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1
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(Engine splutters and dies)
2
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,180
(Lovejoy) Aargh!
3
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,279
(Engine splutters and dies)
4
00:00:56,322 --> 00:01:00,782
But, if you haven't seen her for months, how
can you be so sure she's not going to be there?
5
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:04,319
One of the things you learn if you've been
married to a woman for 11 years
6
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:08,596
is whether or not she goes to parents' day.
Susan doesn't.
7
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:12,695
But Vicky's your only child.
Doesn't Susan care?
8
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,570
Oh, she cares. She's adamant.
9
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:17,508
Parents' day is the one day a year
when you get to meet the teachers,
10
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:21,173
discuss academic prospects
and plan for the future.
11
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,240
Susan thinks Vicky's smart enough
to handle the staff on her own.
12
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:27,344
That's why she never goes.
Well, so do I. That's why I always go.
13
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,750
Will Vicky want me there?
14
00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:32,921
Course she wants you there! She adores you!
15
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,258
Oh, all right. I'll go.
But I'm not wearing the tiara.
16
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,230
I'll see you tomorrow, Lovejoy.
17
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,236
(Bell rings, door closes)
18
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:49,367
Brains, beauty and a working car.
What more does a person need?
19
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,570
- Fine arts.
- Eh?
20
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:55,775
That's what you need.
We should be dealing with more classy stuff.
21
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,750
- More arts.
- You don't know your arts from your elbow.
22
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,776
Yeah, ell I'm doing a course, aren't I?
23
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:06,190
Well, it's more a creative workshop actually.
A self-stimulating community of artists.
24
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:10,890
- I'm gonna open the door to my inner self.
- No, you're not. You're gonna get me a drink.
25
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,702
- Mr. Lovejoy?
- Yes?
26
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:19,296
I'd like you to sell some prints for me.
27
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:21,933
- Some Fuselis.
- Fuselis?
28
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,908
- (Whispers) I'll have the drink now, Eric.
- Eh?
29
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:32,008
This is a bound folio of original prints.
30
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,112
Looks genuine.
Quite a find for a teenager, Miss?
31
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,990
How much are they worth?
Can you value them?
32
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,686
Aren't you gonna take a look?
33
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,254
(Gasps) We can't sell these!
34
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,226
But they must be worth thousands.
35
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:53,103
After the Marquis de Sade, Fuseli was the
greatest pornographer of the 18th century!
36
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:58,571
- Doesn't he know that?
- Well, he's more of an inner-self man.
37
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,910
Pornography's a closed door to me. I don't
see the point in peeking through the keyhole.
38
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,645
It's just a bare room.
What you see is dull and obvious.
39
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:09,382
It's all sex, but with all
the passion and intensity locked out.
40
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,788
This is not pornography.
41
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,987
A man's whole being went into this.
No two hairs are the same.
42
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,554
No two skins have the same texture.
43
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:22,295
He never uses the same light, color,
gesture, shadow, movement.
44
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:25,202
Instead of locking out our senses,
he draws them in.
45
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:29,231
Warmth, touch, emotion, passion.
46
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:33,003
Look at Fuseli. Door's open.
47
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,775
Can you sell them?
48
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:39,080
A young woman arrives on my doorstep
with an armful of priceless erotica.
49
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,848
Course I can sell 'em when I get over the shock.
50
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,116
How long will that take?
51
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,023
Ooh, a couple of days on Valiums
and I'll get back to you.
52
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,653
- I take it you're not the owner?
- What?
53
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,154
- Who are you working for?
- Oh.
54
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,393
I, um... I can't say.
55
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:58,302
I don't blame you. If I was them,
I wouldn't want to shout about it either.
56
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,863
If I need to get in touch with you,
where will I phone you?
57
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,602
I'll phone you.
58
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,048
- No car.
- How did you get here?
59
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:24,293
- On the train.
- At least you had something to read.
60
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:33,501
(Chatter and laughter)
61
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,811
(Cheering)
62
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,182
(Applause)
63
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,721
Where the hell has Vicky got to now?
64
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,021
She's just popped to the refreshment tent.
65
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,620
This is the refreshment tent!
66
00:04:55,662 --> 00:05:00,190
- This is the third from arts and crafts.
- They've got Pimm's.
67
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:03,430
Why else would anyone come
to third form arts and crafts?
68
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,630
(Woman) Excuse me! Excuse me.
69
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:09,108
- You're obscuring Lavinia's still life.
- Oh! Excuse me. Excuse me, girls.
70
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:13,738
- (Lavinia) That's my painting.
- Oh, is it? It's charming. Delightful.
71
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,146
- Well done, Lavinia.
- Thank you.
72
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,909
You total creep. I bet you were head girl
in your day, weren't you?
73
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,545
Of course.
74
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,453
- (Girl) Mum!
- Darling!
75
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,960
- Where are we going?
- Refreshment tent.
76
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,623
Sweetheart, I've just been
to the refreshment tent!
77
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,861
You stranded me there with
Mrs. Harrington-Morse half an hour ago.
78
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,597
- I thought you wanted to meet them!
- I wanted to meet him.
79
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,468
He's an important client.
80
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:43,339
I don't understand it. The man manufactures
sofabeds, why did he have to marry one?
81
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,867
- Mum!
- Well, it's your holiday.
82
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:50,747
But all the champagne and Jacuzzis in the world
wouldn't entice me into Homestead Mansions.
83
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,482
Mum, there's something I haven't told you.
84
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,283
- Dad's here.
- Darling, why didn't you tell me?
85
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,813
- What a lovely surprise!
- Well, I wouldn't bank on it.
86
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:02,521
He's brought someone with him
because he didn't expect you to be here either.
87
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:07,022
Clearly! Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
Is she embarrassingly young?
88
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,198
See for yourself.
89
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:11,301
(Susan) Lovejoy!
90
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,931
Susie! You look wonderful.
What are you doing here?
91
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,567
- I was Vicky's surprise.
- I must be yours.
92
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:20,477
Jane, Susan, my mother.
Mum, Lady Jane Felsham.
93
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,481
- Lovejoy's...
- Landlady.
94
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,380
- I don't believe it.
- I beg your pardon?
95
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:27,250
Mr. Harrington-Morse!
We meet again. How nice.
96
00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:30,084
As I was saying, I want
to get into your bedroom, Susan.
97
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,216
I want to get into everybody's bedroom
98
00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:36,558
and replace that six-foot-by-four-foot
piece of clutter with a Homestead sofabed.
99
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:39,759
"Pull me up a put-you-up and pick me up!"
Our slogan. What do you think?
100
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:43,599
Mr. Harrington-Morse is chief executive
of Homestead, the sofabed company.
101
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,002
Mr. And Mrs. Harrington-Morse,
this is Lovejoy...
102
00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:48,063
- Mr. Lovejoy.
...my husband. Ex-husband.
103
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:50,473
- And Lady Jane Felsham, Lovejoy's...
- How do you do?
104
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,534
Landlady.
105
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,478
- What do you do, Lovejoy?
- Six months in the nick as a rule.
106
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,812
Really? What do you sleep on?
107
00:06:57,683 --> 00:07:01,619
(Woman) Pass me some lemon, please, Sonia.
(Girl) There you go.
108
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,520
Now I definitely need a Pimm's.
109
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,629
With a man like that you
don't need a bed to fall asleep,
110
00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:14,098
you're nodding off after the first sentence!
111
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,794
Excuse me. Sorry. Thank you.
112
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,694
What on earth made you say that about prison?
113
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,002
- It's true, isn't it?
- Well, of course it's true.
114
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:26,240
If it wasn't true, I wouldn't want you to lie about
it. Don't they teach you anything at this school?
115
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,543
- Enough.
- Uh... a Pimm's, please.
116
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,070
Lovely, thank you.
117
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,050
(Pop music playing)
118
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:36,613
- Ah!
- Ah!
119
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:40,217
Victoria's parents.
How nice to meet you both... together.
120
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:45,162
I've been meaning to speak to you. There seems
to be a mix-up over this term's school fees.
121
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,894
Your husband must have
overlooked the payment, Mrs. Lovejoy.
122
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,664
- This isn't Mrs. Lovejoy.
- Indeed?
123
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:54,696
Indeed. Jane, Miss Hemmingway.
Miss Hemmingway, my landlady, Lady Felsham.
124
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,938
Oh, Lady Felsham. It's so good of you
to take an interest in Vicky.
125
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,004
A nice child. Despite all the difficulties.
126
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,581
What line of business are
you pursuing now, Mr. Lovejoy?
127
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,086
- The same.
- I see.
128
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,384
Lovejoy and I work together.
129
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,447
Oh!
130
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,985
Are you in antiques, Lady Felsham? I've been
looking for someone reliable for the library.
131
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:19,327
We're refurbishing.
We have one or two fine collections.
132
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:22,095
The insurance company insists on a valuation.
133
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:25,592
I couldn't be an awful bore
and trouble you for an opinion, could I?
134
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:29,005
Well, one of us really ought to wait here
for Susan and Vicky,
135
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:32,272
but I'm sure Lovejoy would be
delighted to give you a view.
136
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,041
- Oh.
- Books, more his area.
137
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,549
Oh. Well...
138
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,108
Very well. Come along, Mr. Lovejoy.
139
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,317
What are you doing?
140
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,622
This is a golden opportunity
to change her impression of you.
141
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:49,719
If you please, Mr. Lovejoy.
142
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,496
- You're ruining these books.
- I beg your pardon?
143
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,500
A fine collection of Victorian
theology displayed on these.
144
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,605
- These walnut cabinets?
- Yes, but open to the air, humidity,
145
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:13,415
- constant temperature changes, varnish taint.
- I see. And you would recommend what?
146
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:18,219
- Modern, hermetically-sealed shelving units.
- Rather expensive, I fear.
147
00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:22,751
Yes, but as a parent and for Badenside,
I could always arrange a part exchange.
148
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,457
Yes, I'm sure you always could, Mr. Lovejoy.
149
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,657
But no.
150
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:32,159
Perhaps it's silly of me, but I really
can't imagine the library without them.
151
00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,662
- After all, they have been here since 1704.
- Hm.
152
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:40,145
Now, as to the fees, school ends on Thursday,
153
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:43,376
- and I shall expect full payment.
- (Door opens)
154
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,345
Khadija! What are you doing in there?
155
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,648
The Mistresses' Library
is strictly out of bounds to girls.
156
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:53,989
I...
157
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:57,826
I was looking for the railway timetables.
When I couldn't find them...
158
00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:01,924
You're boarding here during the holidays,
why would you want a timetable?
159
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:05,131
- Train spotting.
- Don't be impertinent, Khadija.
160
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,662
- How did you get in?
- The door was unlocked...
161
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,403
Nonsense. That door is never unlocked.
162
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:15,244
The contents are irreplaceable. Khadija,
you will report to my study immediately.
163
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,683
(Locks door)
164
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,020
You must excuse me, Mr. Lovejoy.
165
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:34,489
- Go on, Mummy. I've made loads and loads.
- Lovely, darling.
166
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,300
Ooh, Lavinia.
167
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,400
Oh, Vicky! Excuse me. Excuse me, ladies.
168
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,569
Jane, excuse me. Vicky...
169
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:48,171
Do you know a girl called Khadija?
170
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:51,877
Oh, yeah! You know Richie Subhani,
the newspaper proprietor?
171
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,976
- She's his daughter.
- Rich, eh?
172
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,545
Oh, stinking! Mum.
173
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,752
Father claims to be a devout Muslim.
All his daughters come here.
174
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:04,661
Unlike you, he recognizes a good working
medieval torture chamber when he sees one.
175
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,892
- Do you take sugar?
- No, no I don't.
176
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:10,995
- Yeah. What do you make of her?
- Well, the typical "Miss milk monitor" type.
177
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,767
- Straight and narrow, eh?
- Oh, sticks to it like superglue.
178
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:17,037
Aisha, that's her older sister,
used to be pretty wild, but she's left now.
179
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:20,637
Gone to Fairfax College in Cambridge.
Why did you wanna know anyway?
180
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:25,242
Well, Miss Hemmingway and I just bumped into
her coming out of the Mistresses' Library.
181
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,878
- What Khadija?
- Yeah, Khadija.
182
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,889
Look, Mum. He's eating one. Go on!
183
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,515
(Indistinct)
184
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,193
Go on!
185
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,954
So what did Picasso use?
186
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:41,125
After his Blue Period,
he tended to favor black.
187
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:45,202
- Ah! Braque, now I've heard of him.
- No, black!
188
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:48,035
Braque turned to red, that's why they fell out.
189
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,373
Ah. And Cézanne tended
to use more traditional materials.
190
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,311
Pastel colors and a felt tip.
191
00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:57,782
- Mostly green.
- Oh, I don't know about green.
192
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,614
It's a bit military.
193
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,083
- No, I think I'll stick to the black.
- You're sure?
194
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:06,353
Yeah. If it's good enough for Picasso,
it's good enough for me.
195
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,226
One felt tip... in black.
196
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,559
Yes!
197
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,463
(Laughs)
198
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,365
Cézanne, eh?
199
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,996
Cos I'm a bit of an impressionist
myself, you know.
200
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,533
Chuck Berry. (Laughs)
201
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,974
Chuck...
202
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:28,036
Yeah, well, I'll take some of this goulash
while I'm here as well. (Clears throat)
203
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,707
- Right. Till Thursday, then.
- Thursday?
204
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,812
- I've arranged to meet Mr. And Mrs. Sofabed.
- Ugh.
205
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,119
So that we can see Vicky off on her holiday.
206
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:39,647
- (Engine starts)
- Don't worry.
207
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:43,651
I'll treat you to a light supper afterwards.
We really ought to get together more often.
208
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:46,221
- Oh, Susan.
- Lovejoy.
209
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,825
Thursday. I'll pick you up.
210
00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:57,401
(Tannoy) Will the parent who has
parked the Range Rover with the horse box
211
00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,503
at the front gate, blocking it,
please move it immediately.
212
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:04,607
- Where's the money?
- I'm trying to get it! I think I've found a way!
213
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,778
Taking our time, aren't we lovey?
Perhaps we'd better go and see Daddy after all.
214
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:11,551
- No, you mustn't! I'll get it, I promise.
- I don't take promises.
215
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,252
- Just a few more days.
- (Engine starts)
216
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:18,788
- Two more days, then it's bye-bye Bobby.
- Bye-bye.
217
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:23,968
Who's Bobby?
218
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,334
You in some sort of trouble?
219
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:29,137
Khadija Subhani, I told you
to report to my study immediately.
220
00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:33,006
I've got to go.
221
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:38,980
This is disgusting.
And she looked like such a nice girl.
222
00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:41,648
Don't be so ready to condemn, Eric.
223
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,212
She's not the kind of girl
who owns pornography.
224
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,520
- Isn't she?
- Nah, she steals it.
225
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:58,027
Agh! Why don't you learn to drive?
226
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,061
Well, at least it goes.
227
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,376
Just wait here a moment if you wouldn't mind.
228
00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:08,437
(Sighs)
229
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,955
Please go in.
230
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,065
I'm intrigued.
231
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,400
Tell me, Mr. Lovejoy.
What made you think of me?
232
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:35,430
Instinct. Pure antiquarian instinct.
233
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,669
I see. Your instinct...
234
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,316
Your instinct told you
this was a school possession.
235
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,684
A rare and valuable one.
236
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:54,091
What kind of parent imagines his daughter's
exclusive public school collects pornography?
237
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:57,118
As for your instincts, I think
the least said about them the better.
238
00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:59,528
You mean the Fuselis
don't belong to Badenside?
239
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,362
Certainly not.
240
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,359
And if that disappoints you, perhaps
Vicky would be happier at a comprehensive.
241
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,862
Good day, Mr. Lovejoy.
242
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,148
- (Car horn)
- (Tires screech)
243
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,481
- Naughty.
- That's what Miss Hemmingway said.
244
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,615
(Laughs) I'm not surprised.
245
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,593
Fuseli has a very elongated style.
246
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,095
Do you think so? I always admired his realism.
247
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,161
- Realism?
- Mm.
248
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:36,292
But... no two human beings can do that.
249
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,236
At least, not to each other.
250
00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,064
Don't even think it.
251
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,806
- What are you going to do with them?
- I'm gonna find out where they came from.
252
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,608
Well, the girl obviously didn't
steal them from the school.
253
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,514
- Maybe they're a family heirloom.
- (Sighs)
254
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,575
Cor! Dear me!
255
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,714
(Pop music and voices in background)
256
00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:04,454
Can I come in, Khadija? Oh, that's nice.
Is that what you're wearing to the wedding?
257
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,929
No!
258
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,490
Oh, um... Perhaps to the reception.
259
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,528
You know, it seems only yesterday
that your sister was here.
260
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,665
This was Aisha's study as well.
261
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:20,203
Now she's getting married. To a Khan, no less.
262
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,236
Your father must be thrilled.
263
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,909
Yes.
264
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:27,948
The Khans are a very important Muslim family.
265
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:32,388
If there's anything you need,
your father's made ample arrangements.
266
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:35,587
We could go shopping. If you need money...
267
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,686
No, I don't.
268
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,255
I thought that was why you'd stolen the Fuselis.
269
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:45,202
No. I didn't take the Fuselis because
I needed money, I told you.
270
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,569
I wasn't going to sell them.
271
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:51,337
- I don't need money.
- Well, you must have had a reason.
272
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,174
Why didn't you tell me?
273
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:56,673
Because you were so beastly to Aisha.
274
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,819
Khadija, is everything all right?
275
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,616
Yes.
276
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,088
I know you're very close to your sister.
277
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,693
Oh, I understand. You feel left out.
278
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,289
People do get married, you know.
279
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:15,767
You'll find that out
for yourself sooner or later.
280
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,897
It doesn't mean that people forget about
their friends and their family, it just means...
281
00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:24,034
- You never liked Aisha, did you?
- Well, of course I did. She was my pupil.
282
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:27,375
But she caused us a lot of
anxiety running away like that.
283
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,881
Disappearing for a whole week
for no good reason.
284
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,110
It was for a reason.
285
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,415
But it was her business, not yours.
286
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,452
Aisha was still a pupil, a pupil at my school.
287
00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:40,754
That makes it my business
and my responsibility.
288
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,819
As for the Fuselis, you're very lucky, Khadija.
289
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,854
As it happens, I don't want it made public.
290
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,197
I can't afford a scandal in my school.
291
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,126
So I've given them away.
292
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:58,638
As far as I'm concerned,
that's the end of the matter. All right?
293
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,586
(Man) Hello, Lovejoy!
294
00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:21,261
- Not your usual line.
- No, I'm looking after them for a schoolgirl.
295
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:25,202
Oh, I understand. No names, no pack drill.
296
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,338
We'd better go through to the back.
297
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,970
Tidy... Very, very tidy, Lovejoy.
298
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,844
The only thing I ask is, please,
don't tell me where you got them.
299
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,352
I already have. I wanna know
where my client got them.
300
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:43,684
Yes, you can't be too careful, can you?
301
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:48,057
I don't know, though.
It's very difficult to provenance quality.
302
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,221
- There's only one or two specialists, you see.
- So who do they belong to?
303
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,790
If I knew that one, I'd have nicked them myself.
How much do you want?
304
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,927
I don't want to sell them,
I wanna know where they came from.
305
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,837
Well, a big collector. That's for certain.
306
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,534
Not one of mine, though.
307
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:06,476
- You could try the Shevandin collection.
- Shevandin? That's tourist junk, isn't it?
308
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,709
It happens to be our annual do, Lovejoy.
309
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,875
You can leave this with me, if you like.
(Laughing)
310
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,977
You don't want to be caught carrying
around dodgy stuff, now, do you?
311
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,215
If there's a reward, Taffy, I'll need it myself.
312
00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,919
- You're not paying rent at last, are you?
- No. School fees.
313
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:24,751
(Sighs)
314
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:26,728
(Wind blowing)
315
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,061
(Bell)
316
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,833
Ah! The train spotter.
317
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:37,339
- I've brought some more prints.
- Timetables?
318
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,434
No.
319
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:45,578
Fragonard, Daumier, Géricault and Raimondi.
320
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:50,412
- Do you know my daughter, Vicky?
- Not very well. She's a year behind me.
321
00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:52,389
Yeah, at least.
322
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:55,825
- Is this more porn?
- Haven't you heard of Fragonard?
323
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,453
- He went to a comprehensive.
- Oh.
324
00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,329
Where did you get these from?
You steal them from your father?
325
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,664
God, no. And I'm not a criminal
if that's what you think.
326
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,432
Oh, no. You're just
a run-of-the-mill sixth former.
327
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,668
Latin, French and a hundred
grand's worth of antique erotica.
328
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:13,269
I'm not a little girl, either. Don't patronize me.
329
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,243
We must have a deal.
I don't know where else to go.
330
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:19,814
I need a quick sale.
331
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,317
- How did you get here?
- I came by train.
332
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:27,291
For such a train enthusiast, you don't know
much about the Eastern Region do you?
333
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,726
- (Baaing)
- We're a bit isolated here.
334
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:33,527
There's only two trains a day. One at 7:30
to bring the station master to work,
335
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:37,433
and one at five o'clock
to take him home. Baaaaaaa!
336
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,735
Oh, nice books. Where do you steal 'em?
337
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,504
You!
338
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,508
You stupid little cow.
You said you'd found a buyer!
339
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,675
He is. He's an antiques dealer.
340
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,742
- He's been in prison.
- Get in the car.
341
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,980
No, wait.
342
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:59,149
- I don't like bullies.
- My dear chap.
343
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,923
- I'm an old friend of the family.
- Ooh!
344
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,029
What happened?
345
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:09,124
- (Car horn)
- Ooh!
346
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:12,193
- What's going on?
- Who was that maniac?
347
00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,534
Get in.
348
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,304
- What's going on?
- Just get in, Eric.
349
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:22,647
- (Eric) She almost killed me!
- That would be some compensation!
350
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,910
(Susan) Miss Hemmingway
phoned from Badenside.
351
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:32,447
Honestly, Lovejoy, I can understand you
trying to strip the shelves from her library.
352
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:35,688
I can even understand the school fees
being six months in arrears.
353
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,389
What on earth possessed you
to offer the woman pornography?
354
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,331
- Well, there was this schoolgirl...
- I've never been so embarrassed.
355
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:42,355
(Lovejoy sighs)
356
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:45,234
(Susan) She said perhaps you were
confused over methods of payment.
357
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:49,570
They take cash, checks, standing orders,
banker's drafts and covenants.
358
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:53,567
What they do not accept is
18th century porn on account.
359
00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,737
- Where are we going?
- (Lovejoy) To London.
360
00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:59,808
If that maniac wants to sell those books,
that's where he's got to go.
361
00:21:59,851 --> 00:22:03,014
(Susan) What books?
(Eric) The 18th century porn.
362
00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:06,320
(Susan) Uh! Slow down, Lovejoy!
You'll have us all in the ditch!
363
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,924
(Susan) You're really a liability.
364
00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:16,759
- Eric, get us a taxi.
- But, this is the auction room.
365
00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:18,667
Do you wanna walk home, Eric?
Get us a taxi!
366
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:21,696
But we're supposed to be saying
goodbye to Vicky for the holiday.
367
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:24,504
I've arranged to meet the Harrington-Morses
at the Savoy for tea!
368
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,534
Can't make it. I've got to find Khadija.
369
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,046
- I'm sorry. It's very important.
- But so is Vicky.
370
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,515
- Here's our taxi.
- Your taxi.
371
00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:34,417
- My taxi?
- Your taxi. I need the car Susan.
372
00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:37,047
Eric, these are the auction rooms.
Get out of the cab.
373
00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:38,317
- Hey?
- Out!
374
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,918
- Savoy, sir?
- Lovejoy, that's not for two hours yet!
375
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,123
I've got to get my hair done.
Although I'll go back to the office first.
376
00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:50,328
Not the Savoy, Berwick Street.
Harrington-Morse is one of my biggest clients!
377
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,566
Oh, my God! The market research. Fetters Lane!
378
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:57,769
Lovejoy, if my car isn't at
the Savoy by 3p.m., I'll kill you!
379
00:22:57,809 --> 00:23:00,334
And if you're not there,
I'll never speak to you again.
380
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:03,109
And another thing!
381
00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:07,811
- What made you get married, Lovejoy?
- I talked her into it.
382
00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:11,615
What about the car? It's on a yellow line.
383
00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,647
- Well, you deal with it!
- (Sighs)
384
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:42,476
Lot number 66.
385
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:47,187
Victorian, One Upturned Lady
Having Fallen Off Bike.
386
00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:51,559
Artist unknown, but a fine piece
of craftsmanship. What am I bid?
387
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,356
Who'll start me on £100?
388
00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:56,765
- Do I hear 120?
- (Whispering) Hello, Sam.
389
00:23:56,802 --> 00:24:00,135
- (Auctioneer) 120. Thank you.
- Seen any Fuseli, Fragonard,
390
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:03,005
Daumier, Géricault?
391
00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:05,407
- No, I haven't.
- (Auctioneer)... with you madam.
392
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:09,574
Are you sure you're interested, dear boy? Rather
beyond your pocket I would have thought.
393
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:14,313
- I'm not buying, Sam. I'm retrieving.
- Ah! Cheaper.
394
00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:19,353
Far more difficult.
This is a somewhat secretive market.
395
00:24:19,391 --> 00:24:21,120
Who are the major collectors?
396
00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:27,098
Dear boy, were I able to name names,
I would have retired on the wages of extortion.
397
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:31,466
Sensitive, you see. Dirty books.
398
00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:33,733
Who's selling, Sam?
399
00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:42,304
There is a frisson in the trade.
Certain wealthy parties wait with bated breath.
400
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:45,746
Not, sadly, that they are of my
personal acquaintance,
401
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:48,981
this job doesn't pay tremendously well.
402
00:24:49,020 --> 00:24:50,487
- Please.
- Shh.
403
00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:53,958
Have some respect for the confidentiality
of the saleroom.
404
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:56,051
(Auctioneer) 1900.
405
00:24:56,094 --> 00:24:58,289
- 1900, thank you.
- Welshman with a gun shop.
406
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,763
Taffy Griffiths.
407
00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:03,261
(Auctioneer) 2,000. Do I hear 2,100?
408
00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:05,864
I'm selling at 2,000.
409
00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:09,237
This morning he was talking about a collection.
410
00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:12,334
- A tidy one, by all accounts.
- Oh.
411
00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:15,505
Lot number 68, My Adonis.
412
00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:17,139
Do I hear £50?
413
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,207
Good heavens.
414
00:25:19,251 --> 00:25:21,048
Cor, look at that.
415
00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:24,055
Thank you. Do I hear 55?
416
00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:27,422
I'm selling. Going once, going twice...
417
00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:30,758
(Bangs gavel) Sold for £50
to the gentleman in the beret.
418
00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,956
Oh, Eric, what have you done?
419
00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:39,865
(Eric sighs)
420
00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:43,341
- Give me the keys, Eric.
- I mean, what am I gonna do with this?
421
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:45,502
I dunno. You bought it, you must've liked it.
422
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,910
Well, I'll never be able to shift it round our way.
423
00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:49,937
I mean, it's disgusting.
424
00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:52,374
What's up?
425
00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:54,782
(Door opens)
426
00:25:54,819 --> 00:25:57,413
(Lovejoy) You're closing for lunch, Taffy.
427
00:25:57,455 --> 00:25:59,821
Excuse me, please. Just one moment.
428
00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,416
What the bloody hell is this?
429
00:26:01,459 --> 00:26:05,452
This morning I was relieved of
a very fine collection of antique erotica.
430
00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:08,057
- Lovejoy... please!
- And now you are flooding the market.
431
00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:09,726
What the hell's going on, Taffy?
432
00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:11,998
Lovejoy, I'm an honest trader, me.
433
00:26:12,037 --> 00:26:15,632
Do you think I'd be stupid enough
to mess around with stolen goods if I knew?
434
00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:17,835
Well, what do you expect, a thief-by date?
435
00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:20,344
Look, if I'd known they were your stolen goods,
436
00:26:20,378 --> 00:26:23,108
believe me, man, I'd have been
on the phone like a shot.
437
00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:25,844
Taffy, Taffy, Taffy, Taffy.
When it comes to sourcing pictures,
438
00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:28,819
you know who wants 'em, who's got 'em
and who'll drive the getaway car.
439
00:26:28,853 --> 00:26:32,414
Look, I swear to you, man,
I'm as embarrassed as you are.
440
00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:34,516
I didn't even know they existed.
441
00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:37,460
- Taffy.
- Look, I can prove it you.
442
00:26:37,495 --> 00:26:40,328
Garner, his name was, right,
the man who brought the stuff in.
443
00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:44,631
I've put him onto a buyer. I know where
they're going to be meeting this afternoon.
444
00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,000
Good.
445
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,201
(Thwack, man grunts)
446
00:26:49,874 --> 00:26:51,865
Stay there till I come back.
447
00:26:55,413 --> 00:26:57,142
I never had a headmistress like that.
448
00:26:57,182 --> 00:26:59,514
No, she is rather special, isn't she?
449
00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:02,179
Mind you, I prefer Miss Hemmingway.
450
00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:06,850
She's the real thing, and she looks
as if she could be really strict.
451
00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:09,155
- Yes, well.
- Pure fantasy, dear chap.
452
00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:12,630
Still, it's my daughter's school, and she has
asked me to become a parent governor,
453
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:15,758
- so you never know.
- Good Lord.
454
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,633
Up there a couple of days ago. Breathtaking.
455
00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,535
- Small world.
- Pardon?
456
00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:22,563
Have you, erm, made up your mind yet?
457
00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:25,269
- Not sure. A bit fussy, aren't they?
- Fussy?
458
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,642
Yeah, arty, can't see what's going on.
459
00:27:27,679 --> 00:27:29,510
I thought you were a collector.
460
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:33,311
- 5,000.
- They're worth six times that amount.
461
00:27:34,552 --> 00:27:36,713
Of course, I'll need proof of ownership.
462
00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,313
(Woman whooping)
463
00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,852
5,000.
464
00:27:40,892 --> 00:27:42,826
(Woman sighs contentedly)
465
00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:46,120
(Eric) Well, that's Garner's car.
466
00:27:47,198 --> 00:27:51,066
But it doesn't look like the kind of place
you'd bring a load of hooky porn.
467
00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:53,696
- Looks like my mum's.
- It's suburbia, Eric.
468
00:27:53,738 --> 00:27:55,729
It's the same everywhere.
469
00:27:55,774 --> 00:27:57,799
Number 15's wife-swapped with number 12,
470
00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,003
number 8's chopped up his dogs,
got 'em in the freezer,
471
00:28:00,045 --> 00:28:03,537
and number 29 here, he's got
an amphetamine laboratory in his garage.
472
00:28:03,581 --> 00:28:05,412
Oh, get off.
473
00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:09,784
I mean, look at that bloke, he's just an
accountant or something going home for his tea.
474
00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,546
Probably doesn't even have a dog.
475
00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:20,259
(Doorbell rings)
476
00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,377
Look!
477
00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,882
Eric!
478
00:28:41,519 --> 00:28:44,682
(Engine starts, tires squeal)
479
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,590
- (Lovejoy) "Pick me up a put-you-up"!
- Eh?
480
00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:49,354
Pillow talk.
481
00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:09,641
(Tires squeal)
482
00:29:25,230 --> 00:29:27,221
Khadija!
483
00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:34,102
Eric, no! The girl! Get the girl!
484
00:29:38,209 --> 00:29:39,540
(Both laugh)
485
00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:42,137
- I once had a crush on Bros.
- Oh, you're joking.
486
00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:44,080
I did. Must've lasted a whole month.
487
00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:47,209
- Oh, I don't believe it. How could you?
- I don't know.
488
00:29:47,252 --> 00:29:50,085
- I was into The Cult myself.
- They're great, aren't they?
489
00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,112
My mum wouldn't let me
have my ears pierced, though.
490
00:29:52,157 --> 00:29:53,419
- Why not?
- I don't know.
491
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,653
- My mum's got her ears pierced.
- Has she?
492
00:29:55,693 --> 00:29:58,890
- Is she into The Cult?
- No. She's more a Motörhead freak.
493
00:29:58,930 --> 00:30:00,921
(Both laugh)
494
00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:02,956
- (Sighs) More champagne?
- You sure?
495
00:30:03,001 --> 00:30:05,196
Yes. Mum won't bother us.
496
00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:07,033
She's got a Volvo full of jumble,
497
00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:10,632
and she's going round all the houses
for some poor unsuspecting cause.
498
00:30:10,675 --> 00:30:13,974
And Dad takes hours and hours
when he's on business.
499
00:30:14,012 --> 00:30:17,948
- Oops. (Laughs)
- So... what are the sights?
500
00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:20,678
Well, this is the garden.
501
00:30:20,718 --> 00:30:22,117
Yes.
502
00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:24,144
And that's the gardener.
503
00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:30,051
- Ooh.
- (Laughs)
504
00:30:30,094 --> 00:30:32,995
Who stole the books, Khadija?
Was it you or Garner?
505
00:30:34,365 --> 00:30:36,356
Where did they come from?
506
00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:39,626
What do you need the money for?
507
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:42,868
That's my business. Where are we going?
508
00:30:42,907 --> 00:30:47,003
You're gonna have to tell somebody something
because you're making a pig's ear of this.
509
00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:48,478
Why don't you leave me alone?
510
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:51,073
Because I've done two rounds
with a car door and a suitcase
511
00:30:51,115 --> 00:30:54,141
and because you might look like
an innocent schoolgirl but you're a liar
512
00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:57,416
- and a tout for a petty crook.
- He's not a crook.
513
00:30:57,455 --> 00:30:59,320
He's a chemist.
514
00:31:01,926 --> 00:31:04,656
I see. Thank you, Matron.
515
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,687
You're going to have to
come back later, Charlotte.
516
00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:10,189
I'm just going to Khadija's room. If there are
any calls, I'll be back in ten minutes.
517
00:31:10,235 --> 00:31:12,169
(Indistinct)
518
00:31:35,793 --> 00:31:37,351
Lovejoy?
519
00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:49,670
(♪ Saxophone music playing on stereo)
520
00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:02,952
Oh, hi, Dad.
521
00:32:02,987 --> 00:32:06,388
- You're late for the Savoy. Mum was furious.
- So was mine...
522
00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:08,324
- Sorry about this, Vicky.
- How embarrassing.
523
00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:12,261
- Holidays are over, you're coming home.
- Mr. Lovejoy, what is the meaning of this?
524
00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:16,734
I'm taking my daughter out of this house.
I only wish you could do the same thing.
525
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,760
Really? Well, if I'd known you were such a thug
526
00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:23,865
I would never have let your daughter
in my house in the first place.
527
00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:27,868
I can see where she gets
her sense of discipline from.
528
00:32:27,912 --> 00:32:30,710
Well, you should see
where your husband gets his.
529
00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:35,010
Move over.
530
00:32:36,187 --> 00:32:38,155
Get in.
531
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,148
Khadija.
532
00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:44,793
- What are you up to?
- I'm collecting schoolgirls.
533
00:32:44,829 --> 00:32:47,662
If I carry on like this,
I'll be able to open my own college.
534
00:32:48,766 --> 00:32:50,893
Does Mum know you've still got her car?
535
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:58,465
That was it. Could you stop?
Could you just stop here? Please, please, please.
536
00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:05,180
Course, it's not the original.
That's in the British Museum.
537
00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:08,014
Yes, I heard they were building an extension.
538
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:12,979
Vicky!
539
00:33:13,024 --> 00:33:14,548
It's Miss Hemmingway!
540
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:20,263
(Doorbell rings)
541
00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,959
- Mr. Lovejoy.
- (Tapping)
542
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,800
- Mr. Lovejoy? Mr...
- (Tapping continues)
543
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,499
- What have you done with Khadija?
- Isn't she supposed to be in your care?
544
00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:30,439
You won't deny you've seen her?
545
00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:32,238
No.
546
00:33:33,444 --> 00:33:36,379
Victoria tells me you claim a passion
for antiques.
547
00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:38,405
My passion is Badenside school.
548
00:33:38,449 --> 00:33:40,610
I would do anything to protect it.
549
00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:43,744
That girl was placed in my trust.
550
00:33:43,788 --> 00:33:46,518
She's Richie Subhani's daughter,
for goodness' sake.
551
00:33:46,557 --> 00:33:48,149
The newspaper owner, I know.
552
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,650
Her sister, Aisha,
is about to marry Bobby Khan.
553
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:56,030
Richie Subhani craves the Khans' acceptance.
554
00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,934
This is a dynastic marriage, Mr. Lovejoy.
555
00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:03,304
Why did you lie to me about the folio?
It's yours, isn't it?
556
00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:07,004
Yes, you knew that Khadija had stolen it,
but why didn't you do something about it then?
557
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,036
Of course the Fuselis were ours.
558
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,672
Ah.
559
00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:19,812
Badenside was founded by Victorian England's
foremost collector of pornographic literature.
560
00:34:19,857 --> 00:34:22,451
I wasn't about to advertise the fact.
561
00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:25,519
Especially to a rag-and-bone man.
562
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:30,063
Miss Hemmingway, those books
you're so ashamed of
563
00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:32,331
represent some of the great work of their time.
564
00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:34,998
Those pictures have a power,
a beauty and integrity
565
00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:37,405
that would grace a cathedral, let alone a school.
566
00:34:37,442 --> 00:34:39,410
Now, I'm not in the dirty mac brigade,
567
00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:43,642
but I'd rather have a dirty mac round my
shoulders than a plastic one around my mind.
568
00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:46,741
I don't care about the books,
I care about Khadija.
569
00:34:46,784 --> 00:34:49,309
- I will not have a scandal!
- You'd better see her, then.
570
00:34:49,353 --> 00:34:51,184
She's here?
571
00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:54,281
Little late to read the riot act.
572
00:34:58,362 --> 00:34:59,954
Where's Khadija?
573
00:34:59,997 --> 00:35:02,056
She's gone, she's taken Susan's car.
574
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:06,628
Mr. Lovejoy, if Khadija and the books
aren't returned to school this afternoon
575
00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:08,002
I'm going to the police.
576
00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:11,736
And in any case, Victoria is expelled as of now.
577
00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:13,710
Excuse me.
578
00:35:13,744 --> 00:35:15,939
How could you let her take Susan's car?
579
00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:17,641
I found Garner.
580
00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:20,378
- Oh, Dad! You're so wonderful!
- What?
581
00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:23,012
Even Celia Finnigan
couldn't get herself expelled.
582
00:35:23,054 --> 00:35:24,715
Look.
583
00:35:27,725 --> 00:35:31,593
(Eric) This is great training, this is.
The fine art of breaking and entering.
584
00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:33,756
We could get two years for this.
585
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,789
(Lovejoy) Just shut up, Eric.
586
00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:39,060
Get off my foot and give me that torch.
587
00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:46,404
What if he's waiting for us?
He might be waiting for us with a shotgun.
588
00:35:46,444 --> 00:35:50,972
Or a bucket of ammonia for our eyes. He's a
chemist, he'll have ammonia, and sulphuric acid.
589
00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:00,280
Turn that light on, Eric.
590
00:36:01,759 --> 00:36:03,090
Oh.
591
00:36:04,128 --> 00:36:07,620
That mad old bag. If she'd told us the books
belonged to the school,
592
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,997
- we could've told her who had them days ago.
- (Clang)
593
00:36:10,034 --> 00:36:11,899
(Cat yowling, dog barking)
594
00:36:13,037 --> 00:36:15,096
We don't even know the books are here.
595
00:36:15,139 --> 00:36:16,367
They could be anywhere.
596
00:36:16,407 --> 00:36:18,773
Take hours to search this place.
597
00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:23,303
And at any moment he could walk through that
door with a shotgun, a bucket of ammonia,
598
00:36:23,347 --> 00:36:25,338
the police... Ohh!
599
00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:30,812
What the hell are you doing? That's radioactive.
600
00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:34,086
Eric, this is a small-town chemist,
not Three Mile Island.
601
00:36:42,934 --> 00:36:45,494
- Come on.
- But what about the books?
602
00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:47,868
- What books?
- Lovejoy?
603
00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:50,934
(Crashing)
604
00:36:54,178 --> 00:36:55,509
- Janey.
- Yeah?
605
00:36:55,546 --> 00:37:00,347
How would you like buy an enormous collection
of stolen pornography?
606
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:03,717
Why don't you ask Vicky? I'm sure she'd
welcome the opportunity
607
00:37:03,754 --> 00:37:05,745
to enhance the reputation of the school.
608
00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:08,657
(Chuckles) It's her reputation
I'm trying to salvage.
609
00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:12,686
If I can get the books back to Badenside,
maybe I can bring Miss Hemmingway around.
610
00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:14,129
Without Khadija?
611
00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:17,623
Oh, she's next. Look, we know Garner's got
the books, we know he wants to sell 'em,
612
00:37:17,668 --> 00:37:19,431
we've got to buy them, Janey.
613
00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:21,836
How do you suggest we advertise?
614
00:37:21,872 --> 00:37:26,206
In the Times? Lady Jane Felsham
is at home to hot smut.
615
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,712
No, no, no, no, no. You can call this fence.
616
00:37:29,814 --> 00:37:31,805
Mr. Taffy Griffiths.
617
00:37:34,652 --> 00:37:38,110
You know, Melissa's never gonna
forgive me for this.
618
00:37:38,155 --> 00:37:40,555
We've been at that school for,
what is it now, five years,
619
00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:42,354
and the most exciting thing that
has ever happened
620
00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:44,793
was when Celia Finnigan punched the games
mistress on the nose.
621
00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:46,922
Oh, and Khadija's sister's going on the pill.
622
00:37:46,964 --> 00:37:49,956
Now Khadija's running a porn racket
and I've been expelled. It's terrific!
623
00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:52,595
Oh, yeah, terrific.
But Lovejoy's not gonna like it, is he?
624
00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:54,867
He's a great believer in education.
625
00:37:54,905 --> 00:37:56,896
That's why I'm with him, you know.
626
00:37:58,142 --> 00:38:00,133
No, I quite like it round here.
627
00:38:00,711 --> 00:38:03,077
I suppose I could go to school in London
and live with Mum,
628
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:05,514
or I could live up here with Dad.
629
00:38:05,549 --> 00:38:07,380
Only, what school would I go to?
630
00:38:07,418 --> 00:38:09,943
Well, there's Clarke's College,
that's a very good school.
631
00:38:09,987 --> 00:38:13,150
You don't go to polytechnic from there,
you go to Bristol or Oxford.
632
00:38:13,190 --> 00:38:14,987
Strict discipline, you see.
633
00:38:15,026 --> 00:38:18,120
- I see. Where did you go?
- Well, I went to St. John's.
634
00:38:18,529 --> 00:38:22,898
It was very rough. Teachers don't have any
control, kids just mess about all the time.
635
00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:25,665
And they're frightening, some of those lads.
636
00:38:25,703 --> 00:38:27,762
Even today, I won't go near the place.
637
00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:29,602
Big, mean blokes they are.
638
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,040
- It's mixed?
- I should say so.
639
00:38:32,076 --> 00:38:34,203
- (Clock chiming in distance)
- Suits me fine.
640
00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:37,271
Cripes, is that the time?
Listen, I've got to go and get Lovejoy.
641
00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:42,309
Yes, yes, yes, of course, I understand.
642
00:38:42,353 --> 00:38:45,345
Now then, your husband's birthday, you said.
643
00:38:45,723 --> 00:38:48,453
Man of the world, is he?
644
00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:50,790
Oh, he's an aristocrat, then?
645
00:38:50,828 --> 00:38:54,423
Well, we'll be looking for something
pretty saucy, then, won't we?
646
00:38:54,465 --> 00:38:58,492
A Daumier or a Fuseli or a Raimondi, perhaps.
647
00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:01,471
Oh, yes, yes, yes, top of the range of course.
648
00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:03,973
Pricey, you understand, but then...
649
00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:08,811
if he just wanted Playmate you could just pop
down the local paper shop, couldn't you?
650
00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:10,814
Now, listen to me...
651
00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:14,742
This is an obscene phone call
I'm paying for, Lovejoy.
652
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:17,817
I'll kill you.
653
00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:19,846
- Oh, tell him...
- No, no, I was talking to the dog.
654
00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:23,519
Tell him you want the complete works.
655
00:39:23,561 --> 00:39:25,620
Yes, I would like the complete works.
656
00:39:25,663 --> 00:39:28,097
Yes, yes, of course, I understand.
657
00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:30,123
I apologize. The complete works.
658
00:39:30,167 --> 00:39:33,864
- Er, ten o'clock tomorrow be all right?
- (Jane) Yes, that's fine.
659
00:39:33,904 --> 00:39:35,269
Just one more thing...
660
00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:38,833
(Taffy talking, indistinct)
661
00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,867
No, I think not.
662
00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,646
What was that?
663
00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:45,808
He said since he was dealing with aristocracy,
664
00:39:45,850 --> 00:39:49,081
would it be appropriate to print
"by appointment" on his letterheads?
665
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,644
(Laughs)
666
00:40:01,599 --> 00:40:03,260
- Lovejoy.
- Hello, Susan.
667
00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:05,359
- You owe me an explanation.
- I know.
668
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,839
- Er, what was the question?
- Where's my bloody car?
669
00:40:08,873 --> 00:40:10,738
Ah, now, that I don't know.
670
00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:13,175
- Words fail me.
- Do they?
671
00:40:13,210 --> 00:40:16,270
On parents' day, you tried to steal
the school bookshelves,
672
00:40:16,313 --> 00:40:18,713
and then you offer
the headmistress pornography.
673
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:22,583
Next, you stand us up at the Savoy
for some smutty auction.
674
00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:24,611
I thought that was as low as you could sink,
675
00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:26,748
but Mrs. Harrington-Morse phoned yesterday.
676
00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:30,090
You stormed into her house,
raving like a madman,
677
00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:34,689
insulted her husband, and then tried
to kidnap your own daughter in my car.
678
00:40:34,732 --> 00:40:38,327
Do you know, I've just driven 50 miles in a taxi.
679
00:40:38,369 --> 00:40:41,827
Apart from ruining Vicky's holiday, how do you
suppose she's going to live this down at school?
680
00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:43,635
Oh, she won't have to, she's been...
681
00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:45,005
What?
682
00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,033
She's been expelled.
683
00:40:47,077 --> 00:40:49,045
Well, I want a divorce!
684
00:40:49,079 --> 00:40:51,172
- You got one.
- Again!
685
00:40:51,215 --> 00:40:53,115
Vicky?
686
00:40:53,150 --> 00:40:54,481
Oh...
687
00:40:55,553 --> 00:40:58,989
Right, that's it, I've had enough.
688
00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:03,224
- Right, come on.
- We've decided Dad's gonna bring me up.
689
00:41:04,662 --> 00:41:07,529
I wouldn't trust your father
to bring up his lunch.
690
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:12,125
Oh, God. Everyone back on the coach.
691
00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:17,303
There you go, then, man,
you won't see better than that.
692
00:41:17,341 --> 00:41:19,309
Not in a month in Bangkok.
693
00:41:19,343 --> 00:41:22,335
Gift of a lifetime, that is. Take your pick.
694
00:41:22,379 --> 00:41:25,712
Quite. But I am only interested
in complete collections.
695
00:41:25,749 --> 00:41:28,081
Oh, do, do.
696
00:41:28,118 --> 00:41:31,815
All I ever get for my birthday
is socks and underpants.
697
00:41:31,856 --> 00:41:34,825
I wish my wife was
as broad-minded as you are.
698
00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:35,848
(Clears throat)
699
00:41:38,362 --> 00:41:40,353
- Well, I think your wife...
- Eric.
700
00:41:40,965 --> 00:41:42,956
A teenage girl should be with her mother.
701
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,025
Shut up, Eric.
702
00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:52,305
Lady Jane, I have received
a number of offers for single pieces.
703
00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:54,937
You understand that were I to dispose of
the whole collection,
704
00:41:54,979 --> 00:41:57,345
I would of course have to take this into account.
705
00:41:57,381 --> 00:42:00,544
Of course. You have brought
the entire collection?
706
00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:03,178
Lock, stock and barrel.
707
00:42:03,220 --> 00:42:05,347
Twenty grand. Cash.
708
00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:08,517
That's a lot to pay for stolen goods, isn't it,
Mr. Griffiths?
709
00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:11,027
Especially someone else's stolen goods, Taffy.
710
00:42:11,061 --> 00:42:12,551
Lovejoy!
711
00:42:15,466 --> 00:42:17,934
Eric! Eric, not after them! No, no, come on.
712
00:42:17,968 --> 00:42:20,163
Take all this stuff back to Badenside.
713
00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:21,933
- Car keys!
- They're in the car.
714
00:42:57,575 --> 00:43:00,100
(Jane) I think it's safe to say we've lost him.
715
00:43:00,144 --> 00:43:02,339
I don't him, we're going after the girl.
716
00:43:02,379 --> 00:43:04,210
Do you know where she is?
717
00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:07,911
First time I saw Garner, he was talking about
someone called Bobby.
718
00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:11,183
I've just found out who Bobby is -
he's only interested in Khadija
719
00:43:11,221 --> 00:43:13,246
because of her big sister.
720
00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:31,464
- (Girl) Hello.
- Hello.
721
00:43:31,508 --> 00:43:33,305
Oh, my God.
722
00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:46,279
(Screams)
723
00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:49,884
Oh, my goodness, you gave me a fright.
What are you doing here?
724
00:43:49,927 --> 00:43:51,918
I'm here to see the headmistress.
725
00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:54,396
- Name?
- Er, Miss Hemmingway.
726
00:43:54,431 --> 00:43:57,889
No, no, no, no. Your name.
727
00:43:57,935 --> 00:43:59,766
Oh. Ha. Eric.
728
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,737
Eric Catchpole.
729
00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,534
You're not on my list.
What's it in connection with?
730
00:44:06,577 --> 00:44:08,101
Well, I'm delivering some books.
731
00:44:08,145 --> 00:44:10,477
Ah, Civis Romanus.
732
00:44:10,514 --> 00:44:12,505
I shall have to count them.
733
00:44:19,523 --> 00:44:21,491
(Shrieks)
734
00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:22,924
Filth!
735
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,494
(Alarm blaring)
736
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,291
What on earth is going on?
737
00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:30,732
Well, don't ask me,
I'm just delivering the books.
738
00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,867
(Alarm stops)
739
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:43,503
There's one missing. Where's Lovejoy?
740
00:44:43,547 --> 00:44:45,538
Well, I don't know.
741
00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:47,140
(Girls cheering outside)
742
00:44:48,919 --> 00:44:51,046
(Hooter, bicycle bill)
743
00:44:51,088 --> 00:44:52,749
(Car horn)
744
00:44:55,359 --> 00:44:57,919
(Lovejoy humming melody)
745
00:44:59,296 --> 00:45:01,025
Susan's car.
746
00:45:01,965 --> 00:45:03,557
(Humming)
747
00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:08,130
(Clock chiming)
748
00:45:12,242 --> 00:45:15,837
- Going to the library?
- Oh, please, leave me alone.
749
00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:19,246
That man's a crook, Khadija,
even if he got the money.
750
00:45:19,283 --> 00:45:21,183
What? Didn't he get his money?
751
00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:23,550
- No, he didn't. It won't work, Khadija.
- (Boy) Geronimo!
752
00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,351
Even if you paid Garner off,
he'd be back once the money ran out.
753
00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:28,381
It's not pretty, blackmail, is it, Aisha?
754
00:45:28,425 --> 00:45:30,325
How do you know Charles Garner?
755
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,158
Garner did a pregnancy test
for you two years ago.
756
00:45:34,298 --> 00:45:36,289
Positive, wasn't it?
757
00:45:41,371 --> 00:45:44,704
Oh, you got them. You got them!
758
00:45:58,922 --> 00:46:00,913
Oh, really!
759
00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:47,603
- Khadija, Aisha.
- I'm sorry.
760
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,402
Khadija was only trying to help.
I'm in desperate trouble.
761
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,431
- What sort of trouble?
- When I was at Badenside
762
00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:55,411
I thought I was pregnant.
I couldn't go to the school doctor,
763
00:46:55,445 --> 00:46:57,436
so I went to a local chemist for a test.
764
00:46:57,481 --> 00:47:00,541
- A chemist!
- I didn't have anywhere else to go, did I?
765
00:47:00,584 --> 00:47:03,917
The test was positive, so I had an abortion.
766
00:47:03,954 --> 00:47:06,445
- It was horrible.
- But then she met Bobby Khan.
767
00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:07,980
And I fell in love with him.
768
00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:10,323
But the chemist read about us in the papers.
769
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,851
He said he knew the Khans
wouldn't let me marry Bobby
770
00:47:12,896 --> 00:47:15,296
if they were shown proof that I wasn't a virgin.
771
00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:18,392
Garner tried to sell me
the pregnancy test results,
772
00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:20,335
but he said they'd be very expensive.
773
00:47:20,370 --> 00:47:24,864
And then when Garner found out that Khadija
was stealing expensive prints to pay him off,
774
00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:26,500
he tried to cut out the middle man.
775
00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:29,239
My poor child. Why on earth
didn't you come to me?
776
00:47:29,279 --> 00:47:32,407
Why? You wouldn't let Aisha
take the pill in the first place.
777
00:47:32,449 --> 00:47:34,713
It's your fault she got pregnant.
778
00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:38,209
As a chemist, I would suggest that was
a biological impossibility.
779
00:47:38,255 --> 00:47:41,952
Please, no more violence.
He's already fractured my skull.
780
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:47,961
Madam, it appears your pupils have little
understanding of the rudiments of blackmail.
781
00:47:47,998 --> 00:47:50,899
Allow me to enlighten you all.
782
00:47:50,934 --> 00:47:53,459
Unless somebody gives me
my money immediately,
783
00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:56,336
I'm going to take Aisha's medical records
to her prospective hus...
784
00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:59,706
Oh, you mean these medical records.
785
00:48:08,118 --> 00:48:10,848
Yeah, well, there's nothing to stop me
going to Robert Khan anyway.
786
00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:13,948
Nothing at all, but it'd be your word against
Miss Hemmingway's.
787
00:48:13,991 --> 00:48:18,690
Aisha spent that entire week helping
Miss Hemmingway catalog the school library,
788
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,856
- didn't she, Miss Hemmingway?
- What week?
789
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,025
- Any week you care to claim otherwise.
- So she did.
790
00:48:26,336 --> 00:48:28,600
So, it's back to the cough drops, Garner.
791
00:48:28,639 --> 00:48:30,630
You've got nothing to tell.
792
00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:33,966
(Girls cheering)
793
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:41,010
Oh, thank you, Lovejoy.
Thank you for everything.
794
00:48:41,485 --> 00:48:46,218
You have my thanks too. And I shall
look forward to seeing Vicky next term.
795
00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:49,521
There's, er, just the question of the fees.
796
00:48:49,559 --> 00:48:51,527
- Ah.
- But we can settle those
797
00:48:51,561 --> 00:48:53,552
when we get your bill.
798
00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:55,827
Your bill for valuing and cataloging the books.
799
00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:59,029
It'll have to be done before they're put
on public display.
800
00:48:59,069 --> 00:49:01,401
Not a cathedral, I think, nor a school,
801
00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:03,599
but perhaps you can suggest a gallery.
802
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,312
- (Cameras clicking)
- Now, if you use this, it's gotta be cash, right?
803
00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:27,221
When I think of Vicky spending the night
in that man's house.
804
00:49:27,264 --> 00:49:30,927
Still, Peter King phoned this morning,
full of effusive apologies.
805
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:34,597
Wanted to thank me for dissociating the agency
from Homestead before the whistle blew,
806
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,401
so I must be forgiven.
807
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,840
- He asked after you.
- He always was two-faced.
808
00:49:38,875 --> 00:49:40,467
Still, he's in advertising.
809
00:49:40,510 --> 00:49:42,808
Oh, Lovejoy, let me help you
with the school fees.
810
00:49:42,846 --> 00:49:46,976
Oh, there's no need to. Miss Hemmingway,
apart from taking young Victoria back,
811
00:49:47,017 --> 00:49:50,509
- is also going to hire me.
- What?
812
00:49:50,554 --> 00:49:53,887
Yeah, you're going back. Lovejoy's fixed it
with your headmistress.
813
00:49:53,924 --> 00:49:55,585
Well, say goodbye, Vicky.
814
00:49:56,593 --> 00:49:59,187
Goodbye, Eric. You tell that double-crossing pig,
815
00:49:59,229 --> 00:50:01,060
I'll never speak to him again.
816
00:50:01,098 --> 00:50:03,498
Well, I'll just have to say goodbye for you.
817
00:50:09,740 --> 00:50:12,265
And we will have that lunch sometime.
818
00:50:12,309 --> 00:50:14,174
Bought you a present.
819
00:50:14,211 --> 00:50:15,803
Oh, Lovejoy.
820
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,507
In the boot!
821
00:50:24,921 --> 00:50:27,116
(Shrieks) Lovejoy!
822
00:50:27,166 --> 00:50:31,716
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