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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,799 Uh... engine and gearbox? 2 00:00:56,836 --> 00:00:58,827 Yeah. 3 00:00:58,872 --> 00:01:02,000 £1,000?! You've got to be joking! 4 00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:07,572 I didn't know war had been declared. 5 00:01:07,614 --> 00:01:10,845 - Lovejoy. - Unless the army's delivering writs. 6 00:01:15,121 --> 00:01:17,783 - Are you restoring that? - Restoring? 7 00:01:17,824 --> 00:01:19,815 Oh, yes. Yes. 8 00:01:19,859 --> 00:01:21,850 - Restoring. - Regency. 9 00:01:21,895 --> 00:01:25,228 Yeah, it will be. Will be a very nice piece again. 10 00:01:25,865 --> 00:01:27,856 - Late Regency. - Very late. 11 00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:30,802 - It should have been done this week. - You're a divvy. 12 00:01:30,837 --> 00:01:33,101 - What's in a name, Sergeant? - Major. 13 00:01:33,139 --> 00:01:35,539 - Sergeant Major. - No, the name's Major Chatfield. 14 00:01:35,575 --> 00:01:37,566 - Lovejoy, I'll be honest. - Must you? 15 00:01:37,610 --> 00:01:41,410 - You weren't my first choice. - I rarely am, but I'm unspoiled by failure. 16 00:01:41,447 --> 00:01:44,245 Do you know anything about paintings, pictures? 17 00:01:44,284 --> 00:01:49,187 Well, on a clear day with a following wind, I can tell a Picasso from a Pizarro. 18 00:01:54,561 --> 00:01:55,721 What do you think of this? 19 00:01:55,795 --> 00:01:59,424 Rule 1, always check there isn't a Christie's number on the back. 20 00:01:59,465 --> 00:02:03,196 - It can save a lot of face. - Could you sell it for me? 21 00:02:03,236 --> 00:02:05,067 - No. - Why not? 22 00:02:05,104 --> 00:02:08,335 - I sell antiques. This was done yesterday. - Two years ago actually. 23 00:02:08,374 --> 00:02:10,365 Ashley Wilkes, the Gypsy painter. 24 00:02:11,144 --> 00:02:13,772 Well, he's not actually a Gypo. He's more of a nomad. 25 00:02:13,813 --> 00:02:16,941 Travels with his paints in the back of the van. Only took him two hours. 26 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:22,615 Really? Talent like that, shame he didn't spend two days on it or two weeks. 27 00:02:22,655 --> 00:02:24,850 - You think he can paint? - I know he can. 28 00:02:25,558 --> 00:02:28,083 - Can you find him for me? - What? 29 00:02:28,127 --> 00:02:30,118 - Find him. - Sell the painting? 30 00:02:30,163 --> 00:02:32,358 Find the artist? I'm not Sherlock Holmes. No. 31 00:02:32,398 --> 00:02:35,697 If he's gone AWOL, try the Salvation Army or the News of the World. 32 00:02:35,735 --> 00:02:39,967 I can't afford publicity, any more than you can afford to turn me down. 33 00:02:40,006 --> 00:02:42,600 - Oh, can't I? - You're behind with your rates. 34 00:02:42,642 --> 00:02:46,134 You owe three months' rent and the bank has started to bounce your checks. 35 00:02:46,179 --> 00:02:47,669 Temporary cash flow. 36 00:02:47,714 --> 00:02:50,376 You owe four dealers in the area that I know of 37 00:02:50,416 --> 00:02:53,715 and you still haven't paid last quarter's garage bill. 38 00:02:53,753 --> 00:02:56,779 - I admire thoroughness. - 200 a day? 39 00:02:56,823 --> 00:02:58,154 Three days in advance. 40 00:02:58,191 --> 00:03:00,182 OK. 41 00:03:00,226 --> 00:03:02,217 Why do you want him found? 42 00:03:02,262 --> 00:03:05,789 I promised him a job if it came up, a mural in the officers' mess. 43 00:03:05,832 --> 00:03:08,062 - When could you start? - You're hustling me. 44 00:03:08,101 --> 00:03:11,195 But I am between jobs. 45 00:03:12,672 --> 00:03:14,663 You're between jobs a lot. 46 00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,675 Mm-hm. 47 00:03:22,515 --> 00:03:24,506 - Did he bite? - Yes, I think so. 48 00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:26,916 - "Think"? Either he did or he didn't? - Yes, he bit. 49 00:03:26,953 --> 00:03:28,853 - How long will it take? - He doesn't know. 50 00:03:28,888 --> 00:03:30,617 - You said it was urgent? - Of course. 51 00:03:31,157 --> 00:03:35,617 A serving major in the British army, all spit and polish, looking for an artist? 52 00:03:35,662 --> 00:03:38,529 I should cocoa. To paint a mural? 53 00:03:38,564 --> 00:03:41,032 Biggest load of cobblers I've heard in years. 54 00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:43,535 Still, the money's useful. 55 00:03:43,569 --> 00:03:45,764 Come to think of it, any money's useful. 56 00:03:46,372 --> 00:03:48,863 (Tinker) Why get involved? (Lovejoy) I'm intrigued. 57 00:03:48,908 --> 00:03:50,899 It only took him two hours. 58 00:03:50,943 --> 00:03:53,707 (Tinker) Blimey! (Lovejoy) Exactly. 59 00:03:54,247 --> 00:03:56,238 How do we find him, Tink? 60 00:03:56,282 --> 00:03:58,273 You'll have to go on the knocker. 61 00:03:58,318 --> 00:04:00,309 Oh, no. Life's too short. 62 00:04:00,353 --> 00:04:02,412 It is for the Morris. I'm sure of that. 63 00:04:02,455 --> 00:04:05,151 - Pity Eric's not here. - Yeah. 64 00:04:05,191 --> 00:04:07,523 - Where is he? - He's in Wales. 65 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,255 - What's he doing? - Thank you, love. 66 00:04:09,295 --> 00:04:12,423 - Fishing. - We should bait a couple of hooks ourselves. 67 00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:14,456 I've already done that. 68 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,162 - Called Lisa at the Advertiser. - Don't you owe her? 69 00:04:17,203 --> 00:04:20,695 - Of course. This is her chance to break even. - That's what you said last time. 70 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,731 Whose side are you on, Tink? 71 00:04:22,775 --> 00:04:24,766 What did you put in? 72 00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:30,215 "American buyer wishes to purchase genuine Ashley Wilkes for cash." 73 00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:33,041 Old US dollars, the greenbacks. 74 00:04:33,086 --> 00:04:36,214 - Should get their greedy little minds working. - Yeah. 75 00:04:37,023 --> 00:04:39,014 Ashley Wilkes... 76 00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:41,049 Are you sure you don't know him? 77 00:04:41,094 --> 00:04:43,085 Works out the back of his jam jar. 78 00:04:43,129 --> 00:04:46,257 So does the double-glazing man, Lovejoy, but is it art? 79 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:53,161 (Door closing) 80 00:04:53,206 --> 00:04:55,197 (Footsteps approaching) 81 00:04:57,577 --> 00:04:59,568 (Woman) Hello. You there! 82 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,671 I'm talking to you! 83 00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:08,287 - Me? - You. What are you doing? 84 00:05:09,088 --> 00:05:11,648 Oh, a daub or two. 85 00:05:12,692 --> 00:05:14,751 An ill-favored thing, but mine own. 86 00:05:14,794 --> 00:05:17,388 - Shouldn't you have asked? - Asked? 87 00:05:18,297 --> 00:05:21,027 You'd have me ask God if I can paint the sky next. 88 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,228 It's my cottage, not God's. 89 00:05:24,203 --> 00:05:26,194 The most attractive I've seen all summer. 90 00:05:26,239 --> 00:05:28,230 Oh, you think so? 91 00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:30,265 Oh, yes. 92 00:05:30,309 --> 00:05:32,300 Yes, it's beautiful. 93 00:05:32,345 --> 00:05:35,872 The proportions, it's like a handsome face. It has structure. 94 00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:38,315 Looks good now. It'll look good in 50 years. 95 00:05:39,652 --> 00:05:41,643 A thing of beauty is a joy forever. 96 00:05:43,389 --> 00:05:45,380 How long will it take? 97 00:05:45,425 --> 00:05:48,223 Well, you know what they say. You can't hurry art. 98 00:05:49,028 --> 00:05:52,828 Oh, I'm not trying to hurry you. It's just that I have to go out later. 99 00:05:52,865 --> 00:05:56,926 That's all right. I've got everything I need, palette, easel, subject. 100 00:05:57,937 --> 00:06:00,462 Do you ever sell them? The finished canvases. 101 00:06:02,809 --> 00:06:04,800 Occasionally. 102 00:06:05,678 --> 00:06:08,545 Perhaps before you leave, you'd knock on the door? 103 00:06:09,382 --> 00:06:11,373 Maybe I could beg a cup of something. 104 00:06:12,552 --> 00:06:14,543 It might be arranged. 105 00:06:14,587 --> 00:06:16,782 - You should do that more often. - What? 106 00:06:16,823 --> 00:06:19,792 Smile. It lights up the day. 107 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:24,791 Your skin has a luster that you don't often see outside porcelain. 108 00:06:26,532 --> 00:06:29,660 - What's your name? - Oh, Wilkes. 109 00:06:31,437 --> 00:06:33,064 Ashley Wilkes. 110 00:06:33,105 --> 00:06:35,699 And then I thought we could slip over to Orford. 111 00:06:37,977 --> 00:06:39,968 Orford? 112 00:06:40,012 --> 00:06:42,480 - What's at Orford? - What, apart from us? 113 00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:46,384 Oysters. They grow them in Buttley Creek. 114 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,711 Sounds good. 115 00:06:49,755 --> 00:06:53,088 And then, I thought, perhaps a little salmon, 116 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,116 cured over oak. 117 00:06:55,161 --> 00:06:59,757 Mm... Think I'd like to be cured over oak? 118 00:06:59,799 --> 00:07:01,790 You're not ready for the cure. 119 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:03,893 - I'm not? - No. 120 00:07:04,904 --> 00:07:06,895 You're far too wicked. 121 00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:08,930 Thank goodness. 122 00:07:10,376 --> 00:07:12,367 - Where's Harry? - Germany. 123 00:07:12,411 --> 00:07:15,141 - When's he back? - Not till Friday. 124 00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:18,073 Why not pop round on Thursday? 125 00:07:19,519 --> 00:07:21,510 I can hardly wait. 126 00:07:21,554 --> 00:07:23,545 Hm... One of yours? 127 00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:28,460 Good God, no! It's Lovejoy. 128 00:07:29,161 --> 00:07:32,028 - Who's he? - Local peasantry. 129 00:07:32,064 --> 00:07:34,589 Excuse me. Why don't you browse a bit? 130 00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:43,202 Good God, Lovejoy, haven't you got shot of this motor yet? 131 00:07:43,242 --> 00:07:48,077 Miriam has only had one previous owner, who happens to be a real lady. 132 00:07:48,114 --> 00:07:50,241 You look as if you're delivering King Edwards. 133 00:07:50,283 --> 00:07:52,444 Why not do the decent thing, have her put down? 134 00:07:52,485 --> 00:07:56,888 Shh! I will, when I can afford to replace her. 135 00:07:56,923 --> 00:07:59,653 - Things can't be that bad, surely? - You want a bet? 136 00:07:59,692 --> 00:08:02,718 - How's it looking? - You tell me. 137 00:08:04,697 --> 00:08:06,688 Oh... (Chuckling) 138 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,491 Yes. Good. Very good. 139 00:08:09,535 --> 00:08:13,972 Mmm. 30 percent mark-up and you didn't even have to dirty your donnies. 140 00:08:14,006 --> 00:08:15,997 Um... Lovejoy... 141 00:08:16,509 --> 00:08:19,137 - Brass handles. - What about them? 142 00:08:19,178 --> 00:08:21,169 How does one... age them? 143 00:08:21,213 --> 00:08:24,740 Depends on which one we're talking about, this one or this one? 144 00:08:25,952 --> 00:08:29,251 Ah. Find yourself a local farmer with a muck-spreading tank. 145 00:08:29,288 --> 00:08:31,279 - Muck? - Best way. 146 00:08:31,324 --> 00:08:34,020 - Are you having me on? - No. It's the ammonia in the cow piss. 147 00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:36,051 - Do you mind? - Life is real, dude. 148 00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:38,154 Well, it doesn't have to be that real. 149 00:08:38,197 --> 00:08:41,963 Ashley Wilkes, painter, contemporary. Have you heard of him? 150 00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:44,401 - Ashley Wilkes? - Yeah. I need to find him. 151 00:08:44,437 --> 00:08:46,428 Name's familiar. 152 00:08:46,472 --> 00:08:50,033 There was a Wilkes used to run a weekend art school on a farm near Braintree. 153 00:08:50,076 --> 00:08:53,307 - You sure? - Yes, unless it was a different Wilkes. 154 00:08:53,346 --> 00:08:55,974 Uh... shouldn't you, uh... be somewhere? 155 00:08:56,015 --> 00:08:58,006 No. 156 00:08:59,485 --> 00:09:01,476 (Chuckling) 157 00:09:03,623 --> 00:09:05,614 Oh, Alec... 158 00:09:17,737 --> 00:09:20,228 Do you think he uses unleaded? 159 00:09:20,773 --> 00:09:23,799 (Answering machine) Hello, Mr. Lovejoy. This is Alison Jukes. 160 00:09:23,843 --> 00:09:25,834 I have an antique shop in Lisden. 161 00:09:25,878 --> 00:09:29,211 I also have an Ashley Wilkes if you care to come and have a look at it. 162 00:09:29,248 --> 00:09:33,014 - Heads. - Tails it is. I'll take Miss Jukes. 163 00:09:33,052 --> 00:09:35,043 - You take Braintree. - Braintree? 164 00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:37,385 - Yeah. Why not? - How am I going to get there? 165 00:09:37,423 --> 00:09:40,017 - Your bike's outside. - I can't bike to Braintree! 166 00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:42,584 No excuses, Tink. You've always wanted to be a painter. 167 00:09:42,628 --> 00:09:44,459 - Have I? - Yeah. 168 00:09:44,497 --> 00:09:46,795 - I must have forgotten. - This is your big chance. 169 00:09:46,832 --> 00:09:48,823 Go down a hick, come back a Hockney. 170 00:09:48,868 --> 00:09:51,268 - It'll cost you. - Use the bread you owe me. 171 00:09:51,937 --> 00:09:54,132 - But you owe me! - Well, use that, then. 172 00:10:02,848 --> 00:10:05,510 I asked him to call as soon as he knew something. 173 00:10:19,465 --> 00:10:21,456 (Car horn) 174 00:10:32,144 --> 00:10:34,135 (Buzzer) 175 00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:48,921 - Love the Ince and Mayhew. - Good. 176 00:10:50,196 --> 00:10:52,255 - What about the secretaire? - Ahem. 177 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,991 Go on. 178 00:10:57,036 --> 00:10:59,027 Well, some you win, some you don't. 179 00:10:59,071 --> 00:11:01,801 - You don't think it could be genuine? - It could. 180 00:11:03,109 --> 00:11:05,100 But you don't think so? 181 00:11:06,112 --> 00:11:08,103 - It is signed. - In Biro? 182 00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,138 Please! 183 00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:13,341 J.H. Riesener. 184 00:11:13,385 --> 00:11:16,718 - It's even spelt right. - Well, it's signed, but not by him. 185 00:11:16,756 --> 00:11:18,747 I'd stake my name on that. 186 00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:21,259 - Which is? - Lovejoy. We spoke earlier. 187 00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:47,442 - Is this what you're looking for? - Oh, that's my boy. 188 00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,750 He's got a thing about Suffolk cottages. 189 00:11:49,789 --> 00:11:52,155 I bought it from a local man in part exchange. 190 00:11:52,191 --> 00:11:56,150 - May I ask who? - I thought you were interested in the painting. 191 00:11:56,195 --> 00:11:58,186 The painter actually. 192 00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:01,358 What's in it for me? I run an antique shop, not a dating agency. 193 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,336 - I could help you move the Ince and Mayhew. - No help needed, thank you. 194 00:12:05,371 --> 00:12:08,135 - How about the William Derby sketch. - No thank you. 195 00:12:08,174 --> 00:12:10,972 - What can you do for me with the secretaire? - Oh, no, no. 196 00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:13,808 Now, we both know that's known in the trade as an own goal. 197 00:12:13,846 --> 00:12:16,713 - It can happen to the best of us. - You're a big help. 198 00:12:16,749 --> 00:12:19,377 Well, as Nelson said, "You've got to have an eye for it." 199 00:12:20,619 --> 00:12:23,611 Mr. Lovejoy, I don't think we're going to do business. 200 00:12:23,656 --> 00:12:27,456 - All I want is an address. - Well, I suggest you try British Telecom. 201 00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:29,484 Or the Post Office. 202 00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:37,260 Hello. You know, you should always check the pockets of things that you buy. 203 00:12:37,303 --> 00:12:39,294 I always do. 204 00:12:39,338 --> 00:12:42,774 George III, 1787, Spade guinea piece. 205 00:12:42,808 --> 00:12:45,140 Now, you don't get many of those for a quid. 206 00:12:45,177 --> 00:12:47,168 Thank you, very much. 207 00:12:47,213 --> 00:12:50,478 I once found a child's amber pendant in a lady's reticule. 208 00:12:50,516 --> 00:12:52,507 It's now in Bury Museum. 209 00:12:52,551 --> 00:12:54,542 How about that address? 210 00:13:27,653 --> 00:13:29,644 Oh, hello. Can I help? 211 00:13:29,688 --> 00:13:32,020 Um... 212 00:13:32,057 --> 00:13:34,685 - Art classes. - Yes, that's right. 213 00:13:34,727 --> 00:13:36,718 Uh... I've come to enroll. 214 00:13:36,762 --> 00:13:40,220 - I'm not another Gauguin, I'm afraid. - Very few around this year. 215 00:13:40,266 --> 00:13:43,394 A Mr. Wilkes, Ashley Wilkes, does he still teach? 216 00:13:43,435 --> 00:13:46,097 Yes. You're in luck. He's only here on Sundays. 217 00:13:46,138 --> 00:13:49,471 - Are you involved? - No, not any longer. 218 00:13:49,508 --> 00:13:51,499 It's in the barn, over there. 219 00:14:02,655 --> 00:14:04,646 Hello. 220 00:14:05,257 --> 00:14:07,248 My name's Lovejoy. 221 00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:09,557 - I've nothing to sell. - I'm not buying. 222 00:14:09,595 --> 00:14:11,790 - Nor do I want to buy. - I'm not selling. 223 00:14:16,001 --> 00:14:20,734 You sold a painting recently of your cottage by an artist called Wilkes. 224 00:14:20,773 --> 00:14:23,435 What about it? It was mine to sell. 225 00:14:23,475 --> 00:14:25,466 Oh, I'm interested in finding Wilkes. 226 00:14:26,145 --> 00:14:29,808 - Why? - A client of mine's offered him a commission. 227 00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:34,576 He did it a couple of summers ago. My wife bought it. 228 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:36,884 Oh. Maybe it's her I should be talking to. 229 00:14:36,922 --> 00:14:38,913 Chance would be a fine thing. 230 00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:42,450 You never met him? 231 00:14:42,494 --> 00:14:45,292 - No. - Sorry? You never met him? 232 00:14:46,031 --> 00:14:48,022 I wouldn't have forgotten. 233 00:14:50,202 --> 00:14:52,727 - And that's all you have to say? - That's all. 234 00:14:54,673 --> 00:14:56,664 What's this called? 235 00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:58,700 - Robert le diable. - Thought so. 236 00:15:19,231 --> 00:15:21,222 (Sighing) 237 00:16:12,217 --> 00:16:15,277 It's just possible that he's some kind of journalist. 238 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,311 (Inaudible) 239 00:16:59,765 --> 00:17:01,756 (Knock at the door) 240 00:17:06,438 --> 00:17:08,269 - Hello. - Hello. 241 00:17:08,307 --> 00:17:10,298 It's going to rain. 242 00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:14,842 - Can you feel it in your bones? - No. I heard it on the radio. 243 00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:18,648 - Lovejoy. - I hope you can make your pitch outside. 244 00:17:18,684 --> 00:17:22,085 - Why's that? - I'm told I have to be careful who I let in. 245 00:17:22,121 --> 00:17:25,420 - I've never mugged a client yet. - But I'm not a client yet. 246 00:17:25,457 --> 00:17:28,392 Were you this cautious with Ashley Wilkes? 247 00:17:38,837 --> 00:17:42,398 - Do you know anything about ivory? - Enough to know I don't want to touch it. 248 00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:45,569 - This one's started to crack. - That's the central heating. 249 00:17:45,611 --> 00:17:47,806 - Seriously? - Got to keep ivory humid. 250 00:17:47,846 --> 00:17:49,837 See where it's been mended before? 251 00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:54,275 Love a cup of tea. 252 00:17:54,319 --> 00:17:56,514 - What? - Tea. 253 00:17:56,555 --> 00:17:58,546 - Earl Grey in a bag? - Terrific. 254 00:17:58,590 --> 00:18:01,320 - Lemon? - Oh, no. Milk with three lumps, please. 255 00:18:47,039 --> 00:18:49,030 Cute. 256 00:18:50,943 --> 00:18:52,934 - Why hide it? - It embarrasses me. 257 00:18:52,978 --> 00:18:54,969 - How come? - Do I have to? 258 00:18:55,013 --> 00:18:57,004 I can't force you. 259 00:18:57,049 --> 00:18:59,813 I was conned. Makes me angry to admit it. 260 00:18:59,851 --> 00:19:01,842 - How did he work it? - Oh... 261 00:19:03,222 --> 00:19:05,782 I came down. He was outside painting. 262 00:19:06,725 --> 00:19:08,556 I suppose I was flattered. 263 00:19:08,594 --> 00:19:11,563 Next thing I know, it's out with the check book and I bought it, 264 00:19:11,597 --> 00:19:15,192 literally, metaphorically and every other which way. 265 00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:19,329 - Good with the chat, eh? - He could sell snow to Eskimos. 266 00:19:19,371 --> 00:19:22,431 - Seen him since? - No, and I don't want to. 267 00:19:23,408 --> 00:19:26,468 - And you're still angry. - Yes! I was old enough to know better. 268 00:19:26,511 --> 00:19:28,502 I've no excuses. 269 00:19:36,922 --> 00:19:38,913 That's good. Good. 270 00:19:44,596 --> 00:19:46,086 Yes, that's excellent. 271 00:19:46,131 --> 00:19:51,831 He drives around in an old banger, you know, Wilkes? Ex-GPO van. 272 00:19:52,871 --> 00:19:54,862 Damn good wicket if you ask me. 273 00:19:55,641 --> 00:19:57,632 And you've never seen him since? 274 00:19:59,344 --> 00:20:04,213 Now, other people in the village, they bought pictures too, right? 275 00:20:04,249 --> 00:20:05,739 I believe so, yes. 276 00:20:07,819 --> 00:20:11,516 - Let's give you the other half, Mr. Lovejoy. - I shouldn't really. I'm driving. 277 00:20:11,556 --> 00:20:13,547 I'll fetch it. 278 00:20:14,593 --> 00:20:17,187 I buy a barrel every summer from Gabby's farm. 279 00:20:20,465 --> 00:20:22,456 Mr. Lovejoy... 280 00:20:23,568 --> 00:20:26,799 ...about this painting, as straight as I can make it... 281 00:20:27,639 --> 00:20:29,800 ...the £200, 282 00:20:29,841 --> 00:20:32,742 one of the best investments I've made in years. 283 00:20:32,778 --> 00:20:35,542 No, no, no, not one of the best... 284 00:20:36,348 --> 00:20:37,838 ...THE best. 285 00:20:39,351 --> 00:20:42,343 It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say it's um... 286 00:20:43,722 --> 00:20:45,713 ...revitalized our marriage. 287 00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:50,891 Revitalized it. Do I need to say more? 288 00:20:50,929 --> 00:20:56,094 No. I've always believed that art should have a therapeutic effect. 289 00:20:56,134 --> 00:20:58,125 Yes. (Laughing) 290 00:20:58,170 --> 00:21:00,661 Yes. Very good! 291 00:21:01,673 --> 00:21:03,664 (Humming) 292 00:21:12,184 --> 00:21:14,175 (Woman) You'll never finish them. 293 00:21:15,754 --> 00:21:17,813 - One day. - Oh, yeah? 294 00:21:19,091 --> 00:21:23,289 No, you'll see. The Japanese collectors will be falling over themselves. 295 00:21:23,328 --> 00:21:28,630 (Japanese accent) Ah, Wilkes-san, toast of Osaka, Yokohama, Kyoto, Shanghai... 296 00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:32,103 - That's China. - Ah, very big in China too. 297 00:21:40,545 --> 00:21:43,309 - Give it a year. - What? 298 00:21:43,348 --> 00:21:46,249 Drop everything for a year. 299 00:21:46,284 --> 00:21:48,582 Finish them. 300 00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:50,611 End of the summer. Maybe. 301 00:21:53,925 --> 00:21:57,156 Words, so many words. 302 00:22:01,133 --> 00:22:02,964 You got anything on this week? 303 00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:05,401 Much the same as the last one and the one before that. 304 00:22:05,437 --> 00:22:08,201 Why not finish the watercolor of the church? 305 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,572 - I didn't realize you'd seen that. - Mm. 306 00:22:12,477 --> 00:22:14,843 - Well? - Well what? 307 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,281 - The picture. What do you think? - It's good. 308 00:22:18,316 --> 00:22:20,546 Good good or just good? 309 00:22:20,585 --> 00:22:22,951 No, it's good. Stanley Spencer-ish. 310 00:22:24,122 --> 00:22:26,113 - Really? - Really. 311 00:22:26,158 --> 00:22:29,457 - Not just saying that? - It's the one thing I don't lie about. 312 00:22:34,733 --> 00:22:38,328 - Do you have to go? - Well, I've just heard the weather forecast. 313 00:22:38,370 --> 00:22:40,702 Sunny spells. It's going to be a good week. 314 00:22:44,309 --> 00:22:46,641 What's all this about? 315 00:22:46,678 --> 00:22:50,512 - Tell me. - I suddenly remembered how it used to be. 316 00:22:52,417 --> 00:22:54,408 Two years is a long time in politics. 317 00:22:54,453 --> 00:22:56,512 Crazy. I must have been out of my mind. 318 00:22:56,555 --> 00:22:59,888 - Why? - Women always think they can change men. 319 00:22:59,925 --> 00:23:01,916 Why don't we ever learn? 320 00:23:03,061 --> 00:23:05,325 There's been a lot of loving and leaving. 321 00:23:06,398 --> 00:23:08,389 You were the one that I didn't leave. 322 00:23:08,433 --> 00:23:11,891 - Cos I wouldn't let you. - I took you with me. 323 00:23:14,206 --> 00:23:16,333 Is that supposed to mean something? 324 00:23:17,108 --> 00:23:19,099 That's for you to decide. 325 00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:23,411 Ciao for now. 326 00:23:24,115 --> 00:23:26,106 Have you got your corn plasters? 327 00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:29,143 Ah... unworthy of you. 328 00:23:30,655 --> 00:23:32,748 I may not be here when you get back. 329 00:23:34,426 --> 00:23:37,327 - Who says I'm coming back? - You're a bastard. 330 00:23:38,497 --> 00:23:40,488 Through and through. 331 00:23:40,532 --> 00:23:43,365 - And a shit. - Never been any doubt. 332 00:23:49,808 --> 00:23:51,799 Shop! 333 00:23:51,843 --> 00:23:54,812 Oh, I didn't mean to wake you up, Tink. 334 00:23:56,748 --> 00:24:01,583 I can't make up my mind whether to cycle more or give it up entirely. 335 00:24:02,888 --> 00:24:06,949 - How did you get on? - I graduated. With honors. 336 00:24:06,992 --> 00:24:09,153 - That was quick. - They don't hang about. 337 00:24:09,194 --> 00:24:12,322 Landscapes, two to three, still lives, three to four, nudes four... 338 00:24:12,364 --> 00:24:14,423 - Nudes?! - You should have seen him. 339 00:24:14,466 --> 00:24:18,027 - Him? Yeuch! - Yeuch was right. 340 00:24:18,069 --> 00:24:20,970 - Now, what about Wilkes? - I met him. 341 00:24:21,006 --> 00:24:23,634 - You met him? - Face to face. 342 00:24:23,675 --> 00:24:26,508 - And what's he like? - The women drool. 343 00:24:26,545 --> 00:24:28,979 Ah... So I hear. 344 00:24:29,014 --> 00:24:31,209 Why don't you tell the Fuhrer where he is? 345 00:24:31,249 --> 00:24:36,312 No, no, no, Tink. Another day, another 200 dollars. 346 00:24:38,690 --> 00:24:42,421 How did you make out at the antique shop with Miss Jukes? 347 00:24:42,460 --> 00:24:43,950 I nearly didn't. 348 00:24:44,729 --> 00:24:46,720 Use it or lose it, Lovejoy. 349 00:24:46,765 --> 00:24:49,632 I had to produce one of those George Ills, you know. 350 00:24:49,668 --> 00:24:51,659 That I happen to have made last week. 351 00:24:51,703 --> 00:24:53,694 Very timely, Tink. Very timely. 352 00:24:55,707 --> 00:24:57,766 Oh, he's a con man, isn't he, Tink, eh? 353 00:24:57,809 --> 00:24:59,800 Pound to a penny. 354 00:24:59,844 --> 00:25:02,176 I mean, I found a bloke who's lost his wife. 355 00:25:02,213 --> 00:25:05,808 I found a wife who's lost or misplaced her husband. 356 00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:08,944 Leaves a trail of storm damage in his wake, does our Ashley. 357 00:25:08,987 --> 00:25:12,479 - Sounds like you. - I was just going to say that, Tink. 358 00:25:15,460 --> 00:25:17,792 - Give him a reminder. - He said he'd call. 359 00:25:17,829 --> 00:25:19,888 Call him. Tell him to get his finger out. 360 00:25:19,931 --> 00:25:22,331 - You think it'll help? - Just do it, Major. 361 00:25:30,542 --> 00:25:32,533 Time is of the essence, right? 362 00:25:34,946 --> 00:25:36,937 (Phone ringing) 363 00:25:40,318 --> 00:25:42,718 (Answerphone) This is Lovejoy Antiques. 364 00:25:42,754 --> 00:25:44,984 (Answerphone beeps) 365 00:25:45,023 --> 00:25:49,722 Lovejoy, Major Chatfield at 1500, on the 18th. 366 00:25:50,295 --> 00:25:52,889 No news, and in this case, that's not good. 367 00:25:52,931 --> 00:25:55,991 I'd appreciate a sit rep as soon as possible. 368 00:25:56,034 --> 00:26:00,664 Ring me at home or in the office, not later than 2200. Out. 369 00:26:02,974 --> 00:26:04,965 (Blows raspberry) 370 00:26:13,351 --> 00:26:15,342 (Car approaching) 371 00:26:31,736 --> 00:26:34,296 That's good. Very good. 372 00:26:34,339 --> 00:26:36,899 - The canvas or? - Both. 373 00:26:38,410 --> 00:26:41,140 - You must be Roz. - I am, but I must warn you, Mr... 374 00:26:41,179 --> 00:26:43,579 - Just Lovejoy. - I've had it from experts. 375 00:26:43,615 --> 00:26:47,244 I am immune to charm and flattery and cajolery. 376 00:26:47,285 --> 00:26:50,186 I can see I'm on the right trail. I'm looking for Ashley Wilkes. 377 00:26:50,221 --> 00:26:54,419 Oh, yes. Well, as far as this is concerned, he taught me all I know. 378 00:26:54,459 --> 00:26:58,225 - He's not the world's worst painter. - He could be great if only he'd concentrate. 379 00:26:58,263 --> 00:27:00,254 Well, it sells well enough. 380 00:27:00,298 --> 00:27:04,029 - You only hear about the successes. - Ah. 381 00:27:04,069 --> 00:27:06,060 Scores of them, you see? 382 00:27:06,104 --> 00:27:08,937 Norfolk cottages, Suffolk cottages. 383 00:27:08,973 --> 00:27:12,170 Essex cottages. Hundreds of the bloody things. 384 00:27:15,013 --> 00:27:17,641 - He, uh... He did this? - Yeah. 385 00:27:17,682 --> 00:27:19,673 - These? - Mm-hm. 386 00:27:22,987 --> 00:27:25,046 Why doesn't he ever finish anything? 387 00:27:25,090 --> 00:27:28,856 Because there's always another pretty face, pair of legs, tight little bottom. 388 00:27:28,893 --> 00:27:31,225 - This could get bitter. - All too easily. 389 00:27:31,262 --> 00:27:33,253 Do you know where he is now? 390 00:27:33,298 --> 00:27:37,462 Yes. Charming the pants off another unsuspecting sucker. 391 00:27:37,502 --> 00:27:39,732 Is that how you see yourself, a sucker? 392 00:27:39,771 --> 00:27:43,798 No, not really. We had some great times, lots of them. 393 00:27:44,642 --> 00:27:48,271 My life was pretty dull, you know, before I met him. Khaki. 394 00:27:49,247 --> 00:27:52,216 But now, never knowing where he is, who he's with... 395 00:27:53,351 --> 00:27:57,253 - Too exhausting. - These are really good, you know. 396 00:27:57,288 --> 00:28:00,689 - Tell him. He'd love to hear. - If I ever find him, I will. 397 00:28:00,725 --> 00:28:02,716 (Wilkes) So, what have I got here? 398 00:28:02,761 --> 00:28:06,128 This is Pilgrim's House. That's Mrs. Robinson's. 399 00:28:06,898 --> 00:28:08,889 A likely lass? 400 00:28:10,969 --> 00:28:12,960 What about that one? 401 00:28:13,004 --> 00:28:16,906 Oh, that's Arthur Ryland's place. He's a superintendent in the police. 402 00:28:16,941 --> 00:28:21,401 - Lives alone with a couple of Labradors. - No, I don't think so. What about that? 403 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,471 Oh, that's Plum Tree Cottage. 404 00:28:24,516 --> 00:28:26,950 Annabel Scott. You remember. 405 00:28:27,952 --> 00:28:30,420 She used to do the weather on the local telly. 406 00:28:31,122 --> 00:28:33,113 Ah, yes. 407 00:28:33,158 --> 00:28:35,149 Does she have an eye for art? 408 00:28:35,193 --> 00:28:38,185 Art, Tom, Dick, Harry... 409 00:28:38,229 --> 00:28:40,094 No Mr. Scott? 410 00:28:40,131 --> 00:28:42,998 No. He departed in one of the many squally showers. 411 00:28:43,034 --> 00:28:47,300 - So you'll want the room for the week? - Of course. What about that one? 412 00:28:47,939 --> 00:28:50,874 Ah, that's the Wilsons'. He's something in the city. 413 00:28:50,909 --> 00:28:53,810 You know, this art business, 414 00:28:53,845 --> 00:28:56,279 it's dead scientific, isn't it? 415 00:28:56,314 --> 00:28:59,841 Well, there's no percentage in wasting a lot of time and paint 416 00:28:59,884 --> 00:29:03,786 and then discovering the place is inhabited by Philistines. 417 00:29:03,822 --> 00:29:05,722 (♪ Retreat) 418 00:29:47,899 --> 00:29:49,890 - Hello. - Morning. 419 00:29:49,934 --> 00:29:51,925 - My name is Lo... - Lovejoy. 420 00:29:51,970 --> 00:29:54,768 - Yeah. - We've not met. 421 00:29:54,806 --> 00:29:57,070 You were pointed out to me. 422 00:29:57,108 --> 00:29:59,099 Across a crowded room? 423 00:29:59,143 --> 00:30:01,134 That sort of thing. 424 00:30:01,179 --> 00:30:03,170 Come in. 425 00:30:22,333 --> 00:30:24,324 Ashley Wilkes. 426 00:30:24,369 --> 00:30:27,031 - Yes. - You know him? 427 00:30:27,071 --> 00:30:29,904 We... met. 428 00:30:29,941 --> 00:30:33,069 - Two summers ago? - Two. 429 00:30:33,111 --> 00:30:35,705 You came home, or you spotted him, 430 00:30:35,747 --> 00:30:39,080 and there he was, busy, painting away. 431 00:30:39,884 --> 00:30:41,476 That's it exactly. 432 00:30:41,519 --> 00:30:44,249 - 200? - Less. 433 00:30:45,390 --> 00:30:47,984 I don't think I could raise 200 at the time. 434 00:30:48,026 --> 00:30:50,017 Why the interest? 435 00:30:50,828 --> 00:30:52,819 I want to find him. Urgently. 436 00:30:52,864 --> 00:30:55,731 I don't suppose you know his address or his telephone number. 437 00:30:55,767 --> 00:30:57,029 (Chuckling) 438 00:30:57,068 --> 00:30:59,059 Why are you laughing? 439 00:30:59,103 --> 00:31:03,836 Phone numbers and addresses are for the vox pop, like mortgages and gas bills. 440 00:31:03,875 --> 00:31:07,106 Ashley Wilkes was not like that. 441 00:31:07,145 --> 00:31:09,375 - - Not like that at all. - (Door opening) 442 00:31:09,414 --> 00:31:11,712 (Man) Darling? - In here. 443 00:31:14,953 --> 00:31:17,478 A long time since you called me darling, Alec. 444 00:31:17,522 --> 00:31:19,615 - What are you doing here? - We were chatting. 445 00:31:19,657 --> 00:31:21,648 Are you a friend of Harry's? 446 00:31:21,693 --> 00:31:23,684 No. 447 00:31:23,728 --> 00:31:25,719 What were you chatting about? 448 00:31:28,099 --> 00:31:30,090 What's that? 449 00:31:30,134 --> 00:31:33,262 - Ashley Wilkes. - The chappie you were asking me about? 450 00:31:33,304 --> 00:31:35,295 Very one. 451 00:31:37,675 --> 00:31:39,666 Well, it's not awfully good. 452 00:31:39,711 --> 00:31:43,807 - With respect. - At least you're consistent. 453 00:31:43,848 --> 00:31:46,248 What about the art school and farm, and all that? 454 00:31:47,618 --> 00:31:49,347 He's only there at weekends. 455 00:31:50,121 --> 00:31:52,749 Oh. Sorry about that. 456 00:31:52,790 --> 00:31:56,749 - Any suggestions? You have a lot of contacts. - (Alec) I'm too busy. 457 00:31:56,794 --> 00:32:00,753 - Don't tell me everyone's got one of these. - Practically everyone. 458 00:32:03,468 --> 00:32:06,596 He applies the double-glazing principle to painting. 459 00:32:06,637 --> 00:32:11,006 You know, "Our rep's in your area, masterpiece by teatime," etc, etc. 460 00:32:11,943 --> 00:32:14,468 - Was that how it happened? - Sort of. 461 00:32:27,358 --> 00:32:29,758 Afternoon. 462 00:32:29,794 --> 00:32:31,785 Hello. 463 00:32:31,829 --> 00:32:34,457 - Lovely day. - It's a beauty. 464 00:32:35,466 --> 00:32:38,196 So still you can hear the grass grow. 465 00:32:43,374 --> 00:32:45,365 What made you choose this cottage? 466 00:32:46,911 --> 00:32:48,902 It's the prettiest I've seen. 467 00:32:48,946 --> 00:32:50,937 Really? 468 00:32:50,982 --> 00:32:52,973 It's mine. 469 00:32:53,017 --> 00:32:55,008 Is it? 470 00:32:56,254 --> 00:32:58,245 - Do you object? - Of course not. 471 00:32:59,824 --> 00:33:02,019 It grieves me I can't do it more justice. 472 00:33:02,060 --> 00:33:04,051 Oh, I don't know. 473 00:33:04,095 --> 00:33:07,030 You're being too critical. I think it's pretty good. 474 00:33:08,132 --> 00:33:10,123 Damned good. 475 00:33:10,735 --> 00:33:12,930 An ill-favored thing, but mine own. 476 00:33:15,807 --> 00:33:17,798 Do you ever sell them? 477 00:33:18,609 --> 00:33:20,600 It's been known. 478 00:33:21,479 --> 00:33:24,209 Perhaps when it's finished, you'll show it to me. 479 00:33:24,248 --> 00:33:26,239 My pleasure. 480 00:33:30,721 --> 00:33:33,417 I'm just going to make some tea. Would you like a cup? 481 00:33:34,459 --> 00:33:36,450 I'd love one. 482 00:33:43,601 --> 00:33:45,592 Lovejoy! 483 00:33:46,804 --> 00:33:49,773 Took you longer than I expected. Two minutes longer. 484 00:33:49,807 --> 00:33:53,368 - It's most embarrassing. - Well, I'm not embarrassed. 485 00:33:53,411 --> 00:33:55,402 I am. 486 00:33:55,446 --> 00:33:57,437 Deborah... 487 00:33:58,182 --> 00:34:01,242 - Debbie, my friend... - Oh, as in just good. 488 00:34:01,285 --> 00:34:03,981 - Don't make this more awkward. - I'm sorry. 489 00:34:04,021 --> 00:34:07,388 - I'm sure I don't need to spell this out to you. - You don't? 490 00:34:07,425 --> 00:34:10,360 - You know what I'm talking about. - I haven't a clue. 491 00:34:10,394 --> 00:34:12,794 For God's sake, man. She's still married. 492 00:34:12,830 --> 00:34:15,924 Oh, Harry! Lovely fella! 493 00:34:17,168 --> 00:34:20,968 - You said you didn't know him. - No, no, no, no. He's one of my best mates. 494 00:34:21,005 --> 00:34:23,701 Oh, God! 495 00:34:23,741 --> 00:34:27,336 - But don't worry, I wouldn't fink on you. - You wouldn't? 496 00:34:27,378 --> 00:34:29,676 No! He's got this terrible temper. 497 00:34:29,714 --> 00:34:32,376 Have you seen that trick he does with the poker? 498 00:34:33,718 --> 00:34:37,814 - Poker? - Yeah, but there'll be a price for my silence. 499 00:34:37,855 --> 00:34:41,313 - Ashley Wilkes? - You're not too busy, are you? 500 00:34:42,059 --> 00:34:44,050 I'll find the bastard. 501 00:34:48,132 --> 00:34:50,123 - (Knock at the door) - Come. 502 00:34:57,441 --> 00:35:00,706 - Time's winged chariot, Major. - I'm doing the best I can. 503 00:35:00,745 --> 00:35:04,545 - We said by the end of today. - For God's sake, man! It's been two years! 504 00:35:05,783 --> 00:35:08,081 Important names are involved. 505 00:35:09,086 --> 00:35:12,886 - A household name. - You told me. 506 00:35:12,924 --> 00:35:14,915 Twist Lovejoy's tail. 507 00:35:14,959 --> 00:35:16,950 Or we'll cut it off. 508 00:35:18,196 --> 00:35:20,027 It's around here somewhere, Tink. 509 00:35:20,064 --> 00:35:21,895 (Phone ringing) 510 00:35:22,867 --> 00:35:24,858 Don't! 511 00:35:27,371 --> 00:35:30,067 (Answerphone) This is Lovejoy Antiques. 512 00:35:30,107 --> 00:35:31,768 (Answerphone beeps) 513 00:35:31,809 --> 00:35:36,678 Hello. Lovejoy, it's Statham, about your friend, Ashley bloody Wilkes. 514 00:35:36,714 --> 00:35:39,774 - Sorry. I was just seeing off a client. - 0h. 515 00:35:39,817 --> 00:35:42,615 - I've got a lead. - Wonderfull 516 00:35:42,653 --> 00:35:44,644 An auctioneer in Ipswich, an art buff, 517 00:35:44,689 --> 00:35:48,147 says there's a Wilkes living above a pub near Basildon. 518 00:35:48,192 --> 00:35:52,822 - The same Wilkes? - I think so. The pub's called The Dun Cow. 519 00:35:52,863 --> 00:35:55,696 - I don't know if he's there now. - Right, leave it with me. 520 00:35:55,733 --> 00:35:58,759 - Uh... Lovejoy, are you still there? - Yeah. 521 00:35:59,770 --> 00:36:04,036 I've checked with Debbie. She says you don't know Harry. 522 00:36:04,075 --> 00:36:08,011 - Harry? - Her husband Harry. 523 00:36:08,045 --> 00:36:10,605 And they don't even own a poker. 524 00:36:33,904 --> 00:36:35,895 - Ashley Wilkes? - Yeah. 525 00:36:35,940 --> 00:36:37,931 Lovejoy. Antiques. 526 00:36:38,976 --> 00:36:43,003 - Well, I'm not as young as I used to be, but... - You do just fine. 527 00:36:43,047 --> 00:36:45,038 - Oh, no sense complaining. - May I? 528 00:36:45,082 --> 00:36:47,073 Yes, yes. 529 00:36:49,287 --> 00:36:52,484 - You're a hard man to find. - Looking in the wrong places. 530 00:36:52,523 --> 00:36:54,957 Well, Joanna didn't know where to find you. 531 00:36:54,992 --> 00:36:56,983 Annie didn't, 532 00:36:57,028 --> 00:37:00,088 nor Deborah, not even Roz. 533 00:37:01,098 --> 00:37:04,295 Uh... my two weaknesses, painting and, uh... 534 00:37:05,836 --> 00:37:07,997 Business and pleasure. You know what they say. 535 00:37:08,039 --> 00:37:10,337 Oh, they're meant to be mixed. Freud says so. 536 00:37:10,374 --> 00:37:13,935 Work and love, it's what makes the world bubble. 537 00:37:15,479 --> 00:37:17,470 I've got a theory about you. 538 00:37:17,515 --> 00:37:19,506 Oh, yes? 539 00:37:20,718 --> 00:37:23,881 These cottage paintings, these two-hour jobs, 540 00:37:23,921 --> 00:37:26,685 they're a blind to hide something. 541 00:37:26,724 --> 00:37:28,055 Like what? 542 00:37:28,092 --> 00:37:33,530 That you don't want to devote real time to real pictures like those abstracts in the barn. 543 00:37:35,866 --> 00:37:39,563 Hm... I haven't tried that style in years. 544 00:37:39,603 --> 00:37:41,594 You scared of failure? 545 00:37:42,473 --> 00:37:44,464 Not of theory. 546 00:37:44,508 --> 00:37:49,502 If you concentrated on that style instead of those pot boilers, who knows? 547 00:37:51,082 --> 00:37:53,073 I'd be proud to represent you. 548 00:37:54,685 --> 00:37:57,176 - Is that why you're looking for me? - Partly. 549 00:37:58,856 --> 00:38:00,847 Someone wants to find you. 550 00:38:00,891 --> 00:38:02,882 A major in the army. 551 00:38:03,861 --> 00:38:06,955 - Men's army? - Men's army. 552 00:38:06,997 --> 00:38:09,022 Says he promised you a commission. 553 00:38:09,066 --> 00:38:11,057 In the army? 554 00:38:11,102 --> 00:38:13,935 To paint a mural at the officers' mess. 555 00:38:18,175 --> 00:38:20,166 I wouldn't forget that. 556 00:38:20,211 --> 00:38:22,202 Will you meet him? 557 00:38:22,246 --> 00:38:24,271 I can call him. This will only take an hour. 558 00:38:25,983 --> 00:38:28,781 Well, why not? Looks like rain. 559 00:38:28,819 --> 00:38:32,311 Yeah. Rain stops play. 560 00:38:48,172 --> 00:38:51,505 What's the secret of your success? 561 00:38:55,079 --> 00:38:57,070 Three little letters. 562 00:38:58,048 --> 00:39:00,039 H.R.T. 563 00:39:00,084 --> 00:39:03,520 - What? - Hormone replacement therapy. 564 00:39:04,889 --> 00:39:06,880 I know what it means. 565 00:39:06,924 --> 00:39:09,950 It's no exaggeration to say it's, uh... 566 00:39:11,562 --> 00:39:14,656 ...it's changed my life, revolutionized it. 567 00:39:14,698 --> 00:39:18,225 - It's supposed to change women's lives. - Oh, it does. It does. 568 00:39:19,403 --> 00:39:22,372 Sauce for the goose, and the gander. 569 00:39:24,608 --> 00:39:26,599 You care to explain that? 570 00:39:28,479 --> 00:39:30,879 - Strictly between us, though. - Ashley. 571 00:39:32,817 --> 00:39:35,809 Well, thanks to hormone replacement, 572 00:39:35,853 --> 00:39:39,152 there's a whole generation of 573 00:39:39,190 --> 00:39:44,025 beautiful, mature, experienced 574 00:39:44,061 --> 00:39:48,589 sophisticated, wealthy women, 575 00:39:48,632 --> 00:39:52,625 all reveling in their new-found sexuality. 576 00:39:54,839 --> 00:39:56,830 Most of them are neglected. 577 00:39:56,874 --> 00:40:03,109 Their husbands are off, trying to pull the pants off some feather-brained temp 578 00:40:03,147 --> 00:40:05,638 while they have 579 00:40:05,683 --> 00:40:08,516 permanent ravers of their own at home, 580 00:40:08,552 --> 00:40:11,282 waiting, 581 00:40:11,322 --> 00:40:13,313 motors revving. 582 00:40:14,825 --> 00:40:18,420 All that sexual energy with nowhere to go. 583 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,391 You're almost a social worker. 584 00:40:38,315 --> 00:40:41,648 - Ashley Wilkes, this is Major... - I think we all know who we are. 585 00:40:41,685 --> 00:40:44,210 I should have brought a horse whip or a pistol! 586 00:40:44,255 --> 00:40:49,158 Uh... Lovejoy said you wanted to commission me for a mural. 587 00:40:49,193 --> 00:40:51,184 Where is she? 588 00:40:51,695 --> 00:40:53,686 - Who? - You know. 589 00:40:55,399 --> 00:40:59,563 - Major, on my honor... - You don't even know what that word means. 590 00:40:59,603 --> 00:41:02,470 - I haven't a clue. - Roz. 591 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,431 Roz? 592 00:41:06,410 --> 00:41:08,401 - Roz. - Yes. 593 00:41:09,313 --> 00:41:11,975 Roz. Uh... 594 00:41:12,016 --> 00:41:14,007 I'm sorry, I didn't realize. 595 00:41:14,051 --> 00:41:16,781 Ah. The penny's dropped. 596 00:41:16,820 --> 00:41:18,811 Are there so many? 597 00:41:19,523 --> 00:41:24,426 This bargain-basement Lothario did a painting of our cottage. 598 00:41:24,461 --> 00:41:28,261 Not only did he take me for £200, he also took my wife. 599 00:41:28,299 --> 00:41:31,564 - Roz left because she was bored. - Nonsense. How could she be bored? 600 00:41:31,602 --> 00:41:34,196 She was always on the move, always somewhere different. 601 00:41:34,238 --> 00:41:36,866 14 moves in what was it, 17 years? 602 00:41:36,907 --> 00:41:39,467 Pickford's saw more of her furniture than she did. 603 00:41:39,510 --> 00:41:41,978 - (Major) I'm a soldier. Soldiers move. - She wasn't a soldier. 604 00:41:42,012 --> 00:41:44,480 (Major) She knew what to expect. Her father was a soldier. 605 00:41:44,515 --> 00:41:46,506 Moving is an occupational hazard. 606 00:41:46,550 --> 00:41:49,144 Well, she's moved out, and that's a hazard. 607 00:41:49,186 --> 00:41:51,677 What a non-life... 608 00:41:51,722 --> 00:41:54,316 being snotty to juniors, crawling to seniors, 609 00:41:54,358 --> 00:41:59,159 even losing a ping-pong tournament because you were playing the colonel and his wife. 610 00:41:59,196 --> 00:42:01,926 Ah, no, no, no, not his wife, his lady. 611 00:42:01,966 --> 00:42:06,096 Did you know that, Lovejoy? Officers don't have wives. They have ladies. 612 00:42:06,136 --> 00:42:09,071 NCOs have wives. Other ranks have women. 613 00:42:09,106 --> 00:42:13,406 - I want her back. - Next time I see her, I'll tell her. 614 00:42:13,444 --> 00:42:15,105 We don't live together anymore. 615 00:42:15,145 --> 00:42:18,273 Give me a number, somewhere where I can talk to her. 616 00:42:18,315 --> 00:42:19,805 No. 617 00:42:19,850 --> 00:42:22,648 I'll tell her to call you, if she wants. 618 00:42:24,822 --> 00:42:28,986 If I haven't spoken to her by tonight, I shall come looking, fully armed. 619 00:42:29,026 --> 00:42:32,928 That's not a threat. It's a statement of intent. 620 00:42:35,532 --> 00:42:37,523 You still owe me 200 quid. 621 00:42:37,568 --> 00:42:39,536 When you deliver Roz. 622 00:42:53,183 --> 00:42:56,277 - I knew I'd never like the army. - Yeah, me too. 623 00:42:58,656 --> 00:43:01,716 - So, that's why you were looking for me? - Apparently. 624 00:43:02,926 --> 00:43:05,394 She'll never go back to him, will she? 625 00:43:05,429 --> 00:43:07,420 Nah. I doubt it. 626 00:43:08,265 --> 00:43:10,256 Like I doubt you'll get your 200. 627 00:43:11,568 --> 00:43:13,559 I wouldn't be too sure about that. 628 00:43:15,439 --> 00:43:18,340 Come on. Drive you back. 629 00:43:27,384 --> 00:43:29,648 - You all right, Tink? - Hello, sweetie. 630 00:43:35,059 --> 00:43:37,186 Do you ever go to the cinema, Lovejoy? 631 00:43:38,228 --> 00:43:40,890 - What? - Do you ever go to the cinema? 632 00:43:41,965 --> 00:43:46,095 Yeah, about 7.9 times per annum on average. 633 00:43:46,637 --> 00:43:48,628 You ever see Gone With The Wind? 634 00:43:48,672 --> 00:43:50,731 Everybody's seen Gone With The Wind. 635 00:43:51,275 --> 00:43:54,711 - Well, at least part of it anyway. - But you fall asleep? 636 00:43:54,745 --> 00:43:59,045 Always, and always in the same bloody place. 637 00:43:59,083 --> 00:44:02,211 Now, I'm in great shape up until the burning of Atlanta, 638 00:44:02,252 --> 00:44:06,746 and then the old minces start to close when Scarlett returns to Tara. 639 00:44:07,524 --> 00:44:11,984 (Southern accent) "With God's help, I'll never be hungry again." 640 00:44:13,263 --> 00:44:15,458 Could be you talking from then on, Tink. 641 00:44:16,533 --> 00:44:20,970 What character does Leslie Howard play in Gone With The Wind? 642 00:44:21,004 --> 00:44:22,995 How the hell do I know? 643 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,031 Leslie Howard plays... 644 00:44:25,075 --> 00:44:27,600 (Both) Ashley Wilkes. 645 00:44:27,644 --> 00:44:29,635 Even his name's a lie! 646 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:31,773 Oh, you shall go to the ball, Tink. 647 00:44:32,783 --> 00:44:36,048 ♪ Ya tie ta-tum 648 00:44:36,086 --> 00:44:39,283 (Both) ♪ Ya tie ta-tum 649 00:44:39,323 --> 00:44:40,312 All together now... 650 00:44:40,357 --> 00:44:44,555 (Both hum Tara's Theme from Gone With The Wind) 651 00:44:44,595 --> 00:44:48,861 ♪ Ta-tie ta-tum ♪ 652 00:45:07,684 --> 00:45:09,675 - Mr. Lovejoy. - Isn't he in? 653 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:12,951 - May we have a word? - Inland Revenue? 654 00:45:12,990 --> 00:45:14,981 No. 655 00:45:17,928 --> 00:45:19,919 - You'd better come in. - Thank you. 656 00:45:21,698 --> 00:45:24,258 OK, CID? 657 00:45:24,301 --> 00:45:26,428 Ml5? Ml6? CIA? FBI? 658 00:45:26,470 --> 00:45:28,631 Come on, come on. I'm running out of alphabet. 659 00:45:28,672 --> 00:45:31,766 Take your pick. We'd like you to do something for us, Lovejoy. 660 00:45:31,809 --> 00:45:32,867 - Would you? - Yes. 661 00:45:34,077 --> 00:45:38,138 What's in it for me? I don't work for God, Queen or country, only for cash. 662 00:45:38,182 --> 00:45:41,015 - Tell him what's in it for him. - Continued good health. 663 00:45:41,051 --> 00:45:43,986 Oh, I knew it would be one of those smartass answers. 664 00:45:44,021 --> 00:45:47,957 A vasectomy means never having to say sorry. 665 00:45:49,059 --> 00:45:51,050 I'm sorry. 666 00:45:51,094 --> 00:45:53,085 We want to talk to Roz Chatfield. 667 00:45:53,130 --> 00:45:56,065 - What's stopping you? - Yu know where she is. We don't. 668 00:45:56,099 --> 00:45:58,158 Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you. 669 00:45:58,202 --> 00:46:00,568 - You could persuade her. - Why should I? 670 00:46:00,604 --> 00:46:04,267 You've got previous, my son. I believe you have a record. 671 00:46:05,943 --> 00:46:11,074 I don't suppose it would do any good saying I was framed, would it? 672 00:46:11,114 --> 00:46:13,105 No. 673 00:46:14,017 --> 00:46:16,952 They reckon prison pallor never leaves the skin. 674 00:46:16,987 --> 00:46:20,252 You've done well. Second time, it's not so easy. 675 00:46:22,426 --> 00:46:24,417 I could grow to like you. 676 00:46:25,596 --> 00:46:27,996 You do what we say, fine. 677 00:46:28,031 --> 00:46:31,694 If you don't, we'll have you in and out of Brixton like a bread van. 678 00:46:33,103 --> 00:46:36,072 Stop threatening me. I scare easily. 679 00:46:37,074 --> 00:46:39,941 Get her to the barracks first thing tomorrow. Yes? 680 00:46:46,550 --> 00:46:47,278 By the right. 681 00:46:50,921 --> 00:46:52,912 Right. Wheel. 682 00:47:18,615 --> 00:47:19,604 Yes. 683 00:47:46,243 --> 00:47:48,234 Will you take me home? 684 00:47:48,278 --> 00:47:50,269 Sure. 685 00:47:58,488 --> 00:48:00,479 So, what was it all about? 686 00:48:00,991 --> 00:48:03,459 My father was a brigadier, and after he died, 687 00:48:03,493 --> 00:48:07,691 they discovered he'd removed some documents from the Ministry of Defence. 688 00:48:07,731 --> 00:48:09,722 What sort of documents? 689 00:48:09,766 --> 00:48:11,757 I can't tell you that, I'm afraid. 690 00:48:11,802 --> 00:48:13,793 Official secrets. 691 00:48:13,837 --> 00:48:15,828 OK. 692 00:48:17,074 --> 00:48:19,065 Oh, well... 693 00:48:19,109 --> 00:48:22,567 My father was a young officer in Malaya during the emergency, 694 00:48:22,612 --> 00:48:25,945 you know, during the '50s? 695 00:48:25,983 --> 00:48:29,976 And uh... there was this little village, Batang Kali, 696 00:48:30,020 --> 00:48:33,979 and the patrol from his regiment took some prisoners, 697 00:48:34,024 --> 00:48:36,754 workers on a rubber plantation, 698 00:48:36,793 --> 00:48:40,024 25 Chinese men and women. 699 00:48:40,063 --> 00:48:41,223 So? 700 00:48:41,264 --> 00:48:44,324 Well, apparently, the next day, they tried to escape. 701 00:48:44,368 --> 00:48:46,359 They were all shot. 702 00:48:46,403 --> 00:48:48,598 - All of them. - All 25. 703 00:48:49,606 --> 00:48:51,597 Dead? 704 00:48:51,641 --> 00:48:53,632 - None wounded? - Not one. 705 00:48:55,979 --> 00:48:59,073 One other officer who was out there with him is now... 706 00:48:59,116 --> 00:49:02,552 well, let's just say a prominent citizen. 707 00:49:02,586 --> 00:49:05,987 Ah, so they don't want those documents turning up where they shouldn't, 708 00:49:06,023 --> 00:49:08,014 like in the tabloids? 709 00:49:08,058 --> 00:49:10,049 That's right. 710 00:49:10,994 --> 00:49:12,985 So, where are they now? 711 00:49:13,030 --> 00:49:15,999 Um... Andrew... Major Chatfield burnt them. 712 00:49:16,033 --> 00:49:18,024 - Burnt them? - Yes. 713 00:49:18,068 --> 00:49:20,798 When he found out about Wilkes, he burnt everything of mine, 714 00:49:20,837 --> 00:49:22,828 clothes, make-up, paint... 715 00:49:22,873 --> 00:49:25,535 He even burnt my rowing machine. 716 00:49:25,575 --> 00:49:27,566 (Gears grinding) 717 00:49:27,611 --> 00:49:30,603 - You need a new gearbox. - Someone just bought me one. 718 00:49:30,647 --> 00:49:32,638 - Who? - You. 719 00:49:40,657 --> 00:49:42,648 Most kind. Thank you. 720 00:49:42,692 --> 00:49:44,683 Close, isn't it? 721 00:49:44,728 --> 00:49:47,219 Yes. Very still. 722 00:49:49,933 --> 00:49:51,924 High temperature and humidity. 723 00:49:51,968 --> 00:49:54,903 There's a ridge of high pressure over the North Sea. 724 00:49:57,340 --> 00:49:59,331 - May I? - Yes. Help yourself. 725 00:50:01,111 --> 00:50:03,944 Oh, but that's good. That's really good. 726 00:50:05,348 --> 00:50:07,339 A poor thing, but mine own. 727 00:50:25,936 --> 00:50:27,961 Tink, you, uh? 728 00:50:28,004 --> 00:50:33,135 No, no. If she likes it, I get free booze for the whole summer. 729 00:50:36,813 --> 00:50:39,145 An ill-favored thing, sir, but mine own. 730 00:50:39,195 --> 00:50:43,745 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 56344

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