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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,704 --> 00:00:02,252 Hot in Cleveland is recorded 2 00:00:02,271 --> 00:00:03,999 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,343 Okay, let's get him in his car seat. 4 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,557 Sounds good. 5 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,895 Elka, we've got to talk. 6 00:00:13,217 --> 00:00:15,328 Look, I'm just a hairdresser, 7 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:17,940 but I know human nature right down to the roots. 8 00:00:17,995 --> 00:00:19,999 I think we'd better stop. 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,389 [Laughter] 10 00:00:21,509 --> 00:00:22,797 Why are they all laughing? 11 00:00:22,813 --> 00:00:24,919 - I mean, I've seenp eople cheating before. - What the hell is so funny? 12 00:00:24,957 --> 00:00:26,734 Are we... are we taping this for good? 13 00:00:26,752 --> 00:00:27,303 Yes. 14 00:00:27,303 --> 00:00:29,092 Well, why the hell didn't you tell me that? 15 00:00:29,931 --> 00:00:32,690 I don't need this stinking book. Get it out of here. 16 00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:34,579 [Upbeat music] 17 00:00:34,699 --> 00:00:40,454 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 18 00:00:40,504 --> 00:00:42,819 Meet this cast here at Hot in Cleveland! 19 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,723 - Are you ready? - [Cheers and applause] 20 00:00:51,897 --> 00:00:54,130 - Hi, everybody! - All: Hi! 21 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:55,807 Aw, you're a good audience. 22 00:00:55,850 --> 00:00:56,983 Thank you so much for coming out. 23 00:00:57,014 --> 00:00:58,347 - [Growls] - [Laughs] 24 00:00:58,372 --> 00:00:59,729 We have a great show for you tonight, 25 00:00:59,736 --> 00:01:01,763 and you guys are a very big part of it. 26 00:01:01,782 --> 00:01:03,058 We also have our great writers 27 00:01:03,071 --> 00:01:05,373 and our crew standing b... oh, what? 28 00:01:05,493 --> 00:01:07,162 Oh, my God! Look who's here. 29 00:01:07,231 --> 00:01:08,764 - Girl, get your butt over here. - No. 30 00:01:08,795 --> 00:01:10,378 Ladies and gentlemen, it's Kirstie Alley, 31 00:01:10,384 --> 00:01:13,180 the star of the upcoming TV Land series, Kirstie. 32 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,339 - [Cheers and applause] - Girl, come on! 33 00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:17,660 Come here. Come here. 34 00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,199 She's so pretty! 35 00:01:19,431 --> 00:01:22,915 [Groans] [Cheers and applause] 36 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,411 [Chatter] Yay! 37 00:01:26,312 --> 00:01:28,433 Thank you very much, Valerie. 38 00:01:28,902 --> 00:01:31,142 I was just trying to be a little bit incognito. 39 00:01:31,161 --> 00:01:32,438 Hi, everyone! 40 00:01:32,558 --> 00:01:33,795 All: Hi! 41 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:36,229 Kirstie, you can't be incognito. 42 00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:37,650 - Yeah, I think you probably... - So what are you doing here? 43 00:01:37,687 --> 00:01:38,413 I... I don't know. 44 00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:40,571 I was just rehearsing on the next stage, 45 00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:42,880 and I wanted to see what all the hullabaloo was. 46 00:01:42,924 --> 00:01:44,964 You guys are making quite a racket over here. 47 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,999 [Cheers and applause] 48 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,580 [Laughs] 49 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,119 Actually, to tell you the truth, 50 00:01:50,119 --> 00:01:51,808 I'm a huge fan of your show, 51 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,261 and I just wanted to see if I could get some 52 00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:56,976 inside info of what's happening on the show. 53 00:01:57,096 --> 00:01:59,673 Oh, so you want to be brought up to speed. 54 00:01:59,711 --> 00:02:00,880 - Ah. - Yes, I do. 55 00:02:00,943 --> 00:02:03,146 All right, here goes. 56 00:02:03,771 --> 00:02:05,911 [Soap theme] Male narrator: This is the story of three best friends, 57 00:02:06,087 --> 00:02:07,476 Victoria, Melanie, and Joy, 58 00:02:07,482 --> 00:02:09,422 who decided to take a trip to Paris, 59 00:02:09,459 --> 00:02:11,499 but the trip didn't go quite as planned 60 00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:14,052 when they had to make an unexpected stop. 61 00:02:14,515 --> 00:02:15,810 All: Cleveland? 62 00:02:15,847 --> 00:02:16,999 Narrator: While out on the town, 63 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,526 the ladies were pleasantly surprised 64 00:02:18,557 --> 00:02:20,328 by the manly attention they received. 65 00:02:20,448 --> 00:02:22,542 I haven't felt like a piece of meat in so long. 66 00:02:22,592 --> 00:02:24,263 Narrator: They ultimately decided to stay, 67 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,496 but soon realized the house they rented 68 00:02:26,559 --> 00:02:28,342 came with more than they bargained for. 69 00:02:28,405 --> 00:02:30,469 Why are you renting to prostitutes? 70 00:02:30,589 --> 00:02:32,159 Narrator: Then, a bunch of other stuff happened. 71 00:02:32,279 --> 00:02:34,385 Joy shot the son she gave up for adoption, 72 00:02:34,423 --> 00:02:36,356 who later showed up with a baby of his own. 73 00:02:36,412 --> 00:02:38,164 Victoria tried to reinvent her career 74 00:02:38,170 --> 00:02:39,246 by creating a sex tape, 75 00:02:39,250 --> 00:02:41,589 and doing a Japanese commercial for adult diapers. 76 00:02:41,699 --> 00:02:44,063 And Melanie, still trying to get over her divorce, 77 00:02:44,088 --> 00:02:46,553 was looking for love in all the wrong places. 78 00:02:46,597 --> 00:02:47,854 And Elka... 79 00:02:47,974 --> 00:02:49,556 well, she's still Elka. 80 00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:54,318 So, Kirstie, that's how they became, Hot in Cleveland. 81 00:02:54,806 --> 00:02:57,703 Yeah, that really wasn't what I was looking for. 82 00:02:57,734 --> 00:02:59,292 I was... I was looking for something more juicy. 83 00:02:59,323 --> 00:03:00,261 I don't know. 84 00:03:00,293 --> 00:03:03,064 Some of us are a little dried up. 85 00:03:04,866 --> 00:03:07,545 Well, can you give away any exciting plot lines 86 00:03:07,557 --> 00:03:09,434 coming up next season? You know, 87 00:03:09,465 --> 00:03:11,524 - just between us girls. - I don't think so. 88 00:03:12,256 --> 00:03:13,588 Hmm. Musical numbers? 89 00:03:13,638 --> 00:03:14,202 Nope. 90 00:03:14,322 --> 00:03:15,215 - Nudity? - No. 91 00:03:15,265 --> 00:03:16,347 Male nudity? 92 00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:18,968 What about characters 93 00:03:18,993 --> 00:03:21,226 visiting from other TV Land series? 94 00:03:21,239 --> 00:03:23,059 Absolutely not. 95 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,700 So how do you keep it fresh and funny? 96 00:03:25,725 --> 00:03:27,977 I mean, where are all the crazy situations? 97 00:03:28,097 --> 00:03:30,749 [Laughs] Kirstie, you may be new to television, 98 00:03:30,761 --> 00:03:33,339 but the best sitcoms are all about 99 00:03:33,376 --> 00:03:36,092 great characters and funny writing. 100 00:03:36,117 --> 00:03:38,707 Yeah, you know, we don't need any crazy antics 101 00:03:38,744 --> 00:03:41,654 or ridiculous situations on our show. 102 00:03:42,279 --> 00:03:43,136 Really? 103 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,289 [Siren chirps] 104 00:03:45,489 --> 00:03:47,034 Oh, Sugar! It's the cops! 105 00:03:47,084 --> 00:03:49,299 [Upbeat music] 106 00:04:02,104 --> 00:04:04,362 [Screams] 107 00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:05,880 Okay, so what should I do? 108 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:06,784 Call Victoria. 109 00:04:06,821 --> 00:04:08,474 She's always good for an asinine scream. 110 00:04:08,486 --> 00:04:10,469 Scream? [Laughs] 111 00:04:10,764 --> 00:04:13,629 Oh, I wish I could just hop on the next plane to Venice, 112 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,113 spy on him, and find out if I can trust him. 113 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,000 - Room service. - Avanti. 114 00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:25,386 Oh, thank God you're here. I need your help. 115 00:04:25,442 --> 00:04:27,576 Caroline's girlfriend hit on me. Hit on me! 116 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:28,999 [Sighs] Oh. 117 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,331 Did you miss... oh... um... we... what? What? 118 00:04:33,338 --> 00:04:36,648 Oh, thank God you're here. Caroline's girlfriend hit on me. 119 00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:38,462 Hit on me! I need a plan. 120 00:04:39,576 --> 00:04:41,221 - [Laughs] - Isn't that it? [Laughs] 121 00:04:41,428 --> 00:04:43,499 - Isn't that it? No? - No, can you buy the sex k... 122 00:04:43,555 --> 00:04:45,839 - No, they cut it. - Oh, bloody hell. 123 00:04:46,609 --> 00:04:48,567 - Nobody told me. - They didn't tell you? 124 00:04:48,573 --> 00:04:49,474 - No. - What? 125 00:04:49,537 --> 00:04:51,307 That is a disgrace. 126 00:04:51,427 --> 00:04:52,999 Oh, Elka, not this again. 127 00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,568 She's head of the restoration committee for the Fresco, 128 00:04:55,618 --> 00:04:57,402 and she thinks the restorer is taking too long. 129 00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:59,103 Well, he is. 130 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:02,169 Give me a box of paints and a six-pack of beer, 131 00:05:02,188 --> 00:05:04,478 I'll knock that baby out tonight. 132 00:05:05,585 --> 00:05:07,999 Guess who just got a part in a Woody Allen movie? 133 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,002 Oh, thank God. He's with Victoria. 134 00:05:10,003 --> 00:05:12,395 - You could have told us. - All right, I'll answer. 135 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:13,061 - [Stammering] - Ah! 136 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:13,880 - I did it wrong. - Ah! 137 00:05:13,906 --> 00:05:15,902 Ah! Get out. 138 00:05:17,197 --> 00:05:19,305 Maybe this was a stupid id... 139 00:05:21,091 --> 00:05:22,968 I love it. Leave it in. 140 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,594 [Laughter] 141 00:05:24,714 --> 00:05:26,202 Sorry I'm not returning messages, 142 00:05:26,246 --> 00:05:28,492 but I'm on vacation, and I left my phone at home. 143 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,119 He hasn't seen my text. 144 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,308 He doesn't think I'm an idiot. 145 00:05:31,428 --> 00:05:33,028 I hate to bring up the obvious, 146 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,005 but he will see them when he gets back. 147 00:05:35,525 --> 00:05:36,945 And before you ask, 148 00:05:36,983 --> 00:05:39,510 I will not help you break into his apartment 149 00:05:39,535 --> 00:05:41,086 so you can delete your messages. 150 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,747 That is a great idea. 151 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,069 Joy, are you okay? How did it go? 152 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,777 Hideously painful. 153 00:05:49,897 --> 00:05:51,654 It stings and it itches. 154 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,524 [Laughter] 155 00:05:53,574 --> 00:05:55,880 Joy, how did it go? Are you... are you okay? 156 00:05:55,895 --> 00:05:57,503 It was hideously painful. 157 00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,268 It stings and it itches. 158 00:05:59,268 --> 00:06:02,196 [Laughter] 159 00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:05,000 [Pop, pop] Unh. 160 00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:11,480 It's a miracle. 161 00:06:13,226 --> 00:06:17,004 This stupid car has more pieces than the puppet theater. 162 00:06:17,124 --> 00:06:19,225 And it needs two "D" batteries. 163 00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:20,845 Where are we gonna get those? 164 00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:29,010 [Laughter] 165 00:06:36,656 --> 00:06:39,397 You guys have had some pretty impressive guests on your show. 166 00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:40,333 Yes, we have. 167 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,987 We've had a lot of great actors on our show. 168 00:06:42,107 --> 00:06:45,152 Mary Tyler Moore, Carol Burnett, Craig Ferguson, 169 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,086 Heather Locklear, Rhea Perlman. 170 00:06:47,092 --> 00:06:48,412 Oh yeah, and Rhea's on my new show. 171 00:06:48,437 --> 00:06:50,571 Really? You know, we discovered her. 172 00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:54,100 You're welcome. 173 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:58,011 Well, I sure hope I get as many wonderful guests 174 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,952 on my new show. How do you do it? 175 00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,247 - A really nice fruit platter. - Private bathroom. 176 00:07:02,453 --> 00:07:04,155 - A sack of money. - Mm. 177 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,915 And a little blackmail doesn't hurt. 178 00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:08,310 Hmm. 179 00:07:09,453 --> 00:07:10,988 Holy Cher, it's a baby! 180 00:07:11,453 --> 00:07:12,765 - Hold me! - Oh. 181 00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:14,172 Hello, Victoria. 182 00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:17,883 Tell me what the hell just happened in my church. 183 00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:20,986 - You didn't see this. - You didn't see this. 184 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:23,574 - You look familiar. - You don't. 185 00:07:23,601 --> 00:07:26,479 Don't I know you from someplace? 186 00:07:27,049 --> 00:07:29,670 I don't... I'm... I don't know. 187 00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,409 What's your sign? 188 00:07:32,423 --> 00:07:34,906 - "For rent." - [Laughs] 189 00:07:36,815 --> 00:07:39,830 We'll be working together a lot, so 190 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:41,957 rule number one... 191 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,290 you can't fall in love with me. 192 00:07:44,641 --> 00:07:46,436 That won't be a problem. 193 00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:48,063 Question... 194 00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:50,333 - who are your top five... - Hold, sorry, sorry. 195 00:07:50,396 --> 00:07:52,605 Mm, come on, pull it together. 196 00:07:52,949 --> 00:07:54,833 This would never happen on Modern Family. 197 00:07:55,052 --> 00:07:56,785 [Laughs] 198 00:07:57,016 --> 00:07:58,668 You know what? I can still remember 199 00:07:58,693 --> 00:08:00,169 when I guest-starred on your show. 200 00:08:00,289 --> 00:08:02,966 I had so much fun. 201 00:08:03,453 --> 00:08:05,788 - Kirstie, sweetie, you didn't guest - Star on our show. 202 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,766 What are you talking about? Don't you remember? 203 00:08:08,973 --> 00:08:11,513 [Romantic music] 204 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,093 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. 205 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,593 It... it didn't happen that way. 206 00:08:18,608 --> 00:08:20,084 Well, that's how I remember it. 207 00:08:20,204 --> 00:08:22,017 Girlfriend, that was five minutes ago. 208 00:08:22,562 --> 00:08:24,452 Well, it still counts. 209 00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:27,333 At least on my show, everybody's not fighting all the time. 210 00:08:27,348 --> 00:08:28,881 - What? - Hey, Kirstie, 211 00:08:28,913 --> 00:08:31,452 we have the utmost respect and love for one another. 212 00:08:31,453 --> 00:08:32,923 [Laughs] 213 00:08:36,026 --> 00:08:37,452 Sorry you're so hideous. 214 00:08:37,453 --> 00:08:38,829 And unlovable. 215 00:08:38,949 --> 00:08:41,263 Have fun dying alone. 216 00:08:42,132 --> 00:08:43,014 Nothing. 217 00:08:43,046 --> 00:08:44,779 Ignore her, Joy. 218 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,606 Your big man-hands are in perfect proportion 219 00:08:47,631 --> 00:08:49,827 to your big man-feet. 220 00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,854 How do I look? 221 00:08:51,974 --> 00:08:54,333 You're giving off a Joy vibe. 222 00:08:54,345 --> 00:08:55,984 Oh, no, I don't want to look that slutty. 223 00:08:55,984 --> 00:08:57,041 Hey. 224 00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,036 Aren't you guys a little 225 00:08:58,036 --> 00:09:00,452 long in the tooth for silly superstition? 226 00:09:00,453 --> 00:09:03,452 This from the woman who walked into Caesar's palace and said, 227 00:09:03,453 --> 00:09:05,170 "wasn't really like this." 228 00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:08,123 Said the loosest slot in Vegas. 229 00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:10,125 So is this your fantasy? 230 00:09:11,095 --> 00:09:12,696 It's better than fantasy. 231 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,333 It's real. 232 00:09:14,349 --> 00:09:16,245 [Laughter] 233 00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:18,189 You know what? 234 00:09:18,453 --> 00:09:19,948 They can bite me. 235 00:09:20,855 --> 00:09:23,013 [Both shouting] 236 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,190 What up, bitch? 237 00:09:25,259 --> 00:09:26,748 Bitch. Bitch. 238 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,958 You're a good girl. Yes, you are. 239 00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:34,663 Vegas, baby! 240 00:09:34,663 --> 00:09:35,858 - Now you're just being an a - Hole. 241 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,734 Was it hard pushing a stroller around 242 00:09:37,784 --> 00:09:39,611 before the invention of the wheel? 243 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,741 You're at an awkward age for television. That... 244 00:09:47,114 --> 00:09:51,056 - [Laughs] - Don't make fun of an old lady. 245 00:09:51,969 --> 00:09:54,053 It looks just like you. 246 00:09:54,453 --> 00:09:55,767 There is a resemblance. 247 00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:59,158 What... this freakish creature looks nothing like me. 248 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:03,087 Hey, where'd you get the Victoria puppet? 249 00:10:04,119 --> 00:10:04,826 - Hi, honey. - Hey. 250 00:10:04,864 --> 00:10:06,478 - Want me to get that for you? - Yeah, thanks. 251 00:10:06,598 --> 00:10:08,731 It's so nice having a man around the house. 252 00:10:08,744 --> 00:10:09,789 You can open... 253 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:11,115 I can't get a good grip. 254 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,511 Do you have one of those rubber, grippy things? 255 00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:13,931 Yeah, I think so. 256 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,077 Ooh, pickles. 257 00:10:17,786 --> 00:10:19,687 Don't feel bad. Joy has man-hands. 258 00:10:19,756 --> 00:10:21,908 Yep, that's his epididymis. 259 00:10:22,028 --> 00:10:24,843 This is just like Brett "Fav-er-uh." 260 00:10:25,049 --> 00:10:28,371 [Stifled laugh] 261 00:10:29,304 --> 00:10:31,452 Oh, this is just like Brett Farve. 262 00:10:32,782 --> 00:10:35,422 It... it kind of... [laughter] 263 00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:38,188 - "Farve." - Favre, Favre. 264 00:10:38,244 --> 00:10:42,129 "Farv-ve-ve-ve-ve." [Laughter] 265 00:10:42,799 --> 00:10:45,020 Oh, this is just like Brett Favre. 266 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,591 [Laughter] 267 00:10:48,198 --> 00:10:51,964 Oh, come to mommy, you salty, greasy bit of heaven. 268 00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:53,928 I'm gonna put you in my mouth. 269 00:10:54,247 --> 00:10:58,459 I bet you wish you had a dime for every time you've said that. 270 00:10:58,579 --> 00:11:00,999 Victoria is a bitch. 271 00:11:01,512 --> 00:11:03,645 I love that bird. 272 00:11:04,715 --> 00:11:08,238 I give you Elka Ostrovsky's, "Man-hands." 273 00:11:08,269 --> 00:11:09,646 Wait, what? 274 00:11:09,664 --> 00:11:11,333 I was married to the mob. 275 00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:14,670 I lived through the horrors of war. 276 00:11:14,851 --> 00:11:17,422 But I have never seen anything 277 00:11:17,453 --> 00:11:19,787 as terrifying as... 278 00:11:20,453 --> 00:11:22,077 man-hands. 279 00:11:24,147 --> 00:11:25,730 I wanted the "A." 280 00:11:30,335 --> 00:11:32,875 So one of the reasons I stopped by 281 00:11:32,995 --> 00:11:35,528 was because I thought maybe you would have some pointers for me. 282 00:11:35,546 --> 00:11:38,179 You mean, because of our centuries of experience? 283 00:11:38,299 --> 00:11:41,296 No, I'm actually talking about in the men department. 284 00:11:41,299 --> 00:11:43,786 I hear you guys stay pretty busy. 285 00:11:43,906 --> 00:11:45,501 Oh, yeah. 286 00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:49,474 It... it's regular "Sluts-ville" over here. 287 00:11:50,031 --> 00:11:51,298 So, what's your secret? 288 00:11:51,299 --> 00:11:52,759 Oh, we leave a bowl of food out, 289 00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:54,661 and they just keep coming back. 290 00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:57,783 [Angelic singing] 291 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,881 I just rescued these puppies from a fire. 292 00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:03,508 Marry me. 293 00:12:03,702 --> 00:12:06,204 Elka! Elka! 294 00:12:06,324 --> 00:12:08,050 You slept with Woody Allen? 295 00:12:08,088 --> 00:12:10,096 Yes, and I feel terrible about it. 296 00:12:10,108 --> 00:12:10,753 Guess what. 297 00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:13,073 I have a date with my gynecologist. 298 00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:15,607 They're called "appointments," dear. 299 00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:17,078 I am through with men. 300 00:12:17,128 --> 00:12:19,023 I am done with men, too. 301 00:12:19,074 --> 00:12:21,438 Yeah, what the [Bleep]? Oh, I'm sorry. 302 00:12:21,476 --> 00:12:23,472 [Laughter] 303 00:12:23,691 --> 00:12:25,862 You are the best tutor ever. 304 00:12:25,982 --> 00:12:28,008 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. 305 00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:32,594 I believe you and I 306 00:12:32,714 --> 00:12:35,241 are going to become great friends. 307 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,738 He's more of a boy next door. 308 00:12:38,751 --> 00:12:40,252 Positive, 309 00:12:40,372 --> 00:12:42,154 upbeat... 310 00:12:43,549 --> 00:12:45,877 - What is he? - [Murmuring] 311 00:12:47,291 --> 00:12:50,238 Very nice. [Laughs] 312 00:12:53,917 --> 00:12:55,938 Boy, he's cute. [Sighs] 313 00:12:56,058 --> 00:12:58,459 I'd flirt if I wasn't barefoot and wearing a flowered tarp. 314 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,111 I look like a crazy person. 315 00:13:00,699 --> 00:13:03,414 I need some subtle way to let him know I'm not crazy. 316 00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:04,778 I'm not crazy. 317 00:13:05,836 --> 00:13:08,664 Oh... you look amazing. 318 00:13:09,299 --> 00:13:11,735 Help! Pervert! 319 00:13:11,979 --> 00:13:13,475 I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, 320 00:13:13,487 --> 00:13:15,296 but was he really this hairy? 321 00:13:15,299 --> 00:13:16,622 Oh, he was a [Bleep] load of hair. 322 00:13:16,691 --> 00:13:19,689 [Laughs] 323 00:13:20,515 --> 00:13:22,924 Once you've had carnal relations 324 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,927 with a gentleman of African descent... 325 00:13:27,497 --> 00:13:29,568 it's quite unusual to go back. 326 00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:32,784 Remember those giant muffins we loved until 327 00:13:32,822 --> 00:13:35,262 we found out they were, like, 1,000 calories each? 328 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,395 He's that good. He's muffin good. 329 00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:40,085 Shut up! [Laughs] 330 00:13:40,299 --> 00:13:41,474 [Laughs] 331 00:13:41,499 --> 00:13:43,319 She just get... you get a twinkle in your eye. 332 00:13:43,338 --> 00:13:45,065 I am not tw... I am not twinkling. 333 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,343 Well, we're just gonna have to do for each other 334 00:13:47,361 --> 00:13:48,788 what we did with the muffins. 335 00:13:49,299 --> 00:13:50,298 Just eat the top? 336 00:13:50,299 --> 00:13:52,698 [Laughter] 337 00:13:53,862 --> 00:13:56,096 At the end of the day, men want something real, 338 00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:59,068 not some over-exaggerated sex doll right? 339 00:13:59,556 --> 00:14:01,076 [Panting] Wow. 340 00:14:02,027 --> 00:14:03,666 I mean, seriously. 341 00:14:03,786 --> 00:14:05,425 I had no idea you were double-jointed. 342 00:14:05,487 --> 00:14:06,870 [Sighs] 343 00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:08,334 Neither did I. 344 00:14:08,454 --> 00:14:10,167 I like it rough. 345 00:14:11,857 --> 00:14:13,298 Joy, are you in there? 346 00:14:13,299 --> 00:14:15,536 - I forgot my key. - And cut. 347 00:14:15,749 --> 00:14:17,632 No, no, don't cut! 348 00:14:19,465 --> 00:14:23,100 Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes! 349 00:14:23,807 --> 00:14:25,872 Okay, you think they're buying it out there? 350 00:14:25,878 --> 00:14:26,935 Oh, trust me, 351 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,770 probably half the crew is on the phone to TMZ already. 352 00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:31,784 [Both moaning] 353 00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:35,299 And... scene. 354 00:14:36,526 --> 00:14:37,490 Oh, boy. 355 00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:40,749 I didn't realize what big sluts you all were. 356 00:14:42,889 --> 00:14:45,559 So seriously, girls, what final advice can you give me? 357 00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:47,559 What is your secret to your success? 358 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,684 Hard work, and dedication to our craft. 359 00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:51,011 Professionalism. 360 00:14:51,079 --> 00:14:52,468 Mutual respect. 361 00:14:52,588 --> 00:14:55,065 No more than three shots at lunch. 362 00:15:00,539 --> 00:15:02,910 - "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba." - [Babbling] 363 00:15:02,941 --> 00:15:04,280 [Growling] 364 00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:05,513 Uh, "yem-yee-yem-ah." 365 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,252 [Stammering] 366 00:15:07,283 --> 00:15:09,091 Yeah, yeah, "ee-beep." 367 00:15:09,135 --> 00:15:10,336 "Nutta-taa." 368 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,559 - "Hib-i-de-bah." - Yeah. 369 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,170 "Ahha!" "A-hee-ha-ha." 370 00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:16,440 - [Growling] - [Hissing] 371 00:15:16,474 --> 00:15:18,839 "Bomp-bromp-be-do-lo-plap." Yeah, I messed up, whatever. 372 00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:23,000 I sent him a slightly younger picture of myself. 373 00:15:23,832 --> 00:15:25,453 A cave drawing? 374 00:15:28,781 --> 00:15:31,152 I signed up when my bender was over. 375 00:15:31,202 --> 00:15:34,111 [Laughs] [Laughter] 376 00:15:34,905 --> 00:15:36,294 Oh, I'm so sorry. 377 00:15:36,319 --> 00:15:38,297 - You lied to me. - Well, you lied to me. 378 00:15:38,309 --> 00:15:40,559 Oh, you are... are out of order. 379 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,027 [Laughter] 380 00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:46,449 [Dog barking] 381 00:15:47,168 --> 00:15:50,428 Where does it say you have lines? 382 00:15:51,942 --> 00:15:56,127 "Trufo-go-dar-ah-ah- vidan-eh-d e-deet" 383 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,666 [laughs] Action. 384 00:15:57,697 --> 00:16:00,431 "Trufo-go-dar-duh, uh... 385 00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:03,589 vad-e-ma." [indistinct in background] 386 00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:07,049 Come on, Wendy, get it right. Here we go. 387 00:16:07,743 --> 00:16:10,140 - Action. - People, we're acting. 388 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,992 Speak for yourself. 389 00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:17,304 I signed up when my... [laughter] 390 00:16:23,022 --> 00:16:25,574 You know how much I value our friendship. 391 00:16:25,631 --> 00:16:28,415 You are the wings beneath my wind. 392 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,358 There you are. 393 00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:35,022 It's time for tai chi. 394 00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:38,560 And they're serving tai chi, and they're serving chai tea. 395 00:16:44,558 --> 00:16:47,560 There you are. It's time for chai tea. 396 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,772 There you are. 397 00:16:58,953 --> 00:17:00,686 It's time for tai chi, 398 00:17:00,806 --> 00:17:02,506 and they're serving chai tea. 399 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,378 Well, for... for... [laughs] 400 00:17:07,649 --> 00:17:10,077 I signed up when my bender was over. 401 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,611 In fact, that's my screen name, 402 00:17:12,905 --> 00:17:14,851 "Bender Over." [Laughter] 403 00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:18,987 [Happy whistling] 404 00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:04,085 And that's how you do it. 405 00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:06,387 How many years have you girls been on? 406 00:18:06,406 --> 00:18:08,971 - It's our fourth season. - Yeah, 78 episodes. 407 00:18:09,091 --> 00:18:10,892 Feels like 91. 408 00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:14,202 I just hope I have some of the success that you guys have had. 409 00:18:14,202 --> 00:18:16,298 Well, we're very excited to see your show. 410 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,855 - Yeah, thank you. - Whatever it's called. 411 00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:20,827 Oh, it's called Kirstie. 412 00:18:20,947 --> 00:18:23,917 Just Kirstie? That's original. 413 00:18:24,092 --> 00:18:25,563 No, but you know, I... I kind of like it. 414 00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:27,118 I mean, it's simple. 415 00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:30,868 Maybe we should've named our show after its star... 416 00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:32,464 "Victoria." 417 00:18:34,153 --> 00:18:35,229 No, I think actually, 418 00:18:35,273 --> 00:18:37,031 "Melanie," has a nice ring to it. 419 00:18:37,151 --> 00:18:39,521 Or simply, "Joy." 420 00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,780 Oh, that's awful. 421 00:18:41,986 --> 00:18:43,351 Everybody knows that 422 00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:46,654 "Ostrovsky," is what a hit show sounds like. 423 00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:48,685 Your last looks, ladies. 424 00:18:48,742 --> 00:18:50,519 - Okay, bye-bye. - Okay, you guys, you get back to work. 425 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,559 Have a great night, Kirstie. 426 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:52,727 Good luck with your show. You're gonna be great. 427 00:18:52,747 --> 00:18:54,886 Thank you so much for letting me stop by. 428 00:18:54,918 --> 00:18:57,308 - I want a bell and roll please. - All right. 429 00:18:57,326 --> 00:18:58,978 [Bell rings] 430 00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:02,387 Four banker, take three. Three cameras. 431 00:19:02,507 --> 00:19:04,408 And clear. 432 00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:06,773 And action. 433 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,921 That's your line, Betty. 434 00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:15,560 [Bleep]. 435 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:28,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 436 00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:32,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30626

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