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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:12,687 Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience. 2 00:00:12,985 --> 00:00:14,784 It's here everyone: 3 00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:17,825 My interview in Cosmopolitan Magazine. 4 00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:21,238 "Victoria Chase Sizzles In Her Fabulous 40s." 5 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:24,605 Why are you bringing us 20-year-old Cosmos? 6 00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:27,611 God, this magazine! 7 00:00:27,645 --> 00:00:29,046 In the last 30 years, 8 00:00:29,081 --> 00:00:31,015 I must have read 7,000 sex tips. 9 00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:32,850 And it all comes down to two-- 10 00:00:32,884 --> 00:00:35,786 Be a woman and show up. 11 00:00:35,821 --> 00:00:36,921 My mother told me, 12 00:00:36,955 --> 00:00:40,288 "Wiggle your hips and say his name a lot." 13 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,958 In Polish, it rhymes. 14 00:00:44,196 --> 00:00:46,831 Oh, this is all so exciting. 15 00:00:46,865 --> 00:00:49,900 Being in a Woody Allen movie and dating Sir Emmet Lawson 16 00:00:49,935 --> 00:00:53,137 has made me press-worthy again. 17 00:00:53,271 --> 00:00:55,105 [Gasps] Oh, my God. 18 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,773 It's Jimmy Kimmel's office. 19 00:00:56,808 --> 00:00:59,710 - Answer it. - I can't pick up my own phone. 20 00:00:59,744 --> 00:01:02,479 I need an assistant. Melanie, you're hired. 21 00:01:02,513 --> 00:01:04,215 Victoria, I have a job. 22 00:01:04,249 --> 00:01:06,583 Doing...? 23 00:01:06,617 --> 00:01:07,684 I've been working 24 00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,753 at a public relations firm for months. 25 00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:11,956 Huh. Joy, what about you? 26 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,557 I'm in college. 27 00:01:13,591 --> 00:01:16,924 When did all of this happen? 28 00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,495 Come on, Joy, we got to get going. 29 00:01:18,529 --> 00:01:19,596 We're playing tennis before work 30 00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:21,098 with Alec and his friend Bill. 31 00:01:21,132 --> 00:01:23,033 This isn't a secret fix-up, is it? 32 00:01:23,068 --> 00:01:24,401 No, no, we just need a fourth. 33 00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:25,802 Good, 'cause I'm taking a break from dating. 34 00:01:25,837 --> 00:01:27,571 I really need a little perspective. 35 00:01:27,605 --> 00:01:29,406 He's 6'2" and super cute. 36 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,308 And that's just the perspective I needed. 37 00:01:31,343 --> 00:01:33,010 Hurry up. We'll be late for our date. 38 00:01:33,044 --> 00:01:34,511 Okay, but I really should warn you, 39 00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:35,612 he's a word shortener. 40 00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:37,214 Vacation is "vacay," 41 00:01:37,249 --> 00:01:39,183 session is "sesh," Cleveland is "Cleve." 42 00:01:39,217 --> 00:01:40,251 Mm, that sounds annoying. 43 00:01:40,285 --> 00:01:41,785 He also owns his own restaurant. 44 00:01:41,819 --> 00:01:44,121 "Terrif." 45 00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:46,523 Talk to me, babe. 46 00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:48,525 Elka, who are you calling? 47 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:50,194 Kimmel. 48 00:01:50,228 --> 00:01:52,596 - What? - I'm your new assistant. 49 00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:54,598 Have you lost your mind? 50 00:01:54,632 --> 00:01:55,732 I got this. 51 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,968 I watched every episode of Entourage. 52 00:01:58,003 --> 00:01:59,370 All right, give me that phone. 53 00:01:59,404 --> 00:02:01,638 Victoria Chase returning. 54 00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:03,840 If she doesn't get the first spot, 55 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:06,277 she's going straight to Letterman. 56 00:02:06,311 --> 00:02:08,645 No, no, any spot is fine. 57 00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:09,880 First spot? 58 00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:12,349 Oh, thank you, Bernie. 59 00:02:12,384 --> 00:02:14,785 See you Friday at Temple. 60 00:02:14,819 --> 00:02:17,154 Temple, really? 61 00:02:17,188 --> 00:02:20,024 He's not gonna be there either. 62 00:02:23,513 --> 00:02:28,012 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 63 00:02:30,501 --> 00:02:31,668 What a great game! 64 00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:33,404 Boy, you really hustle on the court. 65 00:02:33,438 --> 00:02:35,539 - I like to win. - I just like to play. 66 00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,974 I don't care who wins. 67 00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:39,310 I noticed. 68 00:02:39,344 --> 00:02:42,313 But, wow, you and Bill, you guys sure are competitive. 69 00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:44,081 Oh, that's just all in good fun. 70 00:02:44,115 --> 00:02:45,950 And the fun part is, I am better than him 71 00:02:45,984 --> 00:02:47,952 by, like, a lot. 72 00:02:47,986 --> 00:02:49,686 Hey, Bill and Joy really seemed to hit it off. 73 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,988 Do you think maybe we should invite 'em 74 00:02:51,022 --> 00:02:52,056 for game night Saturday? 75 00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:53,223 I don't know. 76 00:02:53,258 --> 00:02:55,426 Friends dating friends-- that gets weird. 77 00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:56,700 Well, no, it doesn't have to be. 78 00:02:56,727 --> 00:02:59,463 And Joy really deserves a great guy like Bill. 79 00:02:59,497 --> 00:03:01,231 She's had bad luck with men. 80 00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:03,000 But don't tell Bill, I don't want to spook him. 81 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:04,701 [Phone chimes] 82 00:03:04,735 --> 00:03:06,437 Oh, sweet! 83 00:03:06,471 --> 00:03:07,704 I just got selected 84 00:03:07,738 --> 00:03:09,406 to be Cleveland's most eligible bachelor 85 00:03:09,441 --> 00:03:12,774 for the sixth year in a row. 86 00:03:13,678 --> 00:03:16,246 Oh, that's terrific. 87 00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:17,747 You don't seem happy about it. 88 00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:19,183 No, I am, I am. 89 00:03:19,217 --> 00:03:20,650 Yeah, I just didn't think you were gonna be 90 00:03:20,685 --> 00:03:21,818 in the running this year, 91 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:24,321 'cause, you know, the word "eligible" 92 00:03:24,356 --> 00:03:26,923 makes you sound so eligible. 93 00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:28,359 Which, of course, I'm not... 94 00:03:28,393 --> 00:03:31,528 Although Chloe always thought it was good for business. 95 00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:34,231 Uhhuh. Uh-huh. 96 00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:37,598 But Chloe doesn't work here anymore. 97 00:03:37,935 --> 00:03:41,268 So it only matters what you think. 98 00:03:42,573 --> 00:03:43,240 So... 99 00:03:43,274 --> 00:03:45,976 What do you think? 100 00:03:46,011 --> 00:03:48,745 I guess I think that I don't need to be 101 00:03:48,779 --> 00:03:50,947 on some silly magazine cover. [Chuckles] 102 00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,983 You'd give up your crown and all the perks for me? 103 00:03:53,018 --> 00:03:54,385 Absolutely. 104 00:03:54,419 --> 00:03:56,553 And there's no crown, but... 105 00:03:56,587 --> 00:03:59,920 Well, there are some perks-- Free eye exam... 106 00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,558 10% off Dunkin' Donuts. 107 00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:04,925 Boy, I use that every day. 108 00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:07,398 Joy, you have a wicked backhand. 109 00:04:07,432 --> 00:04:10,100 Totally "ridic." 110 00:04:10,135 --> 00:04:11,701 Thanks. 111 00:04:11,736 --> 00:04:15,039 I guess we both live for the "competish." 112 00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:18,375 Whoa. 113 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,545 I just got named Cleve's most eligible bachelor. 114 00:04:21,579 --> 00:04:23,914 [Gasps] Congratulations. 115 00:04:24,448 --> 00:04:26,616 Hey, didn't Alec win that, like, five years in a row? 116 00:04:27,151 --> 00:04:28,785 The torch has been passed. 117 00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:31,055 And I cannot wait to find just the right moment 118 00:04:31,089 --> 00:04:34,422 to rub that torch in his face. 119 00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:35,625 So, Stu, 120 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,694 since you can't satisfy your wife, 121 00:04:37,728 --> 00:04:40,730 how about you satisfy me? 122 00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:45,135 - Yes, I'll hold. - Elka? 123 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,770 Who are you talking to now? 124 00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:50,137 Tarantino's people. 125 00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:52,509 I'm pitching you for his next movie. 126 00:04:52,544 --> 00:04:54,945 What? No, no, you're not my agent. 127 00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:56,346 You're my assistant. 128 00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:59,550 I promoted myself. 129 00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:02,917 Elka, Victoria, this is Alec's friend Bill. 130 00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,721 - Oh, hi, Bill. - Oh. 131 00:05:04,755 --> 00:05:05,889 Bill just got voted 132 00:05:05,923 --> 00:05:07,657 Cleveland's most eligible bachelor. 133 00:05:07,692 --> 00:05:09,726 Oh, congratulations. 134 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,328 And if I'm not mistaken, 135 00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:14,064 your restaurant just earned a coveted Michelin star. 136 00:05:14,099 --> 00:05:17,432 You are not mistaken. We did score a "Mish." 137 00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:21,836 Don't tell Bill, but his restaurant is overrated. 138 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,708 All he does is slap truffles on everything. 139 00:05:27,645 --> 00:05:30,478 So, Stu, stop yanking my chain. 140 00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:32,749 Put Marty on. 141 00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,218 Who's Marty? 142 00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:37,254 There's always a Marty. 143 00:05:40,691 --> 00:05:43,160 [Sighs] 144 00:05:43,694 --> 00:05:45,729 Are you sure you're not disappointed? 145 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,331 Why would you say that? 146 00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,533 Because you keep looking at last year's issue and sighing. 147 00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:51,335 Oh, no. 148 00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:53,604 I had a good run. 149 00:05:53,638 --> 00:05:56,971 Nope, now I'm free to grow out my soul patch. 150 00:05:58,276 --> 00:05:59,476 Soul patch? 151 00:05:59,511 --> 00:06:02,844 Is that that little beard that gnomes have? 152 00:06:03,581 --> 00:06:04,681 Yeah, yeah. 153 00:06:04,715 --> 00:06:06,183 All the guys in my basketball league, 154 00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:07,851 they all patch out for the season. 155 00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:09,219 See? I started already. 156 00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:12,523 Oh, yeah. I just thought you missed a spot shaving. 157 00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:14,124 You're not a fan of the soul patch? 158 00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:15,692 No, no, I love 'em. 159 00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:19,059 It's like you're my very own Starbucks barista. 160 00:06:20,331 --> 00:06:22,766 You know, the coffee at Dunkin' Donuts is better. 161 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,235 Was better. 162 00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:26,603 [Giggles] You're funny. 163 00:06:26,638 --> 00:06:28,372 [Door opens] 164 00:06:28,406 --> 00:06:31,007 So, uh, Oil of Olay would be a huge boost 165 00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:33,109 to our national... 166 00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:34,711 [Door closes] Okay, she's gone. 167 00:06:34,745 --> 00:06:36,746 - Where were we? - Wait. 168 00:06:36,781 --> 00:06:39,141 Why can't we tell people in the office that we're dating now 169 00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:41,285 so we can avoid awkward moments like that? 170 00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:43,987 Well, it actually might create more awkward moments, 171 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,989 like people thinking you're getting special treatment 172 00:06:46,023 --> 00:06:48,492 for sleeping with the boss. 173 00:06:48,526 --> 00:06:51,495 You sound like you have some experience with this. 174 00:06:52,529 --> 00:06:54,498 Well... To be honest, 175 00:06:54,532 --> 00:06:56,533 I, uh--I have dated within the office, 176 00:06:56,568 --> 00:06:58,268 and it gets complicated. 177 00:06:58,303 --> 00:07:01,405 Oh. 178 00:07:01,439 --> 00:07:03,707 Not that it matters, 'cause it so doesn't... 179 00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:04,740 [Chuckles awkwardly] 180 00:07:04,741 --> 00:07:06,743 But who was it? 181 00:07:07,277 --> 00:07:08,478 Look, there's no point in telling you. 182 00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:09,813 It's in the past. 183 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,598 - Let's just let it go. - Okay, you're right. 184 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,650 It's in the past. I'll let it go. 185 00:07:13,685 --> 00:07:16,353 Was it Lisa, the copywriter? 186 00:07:16,387 --> 00:07:17,421 Melanie, don't do this. 187 00:07:17,455 --> 00:07:18,655 You are the only woman in my life. 188 00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:20,457 That's all that matters. 189 00:07:20,491 --> 00:07:22,559 Oh. 190 00:07:22,594 --> 00:07:24,927 Dianne in Accounting? 191 00:07:26,731 --> 00:07:28,732 [Sighs] 192 00:07:30,298 --> 00:07:31,599 Mm. You're right! 193 00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:34,966 Peanut butter and jelly is better with truffles. 194 00:07:36,939 --> 00:07:38,439 What's with all the Cosmos? 195 00:07:38,474 --> 00:07:39,974 Oh, there's an article about Victoria. 196 00:07:40,308 --> 00:07:42,510 She's conveniently marked it with a Post-it. 197 00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:45,045 "Victoria Chase's Fabulous 40s." 198 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,448 Wow, she looks great for 45. 199 00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:50,751 Mm. She looks really great for [Bleep]. 200 00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:53,854 Oh, my God, that just slipped out. 201 00:07:53,888 --> 00:07:55,489 Please, you can't say anything. 202 00:07:55,523 --> 00:07:56,957 No prob. 203 00:07:56,992 --> 00:07:58,459 I know women are a little "sensi" 204 00:07:58,493 --> 00:07:59,860 on that subject. 205 00:07:59,894 --> 00:08:01,428 Thank you. 206 00:08:01,463 --> 00:08:03,797 Hey, what are you doing Saturday night? 207 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,832 Actually, it's our monthly game night. 208 00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:07,734 I could use a good partner. 209 00:08:07,768 --> 00:08:09,569 Melanie's got Alec, and she's always bragging 210 00:08:09,604 --> 00:08:11,338 about how brilliant he is. 211 00:08:11,373 --> 00:08:12,906 Yeah, Alec's pretty good, I guess, 212 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:16,043 as long as he's not under pressure. 213 00:08:16,077 --> 00:08:17,544 Don't tell anyone, 214 00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:20,514 but Alec choked on Jeps. 215 00:08:21,248 --> 00:08:22,383 "Jeps"? 216 00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:24,684 Jeopardy! He was a contestant. 217 00:08:24,719 --> 00:08:25,952 Totally froze. 218 00:08:25,987 --> 00:08:27,988 Ended up with the lowest score in Jeps history-- 219 00:08:28,023 --> 00:08:31,356 negative 6,800. 220 00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:35,062 He was--he was so upset, he burst into tears. 221 00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:37,764 Even Alex trebek was embarrassed. 222 00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:39,799 Oh, my God, how humiliating. 223 00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:42,903 You know, Jeopardy! Is one of Melanie's favorite shows, 224 00:08:42,937 --> 00:08:44,471 even though she's terrible at it. 225 00:08:44,506 --> 00:08:46,040 Every time they answer correctly, 226 00:08:46,074 --> 00:08:47,908 she's all, "how do they know that stuff?" 227 00:08:47,942 --> 00:08:50,810 - So she's not very "intel." - No, she's very "intel." 228 00:08:50,845 --> 00:08:54,178 She's just more into Wheel. 229 00:08:56,684 --> 00:08:57,851 "Wheel"? 230 00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:58,919 It's Wheel of Fortune. 231 00:08:58,953 --> 00:09:01,721 I-I just shortened it. 232 00:09:01,756 --> 00:09:02,856 Huh. 233 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:06,223 Never heard it "abbreved" like that. 234 00:09:08,129 --> 00:09:10,864 Well, you better shove a phone book down your pants 235 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:14,231 'cause you're gonna get your ass kicked, O.B.B. 236 00:09:14,436 --> 00:09:17,671 I love you too, man. 237 00:09:17,705 --> 00:09:19,973 Well, it happened. Friends are dating friends. 238 00:09:20,007 --> 00:09:21,641 Joy invited Bill to game night. 239 00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:23,544 Oh, I think that's great! 240 00:09:23,578 --> 00:09:25,745 Why do you call Bill O.B.B.? 241 00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,548 Oh, it's-- it's nothing. 242 00:09:27,582 --> 00:09:30,150 No, it's just a nickname thing. 243 00:09:30,185 --> 00:09:33,287 [Meekly] I don't know. 244 00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:36,256 That is the worst covering up I have ever seen. 245 00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:38,425 Okay, look, I shouldn't have mentioned it. 246 00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,593 Can we just let it go? 247 00:09:39,627 --> 00:09:41,495 Alec, I'm your girlfriend! 248 00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:43,330 You're supposed to tell me stuff. 249 00:09:43,364 --> 00:09:45,966 Okay. Okay, I will tell you. 250 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,435 But you have to swear that you will tell no one. 251 00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:51,472 Okay. I swear, I swear. 252 00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:53,340 So what does O.B.B. Mean? 253 00:09:53,374 --> 00:09:56,477 "One Ball Bill"? 254 00:10:05,353 --> 00:10:07,221 Well, I promised I wouldn't say anything, 255 00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:08,755 but I really thought you should know, 256 00:10:08,789 --> 00:10:11,558 just in case you and Bill end up... you know, 257 00:10:11,593 --> 00:10:14,926 so you won't be totally surprised. 258 00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:16,430 It doesn't bother me. 259 00:10:16,464 --> 00:10:18,965 Well, I know men are quite attached to them. 260 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,601 But let's be honest. 261 00:10:20,635 --> 00:10:21,935 Aesthetically speaking, 262 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:25,302 it's not exactly a peacock plume. 263 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,107 You know, in terms of numbers, 264 00:10:27,142 --> 00:10:30,277 I think one is heading in the right direction. 265 00:10:30,311 --> 00:10:32,012 You know, it's not like you ever think, 266 00:10:32,046 --> 00:10:35,379 "Ooh, I wish there were more of those." 267 00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:40,220 Okay, Joy, I told you a secret about Bill. 268 00:10:40,255 --> 00:10:42,523 But now I need you to find out something for me. 269 00:10:42,557 --> 00:10:45,125 Alec confessed that I'm not the only woman 270 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,726 he's dated at the office. 271 00:10:46,761 --> 00:10:49,196 - And he won't tell me who she is! - I'm on it. 272 00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:51,131 But Bill can't know you're asking for me. 273 00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:52,999 Oh, please, I'm Mata Hari. 274 00:10:53,034 --> 00:10:55,135 Secrets are my business. 275 00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:57,771 In fact, Bill told me a juicy one 276 00:10:57,805 --> 00:10:59,540 about Alec being on Jeopardy! 277 00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:02,176 He was? I love Jeopardy! 278 00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:05,543 How do they know all that stuff? 279 00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:08,782 Well, sometimes they do, 280 00:11:08,816 --> 00:11:10,551 and sometimes they choke. 281 00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:13,918 Don't tell Alec I told you, but... 282 00:11:13,954 --> 00:11:17,123 One time on Jeps... 283 00:11:19,465 --> 00:11:21,432 The bottom line is, when Chloe left, 284 00:11:21,466 --> 00:11:22,699 she took half our clients. 285 00:11:22,734 --> 00:11:24,936 So are we gonna let that stop us? 286 00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:27,939 [Cell phone buzzes] 287 00:11:27,973 --> 00:11:30,942 Nine? 288 00:11:31,476 --> 00:11:33,077 Sorry, I just, um-- 289 00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,778 when I'm passionate about something, 290 00:11:34,813 --> 00:11:37,548 I speak German. 291 00:11:37,582 --> 00:11:40,915 Okay, well, on that note, let's adjourn for today. 292 00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,787 Thank you very much. 293 00:11:43,822 --> 00:11:46,324 Keep up the good work. 294 00:11:46,358 --> 00:11:49,026 By the way, Alec, love the soul patch. 295 00:11:49,061 --> 00:11:50,294 Well, thank you, Kathy. 296 00:11:50,329 --> 00:11:52,063 Hmm. 297 00:11:52,097 --> 00:11:54,465 Boy, that Kathy sure pitched a few clunkers, huh? 298 00:11:54,499 --> 00:11:55,899 I never dated Kathy. 299 00:11:55,934 --> 00:11:58,302 Oh, in that case, she made a number of excellent points. 300 00:11:58,337 --> 00:12:00,404 Melanie, don't do this. 301 00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:02,239 Please let it go, for your sake and for ours. 302 00:12:02,274 --> 00:12:03,540 I'm sorry. 303 00:12:03,575 --> 00:12:05,095 It's not something I like about myself, 304 00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:08,245 but sometimes I get a little jealous and insecure. 305 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,947 Well, you have no reason to be. 306 00:12:09,982 --> 00:12:13,315 You are all I want. 307 00:12:14,119 --> 00:12:15,353 Wow. 308 00:12:15,387 --> 00:12:18,720 That patch sure is growing in, isn't it? 309 00:12:19,191 --> 00:12:22,059 Mmm. Bill, these appetizers are delicious. 310 00:12:22,094 --> 00:12:25,427 Hot apps are my thing. 311 00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:28,832 Can you taste my secret "ingreed"? 312 00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:32,200 Is it truffles? 313 00:12:33,638 --> 00:12:36,507 "Truff" reduction, actually. 314 00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:38,042 [Softly] This whole meal 315 00:12:38,076 --> 00:12:40,577 could use a little "truff" reduction. 316 00:12:40,612 --> 00:12:43,680 Let me get you another vodka tonic, Elka. 317 00:12:43,715 --> 00:12:44,781 It's the least I can do 318 00:12:44,816 --> 00:12:46,484 for the little shark who got me a part 319 00:12:46,518 --> 00:12:48,519 in the next Tarantino movie. 320 00:12:48,553 --> 00:12:51,886 Oh, Elka, thank you, thank you, thank you. 321 00:12:52,657 --> 00:12:55,990 You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome. 322 00:12:57,062 --> 00:13:00,395 She didn't get the part. 323 00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:02,299 What? 324 00:13:02,334 --> 00:13:04,468 Oh, I demanded too much money. 325 00:13:04,503 --> 00:13:07,836 I was drunk with power. 326 00:13:08,073 --> 00:13:09,473 When are you going to tell her? 327 00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:12,841 As soon as I get drunk with vodka. 328 00:13:14,846 --> 00:13:18,179 Here's my little star. 329 00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:19,983 How about a toast to the chef? 330 00:13:20,018 --> 00:13:22,886 Who also happens to be... 331 00:13:22,921 --> 00:13:24,755 Um, um, I'm too modest. 332 00:13:24,789 --> 00:13:25,956 Joy, why don't you tell 'em? 333 00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:27,091 Bill just got named-- 334 00:13:27,092 --> 00:13:29,826 Cleveland's most eligible bachelor! 335 00:13:30,611 --> 00:13:32,063 Wait. Seriously? 336 00:13:32,097 --> 00:13:33,364 Awesome, right? 337 00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:34,598 And they're really stepping it up this year-- 338 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:37,701 Super Bowl tix. 339 00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,570 Super Bowl tickets? 340 00:13:39,604 --> 00:13:41,672 All I ever got was a discount Dunkin' Donuts card 341 00:13:41,706 --> 00:13:44,442 and a free eye exam. 342 00:13:44,476 --> 00:13:46,077 Yeah, I gave that stuff to my dad. 343 00:13:46,111 --> 00:13:49,113 But you've got the real prize.... 344 00:13:49,147 --> 00:13:52,480 Me. 345 00:13:52,951 --> 00:13:55,953 Of course I do. 346 00:13:55,987 --> 00:13:58,022 - So let's play. - We'll go first. 347 00:13:58,807 --> 00:14:00,107 Okay, so the rules. 348 00:14:00,142 --> 00:14:01,542 You pick a title of something, 349 00:14:01,576 --> 00:14:03,010 and then you draw a picture. 350 00:14:03,045 --> 00:14:04,879 Like if I drew a bowl with a cape, 351 00:14:04,913 --> 00:14:08,246 that might be Super Bowl. 352 00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:10,351 I get it. 353 00:14:10,385 --> 00:14:12,220 Okay, round. 354 00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:14,722 Round, round, around-- Around The World In 80 Days. 355 00:14:14,756 --> 00:14:15,756 - Yes! - Wow. 356 00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:16,958 Yay, Joy! 357 00:14:16,992 --> 00:14:18,625 What? No, you don't "yay" the other team. 358 00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:20,895 - It's your turn, Elka. - Oh, oh. 359 00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:23,731 Boy, Joy plays to win, huh? 360 00:14:23,765 --> 00:14:25,199 Must be nice. 361 00:14:25,234 --> 00:14:26,934 Don't worry. 362 00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:30,302 I've never won this game, so I'm due. 363 00:14:31,673 --> 00:14:35,006 Sharon... Stone... 364 00:14:36,078 --> 00:14:37,511 Got your part. 365 00:14:37,545 --> 00:14:39,881 Yes! 366 00:14:44,119 --> 00:14:46,487 How could this happen? You said it was a lock! 367 00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:49,854 You said that you went all Ari Gold on their ass! 368 00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:53,625 It turned out Entourage was all made up. 369 00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:58,766 I'm sorry, Victoria. 370 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,036 Well, I got to go call my agent... 371 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:04,403 My real agent. 372 00:15:07,109 --> 00:15:10,442 Wait till she finds out she lost Kimmel. 373 00:15:11,613 --> 00:15:13,381 [Sighs] Victoria's so upset. 374 00:15:13,415 --> 00:15:14,681 Maybe we should stop playing. 375 00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:15,849 - No! - No! 376 00:15:15,884 --> 00:15:17,453 Okay, then I'm up. 377 00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:21,289 Okay. 378 00:15:22,323 --> 00:15:24,358 Uh... It's a man. 379 00:15:24,393 --> 00:15:25,692 Man of La Mancha. 380 00:15:25,727 --> 00:15:27,594 Uh, no. Jester hat? 381 00:15:27,629 --> 00:15:29,030 Shakespeare In Love. 382 00:15:29,564 --> 00:15:30,898 Uh, baseball? 383 00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:32,433 -The Natural. - Time's up. 384 00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:34,402 What was it? Was I close? 385 00:15:34,436 --> 00:15:35,502 Kind of. 386 00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:38,870 Bridget Jones's Diary. 387 00:15:45,747 --> 00:15:47,848 - What? - It's a juggler. 388 00:15:47,882 --> 00:15:51,052 She has to juggle men and career and parents. 389 00:15:51,086 --> 00:15:52,719 Oh, that's good. 390 00:15:52,754 --> 00:15:55,356 [Mouths] 391 00:15:55,390 --> 00:15:56,490 How am I supposed to know it's a juggler, 392 00:15:56,524 --> 00:15:57,591 with only one ball? 393 00:15:57,625 --> 00:15:58,960 One ball is useless. 394 00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:01,528 If you only have one ball, you might as well have no balls. 395 00:16:01,563 --> 00:16:04,231 [Laughs] Oop. Hmm. 396 00:16:04,916 --> 00:16:07,599 What's so funny? 397 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,372 Oh, my God! 398 00:16:11,406 --> 00:16:13,374 You told Melanie about O.B.B.? 399 00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:15,542 You told Joy about O.B.B.? 400 00:16:15,577 --> 00:16:17,578 Only because I didn't want her to be surprised 401 00:16:17,612 --> 00:16:19,981 if and when the issue ever came up, 402 00:16:20,015 --> 00:16:22,416 which we're all rooting for! 403 00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:25,186 Bill, I am totally fine with one-- 404 00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,388 more than fine. It's better really. 405 00:16:27,422 --> 00:16:29,755 The less, the merrier. 406 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,193 See, she loves it. 407 00:16:32,227 --> 00:16:33,995 So let's just keep playing, okay? 408 00:16:34,029 --> 00:16:35,129 Okay. 409 00:16:35,163 --> 00:16:38,232 So, ball-- Bill... 410 00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:39,333 It's your turn. 411 00:16:39,368 --> 00:16:42,701 No prob. Let's get back to pics. 412 00:16:49,277 --> 00:16:50,811 Uh, it's a man. 413 00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:53,747 With tears. 414 00:16:53,781 --> 00:16:55,716 Oh, oh, I know this! 415 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,184 It's Alec on Jeopardy! 416 00:16:57,219 --> 00:16:59,353 - The Crying Game. - Yes! 417 00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:01,788 You swore you'd never tell anybody about Jeopardy! 418 00:17:01,823 --> 00:17:04,091 Like you swore you'd never tell anyone about O.B.B.! 419 00:17:04,126 --> 00:17:07,328 Again, I'm thrilled with just the one. 420 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,031 Well, this is a disaster. 421 00:17:10,065 --> 00:17:12,699 My agent said that there's no way I can get that part back, 422 00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:14,568 and I can't afford to lose parts. 423 00:17:14,602 --> 00:17:17,471 As an actress, I have a limited shelf life. 424 00:17:17,506 --> 00:17:18,472 Take it easy, Vic. 425 00:17:18,507 --> 00:17:21,840 You look "incred" for [Bleep]. 426 00:17:24,979 --> 00:17:26,347 Bill! 427 00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:29,383 Oh, Joy Scroggs, how could you? 428 00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:32,686 We never say that number! Not even to each other. 429 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,056 Well, this makes all the word shortening 430 00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:36,723 and the ugly soul patches 431 00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:39,893 and Melanie's cornball sex music look like nothing. 432 00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,495 What's wrong with word shortening? 433 00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:44,698 It's more "expedish." 434 00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:46,833 It can be the tiniest bit annoying. 435 00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:48,469 Well, that's a little picky. 436 00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:50,003 No wonder you have bad luck with men. 437 00:17:50,038 --> 00:17:52,839 Alec, I told you that in confidence! 438 00:17:52,874 --> 00:17:55,076 You told Alec I have bad luck with men? 439 00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:56,544 Come on, Joy. 440 00:17:56,578 --> 00:17:59,911 Anybody could have said that. 441 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,884 Melanie, you said that you loved my soul patch. 442 00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:05,619 And you said you loved John Mayer. 443 00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:08,055 Your Body Is A Wonderland is cornball sex music? 444 00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:09,823 Well, the "your" is not specific. 445 00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:11,392 It sounds like he's singing it to me. 446 00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:13,494 Somebody's a little bit into themself. 447 00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:14,628 Somebody who used to be 448 00:18:14,662 --> 00:18:16,263 Cleveland's most eligible "bach." 449 00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:17,298 You only won that 450 00:18:17,332 --> 00:18:18,612 because Melanie made me drop out. 451 00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:20,901 Made you? See? You are upset about it. 452 00:18:20,935 --> 00:18:22,169 Just admit it! 453 00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,670 And admit the truth about the nine other women 454 00:18:23,705 --> 00:18:24,771 you've slept with at the office! 455 00:18:24,806 --> 00:18:27,007 - Nine? - I didn't write "nine"! 456 00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:30,374 I wrote "Nina." Stupid autocorrect. 457 00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:33,114 It was Nina? 458 00:18:33,148 --> 00:18:35,116 Nina with the parking space closest to the building? 459 00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:36,484 Well, you don't have to be on Jeopardy! 460 00:18:36,518 --> 00:18:38,419 To know how she got that. 461 00:18:38,453 --> 00:18:39,920 See, she's not so stupid. 462 00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:43,287 [Gasps] 463 00:18:43,825 --> 00:18:45,392 You said I was stupid? 464 00:18:45,427 --> 00:18:48,028 No, I said you were more into Wheel than Jeps. 465 00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:49,096 Melanie, don't let your jealousy 466 00:18:49,131 --> 00:18:50,331 and your insecurity get the best of you. 467 00:18:50,365 --> 00:18:51,798 Oh, and who said I was jealous and insecure? 468 00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:53,567 You did! 469 00:18:53,602 --> 00:18:56,370 Well, you didn't have to repeat it! 470 00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:58,939 And if I actually were on Wheel right now, 471 00:18:58,973 --> 00:19:00,107 I would buy a vowel 472 00:19:00,142 --> 00:19:02,610 and put some impolite consonants around it 473 00:19:02,644 --> 00:19:05,977 and then add the word "you"! 474 00:19:07,182 --> 00:19:08,649 You can't add words on Wheel of Fortune! 475 00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:12,016 I just play to have fun! 476 00:19:13,455 --> 00:19:16,190 [Door slams] 477 00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:19,557 This never happens on Password. 478 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,033 See, this is what happens when friends date friends. 479 00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:31,401 - Oh, so now it's my fault! - Well, it's not my fault. 480 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,404 [Both sigh] 481 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,144 So I guess this is our first fight. 482 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,563 I guess so. 483 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,797 I hate fighting. 484 00:19:42,832 --> 00:19:44,599 I prefer to keep things to myself 485 00:19:44,633 --> 00:19:47,268 and let 'em simmer for 15, 20 years. 486 00:19:47,302 --> 00:19:48,536 I'm a bolter. 487 00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:51,904 There's no problem I can't run away from. 488 00:19:52,842 --> 00:19:55,643 So why aren't you running away now? 489 00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:59,011 I'm full of truffle butter and truffle wine. 490 00:20:00,916 --> 00:20:03,118 And I'm crazy about you. 491 00:20:04,152 --> 00:20:06,485 I'm crazy about you too. 492 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,258 I'm really sorry I made you give up the bachelor thing. 493 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,809 I guess I'm just worried, you know, 494 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,012 that--that you still want to be eligible. 495 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,248 No, no. I-I don't want to be eligible. 496 00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,049 I think I just liked the bragging rights 497 00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:20,185 of the bachelor thing. 498 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,987 Truth is I love being with you, 499 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,523 and I want the world to know. 500 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,057 In fact, I've been thinking 501 00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:28,660 we should tell everyone at the office about us. 502 00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:30,128 I'd like that. 503 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,663 Mm. [Smooches] 504 00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,532 And I'm really getting used to the soul patch. 505 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,634 No, you're not. I'll shave tomorrow. 506 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,345 Or tonight, your choice. [Both chuckle] 507 00:20:37,346 --> 00:20:42,735 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 508 00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:47,335 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35783

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