All language subtitles for Letterkenny s04e05 The Letterkenny Leave.eng

You got invited
to a party the other day...

The McMurrays have invited us
over for a BBQ this afternoon.

That'll be a soft pass for me.

Just a soft pass?

A super...soft pass.
Well, why is that?

You got something else
on the go, big shooter?

Well, ah, you know,
it's just Saturday.

Rosie scooch on over.

Watch a little TV.
Bob's your uncle.

Do I have to remind you

that you are in a long-term
relationship.

And...?
And as such you are obliged to partakes in some socials

stimulations from times to time,

lest the young lady
becomes rastless.

Rastless?
Rastless.

Well, if it ain't broke,
don't fix it, bud.

Sure. But you can't just

watch TV and have sex
every night, Wayne.

Sometimes Netflix and chill
just ain't enough.

A young lady deserves more

than just Amazon Primes
and sexy times.

YouTube and lube
isn't gonna cut it.

You can't just stream it
and cream it, bud.

There's more to life

than a little Hulu and
you-screw, big brother.

Gotta step out
of your comfort zone.

There's not a goddamn thing
wrong with

a little Playstation
Vue and I service you.

Not a goddamn thing.

A little Project Free TV
and you service me.

A little Pirate Bay
with some sexual spray.

A couple of torrent sites
minus the bed lights.

What about a little satellite
and an overnight?

A little satellite
and tickle fight.

Invite a friend over
for Direct TV

and a menage a three.

Yeah, there's more to life

than a li'l HBO and a go,
big brother.

You gotta step out
of your comfort zone.

Wanna know what? I don't know
who called it the comfort zone,

but I'm pretty sure
they called it that

'cause everything inside
that zone's good and comfy.

So once you get outside
of that zone, fuck...

Well, that's when things
can get a bit dicey.

(UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISTLING)

Oh! Ooh.
Welcome to Chez McMurray.

MR. MCMURRAY: Oh, ho.

Or, Fort McMurray.

(LAUGHING)

Here you go, babe.

Whatever you're into
that's what I always say.

ALL: McMurray!
MCMURRAY: Wayne, how're you now?

WAYNE: How'r you... Oh good.
MCMURRAY: Not s'bad.

WAYNE: I'm not s'...
MCMURRAY: I'm good.

Just go!
Where... where is your better half, Wayne?

Reading a book.

All right. Well,

everybody make yourself
at home.

We got cold beer
and frozen marg mix.

Oh, yeah. You got blueberry,
avocado passion fruit margs?

We got agave prickly pear
marg mix.

Mhh hmm. Colada mix, too.

You got kiwi fruit cucumber
jalapeno pina colada?

We got charred orange
ruby red grapefruit

pomegranate pina coladas.

Even got daiquiri mix, too.

Oh, you got

whole citrus hungry gal
magic low cal daiquiris?

We got smoky watermelon
michelada

aqua velva
aqua fresca super, super

duper, super sipper Daiquiris.
Good enough.

Whatever you're into
is what I always say.

That's right.

Plus, we got a shit ton of super
fun shit planned for today.

Oh, boy.
All kinds.

Just went down and got myself

a brand spankin' new karaoke
machine down at the swap meet.

Oh, boy.
It's only got the Chinese songs, but it works just fine.

All right, lemme run down
the house rules.

Rule number one:
You must have fun.

That's it.
That's the only fuckin' rule.

That's easy to remembers then.

I hope everybody remembered
to bring their swim trunks.

GLEN: Come on down, folks.
Don't be shy.

The jets are powerful and
the water is warm.

Plenty room for everybody.

Amen. Oops. Oh, no. I went ahead
and dropped an olive.

Oh!
Oh, ooh...

There it is.
Oh.

I feel it.

Sure do...

Thank you, Gail.

I forgot my swim trunks, so...

You forgot to bring a set?
Didn't bring a set.

You didn't bring a set?
Didn't bring a set.

You didn't bring a set?
I didn't brings no sets.

You, even you didn't bring
a set? I didn't bring a set.

Don't worry.

We got a whole bunch of extra
swim trunks in the closet.

So no fuckin' excuses, okay?

I'd hammer a cock suckin' gin
and tonic, that's all I know.

Who wants to jump in the tub,

or... can I offer somebody
some fruit?

Or maybe an oyster?

Where is Wayne?
Out having a dart, likely.

Hm.
MCMURRAY: Thought Wayne would love a good tub?

Who wouldn't love a good tub?

Well, he does.

He just says that if you spend
too much time in the water,

you end up looking like
a golden raisin.

I think I just brushed up

against a couple
of golden raisins.

Gail, oh, my. Scandal.
Hmmm.

Would anyone care
to play a game?

Has anybody ever played
Never have I ever?

Nevers.
Never?

Never ever.
Not even once.

It is a dandy little
drinking game

we picked
up down 'Minican.

We go down 'Minican
twice a year, that's all I know.

Still don't get down
'Minican enough, baby,

that's true.

Was down 'Pulco pertnear
every winter 'til fellas started

gettin' hanging from bridges
with their dinks cut off.

Crying shame

because Sinatra used to have
a place down 'Pulco.

You know, JFK and Jackie O

had their goddamn honeymoon
down 'Pulco.

But we picked up Never Have
I Ever down in 'Minican.

K.
So, how it works is this.

You say, "Never have I ever"

done such and such a titillating
and or embarrassing act

and if you've done it,
you drink it. Get it?

Got it.
I'll start.

Fire away, baby.
And make it randy.

Oh, yeah.

(SQUEALS)

Uh, let's see, never have
I ever

made whoopee with
more than one person at a time.

We're going from zero
to sixty I take it.

MCMURRAY: Uh hm. Oh.

Your turn, baby.
All right.

Never have I ever felt
strong sexual urges

towards another spouse,
significant other or sibling.

That's very specific.

Hey, Wayne, how's your beer?

WAYNE: I'd have a beer.
MCMURRAY: Katy, don't...

Can you can bring me over
one of them cocksuckers,

that's what I always say.

Buddy,
I think we plateaued.

What are
you talking about, buddy?

Like I'm not seein'
any gains, bro.

I've been free posing
in front of the mirror at home.

Maybe it's time we did
a full circuit together, ferda. Ferda.

(SQUEALING)

BOTH: Pose def...

I think you're right, buddy.

Yeah, I haven't seen
any gains all year, bro.

We gotta make some serious
gains for next season, ferda.

Capital gains, buddy.

Coach has already texted sayin'
how are the gains going, boys.

Saying what?

Saying, how are
the gains going, boys.

Can't let coach down,
buddy.

(SCOFFS) Not an option, bro.

He'll send something flying.

Scares the shit out of me,
sometimes.

Our gains have to eclipse
general team gains, buddy.

You wanna be the guy to walk
into the room

and none of
the boys see gains?

If gains fall in the forest
and no one's around

to see it, nobody really
sees any gains.

If you don't see gains,
what do you see?

BOTH: Excuses.
We can't be those guys, buddy.

No excuses, buddy.
Clock's ticking, bro.

Not a lot of time
for gains, bro.

Charlotte Gains, bro.
No.

We need a surge of gains, bro.

Canseco, buddy.

Sammy Sosa, buddy.

At what cost, Buddy?

What's the cost of juice, buddy?

Maybe rip a quick half cycle.

Maybe we just dig deep.
Bare down.

Or...

Roger Clemens, buddy.

Hey!
What?

All-Star pitcher, buddy.
Tarnished reputation, buddy.

Hey!
What?

Starting pitcher for the
Toronto Blue Jays, buddy.

Just a half cycle?

Just a quick half cycle.
Push through the plateau,

kick start the muscle fibers,

go cold turkey before
the season starts, buddy.

Cold turkey?
Cold turkey.

Au naturale.
Au naturale.

Naturale.
Au naturale.

Ferda.
Ferda.

Yeah, but wait!

Where do we get the juice from,
ferda?

Oh, I think I know
just the place, buddy.

Tanis? How'r...

...now?

So where's this party at?
Basement.

Don't see your swim trunks.
Didn't bring a set? No, I didn't bring a set.

Well, inside they'll likely
have a set. Didn't know I'd need that set.

They'll get you a set.

You know what the McMurrays
are up to, right?

I have an inkling.

And you don't mind leaving
your girl down there with them?

She didn't make the trek.
(CHUCKLES)

Reading?
Can't confirm.

Doesn't that make you think
she up to something?

Makes me think
it's a pretty good book.

Must be like...

Carrie?

Well, when the cat's away
the mice will play. Hmm?

The rats too, apparently.

You're dirty, huh.

All right,

I'm gonna go home.
I just came here for you, boo.

You know we have a really
big library on the Rez too,

if you're
into nerdy girls,

I can show you my spine label,
you can show me your hard cover.

On a...

KATY: How's your beer,
big brother?

I'd have a beer.

So, tell me,

how do you boys feel
about havin' adventures?

Well, I'm not against
havin' adventures.

Then how do you feel
about trying new things?

Well, like I always say,

varieties is
the spices of life.

Mrs. McMurray and I
couldn't agree more.

That's all I know.

In fact, the more you get
to know us both,

the more you realize that
we're very broad-minded.

That's what I always say.

Well, the other day,

I tried cinnamon chewing gum
for the first time.

Huh.
Well, it was a little bit spicy for my taste,

I can't say
that I didn't like it.

Gotta love those spicy
little cocksuckers, uh?

Okay.

Katy, how's your beer?

KATY: I'd love a beer.

Oh, huh.

Ah, I lost another one.
Whoopsie daisy.

Slippery little buggers.

Oh! She's in the neighborhood.

Maybe it's time
to get going.

Agreed.
How do we do that?

Guess what?
DARYL AND KATY: What?

This may very well call for
the Irish Goodbye.

What's the Irish Goodbye?

Well, that's when you leave
without saying bye to anyone.

Also known as the French Exit
or Houdini.

Thought the French Exit
was when you climax on a gal,

and you leave without
cleaning it up.

It's almost not worth
thinking about, Dary.

Technically, a French Exit

is when you leave without
paying the bill.

But in this case,
that is not applicable.

Guess what?
BOTH: What?

This may very well call
for the Turkish Takeoff.

What's a Turkish Takeoff?

That's when you pull a fire
alarm and leave with a stranger.

Guess what?
BOTH: What?

This very well may call
for the old Tokyo Sayonara.

What's Tokyo Sayonara?

Well, that's when you leave
and only say goodbye to the cat.

Maybe this calls for...

No!
BOTH: What?

Maybe this calls for
the Letterkenny Leave.

No!
Letterkenny Leave?

That's when you steal
a two-four

and walk through
a sliding glass door.

Well, desperate times.

Desperate measures.

I don't think we're there
just yet. But, why not,

let's continue to monitor
the situation.

Time for more mix.

I'll get the colada mix,
baby.

Dart?
I'd have a dart.

Squirrely Dan.
Waynes.

Has it occurred to you
that those two

may be members of...

Of the Lifestyle?

Like the agricultural
management lifestyle?

Sure they are.
No, Dan.

The Lifestyle.

Like the livestocks management
lifestyle. Of course they are.

No, Daniel.

The Lifestyle.

Oh, dairy farming lifestyle.

You guys know they are.

(YELLS) Squirrely Dan!
Uh-hmm?

Uh, the Lifestyle?

No, I'm not too sure

what you're driving at here,
big shooter.

All righty.

Who wants to play
Pass the Banana?

Well, well, well,
my chemical bromance.

Bro Thornton
and Bro Jonas.

We're in the market for some
banned substances, buddy.

Oh, and you've come
to us.

How flattering.
We've got substances.

And guess what?

Newsflash, Bill "the thrill"
O'Reilly... they're all banned.

So what will it be,
Geoff and Rus Courtnall...

You know what a nose beer is?
Booger sugar.

...tini.
The cola.

BOTH: No.
No.

Then what will it be,
Wayne and Keith Primeau?

You into sextaxcy?

Rollsy pollsy's?
The beans?

The disco biscuits?

BOTH: No.
Do not tell me

you've come here
looking for pot.

No, no, we're looking for
some, uh... Juice.

Huh?
Sauce.

Huh?
Gear.

BOTH: Steroids.
Ah!

A-bombs.
Anti-hero.

Gym candy. Why didn't you
say so?

JONESY: What the fuck? Jesus.

Edibles. You're welcome.
So, you wish to

improve upon that form
God gave you.

Just a half-cycle, buddy.
Ah, sweet hubris.

Oh, what's that?
Excessive pride,

or self confidence.

Arrogance. Pomposity.
Egotism.

One does not simply hop
on or of the Anabolia Express.

No.

You ride that juice train all
the way to the end of the line.

Choo-choo.

No, we're just trying
to push through a plateau, so...

Need more Charlotte Gains, bro.

Just a quick Serge
of Gains, bro.

Before the season starts,
going cold turkey.

Yeah, au naturale.
Yeah.

(LAUGHING)

Famous last words,
gentlemen

Have you discussed
side effects?

What side effects?

Oh, just a little dilemma
known as severe back acne.

Bacne?
It's fine.

And a little complication,
acute testicular shrinkage.

Testicle shrinkage?

Nobody's testicles
are going to shrinkage, buddy.

Of course that

can of worms known
as 'roid rage.

That actually
happens, buddy.

Almost to everyone, buddy.

Pay the man.
I mean, maybe we should just, you know...

Dig deep, you know.
Bare down.

I mean, side effects, buddy.

But you guys should be good.
Yeah, we should be good.

Should be good.
Yeah? We should be good?

I wouldn't worry.
No.

No, it should be good.
For sure?

If you want my honest opinion,
you should be good.

'Cause if like you say
we're good... You're good.

Yeah?
You should be good.

Wheel, snipe,
celly boys.

Yeah, dirty fuckin'
dangles, boys.

(YELLS) Pay the man.

Did I ever tell you
about my friend, Juan-Jorge?

No, I don't believes
you haves.

Well, Juan-Jorge is one of our
closest and dearest friends.

We met him
and his wife down 'Minican.

Mm-hm.

Juan-Jorge is a birdwatcher.

Or a "birder" as they prefer
to be called, these days.

Hmm.
Anyway, one day

in a hot tub, not unlike
this one,

Juan-Jorge told first
me about the common cuckoo bird.

The cuckoo bird
has a peculiar habit

of laying its eggs
in another bird's nest.

Well, that is
a peculiars habits.

And it is from
this peculiar habit,

that we get the English term

cuckold.

Huh.

Are you familiar with
that term, Squirrely Dan?

I believes I have heards
in passings, yes.

Juan-Jorge believes cuckoldry

to be the purest and highest
form of sexual arousal.

This Juan-Jorge sounds
like a real interestings fellas.

Uh-hmm.
You better believe it,

that's all I've got to say.
Oh, you better believe it.

In fact, according to Juan-Jorge

only the sweet, sweet agony
and pure psychological torment

of watching a physically
superior man

pleasure his beloved wife

is enough
to truly excite him.

Just look at this big ol'
paw of yours, huh?

Look at that cocksucker, baby.

See, now most people think

just about one fella sleeping
with another's wife,

but no, Juan-Jorge believes

and explains in such
an arrangement,

that the real and
true connection is in fact,

between the bull...

And the cuckoo bird,
so to speak.

Huh. Daryl, how's your beer?

DARYL: Yeah, I could
have a beer.

Maybe it's time
we pulls a Brexit.

WAYNE, KATY AND DARYL: Shh.

Guess what?
ALL: What?

It very well maybe time
to pull the Singapore Scram.

What's a Singapore Scram?

It's when you grab
onto a rope wire

and have a helicopter fly
you out of there.

Nobody's flying away
anywhere, that's all I know.

Hell, no. It's karaoke time.

ALL: Over and out.

What's on the menu
this evening, my dear?

I need my rits.
Hmm.

Burning the candle
at both ends, are we?

Finals are coming.
I need my rits to study.

Well, don't move.

Darien.

The Ritalin.

Good luck on your exams.

These aren't my rits.
Come again?

Anabolic steroids.

Those are 'roids
not 'rits.

But that means...
I need my rits.

That means you sold
the gym rats rits,

not 'roids,
you rapscallion.

I need my rits not 'roids.

Those were meant
to be rits not 'roids.

Yet, here we are,
'roids not rits.

Uh hm. Rit-tidiculous.
Oh, 'roid-ally.

(SCREAMS) Rits!

Locked and loaded, bro.

Bring on the gains, boys.
Capital gains, boys.

Charlotte Gains, bro.
A quick Serge of Gains, bro.

Focus is?
Traps and tri's buddy.

Traps and tri's, bro.

We should be ripping
sand bell slammers.

We should be ripping
kettleball sumo deadlifts.

We should be ripping
standing V-bar pushdowns.

We should be ripping cable
hammer curls

with rope
attachment.

We should be ripping close
grip EZ bar curls with band.

We should be ripping standing
dumbbell reverse spider curls.

We should be ripping

two arm barbell wide grip
preachers curls.

Like Arnold, buddy.
Uh-hmmm.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

I don't know what's going on

but I don't feel like ripping
V-Bar tricep pushdowns.

Maybe it's
the half cycle, buddy.

I know what you mean,
buddy. Maybe we should rip

a full cycle, buddy.
Full cycle, buddy.

Ferds. Uh, great.

One more rip and then
we rip super sets

of standing
sand bell tricep extendies.

One more rip and we rip
standing bicep stretchies.

We should b ripping
one arm cable curlies.

We should be ripping advanced
alternate air bike ab rollies.

We should be ripping
rollout incline heel touchies.

We should be ripping bent
press barbell side bendies.

We should be ripping...
We should be ripping...

We should be ripping...
We should be ripping...

We should be ripping...
We should be ripping...

Judo flippies Russian
cable twisties, ferda!

Ferda.

So if we rip ten super sets

at a rate of ten or every
fifteen minutes, that's...

How many reps
per super set, buddy?

Twenty reps per super set.
Make that 30.

Done, buddy.
Now double it.

If we rip 60 reps per super set

at a rate of 10 every
15 minutes, that means

we'll need to rip sixteen
and a half

more half-cycles
before the next season starts.

Can't let coach down, buddy.
Not an option, buddy.

It's beautiful.

We're gonna need
a bigger blackboard.

What's this, boys?

Nothing, Snipes.
Nothing, Snipes.

Does Ritalin help
get gains?

Should we try it?
Rits not 'roids, then?

Those are rits.
Not 'roids?

BOTH: Rits not 'roids, boys.

Maybe we should

dig deep?
Bare down.

Natural gains, bro?

A Serge of Natural Gains, bro.

Au naturale.
Au naturale.

(SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

She's got the voice
of an angel, doesn't she?

Oh, it's catchy.

(SQUEALS)

Oof!
Bravo!

Bravo and brava.

And then there were four.

Oh, yeah.
I have a few ground rules I'd like to cover.

Pertaining to...
Shoot.

No open mouth kissing

on the mouth.
Pardon?

Observed.
Figging and cupping and light electro-play

are all on the table.

But I do have soft limits on K9
role play and mummification.

GLEN: Excuse me?
Observed.

No tushy play unless
I ask for it and I will ask

for it.

What?
Observed.

Once we get started,

it is recommended that
you do not look me

directly in the eye.

Safe word.
Huh?

Close, Glen,
but my safe word is uhunn.

Once again?
Uhunnn!

Oh! Oh, my,
you all are polyamorous.

BOTH: Bingo!

Despite being in wedlock.

BOTH: Bulls-eye.

Oh, that's a sin.

I'm going to have
to skedaddle.

Tokyo Sayonara
for me. Where's that kitty?

Squirrely Dan.
Uh-huh?

So now do you see
what we mean by the Lifestyle?

Yup.

Who'd have thought the McMurrays
would've been the swinging type.

I could have told you that
before we got over there, bud.

Nobody wouldsa thunk it.

Pertnear, everyone in town
thunk it.

Why do you think
Rosie stayed home to read?

It must be a pretty good book.

It must be like...

The Boy at The Leafs Camp.

They seem so normal.
Do they?

They walks among us...
Undetecteds.

Well, I say,
live and let live.

Oh, me too.

Yeah. To each his
and hers own. Am I right?

Sure. But you wanna
know what?

It sure is nice
to be back in the comfort zone.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Hi, Rosie.

... a little Crave
and misbehave?

Hard yes.

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