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1
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,100
You were huckin' the ball around
with your pals the other day...
2
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:13,283
Say, uh...
3
00:00:13,284 --> 00:00:15,949
What's the deal with your
sweetie there, Squirrely Dan?
4
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,283
Well, I took her out last night.
5
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:20,199
- Where to?
- Outs to the chip truck.
6
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,533
- Fries and gravy?
- I had mine with gravy.
7
00:00:22,534 --> 00:00:24,533
She had hers with
salts and malts vinegar.
8
00:00:24,534 --> 00:00:26,652
Do you know that salt and malt
vinegar's a non-traditional way
9
00:00:26,653 --> 00:00:28,366
to dress your French
fries in the United States?
10
00:00:28,367 --> 00:00:29,879
What the fuck is wrong with them?
11
00:00:29,881 --> 00:00:31,616
Like malt vinegar is
not a staple condiment
12
00:00:31,617 --> 00:00:33,606
on tabletops in restaurants
in the United States.
13
00:00:33,608 --> 00:00:34,616
Fuck, figure it out.
14
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:35,706
That's what I say. I say, figure it out.
15
00:00:35,707 --> 00:00:38,199
Got no vinegars on the tables,
no Krafts peanut butters.
16
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,868
- WAYNE: Figure it out.
- DARYL: Fuckin' figure it out.
17
00:00:39,869 --> 00:00:41,866
Better not forget those
fuckin' all-dressed chips.
18
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,699
No ketchup chips neither.
19
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:45,449
WAYNE: Figure it out.
20
00:00:45,450 --> 00:00:46,949
Somebody really ought to write a letter.
21
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,449
They do got six different
types of Cap'n Crunch, though.
22
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,616
How do you know that?
23
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,033
Saw a comedian talks about it
on the Juste Pour Rires.
24
00:00:53,034 --> 00:00:54,449
Can't remember his name, though.
25
00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:55,616
Good guy, though?
26
00:00:55,617 --> 00:00:57,762
A little long-winded for my taste.
But, yeah, a pretty good guy.
27
00:00:57,763 --> 00:00:59,370
Well, glad to hear he's
a good guy at least.
28
00:00:59,371 --> 00:01:00,771
They have running water down there?
29
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:02,783
Anyhoo,
30
00:01:02,784 --> 00:01:04,616
the evening went so well that, uh,
31
00:01:04,617 --> 00:01:06,949
we got up to a little
bits of a foolin' around.
32
00:01:07,036 --> 00:01:08,171
Did you French her?
33
00:01:08,173 --> 00:01:09,699
WAYNE: Kind of out of line there, Dary.
34
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,866
- Did you go up her shirt?
- Now you're really out of line, Dary.
35
00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:14,283
We did French, that much I will reveal.
36
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:15,949
Well, you already revealed that much,
37
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,533
might as well just tell us
if you went up her shirt.
38
00:01:17,534 --> 00:01:19,783
It's impolite to kiss and tell, Dary.
39
00:01:19,784 --> 00:01:22,116
I don't like to kiss and tell, but...
40
00:01:22,117 --> 00:01:23,866
The Frenchin's tooks a hard left turn,
41
00:01:23,867 --> 00:01:25,434
from which I have yets to recover.
42
00:01:27,617 --> 00:01:29,033
Do you wanna know what?
43
00:01:29,034 --> 00:01:31,033
I'm not asking you to kiss and tell,
44
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:32,366
'cause that's impolite.
45
00:01:32,367 --> 00:01:33,684
But...
46
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:35,866
I'm kind of curious.
47
00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:37,699
Yeah, Dan, kiss and tell.
48
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:40,380
I'm sure you boys have had a couple...
49
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,134
... of curve balls thrown
your way betwixt the sheets.
50
00:01:44,867 --> 00:01:46,999
Well, not to be impolite, but,
51
00:01:47,784 --> 00:01:50,326
you know, sometimes a
gal will be kissin' around
52
00:01:50,328 --> 00:01:52,980
on, like, the area near your genitals,
53
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,470
but not quite on your genitals.
54
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,017
Makes me ticklish and insecure.
55
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,451
You know, not to be impolite,
56
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,865
but sometimes a gal will
do some kissin' on the ears,
57
00:02:02,866 --> 00:02:04,024
which makes me uncomfortable,
58
00:02:04,025 --> 00:02:05,257
because even though I clean my ears,
59
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,623
sometimes a tater will just
roll out of there unexpected.
60
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:10,359
(CHUCKLES)
61
00:02:10,361 --> 00:02:12,193
I kind of likes both those things.
62
00:02:12,513 --> 00:02:14,180
Yeah, it's why you're
called "Squirrely Dan."
63
00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:15,997
Yeah, reason fuckin' five million.
64
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:19,017
Well, nots to be impolite, but...
65
00:02:20,284 --> 00:02:22,434
This gal suggested that
66
00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:25,850
maybe I should have some
67
00:02:26,784 --> 00:02:28,434
attentions paid
68
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,684
to my butts hole.
69
00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:37,850
That ever...
70
00:02:38,979 --> 00:02:41,145
Ever happen to you guys?
71
00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:43,633
Did you ever have a gal
suggest that you need
72
00:02:44,114 --> 00:02:45,764
some attentions paid
73
00:02:47,286 --> 00:02:48,936
to your butts holes?
74
00:02:59,117 --> 00:03:01,517
I'll take that as a hard no, I guess?
75
00:03:02,534 --> 00:03:05,017
She put a couple of
fingers up there and...
76
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,185
It turns out you got a...
77
00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:09,948
An erogenous zone up there.
78
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:12,517
Found... Found the hot button and...
79
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,595
Gaves it a tickle and, uh...
80
00:03:17,534 --> 00:03:19,684
Yeah. Feels, uh...
81
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,949
It feels pretty good, you guys, okay?
82
00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,017
- Pop fly.
- I really liked it.
83
00:03:29,284 --> 00:03:31,600
It felt... Felt very natural.
84
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:36,951
Nice.
85
00:03:37,081 --> 00:03:38,412
That's how you get the
body in front of it.
86
00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:41,564
- Get the body in front of it.
- They call it "milking the prostate."
87
00:03:43,784 --> 00:03:46,017
Well, it's impolite to kiss and tell.
88
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,710
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
89
00:03:48,815 --> 00:03:50,815
Subtitle by peritta
90
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,116
- Where's Stewart been, Katy?
- He's not talking to me.
91
00:04:04,117 --> 00:04:05,769
- Why?
- I don't know.
92
00:04:05,771 --> 00:04:07,533
Here are your birthday
pancakes, big brother.
93
00:04:07,534 --> 00:04:08,866
Don't fuck with tradition.
94
00:04:08,867 --> 00:04:10,033
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
95
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,667
BOTH: Happy birthday, Wayne.
96
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,301
Jinx. You owe me a Coke.
97
00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:14,587
Well, see now, that you
can get in the States.
98
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,533
What you can't get,
though, is Crush Cream Soda.
99
00:04:16,534 --> 00:04:19,489
- BOTH: We got you a present, Wayne.
- Two Cokes.
100
00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:21,366
We don't make a thing of
birthdays in this family.
101
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:23,197
Can we skip my super-soft
birthday party then this year?
102
00:04:23,198 --> 00:04:24,125
Hard no!
103
00:04:24,127 --> 00:04:26,158
It's not a birthday thing,
it's an efficiency thing.
104
00:04:26,159 --> 00:04:28,005
Uh, if you can be one thing,
you should be efficient.
105
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,949
We got you an appointment
with a matchmaker.
106
00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:31,699
Get the... Take a...
107
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:32,949
Well, start walkin'.
108
00:04:32,950 --> 00:04:34,116
Well, you won't do online dating.
109
00:04:34,117 --> 00:04:36,616
There's no more MoDeans, so
you can't meet girls there.
110
00:04:36,617 --> 00:04:37,949
You're handcuffed, cowboy.
111
00:04:38,019 --> 00:04:39,725
- Figure it out.
- Yeah, figures it out.
112
00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,603
Don't you tell me to figure it out.
Yous are the ones should figure it out.
113
00:04:41,604 --> 00:04:43,533
All you have to do is sit
down with a matchmaker,
114
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:45,116
answer a few questions,
115
00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:47,033
and then she sets you up
on three dates with girls
116
00:04:47,034 --> 00:04:48,199
that she thinks you'll jive with.
117
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,638
Has anyone heard from
Jivin' Pete lately?
118
00:04:49,639 --> 00:04:50,661
Oh, yeah, yeah.
119
00:04:50,663 --> 00:04:52,701
No, Jivin' Pete's one
nut got all swole up...
120
00:04:52,703 --> 00:04:54,783
I don't give a shit about
Jivin' Pete's one nut.
121
00:04:54,784 --> 00:04:56,609
No, no, this is a story
about Jivin' Pete's other nut.
122
00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:59,699
Yeah, Jivin' Pete's had himself a
botched vasectomy a little while back,
123
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,287
so now his one nut's there all swole up
124
00:05:01,289 --> 00:05:03,327
bigger than the first
nut that was all swole up.
125
00:05:03,329 --> 00:05:04,866
If you can believes that nonsense.
126
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,283
Was Jivin' showin' it to people again?
127
00:05:06,284 --> 00:05:08,033
Oh, he's showin' it
to people. I seen it.
128
00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:09,403
- You seen it, Dary?
- Oh, I seen it.
129
00:05:09,404 --> 00:05:11,366
- Yeah, I never seen it.
- It looks like a rambutan.
130
00:05:11,367 --> 00:05:13,283
Which is to say, this hairy fruit.
131
00:05:13,284 --> 00:05:14,626
So, not smooth like a persimmon?
132
00:05:14,628 --> 00:05:16,753
DAN: No, although it is about
the size of a persimmons.
133
00:05:16,754 --> 00:05:18,370
Which, of course, is
much like a tomatoes.
134
00:05:18,371 --> 00:05:20,500
What sort of potent peace
pipe was some prick pulling off
135
00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:22,151
when he titled tomatoes "fruits"?
136
00:05:22,617 --> 00:05:24,116
Well...
137
00:05:24,203 --> 00:05:26,285
Now both Jivin' Pete's
nuts have a story,
138
00:05:26,287 --> 00:05:28,698
which I hope guarantees that
I'll never have to listen
139
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,815
to another story about
Jivin' Pete's nuts.
140
00:05:30,817 --> 00:05:32,699
- He's a good guy.
- He's a real good guy.
141
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,033
- No, he's a great guy.
- Wayne.
142
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,116
You're looking for love.
143
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,304
And you said it yourself,
144
00:05:36,306 --> 00:05:38,366
"If you can be one thing, be efficient."
145
00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:39,455
Do's it once, do's it rights.
146
00:05:39,456 --> 00:05:40,409
Figures it out.
147
00:05:40,411 --> 00:05:41,868
Pitter-patter, let's get
at 'er, figure it out.
148
00:05:41,869 --> 00:05:43,783
You shouldn't gang up on
people on their birthdays.
149
00:05:43,784 --> 00:05:45,949
We don't make a thing of
birthdays in this family.
150
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:47,293
She's comin' this afternoon.
151
00:05:47,295 --> 00:05:48,533
Don't be in your barnin' clothes.
152
00:05:48,534 --> 00:05:50,017
(SPOON SCRAPING)
153
00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,449
I fuckin' hate praccy, bro.
154
00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:59,199
It's Senior-A whale shit,
bro. Why even praccy?
155
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,199
Like, I'm just gonna
praccy like a donkey.
156
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,366
I could donk all day.
157
00:06:02,367 --> 00:06:04,449
Just blast clappers at the hash marks
158
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,866
at the fuckin' plug tendy of ours.
159
00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:07,533
Clappys from the hashys, buddy.
160
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,116
Just steppin' into one
from the ladies' tees.
161
00:06:09,117 --> 00:06:10,699
Just bulldoze that speed bump.
162
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,033
Just firin' ringers at his ears.
163
00:06:12,034 --> 00:06:13,033
Just firin' warm-up ringers.
164
00:06:13,034 --> 00:06:15,199
Just tossin' chest-high
sauce at the boys.
165
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,029
Just tossin' ankle-high rocket sauce.
166
00:06:17,031 --> 00:06:18,965
Just tossin' mad sui's up the middle.
167
00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:20,848
Just tossin' mad sui's
through the trolley tracks.
168
00:06:20,849 --> 00:06:23,849
Just tossin' mad breakout
sui's directly into the skates.
169
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,001
Just tossin' mad breakout sui's.
170
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,866
You know, it might be
a fun praccy after all.
171
00:06:28,867 --> 00:06:30,866
I could donk all day, boys.
172
00:06:30,867 --> 00:06:32,600
(MUTTERING)
173
00:06:34,246 --> 00:06:37,537
I don't think I've ever
sat on a hay bale before.
174
00:06:37,539 --> 00:06:40,517
That's a straw bale, and that's barley.
175
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:43,283
Wonderful.
176
00:06:43,284 --> 00:06:44,866
Great. Um...
177
00:06:44,892 --> 00:06:46,538
So, a little bit about me.
178
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,331
Uh, my service is called
179
00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:50,449
"Goldilocks and the Three Dates."
180
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,508
Katy...
181
00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:53,533
I forgot to tell her
not to tell you that.
182
00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:54,949
So, I've modeled my business
183
00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:58,194
after the charming story
that it's inspired by.
184
00:06:58,196 --> 00:07:00,533
I send my clients on three dates,
185
00:07:00,534 --> 00:07:04,003
and like the beds that
Goldilocks laid down in
186
00:07:04,005 --> 00:07:06,904
after eating the three bears' porridge,
187
00:07:06,906 --> 00:07:09,258
maybe one is "too hard,"
188
00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:12,372
and maybe one is "too soft."
189
00:07:12,374 --> 00:07:14,204
But in the end we hope
190
00:07:14,489 --> 00:07:17,178
that maybe one is just right.
191
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,366
- Katy...
- Get after it. You're losin' him.
192
00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:21,866
Okay. Wayne, why don't you just
193
00:07:21,867 --> 00:07:23,449
tell me a little bit about yourself.
194
00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,533
It's impolite to talk about yourself.
195
00:07:25,534 --> 00:07:28,699
Keeps his truck clean. Loves his dogs.
196
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,699
Enjoys a beer and a smoke.
197
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,699
Beer... Beer and smoke.
198
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,533
That's... Wow, you know.
199
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:36,116
I get it. Rustic.
200
00:07:36,117 --> 00:07:37,458
Trucks, got it.
201
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,915
We will make this work. I love it, okay.
202
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,461
And then, um, Wayne,
can you just tell me
203
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,866
a little bit about
your past relationship?
204
00:07:44,017 --> 00:07:45,933
You shouldn't air your dirty laundry.
205
00:07:45,934 --> 00:07:47,766
Five years. Ended a while ago.
206
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,894
No baggage.
207
00:07:48,896 --> 00:07:51,933
No baggage, love that.
No baggage, no babies.
208
00:07:51,934 --> 00:07:53,834
Likey. (LAUGHING)
209
00:07:54,754 --> 00:07:55,709
This is fun.
210
00:07:55,711 --> 00:07:58,683
I'm having a fun time in this place.
211
00:07:58,684 --> 00:07:59,839
And, Wayne, can you tell me
212
00:07:59,841 --> 00:08:01,497
how much you make in a fiscal year?
213
00:08:01,499 --> 00:08:02,484
WAYNE: Katy!
214
00:08:02,486 --> 00:08:04,183
It's impolite to talk about your money.
215
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,349
He's no slouch.
216
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,183
Okay. Touche.
217
00:08:07,184 --> 00:08:11,016
Well, I'm about to begin your story.
218
00:08:11,017 --> 00:08:13,683
Where maybe one is "too hard."
219
00:08:13,684 --> 00:08:16,881
Maybe one is, um...
220
00:08:16,883 --> 00:08:19,834
- But in the end...
- Yeah, you lost him.
221
00:08:20,512 --> 00:08:22,579
He seems... He seems nice.
222
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:26,099
Do you live...
223
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,584
Do you live in here?
224
00:08:28,482 --> 00:08:31,516
So, what did you think of Goldilocks
and the Three Dates there, Wayne?
225
00:08:31,517 --> 00:08:33,500
Ready to fall in Goldi-love?
226
00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:36,016
Or Goldi-lust?
227
00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:38,683
You won't be Goldi-laughin'
when I break your Goldi-legs.
228
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,099
Dim the Goldi-lights?
229
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,683
Nights of your Goldi-life?
230
00:08:42,779 --> 00:08:45,043
Use your Goldi-language.
Make her Goldi-laugh.
231
00:08:45,045 --> 00:08:46,433
Make it Goldi-last.
232
00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:47,898
Better Goldi-lay off, before they find
233
00:08:47,899 --> 00:08:50,529
your Goldi-limbs in a
Goldi-landfill, Goldi-literally.
234
00:08:51,171 --> 00:08:52,501
Take her on a Goldi-lunch?
235
00:08:52,503 --> 00:08:54,570
Maybe a Goldi-late suppers?
236
00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:57,437
- Maybe she's a Goldi-lawyer.
- Ooh.
237
00:08:57,439 --> 00:08:59,605
You think I'm Goldi-lyin'?
Enough Goldi-lip.
238
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:02,924
A Goldi-longshoresman will find
your bodies in the Goldi-lake!
239
00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:07,298
Gentlemen, a question. A query.
240
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,312
- An inquis...
- Pitter-patter.
241
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:13,174
Has Katy mentioned anything
about me not talking to her?
242
00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:15,521
- Can confirm.
- Major league.
243
00:09:15,523 --> 00:09:16,754
- It's working.
- What's working?
244
00:09:16,755 --> 00:09:18,446
By not talking to her, she
will form the conclusion
245
00:09:18,447 --> 00:09:20,883
that I'm upset with her
and eventually ask me why.
246
00:09:20,885 --> 00:09:22,452
Why you so butt-hurt, Stewart?
247
00:09:24,414 --> 00:09:26,182
- Well, she acts like...
- Just kidding. I don't give a fuck.
248
00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:27,933
DAN: Wait. So, you're upsets with her,
249
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:30,849
and you wanna communicate
that by not communicatings?
250
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:32,599
Acutely.
251
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,000
You are spare parts, aren't you, bud?
252
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:38,334
Let me know if Katy asks about me.
253
00:09:40,434 --> 00:09:41,683
Heads up!
254
00:09:41,684 --> 00:09:43,167
Ow!
255
00:09:46,434 --> 00:09:48,084
(MUSIC PLAYING)
256
00:09:58,074 --> 00:09:59,078
I'm Kim.
257
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,775
I'm a psychologist and a feminist.
258
00:10:00,777 --> 00:10:02,760
- I'll be paying the bill.
- I'm Wayne.
259
00:10:03,684 --> 00:10:04,766
Wayne!
260
00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:05,942
Glen. How are you now?
261
00:10:05,944 --> 00:10:08,266
- Ah, good and you?
- Oh, not so bad.
262
00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:10,683
Well, I guess the kitten's
out of the clutch on this one.
263
00:10:10,684 --> 00:10:12,877
I also have to work as a waitress
264
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:13,875
to make ends meet.
265
00:10:13,877 --> 00:10:15,516
- WAYNE: Sure you do.
- I'm Kim.
266
00:10:15,517 --> 00:10:16,626
Are you ever.
267
00:10:16,628 --> 00:10:18,183
Look at you. I'm lovin' this.
268
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,016
You're like a shark. I'm scared.
269
00:10:20,017 --> 00:10:22,183
Like a Julie Moore, or
like a Jessie Chastain.
270
00:10:22,184 --> 00:10:24,516
- What can I get you to drink?
- Uh, we'll need a minute.
271
00:10:24,517 --> 00:10:26,606
Uh, please and thank you.
272
00:10:26,608 --> 00:10:27,570
Hmm. All right.
273
00:10:27,572 --> 00:10:29,847
Well, you'll take care of
little Miss Nicki Kidman here
274
00:10:29,849 --> 00:10:31,599
till I get back, Mr. McConaughey?
275
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,167
- Sure, I will.
- All right.
276
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,599
He crosses his arms.
277
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:38,595
Are you aware of the
psychology behind that?
278
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:39,817
Now, when you say "he,"
279
00:10:39,819 --> 00:10:41,266
you're talking about me, right?
280
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:42,683
He has wit.
281
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,224
Do you know why you cross your arms?
282
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,203
Feels like you're talking
to two people right now.
283
00:10:46,205 --> 00:10:47,297
Crossing your arms,
284
00:10:47,299 --> 00:10:49,195
whether it be consciously
or subconsciously,
285
00:10:49,197 --> 00:10:50,683
is a sign of defense.
286
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,433
You're protecting your vital organs.
287
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:53,599
Do you feel threatened by me?
288
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,433
Well, I don't, but the other guy might.
289
00:10:55,434 --> 00:10:57,516
He is hilarious.
290
00:10:57,517 --> 00:10:59,207
Enough psychology for now.
291
00:10:59,209 --> 00:11:01,013
What do you know about feminism, Wayne?
292
00:11:01,015 --> 00:11:03,599
I know it's unsafe territory
to discuss with a feminist.
293
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,099
- Why?
- Someone will start shoutin'.
294
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:06,797
- Why?
- I don't know.
295
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,020
Feminism is the belief
that women and men
296
00:11:09,022 --> 00:11:11,438
should have equal
rights and opportunities.
297
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,272
So, are you a feminist, Wayne?
298
00:11:13,274 --> 00:11:14,857
Well, I trust my sister
299
00:11:14,859 --> 00:11:17,524
with just about any job
under the sun over a man.
300
00:11:17,526 --> 00:11:19,359
- But 'cept this one, I guess.
- Excuse me?
301
00:11:19,361 --> 00:11:21,932
Not to be impolite but you're
not exposed to talk about sex,
302
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:24,599
politics or religion
at the supper table.
303
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,579
(SIGHING) What do you want, Wayne?
304
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:29,599
- I'd have a Gus'n Bru, likely.
- Not what I'm asking.
305
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,349
What's a Gus'n Bru?
306
00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:33,076
Ooh! I'll Google it and find out.
307
00:11:33,078 --> 00:11:34,750
I'm kiddin'. I know exactly what it is.
308
00:11:34,752 --> 00:11:36,349
But we don't have any.
309
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:37,546
So, what can I get you to drink?
310
00:11:37,547 --> 00:11:39,478
I'll have a Caesar and he'll have a...
311
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,178
Pint of lager, please. Something local.
312
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:42,456
- Thank you.
- GLEN: All right.
313
00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:44,457
So, a local lager for Mr. Brando
314
00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:46,208
and a Caesar for Sandy Bullock.
315
00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:48,360
I love those orders. Be right back.
316
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,250
I didn't think they'd
have it at Four Dancers.
317
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,917
Yes, I didn't think they'd
have it at this resto-bar.
318
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:56,168
- Gastro-pub.
- Says "resto-bar" on the sign.
319
00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:57,911
It's more of a micro-bistro.
320
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,924
Says brasserie on the
menu right there, too.
321
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,625
It's more of a bistro-brasserie.
322
00:12:01,627 --> 00:12:03,283
When I came in they asked me if I wanted
323
00:12:03,285 --> 00:12:05,132
to sit at the resto-bar
or the gastro-lounge.
324
00:12:05,134 --> 00:12:06,549
I'm glad you chose the resto-bar.
325
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,451
This is actually the gastro-lounge.
326
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:13,385
Do you know what an
emergency call is, Wayne?
327
00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:15,987
- Negative.
- It's when you have a friend
328
00:12:15,989 --> 00:12:18,349
call 10, 15 minutes into a date
329
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:20,099
to be sure the date isn't a total bust.
330
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,427
And if it is, then you
can play the phone call
331
00:12:22,429 --> 00:12:24,665
as though it's an emergency
and leave the date.
332
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:27,633
Well, that's fair. I guess we are
first cousin to an emergency here.
333
00:12:27,635 --> 00:12:28,814
A good one.
334
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,644
And you shouldn't be afraid of it.
335
00:12:30,646 --> 00:12:32,879
I think we could do good things here.
336
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,584
I'm going to call my friend
337
00:12:35,586 --> 00:12:38,257
and cancel her pending emergency call,
338
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:39,707
and when I get back,
339
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:42,516
let's talk about your feelings, Wayne.
340
00:12:42,517 --> 00:12:45,689
- Okay.
- Let's really talk about them.
341
00:12:45,691 --> 00:12:47,940
- Okay.
- I wanna take 'em,
342
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,000
and I wanna talk about them.
343
00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:09,250
Oh, it's Wayne. How are you now?
344
00:13:09,684 --> 00:13:10,849
Oh, not so bad.
345
00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:13,000
Yeah, this one's too hard.
346
00:13:13,019 --> 00:13:16,683
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
347
00:13:16,684 --> 00:13:19,250
We don't have time to
discuss that business.
348
00:13:23,174 --> 00:13:24,491
Devon.
349
00:13:27,934 --> 00:13:29,705
Stewart.
350
00:13:29,707 --> 00:13:32,349
I come in peace.
351
00:13:32,350 --> 00:13:34,766
How do we know you don't have
another one of those in your sock?
352
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:36,167
You don't.
353
00:13:38,237 --> 00:13:40,320
Speak. Do not approach.
354
00:13:40,322 --> 00:13:42,904
- Seen Katy around?
- No.
355
00:13:43,017 --> 00:13:45,500
- That is all.
- (GROWLING) Stewart!
356
00:13:47,689 --> 00:13:49,271
Trouble in paradise?
357
00:13:49,273 --> 00:13:51,439
If there was, she wouldn't know it.
358
00:13:51,441 --> 00:13:52,857
I'm not talking to her.
359
00:13:52,859 --> 00:13:54,774
Well played. Wait it out.
360
00:13:54,776 --> 00:13:56,026
That way she'll come
to the conclusion that
361
00:13:56,027 --> 00:13:57,527
you're upset with her and ask you why.
362
00:13:57,528 --> 00:13:59,694
- Precisely.
- She should anyway.
363
00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:01,278
- If she's smart.
- I know.
364
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,056
- Why are you mad at her?
- She acts like...
365
00:14:03,058 --> 00:14:04,542
You should try an open relationship.
366
00:14:05,517 --> 00:14:06,550
Could be productive.
367
00:14:06,552 --> 00:14:08,766
You could also try a hall pass.
It's when you give, you know,
368
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,153
her being allowed to
sleep with one person
369
00:14:10,154 --> 00:14:11,766
and that's it, no questions asked.
370
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,765
Another plausibly fruitful option.
371
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:15,766
New GTA and COD out today.
372
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,516
We're going to sesh.
373
00:14:17,517 --> 00:14:19,500
- Been gaming much?
- Always gaming.
374
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:21,402
- You?
- Just gamed.
375
00:14:21,404 --> 00:14:23,320
Stimulating morning game.
376
00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:24,362
Evening game will eclipse.
377
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,798
I gamed a 4:00-to-4:00 shift last night.
378
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:26,876
You're gaming taxi driver's hours?
379
00:14:26,877 --> 00:14:28,414
I gamed a 10:00-to-4:00 shift today.
380
00:14:28,416 --> 00:14:29,594
Gaming banker's hours.
381
00:14:29,596 --> 00:14:32,016
I'll probably game a
5:00-to-7:00 shift now.
382
00:14:32,017 --> 00:14:34,334
Cing a Sept. Nous aussi.
383
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,000
You guys wanna hit up a happy hour?
384
00:14:39,732 --> 00:14:41,882
We're gonna hit another happy hour.
385
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:48,417
(MUSIC PLAYING)
386
00:14:49,517 --> 00:14:51,433
Heads up!
387
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:53,250
- STEWART: Ow!
- (CAR HORN BLARING)
388
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,584
I'm Lisa.
389
00:15:13,684 --> 00:15:15,000
Wayne.
390
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,933
GLEN: Wayne!
391
00:15:20,934 --> 00:15:22,621
- Glen, how are you now?
- Good and you?
392
00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:24,488
- Not so bad.
- Well, I guess the teddy's
393
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,099
out of the tickle
trunk on this one, too.
394
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,016
I also work here.
395
00:15:28,017 --> 00:15:30,933
Reason is the Salty Treat
blew out an amp the other day,
396
00:15:30,935 --> 00:15:34,240
rockin' out pretty hard to some
Lifehouse covers, which will happen.
397
00:15:34,242 --> 00:15:35,683
So, I'm pickin' up the
slack. I'm happy to do it.
398
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:37,016
Way she goes.
399
00:15:37,017 --> 00:15:38,433
I'm Lisa.
400
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,266
Are you ever. Look at you!
401
00:15:40,268 --> 00:15:42,021
It's America's little
sweetheart over here.
402
00:15:42,023 --> 00:15:43,473
You're like a little Katy Heigl
403
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,769
or like a little Katy Hudson.
404
00:15:45,771 --> 00:15:46,849
What can I get ya?
405
00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:47,958
Do you have cookies and cream?
406
00:15:47,959 --> 00:15:49,266
Do I...
407
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:50,310
Do I have cookies and cream?
408
00:15:50,311 --> 00:15:52,349
I sure do have cookies and cream.
409
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:56,099
(SIGHS) And I'm thinkin' maybe
a vanilla-fudge swirl chunk
410
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,460
for Mr. Newman over here?
411
00:15:57,462 --> 00:15:58,766
- That'll do, thank you.
- Okay.
412
00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,525
And you're gonna keep an eye
on little Caty Blanchett here
413
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,016
- for me till I get back?
- Sure will.
414
00:16:02,017 --> 00:16:03,917
Thank you! Be right back!
415
00:16:05,517 --> 00:16:08,016
- So, you're a farmer, Wayne?
- Can confirm.
416
00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:09,349
You don't smell like one.
417
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:11,766
(CHUCKLES) I'm kidding.
418
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,683
I'm a pre-school
principal. Do you like kids?
419
00:16:13,684 --> 00:16:15,849
- Hmm...
- I know, everyone likes kids.
420
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,016
They're so silly.
421
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:18,683
I love them when they're silly.
422
00:16:18,684 --> 00:16:21,943
But if they get too silly,
they have to come see me.
423
00:16:21,945 --> 00:16:23,183
- "Silly"?
- Mischief.
424
00:16:23,184 --> 00:16:24,994
- Trouble.
- We use gentler terms.
425
00:16:24,996 --> 00:16:26,054
As a policy.
426
00:16:26,056 --> 00:16:28,016
Well, so what happens
when they come see you?
427
00:16:28,017 --> 00:16:30,849
Well, we do things a little
differently in our program.
428
00:16:30,850 --> 00:16:33,433
The approach is
progressive and positive.
429
00:16:33,434 --> 00:16:35,349
We issue a hug consent form to parents,
430
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:36,933
which allows us to hug their kids.
431
00:16:36,934 --> 00:16:39,634
Because 99% of the time, all kids need
432
00:16:39,973 --> 00:16:41,549
- is a hug.
- "A hug"?
433
00:16:41,551 --> 00:16:43,207
- A squeeze.
- Well, you squeeze 'em.
434
00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:44,516
- An embrace.
- Oh.
435
00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:46,001
- Oh?
- Well...
436
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,267
- What is it?
- Nothin'.
437
00:16:47,269 --> 00:16:48,599
- Wayne.
- Yeah?
438
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,683
- Speak freely.
- No, I'd better not.
439
00:16:50,684 --> 00:16:53,099
That's the only way we'll
get to know each other.
440
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,683
But do you ever smack 'em?
441
00:16:54,684 --> 00:16:56,933
- Excuse me?
- Like, give 'em a good whack?
442
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,159
- I don't follow.
- Do you ever hit the kid?
443
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,635
Like, for being too silly.
444
00:17:01,684 --> 00:17:03,599
No! Wayne.
445
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,183
We never hit our kids.
You shouldn't hit kids.
446
00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:07,211
Well, you know what, don't you remember
447
00:17:07,212 --> 00:17:09,650
how scared you were of your
principal when you were growing up?
448
00:17:09,651 --> 00:17:11,812
It's 'cause he'd smack you
if you were being too silly.
449
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:14,392
Like your parents wanted you to
have a principal who would smack you.
450
00:17:14,393 --> 00:17:15,571
They took comfort in the fact
451
00:17:15,573 --> 00:17:17,290
that they were sending
you to a place every day
452
00:17:17,291 --> 00:17:19,047
where someone would smack you for them
453
00:17:19,049 --> 00:17:20,433
if you were being too silly.
454
00:17:20,434 --> 00:17:22,834
And sometimes I see kids these
days, I kind of think, like...
455
00:17:23,934 --> 00:17:25,683
Like, wish you could still do that.
456
00:17:25,684 --> 00:17:28,016
That sort of discipline
is long outdated, Wayne,
457
00:17:28,017 --> 00:17:29,266
and frowned upon.
458
00:17:29,305 --> 00:17:30,471
We sit the child down...
459
00:17:30,473 --> 00:17:32,099
- That's another problem.
- What is?
460
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:33,766
- In my opinion.
- Sitting?
461
00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:35,469
Well, no wonder kids are failin' school,
462
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,665
just sittin' around all day.
463
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,166
Stand up, you're not doing nothin'.
464
00:17:38,248 --> 00:17:39,664
You think sitting is a problem?
465
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:40,998
- Yeah.
- Why?
466
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,182
'Cause it makes you soft.
467
00:17:42,455 --> 00:17:45,516
- Literally or figuratively?
- Well, both, I suppose.
468
00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:47,266
- Both?
- Yeah.
469
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,683
In my opinion.
470
00:17:48,684 --> 00:17:50,167
My phone's buzzing.
471
00:17:52,184 --> 00:17:54,266
Well, so you like cookies
and cream ice cream, hey?
472
00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:55,516
Well, I think it's pretty good, too.
473
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:57,084
Hi, Michelle.
474
00:17:57,184 --> 00:17:58,516
Oh, no.
475
00:17:58,517 --> 00:18:00,766
Okay, I'll be right there.
476
00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:02,516
I'm sorry, Wayne, I've gotta go.
477
00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:04,132
- It's...
- An emergency.
478
00:18:04,134 --> 00:18:05,784
- Yeah.
- Okay.
479
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:19,599
It's Wayne.
480
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,099
Well, how are you now?
481
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,599
Oh, not so bad.
482
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,584
Yeah, this one's too soft.
483
00:18:26,267 --> 00:18:27,834
(SCOFFING)
484
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,167
(SIGHING)
485
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,000
(SIGHING CONTINUES)
486
00:18:43,017 --> 00:18:44,917
(GROANING)
487
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,584
(SIGHING)
488
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,515
(SIGHING CONTINUES)
489
00:18:58,517 --> 00:18:59,849
What?
490
00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:01,183
(SCOFFS)
491
00:19:01,184 --> 00:19:02,599
I'm not talking to you.
492
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,084
Super.
493
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,652
- (SIGHS)
- It's been three days.
494
00:19:06,654 --> 00:19:08,183
Why haven't you asked me what's wrong?
495
00:19:08,184 --> 00:19:10,646
- Something wrong?
- Of course it is.
496
00:19:10,648 --> 00:19:12,728
- You act like I don't...
- Should I have known that?
497
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:14,713
It's called "the silent treatment."
498
00:19:14,985 --> 00:19:16,817
Step one, I stop talking to you.
499
00:19:16,819 --> 00:19:18,286
Step two, you form the conclusion
500
00:19:18,288 --> 00:19:19,516
that something is wrong.
501
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,871
Step three, you ask me what's wrong.
502
00:19:21,873 --> 00:19:22,918
What's up with step one?
503
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,515
You've skipped step one and two.
504
00:19:24,517 --> 00:19:25,878
What's step three again?
505
00:19:26,184 --> 00:19:28,266
You ask me what's wrong!
506
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,667
Got it.
507
00:19:30,017 --> 00:19:31,266
Good.
508
00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:32,584
You bet.
509
00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:35,667
Go ahead.
510
00:19:36,017 --> 00:19:37,110
Where?
511
00:19:37,112 --> 00:19:39,349
- Step three.
- What's step three again?
512
00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:40,849
(EXHALES)
513
00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:42,599
We'll skip step three.
514
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,395
I'm just going to tell you what's wrong.
515
00:19:44,397 --> 00:19:45,720
That should have been step one.
516
00:19:45,722 --> 00:19:48,266
Wrong. Step one and two
are fundamental steps.
517
00:19:48,267 --> 00:19:50,599
You missed steps, Stewart.
518
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,099
How?
519
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,599
Step one, become angry with someone.
520
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,683
Step two, tell that
someone that you're angry.
521
00:19:57,684 --> 00:20:00,349
Step three, resolve
anger with that someone.
522
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:02,183
- Step four...
- (SCOFFING) Step four.
523
00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:05,500
Step four, resume peaceful existence.
524
00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:11,667
Your logic is frighteningly bewitching.
525
00:20:12,423 --> 00:20:13,922
Phantasmagoric.
526
00:20:13,924 --> 00:20:15,634
It's time for you to go.
527
00:20:16,934 --> 00:20:18,334
What?
528
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,016
Where?
529
00:20:20,017 --> 00:20:21,334
Leave here?
530
00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:22,933
It was a rebound.
531
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:25,298
Even though there was no
physical act of rebounding,
532
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:26,799
which is a first for me.
533
00:20:26,801 --> 00:20:28,285
(SCOFFS) Gross.
534
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,750
Seriously, Katy.
535
00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:33,599
W5.
536
00:20:33,856 --> 00:20:36,765
No one has time for the
silent treatment, Stewart.
537
00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:38,433
Not even in Letterkenny.
538
00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:40,000
Adios.
539
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,584
(MUSIC PLAYING)
540
00:20:54,006 --> 00:20:55,683
- DAN: Heads up!
- (LAUGHS)
541
00:20:55,684 --> 00:20:57,667
Nice try, shirt-tuckers!
542
00:20:58,934 --> 00:21:00,334
(DARYL SNICKERS)
543
00:21:02,017 --> 00:21:03,245
Ow!
544
00:21:03,247 --> 00:21:05,584
(WAILING)
545
00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:16,506
(MUSIC PLAYING)
546
00:21:37,699 --> 00:21:39,265
Hi, Wayne.
547
00:21:39,853 --> 00:21:41,336
Angie.
548
00:21:43,434 --> 00:21:44,500
Wayne!
549
00:21:46,267 --> 00:21:48,920
Oh, my gourd, what a coincidence.
550
00:21:48,922 --> 00:21:50,848
Oh, I bet you're thinkin' I work here.
551
00:21:50,850 --> 00:21:51,933
I don't work here.
552
00:21:51,934 --> 00:21:53,516
I just love Guy's fries.
553
00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:55,516
They're so crispy, and
you add a little salt...
554
00:21:55,517 --> 00:21:57,334
(LAUGHS) I just think
they're so delicious.
555
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:00,349
Ooh! Who is this?
556
00:22:00,350 --> 00:22:01,688
You're a masterpiece, aren't ya?
557
00:22:01,690 --> 00:22:05,216
You're like a Shelly Pfeiffer,
you're like a Charlie Theron,
558
00:22:05,218 --> 00:22:06,683
or like a Penny Cruz.
559
00:22:06,684 --> 00:22:07,849
Ooh!
560
00:22:07,850 --> 00:22:09,035
You're like a little Angie Jolie.
561
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,388
That's who you are, you're Angie.
562
00:22:10,850 --> 00:22:12,183
How are you now?
563
00:22:12,184 --> 00:22:14,516
- Good and you?
- Not so bad.
564
00:22:14,517 --> 00:22:15,766
Can we talk?
565
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:17,417
- Okay.
- "Talk."
566
00:22:18,934 --> 00:22:20,250
In your truck.
567
00:22:23,434 --> 00:22:24,750
Okay.
568
00:22:25,576 --> 00:22:28,000
Now that was just right.
569
00:22:28,076 --> 00:22:30,183
(EXHALES)
570
00:22:30,184 --> 00:22:32,201
So how did you make out, super chief?
571
00:22:32,203 --> 00:22:33,766
Did you find the missing Goldi-link?
572
00:22:33,767 --> 00:22:35,183
You fallin' in Goldi-love?
573
00:22:35,184 --> 00:22:37,429
It's better to Goldi-let this
go, before I Goldi-lose my shit.
574
00:22:37,430 --> 00:22:39,599
Oh, take your drink, you Goldi-lush.
575
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,167
Tread Goldi-lightly.
576
00:22:42,272 --> 00:22:43,605
So, that's no toe-curlin' then?
577
00:22:43,607 --> 00:22:44,832
It's impolite to kiss and tell.
578
00:22:44,833 --> 00:22:46,472
Nothin' wrong with a little
stank on the hang down.
579
00:22:46,473 --> 00:22:48,253
Nothin' wrong with a little
takesin' out in the trades.
580
00:22:48,254 --> 00:22:49,753
A little hizzin' in the skizzins.
581
00:22:49,755 --> 00:22:50,998
No, I know there's
nothin' wrong with a little
582
00:22:50,999 --> 00:22:52,232
goin' to the bone yard, I know that.
583
00:22:52,233 --> 00:22:53,537
Nothin' wrong with a
little bacon makin'.
584
00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:55,430
Nothin' wrong with a little
shot twixt winds and waters.
585
00:22:55,431 --> 00:22:56,938
A little building the blanket monster.
586
00:22:56,939 --> 00:22:58,993
I know there's nothin' wrong
with a little pituitary poke.
587
00:22:58,994 --> 00:23:00,393
- I know that.
- Nothin' wrong with a little
588
00:23:00,394 --> 00:23:02,143
makin' the beast with two backs.
589
00:23:02,145 --> 00:23:03,848
Makin' feet for children's stockin's.
590
00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:04,894
Testing the tube steak.
591
00:23:04,896 --> 00:23:07,279
Look, I know there's nothin' wrong
with a little crawl up the skin slide.
592
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,279
- I know that.
- Nothin' wrong with a little,
593
00:23:09,434 --> 00:23:12,472
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"
594
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:14,099
Now just pump the brakes right there.
595
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:15,706
- I got a question.
- Have at 'er.
596
00:23:15,708 --> 00:23:16,582
Then I got a comment.
597
00:23:16,584 --> 00:23:17,667
Well, let's hear it, good buddy.
598
00:23:17,668 --> 00:23:18,917
Now, my question.
599
00:23:18,919 --> 00:23:20,349
When have you ever heard a girl go,
600
00:23:20,350 --> 00:23:21,660
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
601
00:23:21,662 --> 00:23:24,167
- Well...
- Other than in a porno.
602
00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:26,599
- I don't believe I have.
- Me neithers.
603
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,266
That's because we don't say that.
604
00:23:28,267 --> 00:23:30,078
- Well...
- Not unless it's in a porno.
605
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,187
WAYNE: Now my comment.
606
00:23:31,189 --> 00:23:33,349
You see, the way Dary did the
"yes, yes, yes, yes, yes's"
607
00:23:33,350 --> 00:23:35,496
is not the way they do the
"yes, yes, yes" in pornos.
608
00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:36,914
That's the way they do it.
609
00:23:37,017 --> 00:23:38,933
The girl gets all excited, and she goes,
610
00:23:38,934 --> 00:23:41,932
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
611
00:23:41,934 --> 00:23:43,988
Yes, but the way you're doing
the "yes, yes, yes, yes's"
612
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:45,849
is not the way they do the
"yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
613
00:23:45,850 --> 00:23:47,216
DARYL: It is the way they do it.
614
00:23:47,218 --> 00:23:50,015
They go, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
615
00:23:50,017 --> 00:23:51,518
- That's exactly how they do it.
- WAYNE: No, they don't.
616
00:23:51,519 --> 00:23:53,238
What they do is they
find a super-high pitch
617
00:23:53,239 --> 00:23:54,487
for those first four yes's.
618
00:23:54,489 --> 00:23:56,443
And then they come in all
dramatic for that final "yes."
619
00:23:56,444 --> 00:23:58,433
So, it goes a little something
like, "Yes, yes, yes, yes."
620
00:23:58,434 --> 00:24:00,138
And then they get all
dramatic for that final "yes."
621
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:02,473
Say, "Yes! Oh."
622
00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:03,622
I don't think that's how they do it.
623
00:24:03,623 --> 00:24:04,730
I'd have to hears it again.
624
00:24:04,732 --> 00:24:07,647
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"
625
00:24:07,850 --> 00:24:09,466
Yeah. Yeah, porno girls do that.
626
00:24:09,468 --> 00:24:10,895
But only when the porno guys
627
00:24:10,897 --> 00:24:13,209
aren't busy finding some super-low tone
628
00:24:13,211 --> 00:24:15,349
and repeating over and over again,
629
00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:16,803
"Ah, fuck."
630
00:24:16,881 --> 00:24:18,682
"Ah, fuck."
631
00:24:18,684 --> 00:24:20,516
I takes a bit offense
to that, Miss Katy,
632
00:24:20,517 --> 00:24:22,183
as I have a naturally low voice,
633
00:24:22,184 --> 00:24:24,349
and I do likes to say, "Ah, fuck."
634
00:24:24,350 --> 00:24:25,683
"Ah, fuck."
635
00:24:25,684 --> 00:24:27,016
Exceptin' I don't do it in pornos.
636
00:24:27,017 --> 00:24:28,433
Well, then you should do voiceovers
637
00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:30,016
for English-dubbed foreign pornos, Dan,
638
00:24:30,017 --> 00:24:33,183
because that was a text
book "ah, fuck, ah, fuck."
639
00:24:33,184 --> 00:24:34,349
Why thank you, Miss Katy.
640
00:24:34,350 --> 00:24:36,725
I've never had any complaints
from any of my sexual companions
641
00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:40,000
about my "ah, fuck, ah, fuck."
642
00:24:41,113 --> 00:24:42,314
KATY: Let me hear yours, Dary.
643
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:46,099
Well, I... I'm confused still on
the "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes's."
644
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:48,849
So, Wayne, it's like, uh,
645
00:24:48,850 --> 00:24:51,516
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes"?
646
00:24:51,517 --> 00:24:53,516
See, it's not as if it's a
fuckin' question, Dary, is it?
647
00:24:53,517 --> 00:24:54,666
You're saying it like it's a question.
648
00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:59,226
So, it's like, "Yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes."
649
00:24:59,228 --> 00:25:00,561
You're gettin' closer,
Dary, but what you want to do
650
00:25:00,562 --> 00:25:01,729
is put a little pepper on the end of it.
651
00:25:01,730 --> 00:25:03,211
You just want to put a little
pepper on the end of it.
652
00:25:03,212 --> 00:25:05,250
Like, "Yes!"
653
00:25:06,113 --> 00:25:07,528
"Yes!"
654
00:25:07,530 --> 00:25:08,599
"Ah, fuck."
655
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,516
- It's like, "Yes, yes, yes... "
- "Ah, fuck."
656
00:25:10,517 --> 00:25:12,266
- "... yes, yes, yes!"
- "Ah, fuck."
657
00:25:12,267 --> 00:25:14,766
Like, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"
658
00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:15,849
"Yes!"
659
00:25:15,850 --> 00:25:17,183
Just having a fight with my hat.
660
00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:18,849
- (ALL MOANING)
- "Oh, my God."
661
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,766
(GRUNTING)
662
00:25:20,767 --> 00:25:22,183
(MOANING)
663
00:25:22,184 --> 00:25:24,266
"Oh, my God!"
664
00:25:24,267 --> 00:25:25,516
"Feels really good."
665
00:25:25,517 --> 00:25:28,349
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God."
666
00:25:28,350 --> 00:25:31,849
(ALL MOANING)
667
00:25:31,850 --> 00:25:37,167
"Oh, my God!
668
00:25:38,325 --> 00:25:39,824
Three praccys a week, buddy?
669
00:25:39,826 --> 00:25:42,237
Three praccys a week in
Senior-A whale shit, buddy.
670
00:25:42,239 --> 00:25:44,932
Half these guys wheel their
fuckin' bags into the rink.
671
00:25:44,934 --> 00:25:47,183
The day I fuckin' wheel
my bag into the rink
672
00:25:47,184 --> 00:25:49,063
is the day I stop playing hockey.
673
00:25:49,065 --> 00:25:50,251
A-fuckin'-men, buddy.
674
00:25:50,253 --> 00:25:51,813
Why do we even praccy, buddy?
675
00:25:51,815 --> 00:25:53,599
Should be rippin' sandos.
676
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,194
See me toss the sauce in the skates
677
00:25:55,196 --> 00:25:57,266
- all night long, buddy?
- Just tossin' rocket sauce
678
00:25:57,267 --> 00:25:58,608
straight into the blades, boys.
679
00:25:58,610 --> 00:26:01,419
I don't even know what a
tape-to-taper is anymore.
680
00:26:01,421 --> 00:26:03,458
Not sure what a tape-to-taper
is anymore, buddy.
681
00:26:03,460 --> 00:26:05,845
- Fuck tape-to-tapers, buddy.
- Fuck tapers.
682
00:26:05,847 --> 00:26:08,612
I fired a point-blank clap bomb
directly into Barts's chest tonight.
683
00:26:08,614 --> 00:26:10,849
Fired a point-blank point
bomb straight in Yorkie's junk.
684
00:26:10,850 --> 00:26:13,555
I snowed our plug tendy
no less than nine times.
685
00:26:13,557 --> 00:26:15,762
I snow-showered our plug tendy
and that was his own "D," man.
686
00:26:15,763 --> 00:26:16,932
(BOTH LAUGHING)
687
00:26:16,934 --> 00:26:19,018
Praccy's not badski when you're donkin'.
688
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,323
I could donk all day, boys.
689
00:26:21,325 --> 00:26:24,334
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
690
00:29:16,190 --> 00:29:18,190
Subtitle by peritta
691
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:22,790
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