I like basil.
877
01:24:11,708 --> 01:24:14,249
What else we got in here? Aha.
878
01:24:14,250 --> 01:24:17,707
It's sticky. Don't tell me.
Chocolate sauce - profiteroles.
879
01:24:17,958 --> 01:24:20,874
Georgina liked profiteroles.
880
01:24:21,625 --> 01:24:25,749
Oh, and serviettes
with Georgina's lipstick on them.
881
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:28,957
And a nice bottle of wine. Very nice.
882
01:24:28,958 --> 01:24:32,124
He's for the chop, Richard.
I'll get my hands on him.
883
01:24:32,125 --> 01:24:36,457
Leave that bread roll alone. I need to know
where they are. Where are they? Eh?
884
01:24:36,708 --> 01:24:41,874
Ah. Ah. That's good.
Open your mouth. Come on, open it.
885
01:24:42,125 --> 01:24:45,999
- Take an interest in your food.
- We don't need to do this.
886
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,499
- Getting squeamish?
- He's just a kid.
887
01:24:49,500 --> 01:24:53,624
- Stand him up and get his trousers down.
- Leave him alone.
888
01:24:53,625 --> 01:24:58,874
Get out. Who needs fairies like you?
And take your four-eyed cousin with you.
889
01:24:59,208 --> 01:25:04,457
See how you get on in the streets without
me to wipe your noses. Get lost! Righto.
890
01:25:04,750 --> 01:25:07,999
OK, button eater, tell me where they are.
891
01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:14,374
OK, button eater, where are they?
892
01:25:15,750 --> 01:25:20,124
We've run out of buttons.
But there is one more button.
893
01:25:20,125 --> 01:25:23,624
lt's your belly button.
How'd you like to swallow that?
894
01:25:23,625 --> 01:25:25,957
- Albert!
- You still here?
895
01:25:25,958 --> 01:25:28,707
Well, then, watch this.
896
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:41,374
Wake him up! Wake him up, wake him up.
I must find out where she is!
897
01:25:41,708 --> 01:25:46,707
Wake him up!
898
01:25:47,833 --> 01:25:52,499
Where are they?
If he comes to, he better start to talk.
899
01:26:00,250 --> 01:26:02,749
I got 'em!
900
01:26:48,333 --> 01:26:50,457
I have brought your dinner.
901
01:26:59,208 --> 01:27:01,707
Where's the kitchen lad?
902
01:27:01,708 --> 01:27:05,332
- He is in hospital.
- What?
903
01:27:08,958 --> 01:27:13,624
He said he told them nothing and I believe him.
904
01:27:13,625 --> 01:27:17,707
- l must see him.
- l don't think that's wise.
905
01:27:17,958 --> 01:27:19,874
I'm coming.
906
01:27:20,833 --> 01:27:23,499
You must take me to him.
907
01:27:23,500 --> 01:27:26,749
- Start packing.
- What have we got to pack?
908
01:27:28,208 --> 01:27:31,624
Richard. Richard, bring that for Pup.
909
01:27:31,625 --> 01:27:35,082
What can you do? You only endanger yourself.
910
01:27:36,750 --> 01:27:39,124
l'll only be gone an hour.
911
01:27:39,125 --> 01:27:42,249
Richard, you can bring me back, can't you?
912
01:27:44,458 --> 01:27:47,874
Oh, poor Pup. Oh, poor Pup.
913
01:27:55,708 --> 01:27:58,124
Leave me something to eat.
914
01:27:58,125 --> 01:28:00,124
Of course.
915
01:28:02,833 --> 01:28:04,957
Please be very careful.
916
01:28:31,250 --> 01:28:46,124
♪ Have mercy upon me ♪
917
01:28:47,958 --> 01:29:02,624
♪ Blot out my transgressions ♪
918
01:29:03,875 --> 01:29:10,624
♪ Purge me with hyssop... ♪
919
01:29:13,458 --> 01:29:15,374
Thank you.
920
01:29:19,500 --> 01:29:25,874
♪ Wash me, wash me ♪
921
01:29:26,250 --> 01:29:33,624
♪ And l shall be whiter than snow... ♪
922
01:29:42,500 --> 01:29:45,207
Hold him by his hair.
923
01:29:45,208 --> 01:29:47,457
He hasn't got much hair to hold.
924
01:29:47,458 --> 01:29:50,999
- Disgusting to be that old and to be her lover.
- Same age as you.
925
01:29:51,250 --> 01:29:55,749
- I'm her husband, not her lover.
- You can only be one and not the other?
926
01:29:56,083 --> 01:30:02,374
If he'd been younger, I could've understood.
He'd just be a passing fancy. You bastard!
927
01:30:02,750 --> 01:30:06,749
Right, Mitchel, now's your chance.
You are gonna chew bollocks.
928
01:30:07,000 --> 01:30:09,499
- He's too old.
- What's that mean?
929
01:30:09,750 --> 01:30:12,374
He's the same age as me - 40, almost.
930
01:30:12,625 --> 01:30:15,707
lf he was younger it would've been all right?
931
01:30:15,708 --> 01:30:19,874
My God. When you're 1 7, is being 40 old?
932
01:30:19,875 --> 01:30:26,499
- He probably hasn't had a bath recently.
- God, Mitchel, you are a prize mule.
933
01:30:28,375 --> 01:30:30,499
Well, I mean, certainly...
934
01:30:30,500 --> 01:30:34,207
- He must've been with Georgina last night.
- No! Shut up.
935
01:30:34,458 --> 01:30:37,249
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
936
01:30:37,250 --> 01:30:39,499
You pissing little worm.
937
01:30:41,500 --> 01:30:43,874
God, you are an idiot, Mitchel.
938
01:30:43,875 --> 01:30:48,249
You can be guaranteed
to say the wrong thing at the right time.
939
01:30:48,250 --> 01:30:52,499
I didn't mean that you literally
had to chew his bollocks off.
940
01:30:52,750 --> 01:30:55,749
I meant it metaphorically.
941
01:30:55,750 --> 01:30:57,999
What does that mean, Albert?
942
01:30:58,000 --> 01:31:01,249
"Jewish Book-keeper Savaged
By Young Sex Maniac."
943
01:31:01,500 --> 01:31:04,957
l don't want this to look like a sex murder.
944
01:31:05,208 --> 01:31:10,249
lt's a revenge killing, an affair of the heart,
a crime passionnel.
945
01:31:10,583 --> 01:31:14,207
I want no evil gossip spread around about me.
946
01:31:14,208 --> 01:31:19,624
They are not going to say... They are going
to say this was a dignified revenge killing.
947
01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,207
They're gonna admire the style.
948
01:31:22,208 --> 01:31:26,124
"He was stuffed. And Albert liked good food."
949
01:31:26,458 --> 01:31:30,624
They might even smile.
"He was stuffed with the tools of his trade."
950
01:31:31,708 --> 01:31:36,582
"He was stuffed with books.
The crummy little book-keeper was..."
951
01:31:36,875 --> 01:31:41,457
Mitchel, no unnecessary... No unnecessaries.
952
01:31:42,750 --> 01:31:47,874
Finish him off! Shut his mouth, hold his nose,
ram the bloody books down his throat.
953
01:31:48,208 --> 01:31:50,624
Suffocate the bastard!
954
01:31:57,875 --> 01:31:59,957
Michael!
955
01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:11,457
Michael.
956
01:32:34,708 --> 01:32:39,249
OK, so this is how you eat the crayfish.
First, you snap off the head.
957
01:32:40,750 --> 01:32:42,999
Then you pull out the whiskers,
958
01:32:43,000 --> 01:32:45,207
then you strip off the legs.
959
01:32:47,125 --> 01:32:53,874
And then you poke out the soft part of the body.
960
01:32:54,250 --> 01:32:57,832
- You turn the light out?
- What light?
961
01:32:58,750 --> 01:33:03,499
Idiot. You wouldn't remember to fart.
Place might burn down with all them books.
962
01:33:03,500 --> 01:33:08,249
- That would nicely destroy the evidence.
- I don't want it destroyed, idiot!
963
01:33:08,250 --> 01:33:09,999
I want Georgina to see it.
964
01:34:12,875 --> 01:34:14,874
What did he say?
965
01:34:15,125 --> 01:34:19,124
The French Revolution
was easier to swallow than Napoleon.
966
01:34:19,375 --> 01:34:22,999
Napoleon was a prat. He threw everything away.
967
01:34:23,250 --> 01:34:28,374
Napoleon liked seafood.
His favourite dish was oysters Florentine.
968
01:34:28,708 --> 01:34:32,124
It's amazing, isn't it? Churchill liked seafood.
969
01:34:32,125 --> 01:34:36,124
All the great generals were keen on seafood.
970
01:34:36,125 --> 01:34:39,249
What did Julius Caesar like, or Hitler?
971
01:34:39,250 --> 01:34:42,707
Hitler liked clams. And Mussolini liked squid.
972
01:34:42,708 --> 01:34:45,624
- You're making it up.
- What do you know, Harris?
973
01:34:45,625 --> 01:34:49,124
- What did the bookseller eat?
- You could tell from his vomit.
974
01:34:49,125 --> 01:34:53,207
What do l care what he ate?
lt all comes out as shit in the end.
975
01:35:13,708 --> 01:35:15,707
I'm so tired.
976
01:35:18,750 --> 01:35:20,874
I'm going to sleep.
977
01:35:35,875 --> 01:35:38,749
I've got a lot to tell you in the morning.
978
01:35:40,083 --> 01:35:42,207
And l want you to listen.
979
01:35:44,333 --> 01:35:47,749
Somebody should know.
And who can l tell but you?
980
01:35:52,250 --> 01:35:54,582
And then...
981
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:01,249
when I wake up in the morning,
982
01:36:05,625 --> 01:36:07,832
I want you to kiss me.
983
01:36:12,333 --> 01:36:14,582
And then l want breakfast.
984
01:36:15,750 --> 01:36:19,374
Erm, coffee and fresh rolls and butter
985
01:36:22,125 --> 01:36:24,124
and marmalade.
986
01:36:25,250 --> 01:36:28,332
And toast.
987
01:36:29,625 --> 01:36:31,707
And...
988
01:36:33,875 --> 01:36:35,957
Good night, Michael.
989
01:36:41,375 --> 01:36:43,624
I'll see you in the morning.
990
01:36:48,125 --> 01:36:50,207
l love you.
991
01:36:52,000 --> 01:36:55,457
- You shouldn't have done it. lt wasn't worth it.
- You what?
992
01:36:55,458 --> 01:36:59,624
Georgina wasn't worth it?
How bloody dare you say that?
993
01:36:59,875 --> 01:37:04,749
Georgina's worth a thousand
snooty little Jewish book-keeping clerks
994
01:37:04,750 --> 01:37:07,874
who masturbate over the French Revolution.
995
01:37:07,875 --> 01:37:12,874
The book-keeper will get us into trouble
and he wasn't worth it. Calm down.
996
01:37:13,250 --> 01:37:18,457
Little circumcised mediocrity
was screwing my wife! l will not calm down!
997
01:37:18,750 --> 01:37:22,874
I've seen you, Harris, eyeing Georgina,
looking at another man's wife.
998
01:37:23,125 --> 01:37:26,749
I've seen you watch her skirt fly up
when she got out of the car.
999
01:37:27,000 --> 01:37:29,624
Yes, I've seen you sniffing her, Harris.
1000
01:37:29,625 --> 01:37:32,999
And to think I ever trusted you with her,
1001
01:37:33,958 --> 01:37:37,124
that l ever trusted you to drive her home
when l was drunk.
1002
01:37:37,375 --> 01:37:40,374
- You get out of this restaurant!
- Calm down.
1003
01:37:40,375 --> 01:37:44,124
Mitchel, get Richard.
I want this man banned. Get out!
1004
01:37:44,125 --> 01:37:47,582
- lf you want to shout...
- I can shout in my own restaurant!
1005
01:37:47,833 --> 01:37:51,582
I own this restaurant. Get out! Fuck you!
1006
01:37:53,750 --> 01:37:57,499
Go, you mule! Richard, I'm closing you up.
1007
01:37:57,750 --> 01:38:01,499
- Really?
- You are finished, Richard.
1008
01:38:01,750 --> 01:38:06,957
Allowing decent people to dine
with wife snatchers. You're finished!
1009
01:38:07,250 --> 01:38:09,499
I think not, Mr Spica!
1010
01:38:09,500 --> 01:38:14,749
And if l did, where would you eat?
Who would have you?
1011
01:38:15,083 --> 01:38:20,082
Now, if you'd kindly leave,
we can start clearing up the mess you have made.
1012
01:38:20,375 --> 01:38:25,249
l'm warning you. Tomorrow
your restaurant will be just one big car park.
1013
01:38:25,500 --> 01:38:28,207
- Nothing more.
- l wonder how you will do that.
1014
01:38:28,208 --> 01:38:33,124
A bulldozer, Richard.
Your cuisine will be 20 feet under brick dust.
1015
01:38:33,458 --> 01:38:36,957
Get out of it, Harris. You get out of it.
1016
01:38:36,958 --> 01:38:40,749
Go on. I can tell loyalty when l see it.
1017
01:39:05,875 --> 01:39:07,999
Well, Michael,
1018
01:39:10,375 --> 01:39:12,457
you didn't kiss me
1019
01:39:14,750 --> 01:39:16,749
so...
1020
01:39:19,458 --> 01:39:22,249
I suppose l have to make my own breakfast.
1021
01:39:25,583 --> 01:39:27,624
Don't get up yet.
1022
01:39:44,125 --> 01:39:46,124
Well, Michael,
1023
01:39:49,250 --> 01:39:51,249
that's that.
1024
01:39:52,750 --> 01:39:56,124
Short and very sweet.
1025
01:39:59,458 --> 01:40:03,624
Now you're not listening,
I suppose I could tell you about Albert.
1026
01:40:04,958 --> 01:40:09,999
l meant to tell you eventually
but I'd have to know you better because...
1027
01:40:10,000 --> 01:40:12,499
Well, because l'd be so ashamed.
1028
01:40:15,458 --> 01:40:19,832
But it's important that l tell you now
so that I can have done with it.
1029
01:40:26,250 --> 01:40:31,624
Albert beat me. Well, l know you know that.
You saw the bruises.
1030
01:40:33,125 --> 01:40:35,374
He was regular in his habits.
1031
01:40:41,000 --> 01:40:44,749
When we got back from the restaurant,
he'd make me get a hot, wet towel
1032
01:40:44,750 --> 01:40:46,874
and accompany him to the toilet.
1033
01:40:49,208 --> 01:40:51,332
And I'd have to wipe his...
1034
01:40:55,625 --> 01:40:58,707
After l finished, he... he made... Oh...
1035
01:41:03,333 --> 01:41:05,374
Help me, Michael.
1036
01:41:09,125 --> 01:41:13,874
On his side of the bed he had
a suitcase with all kinds of objects in it.
1037
01:41:14,208 --> 01:41:16,332
Er, a toothbrush,
1038
01:41:18,333 --> 01:41:20,374
a wooden spoon,
1039
01:41:24,000 --> 01:41:26,124
a plastic train,
1040
01:41:27,583 --> 01:41:29,707
a wine bottle.
1041
01:41:29,708 --> 01:41:31,832
And he'd use them.
1042
01:41:33,625 --> 01:41:38,124
lf l didn't do it whilst he watched,
he'd insist on doing it himself.
1043
01:41:40,083 --> 01:41:42,999
At least when I did it, it hurt less.
1044
01:41:45,625 --> 01:41:50,457
l don't think he was very interested in sex -
not with me, not with women.
1045
01:41:54,875 --> 01:41:56,999
I left him four times.
1046
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:01,207
l caught the night ferry.
1047
01:42:03,750 --> 01:42:07,707
He and Harris found me in Brussels,
they brought me back.
1048
01:42:09,250 --> 01:42:12,249
On the boat, Albert cried, bought me presents.
1049
01:42:14,625 --> 01:42:19,124
But then after we landed,
when we got just outside the harbour,
1050
01:42:19,458 --> 01:42:22,332
before the motorway, he stopped the car
1051
01:42:22,333 --> 01:42:27,124
and he and Harris and Spangler dragged me out
and stripped me and beat me.
1052
01:42:33,625 --> 01:42:35,624
'Michael,
1053
01:42:38,000 --> 01:42:40,124
'all this must finish.
1054
01:42:42,333 --> 01:42:45,249
'Help me, Michael. Please.'
1055
01:42:52,875 --> 01:42:54,957
He's dead.
1056
01:42:57,583 --> 01:43:02,582
They stuffed his mouth with paper
ripped from his favourite book.
1057
01:43:02,875 --> 01:43:05,749
- Could you cook him?
- Cook who, Georgina?
1058
01:43:07,375 --> 01:43:09,499
Michael.
1059
01:43:09,500 --> 01:43:12,124
No. Mon dieu, non.
1060
01:43:15,083 --> 01:43:19,874
You have a reputation
for a wide range of experimentaI dishes.
1061
01:43:22,500 --> 01:43:25,082
He might taste good.
1062
01:43:25,083 --> 01:43:27,457
l'm sure he would taste good.
1063
01:43:27,458 --> 01:43:29,999
What would taste best?
1064
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:33,332
His heart? His liver?
1065
01:43:33,333 --> 01:43:36,124
The cheeks of his backside?
1066
01:43:36,125 --> 01:43:39,457
His prairie oysters?
1067
01:43:42,208 --> 01:43:44,457
Georgina,
1068
01:43:44,458 --> 01:43:46,457
sit down.
1069
01:43:47,833 --> 01:43:49,832
Sit down.
1070
01:43:52,625 --> 01:43:55,999
When you make out a menu,
how do you price each dish?
1071
01:43:59,000 --> 01:44:02,249
l charge a lot for anything black.
1072
01:44:02,250 --> 01:44:06,249
Grapes, olives, blackcurrants.
1073
01:44:09,583 --> 01:44:12,374
People like to remind themselves of death,
1074
01:44:13,375 --> 01:44:17,207
eating black food is like consuming death,
1075
01:44:18,500 --> 01:44:24,999
like saying, "Death, l'm eating you."
1076
01:44:25,375 --> 01:44:29,457
Black truffles are the most expensive. And caviar.
1077
01:44:31,500 --> 01:44:33,874
Death and birth.
1078
01:44:35,250 --> 01:44:37,999
The end and the beginning.
1079
01:44:39,375 --> 01:44:44,374
Don't you think it's appropriate
that the most expensive items are black?
1080
01:44:48,458 --> 01:44:50,707
We also charge for vanity.
1081
01:44:51,875 --> 01:44:54,749
Diet foods have an additional surcharge
1082
01:44:56,333 --> 01:44:58,624
of 30%.
1083
01:44:59,625 --> 01:45:02,624
Aphrodisiacs, 50%.
1084
01:45:02,625 --> 01:45:07,582
And from what l saw,
your lover did not need an aphrodisiac.
1085
01:45:08,708 --> 01:45:12,374
What did you see? I want to know.
1086
01:45:13,750 --> 01:45:15,707
Nobody knew but you.
1087
01:45:16,750 --> 01:45:20,332
Everyone pitied me. Even you pitied me.
1088
01:45:20,333 --> 01:45:24,082
And how can l know that he loved me
if there were no witnesses?
1089
01:45:25,583 --> 01:45:30,582
lf you loved him, that does not seem
to be a very necessary question.
1090
01:45:30,875 --> 01:45:33,874
Yes, it does! Tell me what you know!
1091
01:45:37,250 --> 01:45:40,124
What l saw was what you let me see.
1092
01:45:42,875 --> 01:45:44,832
Of course it was.
1093
01:45:45,833 --> 01:45:50,249
How could l know that it was real
unless someone else was watching?
1094
01:45:52,833 --> 01:45:54,957
Tell me what you saw.
1095
01:45:56,000 --> 01:45:58,249
Or are you ashamed to tell me?
1096
01:46:02,125 --> 01:46:04,499
No.
1097
01:46:04,500 --> 01:46:06,749
I saw him kissing you
1098
01:46:09,000 --> 01:46:10,999
on the mouth,
1099
01:46:13,250 --> 01:46:15,332
on the neck,
1100
01:46:16,250 --> 01:46:18,332
behind your ear.
1101
01:46:22,208 --> 01:46:24,499
I saw him undressing you.
1102
01:46:29,250 --> 01:46:31,374
I saw him kissing your breasts.
1103
01:46:35,458 --> 01:46:39,124
I saw him put his hand between your legs.
1104
01:46:41,750 --> 01:46:43,999
And what did you see me do?
1105
01:46:47,833 --> 01:46:49,874
l saw you kiss him on the mouth.
1106
01:46:54,250 --> 01:46:58,499
l saw you lying under him on the floor of the pantry.
1107
01:47:02,250 --> 01:47:05,332
I saw him take you from behind.
1108
01:47:10,125 --> 01:47:13,832
I saw you take his penis in your mouth.
1109
01:47:17,250 --> 01:47:19,499
I saw you...
1110
01:47:36,708 --> 01:47:39,249
Do lovers always behave like that?
1111
01:47:44,250 --> 01:47:47,499
My parents behaved like that.
1112
01:47:47,500 --> 01:47:49,624
They did?
1113
01:47:49,625 --> 01:47:53,874
- You saw them?
- And lovers in the cinema behave like that.
1114
01:47:54,208 --> 01:47:56,374
No, that doesn't count.
1115
01:47:56,375 --> 01:48:01,124
And in my fantasies,
lovers always behave like that.
1116
01:48:01,458 --> 01:48:04,332
Were you jealous?
1117
01:48:04,333 --> 01:48:06,457
Did we make you jealous?
1118
01:48:07,833 --> 01:48:09,957
Did you want to join us?
1119
01:48:11,125 --> 01:48:14,832
- If you did, help me now.
- Georgina, no.
1120
01:48:14,833 --> 01:48:19,999
ln memory of us making love in your kitchen
and in your fantasies, help me now.
1121
01:48:20,250 --> 01:48:22,999
No.
1122
01:48:23,000 --> 01:48:27,249
In memory of your parents making love,
help me now.
1123
01:48:27,250 --> 01:48:29,207
Georgina, no!
1124
01:48:30,250 --> 01:48:32,749
People I like learn my name too late.
1125
01:48:34,375 --> 01:48:36,499
Too late?
1126
01:48:37,875 --> 01:48:40,124
Cook Michael for me.
1127
01:48:40,125 --> 01:48:42,124
No.
1128
01:48:43,250 --> 01:48:45,832
This was his favourite restaurant.
1129
01:48:46,958 --> 01:48:48,999
It's also mine.
1130
01:48:50,083 --> 01:48:52,124
Cook Michael for me.
1131
01:48:53,750 --> 01:48:56,707
If I did,
1132
01:48:56,708 --> 01:48:59,582
who would ever eat here again?
1133
01:49:03,875 --> 01:49:06,124
How can l make you change your mind?
1134
01:49:09,750 --> 01:49:13,374
Do you want to make love with me?
You can do what he did.
1135
01:49:17,250 --> 01:49:19,457
How can l persuade you?
1136
01:49:20,375 --> 01:49:22,832
You can't. You may have loved him...
1137
01:49:22,833 --> 01:49:25,249
You know l did, you saw me.
1138
01:49:27,000 --> 01:49:29,874
But you don't have to eat him, Georgina.
1139
01:49:30,125 --> 01:49:34,624
Do you... do you have some idea
that by eating him
1140
01:49:34,958 --> 01:49:37,499
he can become part of you?
1141
01:49:37,500 --> 01:49:41,832
You can't believe that by eating him
you can always be together!
1142
01:49:42,958 --> 01:49:45,082
I'm not eating him.
1143
01:49:48,250 --> 01:49:51,124
- Albert is.
- Albert?
1144
01:49:56,083 --> 01:49:58,499
There's £1 1 ,000. lt's Michael's.
1145
01:50:06,125 --> 01:50:08,249
Put your money away.
1146
01:50:15,208 --> 01:50:17,249
Where is he?
1147
01:52:03,125 --> 01:52:05,124
What's going on here?
1148
01:52:05,375 --> 01:52:09,624
Why do l suddenly have to come in
to my own restaurant like a stranger?
1149
01:52:09,625 --> 01:52:11,707
Special invitations.
1150
01:52:12,875 --> 01:52:16,374
Which I might say
could've gone to a better printer.
1151
01:52:16,375 --> 01:52:18,957
I have to bang on the door like an outcast.
1152
01:52:20,875 --> 01:52:22,999
Well, well, well.
1153
01:52:23,000 --> 01:52:27,874
Georgina Duckies.
What brings you here, you bitch?
1154
01:52:29,000 --> 01:52:32,624
l'm very surprised
you show your face here, you slut.
1155
01:52:32,625 --> 01:52:36,374
Where you been? Albert has been frantic.
1156
01:52:36,625 --> 01:52:39,332
Shut up, Grace. Find me a drink.
1157
01:52:39,333 --> 01:52:43,374
- Happy anniversary, Albert.
- I'll bloody kill you for what you did!
1158
01:52:43,625 --> 01:52:47,124
- You should find that easy.
- Don't think l'm taking you back.
1159
01:52:47,375 --> 01:52:49,624
l'll make you pay, you slut.
1160
01:52:49,625 --> 01:52:53,124
Your bottom's going to be
very, very sore for weeks.
1161
01:52:54,375 --> 01:52:58,499
No more books for you, girl.
You're staying in under lock and key.
1162
01:52:58,750 --> 01:53:03,249
There's going to be no more books
or prick-sniffing for you, girl.
1163
01:53:04,958 --> 01:53:07,457
Happy anniversary, Albert.
1164
01:53:07,458 --> 01:53:11,124
What are you talking about? It's not my birthday.
1165
01:53:11,375 --> 01:53:17,707
No, but it's an anniversary that l shall
always celebrate, even if you won't. And you won't.
1166
01:53:18,083 --> 01:53:22,624
- What? Where is everybody?
- They'll be here presently.
1167
01:53:22,875 --> 01:53:25,707
- Look, Georgina.
- What?
1168
01:53:25,708 --> 01:53:29,457
- lt's all over now.
- What is?
1169
01:53:29,458 --> 01:53:32,874
- Grace, just go and look out of a window.
- Oh.
1170
01:53:32,875 --> 01:53:35,374
Mitchel, bugger off out of it.
1171
01:53:35,375 --> 01:53:38,582
Look, Georgina, when the others arrive...
1172
01:53:38,583 --> 01:53:41,499
Where are they? The invitation says nine o'clock.
1173
01:53:41,750 --> 01:53:45,207
- Where are they gonna sit?
- They'll be here presently.
1174
01:53:45,458 --> 01:53:49,582
Look, Georgina, you didn't...
didn't really like him, did you?
1175
01:53:49,583 --> 01:53:54,582
I mean, how could you like
a bloody book-keeper, a nobody?
1176
01:53:55,833 --> 01:54:00,374
I tell you what. I'll try... We'll forget it, eh?
1177
01:54:01,375 --> 01:54:04,124
Eh? Come home with me.
1178
01:54:04,125 --> 01:54:08,624
Tell you the truth, Georgie,
I've been a bit miserable.
1179
01:54:08,625 --> 01:54:12,582
- Since it is your anniversary...
- What bloody anniversary?
1180
01:54:12,875 --> 01:54:14,999
I've brought you a present.
1181
01:54:15,000 --> 01:54:18,499
I don't need presents.
It's me who gives you presents.
1182
01:54:18,750 --> 01:54:22,374
Besides, you've never had
the money to give me presents.
1183
01:54:22,625 --> 01:54:24,874
And Richard has cooked it for you.
1184
01:54:26,000 --> 01:54:28,624
- Under my instructions.
- Oh?
1185
01:54:28,875 --> 01:54:30,874
Knowing how you like to eat.
1186
01:54:32,000 --> 01:54:34,624
Knowing how you like to gorge yourself.
1187
01:54:35,875 --> 01:54:38,999
And we've brought a few of your friends around.
1188
01:55:45,583 --> 01:55:48,249
What sort of party is this, Georgie?
1189
01:55:50,083 --> 01:55:53,457
- What's going on?
- Sit down, Albert.
1190
01:55:54,708 --> 01:55:56,999
Can't l sit down, Georgina?
1191
01:55:57,000 --> 01:55:59,332
No, this is Albert's special treat.
1192
01:56:01,583 --> 01:56:07,124
- Here, l'm not eating with that Roy there.
- Shut up, Albert.
1193
01:56:09,375 --> 01:56:11,749
You're here to enjoy yourself.
1194
01:56:22,875 --> 01:56:24,832
Georgie.
1195
01:56:41,333 --> 01:56:43,624
Jesus!
1196
01:56:43,625 --> 01:56:45,082
God.
1197
01:56:49,250 --> 01:56:52,707
No, it's not God, Albert. lt's Michael.
1198
01:56:54,583 --> 01:56:56,499
My lover.
1199
01:56:57,625 --> 01:57:00,582
You vowed you would kill him, and you did.
1200
01:57:02,708 --> 01:57:04,999
And you vowed you would eat him.
1201
01:57:06,833 --> 01:57:08,999
Now eat him.
1202
01:57:11,000 --> 01:57:13,249
What's the matter?
1203
01:57:13,250 --> 01:57:17,124
You have your knife and fork.
You do know how to use them.
1204
01:57:17,125 --> 01:57:21,374
Or have all those carefully-learnt table manners
gone to waste?
1205
01:57:32,625 --> 01:57:35,207
Mitchel can pour you a drink.
1206
01:57:42,708 --> 01:57:45,499
Your waiter has opted out.
1207
01:57:45,500 --> 01:57:48,582
Er, Grace will pour for you.
1208
01:57:48,583 --> 01:57:50,499
Oh.
1209
01:57:53,750 --> 01:57:55,957
- Non, monsieur!
- Yah!
1210
01:58:14,500 --> 01:58:16,999
Eat, Albert.
1211
01:58:18,375 --> 01:58:20,749
Roy, pour Albert a drink.
1212
01:58:57,708 --> 01:59:02,124
Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy.
1213
01:59:03,250 --> 01:59:05,624
And you know where it's been.
1214
01:59:42,000 --> 01:59:44,124
Go on, Albert.
1215
01:59:45,208 --> 01:59:47,124
Eat.
1216
02:00:05,083 --> 02:00:07,124
Bon appétit.
1217
02:00:09,625 --> 02:00:11,624
It's French.
1218
02:00:39,333 --> 02:00:40,832
Cannibal.
94808
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