All language subtitles for Lovejoy s02e08 Sugar And Spice.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,945 (Engine splutters and dies) 2 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,180 (Lovejoy) Aargh! 3 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,279 (Engine splutters and dies) 4 00:00:56,322 --> 00:01:00,782 But, if you haven't seen her for months, how can you be so sure she's not going to be there? 5 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:04,319 One of the things you learn if you've been married to a woman for 11 years 6 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:08,596 is whether or not she goes to parents' day. Susan doesn't. 7 00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:12,695 But Vicky's your only child. Doesn't Susan care? 8 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,570 Oh, she cares. She's adamant. 9 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:17,508 Parents' day is the one day a year when you get to meet the teachers, 10 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:21,173 discuss academic prospects and plan for the future. 11 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:24,240 Susan thinks Vicky's smart enough to handle the staff on her own. 12 00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:27,344 That's why she never goes. Well, so do I. That's why I always go. 13 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,750 Will Vicky want me there? 14 00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:32,921 Course she wants you there! She adores you! 15 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,258 Oh, all right. I'll go. But I'm not wearing the tiara. 16 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,230 I'll see you tomorrow, Lovejoy. 17 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,236 (Bell rings, door closes) 18 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:49,367 Brains, beauty and a working car. What more does a person need? 19 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,570 - Fine arts. - Eh? 20 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:55,775 That's what you need. We should be dealing with more classy stuff. 21 00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,750 - More arts. - You don't know your arts from your elbow. 22 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,776 Yeah, ell I'm doing a course, aren't I? 23 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:06,190 Well, it's more a creative workshop actually. A self-stimulating community of artists. 24 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:10,890 - I'm gonna open the door to my inner self. - No, you're not. You're gonna get me a drink. 25 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,702 - Mr. Lovejoy? - Yes? 26 00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:19,296 I'd like you to sell some prints for me. 27 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:21,933 - Some Fuselis. - Fuselis? 28 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,908 - (Whispers) I'll have the drink now, Eric. - Eh? 29 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:32,008 This is a bound folio of original prints. 30 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,112 Looks genuine. Quite a find for a teenager, Miss? 31 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,990 How much are they worth? Can you value them? 32 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,686 Aren't you gonna take a look? 33 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,254 (Gasps) We can't sell these! 34 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,226 But they must be worth thousands. 35 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:53,103 After the Marquis de Sade, Fuseli was the greatest pornographer of the 18th century! 36 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:58,571 - Doesn't he know that? - Well, he's more of an inner-self man. 37 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,910 Pornography's a closed door to me. I don't see the point in peeking through the keyhole. 38 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,645 It's just a bare room. What you see is dull and obvious. 39 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:09,382 It's all sex, but with all the passion and intensity locked out. 40 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,788 This is not pornography. 41 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,987 A man's whole being went into this. No two hairs are the same. 42 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,554 No two skins have the same texture. 43 00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:22,295 He never uses the same light, color, gesture, shadow, movement. 44 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:25,202 Instead of locking out our senses, he draws them in. 45 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:29,231 Warmth, touch, emotion, passion. 46 00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:33,003 Look at Fuseli. Door's open. 47 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,775 Can you sell them? 48 00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:39,080 A young woman arrives on my doorstep with an armful of priceless erotica. 49 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,848 Course I can sell 'em when I get over the shock. 50 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,116 How long will that take? 51 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,023 Ooh, a couple of days on Valiums and I'll get back to you. 52 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,653 - I take it you're not the owner? - What? 53 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,154 - Who are you working for? - Oh. 54 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,393 I, um... I can't say. 55 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:58,302 I don't blame you. If I was them, I wouldn't want to shout about it either. 56 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,863 If I need to get in touch with you, where will I phone you? 57 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,602 I'll phone you. 58 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,048 - No car. - How did you get here? 59 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:24,293 - On the train. - At least you had something to read. 60 00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:33,501 (Chatter and laughter) 61 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,811 (Cheering) 62 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,182 (Applause) 63 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,721 Where the hell has Vicky got to now? 64 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,021 She's just popped to the refreshment tent. 65 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,620 This is the refreshment tent! 66 00:04:55,662 --> 00:05:00,190 - This is the third from arts and crafts. - They've got Pimm's. 67 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:03,430 Why else would anyone come to third form arts and crafts? 68 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,630 (Woman) Excuse me! Excuse me. 69 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:09,108 - You're obscuring Lavinia's still life. - Oh! Excuse me. Excuse me, girls. 70 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:13,738 - (Lavinia) That's my painting. - Oh, is it? It's charming. Delightful. 71 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,146 - Well done, Lavinia. - Thank you. 72 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,909 You total creep. I bet you were head girl in your day, weren't you? 73 00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,545 Of course. 74 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,453 - (Girl) Mum! - Darling! 75 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,960 - Where are we going? - Refreshment tent. 76 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,623 Sweetheart, I've just been to the refreshment tent! 77 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,861 You stranded me there with Mrs. Harrington-Morse half an hour ago. 78 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,597 - I thought you wanted to meet them! - I wanted to meet him. 79 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,468 He's an important client. 80 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:43,339 I don't understand it. The man manufactures sofabeds, why did he have to marry one? 81 00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,867 - Mum! - Well, it's your holiday. 82 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:50,747 But all the champagne and Jacuzzis in the world wouldn't entice me into Homestead Mansions. 83 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,482 Mum, there's something I haven't told you. 84 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,283 - Dad's here. - Darling, why didn't you tell me? 85 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,813 - What a lovely surprise! - Well, I wouldn't bank on it. 86 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:02,521 He's brought someone with him because he didn't expect you to be here either. 87 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:07,022 Clearly! Oh, I'm sorry, darling. Is she embarrassingly young? 88 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,198 See for yourself. 89 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:11,301 (Susan) Lovejoy! 90 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,931 Susie! You look wonderful. What are you doing here? 91 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,567 - I was Vicky's surprise. - I must be yours. 92 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:20,477 Jane, Susan, my mother. Mum, Lady Jane Felsham. 93 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,481 - Lovejoy's... - Landlady. 94 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,380 - I don't believe it. - I beg your pardon? 95 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:27,250 Mr. Harrington-Morse! We meet again. How nice. 96 00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:30,084 As I was saying, I want to get into your bedroom, Susan. 97 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,216 I want to get into everybody's bedroom 98 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:36,558 and replace that six-foot-by-four-foot piece of clutter with a Homestead sofabed. 99 00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:39,759 "Pull me up a put-you-up and pick me up!" Our slogan. What do you think? 100 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:43,599 Mr. Harrington-Morse is chief executive of Homestead, the sofabed company. 101 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,002 Mr. And Mrs. Harrington-Morse, this is Lovejoy... 102 00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:48,063 - Mr. Lovejoy. ...my husband. Ex-husband. 103 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:50,473 - And Lady Jane Felsham, Lovejoy's... - How do you do? 104 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,534 Landlady. 105 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,478 - What do you do, Lovejoy? - Six months in the nick as a rule. 106 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,812 Really? What do you sleep on? 107 00:06:57,683 --> 00:07:01,619 (Woman) Pass me some lemon, please, Sonia. (Girl) There you go. 108 00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,520 Now I definitely need a Pimm's. 109 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,629 With a man like that you don't need a bed to fall asleep, 110 00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:14,098 you're nodding off after the first sentence! 111 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,794 Excuse me. Sorry. Thank you. 112 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,694 What on earth made you say that about prison? 113 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,002 - It's true, isn't it? - Well, of course it's true. 114 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:26,240 If it wasn't true, I wouldn't want you to lie about it. Don't they teach you anything at this school? 115 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,543 - Enough. - Uh... a Pimm's, please. 116 00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,070 Lovely, thank you. 117 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,050 (Pop music playing) 118 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:36,613 - Ah! - Ah! 119 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:40,217 Victoria's parents. How nice to meet you both... together. 120 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:45,162 I've been meaning to speak to you. There seems to be a mix-up over this term's school fees. 121 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,894 Your husband must have overlooked the payment, Mrs. Lovejoy. 122 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,664 - This isn't Mrs. Lovejoy. - Indeed? 123 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:54,696 Indeed. Jane, Miss Hemmingway. Miss Hemmingway, my landlady, Lady Felsham. 124 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,938 Oh, Lady Felsham. It's so good of you to take an interest in Vicky. 125 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,004 A nice child. Despite all the difficulties. 126 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,581 What line of business are you pursuing now, Mr. Lovejoy? 127 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,086 - The same. - I see. 128 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,384 Lovejoy and I work together. 129 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,447 Oh! 130 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,985 Are you in antiques, Lady Felsham? I've been looking for someone reliable for the library. 131 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:19,327 We're refurbishing. We have one or two fine collections. 132 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:22,095 The insurance company insists on a valuation. 133 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:25,592 I couldn't be an awful bore and trouble you for an opinion, could I? 134 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:29,005 Well, one of us really ought to wait here for Susan and Vicky, 135 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:32,272 but I'm sure Lovejoy would be delighted to give you a view. 136 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,041 - Oh. - Books, more his area. 137 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,549 Oh. Well... 138 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,108 Very well. Come along, Mr. Lovejoy. 139 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,317 What are you doing? 140 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,622 This is a golden opportunity to change her impression of you. 141 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:49,719 If you please, Mr. Lovejoy. 142 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,496 - You're ruining these books. - I beg your pardon? 143 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,500 A fine collection of Victorian theology displayed on these. 144 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,605 - These walnut cabinets? - Yes, but open to the air, humidity, 145 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:13,415 - constant temperature changes, varnish taint. - I see. And you would recommend what? 146 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:18,219 - Modern, hermetically-sealed shelving units. - Rather expensive, I fear. 147 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:22,751 Yes, but as a parent and for Badenside, I could always arrange a part exchange. 148 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,457 Yes, I'm sure you always could, Mr. Lovejoy. 149 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,657 But no. 150 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:32,159 Perhaps it's silly of me, but I really can't imagine the library without them. 151 00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,662 - After all, they have been here since 1704. - Hm. 152 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:40,145 Now, as to the fees, school ends on Thursday, 153 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:43,376 - and I shall expect full payment. - (Door opens) 154 00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,345 Khadija! What are you doing in there? 155 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,648 The Mistresses' Library is strictly out of bounds to girls. 156 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:53,989 I... 157 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:57,826 I was looking for the railway timetables. When I couldn't find them... 158 00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:01,924 You're boarding here during the holidays, why would you want a timetable? 159 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:05,131 - Train spotting. - Don't be impertinent, Khadija. 160 00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,662 - How did you get in? - The door was unlocked... 161 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,403 Nonsense. That door is never unlocked. 162 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:15,244 The contents are irreplaceable. Khadija, you will report to my study immediately. 163 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,683 (Locks door) 164 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,020 You must excuse me, Mr. Lovejoy. 165 00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:34,489 - Go on, Mummy. I've made loads and loads. - Lovely, darling. 166 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,300 Ooh, Lavinia. 167 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,400 Oh, Vicky! Excuse me. Excuse me, ladies. 168 00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,569 Jane, excuse me. Vicky... 169 00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:48,171 Do you know a girl called Khadija? 170 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:51,877 Oh, yeah! You know Richie Subhani, the newspaper proprietor? 171 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,976 - She's his daughter. - Rich, eh? 172 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,545 Oh, stinking! Mum. 173 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,752 Father claims to be a devout Muslim. All his daughters come here. 174 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:04,661 Unlike you, he recognizes a good working medieval torture chamber when he sees one. 175 00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,892 - Do you take sugar? - No, no I don't. 176 00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:10,995 - Yeah. What do you make of her? - Well, the typical "Miss milk monitor" type. 177 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,767 - Straight and narrow, eh? - Oh, sticks to it like superglue. 178 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:17,037 Aisha, that's her older sister, used to be pretty wild, but she's left now. 179 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:20,637 Gone to Fairfax College in Cambridge. Why did you wanna know anyway? 180 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:25,242 Well, Miss Hemmingway and I just bumped into her coming out of the Mistresses' Library. 181 00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,878 - What Khadija? - Yeah, Khadija. 182 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,889 Look, Mum. He's eating one. Go on! 183 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,515 (Indistinct) 184 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,193 Go on! 185 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,954 So what did Picasso use? 186 00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:41,125 After his Blue Period, he tended to favor black. 187 00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:45,202 - Ah! Braque, now I've heard of him. - No, black! 188 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:48,035 Braque turned to red, that's why they fell out. 189 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,373 Ah. And Cézanne tended to use more traditional materials. 190 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,311 Pastel colors and a felt tip. 191 00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:57,782 - Mostly green. - Oh, I don't know about green. 192 00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,614 It's a bit military. 193 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,083 - No, I think I'll stick to the black. - You're sure? 194 00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:06,353 Yeah. If it's good enough for Picasso, it's good enough for me. 195 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,226 One felt tip... in black. 196 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,559 Yes! 197 00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,463 (Laughs) 198 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,365 Cézanne, eh? 199 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,996 Cos I'm a bit of an impressionist myself, you know. 200 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,533 Chuck Berry. (Laughs) 201 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,974 Chuck... 202 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:28,036 Yeah, well, I'll take some of this goulash while I'm here as well. (Clears throat) 203 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,707 - Right. Till Thursday, then. - Thursday? 204 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,812 - I've arranged to meet Mr. And Mrs. Sofabed. - Ugh. 205 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,119 So that we can see Vicky off on her holiday. 206 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:39,647 - (Engine starts) - Don't worry. 207 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:43,651 I'll treat you to a light supper afterwards. We really ought to get together more often. 208 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:46,221 - Oh, Susan. - Lovejoy. 209 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,825 Thursday. I'll pick you up. 210 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:57,401 (Tannoy) Will the parent who has parked the Range Rover with the horse box 211 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,503 at the front gate, blocking it, please move it immediately. 212 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:04,607 - Where's the money? - I'm trying to get it! I think I've found a way! 213 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,778 Taking our time, aren't we lovey? Perhaps we'd better go and see Daddy after all. 214 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:11,551 - No, you mustn't! I'll get it, I promise. - I don't take promises. 215 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,252 - Just a few more days. - (Engine starts) 216 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:18,788 - Two more days, then it's bye-bye Bobby. - Bye-bye. 217 00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:23,968 Who's Bobby? 218 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,334 You in some sort of trouble? 219 00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:29,137 Khadija Subhani, I told you to report to my study immediately. 220 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:33,006 I've got to go. 221 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:38,980 This is disgusting. And she looked like such a nice girl. 222 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:41,648 Don't be so ready to condemn, Eric. 223 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,212 She's not the kind of girl who owns pornography. 224 00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,520 - Isn't she? - Nah, she steals it. 225 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:58,027 Agh! Why don't you learn to drive? 226 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,061 Well, at least it goes. 227 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,376 Just wait here a moment if you wouldn't mind. 228 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:08,437 (Sighs) 229 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,955 Please go in. 230 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,065 I'm intrigued. 231 00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,400 Tell me, Mr. Lovejoy. What made you think of me? 232 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:35,430 Instinct. Pure antiquarian instinct. 233 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,669 I see. Your instinct... 234 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,316 Your instinct told you this was a school possession. 235 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,684 A rare and valuable one. 236 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:54,091 What kind of parent imagines his daughter's exclusive public school collects pornography? 237 00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:57,118 As for your instincts, I think the least said about them the better. 238 00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:59,528 You mean the Fuselis don't belong to Badenside? 239 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,362 Certainly not. 240 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,359 And if that disappoints you, perhaps Vicky would be happier at a comprehensive. 241 00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,862 Good day, Mr. Lovejoy. 242 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,148 - (Car horn) - (Tires screech) 243 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,481 - Naughty. - That's what Miss Hemmingway said. 244 00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,615 (Laughs) I'm not surprised. 245 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,593 Fuseli has a very elongated style. 246 00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,095 Do you think so? I always admired his realism. 247 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,161 - Realism? - Mm. 248 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:36,292 But... no two human beings can do that. 249 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,236 At least, not to each other. 250 00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,064 Don't even think it. 251 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,806 - What are you going to do with them? - I'm gonna find out where they came from. 252 00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,608 Well, the girl obviously didn't steal them from the school. 253 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,514 - Maybe they're a family heirloom. - (Sighs) 254 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,575 Cor! Dear me! 255 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,714 (Pop music and voices in background) 256 00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:04,454 Can I come in, Khadija? Oh, that's nice. Is that what you're wearing to the wedding? 257 00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,929 No! 258 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,490 Oh, um... Perhaps to the reception. 259 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,528 You know, it seems only yesterday that your sister was here. 260 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,665 This was Aisha's study as well. 261 00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:20,203 Now she's getting married. To a Khan, no less. 262 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:22,236 Your father must be thrilled. 263 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,909 Yes. 264 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:27,948 The Khans are a very important Muslim family. 265 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:32,388 If there's anything you need, your father's made ample arrangements. 266 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:35,587 We could go shopping. If you need money... 267 00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,686 No, I don't. 268 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,255 I thought that was why you'd stolen the Fuselis. 269 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:45,202 No. I didn't take the Fuselis because I needed money, I told you. 270 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,569 I wasn't going to sell them. 271 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:51,337 - I don't need money. - Well, you must have had a reason. 272 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,174 Why didn't you tell me? 273 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:56,673 Because you were so beastly to Aisha. 274 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,819 Khadija, is everything all right? 275 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,616 Yes. 276 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,088 I know you're very close to your sister. 277 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,693 Oh, I understand. You feel left out. 278 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,289 People do get married, you know. 279 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:15,767 You'll find that out for yourself sooner or later. 280 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,897 It doesn't mean that people forget about their friends and their family, it just means... 281 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:24,034 - You never liked Aisha, did you? - Well, of course I did. She was my pupil. 282 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:27,375 But she caused us a lot of anxiety running away like that. 283 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,881 Disappearing for a whole week for no good reason. 284 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,110 It was for a reason. 285 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,415 But it was her business, not yours. 286 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,452 Aisha was still a pupil, a pupil at my school. 287 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:40,754 That makes it my business and my responsibility. 288 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,819 As for the Fuselis, you're very lucky, Khadija. 289 00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,854 As it happens, I don't want it made public. 290 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,197 I can't afford a scandal in my school. 291 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,126 So I've given them away. 292 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:58,638 As far as I'm concerned, that's the end of the matter. All right? 293 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,586 (Man) Hello, Lovejoy! 294 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:21,261 - Not your usual line. - No, I'm looking after them for a schoolgirl. 295 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:25,202 Oh, I understand. No names, no pack drill. 296 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,338 We'd better go through to the back. 297 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,970 Tidy... Very, very tidy, Lovejoy. 298 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,844 The only thing I ask is, please, don't tell me where you got them. 299 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,352 I already have. I wanna know where my client got them. 300 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:43,684 Yes, you can't be too careful, can you? 301 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:48,057 I don't know, though. It's very difficult to provenance quality. 302 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,221 - There's only one or two specialists, you see. - So who do they belong to? 303 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,790 If I knew that one, I'd have nicked them myself. How much do you want? 304 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,927 I don't want to sell them, I wanna know where they came from. 305 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,837 Well, a big collector. That's for certain. 306 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,534 Not one of mine, though. 307 00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:06,476 - You could try the Shevandin collection. - Shevandin? That's tourist junk, isn't it? 308 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,709 It happens to be our annual do, Lovejoy. 309 00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,875 You can leave this with me, if you like. (Laughing) 310 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,977 You don't want to be caught carrying around dodgy stuff, now, do you? 311 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,215 If there's a reward, Taffy, I'll need it myself. 312 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,919 - You're not paying rent at last, are you? - No. School fees. 313 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:24,751 (Sighs) 314 00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:26,728 (Wind blowing) 315 00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,061 (Bell) 316 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,833 Ah! The train spotter. 317 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:37,339 - I've brought some more prints. - Timetables? 318 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,434 No. 319 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:45,578 Fragonard, Daumier, Géricault and Raimondi. 320 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:50,412 - Do you know my daughter, Vicky? - Not very well. She's a year behind me. 321 00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:52,389 Yeah, at least. 322 00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:55,825 - Is this more porn? - Haven't you heard of Fragonard? 323 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,453 - He went to a comprehensive. - Oh. 324 00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,329 Where did you get these from? You steal them from your father? 325 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,664 God, no. And I'm not a criminal if that's what you think. 326 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,432 Oh, no. You're just a run-of-the-mill sixth former. 327 00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,668 Latin, French and a hundred grand's worth of antique erotica. 328 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:13,269 I'm not a little girl, either. Don't patronize me. 329 00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,243 We must have a deal. I don't know where else to go. 330 00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:19,814 I need a quick sale. 331 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,317 - How did you get here? - I came by train. 332 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:27,291 For such a train enthusiast, you don't know much about the Eastern Region do you? 333 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,726 - (Baaing) - We're a bit isolated here. 334 00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:33,527 There's only two trains a day. One at 7:30 to bring the station master to work, 335 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:37,433 and one at five o'clock to take him home. Baaaaaaa! 336 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,735 Oh, nice books. Where do you steal 'em? 337 00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,504 You! 338 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,508 You stupid little cow. You said you'd found a buyer! 339 00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,675 He is. He's an antiques dealer. 340 00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,742 - He's been in prison. - Get in the car. 341 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,980 No, wait. 342 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:59,149 - I don't like bullies. - My dear chap. 343 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,923 - I'm an old friend of the family. - Ooh! 344 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,029 What happened? 345 00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:09,124 - (Car horn) - Ooh! 346 00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:12,193 - What's going on? - Who was that maniac? 347 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,534 Get in. 348 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:18,304 - What's going on? - Just get in, Eric. 349 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:22,647 - (Eric) She almost killed me! - That would be some compensation! 350 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,910 (Susan) Miss Hemmingway phoned from Badenside. 351 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:32,447 Honestly, Lovejoy, I can understand you trying to strip the shelves from her library. 352 00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:35,688 I can even understand the school fees being six months in arrears. 353 00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,389 What on earth possessed you to offer the woman pornography? 354 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,331 - Well, there was this schoolgirl... - I've never been so embarrassed. 355 00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:42,355 (Lovejoy sighs) 356 00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:45,234 (Susan) She said perhaps you were confused over methods of payment. 357 00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:49,570 They take cash, checks, standing orders, banker's drafts and covenants. 358 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:53,567 What they do not accept is 18th century porn on account. 359 00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,737 - Where are we going? - (Lovejoy) To London. 360 00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:59,808 If that maniac wants to sell those books, that's where he's got to go. 361 00:21:59,851 --> 00:22:03,014 (Susan) What books? (Eric) The 18th century porn. 362 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:06,320 (Susan) Uh! Slow down, Lovejoy! You'll have us all in the ditch! 363 00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,924 (Susan) You're really a liability. 364 00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:16,759 - Eric, get us a taxi. - But, this is the auction room. 365 00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:18,667 Do you wanna walk home, Eric? Get us a taxi! 366 00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:21,696 But we're supposed to be saying goodbye to Vicky for the holiday. 367 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:24,504 I've arranged to meet the Harrington-Morses at the Savoy for tea! 368 00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,534 Can't make it. I've got to find Khadija. 369 00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,046 - I'm sorry. It's very important. - But so is Vicky. 370 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,515 - Here's our taxi. - Your taxi. 371 00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:34,417 - My taxi? - Your taxi. I need the car Susan. 372 00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:37,047 Eric, these are the auction rooms. Get out of the cab. 373 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:38,317 - Hey? - Out! 374 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,918 - Savoy, sir? - Lovejoy, that's not for two hours yet! 375 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,123 I've got to get my hair done. Although I'll go back to the office first. 376 00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:50,328 Not the Savoy, Berwick Street. Harrington-Morse is one of my biggest clients! 377 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,566 Oh, my God! The market research. Fetters Lane! 378 00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:57,769 Lovejoy, if my car isn't at the Savoy by 3p.m., I'll kill you! 379 00:22:57,809 --> 00:23:00,334 And if you're not there, I'll never speak to you again. 380 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:03,109 And another thing! 381 00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:07,811 - What made you get married, Lovejoy? - I talked her into it. 382 00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:11,615 What about the car? It's on a yellow line. 383 00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,647 - Well, you deal with it! - (Sighs) 384 00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:42,476 Lot number 66. 385 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:47,187 Victorian, One Upturned Lady Having Fallen Off Bike. 386 00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:51,559 Artist unknown, but a fine piece of craftsmanship. What am I bid? 387 00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,356 Who'll start me on £100? 388 00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:56,765 - Do I hear 120? - (Whispering) Hello, Sam. 389 00:23:56,802 --> 00:24:00,135 - (Auctioneer) 120. Thank you. - Seen any Fuseli, Fragonard, 390 00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:03,005 Daumier, Géricault? 391 00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:05,407 - No, I haven't. - (Auctioneer)... with you madam. 392 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:09,574 Are you sure you're interested, dear boy? Rather beyond your pocket I would have thought. 393 00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:14,313 - I'm not buying, Sam. I'm retrieving. - Ah! Cheaper. 394 00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:19,353 Far more difficult. This is a somewhat secretive market. 395 00:24:19,391 --> 00:24:21,120 Who are the major collectors? 396 00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:27,098 Dear boy, were I able to name names, I would have retired on the wages of extortion. 397 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:31,466 Sensitive, you see. Dirty books. 398 00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:33,733 Who's selling, Sam? 399 00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:42,304 There is a frisson in the trade. Certain wealthy parties wait with bated breath. 400 00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:45,746 Not, sadly, that they are of my personal acquaintance, 401 00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:48,981 this job doesn't pay tremendously well. 402 00:24:49,020 --> 00:24:50,487 - Please. - Shh. 403 00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:53,958 Have some respect for the confidentiality of the saleroom. 404 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:56,051 (Auctioneer) 1900. 405 00:24:56,094 --> 00:24:58,289 - 1900, thank you. - Welshman with a gun shop. 406 00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,763 Taffy Griffiths. 407 00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:03,261 (Auctioneer) 2,000. Do I hear 2,100? 408 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:05,864 I'm selling at 2,000. 409 00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:09,237 This morning he was talking about a collection. 410 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:12,334 - A tidy one, by all accounts. - Oh. 411 00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:15,505 Lot number 68, My Adonis. 412 00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:17,139 Do I hear £50? 413 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,207 Good heavens. 414 00:25:19,251 --> 00:25:21,048 Cor, look at that. 415 00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:24,055 Thank you. Do I hear 55? 416 00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:27,422 I'm selling. Going once, going twice... 417 00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:30,758 (Bangs gavel) Sold for £50 to the gentleman in the beret. 418 00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,956 Oh, Eric, what have you done? 419 00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:39,865 (Eric sighs) 420 00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:43,341 - Give me the keys, Eric. - I mean, what am I gonna do with this? 421 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:45,502 I dunno. You bought it, you must've liked it. 422 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,910 Well, I'll never be able to shift it round our way. 423 00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:49,937 I mean, it's disgusting. 424 00:25:50,782 --> 00:25:52,374 What's up? 425 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:54,782 (Door opens) 426 00:25:54,819 --> 00:25:57,413 (Lovejoy) You're closing for lunch, Taffy. 427 00:25:57,455 --> 00:25:59,821 Excuse me, please. Just one moment. 428 00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,416 What the bloody hell is this? 429 00:26:01,459 --> 00:26:05,452 This morning I was relieved of a very fine collection of antique erotica. 430 00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:08,057 - Lovejoy... please! - And now you are flooding the market. 431 00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:09,726 What the hell's going on, Taffy? 432 00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:11,998 Lovejoy, I'm an honest trader, me. 433 00:26:12,037 --> 00:26:15,632 Do you think I'd be stupid enough to mess around with stolen goods if I knew? 434 00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:17,835 Well, what do you expect, a thief-by date? 435 00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:20,344 Look, if I'd known they were your stolen goods, 436 00:26:20,378 --> 00:26:23,108 believe me, man, I'd have been on the phone like a shot. 437 00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:25,844 Taffy, Taffy, Taffy, Taffy. When it comes to sourcing pictures, 438 00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:28,819 you know who wants 'em, who's got 'em and who'll drive the getaway car. 439 00:26:28,853 --> 00:26:32,414 Look, I swear to you, man, I'm as embarrassed as you are. 440 00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:34,516 I didn't even know they existed. 441 00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:37,460 - Taffy. - Look, I can prove it you. 442 00:26:37,495 --> 00:26:40,328 Garner, his name was, right, the man who brought the stuff in. 443 00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:44,631 I've put him onto a buyer. I know where they're going to be meeting this afternoon. 444 00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,000 Good. 445 00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,201 (Thwack, man grunts) 446 00:26:49,874 --> 00:26:51,865 Stay there till I come back. 447 00:26:55,413 --> 00:26:57,142 I never had a headmistress like that. 448 00:26:57,182 --> 00:26:59,514 No, she is rather special, isn't she? 449 00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:02,179 Mind you, I prefer Miss Hemmingway. 450 00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:06,850 She's the real thing, and she looks as if she could be really strict. 451 00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:09,155 - Yes, well. - Pure fantasy, dear chap. 452 00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:12,630 Still, it's my daughter's school, and she has asked me to become a parent governor, 453 00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:15,758 - so you never know. - Good Lord. 454 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,633 Up there a couple of days ago. Breathtaking. 455 00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,535 - Small world. - Pardon? 456 00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:22,563 Have you, erm, made up your mind yet? 457 00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:25,269 - Not sure. A bit fussy, aren't they? - Fussy? 458 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,642 Yeah, arty, can't see what's going on. 459 00:27:27,679 --> 00:27:29,510 I thought you were a collector. 460 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:33,311 - 5,000. - They're worth six times that amount. 461 00:27:34,552 --> 00:27:36,713 Of course, I'll need proof of ownership. 462 00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,313 (Woman whooping) 463 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,852 5,000. 464 00:27:40,892 --> 00:27:42,826 (Woman sighs contentedly) 465 00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:46,120 (Eric) Well, that's Garner's car. 466 00:27:47,198 --> 00:27:51,066 But it doesn't look like the kind of place you'd bring a load of hooky porn. 467 00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:53,696 - Looks like my mum's. - It's suburbia, Eric. 468 00:27:53,738 --> 00:27:55,729 It's the same everywhere. 469 00:27:55,774 --> 00:27:57,799 Number 15's wife-swapped with number 12, 470 00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,003 number 8's chopped up his dogs, got 'em in the freezer, 471 00:28:00,045 --> 00:28:03,537 and number 29 here, he's got an amphetamine laboratory in his garage. 472 00:28:03,581 --> 00:28:05,412 Oh, get off. 473 00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:09,784 I mean, look at that bloke, he's just an accountant or something going home for his tea. 474 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,546 Probably doesn't even have a dog. 475 00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:20,259 (Doorbell rings) 476 00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,377 Look! 477 00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,882 Eric! 478 00:28:41,519 --> 00:28:44,682 (Engine starts, tires squeal) 479 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,590 - (Lovejoy) "Pick me up a put-you-up"! - Eh? 480 00:28:47,625 --> 00:28:49,354 Pillow talk. 481 00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:09,641 (Tires squeal) 482 00:29:25,230 --> 00:29:27,221 Khadija! 483 00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:34,102 Eric, no! The girl! Get the girl! 484 00:29:38,209 --> 00:29:39,540 (Both laugh) 485 00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:42,137 - I once had a crush on Bros. - Oh, you're joking. 486 00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:44,080 I did. Must've lasted a whole month. 487 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:47,209 - Oh, I don't believe it. How could you? - I don't know. 488 00:29:47,252 --> 00:29:50,085 - I was into The Cult myself. - They're great, aren't they? 489 00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,112 My mum wouldn't let me have my ears pierced, though. 490 00:29:52,157 --> 00:29:53,419 - Why not? - I don't know. 491 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,653 - My mum's got her ears pierced. - Has she? 492 00:29:55,693 --> 00:29:58,890 - Is she into The Cult? - No. She's more a Motörhead freak. 493 00:29:58,930 --> 00:30:00,921 (Both laugh) 494 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:02,956 - (Sighs) More champagne? - You sure? 495 00:30:03,001 --> 00:30:05,196 Yes. Mum won't bother us. 496 00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:07,033 She's got a Volvo full of jumble, 497 00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:10,632 and she's going round all the houses for some poor unsuspecting cause. 498 00:30:10,675 --> 00:30:13,974 And Dad takes hours and hours when he's on business. 499 00:30:14,012 --> 00:30:17,948 - Oops. (Laughs) - So... what are the sights? 500 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:20,678 Well, this is the garden. 501 00:30:20,718 --> 00:30:22,117 Yes. 502 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:24,144 And that's the gardener. 503 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:30,051 - Ooh. - (Laughs) 504 00:30:30,094 --> 00:30:32,995 Who stole the books, Khadija? Was it you or Garner? 505 00:30:34,365 --> 00:30:36,356 Where did they come from? 506 00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:39,626 What do you need the money for? 507 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:42,868 That's my business. Where are we going? 508 00:30:42,907 --> 00:30:47,003 You're gonna have to tell somebody something because you're making a pig's ear of this. 509 00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:48,478 Why don't you leave me alone? 510 00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:51,073 Because I've done two rounds with a car door and a suitcase 511 00:30:51,115 --> 00:30:54,141 and because you might look like an innocent schoolgirl but you're a liar 512 00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:57,416 - and a tout for a petty crook. - He's not a crook. 513 00:30:57,455 --> 00:30:59,320 He's a chemist. 514 00:31:01,926 --> 00:31:04,656 I see. Thank you, Matron. 515 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,687 You're going to have to come back later, Charlotte. 516 00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:10,189 I'm just going to Khadija's room. If there are any calls, I'll be back in ten minutes. 517 00:31:10,235 --> 00:31:12,169 (Indistinct) 518 00:31:35,793 --> 00:31:37,351 Lovejoy? 519 00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:49,670 (♪ Saxophone music playing on stereo) 520 00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:02,952 Oh, hi, Dad. 521 00:32:02,987 --> 00:32:06,388 - You're late for the Savoy. Mum was furious. - So was mine... 522 00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:08,324 - Sorry about this, Vicky. - How embarrassing. 523 00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:12,261 - Holidays are over, you're coming home. - Mr. Lovejoy, what is the meaning of this? 524 00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:16,734 I'm taking my daughter out of this house. I only wish you could do the same thing. 525 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,760 Really? Well, if I'd known you were such a thug 526 00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:23,865 I would never have let your daughter in my house in the first place. 527 00:32:25,877 --> 00:32:27,868 I can see where she gets her sense of discipline from. 528 00:32:27,912 --> 00:32:30,710 Well, you should see where your husband gets his. 529 00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:35,010 Move over. 530 00:32:36,187 --> 00:32:38,155 Get in. 531 00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,148 Khadija. 532 00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:44,793 - What are you up to? - I'm collecting schoolgirls. 533 00:32:44,829 --> 00:32:47,662 If I carry on like this, I'll be able to open my own college. 534 00:32:48,766 --> 00:32:50,893 Does Mum know you've still got her car? 535 00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:58,465 That was it. Could you stop? Could you just stop here? Please, please, please. 536 00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:05,180 Course, it's not the original. That's in the British Museum. 537 00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:08,014 Yes, I heard they were building an extension. 538 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:12,979 Vicky! 539 00:33:13,024 --> 00:33:14,548 It's Miss Hemmingway! 540 00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:20,263 (Doorbell rings) 541 00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,959 - Mr. Lovejoy. - (Tapping) 542 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,800 - Mr. Lovejoy? Mr... - (Tapping continues) 543 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,499 - What have you done with Khadija? - Isn't she supposed to be in your care? 544 00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:30,439 You won't deny you've seen her? 545 00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:32,238 No. 546 00:33:33,444 --> 00:33:36,379 Victoria tells me you claim a passion for antiques. 547 00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:38,405 My passion is Badenside school. 548 00:33:38,449 --> 00:33:40,610 I would do anything to protect it. 549 00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:43,744 That girl was placed in my trust. 550 00:33:43,788 --> 00:33:46,518 She's Richie Subhani's daughter, for goodness' sake. 551 00:33:46,557 --> 00:33:48,149 The newspaper owner, I know. 552 00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,650 Her sister, Aisha, is about to marry Bobby Khan. 553 00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:56,030 Richie Subhani craves the Khans' acceptance. 554 00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,934 This is a dynastic marriage, Mr. Lovejoy. 555 00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:03,304 Why did you lie to me about the folio? It's yours, isn't it? 556 00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:07,004 Yes, you knew that Khadija had stolen it, but why didn't you do something about it then? 557 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,036 Of course the Fuselis were ours. 558 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,672 Ah. 559 00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:19,812 Badenside was founded by Victorian England's foremost collector of pornographic literature. 560 00:34:19,857 --> 00:34:22,451 I wasn't about to advertise the fact. 561 00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:25,519 Especially to a rag-and-bone man. 562 00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:30,063 Miss Hemmingway, those books you're so ashamed of 563 00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:32,331 represent some of the great work of their time. 564 00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:34,998 Those pictures have a power, a beauty and integrity 565 00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:37,405 that would grace a cathedral, let alone a school. 566 00:34:37,442 --> 00:34:39,410 Now, I'm not in the dirty mac brigade, 567 00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:43,642 but I'd rather have a dirty mac round my shoulders than a plastic one around my mind. 568 00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:46,741 I don't care about the books, I care about Khadija. 569 00:34:46,784 --> 00:34:49,309 - I will not have a scandal! - You'd better see her, then. 570 00:34:49,353 --> 00:34:51,184 She's here? 571 00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:54,281 Little late to read the riot act. 572 00:34:58,362 --> 00:34:59,954 Where's Khadija? 573 00:34:59,997 --> 00:35:02,056 She's gone, she's taken Susan's car. 574 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:06,628 Mr. Lovejoy, if Khadija and the books aren't returned to school this afternoon 575 00:35:06,671 --> 00:35:08,002 I'm going to the police. 576 00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:11,736 And in any case, Victoria is expelled as of now. 577 00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:13,710 Excuse me. 578 00:35:13,744 --> 00:35:15,939 How could you let her take Susan's car? 579 00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:17,641 I found Garner. 580 00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:20,378 - Oh, Dad! You're so wonderful! - What? 581 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:23,012 Even Celia Finnigan couldn't get herself expelled. 582 00:35:23,054 --> 00:35:24,715 Look. 583 00:35:27,725 --> 00:35:31,593 (Eric) This is great training, this is. The fine art of breaking and entering. 584 00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:33,756 We could get two years for this. 585 00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,789 (Lovejoy) Just shut up, Eric. 586 00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:39,060 Get off my foot and give me that torch. 587 00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:46,404 What if he's waiting for us? He might be waiting for us with a shotgun. 588 00:35:46,444 --> 00:35:50,972 Or a bucket of ammonia for our eyes. He's a chemist, he'll have ammonia, and sulphuric acid. 589 00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:00,280 Turn that light on, Eric. 590 00:36:01,759 --> 00:36:03,090 Oh. 591 00:36:04,128 --> 00:36:07,620 That mad old bag. If she'd told us the books belonged to the school, 592 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,997 - we could've told her who had them days ago. - (Clang) 593 00:36:10,034 --> 00:36:11,899 (Cat yowling, dog barking) 594 00:36:13,037 --> 00:36:15,096 We don't even know the books are here. 595 00:36:15,139 --> 00:36:16,367 They could be anywhere. 596 00:36:16,407 --> 00:36:18,773 Take hours to search this place. 597 00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:23,303 And at any moment he could walk through that door with a shotgun, a bucket of ammonia, 598 00:36:23,347 --> 00:36:25,338 the police... Ohh! 599 00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:30,812 What the hell are you doing? That's radioactive. 600 00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:34,086 Eric, this is a small-town chemist, not Three Mile Island. 601 00:36:42,934 --> 00:36:45,494 - Come on. - But what about the books? 602 00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:47,868 - What books? - Lovejoy? 603 00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:50,934 (Crashing) 604 00:36:54,178 --> 00:36:55,509 - Janey. - Yeah? 605 00:36:55,546 --> 00:37:00,347 How would you like buy an enormous collection of stolen pornography? 606 00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:03,717 Why don't you ask Vicky? I'm sure she'd welcome the opportunity 607 00:37:03,754 --> 00:37:05,745 to enhance the reputation of the school. 608 00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:08,657 (Chuckles) It's her reputation I'm trying to salvage. 609 00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:12,686 If I can get the books back to Badenside, maybe I can bring Miss Hemmingway around. 610 00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:14,129 Without Khadija? 611 00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:17,623 Oh, she's next. Look, we know Garner's got the books, we know he wants to sell 'em, 612 00:37:17,668 --> 00:37:19,431 we've got to buy them, Janey. 613 00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:21,836 How do you suggest we advertise? 614 00:37:21,872 --> 00:37:26,206 In the Times? Lady Jane Felsham is at home to hot smut. 615 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,712 No, no, no, no, no. You can call this fence. 616 00:37:29,814 --> 00:37:31,805 Mr. Taffy Griffiths. 617 00:37:34,652 --> 00:37:38,110 You know, Melissa's never gonna forgive me for this. 618 00:37:38,155 --> 00:37:40,555 We've been at that school for, what is it now, five years, 619 00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:42,354 and the most exciting thing that has ever happened 620 00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:44,793 was when Celia Finnigan punched the games mistress on the nose. 621 00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:46,922 Oh, and Khadija's sister's going on the pill. 622 00:37:46,964 --> 00:37:49,956 Now Khadija's running a porn racket and I've been expelled. It's terrific! 623 00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:52,595 Oh, yeah, terrific. But Lovejoy's not gonna like it, is he? 624 00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:54,867 He's a great believer in education. 625 00:37:54,905 --> 00:37:56,896 That's why I'm with him, you know. 626 00:37:58,142 --> 00:38:00,133 No, I quite like it round here. 627 00:38:00,711 --> 00:38:03,077 I suppose I could go to school in London and live with Mum, 628 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:05,514 or I could live up here with Dad. 629 00:38:05,549 --> 00:38:07,380 Only, what school would I go to? 630 00:38:07,418 --> 00:38:09,943 Well, there's Clarke's College, that's a very good school. 631 00:38:09,987 --> 00:38:13,150 You don't go to polytechnic from there, you go to Bristol or Oxford. 632 00:38:13,190 --> 00:38:14,987 Strict discipline, you see. 633 00:38:15,026 --> 00:38:18,120 - I see. Where did you go? - Well, I went to St. John's. 634 00:38:18,529 --> 00:38:22,898 It was very rough. Teachers don't have any control, kids just mess about all the time. 635 00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:25,665 And they're frightening, some of those lads. 636 00:38:25,703 --> 00:38:27,762 Even today, I won't go near the place. 637 00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:29,602 Big, mean blokes they are. 638 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,040 - It's mixed? - I should say so. 639 00:38:32,076 --> 00:38:34,203 - (Clock chiming in distance) - Suits me fine. 640 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:37,271 Cripes, is that the time? Listen, I've got to go and get Lovejoy. 641 00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:42,309 Yes, yes, yes, of course, I understand. 642 00:38:42,353 --> 00:38:45,345 Now then, your husband's birthday, you said. 643 00:38:45,723 --> 00:38:48,453 Man of the world, is he? 644 00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:50,790 Oh, he's an aristocrat, then? 645 00:38:50,828 --> 00:38:54,423 Well, we'll be looking for something pretty saucy, then, won't we? 646 00:38:54,465 --> 00:38:58,492 A Daumier or a Fuseli or a Raimondi, perhaps. 647 00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:01,471 Oh, yes, yes, yes, top of the range of course. 648 00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:03,973 Pricey, you understand, but then... 649 00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:08,811 if he just wanted Playmate you could just pop down the local paper shop, couldn't you? 650 00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:10,814 Now, listen to me... 651 00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:14,742 This is an obscene phone call I'm paying for, Lovejoy. 652 00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:17,817 I'll kill you. 653 00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:19,846 - Oh, tell him... - No, no, I was talking to the dog. 654 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:23,519 Tell him you want the complete works. 655 00:39:23,561 --> 00:39:25,620 Yes, I would like the complete works. 656 00:39:25,663 --> 00:39:28,097 Yes, yes, of course, I understand. 657 00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:30,123 I apologize. The complete works. 658 00:39:30,167 --> 00:39:33,864 - Er, ten o'clock tomorrow be all right? - (Jane) Yes, that's fine. 659 00:39:33,904 --> 00:39:35,269 Just one more thing... 660 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:38,833 (Taffy talking, indistinct) 661 00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,867 No, I think not. 662 00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,646 What was that? 663 00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:45,808 He said since he was dealing with aristocracy, 664 00:39:45,850 --> 00:39:49,081 would it be appropriate to print "by appointment" on his letterheads? 665 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,644 (Laughs) 666 00:40:01,599 --> 00:40:03,260 - Lovejoy. - Hello, Susan. 667 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:05,359 - You owe me an explanation. - I know. 668 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,839 - Er, what was the question? - Where's my bloody car? 669 00:40:08,873 --> 00:40:10,738 Ah, now, that I don't know. 670 00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:13,175 - Words fail me. - Do they? 671 00:40:13,210 --> 00:40:16,270 On parents' day, you tried to steal the school bookshelves, 672 00:40:16,313 --> 00:40:18,713 and then you offer the headmistress pornography. 673 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:22,583 Next, you stand us up at the Savoy for some smutty auction. 674 00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:24,611 I thought that was as low as you could sink, 675 00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:26,748 but Mrs. Harrington-Morse phoned yesterday. 676 00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:30,090 You stormed into her house, raving like a madman, 677 00:40:30,127 --> 00:40:34,689 insulted her husband, and then tried to kidnap your own daughter in my car. 678 00:40:34,732 --> 00:40:38,327 Do you know, I've just driven 50 miles in a taxi. 679 00:40:38,369 --> 00:40:41,827 Apart from ruining Vicky's holiday, how do you suppose she's going to live this down at school? 680 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:43,635 Oh, she won't have to, she's been... 681 00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:45,005 What? 682 00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,033 She's been expelled. 683 00:40:47,077 --> 00:40:49,045 Well, I want a divorce! 684 00:40:49,079 --> 00:40:51,172 - You got one. - Again! 685 00:40:51,215 --> 00:40:53,115 Vicky? 686 00:40:53,150 --> 00:40:54,481 Oh... 687 00:40:55,553 --> 00:40:58,989 Right, that's it, I've had enough. 688 00:41:00,391 --> 00:41:03,224 - Right, come on. - We've decided Dad's gonna bring me up. 689 00:41:04,662 --> 00:41:07,529 I wouldn't trust your father to bring up his lunch. 690 00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:12,125 Oh, God. Everyone back on the coach. 691 00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:17,303 There you go, then, man, you won't see better than that. 692 00:41:17,341 --> 00:41:19,309 Not in a month in Bangkok. 693 00:41:19,343 --> 00:41:22,335 Gift of a lifetime, that is. Take your pick. 694 00:41:22,379 --> 00:41:25,712 Quite. But I am only interested in complete collections. 695 00:41:25,749 --> 00:41:28,081 Oh, do, do. 696 00:41:28,118 --> 00:41:31,815 All I ever get for my birthday is socks and underpants. 697 00:41:31,856 --> 00:41:34,825 I wish my wife was as broad-minded as you are. 698 00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:35,848 (Clears throat) 699 00:41:38,362 --> 00:41:40,353 - Well, I think your wife... - Eric. 700 00:41:40,965 --> 00:41:42,956 A teenage girl should be with her mother. 701 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,025 Shut up, Eric. 702 00:41:48,005 --> 00:41:52,305 Lady Jane, I have received a number of offers for single pieces. 703 00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:54,937 You understand that were I to dispose of the whole collection, 704 00:41:54,979 --> 00:41:57,345 I would of course have to take this into account. 705 00:41:57,381 --> 00:42:00,544 Of course. You have brought the entire collection? 706 00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:03,178 Lock, stock and barrel. 707 00:42:03,220 --> 00:42:05,347 Twenty grand. Cash. 708 00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:08,517 That's a lot to pay for stolen goods, isn't it, Mr. Griffiths? 709 00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:11,027 Especially someone else's stolen goods, Taffy. 710 00:42:11,061 --> 00:42:12,551 Lovejoy! 711 00:42:15,466 --> 00:42:17,934 Eric! Eric, not after them! No, no, come on. 712 00:42:17,968 --> 00:42:20,163 Take all this stuff back to Badenside. 713 00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:21,933 - Car keys! - They're in the car. 714 00:42:57,575 --> 00:43:00,100 (Jane) I think it's safe to say we've lost him. 715 00:43:00,144 --> 00:43:02,339 I don't him, we're going after the girl. 716 00:43:02,379 --> 00:43:04,210 Do you know where she is? 717 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:07,911 First time I saw Garner, he was talking about someone called Bobby. 718 00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:11,183 I've just found out who Bobby is - he's only interested in Khadija 719 00:43:11,221 --> 00:43:13,246 because of her big sister. 720 00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:31,464 - (Girl) Hello. - Hello. 721 00:43:31,508 --> 00:43:33,305 Oh, my God. 722 00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:46,279 (Screams) 723 00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:49,884 Oh, my goodness, you gave me a fright. What are you doing here? 724 00:43:49,927 --> 00:43:51,918 I'm here to see the headmistress. 725 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:54,396 - Name? - Er, Miss Hemmingway. 726 00:43:54,431 --> 00:43:57,889 No, no, no, no. Your name. 727 00:43:57,935 --> 00:43:59,766 Oh. Ha. Eric. 728 00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,737 Eric Catchpole. 729 00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,534 You're not on my list. What's it in connection with? 730 00:44:06,577 --> 00:44:08,101 Well, I'm delivering some books. 731 00:44:08,145 --> 00:44:10,477 Ah, Civis Romanus. 732 00:44:10,514 --> 00:44:12,505 I shall have to count them. 733 00:44:19,523 --> 00:44:21,491 (Shrieks) 734 00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:22,924 Filth! 735 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,494 (Alarm blaring) 736 00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,291 What on earth is going on? 737 00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:30,732 Well, don't ask me, I'm just delivering the books. 738 00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,867 (Alarm stops) 739 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:43,503 There's one missing. Where's Lovejoy? 740 00:44:43,547 --> 00:44:45,538 Well, I don't know. 741 00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:47,140 (Girls cheering outside) 742 00:44:48,919 --> 00:44:51,046 (Hooter, bicycle bill) 743 00:44:51,088 --> 00:44:52,749 (Car horn) 744 00:44:55,359 --> 00:44:57,919 (Lovejoy humming melody) 745 00:44:59,296 --> 00:45:01,025 Susan's car. 746 00:45:01,965 --> 00:45:03,557 (Humming) 747 00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:08,130 (Clock chiming) 748 00:45:12,242 --> 00:45:15,837 - Going to the library? - Oh, please, leave me alone. 749 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:19,246 That man's a crook, Khadija, even if he got the money. 750 00:45:19,283 --> 00:45:21,183 What? Didn't he get his money? 751 00:45:21,218 --> 00:45:23,550 - No, he didn't. It won't work, Khadija. - (Boy) Geronimo! 752 00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,351 Even if you paid Garner off, he'd be back once the money ran out. 753 00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:28,381 It's not pretty, blackmail, is it, Aisha? 754 00:45:28,425 --> 00:45:30,325 How do you know Charles Garner? 755 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,158 Garner did a pregnancy test for you two years ago. 756 00:45:34,298 --> 00:45:36,289 Positive, wasn't it? 757 00:45:41,371 --> 00:45:44,704 Oh, you got them. You got them! 758 00:45:58,922 --> 00:46:00,913 Oh, really! 759 00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:47,603 - Khadija, Aisha. - I'm sorry. 760 00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,402 Khadija was only trying to help. I'm in desperate trouble. 761 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,431 - What sort of trouble? - When I was at Badenside 762 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:55,411 I thought I was pregnant. I couldn't go to the school doctor, 763 00:46:55,445 --> 00:46:57,436 so I went to a local chemist for a test. 764 00:46:57,481 --> 00:47:00,541 - A chemist! - I didn't have anywhere else to go, did I? 765 00:47:00,584 --> 00:47:03,917 The test was positive, so I had an abortion. 766 00:47:03,954 --> 00:47:06,445 - It was horrible. - But then she met Bobby Khan. 767 00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:07,980 And I fell in love with him. 768 00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:10,323 But the chemist read about us in the papers. 769 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,851 He said he knew the Khans wouldn't let me marry Bobby 770 00:47:12,896 --> 00:47:15,296 if they were shown proof that I wasn't a virgin. 771 00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:18,392 Garner tried to sell me the pregnancy test results, 772 00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:20,335 but he said they'd be very expensive. 773 00:47:20,370 --> 00:47:24,864 And then when Garner found out that Khadija was stealing expensive prints to pay him off, 774 00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:26,500 he tried to cut out the middle man. 775 00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:29,239 My poor child. Why on earth didn't you come to me? 776 00:47:29,279 --> 00:47:32,407 Why? You wouldn't let Aisha take the pill in the first place. 777 00:47:32,449 --> 00:47:34,713 It's your fault she got pregnant. 778 00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:38,209 As a chemist, I would suggest that was a biological impossibility. 779 00:47:38,255 --> 00:47:41,952 Please, no more violence. He's already fractured my skull. 780 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:47,961 Madam, it appears your pupils have little understanding of the rudiments of blackmail. 781 00:47:47,998 --> 00:47:50,899 Allow me to enlighten you all. 782 00:47:50,934 --> 00:47:53,459 Unless somebody gives me my money immediately, 783 00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:56,336 I'm going to take Aisha's medical records to her prospective hus... 784 00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:59,706 Oh, you mean these medical records. 785 00:48:08,118 --> 00:48:10,848 Yeah, well, there's nothing to stop me going to Robert Khan anyway. 786 00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:13,948 Nothing at all, but it'd be your word against Miss Hemmingway's. 787 00:48:13,991 --> 00:48:18,690 Aisha spent that entire week helping Miss Hemmingway catalog the school library, 788 00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,856 - didn't she, Miss Hemmingway? - What week? 789 00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,025 - Any week you care to claim otherwise. - So she did. 790 00:48:26,336 --> 00:48:28,600 So, it's back to the cough drops, Garner. 791 00:48:28,639 --> 00:48:30,630 You've got nothing to tell. 792 00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:33,966 (Girls cheering) 793 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:41,010 Oh, thank you, Lovejoy. Thank you for everything. 794 00:48:41,485 --> 00:48:46,218 You have my thanks too. And I shall look forward to seeing Vicky next term. 795 00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:49,521 There's, er, just the question of the fees. 796 00:48:49,559 --> 00:48:51,527 - Ah. - But we can settle those 797 00:48:51,561 --> 00:48:53,552 when we get your bill. 798 00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:55,827 Your bill for valuing and cataloging the books. 799 00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:59,029 It'll have to be done before they're put on public display. 800 00:48:59,069 --> 00:49:01,401 Not a cathedral, I think, nor a school, 801 00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:03,599 but perhaps you can suggest a gallery. 802 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,312 - (Cameras clicking) - Now, if you use this, it's gotta be cash, right? 803 00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:27,221 When I think of Vicky spending the night in that man's house. 804 00:49:27,264 --> 00:49:30,927 Still, Peter King phoned this morning, full of effusive apologies. 805 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:34,597 Wanted to thank me for dissociating the agency from Homestead before the whistle blew, 806 00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,401 so I must be forgiven. 807 00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,840 - He asked after you. - He always was two-faced. 808 00:49:38,875 --> 00:49:40,467 Still, he's in advertising. 809 00:49:40,510 --> 00:49:42,808 Oh, Lovejoy, let me help you with the school fees. 810 00:49:42,846 --> 00:49:46,976 Oh, there's no need to. Miss Hemmingway, apart from taking young Victoria back, 811 00:49:47,017 --> 00:49:50,509 - is also going to hire me. - What? 812 00:49:50,554 --> 00:49:53,887 Yeah, you're going back. Lovejoy's fixed it with your headmistress. 813 00:49:53,924 --> 00:49:55,585 Well, say goodbye, Vicky. 814 00:49:56,593 --> 00:49:59,187 Goodbye, Eric. You tell that double-crossing pig, 815 00:49:59,229 --> 00:50:01,060 I'll never speak to him again. 816 00:50:01,098 --> 00:50:03,498 Well, I'll just have to say goodbye for you. 817 00:50:09,740 --> 00:50:12,265 And we will have that lunch sometime. 818 00:50:12,309 --> 00:50:14,174 Bought you a present. 819 00:50:14,211 --> 00:50:15,803 Oh, Lovejoy. 820 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,507 In the boot! 821 00:50:24,921 --> 00:50:27,116 (Shrieks) Lovejoy! 822 00:50:27,166 --> 00:50:31,716 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 68325

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.