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1
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Back in the '80s,
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00:00:01,159 --> 00:00:03,303
we were all obsessed with
the movie "Karate Kid,"
3
00:00:03,830 --> 00:00:04,926
the tale of a misfit teenager
4
00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:06,373
who teams up with Mr. Miyagi
5
00:00:06,596 --> 00:00:08,284
to crane-kick his way to victory.
6
00:00:08,352 --> 00:00:10,186
Wax on. Right.
7
00:00:10,254 --> 00:00:11,754
Wax off. Left.
8
00:00:11,823 --> 00:00:13,455
- Wax on. Right hand.
- Wax on. Right hand.
9
00:00:13,558 --> 00:00:14,857
- Wax off. Left hand.
- Wax off. Left hand.
10
00:00:14,959 --> 00:00:16,592
- Wax on. Wax off.
- Wax on. Wax off.
11
00:00:16,661 --> 00:00:18,760
Shh. It's hard enough to
hear the old karate gardener
12
00:00:18,829 --> 00:00:20,929
without you two morons talking over him.
13
00:00:20,998 --> 00:00:23,165
Yep, "Karate Kid" had
something for everyone.
14
00:00:23,234 --> 00:00:26,134
Oh, Man, I loved how Daniel-san
beat up all those bullies.
15
00:00:26,204 --> 00:00:27,969
I mean, how many weeks
did he train? Three?
16
00:00:28,072 --> 00:00:29,104
So cool.
17
00:00:29,207 --> 00:00:31,407
I loved the leg sweeping
and face punches.
18
00:00:31,475 --> 00:00:34,943
I loved the wise old man
kicking all those kids' butts.
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00:00:34,978 --> 00:00:37,245
He should be arrested, but he's not.
20
00:00:37,314 --> 00:00:38,513
It even inspired me
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00:00:38,548 --> 00:00:40,248
to write my very own
movie-review column
22
00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:41,349
in the school newspaper.
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00:00:41,451 --> 00:00:43,051
Reading anything good there, Taz?
24
00:00:43,153 --> 00:00:45,320
Yeah, man, this review
of "Karate Kid" is fresh.
25
00:00:45,388 --> 00:00:47,989
That other Adam Goldberg in
11th grade knows his movies.
26
00:00:48,058 --> 00:00:49,324
What? No. I wrote that.
27
00:00:49,392 --> 00:00:51,226
It says here it's by Adam Goldberg.
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00:00:51,294 --> 00:00:53,461
You're Adam F. Goldberg.
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00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:57,298
With one missing letter "F,"
my "Karate Kid" journey began.
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00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:59,634
Oh, balls!
31
00:00:59,736 --> 00:01:00,568
You!
32
00:01:00,637 --> 00:01:02,002
Oh, balls!
33
00:01:02,038 --> 00:01:06,073
Balls, indeed. There he
was, the other Adam Goldberg.
34
00:01:06,175 --> 00:01:08,976
Indie, artsy, and my nemesis
35
00:01:09,045 --> 00:01:10,111
who had been on my mind a bit lately.
36
00:01:10,179 --> 00:01:11,212
There's another Adam Goldberg.
37
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,512
There's another Adam Goldberg in school.
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00:01:12,581 --> 00:01:14,281
He's in 11th grade. He's an actor, too.
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00:01:14,383 --> 00:01:15,649
He's got more of a Jim Jarmusch vibe.
40
00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:16,617
He's more of a multi-hyphenate.
41
00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:17,752
He's a loose cannon.
42
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:19,686
He's way more likely
to win an award than me.
43
00:01:19,756 --> 00:01:22,656
And he's very mad about the
whole same-name situation.
44
00:01:22,759 --> 00:01:24,424
He looks madder than usual.
45
00:01:24,493 --> 00:01:27,794
He really does. Thanks
for having my back, Taz.
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00:01:27,863 --> 00:01:29,863
We need to talk, Adam Goldberg.
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00:01:29,931 --> 00:01:32,366
Oh, yeah, sure. What's on
your mind, other Adam Goldberg?
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00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:34,834
For the record, you're
the other Adam Goldberg,
49
00:01:34,903 --> 00:01:36,270
and you're ruining my rep.
50
00:01:36,338 --> 00:01:38,538
Everyone thinks I
wrote this hacky tripe.
51
00:01:38,607 --> 00:01:40,406
It's supposed to say "Adam F."
52
00:01:40,508 --> 00:01:41,908
It's a simple mistake, really.
53
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,443
It's like that time the
nurse gave you my inhaler,
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00:01:44,512 --> 00:01:46,179
even though you don't have
a problem with ragweed.
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00:01:46,248 --> 00:01:47,446
Don't minimize this, bro.
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00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,415
Do you have any idea how many people
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00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,251
have congratulated me on this article?
58
00:01:51,352 --> 00:01:53,286
- Two?
- Wow, that's a good guess.
59
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,755
Point is, I'm tired of
the marketplace confusion!
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00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,023
You got to change your name now.
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00:01:58,092 --> 00:01:59,792
I really don't think
people are gonna be confused
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00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,059
by our names, dude.
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00:02:01,128 --> 00:02:03,763
Hey, Goldberg, we're playing
basketball in the gym,
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00:02:03,864 --> 00:02:06,332
and your mother is insisting
you wear a jockstrap
65
00:02:06,434 --> 00:02:08,033
so you don't hurt your yam bag.
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00:02:08,068 --> 00:02:10,803
Ha! He's worried about
his reproductive health.
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00:02:10,871 --> 00:02:12,271
His mom cares about him!
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00:02:12,373 --> 00:02:13,638
That's a weakness!
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00:02:13,707 --> 00:02:15,808
You're changing your name.
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00:02:15,910 --> 00:02:16,875
(Sighs)
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You're the best around
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00:02:19,713 --> 00:02:22,181
Nothin's gonna
ever keep you down
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00:02:22,283 --> 00:02:26,151
It was March 1, 1980-something,
and Erica was still obsessing
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00:02:26,253 --> 00:02:28,287
over her first kiss with Geoff Schwartz.
75
00:02:28,355 --> 00:02:30,689
Hey. Can we talk, you know,
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00:02:30,724 --> 00:02:31,956
about that thing that
happened between us
77
00:02:32,058 --> 00:02:33,191
with our lips and stuff?
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00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:34,492
I know the thing, Geoff.
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00:02:34,561 --> 00:02:36,695
Well, even though that
thing was super-awesome...
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00:02:36,797 --> 00:02:38,830
It can't happen again 'cause, like...
81
00:02:38,932 --> 00:02:40,231
Me and Evy are together.
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00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,099
- You get it.
- Totally.
83
00:02:42,202 --> 00:02:44,569
It was a stupid one-time mistake.
84
00:02:44,671 --> 00:02:48,206
(Music Playing)
85
00:02:48,308 --> 00:02:50,374
A one-time mistake that
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00:02:50,476 --> 00:02:52,476
we've made every day...
87
00:02:52,578 --> 00:02:54,345
for the last three weeks.
88
00:02:54,447 --> 00:02:56,848
Right, but this is the last time.
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Starting now.
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God! What is wrong with us?!
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00:02:59,719 --> 00:03:00,451
This has to stop!
92
00:03:00,553 --> 00:03:01,552
- Does it?
- I don't know!
93
00:03:01,654 --> 00:03:02,586
It does.
94
00:03:02,688 --> 00:03:03,587
Does it, though?
95
00:03:03,656 --> 00:03:05,021
It doesn't! And you know why?
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00:03:05,090 --> 00:03:06,189
I'm gonna break up with Evy today.
97
00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:08,091
Dude, you say that exact
same thing every day,
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00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,226
and we always end up hiding in here
99
00:03:09,328 --> 00:03:10,828
while Evy has volleyball practice.
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00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:13,129
You'll see. This time, I won't
get scared of her and wimp out.
101
00:03:13,232 --> 00:03:15,165
Well, my lips aren't touching
yours until it's official.
102
00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:16,967
Understood?
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As Erica and Geoff
were living in denial,
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I was living in fear about my own name.
105
00:03:25,443 --> 00:03:26,977
And so it's with a heavy heart
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00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:28,678
I must legally change my name.
107
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,680
Let's take a look at option one.
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00:03:30,815 --> 00:03:35,951
Examples of this might
be Snake, Blade, or Axel.
109
00:03:36,053 --> 00:03:37,387
Axel Goldberg?
110
00:03:37,489 --> 00:03:38,821
Moving on.
111
00:03:38,923 --> 00:03:40,556
We have the second option.
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I can be Adam Kenobi,
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Adam Balboa, or Adam "Cobra" Commander.
114
00:03:46,631 --> 00:03:48,564
Or there's option three...
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Pick one of the names I've
carefully crafted for you.
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Spazitron Spazzowitz.
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00:03:53,871 --> 00:03:56,171
Nads Asshattington.
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- (Chuckles)
- Turd Smugglins.
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No!
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Who would name their child Turd
121
00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:03,012
if their last name was Smugglins?!
122
00:04:03,114 --> 00:04:04,479
Who?!
123
00:04:04,581 --> 00:04:07,516
Damn it, you're still going on
about this stupid name thing?
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00:04:07,618 --> 00:04:08,650
Dad's right.
125
00:04:08,752 --> 00:04:12,521
Stop running, and fight
for your name and honor.
126
00:04:12,623 --> 00:04:13,722
Fight? What fight?
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00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:15,089
There will be no fight.
128
00:04:15,158 --> 00:04:17,058
Stay out of this, Bevy.
I'm gonna deal with it.
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00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,561
First, you bop that kid in the nose.
130
00:04:19,663 --> 00:04:21,863
Then you hit him with a chair.
131
00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:23,698
Why aren't you writing this down?
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I think it's easier if I just
peacefully change my name
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00:04:26,269 --> 00:04:28,970
'cause the other Adam Goldberg
is slightly inconvenienced
134
00:04:29,072 --> 00:04:30,104
every so often.
135
00:04:30,206 --> 00:04:31,205
No way.
136
00:04:31,308 --> 00:04:33,274
Your name is perfect, just like you.
137
00:04:33,376 --> 00:04:34,442
Mama will take care of this.
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00:04:34,544 --> 00:04:36,244
Absolutely not.
139
00:04:36,346 --> 00:04:38,079
You go tattle-taling to your mama,
140
00:04:38,181 --> 00:04:39,647
it's only gonna make things worse.
141
00:04:39,749 --> 00:04:40,949
Okay, fine.
142
00:04:41,051 --> 00:04:44,552
I promise I won't speak
to the other Adam Goldberg
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00:04:44,654 --> 00:04:46,587
at all, in any way.
144
00:04:46,689 --> 00:04:48,956
Your mom called my mom last night, dude.
145
00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:50,458
What is wrong with you?
146
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,125
Damn it! She found a loophole.
147
00:04:52,227 --> 00:04:53,794
She convinced my mom
that I should go by AJ
148
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'cause my middle name's Jacob.
149
00:04:55,064 --> 00:04:55,930
- AJ.
- Relax.
150
00:04:55,998 --> 00:04:57,531
No one's calling you AJ.
151
00:04:57,633 --> 00:05:00,000
Hey, everybody, the pretentious
film nerd's gonna go by AJ
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00:05:00,069 --> 00:05:01,201
so we can tell the difference
153
00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:03,003
between him and the
mainstream film nerd.
154
00:05:03,105 --> 00:05:04,237
Your name's just letters!
155
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:05,973
You suck, AJ!
156
00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:07,740
That's it. I was just gonna
make you change your name,
157
00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:09,242
but now I'm gonna beat
the crap out of you
158
00:05:09,311 --> 00:05:10,410
and make you change your name!
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00:05:10,479 --> 00:05:11,945
Let's say you didn't beat me up,
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00:05:11,981 --> 00:05:14,081
and I became a Mr. Turd Smugglins.
161
00:05:14,149 --> 00:05:15,014
Would that appeal to you?
162
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:17,350
No. Be in the quad at 3:00.
163
00:05:17,452 --> 00:05:19,185
While I was forced to face my nemesis,
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Erica was suddenly feeling bad for hers.
165
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,823
Evy, hey.
166
00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:25,391
You... okay?
167
00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:26,993
- (Voice breaking) I'm fine.
- You sure?
168
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,227
Something bad didn't happen to you,
169
00:05:28,296 --> 00:05:30,830
like a paper cut or a nasty break-up?
170
00:05:30,899 --> 00:05:33,265
I think something's going
on between me and Geoffrey.
171
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:36,135
Geoffrey... the Toys R' Us giraffe?
172
00:05:36,237 --> 00:05:38,037
Schwartz!
173
00:05:38,106 --> 00:05:41,840
I mean, I know I can
be kind of smothering,
174
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,710
but that's only because
I like him so much.
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00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,279
Um, it's gonna be fine.
176
00:05:47,382 --> 00:05:48,480
You'll be fine.
177
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,483
Um, maybe not fine.
178
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:52,784
Life will move on.
179
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,285
Erica, you told her about us?
180
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,721
Um, no.
181
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:56,555
What about you guys?
182
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:57,689
What? No!
183
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,090
Nothing romantic is going on
184
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,459
while you're at volleyball
practice between 3:30 and 5:00.
185
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,461
Stop using so many specifics, Geoff!
186
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,863
All I'm saying is we were
definitely not damaging
187
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,232
some wind chimes in a moment of passion.
188
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,366
- Geoff!
- I'm so sorry!
189
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,701
Anxiety makes me get extremely detailed!
190
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,938
Well, anger makes me throw
stuff at cheating jerks!
191
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,173
- Ha!
- (Laughs)
192
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,908
You got a face full of orange drink!
193
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,476
It's fun 'cause you're sticky now!
194
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,512
Dear Lord, are you two
always just lurking around
195
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:21,546
to bag on people?
196
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,084
For sure.
- It makes me feel better
197
00:06:23,119 --> 00:06:24,415
about myself.
198
00:06:25,186 --> 00:06:27,351
Barry! I never thought I'd say this,
199
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,620
but I need your street
smarts and karate skills.
200
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,656
It's one-stop shopping
with me. Continue.
201
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:32,823
The other Adam Goldberg
202
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,759
says he's gonna beat me
into a pulp after school.
203
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:35,760
You got to save me.
204
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:36,761
Don't worry, bro.
205
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,862
I know just what to do.
206
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,765
As you know, it is strictly
against school policy
207
00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:44,435
to allow students to
fight on school property.
208
00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:45,536
Oh, thank God.
209
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,871
Which is why I'm
allowing your brother here
210
00:06:47,973 --> 00:06:51,542
to start an official
after-school karate club.
211
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:53,477
- What?
- Look, I already signed you up.
212
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,844
I thought you were going to save me.
213
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,747
I am, by letting the other Adam Goldberg
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00:06:57,816 --> 00:07:00,316
kick your ass in a loving, controlled,
215
00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,052
school-sanctioned environment
216
00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:05,455
monitored by our most lenient teacher.
217
00:07:05,557 --> 00:07:06,856
Karate club, huh?
218
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:09,059
Too afraid to fight me on the streets?
219
00:07:09,127 --> 00:07:11,160
Yes! I've mentioned that several times.
220
00:07:11,262 --> 00:07:12,462
Then I'll beat you down on the mat,
221
00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:14,297
even though we both
know you'll wuss out.
222
00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:15,431
Friday.
223
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,166
I'm kickng butts and taking names.
224
00:07:17,268 --> 00:07:19,535
Literally.
225
00:07:19,637 --> 00:07:20,869
Thanks a lot, Barry.
226
00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:22,972
You officially just
signed my death warrant.
227
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,041
Chill out. I got a plan.
228
00:07:26,144 --> 00:07:30,646
The time has come for
you to meet my sensei.
229
00:07:32,049 --> 00:07:32,948
What the hell?
230
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,216
Is it Thanksgiving already?
231
00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:37,019
No. You've got a new student.
232
00:07:37,088 --> 00:07:38,721
Uncle Marvin is your sensei?
233
00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:39,755
Hai!
234
00:07:39,857 --> 00:07:42,190
Will you train the
lazy-eyed one, master?
235
00:07:42,292 --> 00:07:43,158
Hai.
236
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:44,926
But be forewarned, Adam-san.
237
00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:46,394
You must always keep your focus sharp.
238
00:07:46,497 --> 00:07:48,663
You must not give in to distractions.
239
00:07:48,765 --> 00:07:50,499
And if anyone should
walk in here and say,
240
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,667
"Get out of my apartment,"
What do we say, Barry-san?
241
00:07:52,769 --> 00:07:54,068
I've got squatters rights.
242
00:07:54,171 --> 00:07:56,971
Excellent, my pupil. Excellent.
243
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,674
I always knew my crazy uncle
was a man of many talents,
244
00:07:59,743 --> 00:08:01,976
but I never realized
until that very moment
245
00:08:02,078 --> 00:08:03,811
that karate was one of them.
246
00:08:03,913 --> 00:08:04,979
Soap the counter.
247
00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:07,448
Rinse the counter. Hai!
248
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:09,017
And just like Mr. Miyagi,
249
00:08:09,119 --> 00:08:12,687
he used household chores to
teach me the art of karate.
250
00:08:12,789 --> 00:08:14,455
Wash the dishes! Hai!
251
00:08:14,557 --> 00:08:16,657
Scrape out that freezer.
252
00:08:16,759 --> 00:08:18,425
Give me that juice!
253
00:08:18,528 --> 00:08:19,826
(Grumbles)
254
00:08:19,928 --> 00:08:21,962
Cheese my quesadilla!
255
00:08:22,064 --> 00:08:23,063
(Grumbles)
256
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,299
Look in the neighbor's trash for cans!
257
00:08:25,401 --> 00:08:26,400
Good!
258
00:08:26,502 --> 00:08:27,968
Good!
259
00:08:28,103 --> 00:08:30,037
Shred my eight-year-old
tax returns!
260
00:08:30,105 --> 00:08:32,339
Hai!
261
00:08:32,441 --> 00:08:33,239
Hai!
262
00:08:33,341 --> 00:08:34,908
Take this old TV to the curb!
263
00:08:35,044 --> 00:08:37,644
Yes, I was becoming
a martial-arts master.
264
00:08:37,746 --> 00:08:39,379
I'm learning so much karate.
265
00:08:39,481 --> 00:08:40,380
Hai!
266
00:08:40,482 --> 00:08:42,394
At least that's what he told me.
267
00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:45,361
Thanks to Uncle Marvin, I
was almost ready for battle.
268
00:08:45,489 --> 00:08:46,587
I just needed permission.
269
00:08:46,768 --> 00:08:48,009
I need you to sign my permission slip
270
00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:48,906
for the Karate Club.
271
00:08:49,075 --> 00:08:51,989
I shall face my enemy in open combat.
272
00:08:52,091 --> 00:08:53,124
Look at you.
273
00:08:53,192 --> 00:08:54,725
Finally listening to your old man, huh?
274
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,160
No, your stuff was useless.
275
00:08:56,229 --> 00:08:58,229
I'm being trained by the most deadly
276
00:08:58,297 --> 00:09:00,063
martial-arts sensei in town.
277
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,198
Observe.
278
00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:03,366
Wah! Spray TV.
279
00:09:03,468 --> 00:09:04,801
Wipe TV.
280
00:09:04,903 --> 00:09:06,469
Spray TV.
281
00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:07,470
Wipe TV.
282
00:09:07,539 --> 00:09:09,439
I don't know what the hell that was,
283
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:12,109
but good for you for defending yourself
284
00:09:12,210 --> 00:09:13,977
and for cleaning my TV.
285
00:09:14,079 --> 00:09:15,145
Stay still, Lucky.
286
00:09:15,213 --> 00:09:16,479
Thank you. There we go.
287
00:09:16,548 --> 00:09:18,281
I was officially ready for battle.
288
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,617
Meanwhile, Erica and Geoff
were finally official.
289
00:09:20,718 --> 00:09:21,884
So you guys must feel great
290
00:09:21,986 --> 00:09:23,520
not having to hide your love anymore.
291
00:09:23,622 --> 00:09:25,021
Yeah, it's, like, the best.
292
00:09:25,089 --> 00:09:28,458
Yeah, you know, except for that.
293
00:09:30,662 --> 00:09:32,895
Look at her. She is a crazy person.
294
00:09:32,964 --> 00:09:35,131
- Seriously.
- She's gone full Zabka on us.
295
00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:36,598
- Gone what?
- Billy Zabka?
296
00:09:36,668 --> 00:09:38,400
The dude who played the
bad guy in "Karate Kid."
297
00:09:38,469 --> 00:09:41,103
He got dumped by Elisabeth
Shue and couldn't get over it.
298
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,172
Not taking sides, but
it really seems like
299
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,207
you guys are the Zabka
in this situation.
300
00:09:45,276 --> 00:09:47,076
Yeah, you're clearly the bad guys.
301
00:09:47,178 --> 00:09:48,144
- Mm-hmm.
- Us?
302
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:49,745
Come on, man. How can you even say that?
303
00:09:49,847 --> 00:09:51,280
There's no way that we're the Zabkas.
304
00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:53,382
Wrong. That night, Geoff went home
305
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,150
and watched a movie marathon.
306
00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:56,351
We're totally the Zabkas.
307
00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:57,319
Okay, what is happening?
308
00:09:57,421 --> 00:09:58,987
I just watched every Zabka movie.
309
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,290
"Karate Kid", Zabka snap-kicks Daniel,
310
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,857
who was just handing Ali back her radio.
311
00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:03,858
"Back to School",
312
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,694
Zabka punches Rodney Dangerfield.
313
00:10:05,796 --> 00:10:07,329
He punches an old man in the face.
314
00:10:07,431 --> 00:10:08,463
"Just One of the Guys",
315
00:10:08,499 --> 00:10:10,165
Zabka throws a girl in the ocean.
316
00:10:10,266 --> 00:10:11,733
She was just trying to
succeed as a photographer.
317
00:10:11,835 --> 00:10:14,169
Hey! Terry lied to everybody
about who she was,
318
00:10:14,237 --> 00:10:16,270
until she told him the
truth with her boobs.
319
00:10:16,306 --> 00:10:18,740
I'm Geoff Schwartz, man.
I can't be the Zabka.
320
00:10:18,842 --> 00:10:21,009
I'm the sweet, lovable,
girl-next-door type.
321
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,110
I'm the Elisabeth Shue.
322
00:10:22,145 --> 00:10:23,812
Well, I am not the Zabka here.
323
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,946
Whoa! Are you saying
I'm the solo Zabka here?
324
00:10:26,015 --> 00:10:27,281
Evy is your girlfriend.
325
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,383
You said you were going to break
up with her, but you didn't.
326
00:10:29,452 --> 00:10:30,784
Total Zabka move.
327
00:10:30,853 --> 00:10:32,386
Okay, you're being a
major Zabka right now,
328
00:10:32,488 --> 00:10:33,421
and I don't like it.
329
00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:35,789
Don't you call me a Zabka, Zabka!
330
00:10:35,858 --> 00:10:38,259
Ha! Only a Zabka would
call a Zabka a Zabka!
331
00:10:38,294 --> 00:10:41,929
Well, if I'm such a freaking
Zabka, then get out, you Zabka!
332
00:10:43,265 --> 00:10:44,264
We're still gonna make out
333
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:45,498
in your brother's tree
house later, right?
334
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:46,767
- Obviously!
- We're such Zabkas!
335
00:10:46,869 --> 00:10:48,068
I know!
336
00:10:48,904 --> 00:10:50,237
Listen up.
337
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:53,373
The next phase of our
training begins tomorrow.
338
00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:55,142
You will power-wash the driveway,
339
00:10:55,211 --> 00:10:56,509
like a true Shinobi warrior.
340
00:10:56,578 --> 00:10:58,778
Um, I can't wait till tomorrow.
341
00:10:58,847 --> 00:11:01,715
(Chuckles) I'd rather not
wait, either, grasshopper,
342
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:03,483
but I have to rent the power washer
343
00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,084
from the hardware store,
It's a whole thing.
344
00:11:05,153 --> 00:11:06,819
No, I have the tournament tomorrow.
345
00:11:06,855 --> 00:11:08,054
The tournament... What?
346
00:11:08,123 --> 00:11:10,357
Tomorrow's the big day
where Adam squares off
347
00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:12,825
against his same-name
nemesis, his namesis.
348
00:11:12,927 --> 00:11:14,127
Wait a minute, are you telling me
349
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,895
that someone's gonna put their
hands on you for real-skis?
350
00:11:15,997 --> 00:11:17,196
Fear not, Sensei.
351
00:11:17,265 --> 00:11:19,866
Once you show me how the
chores become karate moves,
352
00:11:19,934 --> 00:11:21,267
I shall not fail.
353
00:11:21,335 --> 00:11:22,969
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
354
00:11:23,071 --> 00:11:24,403
Okay, here's the deal.
355
00:11:24,472 --> 00:11:28,775
Um, technically, I'm not
so much of a karate expert
356
00:11:28,877 --> 00:11:31,644
as I am a guy whose housekeeper quit
357
00:11:31,712 --> 00:11:35,080
because he tried to
pay her with "massage."
358
00:11:35,182 --> 00:11:36,282
Oh, my God.
359
00:11:36,384 --> 00:11:39,251
What are you saying right now?!
360
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,053
All we've done is clean
this slob's apartment!
361
00:11:42,122 --> 00:11:45,824
I must unleash my anger through karate!
362
00:11:45,893 --> 00:11:47,893
Oh, God.
363
00:11:47,995 --> 00:11:49,694
This is all I know.
364
00:11:49,797 --> 00:11:51,897
What am I?
365
00:11:51,965 --> 00:11:55,200
Uncle Marvin, I have a
battle to the death tomorrow.
366
00:11:55,269 --> 00:11:56,768
What am I going to do?
367
00:11:56,837 --> 00:11:57,903
Okay, okay, okay.
368
00:11:57,971 --> 00:11:59,704
I still can teach you one technique.
369
00:11:59,773 --> 00:12:02,307
It's called duck and
curl up into a ball.
370
00:12:02,409 --> 00:12:03,241
Watch and learn.
371
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,843
(Whimpering)
372
00:12:06,479 --> 00:12:07,612
A-ha!
373
00:12:07,681 --> 00:12:09,113
I just figured it out.
374
00:12:09,215 --> 00:12:10,915
You're trying to shake my faith.
375
00:12:11,017 --> 00:12:11,916
This is all a test.
376
00:12:12,018 --> 00:12:13,050
It is?
377
00:12:13,119 --> 00:12:15,753
Of course I'm a 10th degree black belt.
378
00:12:15,855 --> 00:12:16,987
I have to be.
379
00:12:17,056 --> 00:12:19,990
Otherwise, reality as
I know it would implode,
380
00:12:20,092 --> 00:12:22,059
and I'd find myself in a deep darkness
381
00:12:22,128 --> 00:12:23,227
and never fully recover.
382
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:24,195
Oh, man.
383
00:12:24,297 --> 00:12:25,229
Back to training!
384
00:12:25,298 --> 00:12:26,530
My fate was sealed.
385
00:12:26,598 --> 00:12:27,965
But little did I know,
386
00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:30,334
there was a warrior still
out there fighting for me.
387
00:12:30,436 --> 00:12:32,203
I demand you shut down the Karate Club.
388
00:12:32,305 --> 00:12:33,904
Woof! You're awfully worked up.
389
00:12:33,973 --> 00:12:35,739
Must be a handful at home, huh?
390
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,441
- You think?
- You do realize
391
00:12:37,543 --> 00:12:39,409
Adam shouldn't even be in this club?
392
00:12:39,511 --> 00:12:42,879
You know, there's gonna be
teachers and mats and referees.
393
00:12:42,948 --> 00:12:47,484
This is literally the easiest
way for Adam to take on a bully.
394
00:12:47,553 --> 00:12:49,177
Well, then, you leave me no choice.
395
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:54,090
I am entering the karate tournament.
396
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:55,558
(Triumphant music plays)
397
00:12:55,660 --> 00:12:57,327
- (Music dies)
- No, you're an adult.
398
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:58,427
Oh, yeah, that's right.
399
00:12:58,653 --> 00:12:59,763
Fuck.
400
00:13:01,032 --> 00:13:04,000
But Mrs. Mom-yagi had one
more move up her sleeve.
401
00:13:04,102 --> 00:13:05,935
Thanks to her, I'd fight someone
402
00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:09,405
she could easily bend to her will.
403
00:13:09,474 --> 00:13:13,175
Welcome to the Huntington
All Valley Karate Club!
404
00:13:13,244 --> 00:13:16,812
(Cheers and applause)
405
00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:22,451
First match, Adam F.
Goldberg vs. Big Tasty.
406
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,987
I don't remember arranging
that, but it's on the big board,
407
00:13:25,089 --> 00:13:27,322
so let's do this!
408
00:13:27,424 --> 00:13:28,924
(Cheers and applause)
409
00:13:29,026 --> 00:13:31,326
Mama, did you do this
wonderful thing for me?
410
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,095
I am always on your side, boopie.
411
00:13:33,163 --> 00:13:34,062
(Chuckles)
412
00:13:36,033 --> 00:13:36,999
Take him out.
413
00:13:37,101 --> 00:13:38,700
Are you telling me to sweep the leg?
414
00:13:38,802 --> 00:13:40,869
If he wins, he has to face
the other Adam Goldberg.
415
00:13:40,971 --> 00:13:42,604
I want my schmoo out of commission.
416
00:13:42,672 --> 00:13:44,005
But then I'll get disqualified.
417
00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:46,608
Show no mercy.
418
00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:49,477
You hear me? Sweep the leg.
419
00:13:49,546 --> 00:13:51,579
Wait, why did mom yell, "Sweep the leg"?
420
00:13:51,681 --> 00:13:52,414
Eh, no reason.
421
00:13:52,516 --> 00:13:53,448
Sweep the leggy.
422
00:13:53,550 --> 00:13:54,516
Are you gonna sweep my leg?
423
00:13:54,618 --> 00:13:56,050
- Eh.
- Sweep the leggy, sweetie.
424
00:13:56,152 --> 00:13:57,318
You are! You're gonna sweep my leg!
425
00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:58,486
Sweep the leggy!
426
00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,854
Do not sweep the leg!
427
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,889
There was no way Barry
would listen to my mom
428
00:14:01,991 --> 00:14:02,790
and sweep the leg.
429
00:14:02,892 --> 00:14:03,891
Leg sweep!
430
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:04,792
Ooh!
431
00:14:04,894 --> 00:14:05,960
Balls! He swept my leg!
432
00:14:06,322 --> 00:14:07,361
He swept it but good!
433
00:14:07,463 --> 00:14:09,196
- Ohh!
- Disqualification!
434
00:14:09,299 --> 00:14:11,532
Adam F. advances to fight the other one,
435
00:14:11,634 --> 00:14:13,100
if he can ever walk again.
436
00:14:13,202 --> 00:14:14,101
(Groans)
437
00:14:15,545 --> 00:14:17,989
(Groans) He did it! He swept my leg!
438
00:14:18,089 --> 00:14:19,300
How could you let this happen?
439
00:14:19,335 --> 00:14:21,065
I'm sorry. I had a brilliant plan
440
00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:22,166
to get you a little bit hurt
441
00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:23,700
so you wouldn't have
to fight the other Adam
442
00:14:23,803 --> 00:14:24,802
and get very hurt.
443
00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:28,439
That is so... genius!
444
00:14:28,507 --> 00:14:30,374
I'm gonna hug your body!
445
00:14:30,476 --> 00:14:31,875
(Gasps) Hug it.
446
00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:33,710
Hey, your leg's better.
447
00:14:33,813 --> 00:14:34,945
Yeah, it was just a kick.
448
00:14:35,047 --> 00:14:36,680
Barry usually hurts me way worse.
449
00:14:36,749 --> 00:14:38,214
Yesterday he threw me out of a tree.
450
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,684
Okay, well, this, uh... Faking
your way out of this fight...
451
00:14:40,753 --> 00:14:41,885
It'll be our little secret.
452
00:14:41,954 --> 00:14:43,053
Shh. It's Dad.
453
00:14:43,155 --> 00:14:44,721
Hey, Dad. Bad news.
454
00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:46,757
Got my leg swept.
455
00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:48,024
Fight's off.
456
00:14:48,093 --> 00:14:50,193
But thanks for finally coming
to one of my school things.
457
00:14:50,262 --> 00:14:51,161
Looks fine to me.
458
00:14:51,229 --> 00:14:52,762
Well, let's not dig too deep.
459
00:14:52,831 --> 00:14:54,764
The point is my baby is safe.
460
00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:56,866
Listen, I want to tell you a story.
461
00:14:56,935 --> 00:14:58,234
Forget it! I don't want to hear
462
00:14:58,337 --> 00:14:59,836
how you bopped a bully in the nose!
463
00:14:59,938 --> 00:15:02,405
Adam, I was the bully.
464
00:15:02,474 --> 00:15:05,842
I was an unhappy kid, and I
took it out on other people.
465
00:15:05,910 --> 00:15:07,710
And you know when I stopped?
466
00:15:07,812 --> 00:15:12,214
When a kid was brave
enough to bop me back.
467
00:15:12,283 --> 00:15:14,750
I thought you could be that kid.
468
00:15:14,819 --> 00:15:16,318
I guess I was wrong.
469
00:15:16,387 --> 00:15:18,220
-
Tonight it's very clear
- In that moment,
470
00:15:18,255 --> 00:15:20,823
my dad made me realize I
could no longer run and hide.
471
00:15:20,892 --> 00:15:22,224
'Cause we're both lying here
472
00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:24,460
And that day, my sister realized
473
00:15:24,528 --> 00:15:25,961
she couldn't hide the truth.
474
00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:28,998
She knew in her heart she
didn't want to be the bad guy.
475
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,432
As hard as it was,
476
00:15:30,501 --> 00:15:32,968
she did the one thing she
thought she never would.
477
00:15:33,037 --> 00:15:37,439
-
I would never leave you alone
- I can't believe this is happening.
478
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:39,341
I'm sorry, Geoff.
479
00:15:39,377 --> 00:15:41,576
I thought being with you was
the only thing that mattered,
480
00:15:41,645 --> 00:15:43,411
but now I'm not so sure.
481
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,346
But we're supposed to be together.
482
00:15:45,382 --> 00:15:47,181
-
Some things I might regret
- Not this way.
483
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,783
We don't want to start our relationship
484
00:15:48,852 --> 00:15:50,318
by hurting someone else.
485
00:15:50,353 --> 00:15:51,920
-
It breaks my heart
- Then when?
486
00:15:52,022 --> 00:15:53,454
Not until it feels right.
487
00:15:53,524 --> 00:15:55,123
(Sighs) I'm such an idiot.
488
00:15:55,191 --> 00:15:57,725
-
I don't wanna lose you
- I've known you for 10 years,
489
00:15:57,793 --> 00:15:59,127
and the timing has never been right.
490
00:15:59,195 --> 00:16:00,895
-
I could never make it alone
- Someday.
491
00:16:00,930 --> 00:16:02,230
Hopefully.
492
00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:04,098
Hopefully.
493
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,767
(Music Playing)
494
00:16:06,836 --> 00:16:10,938
I am a man who will
fight for your honor
495
00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,073
Where are you going?
496
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:13,841
Dad was right.
497
00:16:13,876 --> 00:16:15,776
-
I'll be the hero
- It's time to stop running
498
00:16:15,878 --> 00:16:18,078
and face the other Adam
Goldberg once and for all.
499
00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:20,113
But you can't. You have a slight limp.
500
00:16:20,182 --> 00:16:21,649
-
We'll live forever
- If Daniel-san can fight
501
00:16:21,717 --> 00:16:23,751
with a messed-up leg, so can I!
502
00:16:23,819 --> 00:16:27,087
Daniel-san also had
his sensei by his side.
503
00:16:27,156 --> 00:16:28,422
And so shall you.
504
00:16:28,524 --> 00:16:30,057
Uncle Marvin, you came!
505
00:16:30,159 --> 00:16:33,560
I wasn't about to abandon my
star pupil in his time of need.
506
00:16:33,628 --> 00:16:37,997
Also, Bevy, I need to borrow $8,300.
507
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:38,831
More on that later.
508
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,267
Let's focus on that leg.
509
00:16:40,369 --> 00:16:42,902
(Humming)
510
00:16:42,938 --> 00:16:45,905
He's gonna use the ancient
wisdom of the Orient to save me.
511
00:16:45,974 --> 00:16:47,907
What? Oh, no, I was just
trying to think of a way
512
00:16:48,009 --> 00:16:49,075
for you to win this thing.
513
00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:50,276
(Humming)
514
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,711
I got nothing. You're a dead man.
515
00:16:51,813 --> 00:16:53,112
Out of my way.
516
00:16:53,181 --> 00:16:56,583
Look, schmoo, all I ever
wanted to do was protect you,
517
00:16:56,685 --> 00:16:58,651
but maybe this time,
518
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,687
protecting you actually
hurts you in the end.
519
00:17:00,755 --> 00:17:02,421
Does that mean you're
okay with Karate Club?
520
00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:03,722
Oh, God, no.
521
00:17:03,824 --> 00:17:06,225
I'll never stop worrying about you.
522
00:17:06,294 --> 00:17:08,127
But this is your battle.
523
00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:09,761
And if you need to fight for your honor,
524
00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:11,697
then you fight with
everything you've got.
525
00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:12,698
I will, Mama.
526
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:13,899
(Voice breaking) Now go be a man,
527
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:16,802
my delicious little baby boy.
528
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:23,008
I am a man who will
fight for your honor
529
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,410
Last chance to give up, Gold Nerd.
530
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,846
- Ha!
- Know what, other Adam?
531
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:29,648
I've had enough of this!
532
00:17:29,717 --> 00:17:32,417
Who cares about marketplace confusion?!
533
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:33,885
We're not that important!
534
00:17:33,954 --> 00:17:37,088
No one gives a crap about us but us!
535
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,323
Let's do this!
536
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,691
Yep, it was time to go get my ass kicked
537
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:41,959
in front of everyone.
538
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,894
Yeah, here's the thing.
539
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,431
I technically don't know how to, uh...
540
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:47,898
- (Music dies)
- Fight.
541
00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:49,834
What?! But you said you did.
542
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,269
It's called acting, bro.
543
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,537
I was certain you'd wuss out.
544
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:53,704
Really bit me in the ass here.
545
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,172
This is horrible!
546
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,541
We're gonna embarrass ourselves
in front of the whole school.
547
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,910
I know. It's like a nightmare
version of "Karate Kid."
548
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,445
Wait, you saw the movie?
549
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,114
I thought you hate big studio fare?
550
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,215
Eh... After I read your
review, I gave it a shot.
551
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,517
You're an okay writer.
552
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,686
Not good enough for books.
Maybe sitcoms or something.
553
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,154
Thanks.
554
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,223
Look, I really am sorry
about all the confusion.
555
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:16,527
Truth is... I'm a huge fan of your work.
556
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,495
I've always looked up to you.
557
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:21,298
I just... want to be friends.
558
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,932
Cool.
559
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,168
None of this changes the fact
560
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,602
that we're about to bomb out there.
561
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:28,104
Wait a minute... We
both do school theater,
562
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,807
we both know stage combat,
and we both know "Karate Kid."
563
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,575
- So?
- So what do you say
564
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:35,378
we go out there and give
those people a real show?
565
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,513
It's showtime!
566
00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:39,816
- I mean, aah!
- Aah!
567
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,317
- Hyah!
- Aah!
568
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:44,119
All right, the moment
we've been waiting for.
569
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,822
Due to injury, the
winner by default...
570
00:18:46,924 --> 00:18:49,325
(Whispers indistinctly)
571
00:18:49,427 --> 00:18:51,194
Adam Goldberg's gonna fight?
572
00:18:51,262 --> 00:18:53,329
Adam Goldberg is gonna fight!
573
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:55,130
(Cheers and applause)
574
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:58,767
(Joe Esposito's "You're the Best" plays)
575
00:18:58,869 --> 00:19:00,114
Try to be best
576
00:19:00,149 --> 00:19:01,937
-
'Cause you're only a man
- Take your bows.
577
00:19:01,972 --> 00:19:03,247
And a man's gotta
learn to take it
578
00:19:03,282 --> 00:19:04,420
Fight!
579
00:19:04,455 --> 00:19:06,175
And so the other Adam Goldberg and I
580
00:19:06,243 --> 00:19:08,944
acted out the final scene
of "Karate Kid" perfectly.
581
00:19:09,013 --> 00:19:10,212
Hyah!
582
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,480
(Crowd groans)
583
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:13,849
Fight!
584
00:19:13,918 --> 00:19:14,940
Never doubt that you're the one
585
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,085
- Hyah!
- Aah!
586
00:19:17,187 --> 00:19:18,286
It was an epic performance
587
00:19:18,355 --> 00:19:20,622
filled with fake
punches and flying kicks.
588
00:19:20,691 --> 00:19:21,856
Nothin's gonna
ever keep you down
589
00:19:21,891 --> 00:19:23,558
And it was awesome.
590
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:25,760
You're the best around
591
00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:28,263
I'm okay. I'm okay.
592
00:19:28,365 --> 00:19:29,731
- Hyah!
-
You're the best around
593
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:31,533
Aah!
594
00:19:31,602 --> 00:19:35,436
-(Crowd jeering)
-
Nothin's gonna ever
595
00:19:35,538 --> 00:19:37,404
Put him in a body bag, Adam!
596
00:19:37,473 --> 00:19:38,239
Which Adam?
597
00:19:38,341 --> 00:19:39,417
Uh, either one.
598
00:19:41,277 --> 00:19:42,543
You ready for your big finale?
599
00:19:42,612 --> 00:19:43,874
Our finale.
600
00:19:44,981 --> 00:19:47,314
Fight.
601
00:19:47,416 --> 00:19:48,882
Here it comes.
602
00:19:48,984 --> 00:19:50,016
No way.
603
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:52,853
Double crane kick? It can't be done.
604
00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:55,623
Ohh!
605
00:19:55,725 --> 00:19:56,857
(Crowd gasps)
606
00:19:56,959 --> 00:19:58,158
That's a tie.
607
00:19:58,261 --> 00:20:00,394
Both nerds get to keep their name.
608
00:20:00,496 --> 00:20:01,762
(Cheers and applause)
609
00:20:01,864 --> 00:20:03,964
You're the best around
610
00:20:04,066 --> 00:20:06,166
Nothin's gonna
ever keep you down
611
00:20:06,268 --> 00:20:08,969
You're the best around
612
00:20:09,037 --> 00:20:11,104
Nothin's gonna
ever keep you down
613
00:20:11,206 --> 00:20:13,974
You're the best around
614
00:20:14,076 --> 00:20:15,608
Nothin's gonna
ever keep you down
615
00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:17,510
He learned that move from me.
616
00:20:17,612 --> 00:20:20,064
_
617
00:20:21,116 --> 00:20:23,149
- Hyah!
- Oh, no! Don't hurt me!
618
00:20:23,251 --> 00:20:24,550
Ow!
619
00:20:24,653 --> 00:20:27,086
He's coming in with a right and a left.
620
00:20:27,155 --> 00:20:29,689
Stop it, Barry. You
almost broke that light!
621
00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:32,789
Wow, we're in a real karate class.
622
00:20:33,043 --> 00:20:34,663
This is gonna be so much fun.
623
00:20:34,631 --> 00:20:36,474
I hear the sensei's a really good guy.
624
00:20:36,704 --> 00:20:39,292
Love exists in this dojo, doesn't it?
625
00:20:39,327 --> 00:20:40,455
- Yes, master!
- Yes, master!
626
00:20:40,524 --> 00:20:43,391
Kindness exists in
this dojo, doesn't it?
627
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:44,759
- Yes, master!
- Yes, master!
628
00:20:44,861 --> 00:20:48,062
Everyone is a special winner
in this dojo, aren't they?
629
00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:49,630
- Yes, master!
- Yes, master!
630
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:50,965
And what do we study here?
631
00:20:51,067 --> 00:20:54,035
- Hug first, hug hard, show mercy.
- Hug first, hug hard, show mercy.
632
00:20:54,137 --> 00:20:55,636
Hey, you're the best around.
633
00:20:55,738 --> 00:20:57,605
- Nothing's gonna ever keep you down.
- (Both laugh) (Grunts)
634
00:20:57,610 --> 00:21:00,750
Synced and Corrected by YesCool
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635
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:05,350
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