All language subtitles for wellington paranormal s02e04 1080p bluray x264-carved (1)

Who's the, uh, deceased, Sarge?

Well, uh, this may shock you.

I didn't even know we
had a morgue in here.

Who's this poor guy?

Does that mean I'm dead?
Am I a ghost?

No, of course not, Minogue. Obviously you're
not dead, Minogue, and you're not a ghost, OK?

Do you have a twin? No, I'd
remember something like that.

You'd better show them.

That's weird, eh?
Mm.

I've never... I've never seen
anything like that in my life.

This is a far-out-there theory,
so maybe not for your ears.

If you could... Please. Thank you.

Maybe this
is Minogue from the future,

and he's travelled back
to the present, but he died.

What happened to my
thingy in the future?

Well, that's what we
need to find out. Hmm.

Looks like a quiet town.
Yeah.

Hard to believe that anything out of
the ordinary would happen out here -

but then, I guess, it's sometimes the less-suspecting
places where the weirdest stuff happens, isn't it?

I suspect it's the most-suspecting
places where it happens.

So, we're here to question
the proprietor of the local dairy,

uh, before we head to the spot where
the corpse resembling Minogue was found.

Although it didn't exactly
resemble me, did it?

It sort of vaguely looked like me -
sorta like a deader version of me.

But we're just gonna pop in here and have a
chat to the owner, see what he can tell us, um,

about the corpse that resembled me,
just to see what he knows.

Um, I guess while we're here, we could also double
this up as lunch or sort of a morning tea situation.

Um, we could both-I thought your
brother Adam made your lunch today.

Hello there.

Gidday, mate.
Hi, sir.

Have... Have we met before?

Met before?
Yeah. Have I met you before?

- He looks really familiar.
- I think I'd remember those eyes.

OK. Um, look, sir, this
might sound a little bit odd,

but did you happen to serve a police officer in here
yesterday who looked very much like my partner here?

So, did you see anything?

A police officer that looked
quite a bit like my partner here?

In fact, exactly like him?

Minogue, we're supposed to
be investigating, not buying food.

So you didn't see a police officer
who looked just like this?

You are one of the many.

Sorry, wh-? One of the many what?
You must go to the motel.

No, we're not gonna stay here,

I don't think, mate. There you
will find the answers that you seek.

Do you know your food's quite dusty?

I'm pretty sure all of it
is at least a year old.

Look, um, sir, if you do happen to
remember serving a police officer,

um, please just give me
a call on this number.

Thank you.
Yeah. Thanks, mate.

Keep an eye out for Maisey? We're
not here to investigate cows, Minogue.

No, I know, but there's
a 700 reward, so...

little bit of pocket money? Eh?
We'll keep an eye out.

Look out for a cow
with blue earrings.

I'm sure I've met that guy before. And what
was with that 'go to the motel' business?

Yeah, well, maybe he's just promoting
local businesses. He's doin' a good job.

Tell you what, the food was
dusty, though. Oh, it was gross.

Some of it was so old, it didn't even have an
expiry date on it. Yeah, it's interesting, though.

I mean, what do you reckon it means?
I'll tell you what it means.

It means I'm gonna have to eat this
salad that my brother, Adam, made for me.

I mean, can you call it a salad when it's just
leaves? I mean, that's just lettuce leaves.

Oh, gross.
What?

It's got a slug in it. I hate slugs.

Yeah, well, don't waste it.
I mean, just eat around it.

So, we're here where the body
of the deceased was found.

As you can see, the outline
of the deceased Minogue

is in fact the exact
same size as the, um...

as the live Minogue is now.
It's a perfect fit, O'Leary.

Uh, you're not supposed to
be in there. Nah, it feels weird.

But you walk down the street,
you would think that was me.

Wouldn't you? If you saw that,
you'd go, 'Minogue.'

Straight away. I'm not sure
that-No, not necessarily.

Um, I mean, it was just uncanny
that it was exactly the right...

Uncanny.
Yep.

Oh, look. Reckon that could be the
motel that guy was talking about.

Well, surely there's not more than
one out here. Wouldn't have thought so,

nah, not here. I mean, it certainly
does seem like a rather peculiar place.

Mm. I mean, seeing the chalk
outline itself is-is rather strange.

It's not the sort of thing that we would
do in the city, um, in our policing. Is it?

No. Well, it's considered vandalism.
It's strictly prohibited.

That's-It's only
chalk, though, isn't it?

Well, that's what I said, um, but
they didn't wanna hear it... Mm.

...and I spent three
days in the cells.

What?

What? My hat. Ugh.

Slug's back. Look.

On my hat.
Well, just flick... flick it off.

The slug's off now. If that comes in
the car... Look, it's fine. The slug's off.

Those guys are watching.

Do you promise to-? Open the
doors, Minogue. Do you promise-?

Are slugs part of the worm family,
or are they just snails

that don't have shells?
Well, no, they're... slugs.

Yeah, I know they're slugs,
but I guess my question is -

do we need to have slugs when
we've already got snails?

I'll Google it.

Do you realise how
amazing those things are?

Do I?
It's a muscular foot.

How much do you need
a muscular foot?

Well, if you've only got that as
your whole body, I'd say quite a lot.

If you saw a big enormous
foot going down the road,

would you think that
was great or gross?

I'd think it was interesting.
Hmm. It'd be interesting -.

Yeah, so there you go.
Once.

Why only once? We don't need
millions of them around the place.

Well, that-
One of them in a zoo, and that's it.

We could see a documentary on it
and leave it at that.

Minogue?
What? I'm reading about slugs.

It's quite interesting. See, I didn't
realise that slugs actually have green blood.

O'Leary. Minogue, I-I thought
you were staying in the car.

Classic O'Leary.

How did you get in here before me?

Mm. Interesting.

It says, 'Slug, or land slug,
is a common name

'for any apparently shell-less
terrestrial gastropod mollusc.'

Wonder how they all lost
their shells. Sad, really.

Certainly not optimal. Just
part of the job. Well, I guess so.

Still, if they had a shell, they'd
seem less gross. I can't touch them.

Certainly not optimal.
Just part of the job.

It's not optimal, certainly.

You OK, O'Leary?

Where's our car going?
Well, you took off with it.

I was telling you some
interesting facts about slugs,

and then you turned around and
looked at me with your pus-y face,

and then I got out, and now
I'm here. What'd you do that for?

N- Well, no, cos it wasn't me.

Well, I just met a copy
of you that wasn't dead.

I think we've stumbled across some sort of cloning
scenario. There are exact copies of us here.

What did the exact copy of me
look like? Well, looked like you.

Handsome? Kinda like a, you know,
constantly surprised Edmund Hillary. Like...

But how do they know what we look
like? I've never been to this town before,

and I haven't got any friends
that do cloning that I know of.

Maybe it's some sort of Jurassic
Park situation, and they've got our DNA?

They're makin' an
army of supercops,

and they're usin' us
as the blueprint.

Can you close that?
They're really tricky.

Kia or a. Sergeant Maaka speaking.

Kia or a, Sarge. It's O'Leary here,
from work. Say gidday from me.

Ah, O'Leary. How's it going over
there? Good. Um, Minogue says hi.

Um, it's actually pretty, uh...
pretty peculiar here.

We've identified some people
that look exactly like us, and-.

Tell him my theory.
Hang on a sec.

Uh, and to some degree,
they behave like us too. Mm.

Tell him my theory.

What?
My theory about the...

Yeah. Um, so, Minogue
does have a theory.

Um, he thinks potentially they've used
our DNA to make an army of supercops.

You gotta go up. Sell it.
'Supercops!' Su-Super cops.

What, from you two?

Uh, apprehend those clones
and bring them into the station.

Yeah, bringing them back's gonna
be a little bit, um... bit tricky,

just because, um, they have-
See that?

What? See that? No, I didn't.

Um, they have actually
taken our patrol vehicle.

OK. Uh, I'll be there
as soon as I can, OK?

Copy that.
Sarge out.

One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, 10, 11... Minogue-

...12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18...
Minogue, what are you doing?

Look, I know there's one of the you's in
here, so why don't we just arrest that one?

Well, I sort of feel like we should arrest the
you, because you were the one that stole the car.

Yeah, but she's gone in the car...

...so why don't we just
arrest this one over-? OK.

You kinda look like... Not
optimal. Not optimal. Not optimal.

...her. Classic
O'Leary. Not optimal.

They're the originals.
Copy that. Classic O'Leary.

They must be detained. They must
be detained. Classic O'Leary. Copy that.

They said they're gonna detain us.
Right, we've gotta arrest one of them.

Not optimal. Not optimal. I'm gonna
arrest the me's; You arrest the you's.

Minogue, you're under arrest
for impersonating Minogue.

Requesting assistance!
Get it off, O'Leary!

I'm trying! It won't move!
Get it off!

Go that way, that way, that way.
That way, go! Go!

- You all right?
- That is assaulting a police officer.

Yeah, well, it wasn't me. No, I
know it wasn't you. It was the alien.

It was the clone in my
name. It wasn't me. I know.

They are disrespecting
the uniform... Yeah.

...and that was completely unsafe.
And you - they were disrespecting you,

and he was disrespecting the relationship
that we've got... I know. It's outrageous.

...because you might
be mad at me now.

They are the originals. They
must be detained. Copy that.

What? Copy that. Not optimal.

- Listen, O'Leary.
- Travelling. Copy that.

Travelling! Travelling! What's
your assessment, O'Leary?

Um, I think we should run.
Run. Run! Copy that. Copy that.

Travelling!

Come on, come on. Come on! Come
in. Quick, shut the door. Shut the door!

Can't believe I lost my cuffs.
Don't worry.

You can get another pair. Well, it comes out of
my pay. That's the third time that's happened.

I'm gonna start wearing them
now so I don't lose them.

Look, here's what we're gonna do, OK?
I'm gonna write an M on your forehead;

You write an O on mine. That way, if we get
split up, we'll know who the real us are, OK?

M for 'me', O for 'other copy'.
Minogue, O'Leary. Copy.

There you go.

OK. Right, I'm gonna ring Sarge. We
need backup. Oh, they got a spa pool.

And it's open 24 hours.
You know, most spas,

they close at 10pm.
Sarge. Yeah, hi, Sarge.

Yeah, it's me. Say hi for me. Say
hi for me. Hey-Yeah, um, look-.

Sarge?

Sarge? And it's got-They've
got three Sky channels as well.

This place isn't bad actually except
the clones of us are trying to kill us.

Anyway, we've gotta find a way
out of here. Check the window.

O'Leary? No. No, that's not
a good idea. That's no good.

OK, um... That looks
like the worst place to go.

Minogue, we need to find a
way out of here. Optimal. Optimal.

Copy that.

Thought that was
another one of them.

OK, the coast is clear.

Minogue!

Minogue? Optimal. Copy that.

Minogue! Copy that. Optimal.

Copy that. Optimal. Copy that.

Copy that. Minogue!
Optimal. Optimal.

Not optimal.
O'Leary. Classic O'Leary.

That's so true.

You got a great sense of
humour, Minogue. Yeah.

O'Leary! Jump in. Yeah,
O'Leary, jump in. Minogue?

Well, you've both got M's on your
heads. How can I tell who's who?

I'm the Minogue you know. Well, why
do you both have an M on your heads?

Because I put an M on his head.
Why would you do that?

Cos it defeats the whole purpose of why
I put an M on your head in the first place.

Well, it's so I can see him in
a crowd, in case we get separated.

I came down here to check
the spa out, we got to talking.

Turns out we got a lot in common.
His M stands for 'mate'.

Hey, this cloning business
is pretty interesting, right?

You guys part of a new batch, or have
you been around for a while? Oh. Um,

ye-yeah-yeah, we're the new batch.
Really?

You come out pretty good,
all things considered,

cos a lot of the new
ones are a bit.

We're gonna start a podcast.
It's called Two Minogues in a Spa.

Or M1 and M2 Talk Rubbish.

OK, so, um, what's our plan, again?
You know, from one clone to another?

Well, no real plans. We just take over country,
I guess. Oh, yeah. Take over the country.

Can you just remind me again how
we're gonna do that? Well, the normal way -

metamorphosising, cloning,

infiltrate the major cities,

take over the humans,
eat the humans.

You never mentioned that, Minogue. Yeah,
we're gonna talk about it in our podcast.

Should be pretty easy, considering
we're totally indestructible.

- Yeah.
- Ooh. Scuse me.

Yep.
No weaknesses whatsoever.

Nothing can kill us.

Nothin'!

Mate, help me!
What's happening, mate?

I think I'm dying!
He says he's dying, O'Leary!

Well, look, I'm-what
am I supposed to do about it?

I don't know. Give
him mouth-to-mouth.

But look - can you see that?
What?

Well, he's collapsed, and now, look,
the slugs are eating his body. Help me!

Slug got me! Slug! Yeah,
he's talkin' about the slugs now.

- He's saying 'slugs'...
- Sluuu-!

Slugs. He's blamin' it on the slugs.

I'd call that a fairly big weakness.
See, I think this is what happens

when you're open 24 hours and you've
got no time to do spa maintenance.

I just really feel like spa maintenance
is not the bigger issue here.

Well, I think the slugs come in
here, and they just treat it like a home.

You need to be able to get
in here and wash it down -

give it a hose and sweep it out.

I mean, it's obviously, uh-In policing,
we never like to see this kind of thing.

Fatalities are never good, um,
no matter who is the deceased,

but I think, end of
the day, um, this...

this thing - being, clone, what have
you - um, certainly had bad intent,

so... we're not
too worried about it.

Personally, I've got mixed emotions.
Um, I've got mixed emotions. Mixed?

Sad to see him, um, dead,
cos he looks exactly like me,

but also happy that he's gone, uh,
because he's actually an alien

and was planning on wiping out the real me,
uh, and the real O'Leary, I can only assume.

Doesn't look like you
anymore. Look at him.

He's a bit melty,
isn't he? It's grim. Mm.

Can I just suggest next time
you wanna have a spa,

you do it when you're off-duty?
Sure.

Hey. Listen.

What is that?

That sounds like...
Copy that. Copy that.

Copy that. Copy that.
Copy that. Copy that. Copy that.

Where's the Taser?
Copy that. Copy that.

In the car.
Oh God.

Copy that. Copy that. Copy that.
What's this?

O'Leary.
What?

Whoa. OK, who's the real Minogue?

I'm the real Minogue.
I'm a clone.

Look, there's only one way to
find out who the real Minogue is.

I'm gonna ask you a question only the real
Minogue would know. When's your mum's birthday?

January 25th.
January 26.

- It's 26.
- January 26.

January 26. I think it's tw-
Nah, it is, it's 26. They were right.

January 26. Only the real Minogue
would forget his own mum's birthday.

You, come here.

Yes!

O'Leary? What?
Looks like a dead end.

Correct. I think we're gonna
have to fight the army of me.

Wouldn't we have a better chance if
we split up from the camera crew?

Well, no, we've gotta
protect all New Zealanders.

OK? They're with us. I mean-Theoretically.
Practically, it's-They can hear you.

They can hear you.
Yeah.

Hey, you guys all good?

Stay close. I can't protect you if you're
too far away. Where've they all gone?

Ah, there you are. Sorry, guys,
I just made it now. Everything OK?

There's... There's dozens
of them, Sarge. Mm.

They're freaky. Yeah, and they
seem, you know, kinda dangerous.

Right. Quite dangerous.
Good-looking, though, half of them.

I thought they'd be dangerous
too, not just good-looking... Mm.

...but that's why I called
the Armed Offenders Squad.

So they've sealed off the premises and pushed the
clones to the edge of the area so they can be detained.

We didn't notice them arrive
or anything like that, or...

hear anything. Well, probably in
stealth mode, something like that.

Well, that sounds like a property
damage in progress. Let's go.

Stealth mode. We're in stealth
mode. Stealth mode. Stealth mode.

Must've come from in there.

There's heaps of them.
Where's Sarge?

Let's get outta here.
No, no. Where's Sarge? He's coming.

Sarge. Sarge. It's a trap.

Looks like some sort of a nest.

- All right, quiet, please, everyone.
- Let me have your attention.

Now,

I just wanted to say what
a good job everybody has done today.

I think the cloning
has gone really well -

even though some of you still
look a little bit deformed,

and maybe your communication
skills could use a bit of work.

But that's just the nature
of the beast, isn't it?

Uh, our job is not yet done, though.

I think the best way to adapt or simulate
the human lifestyle is to study them...

...and then we eat them.

Open it! I can't! It's locked.
Take them to the cooler.

It won't open!

Sarge, what are you doin' in here?

Hang on. How do we know it's the
real Sarge? Yeah, how do we know?

'Course it's me.
Don't be ridiculous.

Hostile bunch of you guys took me hostage.
Then one that looked like me took me hostage,

threw me in this chiller
and took my hat.

I think I know what's goin' on here, guys.
These aren't clones per se. What do you mean?

I'm about to show you
footage from a year ago,

when we encountered those alien plant life
forms on the farm just up the road from here.

OK, check this out.

There's you guys. There's me...
Yeah?

...but I'd left moments earlier.
And see that tendril-?

Yeah, freeze-frame.

See that tendril there?
Dead giveaway.

And there's you
guys. That's us. Yup.

Zoom back out.
But that's us.

That's the real us.
That's us there. Yeah.

And we completely missed that. Unbeknownst
to us, they escaped, all right, obviously,

and took new forms - our forms.

Only now they've multiplied.
There's more of them.

I feel like a fool. Don't worry.
It's a good lesson for all of us.

Anyway, we need to get outta here,
but we're locked in.

We're not locked in any more, Sarge.
Clone me probably forgot to lock it

when he threw us in here.
That'd be typical.

OK, let's go.

Going somewhere, humans?

Hey, Sarge.

Over here.

Ju-jitsu?

Ju-jitsu.

Uh, he seems to be instantly
learning my ju-jitsu moves.

What are you doing?

When I get nervous, I eat.
What?! Typical.

Well, don't take 'em!

Sarge, try the slug!

I'm-I'm all good, guys. I'm all good.
We're indestructible, didn't you know?

Guys... Great work, Sarge.
...the slug is its natural enemy.

We need to contain these
things, so arm yourselves.

OK, let's go.

Wait, wait.

All right.

They're so gross.
Oh, I've got stitch.

Wait for me, everybody!

Uh, Sarge, we got a situation.
Yeah, what? What situation's that?

Uh, it's a spaceship situation.

Travelling.
Copy that.

Travelling.
Copy that.

Travelling. Travelling.
What...?

- Copy that.
- Copy that.

Take me with you.

Why did you say, 'Take us with you'?
I-Uh, no, no. No, I was-.

Were you talking to us or were you
talking to them? I was talking to myself.

The threat has been contained,
and the alien, uh, plant people

have been eradicated from
the face of the planet.

Even so, you should still be on the lookout for
people exhibiting strange repetitive behaviour.

Mm. It just goes to show you can't trust
anyone in this line of work - even yourself.

But if you do see anyone
that looks like us, uh,

please do report it
directly to... us. Mm.

How will they know?
They have to make sure it's us.

How will they know it's us?

They'll, um...
Just ask.

We're members of the New Zealand
Police Force, and we have to be honest.

Correct.

Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Glenna Casalme.

Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.

www.able.co.nz
Copyright Able 2019