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Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
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Merry Christmas
- Merry Christmas
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Oh
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Ohh
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Is this for me?
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Ohhh
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Merry Christmas!
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What a
- load of old crap
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If I'd have wanted sickly sweet
sentimental garbage
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I'd have got John Lewis to make it
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But we thought
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Because Christmas is about
kindness and community spirit
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Cobblers!
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Christmas isn't about spirit
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Christmas is about shopping and
stress and over consumption
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00:02:02,662 --> 00:02:05,562
It's about traffic jams and
family arguments
17
00:02:05,772 --> 00:02:08,368
It's about boring office parties
and hangovers
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00:02:09,059 --> 00:02:10,852
And most importantly for us
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it's about spending money
that you don't have
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00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:16,683
on useless presents you find online
at 3 o'clock in the morning
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00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:18,536
for that cousin you secretly hate
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That's what Christmas is really about
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And that's what we're going to cash in on
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So you want something more...
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00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:27,451
explotative and commercial?
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00:02:27,519 --> 00:02:28,519
Exactly!
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But with a joke at the
end, because you know
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t'is the season to be jolly
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00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:39,513
But Miss Mackay I really think
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- Call me Carole
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00:02:40,704 --> 00:02:42,913
Carole, I really think
what the consumer sort of
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- I don't care what you think
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I'm Christmas Carole!
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My company is called Christmas Carole
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and that's why at Christmas Carole
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we sell single use Christmas products
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00:02:52,974 --> 00:02:54,727
wrapping paper, decorations
38
00:02:55,807 --> 00:02:58,195
- Well let's not call it that,
let's call it seasonal homeware
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00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,220
Cheap tat
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00:03:00,315 --> 00:03:01,148
You see these?
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00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:03,361
We make these for 20p
and sell them for £6.99
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00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,398
and everyone will get
through at least three
43
00:03:05,412 --> 00:03:06,772
because they are
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utter rubbish!
45
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,114
And what do you think will
happen to our profit margins
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if people start making this rubbish
47
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for themselves?
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Merry Christmas to you too
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00:03:22,032 --> 00:03:23,032
- Come on Bobbie!
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00:03:27,899 --> 00:03:29,952
I didn't think the ad was that bad
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Oh I liked the old man he was
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merry and sweet
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Don't you feel sorry for him?
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- No! He looked like a boozer
55
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Ahh, no cash!
56
00:03:36,994 --> 00:03:38,373
Have you got a card reader?
57
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Probably why he's on his own
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Wife left him
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She'd had enough of the endless
cycle of misery and poverty
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00:03:46,999 --> 00:03:48,406
and got the hell out of there
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00:03:48,447 --> 00:03:49,719
Hopefully she took the kids with her
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Ahh! Can you believe it's snowing?
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- I know
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00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:55,825
But maybe we should the whole reusing,
recycling angle?
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00:03:55,842 --> 00:03:58,978
I don't know if you've had a chance to
look at my presentation that I gave you but
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00:03:59,025 --> 00:04:00,344
I've got another copy here
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00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:01,084
if you wanted to have a look
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00:04:01,098 --> 00:04:03,432
Bobbie!
Stop being such a misery it's Christmas
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00:04:04,271 --> 00:04:05,271
Look,
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I care about the planet, I do
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00:04:07,403 --> 00:04:09,751
I watch David Attenborough and Anette...
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00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:11,038
Gretta Doodah...
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It just doesn't fit with the
Christmas Carole business model
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00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,325
And changing the Christmas
Carole business model
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00:04:16,332 --> 00:04:18,012
is a huge undertaking
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It's hardly something I'm going to do
on the day I'm selling the company
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- You're selling the company?
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00:04:23,682 --> 00:04:25,174
Limpopo are buying me out
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00:04:25,202 --> 00:04:26,202
Limpopo?
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00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:28,347
The massive American online retailer?
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- No, the river in Africa
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The deal goes through at midnight tonight
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- Wow
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I'm giving myself a hundred
million pounds for Christmas
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- A hundred million?
86
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Wow
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I know!
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Carole, Carole, couldn't you at least
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- Bobbie, not now
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00:04:51,321 --> 00:04:52,527
Look, Carole,
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00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,407
What about the rest of the staff?
92
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,628
Who cares!
93
00:04:56,947 --> 00:04:59,046
Oh Bobbie not you, obviously
94
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I need you
95
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to do all the boring stuff
96
00:05:03,528 --> 00:05:06,061
Now there's a livestream event tonight
97
00:05:06,254 --> 00:05:08,637
At the Limpopo building
to announce the deal
98
00:05:08,638 --> 00:05:10,828
Starts at eight,
be there at seven-thirty
99
00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:13,241
Don't be late
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00:05:13,693 --> 00:05:15,547
What, wait no, Carole I can't
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what about
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It's Christmas Eve!
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Oh no
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Hey sis
105
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,544
Going to invite us in?
106
00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:17,074
You know, it's Christmas Eve
107
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,691
we thought we'd come down to London
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see the lights and
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- Boys! Remember what I said earlier
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00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:23,041
- Whoa this place looks amazing
111
00:06:23,054 --> 00:06:24,734
- Don't touch anything!
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00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,694
Don't bounce that ball inside
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Wow, this place is awesome, innit
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There's a pool and gym downstairs
it's got everything
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Sam, that fruit's for adults
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No decorations
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I don't do decorations
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Ahh you should try it!
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We make our own
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I think if I was going to ruin the decor
with a load of gaudy tat Rita
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I'd use my own brand
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I think ours look great
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the kids make 'em
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Well
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Kids make my decorations too so
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- C'mon throw it here
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- Mind that ball lads
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I said, no football
129
00:07:05,084 --> 00:07:06,604
Well that's a shame
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00:07:07,641 --> 00:07:10,541
We got you a Christmas
present auntie Carole
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The boys made it!
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It's recycled wool
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Who wants to watch my new TV?
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Ah cool!
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00:07:31,257 --> 00:07:33,324
So look, the real reason we ahh
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00:07:33,711 --> 00:07:35,637
came by was to errm
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to ask if you wanted to come to
ours for Christmas dinner tomorrow
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I'm busy
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00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:43,696
I know Christmas is always
going to be difficult for us
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Well not for me!
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I made a lot of money out of it
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But it's time to see your family
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00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,903
Well I've seen you now and
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00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:54,267
Our mother's dead so...
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00:07:56,004 --> 00:07:57,551
And what about our father?
146
00:07:57,558 --> 00:07:59,238
I don't have a father
147
00:08:00,953 --> 00:08:02,073
You mean Leon?
148
00:08:02,393 --> 00:08:04,891
It's been more than twenty years,
I thought it might be time to move on
149
00:08:04,916 --> 00:08:05,984
Well you thought wrong
150
00:08:05,991 --> 00:08:09,096
Besides I don't think I could face
Rita's plant-based roast turkey
151
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Plant-based food will save the planet!
152
00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:13,155
- But it tastes like crap
153
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,516
And nobody likes your
vegan mince pies either
154
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I like 'em!
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00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:18,210
He doesn't
156
00:08:18,222 --> 00:08:21,166
Anyway,
I expect you'll be wanting to get back
157
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That road will be getting busy
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The one that leads to
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Wherever it is you live
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Doesn't Christmas mean
anything to you?
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00:08:28,869 --> 00:08:29,869
Oh Rita,
162
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Christmas is a lie!
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It's a lie!
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Made up by German royals
and American corporations
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00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,261
and Charles bloody Dickens
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00:08:40,944 --> 00:08:43,639
- And if people are stupid enough to think
that putting up a dead tree
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and buying overpriced rubbish
made in Chinese sweatshops
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00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:51,797
by a bunch of eight year olds is enough to help
them summon up a few days of Christmas spirit
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Then I will happily take their money
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Please Carole just...
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come home
172
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:02,579
it's important
173
00:09:05,577 --> 00:09:07,257
- Come on kids, come on
we're going
174
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,310
Aww, I was watching that
175
00:09:09,865 --> 00:09:11,545
- Come on, let's go, now
176
00:09:11,932 --> 00:09:13,216
What time's our train?
177
00:09:13,243 --> 00:09:14,923
Why you taking us out?
178
00:09:16,295 --> 00:09:18,436
- She really have this place to herself?
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00:09:20,888 --> 00:09:22,001
Oh, here
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00:09:23,014 --> 00:09:24,534
Here's your present
181
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,800
There's a message in there for ya
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No there isn't
183
00:10:29,965 --> 00:10:30,965
Call Bobbie
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00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,618
Calling Bobbie
185
00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:52,908
Hello?
186
00:10:52,915 --> 00:10:53,915
Oh Bobbie,
187
00:10:54,675 --> 00:10:55,675
Oh,
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00:10:57,014 --> 00:10:57,856
Are you on your way?
189
00:10:57,881 --> 00:10:59,614
I need you to pick up some more of my pills
190
00:11:00,088 --> 00:11:02,594
Hi Carole, sort of
191
00:11:02,988 --> 00:11:03,855
not exactly
192
00:11:03,909 --> 00:11:05,589
Well what does that mean?
193
00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:09,816
Well, I know you wanted me
at the livestream thing tonight
194
00:11:09,841 --> 00:11:10,707
Stop stop
195
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:12,776
I know what you're going to say
196
00:11:13,483 --> 00:11:15,120
You want to be with your kids
197
00:11:16,053 --> 00:11:17,944
I do, I do
198
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:19,153
It's Christmas
199
00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:22,022
so want them all at home
200
00:11:22,969 --> 00:11:23,969
I understand
201
00:11:24,903 --> 00:11:27,176
Thank you, thank you Carole
202
00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:28,890
And the answer's no
203
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:30,487
Please Carole
204
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,579
You don't need me there
205
00:11:32,951 --> 00:11:35,364
Look, you'll be fine,
you can do this
206
00:11:35,372 --> 00:11:38,231
No Bobbie, the kids will be fine
207
00:11:38,911 --> 00:11:40,255
Kids are tough
208
00:11:46,883 --> 00:11:50,087
You know I value loyalty
above everything else
209
00:11:53,699 --> 00:11:54,819
I can't Carole
210
00:11:55,772 --> 00:11:56,772
I'm sorry I
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00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:58,344
I can't
212
00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:00,790
So am I
213
00:12:03,366 --> 00:12:04,366
You're fired
214
00:12:04,959 --> 00:12:05,509
- What?
215
00:12:05,716 --> 00:12:06,876
I said you're fired
216
00:12:06,909 --> 00:12:08,135
- You can't be serious
217
00:12:08,142 --> 00:12:09,142
Oh I am
218
00:12:11,089 --> 00:12:13,089
You're right, I don't need you
219
00:12:13,355 --> 00:12:15,197
I'm about to get a hundred million quid
220
00:12:15,224 --> 00:12:16,824
I don't need anybody
221
00:12:17,727 --> 00:12:20,127
Why's the money so important to you?
222
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,010
You've got millions
223
00:12:23,423 --> 00:12:26,228
Because life's a competition Bobbie
224
00:12:27,362 --> 00:12:30,541
Whoever has the most money at the end, wins
225
00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:34,874
There is nothing else
226
00:12:35,845 --> 00:12:38,178
- Please Carole,
it's Christmas Eve!
227
00:12:40,315 --> 00:12:42,515
- Please Carole, I though we were
228
00:13:05,964 --> 00:13:06,964
Hello?
229
00:13:07,997 --> 00:13:09,037
Anyone there?
230
00:13:16,522 --> 00:13:17,522
Hello?
231
00:13:33,193 --> 00:13:34,193
Ahh!
232
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,581
Hiya!
233
00:13:37,114 --> 00:13:38,114
Mama...
234
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,847
Hiya sweetheart!
235
00:13:42,902 --> 00:13:43,902
But
236
00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:46,297
Are you?
237
00:13:46,322 --> 00:13:46,745
Still dead?
238
00:13:47,097 --> 00:13:49,098
Yeah babe, very much so
239
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,829
Now, I've come back to tell
you something very important
240
00:13:52,851 --> 00:13:53,851
Ooh!
241
00:13:54,831 --> 00:13:55,831
Ooh
242
00:13:59,414 --> 00:14:00,594
You don't look dead
243
00:14:00,621 --> 00:14:01,621
Thank you
244
00:14:01,627 --> 00:14:04,120
If you remember I did have
quite a bit of work done
245
00:14:04,487 --> 00:14:06,378
All guaranteed non biodegradable
246
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,412
Haha, oops!
247
00:14:07,918 --> 00:14:08,918
Oh my god!
248
00:14:11,262 --> 00:14:12,262
Ahh!
249
00:14:19,282 --> 00:14:22,062
Listen to me sweetheart,
we don't have much time
250
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,600
After tonight you will never see me again,
ever
251
00:14:26,302 --> 00:14:28,955
This is the last chance
I've got to explain things
252
00:14:28,962 --> 00:14:30,924
To tell you about the mistakes I made
253
00:14:31,439 --> 00:14:32,879
I don't understand
254
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:37,086
IT IS REQUIRED OF EVERY MAN
255
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:42,080
THAT THE SPIRIT WITHIN HIM SHOULD
WALK ABROAD AMONG HIS FELLOW MEN
256
00:14:42,455 --> 00:14:42,908
What?
257
00:14:43,009 --> 00:14:46,820
AND IF THAT SPIRIT GOES NOT FORTH IN LIFE
258
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:50,004
IT IS CONDEMNED TO DO SO AFTER DEATH
259
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:56,000
Why are you talking like that?
260
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,850
I've absolutely no idea,
it just feels appropriate for some reason
261
00:15:00,338 --> 00:15:02,018
I know what's going on
262
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:04,431
Your late husband was Philip Marley
263
00:15:04,456 --> 00:15:06,889
So you're Jackie Marley,
Marley as in the other Marley
264
00:15:07,096 --> 00:15:07,509
Bob?
265
00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:08,411
No
266
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:09,472
Jacob
267
00:15:09,858 --> 00:15:11,218
A Christmas Carol
268
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:12,239
the book
269
00:15:12,356 --> 00:15:14,490
The stupid book that Ade gave me
270
00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:18,222
Jacob Marley tells Scrooge
to be a nicer person
271
00:15:18,233 --> 00:15:21,757
and to buy a Turkey for... Tiny Tim
who was in a wheelchair or something
272
00:15:22,019 --> 00:15:23,019
Hmm, is that it?
273
00:15:23,086 --> 00:15:24,086
Nutty family
274
00:15:26,321 --> 00:15:28,054
I'm hallucinating I'm dehydrated
275
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,461
Listen to me you silly cow
276
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:33,320
This is your last chance to change
277
00:15:33,345 --> 00:15:35,835
Just stop obsessing about
money all the time
278
00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:37,270
Coming from you?
279
00:15:37,983 --> 00:15:38,983
Okay
280
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:41,647
So I married a couple of
rich fellers after your father
281
00:15:41,652 --> 00:15:44,092
But that's what I want to talk to you about
282
00:15:44,112 --> 00:15:46,245
It doesn't matter how you got it
283
00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:47,614
You had it
284
00:15:48,101 --> 00:15:49,694
and that's what counts
285
00:15:49,754 --> 00:15:51,442
What was it you used to say
286
00:15:51,502 --> 00:15:54,402
Whoever has the most at the end,
is the winner
287
00:15:56,184 --> 00:15:58,384
Well maybe I was wrong about that
288
00:16:00,271 --> 00:16:02,003
It's not all I was wrong about
289
00:16:03,688 --> 00:16:04,308
Where you going?
290
00:16:04,402 --> 00:16:05,614
It's fine, I know the story
291
00:16:05,628 --> 00:16:06,805
I'll be visited by three ghosts
292
00:16:06,839 --> 00:16:09,804
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
293
00:16:10,229 --> 00:16:11,513
I won't be visited by three ghosts?
294
00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:13,306
Well yes,
but there's more to it than that
295
00:16:13,393 --> 00:16:14,939
Christmas past, Christmas present,
296
00:16:14,993 --> 00:16:16,273
Christmas yet to come
297
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:17,492
Urgh!
298
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,980
Stop doing that!
299
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:25,295
Caroline Mackay,
you will do as you're told
300
00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:29,438
Tonight you will receive three visitations
301
00:16:30,268 --> 00:16:31,544
Carole, wait
302
00:16:32,331 --> 00:16:33,611
You will listen to me
303
00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:35,292
I'M YOUR MOTHER
304
00:16:36,532 --> 00:16:37,532
Urgh!
305
00:17:17,835 --> 00:17:19,388
Bobbie, are you there
306
00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:21,910
Where the hell is my car?
307
00:17:22,143 --> 00:17:24,143
And why aren't you picking up?
308
00:17:28,609 --> 00:17:30,808
What am I supposed to do now Bobbie?
309
00:17:44,809 --> 00:17:46,447
I really need this cab
310
00:17:46,821 --> 00:17:47,821
So do I
311
00:17:47,828 --> 00:17:48,828
No look,
312
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:52,044
Oh I get it, you're in a wheelchair
and whatever you're
313
00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:54,916
I've got a lot of mental stuff
314
00:17:55,252 --> 00:17:57,652
To do with the stress of
me selling my company
315
00:17:57,972 --> 00:18:01,172
and I've had a really bad reaction to my
pills, so you know in a way
316
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,819
I'm disabled too
317
00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:04,966
Pre-booked
318
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,292
Sorry
319
00:18:06,624 --> 00:18:08,490
So what am I supposed to do?
320
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:09,910
Get the tube!
321
00:18:12,878 --> 00:18:14,425
You've got to be joking
322
00:18:37,169 --> 00:18:38,289
Read the room!
323
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:41,297
Merry Christmas!
324
00:19:49,559 --> 00:19:52,439
'Scuse me young sir, we're looking
for the one they call Christmas Carole
325
00:19:53,045 --> 00:19:53,885
That's me
326
00:19:53,972 --> 00:19:55,958
Told you were, he thought
you were Des O'Connor
327
00:19:56,096 --> 00:19:58,163
You're actually Eric Morecambe
328
00:19:58,167 --> 00:19:59,167
Oh yes
329
00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:00,754
And he's Ernie Wise
330
00:20:00,787 --> 00:20:03,254
Delighted to meet you, Miss Christmas
331
00:20:03,957 --> 00:20:04,837
But you're both dead
332
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:06,930
She's quick, I'll give her that
333
00:20:08,214 --> 00:20:09,220
What's happening to me?
334
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,347
She hasn't got it yet has she?
335
00:20:10,466 --> 00:20:11,466
No
336
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:12,926
I don't think she has
337
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,218
We're the ghosts of Christmas past sadly
338
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,205
Am I asleep?
339
00:20:48,632 --> 00:20:51,728
Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to the show
340
00:20:52,062 --> 00:20:54,162
Hey, she's much nicer than I
thought she'd be
341
00:20:54,189 --> 00:20:55,789
Means nothing to her,
means absolutely nothing
342
00:20:55,859 --> 00:20:57,449
I said the same thing when I first met you
343
00:20:57,463 --> 00:20:58,703
and look how that turned out
344
00:20:58,710 --> 00:20:59,990
I'm only joking!
345
00:21:00,584 --> 00:21:04,370
He's a smashing little feller
aren't you eh?
He's a smashing little feller
346
00:21:04,605 --> 00:21:05,964
His wig moved then did you see that?
347
00:21:06,005 --> 00:21:08,972
Tonight, ladies and gentlemen we shall
be performing a very special play,
348
00:21:09,052 --> 00:21:11,260
What I myself wrote,
with my very own pen
349
00:21:11,325 --> 00:21:13,450
Oh he's a great writer is Ern,
he does all his own post cards
350
00:21:13,611 --> 00:21:16,657
It's an adaptation of the Dickens classic,
A Christmas Carol
351
00:21:16,838 --> 00:21:18,638
Entitled, A Christmas Carol
352
00:21:18,805 --> 00:21:20,884
I shall be playing the
part of Ebeneerer Dickens,
353
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,561
the famous writer and skinflint
354
00:21:22,586 --> 00:21:23,296
You'll be good at that!
355
00:21:23,426 --> 00:21:25,966
It's exciting this is, I'm excited,
are you excited?
356
00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:26,823
It's Christmas
357
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:30,499
You'll be playing the part of Tiny Tim,
the little orphan boy who asks for more
358
00:21:31,046 --> 00:21:31,572
But first
359
00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:33,928
Ladies and gentlemen,
we shall be performing for you this evening
360
00:21:33,962 --> 00:21:36,906
a very special
- hold it, hold it, hold it sunshine
361
00:21:38,932 --> 00:21:40,298
Whom am I playing?
362
00:21:40,839 --> 00:21:41,852
You're not in it
363
00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:43,712
Not in it?
- No
364
00:21:43,726 --> 00:21:44,618
There's no part for you
365
00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:45,489
Did you know about this?
366
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,305
Well maybe I'm dead
367
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:47,359
I know how you feel!
368
00:21:47,571 --> 00:21:48,888
How could you not write a part for me?
369
00:21:48,902 --> 00:21:50,512
I'm your best friend!
I'm your only friend
370
00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:51,526
Sorry
371
00:21:52,172 --> 00:21:53,172
I see
372
00:21:55,125 --> 00:21:56,322
I'll just go then shall I?
373
00:21:58,005 --> 00:21:59,005
Eric, stop!
374
00:21:59,172 --> 00:22:00,479
I'm only kidding!
- Eh?
375
00:22:00,504 --> 00:22:02,388
I'm only kidding of course
there's a part for you!
376
00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:04,201
You had me fooled there!
377
00:22:04,450 --> 00:22:05,636
He's wearing his best one you know
378
00:22:05,776 --> 00:22:07,931
arrived this morning,
all the way from Axminster
379
00:22:08,192 --> 00:22:09,198
On it's own
380
00:22:10,335 --> 00:22:11,948
I used to watch you both on TV,
381
00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:13,428
every Christmas without fail,
382
00:22:13,442 --> 00:22:14,802
even the repeats!
383
00:22:17,072 --> 00:22:18,192
Until I didn't
384
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,212
Oh?
385
00:22:19,399 --> 00:22:20,399
I see
386
00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:23,193
And we're here to revisit
those Christmasses
387
00:22:23,227 --> 00:22:24,369
You said that without moving your lips
388
00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:25,235
Did you see that?
389
00:22:25,389 --> 00:22:26,762
Wait, what Christmasses?
390
00:22:26,769 --> 00:22:27,937
You're doing it now!
391
00:22:30,684 --> 00:22:33,257
The televising frightening thing for me is
392
00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:34,270
in addition
393
00:22:34,332 --> 00:22:35,172
fairly windy
394
00:22:35,204 --> 00:22:37,244
you pick on someone in the audience,
make a fun remark about them
395
00:22:37,257 --> 00:22:39,410
everybody laughs,
they're on your side
396
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:41,751
That's me!
397
00:22:41,858 --> 00:22:42,858
Behold,
398
00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:47,161
these are but shadows of the things that
have been, they have no conciousness of us
399
00:22:48,462 --> 00:22:49,622
They can't see you
400
00:22:55,612 --> 00:22:56,612
- Fine
401
00:22:56,679 --> 00:22:57,679
Go then!
402
00:22:57,847 --> 00:22:59,724
Do what you like,
I really don't care
403
00:23:10,175 --> 00:23:12,695
He's not going to sell much ice cream
going at that speed is he?
404
00:23:25,278 --> 00:23:26,278
Bye bye Ade
405
00:23:31,632 --> 00:23:33,152
Mummy's leaving now
406
00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:35,153
Where you going?
407
00:23:35,419 --> 00:23:37,045
I'm going on a bit of a holiday
408
00:23:37,065 --> 00:23:38,065
To Wales?
409
00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:41,119
Not that kind of holiday sweetheart
410
00:23:44,592 --> 00:23:47,124
Mummy loves you very much,
you know that don't you?
411
00:23:48,362 --> 00:23:49,962
Say something to her
412
00:23:51,659 --> 00:23:53,259
Say something to her!
413
00:23:54,484 --> 00:23:56,437
TV's gone off again
414
00:23:57,552 --> 00:24:01,740
That's cos it's cheap and rented,
like everything else in this house
415
00:24:02,021 --> 00:24:03,541
It's just the meter
416
00:24:04,737 --> 00:24:06,790
We need another 50p,
come and help me look
417
00:24:07,157 --> 00:24:08,157
That's Leon
418
00:24:09,129 --> 00:24:11,862
Always scrabbling around for the next 50p
419
00:24:11,982 --> 00:24:13,062
I think I've just found one
420
00:24:13,146 --> 00:24:14,146
Wha-ha-hey!
421
00:24:16,445 --> 00:24:18,045
Can I come with you?
422
00:24:21,484 --> 00:24:22,524
No sweetheart
423
00:24:26,118 --> 00:24:27,118
Why not?
424
00:24:29,849 --> 00:24:30,849
Ask yer Dad!
425
00:24:45,164 --> 00:24:50,084
♪ There may be trouble ahead ♪
426
00:24:51,930 --> 00:24:54,039
♪ But while there's moonlight ♪
427
00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:55,253
♪ And music ♪
428
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,709
♪ And love and romance ♪
429
00:25:00,342 --> 00:25:03,702
♪ Let's face the music and dance ♪
430
00:25:06,053 --> 00:25:11,820
♪ You were meant for me ♪
431
00:25:11,994 --> 00:25:13,154
Stay in the light don't stray
432
00:25:13,194 --> 00:25:18,634
♪ I was meant for you ♪
433
00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:25,409
♪ Nature fashioned you
and when she was done ♪
434
00:25:26,163 --> 00:25:31,943
♪ You're all the sweet
things rolled into one ♪
435
00:25:34,465 --> 00:25:35,465
Okay
436
00:25:36,745 --> 00:25:41,505
♪ Plaintive melody ♪
437
00:25:41,532 --> 00:25:42,745
♪ Plaintive melody♪
I just want to know
438
00:25:42,779 --> 00:25:44,512
why all this is happening?
439
00:25:46,799 --> 00:25:47,752
Hello?
440
00:25:47,785 --> 00:25:48,785
Don't you get it?
441
00:25:48,812 --> 00:25:50,612
This is how you escape that
442
00:25:50,793 --> 00:25:53,319
Only you know, with what's her name
and the other feller
443
00:25:54,353 --> 00:25:54,926
Eh?
444
00:25:54,973 --> 00:25:56,273
♪ You're adorable ♪
445
00:25:56,293 --> 00:25:58,071
♪ B ♪ ♪ You're so beautiful ♪
446
00:25:58,098 --> 00:26:01,244
♪ C ♪
♪ You're a cutie full of charm ♪
447
00:26:01,652 --> 00:26:03,606
♪ A ♪ ♪ You're adorable ♪
448
00:26:03,631 --> 00:26:05,284
♪ B ♪ ♪ You're so beautiful ♪
449
00:26:05,292 --> 00:26:07,931
♪ F ♪
♪ You're a feather in my eye ♪
450
00:26:08,052 --> 00:26:12,358
I just want to know what all this
has got to do with me selling my company
451
00:26:12,575 --> 00:26:14,255
♪ The alphabet with you ♪
452
00:26:14,508 --> 00:26:17,381
♪ But what are we going to do about him ♪
453
00:26:37,786 --> 00:26:39,466
Get that will yer Carole?
454
00:26:48,311 --> 00:26:49,884
Ho ho ho!
455
00:26:51,641 --> 00:26:53,608
Merry Christmas you muppet
456
00:26:53,635 --> 00:26:55,368
Merry Christmas you wazzag
457
00:26:55,393 --> 00:26:56,511
No need to get us a drink
458
00:26:56,544 --> 00:26:57,891
Yeah we can help ourselves
459
00:26:57,918 --> 00:26:59,298
Ooh and not forgetting
460
00:26:59,338 --> 00:27:00,884
Our contribution to the buffet
461
00:27:00,911 --> 00:27:02,464
Mi casa, you casa
462
00:27:02,671 --> 00:27:03,631
Good lad
463
00:27:03,656 --> 00:27:06,234
Hey, brought you 50p for the meter as well
464
00:27:06,275 --> 00:27:07,008
Brilliant
465
00:27:07,188 --> 00:27:08,188
50p!
466
00:27:08,824 --> 00:27:10,424
Ey come through, we're going to charades
467
00:27:11,084 --> 00:27:12,084
Hi kidder!
468
00:27:14,438 --> 00:27:16,005
They all felt sorry for me
469
00:27:16,746 --> 00:27:18,879
Hate people feeling sorry for me
470
00:27:19,376 --> 00:27:20,602
Get the phone will yer Carole
471
00:27:27,703 --> 00:27:29,503
Everyone's here like always
472
00:27:29,650 --> 00:27:31,650
Auntie Cass came from Wallasey
473
00:27:31,893 --> 00:27:32,893
With Askew
474
00:27:35,915 --> 00:27:37,355
Where are you Mum?
475
00:27:40,108 --> 00:27:41,908
She's in Malaga, with Dave
476
00:27:42,388 --> 00:27:43,388
Lucky Dave
477
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:47,539
Wish I could be there with you
478
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:51,919
Okay
479
00:27:52,792 --> 00:27:54,878
I understand, bye Mum
480
00:27:57,265 --> 00:27:58,265
- Carole?
481
00:27:58,673 --> 00:28:01,387
We've offered your Dad a job down in London
with us doing some plastering
482
00:28:01,414 --> 00:28:03,547
and he could make loads of money
483
00:28:03,921 --> 00:28:05,127
What do you think?
484
00:28:05,890 --> 00:28:07,330
Nah you're alright
485
00:28:07,783 --> 00:28:09,783
Sounds too much like hard work
486
00:28:11,186 --> 00:28:12,186
Lazy git
487
00:28:12,879 --> 00:28:13,879
Cheers
488
00:28:14,326 --> 00:28:14,832
Cheers
489
00:28:14,966 --> 00:28:15,379
- Dad!
490
00:28:15,692 --> 00:28:18,636
- Tell em Morecambe and Wise
are on the telly!
491
00:28:19,266 --> 00:28:20,946
♪ Bring me sunshine ♪
492
00:28:21,639 --> 00:28:23,365
♪ All the while ♪
493
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:34,026
Come on,
You love Morecambe and Wise don't yer?
494
00:28:37,774 --> 00:28:39,454
Well come on, after you
495
00:28:44,825 --> 00:28:48,729
Why, if it isn't little Tiny Tim
from the oldy Victorian times
496
00:28:51,052 --> 00:28:52,685
Please Sir, can I have some more
497
00:28:52,690 --> 00:28:55,183
I think you're getting Tiny Tim
mixed up with Oliver Twist
498
00:28:55,237 --> 00:28:57,863
Ssh, you'll hurt his feelings,
he's a sensitive little soul
499
00:28:58,397 --> 00:28:59,397
What are these?
500
00:28:59,871 --> 00:29:00,871
Bongos
501
00:29:01,564 --> 00:29:03,470
Just watch it, that's all
502
00:29:03,911 --> 00:29:05,357
What are these?
503
00:29:05,391 --> 00:29:06,437
They are bongos!
504
00:29:06,457 --> 00:29:08,177
Well does he know you've got them?
505
00:29:08,391 --> 00:29:10,903
Does he know you've got them,
eh, this is gold dust this is
506
00:29:11,244 --> 00:29:11,977
It's your line
507
00:29:12,019 --> 00:29:14,425
I don't understand what all
this is supposed to show me
508
00:29:14,573 --> 00:29:17,352
My mother left, my father was a loser,
I knew all that already
509
00:29:17,439 --> 00:29:18,479
That's not it
510
00:29:19,028 --> 00:29:20,693
Being poor was rubbish,
I knew that too
511
00:29:20,694 --> 00:29:22,734
You don't need to speak to
me about poverty sunshine
512
00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:23,994
We used to work at the BBC!
513
00:29:24,021 --> 00:29:25,787
Being poor drove my Mum away
514
00:29:25,854 --> 00:29:27,394
Being poor was my whole childhood
515
00:29:27,661 --> 00:29:28,760
That's not it either
516
00:29:28,768 --> 00:29:30,708
You may have been poor,
but were you happy?
517
00:29:30,742 --> 00:29:32,754
How could I have been happy
when we were so poor?
518
00:29:32,782 --> 00:29:36,168
The real question is,
how can you be unhappy when you're so rich?
519
00:29:45,582 --> 00:29:46,268
- Cold
520
00:29:46,355 --> 00:29:47,688
- Ice
- Christmas?
521
00:29:47,715 --> 00:29:48,535
- Snowman?
- Sing
522
00:29:48,602 --> 00:29:49,455
- Song
- Singing in the rain
523
00:29:49,675 --> 00:29:51,281
Waah, waah
524
00:29:52,174 --> 00:29:53,294
Ice, ice, baby
525
00:29:53,334 --> 00:29:54,334
Frozen
526
00:29:55,954 --> 00:29:58,960
Baby, it's cold outside
527
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,480
It's obvious
528
00:30:01,018 --> 00:30:02,844
Awwwwww
529
00:30:03,912 --> 00:30:06,112
Has anyone got 50p for the meter?
530
00:30:10,998 --> 00:30:11,998
Thanks
531
00:30:13,977 --> 00:30:15,017
Unbelievable!
532
00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:16,873
Baby, cold
533
00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:23,146
Hey!
534
00:30:30,818 --> 00:30:33,271
This is when I left home,
started my own business
535
00:30:33,311 --> 00:30:34,604
Mail order stocking fillers
536
00:30:34,618 --> 00:30:36,618
Erns got two of those,
they're short fat and hairy!
537
00:30:37,704 --> 00:30:39,063
I'm going down to London
538
00:30:39,250 --> 00:30:40,516
I've got friends there
539
00:30:40,550 --> 00:30:42,383
- What do you mean "friends"?
Carole!
540
00:30:42,858 --> 00:30:43,858
Carole!
541
00:30:43,895 --> 00:30:45,362
Can they afford to put you up can they?
542
00:30:45,382 --> 00:30:46,382
Can you?
543
00:30:46,442 --> 00:30:48,022
What do you think I've been
doing all these years?
544
00:30:48,062 --> 00:30:50,208
Fishing with his mates and
watching telly mostly!
545
00:30:50,269 --> 00:30:52,442
I fed yer, I clothed yer
546
00:30:53,131 --> 00:30:54,537
You've never wanted for anything
547
00:30:54,624 --> 00:30:55,624
Ha!
- Ha!
548
00:30:55,918 --> 00:30:56,924
We had holidays
549
00:30:56,991 --> 00:30:57,931
One week in Anglesey
550
00:30:57,964 --> 00:30:59,797
Every single year!
551
00:31:00,371 --> 00:31:01,617
I thought you liked Anglesey
552
00:31:01,651 --> 00:31:02,651
I hated it
553
00:31:03,431 --> 00:31:04,791
I hate this house
554
00:31:05,058 --> 00:31:06,338
I hate this life
555
00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:10,244
I could have been with Mum in a
massive house in Spain with a pool
556
00:31:11,204 --> 00:31:13,970
But you had to keep us here with you,
just to spite her
557
00:31:14,403 --> 00:31:16,969
Because you couldn't bear to see her win
558
00:31:18,070 --> 00:31:19,110
I did my best
559
00:31:19,230 --> 00:31:20,622
Maybe your best isn't enough
560
00:31:20,636 --> 00:31:21,636
It weren't enough for Mum
561
00:31:21,723 --> 00:31:22,723
Fine
562
00:31:22,811 --> 00:31:25,564
Do what you like Carole,
I don't really care
563
00:31:32,365 --> 00:31:33,645
What's going on?
564
00:31:35,358 --> 00:31:36,718
She's leaving son
565
00:31:38,085 --> 00:31:39,085
Carole?
566
00:31:40,545 --> 00:31:41,545
Bye Ade
567
00:32:10,101 --> 00:32:13,419
Ladies and gentlemen that's the end of our
show, I'd like to thank our very special guest
568
00:32:13,486 --> 00:32:15,166
- Miss Carole Christmas!
569
00:32:15,366 --> 00:32:17,039
Have you had a nice time?
- Not really!
570
00:32:17,786 --> 00:32:18,663
She doesn't look happy Ern
571
00:32:18,683 --> 00:32:19,763
She must have seen her fee!
572
00:32:19,796 --> 00:32:22,048
We thought you'd like seeing
your Christmasses past!
573
00:32:22,116 --> 00:32:24,135
You showed me all the wrong Christmasses!
574
00:32:26,399 --> 00:32:28,219
We showed you all the right Christmasses
575
00:32:28,287 --> 00:32:30,887
But not necessarily,
in the right order
576
00:32:31,394 --> 00:32:33,234
I'll give you that sunshine,
I'll give you that
577
00:32:33,443 --> 00:32:35,809
Ooh, we're off now,
you have to go that way
578
00:32:36,094 --> 00:32:37,133
Where will you go?
579
00:32:37,207 --> 00:32:39,373
To join all the other ghosts
of light entertainment
580
00:32:39,427 --> 00:32:42,226
You don't mean, ITV?
581
00:32:56,972 --> 00:32:59,039
They usually open by themselves
582
00:33:06,118 --> 00:33:07,318
What day is it?
583
00:33:08,124 --> 00:33:09,644
It's Christmas Eve!
584
00:33:11,664 --> 00:33:13,424
In 2022?
585
00:33:15,392 --> 00:33:16,392
Yeah
586
00:33:30,021 --> 00:33:32,207
- Hey there she is, the genius
587
00:33:32,414 --> 00:33:34,095
Miss Christmas Carole herself, the O.G.
588
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,182
Hashtag original girl boss
589
00:33:36,633 --> 00:33:37,633
Asok Kumar
590
00:33:37,647 --> 00:33:41,246
Barry Sage, can I just say everyone at Limpopo
is so psyched by this new deal right now
591
00:33:41,866 --> 00:33:42,578
We're super excited
592
00:33:42,586 --> 00:33:43,700
You must be stoked for it too
593
00:33:43,725 --> 00:33:45,524
You look pumped man,
are you pumped huh?
594
00:33:45,552 --> 00:33:46,844
Actually I've got a bit of a headache
595
00:33:46,905 --> 00:33:47,831
You want some Xanax?
596
00:33:47,885 --> 00:33:49,498
Can we get Carole some Xanax over here?
597
00:33:49,512 --> 00:33:51,658
Oh no no, I'm fine
598
00:33:51,703 --> 00:33:53,736
Hey look, if it's about the
livestream don't worry
599
00:33:53,770 --> 00:33:54,562
It's a walk in the park
600
00:33:54,587 --> 00:33:58,802
We'll lead, tell everyone how excited we are,
give them the data, KPis, EBITDA all that jazz
601
00:33:58,843 --> 00:34:00,622
Then we bring you up and you do your thing
602
00:34:00,652 --> 00:34:01,202
Right
603
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,960
Aah, do you know what you're gonna say?
604
00:34:02,977 --> 00:34:04,657
I was going to talk about
605
00:34:05,101 --> 00:34:06,714
How I came up with the idea for the company
606
00:34:06,721 --> 00:34:07,874
Brilliant
- We love that
607
00:34:07,881 --> 00:34:10,440
But here's something our legal and
media teams have just thrown together
608
00:34:10,461 --> 00:34:11,547
It's pretty much what you said
609
00:34:11,594 --> 00:34:14,800
With specific focus on
rebranding and sustainability
610
00:34:14,821 --> 00:34:16,944
Yeah, sustainability is important,
so number one priority
611
00:34:16,964 --> 00:34:18,504
Number one BS priority
612
00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:21,170
Our customers just want to know they're
doing the right thing by the planet
613
00:34:21,198 --> 00:34:22,944
so we tell them "Sure, why not"
614
00:34:23,011 --> 00:34:26,633
Yeah, you're buying millions of tonnes of non-degradable
plastic and packaging from us every year,
615
00:34:26,634 --> 00:34:28,440
of course you're saving the planet dillweed
616
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,107
By the way can I tell you,
we loved your Christmas antlers
617
00:34:31,141 --> 00:34:34,407
Helped the business model right there,
30 cents to produce then we sell for $10
618
00:34:34,415 --> 00:34:39,386
And everyone has to make multiple purchases because the
damned things disintegrate faster than my last marriage
619
00:34:41,132 --> 00:34:42,784
What about my employees?
620
00:34:44,269 --> 00:34:45,269
Oh well errm
621
00:34:45,723 --> 00:34:49,015
Of course, those guys are
going to lose their jobs
622
00:34:49,983 --> 00:34:50,983
All of them?
623
00:34:51,776 --> 00:34:53,315
We're innovators Carole
624
00:34:53,408 --> 00:34:57,188
Every successful innovation leaves some
people behind, that's just how it is
625
00:34:57,195 --> 00:34:59,068
The rules are the same for everybody Carole
626
00:34:59,128 --> 00:35:03,808
If you're not making the millions, it's because you're too
dumb or too lazy to take the opportunities presented to you
627
00:35:04,078 --> 00:35:05,078
Am I right?
628
00:35:05,631 --> 00:35:10,862
Oh I almost forgot, this was couriered to
my assistant from someone called Bobbie?
629
00:35:11,134 --> 00:35:12,481
Oh thank god
630
00:35:16,767 --> 00:35:17,767
Thank you
631
00:35:18,094 --> 00:35:19,094
Thank you
632
00:35:22,221 --> 00:35:23,440
Ohh Bobbie
633
00:35:28,401 --> 00:35:29,401
Excuse me
634
00:35:29,654 --> 00:35:30,774
I just thought
635
00:35:32,748 --> 00:35:33,748
Is she ok?
636
00:36:21,795 --> 00:36:22,795
Hello?
637
00:36:24,548 --> 00:36:26,575
I'd give it 5 minutes if I were you
638
00:36:26,682 --> 00:36:27,682
Joking
639
00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:29,148
I was just cleaning it
640
00:36:29,243 --> 00:36:31,042
Actually I wasn't even cleaning it
641
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,923
I was just waiting for you
642
00:36:33,063 --> 00:36:33,895
Wait aren't you
643
00:36:33,909 --> 00:36:36,429
Yes I am!
Yes and I have done a bit of acting
644
00:36:36,459 --> 00:36:38,152
So this is a piece of cake
645
00:36:38,273 --> 00:36:39,779
Little clue for you there
646
00:36:39,826 --> 00:36:40,826
Cake!
647
00:36:41,586 --> 00:36:44,611
You a bit nervous about meeting
a supernatural being?
648
00:36:45,216 --> 00:36:46,576
A supernatural...
649
00:36:49,096 --> 00:36:49,817
So you're the
650
00:36:49,864 --> 00:36:51,390
Mmm, mmm, Spirit of Christmas
651
00:36:51,471 --> 00:36:53,951
Ghost of Christmas present,
whatever
652
00:36:54,099 --> 00:36:57,178
Not Christmas presents,
or in your case
653
00:36:57,452 --> 00:36:59,855
Christmas things that
go straight in the bin
654
00:36:59,962 --> 00:37:01,642
That was another joke
655
00:37:02,213 --> 00:37:03,573
No but you're not
656
00:37:04,420 --> 00:37:06,346
Morecombe and Wise are dead in real life
657
00:37:06,486 --> 00:37:09,932
Believe you me,
I have died many, many times
658
00:37:10,074 --> 00:37:11,420
On my arse
659
00:37:11,460 --> 00:37:12,580
Yes, thank you
660
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,647
Alright, are you ready
for your next journey?
661
00:37:14,714 --> 00:37:16,727
I was actually about to
do a big presentation
662
00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:18,174
It wasn't really a question
663
00:37:18,494 --> 00:37:19,307
Right
664
00:37:19,380 --> 00:37:22,627
Take my hand,
and you will be magically transported
665
00:37:29,074 --> 00:37:31,140
You said magically transported!
666
00:37:31,327 --> 00:37:32,873
What are we doing on these things?
667
00:37:33,007 --> 00:37:35,646
Fun aren't they!
And great for the planet
668
00:37:36,135 --> 00:37:38,068
I thought we'd be flying or something
669
00:37:38,102 --> 00:37:39,968
Oh just look at the snow man
670
00:38:03,018 --> 00:38:05,418
Christmas spirit, brilliant isn't it
671
00:38:06,857 --> 00:38:08,857
I could have nearly killed you
672
00:38:09,067 --> 00:38:10,660
- Oh I know you could have killed me
673
00:38:14,655 --> 00:38:16,335
What's wrong with yer?
674
00:38:21,894 --> 00:38:23,574
Doesn't work on everyone
675
00:38:26,772 --> 00:38:28,452
Where are you taking me?
676
00:38:29,939 --> 00:38:31,139
Everyone ready?
677
00:38:31,899 --> 00:38:33,176
Pani puri!
678
00:38:33,783 --> 00:38:35,449
Children? Pani puri
679
00:38:35,530 --> 00:38:36,396
Everyone
680
00:38:36,503 --> 00:38:37,943
Where is the chat?
681
00:38:39,566 --> 00:38:40,372
I'll get it
682
00:38:40,519 --> 00:38:41,925
Having a tough time of it are we?
683
00:38:42,453 --> 00:38:44,133
You stay relaxed yeah?
684
00:38:44,892 --> 00:38:47,848
Behold!
You should know that these are but shadows
685
00:38:47,869 --> 00:38:49,669
They can't see us, I get it
686
00:38:49,809 --> 00:38:50,809
Rude!
687
00:38:51,343 --> 00:38:52,430
Tell your uncle to help
688
00:38:52,470 --> 00:38:54,123
Help uncle!
689
00:38:54,283 --> 00:38:59,188
I refuse to participate in a festival that has nothing
to do with our proud Sikh culture or identity
690
00:38:59,734 --> 00:39:01,280
Who are these people anyway?
691
00:39:04,034 --> 00:39:05,034
Oh, I see
692
00:39:09,381 --> 00:39:10,427
Hey family
693
00:39:10,981 --> 00:39:11,981
Ah Beti!
694
00:39:12,054 --> 00:39:12,740
Mum!
695
00:39:12,774 --> 00:39:14,180
Hi mummy!
696
00:39:14,401 --> 00:39:15,613
So she gave you the night off then?
697
00:39:15,647 --> 00:39:17,239
Ah, not exactly
698
00:39:18,590 --> 00:39:19,437
She fired me
699
00:39:19,584 --> 00:39:20,010
What?
700
00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:22,190
Who does that on Christmas Eve?
701
00:39:23,217 --> 00:39:24,101
It's fine
702
00:39:24,168 --> 00:39:25,681
- Some friend she turned out to be
703
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,400
after all the stuff you done for her
704
00:39:28,275 --> 00:39:30,041
You can't afford to get fired beta!
705
00:39:30,391 --> 00:39:32,858
How are you going to pay the bills?
How are we going to pay for all of this?
706
00:39:32,891 --> 00:39:35,758
She was going to get fired
anyway when Limpopo take over
707
00:39:36,265 --> 00:39:37,691
Honestly Mum we'll be fine
708
00:39:38,790 --> 00:39:41,849
Anyway it means we can all
spend Christmas together hey?
709
00:39:42,643 --> 00:39:44,471
Right, now who wants chocolate and a movie?
710
00:39:44,484 --> 00:39:45,484
Me
- Me
711
00:39:47,824 --> 00:39:49,638
Can we watch The Grinch?
712
00:39:49,685 --> 00:39:51,051
I was watching Game of Thrones!
713
00:39:51,071 --> 00:39:52,324
Jas it's Christmas
714
00:39:52,618 --> 00:39:53,618
He's sulking
715
00:39:54,018 --> 00:39:56,017
We're Sikhs, we don't
even believe in Christmas
716
00:39:56,039 --> 00:39:57,279
He's a bit bah humbug isn't he?
717
00:39:57,463 --> 00:40:00,407
Right, mummy needs a glass
of Christmas spirit
718
00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:05,794
So, starting to get the picture?
719
00:40:05,821 --> 00:40:06,821
Sssh!
720
00:40:07,695 --> 00:40:10,141
Meena, Tiny, go and put
your peejays on first
721
00:40:10,181 --> 00:40:11,334
Yes mummy
722
00:40:11,401 --> 00:40:13,954
He's called Tiny, Tiny
Singh as in Tiny Tim?
723
00:40:15,055 --> 00:40:16,055
Yes, but
724
00:40:16,912 --> 00:40:17,912
He's sick isn't he?
725
00:40:17,925 --> 00:40:19,391
No, don't think so
726
00:40:19,505 --> 00:40:22,091
Some kind of unseen
condition, something genetic?
727
00:40:22,112 --> 00:40:25,578
Oh my god, he's going to die,
they can't afford to pay for his treatment
728
00:40:25,592 --> 00:40:26,022
No
729
00:40:26,042 --> 00:40:28,668
I suppose that's my fault is it?
Is it?
730
00:40:29,655 --> 00:40:31,335
No I can't deal with this
731
00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:35,603
Look, I keep telling you there's
nothing wrong with him
732
00:40:35,897 --> 00:40:37,897
You're missing the whole point
733
00:40:38,489 --> 00:40:39,849
Oh for god's sake
734
00:40:55,734 --> 00:40:56,780
- It's a wonderful life!
735
00:40:56,841 --> 00:40:57,841
- Yes! Rita!
736
00:40:57,954 --> 00:40:58,954
Oh no
737
00:40:59,381 --> 00:41:01,820
Knew I could rely on
you, I knew you'd get it
738
00:41:01,827 --> 00:41:04,227
No I said four, you're not listening
739
00:41:05,493 --> 00:41:07,960
Welcome to another recycled Christmas
740
00:41:09,344 --> 00:41:10,544
- A movie
- Film
741
00:41:10,950 --> 00:41:11,950
- One word
742
00:41:12,024 --> 00:41:13,370
I love charades, don't you?
743
00:41:13,377 --> 00:41:14,377
Err no
744
00:41:14,963 --> 00:41:18,182
It's literally the only game
anyone plays at Christmas
745
00:41:18,235 --> 00:41:19,435
That's why I like it
- Gremlins
746
00:41:19,476 --> 00:41:20,056
Frozen!
747
00:41:20,403 --> 00:41:21,403
Goonies!
748
00:41:21,669 --> 00:41:23,349
Is it the whole thing?
- Frozen
749
00:41:26,561 --> 00:41:28,553
The unbearable likeness of being!
750
00:41:29,247 --> 00:41:30,247
What?
- What?
751
00:41:31,674 --> 00:41:32,674
One word
752
00:41:35,183 --> 00:41:35,809
- Frozen
753
00:41:36,015 --> 00:41:38,242
Will you stop saying Frozen?
- Frozen Two!
754
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,329
Frozen Three!
755
00:41:39,443 --> 00:41:40,443
- Dork!
756
00:41:41,276 --> 00:41:43,269
- Ear, ear library
757
00:41:43,742 --> 00:41:44,742
Ear library?
758
00:41:46,375 --> 00:41:47,688
Is it an audio book?
759
00:41:48,222 --> 00:41:48,768
Harry Potter
760
00:41:48,775 --> 00:41:51,408
Oh for pete's sake it's Elf!
Elf!
761
00:41:51,548 --> 00:41:52,548
What?
762
00:41:52,714 --> 00:41:56,427
Movie, one word, sounds like shelf.
Elf!
763
00:41:57,628 --> 00:41:58,628
Elf!
764
00:41:58,674 --> 00:41:59,674
Thank you
765
00:42:01,304 --> 00:42:05,205
- Well done Sally, you're like your aunty
Carole, she was always good at charades
766
00:42:05,499 --> 00:42:07,185
Yeah but she never comes over at Christmas
767
00:42:07,252 --> 00:42:08,792
I mean does she even love us?
768
00:42:09,252 --> 00:42:11,431
Your aunty Carole doesn't
believe in Christmas
769
00:42:11,871 --> 00:42:13,624
Only thing she loves is money
770
00:42:13,978 --> 00:42:16,277
Oh she's right posh now she's got money
771
00:42:16,291 --> 00:42:18,958
- Selling piles and piles of plastic tat
772
00:42:19,398 --> 00:42:21,078
Pound shop Cruella de Vil
773
00:42:23,045 --> 00:42:25,865
Course she loves us Sammy,
she's just, she's
774
00:42:26,801 --> 00:42:29,427
very unhappy and that gets in the way
775
00:42:41,354 --> 00:42:42,814
Come and join the party Dad
776
00:42:42,854 --> 00:42:44,700
Yeah, in a bit
777
00:42:45,167 --> 00:42:46,647
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
778
00:42:51,914 --> 00:42:53,860
Did you err, see our Carole?
779
00:42:55,674 --> 00:42:56,674
Yeah
780
00:42:58,949 --> 00:42:59,949
How was she?
781
00:43:00,135 --> 00:43:01,135
Err fine
782
00:43:01,229 --> 00:43:02,682
- Good, yeah you know
783
00:43:03,515 --> 00:43:04,548
No thanks to you
784
00:43:05,728 --> 00:43:06,728
I can imagine
785
00:43:07,282 --> 00:43:08,402
Ok, time to go
786
00:43:08,592 --> 00:43:09,592
Not yet
787
00:43:09,775 --> 00:43:10,942
Please can we just go
788
00:43:10,949 --> 00:43:14,202
No, you need to hear what he's about to say
789
00:43:15,362 --> 00:43:16,402
Give it to me
790
00:43:35,129 --> 00:43:36,862
It's Christmas Eve, right?
791
00:43:39,954 --> 00:43:41,420
In 2022?
792
00:43:49,851 --> 00:43:51,584
I'd give that five minutes
793
00:44:18,783 --> 00:44:20,869
Are you enjoying it, are you enjoying this?
794
00:44:26,223 --> 00:44:27,429
You don't need that
795
00:44:28,142 --> 00:44:29,142
or that
796
00:44:29,409 --> 00:44:31,142
You certainly don't need that
797
00:44:32,439 --> 00:44:36,645
Don't you understand, you don't need it,
none of us do
798
00:44:37,459 --> 00:44:42,259
It's all a load of crap,
it's all a load of crap!
799
00:44:43,726 --> 00:44:44,726
Hi
800
00:44:47,377 --> 00:44:49,177
Are you the ghost of Christmas yet to come?
801
00:44:49,617 --> 00:44:52,097
I think I know what it is
you've been trying to tell me
802
00:45:01,483 --> 00:45:02,483
Not a ghost
803
00:45:05,615 --> 00:45:06,615
I'll just
804
00:45:07,362 --> 00:45:09,042
No, you don't understand
805
00:45:17,768 --> 00:45:20,035
Ooh, come on, come on
806
00:45:26,330 --> 00:45:27,330
- Stop, hey
807
00:45:28,489 --> 00:45:29,690
- Come back
808
00:45:37,041 --> 00:45:38,041
Go go go!
809
00:45:39,774 --> 00:45:40,774
Go!
810
00:45:41,554 --> 00:45:42,594
- Drive, now!
811
00:45:43,027 --> 00:45:45,574
Never seen a driverless car before?
812
00:45:45,647 --> 00:45:48,547
Relax, they're not going
to be bothering you
813
00:45:51,641 --> 00:45:52,641
What the?
814
00:45:55,868 --> 00:45:56,868
Good innit?
815
00:45:57,316 --> 00:46:00,772
Time has stood still, only
you and I can move forwards
816
00:46:00,988 --> 00:46:03,360
Forwards, into the future
817
00:46:04,161 --> 00:46:05,254
Oh so you're the
818
00:46:05,261 --> 00:46:08,340
That's right,
I'm the ghost of Christmas yet to come
819
00:46:09,643 --> 00:46:11,336
See you've had your
ghosts of Christmas past
820
00:46:11,337 --> 00:46:13,863
and they were very much
from the actual past
821
00:46:13,870 --> 00:46:14,249
Right
822
00:46:14,483 --> 00:46:17,684
Then you had your ghost of Christmas
present, that's your household name now
823
00:46:17,711 --> 00:46:18,404
Yes
824
00:46:18,431 --> 00:46:22,236
See I'm like the next generation of star,
someone on upward ascent
825
00:46:22,250 --> 00:46:25,951
Maybe get my own show, my own standup
special, maybe host some Baftas
826
00:46:26,298 --> 00:46:29,539
What I'm saying is, I'm a
national treasure, of the future
827
00:46:29,632 --> 00:46:33,289
Yes, yes I get it, it's just it's fine,
you don't have to do your bit
828
00:46:33,777 --> 00:46:34,429
What do you mean?
829
00:46:34,463 --> 00:46:36,343
I've already had my epihany
830
00:46:36,767 --> 00:46:41,214
You know, the bit where I realise where
I've gone wrong, what I need to change
831
00:46:41,938 --> 00:46:45,685
Well done by the way, it was the
reindeer antlers that finally did it
832
00:46:47,765 --> 00:46:50,171
Look I had nothing, for so long
833
00:46:50,477 --> 00:46:52,810
So I thought money was the answer, so
834
00:46:52,930 --> 00:46:55,322
I wanted more and more,
so I sold more and more
835
00:46:55,329 --> 00:46:58,824
Getting people to bury their unhappiness
under a mountain of throwaway tat
836
00:46:58,838 --> 00:47:03,424
So I built this empire of continuous
consumption and it just isn't sustainable
837
00:47:04,917 --> 00:47:06,277
Nah it's not that
838
00:47:06,364 --> 00:47:08,084
You're going to have to dig a little deeper
839
00:47:35,067 --> 00:47:37,934
- The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want
840
00:47:38,954 --> 00:47:41,667
- He maketh me to lie
down in green pastures
841
00:47:42,394 --> 00:47:44,994
- He leadeth me beside the still waters
842
00:47:45,667 --> 00:47:47,347
- He restoreth my soul
843
00:47:48,127 --> 00:47:51,473
- He leadeth me in the paths of
righteousness for his name's sake
844
00:47:51,787 --> 00:47:52,907
It's a funeral
845
00:47:52,946 --> 00:47:55,946
- Yea, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death
846
00:47:55,947 --> 00:47:57,059
Who's funeral?
847
00:47:59,893 --> 00:48:01,573
Can you not just tell me?
848
00:48:07,639 --> 00:48:10,145
Oh my god, it's Tiny Singh
849
00:48:10,379 --> 00:48:12,165
It is isn't it, it's Tiny Singh's funeral
850
00:48:12,192 --> 00:48:13,705
It's not Tiny Singh!
851
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:15,879
No he's had that condition
and everything with his leg
852
00:48:15,905 --> 00:48:18,152
He wasn't ill!
How many times!
853
00:48:18,153 --> 00:48:18,737
Yes but
854
00:48:18,784 --> 00:48:20,477
Just go over there and look
855
00:48:21,692 --> 00:48:25,898
- Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies
856
00:48:26,765 --> 00:48:29,145
Thou anointest my head with oil
857
00:48:29,711 --> 00:48:31,917
- My cup runneth over
858
00:48:33,037 --> 00:48:37,427
- Surely goodness and mercy shall
follow me all the days of my life
859
00:48:38,461 --> 00:48:40,033
No Carole?
860
00:48:40,041 --> 00:48:41,041
No
861
00:48:42,838 --> 00:48:43,958
That's a shame
862
00:48:45,285 --> 00:48:46,725
You coming back to the house though?
863
00:48:46,918 --> 00:48:48,964
Course, give him a proper sendoff
864
00:48:48,971 --> 00:48:49,971
Yeah
865
00:48:51,532 --> 00:48:52,532
Please
866
00:48:54,045 --> 00:48:56,306
- Right come on lad,
we'll see you back at the house later
867
00:48:56,326 --> 00:48:57,846
- Thanks for coming
868
00:48:58,007 --> 00:48:59,007
- Means a lot
869
00:49:00,460 --> 00:49:01,913
- Gonna miss him
870
00:49:23,613 --> 00:49:24,613
Time to go?
871
00:49:25,153 --> 00:49:27,522
Not yet,
there's something else you need to hear
872
00:49:29,688 --> 00:49:30,368
You coming?
873
00:49:30,428 --> 00:49:34,255
No I'll wait in the car, but don't take too
long, you need to be back here in ten minutes
874
00:49:34,675 --> 00:49:35,415
Why?
875
00:49:35,462 --> 00:49:39,419
If you don't leave here with me,
you'll get stuck in this reality foever
876
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,547
You will never be able to go back
877
00:50:00,909 --> 00:50:04,173
Can we have a look at
granddad's old fishing stuff?
878
00:50:04,648 --> 00:50:06,088
- Finders keepers!
879
00:50:25,839 --> 00:50:26,879
- It's a great sendoff
880
00:50:27,091 --> 00:50:28,611
- Beautiful sendoff
881
00:50:28,911 --> 00:50:30,637
- He'd have loved it
- He would that
882
00:50:32,125 --> 00:50:33,125
Cheers pal
883
00:50:33,585 --> 00:50:34,585
Cheers pal
884
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:50,080
- All the best mate
885
00:50:52,729 --> 00:50:53,729
You know,
886
00:50:54,102 --> 00:50:57,255
he always used to say he
only ever loved two women
887
00:50:57,862 --> 00:50:59,068
And they both left him
888
00:50:59,129 --> 00:51:00,129
What?
889
00:51:00,209 --> 00:51:02,475
Biggest regret of his life he said
890
00:51:03,190 --> 00:51:04,190
But..
891
00:51:05,184 --> 00:51:06,184
Yeah
892
00:51:19,828 --> 00:51:20,828
Bloody hell
893
00:51:38,265 --> 00:51:40,458
What we going to do with all this stuff?
894
00:51:42,838 --> 00:51:43,838
- Hey Ade
895
00:51:44,552 --> 00:51:45,952
He was ever so proud of her
896
00:51:46,918 --> 00:51:51,144
Always going on about how well she was
doing, our Carole this, our Carole that
897
00:51:51,605 --> 00:51:54,259
I don't think he ever got over her leaving
898
00:51:57,658 --> 00:52:00,505
Y'know, you and Carole meant
everything to him you know
899
00:52:00,758 --> 00:52:04,255
He could have come down to London with us when
we were doing up houses for yuppies in the city
900
00:52:04,276 --> 00:52:05,942
This were back in the eighties
901
00:52:06,043 --> 00:52:08,200
Plasterers could make
loads of money back then
902
00:52:08,554 --> 00:52:10,787
But, he wanted to be here for you both
903
00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:12,340
Said you needed security
904
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:13,900
That's why he was always so skint
905
00:52:14,607 --> 00:52:17,280
And you thought it was cos he
was a lazy bugger didn't you
906
00:52:17,297 --> 00:52:18,450
No
907
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,510
Yeah!
908
00:52:19,977 --> 00:52:24,343
Carole was just so angry,
I wish she could have forgiven him
909
00:52:24,417 --> 00:52:25,417
For what?
910
00:52:26,146 --> 00:52:29,466
For not letting Mum take us with her when
she left, for making us stay here with him
911
00:52:29,539 --> 00:52:32,073
She thought he did it out of spite but
912
00:52:35,459 --> 00:52:36,838
Didn't he tell you?
913
00:52:36,912 --> 00:52:38,779
Tell us what?
- Tell us what?
914
00:52:39,132 --> 00:52:40,958
She never contested custody
915
00:52:42,559 --> 00:52:43,559
What?
- What?
916
00:52:45,386 --> 00:52:46,826
Why didn't he tell us that?
917
00:52:47,006 --> 00:52:49,045
He didn't want you
thinking badly of yer mam
918
00:52:56,217 --> 00:52:57,577
See yer back then
919
00:53:00,304 --> 00:53:01,304
- Put that down
920
00:53:01,457 --> 00:53:02,457
- Or what?
921
00:53:02,811 --> 00:53:04,223
- What are you going to do Leon?
922
00:53:04,237 --> 00:53:05,683
- I just don't know what you want Jackie
923
00:53:05,710 --> 00:53:08,130
- Oh I don't know,
I don't know what I want
924
00:53:08,415 --> 00:53:11,302
- But this can't be it, get married,
have kids, the end!
925
00:53:11,355 --> 00:53:14,505
I'm nearly thirty!
I've lived here my whole life!
926
00:53:15,285 --> 00:53:17,862
Look at me!
I'm not going to look like this forever
927
00:53:18,676 --> 00:53:20,602
I've got to get out while I still can
928
00:53:22,889 --> 00:53:24,169
I want more Leon
929
00:53:24,868 --> 00:53:28,154
More than this house, this town, this life
930
00:53:28,181 --> 00:53:29,104
I like this life
931
00:53:29,118 --> 00:53:31,077
Well it's not good enough for me
932
00:53:31,151 --> 00:53:32,151
I'm leaving
933
00:53:32,836 --> 00:53:34,643
I'm taking the car but
you can keep the rest
934
00:53:34,657 --> 00:53:35,657
The rest?
935
00:53:35,696 --> 00:53:37,696
What, you mean Carole and Ade?
936
00:53:37,716 --> 00:53:39,102
Eh? God!
937
00:53:39,509 --> 00:53:40,929
Who's gonna look after them?
938
00:53:40,966 --> 00:53:42,299
I don't know Leon, you?
939
00:53:42,333 --> 00:53:42,925
You're their Mother!
940
00:53:42,950 --> 00:53:45,256
Yeah you're their Father,
why did it have to be me?
941
00:53:45,530 --> 00:53:47,129
You'll do a better job of it anyway
942
00:53:47,143 --> 00:53:48,176
What am I supposed to tell 'em?
943
00:53:48,210 --> 00:53:51,036
I don't know, tell them I've run off
with the milkman, whatever you want
944
00:53:51,050 --> 00:53:52,090
Don't do this
945
00:53:53,643 --> 00:53:54,856
- Get out of my way Leon
946
00:53:54,877 --> 00:53:55,877
- Please
947
00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:58,549
- Please don't, I'm begging you
948
00:53:59,243 --> 00:54:01,956
- Don't go Jackie, I love you
949
00:54:03,660 --> 00:54:04,660
Sorry
950
00:54:05,807 --> 00:54:06,807
Fine
951
00:54:06,940 --> 00:54:10,193
- Go then, do what you like,
I really don't care
952
00:54:19,671 --> 00:54:20,671
Mum?
953
00:54:26,019 --> 00:54:27,459
- Where you going?
954
00:54:27,526 --> 00:54:29,345
I'm going on a bit of a holiday
955
00:54:29,392 --> 00:54:30,392
To Wales?
956
00:54:30,412 --> 00:54:32,459
Not that kind of holiday sweetheart
957
00:54:33,079 --> 00:54:34,679
Can I come with you?
958
00:54:35,077 --> 00:54:36,117
No sweetheart
959
00:54:38,855 --> 00:54:39,855
- Why not?
960
00:54:39,882 --> 00:54:41,002
- Ask yer Dad!
961
00:54:45,261 --> 00:54:48,727
He was always afraid that if you knew what
had really happened you'd have hated her
962
00:54:49,007 --> 00:54:50,133
He couldn't bear that
963
00:54:50,158 --> 00:54:51,518
He thought better if you hated him
964
00:54:51,557 --> 00:54:53,176
Just stop saying that, you
don't know anything about it
965
00:54:53,190 --> 00:54:56,196
Carole always blamed him
for Mum walking out
966
00:54:56,217 --> 00:54:56,703
Ade
967
00:54:56,744 --> 00:54:59,743
Well you can say what you like about Leon,
he could always keep a secret
968
00:55:00,290 --> 00:55:01,490
Even to the end
969
00:55:01,750 --> 00:55:04,910
- I think we all knew that that Christmas
was going to be his last
970
00:55:05,190 --> 00:55:08,310
He sent us down to London to try and get
Carole to come up for Christmas dinner
971
00:55:09,230 --> 00:55:10,970
She never even knew he was dying
972
00:55:26,542 --> 00:55:28,028
What took you so long?
973
00:55:30,742 --> 00:55:32,476
So how you feeling anyway?
974
00:55:33,003 --> 00:55:34,663
Great, I mean if
975
00:55:35,210 --> 00:55:37,898
If I didn't know I wouldn't know,
if you know what I mean
976
00:55:37,932 --> 00:55:38,932
- Yeah
977
00:55:46,790 --> 00:55:48,863
I don't think she's coming Dad
978
00:55:51,630 --> 00:55:53,256
Why didn't you let me tell her?
979
00:55:54,909 --> 00:55:57,049
I didn't want her to feel sorry for me
980
00:56:00,683 --> 00:56:01,683
- Yeah
981
00:56:03,986 --> 00:56:07,318
- Not to worry, eh,
there'll be other Christmasses
982
00:56:07,459 --> 00:56:08,459
Yeah
983
00:56:09,894 --> 00:56:10,894
Come on
984
00:56:11,414 --> 00:56:13,147
Let's play some more charades
985
00:56:14,474 --> 00:56:17,587
Ok I understand,
I understand it all
986
00:56:17,607 --> 00:56:18,947
It's too late
987
00:56:18,972 --> 00:56:20,705
No, what do you mean it's too late?
988
00:56:26,512 --> 00:56:27,705
Carole? You made it
989
00:56:29,105 --> 00:56:29,798
You can see me?
990
00:56:29,845 --> 00:56:31,478
Of course I can, I'm not that far gone!
991
00:56:32,617 --> 00:56:33,570
Look who's here!
992
00:56:33,591 --> 00:56:35,337
- Carole love, give us a cuddle
993
00:56:35,431 --> 00:56:36,991
No, no, no, no
- So sorry about your Did
994
00:56:39,084 --> 00:56:40,124
I've gotta go
995
00:56:40,491 --> 00:56:41,310
I've gotta go
996
00:56:41,344 --> 00:56:43,117
- Carole!
- Great to see you Carole
997
00:56:50,255 --> 00:56:51,255
Wait!
998
00:56:51,468 --> 00:56:52,468
Wait!
999
00:56:53,162 --> 00:56:54,162
Wait!
1000
00:56:54,727 --> 00:56:56,407
You can't leave me here!
1001
00:57:00,194 --> 00:57:01,774
I have to get back
1002
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:08,760
Waaahh!
1003
00:57:39,432 --> 00:57:40,432
Help!
1004
00:57:41,972 --> 00:57:43,752
Help, help!
1005
00:58:18,537 --> 00:58:20,737
- Look at this garbage everywhere
1006
00:58:20,757 --> 00:58:24,213
'Tis the season to avoid the
recycling bins apparently
1007
00:58:26,851 --> 00:58:28,131
Hello my darling
1008
00:58:30,437 --> 00:58:32,117
Happy Christmas to you
1009
00:58:33,537 --> 00:58:36,291
You look very nice, I like that jacket
1010
00:58:36,432 --> 00:58:39,908
I don't think the chicken
wrappers are working for you
1011
00:58:46,606 --> 00:58:48,286
Are you ok my darling?
1012
00:58:49,313 --> 00:58:50,252
What day is it?
1013
00:58:50,273 --> 00:58:51,953
Ha! It's Christmas Eve
1014
00:58:53,087 --> 00:58:53,947
In?
1015
00:58:53,967 --> 00:58:56,647
Two thousand and twenty two
1016
00:59:03,342 --> 00:59:04,542
I made it back!
1017
00:59:10,245 --> 00:59:11,925
But I'm gonna be late
1018
00:59:32,233 --> 00:59:33,913
- Good luck my darling
1019
00:59:34,612 --> 00:59:35,612
Thank you!
1020
00:59:44,643 --> 00:59:46,242
And now without further ado,
1021
00:59:46,270 --> 00:59:49,382
may I introduce you to the woman we're
about to make very rich indeed,
1022
00:59:49,738 --> 00:59:54,171
Yes, it's Christmas Carole herself,
Carole Mackay!
1023
00:59:59,496 --> 01:00:00,762
Carole Mackay!
1024
01:00:06,874 --> 01:00:09,047
Thank you to Barry and Asok,
1025
01:00:10,547 --> 01:00:12,267
for whatever it is you've just said
1026
01:00:14,431 --> 01:00:16,231
And thank you to all of you,
1027
01:00:16,481 --> 01:00:18,180
for coming tonight,
1028
01:00:18,234 --> 01:00:19,834
you could be at home
1029
01:00:20,134 --> 01:00:21,440
It's Christmas Eve!
1030
01:00:22,373 --> 01:00:23,939
But you're not, you're here
1031
01:00:32,414 --> 01:00:32,987
and you'll believe
1032
01:00:32,994 --> 01:00:35,840
- Awww, what's this rubbish?
- We're watching that!
1033
01:00:36,421 --> 01:00:38,453
That woman's fired you,
why are you so interested in her?
1034
01:00:38,501 --> 01:00:39,927
Just want to see if she's ok
1035
01:00:39,954 --> 01:00:42,384
- and that something, is money!
1036
01:00:43,907 --> 01:00:44,907
Money!
1037
01:00:47,177 --> 01:00:50,084
If there is no money, no-one buys our stuff
1038
01:00:50,870 --> 01:00:52,870
If no-one buys our stuff, well,
1039
01:00:53,037 --> 01:00:55,943
there is no Christmas,
am I right?
1040
01:00:59,747 --> 01:01:01,027
Well no, I'm not
1041
01:01:01,481 --> 01:01:02,841
Right, actually,
1042
01:01:04,223 --> 01:01:06,296
So I want to take this opportunity to
1043
01:01:06,863 --> 01:01:08,143
explain why I'm
1044
01:01:08,684 --> 01:01:10,337
pulling out of the deal
1045
01:01:18,453 --> 01:01:20,586
I'm not selling Christmas Carole
1046
01:01:20,646 --> 01:01:24,001
I'm, rebranding the company
1047
01:01:25,119 --> 01:01:28,565
We'll stop making tonnes
of tacky Christmas tat
1048
01:01:29,359 --> 01:01:32,226
We're gonna make reusable packaging instead
1049
01:01:33,805 --> 01:01:37,211
It turns out that Christmas is still
Christmas even without
1050
01:01:37,338 --> 01:01:40,251
half a million pairs of
plastic reindeer antlers
1051
01:01:45,881 --> 01:01:50,901
I'm also, ordering a share issue
1052
01:01:52,502 --> 01:01:55,522
available to employees
of the company only, at
1053
01:01:55,836 --> 01:01:57,482
a price of 50p per share
1054
01:01:58,989 --> 01:02:01,809
in memory of my Dad's electricity meter
1055
01:02:03,511 --> 01:02:05,080
And, finally,
1056
01:02:06,234 --> 01:02:07,234
I'd like to
1057
01:02:08,728 --> 01:02:12,701
announce the appointment of the
company's new joint CEO
1058
01:02:15,104 --> 01:02:16,250
Bobbie Singh-Cratchett
1059
01:02:27,121 --> 01:02:28,121
Hi Bobbie!
1060
01:02:29,827 --> 01:02:32,707
- I know you'll be watching,
even though I fired you
1061
01:02:32,887 --> 01:02:36,847
I won't take up too much of your time because I
know Jas will be wanting to watch Game of Thrones
1062
01:02:38,561 --> 01:02:39,561
How did she?
1063
01:02:43,023 --> 01:02:44,889
Well I'll just say I'm sorry
1064
01:02:46,276 --> 01:02:48,809
For all the times that I didn't listen
1065
01:02:49,449 --> 01:02:50,996
For all the times that I didn't care
1066
01:02:52,443 --> 01:02:55,949
For all the times that I made you do
something that I could have done myself
1067
01:02:58,602 --> 01:03:00,202
You've been a good friend to me
1068
01:03:01,213 --> 01:03:03,907
I hope that from now on I
can be a good friend to you
1069
01:03:07,665 --> 01:03:09,025
You are my friend
1070
01:03:10,271 --> 01:03:11,271
Sorry
1071
01:03:14,876 --> 01:03:16,776
Well that's it, thank you
1072
01:03:17,976 --> 01:03:19,269
What the hell was that?
1073
01:03:19,310 --> 01:03:21,369
So you're not selling the company?
1074
01:03:22,395 --> 01:03:24,001
He's quick, I'll give him that
1075
01:03:26,108 --> 01:03:28,042
Merry Christmas little feller
1076
01:03:47,305 --> 01:03:49,105
Merry Christmas Miss Carole
1077
01:03:49,525 --> 01:03:51,205
Merry Christmas Charlie
1078
01:03:58,470 --> 01:04:00,603
Merry Christmas
- Merry Christmas
1079
01:04:45,089 --> 01:04:46,609
Merry Christmas Dad
1080
01:04:48,642 --> 01:04:49,922
Come in, come in
1081
01:04:50,305 --> 01:05:50,399
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